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A friend pointed me to this clever set of old war-time posters adapted to reflect today's library hardships, made British Internet consultant (and presumably big library fan) Phil Bradley. Here's one of them:

Most of Bradley's posters suggest that simply using our libraries is enough to save them. Of course, at least in the States, library usage is on the rise — but that often doesn't translate into fiscal support from the taxpayers or local government. Still, I really like the sentiment!

I'd love to see a queue like this outside our library...except I know how much the patrons would complain. It's bad enough when our parking lot is full! And, to be honest, I could do without the guns and pickaxes, too...

" i am trying my new Hat! "
-Studio69

I've mentioned before how much I love the Boston Globe blog The Big Picture. Here's an image that caught my attention: a vast library projected onto the Tower of David in Jerusalem's Old City.

Magical, huh? Looks like a wizardly library to me. Click the photo to see it at full resolution. It's #21 on the page. (Sorry about the hot-linkage, guys...)

More photo fun: If you love vintage photos, check out Shorpy: History in HD, which offers high-definition photos from the 1850s to the 1950s. You can even purchase prints. (Via AL Direct.)

I just got to pet an opossum, a baby alligator, an armadillo, and a baby ostrich. I also got a close-up look at a tarantula and helped carry a 9 foot, 80 pound (baby) Burmese python around the auditorium.

My job rocks.

We hired zoologist Dr. Robert James to do his Animal Encounters program for a packed auditorium (about 85 people, and there were people who went disappointed). He brings a half dozen animals with him and walks the aisles with each as he talks about them.

You're allowed to touch all of them except for the tarantula—which made the stroll upon a little girl's hand. You're allowed to take pictures and video (I did not, sorry to say). The only rule is no talking.

All the animals are rescues who will be rehabilitated and released to the wild or orphans who have imprinted on humans and cannot be released. The animals are attuned to Dr. James's voice, to the point where they expect it. When he's on the other side of the world, back home his animals listen to recordings of his voice.

Dr. James said that after he spent time as a POW he vowed he would never cage an animal again, so he's very anti-cage, anti-leash. He guided the ostrich through the aisles with verbal commands in Spanish.

He also talked about appreciating diversity, not making judgments about an animal or person without having met them first, not making generalizations about a whole species/ethnicity/whatever based on your experience with an individual. Nevertheless, there were still people (adults, need I say?) who shrank back in fear/disgust when certain animals came their way. Sad.

More take-home points:
- Armadillos are hairy in spite of their leathery skin.
- Some possums have very pretty, clever faces.
- Alligators are dumb, have no saliva (so they don't eat unless they're in water to lubricate their meals), and bear a glassy-eyed expression similar to my dog when she's blissed out.
- Pythons feel like one really long, intense, chilly muscle and get freakin' heavy after 10 minutes. Also, they have two three-inch-long vestigial legs that retract into their bodies near the tail.
- My job, again, rocks.

Yesterday some pals and I were discussing the marvelousness of How Did We Find Out About Vitamins? and started to get into some of the other dubious treasures I've found while weeding. So, without further ado, here are a few more tales (and photos!) from the weed patch.

Kids still dream of being firefighters, police officers, teachers, doctors, astronauts... while other careers just don't have the same cachet.

I love the enormous smiles that textile worker, carpenter, and secretary are wearing. You almost believe they're enjoying their work. (Actually, the carpenter does look like she's having fun! And props to Children's Press for going against gender stereotypes and showing us a female carpenter.)

Dated books in our collection? I have no idea what you're talking about.

My next thought was obviously what about East German food and drink? Gruel, my friend S. said with certainty. Definitely gruel.

Speaking of dated, I bet you can't guess what decade this little beauty—which will teach you how to make a peasant dress, draw-string blouse, and dashiki—was published in.

Oh, wait, you guessed the sweet seventies? You're absolutely right. My bad.

Sometimes the datedness is cringe-worthy.

Food the Indians "gave" us. Indian corn and other "gifts." Because the Indians were so happy to see "us" (for of course we readers are ethnically European), they showered "us" with gifts and then disappeared off the face of the earth, don't you know.

This one, on the other hand, makes me laugh. The headband! The puffy vest! The creased-brim trucker hat! The roller skates! Yes, dear readers, the year is 1983.

This is actually a gem of a book. Aimed at latch key kids, it's a treasure trove of information for anyone living independently. Time management? Blackouts and lockouts? Plumbing emergencies? First aid? Cooking? Laundry? Unfortunately, it is still quite dated (I don’t know about you, but my local grocery store doesn’t let me charge things to my family’s monthly account) and will probably have to go.

