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Lorax Thursday!

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Some Legend of Korra for your afternoon.

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From the Toy Box, Ltd Gallery 

I’m so excited to announce that I’ll be participating in Ltd Art Gallery Seattle’s show “From the Toy Box”. It’s my first piece in a gallery and I was lucky enough for Ltd to choose my illustration for the poster representing some really, really, REALLY awesome talent! I’m so honoured to be in this show amongst these fantastic artists. You can see the event here:http://www.facebook.com/events/769836919741028 and if you’re in Seattle and happen to go, I’d love to hear about it!

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May Contain Spoilers

Review:

I was drawn to The Seduction Game because of the author.  I read Emma Shortt’s Waking Up Dead and loved it.  Zombies, running for your life, and falling in love – what a combo!  It usually always works for me.  Then I saw that she wrote a contemporary romance, and I thought – what the heck!  I will read it as I wait for the next book in her zombie series!

 

I enjoyed The Seduction Game mostly because protagonist Kate is a certified nerd.  She’s a sci-fi fan, dabbles in game design, and soups up computers for a living.  When the businesses surrounding her computer repair shop start selling out to a real estate developer, she thinks her life is ruined.  Certainly her business has been financially dinged by the dearth of activity around her place, so she blames Will Thornton for her current anxiety.  She refuses to sell, and is harassed by Will’s right hand man, sleazebag Chris.  He keeps threatening her, making her even more determined to never sell her building to them.

Will has just returned from the UK, and he’s concerned that there is one holdout in his newest development.  He can’t begin the project until Kate sells because her shop is smack dab in the middle of the project.  He’d been assured by Chris that she was willing to sell, only to change her mind because she wanted more money.  Will decides to approach Kate himself to see why she changed her mind.  One look at the pretty geek, however, and he’s smitten.  She’s cute and quirky and a lot of fun to be around.  Bowing under pressure to proceed with his project, though, he wonders if he can seduce her into selling.  Shame on you, Will!  Though he is bothered by a guilty conscious, the fact that he ever considered that in the first place didn’t win him any brownie points from me!

Kate is socially awkward, and she usually avoids social situations. She’d rather stay home and work on her clients’ computers, play video games, or have marathon sessions watching her favorite TV shows and movies.  Will makes her uncomfortable from the start, but with the insistent prodding of her best friend and employee, Meg, she allows him to explain his vision for the building project to her.  As she spends more time with him, she can’t help but feel even more attracted to him.  He’s handsome, nice, and fun to be around.  But is he really interested in her, or is interested in convincing her to sell her building to him?

Kate is a victim of low self-esteem, and she’s still mourning the death of her parents.  After losing the family home years ago, the only thing she has left of them is the building that currently houses her business, with the tiny living space above the shop.  The building is old, but she’s determined to hang onto it, fight for it tooth and nail.  It is her safe zone, the only place she feels comfortable being herself.  I understood her reluctance to sell and put her past behind her; moving on for her meant saving goodbye to her parents all over again.  However, Will made her an offer that she would have been a fool to turn down.  As she begins to buy into his vision for the project, and the jobs and affordable housing the mixed use project would bring, she begins to question her reasons for not selling.  Plus, there’s that undeniable attraction she has for him, and she wants to see if it would go anywhere without the building standing between them.

The side story with Chris, Will’s brother-in-law, was a little too predictable, and there were times when Kate seemed too immature for her age, but overall, The Seduction Game is fast and fun read.  Now if only it had zombies…

Grade:  B/B-

Review copy provided by publisher

From Amazon:

When millionaire bad boy, Will Thornton, tries to buy computer-geek Kate Kelly’s building out from under her, she refuses to sell. Will might be uber rich, and super successful but she won’t be bullied. Trouble is, she didn’t expect Will to look like one of her fantasy heroes, or to make her heart beat a little too fast. She’s prepared to wait him out, but it’ll take every ounce of her self-control to win this game.

With millions of dollars on the line, Will is positive he can make Kate sell. He’s played the game better than anybody and charming is his middle name. Problem is, the snarky, geeky, computer-wiz is nothing like he imagined—impossibly cute and a match for him in every way.

The game is on but can two such radically different people come out winners in the game of seduction?

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I’ve noticed something strange about YA authors:  If you get a group of them together, they usually end up in a debate about who was the biggest geek in high school. They’re all vying for the title.

If any served as class officers or homecoming kings or queens, you’ll not hear of it. Of course,  the general adult populace seems intent on putting any distance between themselves and the “in groups” of high school. (For you high schoolers not considered popular, rejoice. The popular kids are in the minority. You will be spending the rest of your life amongst the majority.)

What strikes me as funny about this is that publishers continually express a desire for writers who are “in touch” with teens, who are “in the know” on the latest trends and social choices, who are–in short–“in.”  But most YA writers I know weren’t “in” in high school, less enough now as potbellied middle-aged people. And, in my mind, that’s probably a good thing.

Who better to write about teen angst than someone who has experienced a healthy dose? Who better to write about social interactions than someone who has spent a lifetime studying them?

Geeknicity helps. Who but a geek would be mulling over such things in middle age?

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Because my husband is a computer geek, guru, professional and more, I always have an able pro at my side when I have a disaster such as the one I had yesterday.

First of all he had convinced me to get a new extra external drive for back ups with loads of GBs.  I am glad he insisted.  Most of the time I remember to back up what I need as I work on a book or project.  I don't use automatic back up because I create so much in a day it would overload the external too quickly. I kinda like to pick and choose and try not to duplicate too much.

Yesterday was a lesson in being too lazy to do the normal back up.  Here's a clue...back up everything you think you will need before you do any UPDATES that your computer insists you need.


I was in the UPDATE mode when the computer told me to restart.  When I did, however, the computer would not start up. I did all the fixes that the Mac manual and professionals suggested and still ... nada.


When my husband started hearing the constant "chimes" from my mac as I tried all the book solutions and called my mac computer people... he came into the studio and began his magic.  He also asked why I didn't call on him first.  (Well that one was easy...he was repainting our guest bathroom.)

He was able to restart everything but he had to reinstall the operating system from scratch.  Here is the main reason for a substantial back up.... sometimes when you have to re install the OS on a mac you might lose all the data on your hard drive.  In this case my accomplished "geek in residence" was able to restore the OS without losing a bit of my work.  Had the work disappeared I would have lost the final images, the PDF and all the CMYK conversions I had just finished for a new book.

What did I learn.  Two things.
 1.) Back up is essential.  AND....
 2.) If you have an expert in the house, don't be afraid to ask for his help first.

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Me: Can you believe how scratched up my glasses are? It’s like looking through a screen door.

Him: Well, you’ve had them forever. You should get new ones.

Me: Nah. I don’t wear them enough to justify the expense.

Him: But you wear them every night after you take your contacts out!

Me: Yeah, but not for very long. You know. There are things I’ll spend money on, and things I won’t.

Him: Ah yes. Glasses don’t plug in.

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Thanks to Girl Detective’s handy chart, I know at last that I am a geek, not a nerd. At least, I don’t think I am socially inept. Not often, at any rate. OK, maybe sometimes. Like the famous family story of the first time I met Scott’s older sister. When Scott and I started dating, Susan was living in Somalia, so I was hearing about her for a good year before our paths crossed. Susan is seriously brilliant, beautiful, poised, and accomplished, and I was just this awkward college student with little-girl looks and bitten nails. I knew how much Scott respected his sister and felt somewhat intimidated about making a good impression.

Shortly after Susan returned from Africa, a friend’s wedding drew the family together. I knew I would be meeting Susan for the first time. When we arrived at the church, Scott dropped me at the front entrance and went to park the car. I entered the foyer and recognized a knot of women chatting quietly in one corner: Scott’s mother, two of his sisters-in-law, and—I knew her from photos—Susan. As I crossed the foyer I silently rehearsed what to say: Hi, Susan, I’m Lissa. Hi Susan, I’m Lissa. But just as I reached the group, Susan put out her hand and said warmly, “Hi, Lissa!”

Completely thrown off my mental script, I blurted, “Hi! I’m Susan!”

Perhaps we should go with 70% geek, 30% dork. Intelligence and social (in)eptitude may be fluctuating variables, but I think it’s pretty safe to say obsession is the constant.