Sometimes you’ve got a book chock-full of fun and fascinating information, but there’s something about the title that’s just…how should I put this…a little off-putting.

Sure, I think it’s fun and exciting and eco-friendly to grow yams and alfalfa at home using compost scraps. But something about that word “garbage” conjures up images of dirty diapers, moldy pork chops, and rotten milk, and I lose my appetite. (That said, I’m keeping a copy of this book, in the hopes that someone will be able to see beyond the title.)

Then there are times when, no matter how enticing you try to make the subject matter sound, the reader just ain't gonna buy it.

Yes, I know the earliest known writing was done on clay tablets. That’s wonderful. Humans have lived in clay houses, eaten from clay vessels, made beautiful art from clay—wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. But I’m sorry, this book looks dry as dust.

In closing, I want to say one word to you. Just one word. Listening?

Cake Wrecks currently tops my list of humor blogs. If I am ever lacking a smile, I know I can find one over there. While six days a week the blog focuses on decorating disasters of various flavors, Sundays are reserved for truly beautiful, amazing cakes.

This Sunday, the theme is cakes inspired by children's books. The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Where the Wild Things Are, Good Night, Moon... My favorite, however, is this one inspired by The Poky Little Puppy:

Yes, I'd like that sweet little puppy to go roly-poly, pell-mell, tumble-bumble into my mouth, please... when I'm finished admiring all the clever details.

My own mother was quite the cake decorator back in the day, and my first two birthday cakes were both inspired by children's books, too. I don't seem to have a photo of the Jemima Puddle-Duck cake, but here's Raggedy Ann and me on my first birthday:

Let’s be honest I’m not quite twenty years old, witch means if had million dollars i would probably spend it all on what some people would consider pointless things. I would most likely not invest the money or try to live off the interest, what i would do is take it and have an amazing time with a couple of my closest friends. Of course i would help my parents out a little bit, I definitely ow them that much.

After that was done well then i party , haha!

1. Go sky diving, always wanted to do it.

2. Drive race-car at a super speedway, and definitely race some people!

3. Get my pilots license , so cool to fly a plan

4. Of course I’d end up buying a car, witch one I haven’t decided yet.

5. Make a point to travel all around the world, So awesome to see every country, and I’d like to do it by backpacking , see it the way it is.

6. By more lottery tickets… a lot more

7. Go to professional mountain biking clinic

Image via Wikipedia

8. Front row seats to these bands, Metalica, Tragically Hip, David Wilcox, Three Days Grace, Nickel back, Disturbed, Foo-fighters, and that’s just a few.

9. Buy a mac-book, just because ill actually be able to afford for once.

10. Go on a cruise ( I’ve never been on one).

11. Take horse riding lessons.

12. Ride the all the biggest and fastest Roller Coasters in the world!dr

13. Do what ever else came to mind.

And when I look back at where all the money went, just smile and enjoy the rest of my life because its the experiences that count the most. 

Let’s be honest I’m not quite twenty years old, witch means if had million dollars i would probably spend it all on what some people would consider pointless things. I would most likely not invest the money or try to live off the interest, what i would do is take it and have an amazing time with a couple of my closest friends. Of course i would help my parents out a little bit, I definitely ow them that much.

After that was done well then i party , haha!

1. Go sky diving, always wanted to do it.

2. Drive race-car at a super speedway, and definitely race some people!

3. Get my pilots license , so cool to fly a plan

4. Of course I’d end up buying a car, witch one I haven’t decided yet.

5. Make a point to travel all around the world, So awesome to see every country, and I’d like to do it by backpacking , see it the way it is.

6. By more lottery tickets… a lot more

7. Go to professional mountain biking clinic

Image via Wikipedia

8. Front row seats to these bands, Metalica, Tragically Hip, David Wilcox, Three Days Grace, Nickel back, Disturbed, Foo-fighters, and that’s just a few.

9. Buy a mac-book, just because ill actually be able to afford for once.

10. Go on a cruise ( I’ve never been on one).

11. Take horse riding lessons.

12. Ride the all the biggest and fastest Roller Coasters in the world!dr

13. Do what ever else came to mind.

And when I look back at where all the money went, just smile and enjoy the rest of my life because its the experiences that count the most. 