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If you’re like most people, you’ve had many different hobbies in your life. Some of them were athletic, some were intellectual, and others are probably best left unsaid. But if you’re like me, you’ve probably come to notice that nearly any hobby you might choose suffers from one critical weakness:

The presence of other people always screws them up. 

It doesn’t matter if you are hiking, rock climbing, playing Axis and Allies, or what.  If it involves other people, there is always at least one idiot who won’t take it seriously, or always has to ‘win’, or for some reason or other makes you want to kick their head in. In relationships this is true as well, but that’s another article.

So anyway, it’s 2009, and the problem of finding good entertainment is worse than ever. We’re in a depression, and can’t afford anything fun. Doing things outside is dicey, since a lot of us live in areas where the weather is terrible most of the time, and even when the weather is good, people on the street will beat you senseless and rob you. Not because those people need the money, but because it’s like saying hello – at least here in Wilmington, and where you live probably isn’t too much different. 

It’s hell. So under circumstances like this, what do you do to entertain yourself that is safe, cheap, and involves as little human interaction as possible?

Why, there’s only one thing you can do… go back to your roots, acquire a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons, and play it by yourself!

Why is this Hobby Awesome?

1. Every guy with even the slightest bit of imagination, deep inside, loves the concept of Dungeons and Dragons. Even if you don’t like fantasy, you get to kill things, take their crap, and face no consequences. Even most women would like the experience if they really gave it a try. Well, probably not. Screw them.

2. Rolling dice, writing stuff down, and having some interest in doing so will take you back in time if you’re over 30. You’ll feel like you’re 11 again. If you’re under 30 and have spent some time being broke, it might do the same.

3. You’ll get to use your imagination, which does not get exercised at all by computer games (except for roguelikes which you also need to play, if you haven’t already). With a pen and paper experience, you can picture the damp, dark hallways and imagine the groups confusion when surprised by some giant, nasty beastie. If you want to get all nerdy about it, you can even maintain a history of what your individual characters accomplish, so that they get some depth over time and take on some life.

4. It’s free and you can do it anywhere as long as you have a flat surface and your materials. You don’t even need electricity. As long as you have light, you can do it in a basement while drinking tea, for chrissake. Any hobby which can be performed in a basement with a cup of tea next to you is Win.

Why wouldn’t I want to tell anyone that I do this?

1. It’s Dungeons and Dragons, and you’re probably a reasonably functioning adult. You not only will get laughed at, you will also become re-acquainted with another activity that you indulged in as a kid – getting your ass kicked by people who are bigger than you are. And that’s just the men… all that is nothing compared to how girls will treat you.

2. It’s an activity which is designed for more than one person, and you’re doing it by yourself. Something like that never looks good. Does having a tea party by yourself look good? Does playing football by yourself look good? No, it doesn’t. So stay quiet.

3. You’re going to be playing a version of Dungeons and Dragons which went out of print about 20 years ago (I’ll get into why later). It means that even game nerds, who are on the absolute bottom of the social totem pole, will spit on you because they will not consider you to be relevant.

Wow! Playing a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons by myself sounds Awesome as long as I don’t tell anyone! How do I do it?

You need the following materials:

First Edition D&D Players Handbook, Dungeon Masters Guide, and Monster Manual (All available on E-Bay for about $40 total)

Dice which have the following number of sides: (4, 6 (get 3 of them), 8, 10 (get 2 of these), 12, and 20). They should be available at your local gaming store for about $5 total. Yes, they still have gaming stores if you look. They’re like peep shows… the people who have that need, know where to go to fulfill it. And just like peep shows, you’ll see a lot of awkward, pasty looking men scuttling out of the front door with brown paper bags under their arms. Don’t look anyone in the eye.

A table, a pencil, some paper, and a room where you can be sure that no one will walk in on you. Wherever you go to look at porn is probably the ideal place for something like this, too.

Some randomly generated dungeons which can be found at http://donjon.bin.sh/d20/dungeon/. The resulting dungeons are created for a rule set which is much newer than yours will be, but it’s easy enough to create house rules on any monsters/experience points which are not covered specifically in the dungeon descriptions. Commercial dungeons made for solo adventures are also OK, but there aren’t many of them and a disproportionate amount of them suck.