If you’re like most people, you’ve had many different hobbies in your life. Some of them were athletic, some were intellectual, and others are probably best left unsaid. But if you’re like me, you’ve probably come to notice that nearly any hobby you might choose suffers from one critical weakness:

The presence of other people always screws them up. 

It doesn’t matter if you are hiking, rock climbing, playing Axis and Allies, or what.  If it involves other people, there is always at least one idiot who won’t take it seriously, or always has to ‘win’, or for some reason or other makes you want to kick their head in. In relationships this is true as well, but that’s another article.

So anyway, it’s 2009, and the problem of finding good entertainment is worse than ever. We’re in a depression, and can’t afford anything fun. Doing things outside is dicey, since a lot of us live in areas where the weather is terrible most of the time, and even when the weather is good, people on the street will beat you senseless and rob you. Not because those people need the money, but because it’s like saying hello – at least here in Wilmington, and where you live probably isn’t too much different. 

It’s hell. So under circumstances like this, what do you do to entertain yourself that is safe, cheap, and involves as little human interaction as possible?

Why, there’s only one thing you can do… go back to your roots, acquire a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons, and play it by yourself!

Why is this Hobby Awesome?

1. Every guy with even the slightest bit of imagination, deep inside, loves the concept of Dungeons and Dragons. Even if you don’t like fantasy, you get to kill things, take their crap, and face no consequences. Even most women would like the experience if they really gave it a try. Well, probably not. Screw them.

2. Rolling dice, writing stuff down, and having some interest in doing so will take you back in time if you’re over 30. You’ll feel like you’re 11 again. If you’re under 30 and have spent some time being broke, it might do the same.

3. You’ll get to use your imagination, which does not get exercised at all by computer games (except for roguelikes which you also need to play, if you haven’t already). With a pen and paper experience, you can picture the damp, dark hallways and imagine the groups confusion when surprised by some giant, nasty beastie. If you want to get all nerdy about it, you can even maintain a history of what your individual characters accomplish, so that they get some depth over time and take on some life.

4. It’s free and you can do it anywhere as long as you have a flat surface and your materials. You don’t even need electricity. As long as you have light, you can do it in a basement while drinking tea, for chrissake. Any hobby which can be performed in a basement with a cup of tea next to you is Win.

Why wouldn’t I want to tell anyone that I do this?

1. It’s Dungeons and Dragons, and you’re probably a reasonably functioning adult. You not only will get laughed at, you will also become re-acquainted with another activity that you indulged in as a kid – getting your ass kicked by people who are bigger than you are. And that’s just the men… all that is nothing compared to how girls will treat you.

2. It’s an activity which is designed for more than one person, and you’re doing it by yourself. Something like that never looks good. Does having a tea party by yourself look good? Does playing football by yourself look good? No, it doesn’t. So stay quiet.

3. You’re going to be playing a version of Dungeons and Dragons which went out of print about 20 years ago (I’ll get into why later). It means that even game nerds, who are on the absolute bottom of the social totem pole, will spit on you because they will not consider you to be relevant.

Wow! Playing a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons by myself sounds Awesome as long as I don’t tell anyone! How do I do it?

You need the following materials:

First Edition D&D Players Handbook, Dungeon Masters Guide, and Monster Manual (All available on E-Bay for about $40 total)

Dice which have the following number of sides: (4, 6 (get 3 of them), 8, 10 (get 2 of these), 12, and 20). They should be available at your local gaming store for about $5 total. Yes, they still have gaming stores if you look. They’re like peep shows… the people who have that need, know where to go to fulfill it. And just like peep shows, you’ll see a lot of awkward, pasty looking men scuttling out of the front door with brown paper bags under their arms. Don’t look anyone in the eye.

A table, a pencil, some paper, and a room where you can be sure that no one will walk in on you. Wherever you go to look at porn is probably the ideal place for something like this, too.

Some randomly generated dungeons which can be found at http://donjon.bin.sh/d20/dungeon/. The resulting dungeons are created for a rule set which is much newer than yours will be, but it’s easy enough to create house rules on any monsters/experience points which are not covered specifically in the dungeon descriptions. Commercial dungeons made for solo adventures are also OK, but there aren’t many of them and a disproportionate amount of them suck.

A critical hit table which can be found here:http://www.angelfire.com/dragon3/vinifera/critical_hit_table_2e.pdf . What that will do is, if an attack against a monster (or against you) is really, really successful, it can result in an arm being sliced off or something – which adds to the flavor big time.