A critical hit table which can be found here:http://www.angelfire.com/dragon3/vinifera/critical_hit_table_2e.pdf . What that will do is, if an attack against a monster (or against you) is really, really successful, it can result in an arm being sliced off or something – which adds to the flavor big time.

Then play away, Dungeon Master! Don’t read the room descriptions, just move around the map and read each description as you enter. If a room contains a secret door or hidden treasure, roll a 6 sided die for every party member – if you roll a one, the door or treasure is detected. Create groups of at least 8 characters, because with bad luck and critical hits, the mortality rate will be high.

Warnings

Dungeons and Dragons has a lame reputation for a reason. If there is anything you take from all this, read the following and be sure to remember it well!

First of all, I am not talking about playing D&D in a group. Do not finish this article then run out and join the first pack of neckbeards that you can find. You will suffer, and everyone around you will suffer, and the most tragic aspect of it all will be that it could have been avoided.

Let me explain:

D&D was originally based on miniature war gaming. When it was first conceived of, play was 99% built around the idea that you go into some dark hole, indiscriminately kill monsters who are all ugly and all bad, become more skilled, then crawl into another dark hole to apply what you learned in the last one. Simple, right? It’s more than simple, it’s Awesome. In fact, everything should work like that. Life would be much shorter, but it would be interesting and have some sort of meaning.

However, over time, the group game evolved away from that idea. Nowadays, the average D&D player is even more poorly adjusted to society than I am. They don’t like fighting monsters unless the odds overwhelmingly favor them. They throw fits if their characters die, and worst of all, they enjoy going into imaginary towns and posturing in front of imaginary villagers. This causes conversations that are so lame, so ridiculous, that they defy description. For example, once in a while you’ll get some guy who wants his character to get laid, so he sits in a tavern and tries and get with some buxom tavern wench who is, of course, being played by a another neckbeard who is sitting on the other side of the table behind a cardboard screen. Neither the person playing the male character or the one playing the buxom wench has any experience with women and dating. The banter at the table goes like this:

Keith: “OK Seth, so you go into a tavern and sit down. This girl comes over to you and she’s got really big boobs and long black hair… ummm… and she stands close to you and she’s like, ‘Hey’.”

Seth: “What’s her comeliness?”

The crackling sound of rolling dice issues from behind the cardboard screen. I am seated at the middle of the table between the two neckbeards and look down at my hands with a grim expression, since I know how this story will end. I set my lips into a tight line and begin using the dice in front of me to build little towers, in an effort to ignore the conversation.

Keith: “15. No, she’s hotter than that, like 16, 17.”

Seth (blushing): “Dayummmmmm! Hehehehe. OK, so I say ‘hey’.”

Keith (as Buxom Wench): “Hey… ummm… you’re really hot. What’s your name?”

Seth (in his deepest voice): “I am Lord Comforter, prince of Down and hero of Qwertyuiop, and I am at your service!

Seth again: “Hey Keith, I like, lean over and press up against her boob to let her know I like her.”

Keith (giggling and blushing): “OK. So she presses back and leans over so you can see down her dress and then she’s like, ermm… That’s a big sword you have there. Do you have any other.. ummmmmmmmmm…. weapons?”

Seth (flustered): “Well, I have this bow and erm, a magical war hammer, and ermmmmm… ”

Keith (blushing so hard that he can barely talk): “No, Seth, she didn’t mean it like that. She meant it like…”

The conversation is broken by the sound of breaking glass. I have just smashed a bottle on the edge of the table, and am waving the jagged end at the other players with a wild gleam in my eye. Again.

Me: “For the love of God… that’s enough. Stop. OK? You need to stop. I will kill you both!”

10% of group Dungeons and Dragons is enjoyable. The rest consists of interactions just like that and you will end them just like I do, by threatening to kill people and being 100% serious about it. Where I’m going with all this is that while playing on your own is awesome, playing in a group is not the same experience.

Second, I am not talking about playing a new version of Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I know you’re by yourself, but show some self-respect and play like a man. You want an old as hell version, with rudimentary character classes, rules that are simple and written by guys who would have done so for free, and no character motivation other than a desire to clean out random dungeons, kill stuff, and get more powerful. It’s that, or it’s nothing at all. Role playing and using exotic characters smacks of having a tea party with dolls, and you will have none of it if you want to have a Socially Frowned Upon hobby that is Awesome and not one that sucks.

So that’s it. You are now ready to play a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons in the most Awesome way possible – one that involves no kind of interaction at all with other people. Now get out there, cover a table with weird looking dice, homemade character sheets, and some crude rulebooks that are at least 25 years old, and get to it! 

And don’t tell anyone.

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If you’re like most people, you’ve had many different hobbies in your life. Some of them were athletic, some were intellectual, and others are probably best left unsaid. But if you’re like me, you’ve probably come to notice that nearly any hobby you might choose suffers from one critical weakness:

The presence of other people always screws them up. 

It doesn’t matter if you are hiking, rock climbing, playing Axis and Allies, or what.  If it involves other people, there is always at least one idiot who won’t take it seriously, or always has to ‘win’, or for some reason or other makes you want to kick their head in. In relationships this is true as well, but that’s another article.

So anyway, it’s 2009, and the problem of finding good entertainment is worse than ever. We’re in a depression, and can’t afford anything fun. Doing things outside is dicey, since a lot of us live in areas where the weather is terrible most of the time, and even when the weather is good, people on the street will beat you senseless and rob you. Not because those people need the money, but because it’s like saying hello – at least here in Wilmington, and where you live probably isn’t too much different. 

It’s hell. So under circumstances like this, what do you do to entertain yourself that is safe, cheap, and involves as little human interaction as possible?

Why, there’s only one thing you can do… go back to your roots, acquire a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons, and play it by yourself!

Why is this Hobby Awesome?

1. Every guy with even the slightest bit of imagination, deep inside, loves the concept of Dungeons and Dragons. Even if you don’t like fantasy, you get to kill things, take their crap, and face no consequences. Even most women would like the experience if they really gave it a try. Well, probably not. Screw them.

2. Rolling dice, writing stuff down, and having some interest in doing so will take you back in time if you’re over 30. You’ll feel like you’re 11 again. If you’re under 30 and have spent some time being broke, it might do the same.

3. You’ll get to use your imagination, which does not get exercised at all by computer games (except for roguelikes which you also need to play, if you haven’t already). With a pen and paper experience, you can picture the damp, dark hallways and imagine the groups confusion when surprised by some giant, nasty beastie. If you want to get all nerdy about it, you can even maintain a history of what your individual characters accomplish, so that they get some depth over time and take on some life.

4. It’s free and you can do it anywhere as long as you have a flat surface and your materials. You don’t even need electricity. As long as you have light, you can do it in a basement while drinking tea, for chrissake. Any hobby which can be performed in a basement with a cup of tea next to you is Win.

Why wouldn’t I want to tell anyone that I do this?

1. It’s Dungeons and Dragons, and you’re probably a reasonably functioning adult. You not only will get laughed at, you will also become re-acquainted with another activity that you indulged in as a kid – getting your ass kicked by people who are bigger than you are. And that’s just the men… all that is nothing compared to how girls will treat you.

2. It’s an activity which is designed for more than one person, and you’re doing it by yourself. Something like that never looks good. Does having a tea party by yourself look good? Does playing football by yourself look good? No, it doesn’t. So stay quiet.

3. You’re going to be playing a version of Dungeons and Dragons which went out of print about 20 years ago (I’ll get into why later). It means that even game nerds, who are on the absolute bottom of the social totem pole, will spit on you because they will not consider you to be relevant.

Wow! Playing a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons by myself sounds Awesome as long as I don’t tell anyone! How do I do it?

You need the following materials:

First Edition D&D Players Handbook, Dungeon Masters Guide, and Monster Manual (All available on E-Bay for about $40 total)

Dice which have the following number of sides: (4, 6 (get 3 of them), 8, 10 (get 2 of these), 12, and 20). They should be available at your local gaming store for about $5 total. Yes, they still have gaming stores if you look. They’re like peep shows… the people who have that need, know where to go to fulfill it. And just like peep shows, you’ll see a lot of awkward, pasty looking men scuttling out of the front door with brown paper bags under their arms. Don’t look anyone in the eye.