Then play away, Dungeon Master! Don’t read the room descriptions, just move around the map and read each description as you enter. If a room contains a secret door or hidden treasure, roll a 6 sided die for every party member – if you roll a one, the door or treasure is detected. Create groups of at least 8 characters, because with bad luck and critical hits, the mortality rate will be high.

Warnings

Dungeons and Dragons has a lame reputation for a reason. If there is anything you take from all this, read the following and be sure to remember it well!

First of all, I am not talking about playing D&D in a group. Do not finish this article then run out and join the first pack of neckbeards that you can find. You will suffer, and everyone around you will suffer, and the most tragic aspect of it all will be that it could have been avoided.

Let me explain:

D&D was originally based on miniature war gaming. When it was first conceived of, play was 99% built around the idea that you go into some dark hole, indiscriminately kill monsters who are all ugly and all bad, become more skilled, then crawl into another dark hole to apply what you learned in the last one. Simple, right? It’s more than simple, it’s Awesome. In fact, everything should work like that. Life would be much shorter, but it would be interesting and have some sort of meaning.

However, over time, the group game evolved away from that idea. Nowadays, the average D&D player is even more poorly adjusted to society than I am. They don’t like fighting monsters unless the odds overwhelmingly favor them. They throw fits if their characters die, and worst of all, they enjoy going into imaginary towns and posturing in front of imaginary villagers. This causes conversations that are so lame, so ridiculous, that they defy description. For example, once in a while you’ll get some guy who wants his character to get laid, so he sits in a tavern and tries and get with some buxom tavern wench who is, of course, being played by a another neckbeard who is sitting on the other side of the table behind a cardboard screen. Neither the person playing the male character or the one playing the buxom wench has any experience with women and dating. The banter at the table goes like this:

Keith: “OK Seth, so you go into a tavern and sit down. This girl comes over to you and she’s got really big boobs and long black hair… ummm… and she stands close to you and she’s like, ‘Hey’.”

Seth: “What’s her comeliness?”

The crackling sound of rolling dice issues from behind the cardboard screen. I am seated at the middle of the table between the two neckbeards and look down at my hands with a grim expression, since I know how this story will end. I set my lips into a tight line and begin using the dice in front of me to build little towers, in an effort to ignore the conversation.

Keith: “15. No, she’s hotter than that, like 16, 17.”

Seth (blushing): “Dayummmmmm! Hehehehe. OK, so I say ‘hey’.”

Keith (as Buxom Wench): “Hey… ummm… you’re really hot. What’s your name?”

Seth (in his deepest voice): “I am Lord Comforter, prince of Down and hero of Qwertyuiop, and I am at your service!

Seth again: “Hey Keith, I like, lean over and press up against her boob to let her know I like her.”

Keith (giggling and blushing): “OK. So she presses back and leans over so you can see down her dress and then she’s like, ermm… That’s a big sword you have there. Do you have any other.. ummmmmmmmmm…. weapons?”

Seth (flustered): “Well, I have this bow and erm, a magical war hammer, and ermmmmm… ”

Keith (blushing so hard that he can barely talk): “No, Seth, she didn’t mean it like that. She meant it like…”

The conversation is broken by the sound of breaking glass. I have just smashed a bottle on the edge of the table, and am waving the jagged end at the other players with a wild gleam in my eye. Again.

Me: “For the love of God… that’s enough. Stop. OK? You need to stop. I will kill you both!”

10% of group Dungeons and Dragons is enjoyable. The rest consists of interactions just like that and you will end them just like I do, by threatening to kill people and being 100% serious about it. Where I’m going with all this is that while playing on your own is awesome, playing in a group is not the same experience.

Second, I am not talking about playing a new version of Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I know you’re by yourself, but show some self-respect and play like a man. You want an old as hell version, with rudimentary character classes, rules that are simple and written by guys who would have done so for free, and no character motivation other than a desire to clean out random dungeons, kill stuff, and get more powerful. It’s that, or it’s nothing at all. Role playing and using exotic characters smacks of having a tea party with dolls, and you will have none of it if you want to have a Socially Frowned Upon hobby that is Awesome and not one that sucks.

So that’s it. You are now ready to play a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons in the most Awesome way possible – one that involves no kind of interaction at all with other people. Now get out there, cover a table with weird looking dice, homemade character sheets, and some crude rulebooks that are at least 25 years old, and get to it! 

And don’t tell anyone.