A table, a pencil, some paper, and a room where you can be sure that no one will walk in on you. Wherever you go to look at porn is probably the ideal place for something like this, too.

Some randomly generated dungeons which can be found at http://donjon.bin.sh/d20/dungeon/. The resulting dungeons are created for a rule set which is much newer than yours will be, but it’s easy enough to create house rules on any monsters/experience points which are not covered specifically in the dungeon descriptions. Commercial dungeons made for solo adventures are also OK, but there aren’t many of them and a disproportionate amount of them suck.

A critical hit table which can be found here:http://www.angelfire.com/dragon3/vinifera/critical_hit_table_2e.pdf . What that will do is, if an attack against a monster (or against you) is really, really successful, it can result in an arm being sliced off or something – which adds to the flavor big time.

Then play away, Dungeon Master! Don’t read the room descriptions, just move around the map and read each description as you enter. If a room contains a secret door or hidden treasure, roll a 6 sided die for every party member – if you roll a one, the door or treasure is detected. Create groups of at least 8 characters, because with bad luck and critical hits, the mortality rate will be high.

Warnings

Dungeons and Dragons has a lame reputation for a reason. If there is anything you take from all this, read the following and be sure to remember it well!

First of all, I am not talking about playing D&D in a group. Do not finish this article then run out and join the first pack of neckbeards that you can find. You will suffer, and everyone around you will suffer, and the most tragic aspect of it all will be that it could have been avoided.

Let me explain:

D&D was originally based on miniature war gaming. When it was first conceived of, play was 99% built around the idea that you go into some dark hole, indiscriminately kill monsters who are all ugly and all bad, become more skilled, then crawl into another dark hole to apply what you learned in the last one. Simple, right? It’s more than simple, it’s Awesome. In fact, everything should work like that. Life would be much shorter, but it would be interesting and have some sort of meaning.

However, over time, the group game evolved away from that idea. Nowadays, the average D&D player is even more poorly adjusted to society than I am. They don’t like fighting monsters unless the odds overwhelmingly favor them. They throw fits if their characters die, and worst of all, they enjoy going into imaginary towns and posturing in front of imaginary villagers. This causes conversations that are so lame, so ridiculous, that they defy description. For example, once in a while you’ll get some guy who wants his character to get laid, so he sits in a tavern and tries and get with some buxom tavern wench who is, of course, being played by a another neckbeard who is sitting on the other side of the table behind a cardboard screen. Neither the person playing the male character or the one playing the buxom wench has any experience with women and dating. The banter at the table goes like this:

Keith: “OK Seth, so you go into a tavern and sit down. This girl comes over to you and she’s got really big boobs and long black hair… ummm… and she stands close to you and she’s like, ‘Hey’.”

Seth: “What’s her comeliness?”

The crackling sound of rolling dice issues from behind the cardboard screen. I am seated at the middle of the table between the two neckbeards and look down at my hands with a grim expression, since I know how this story will end. I set my lips into a tight line and begin using the dice in front of me to build little towers, in an effort to ignore the conversation.

Keith: “15. No, she’s hotter than that, like 16, 17.”

Seth (blushing): “Dayummmmmm! Hehehehe. OK, so I say ‘hey’.”

Keith (as Buxom Wench): “Hey… ummm… you’re really hot. What’s your name?”

Seth (in his deepest voice): “I am Lord Comforter, prince of Down and hero of Qwertyuiop, and I am at your service!

Seth again: “Hey Keith, I like, lean over and press up against her boob to let her know I like her.”

Keith (giggling and blushing): “OK. So she presses back and leans over so you can see down her dress and then she’s like, ermm… That’s a big sword you have there. Do you have any other.. ummmmmmmmmm…. weapons?”

Seth (flustered): “Well, I have this bow and erm, a magical war hammer, and ermmmmm… ”

Keith (blushing so hard that he can barely talk): “No, Seth, she didn’t mean it like that. She meant it like…”

The conversation is broken by the sound of breaking glass. I have just smashed a bottle on the edge of the table, and am waving the jagged end at the other players with a wild gleam in my eye. Again.

Me: “For the love of God… that’s enough. Stop. OK? You need to stop. I will kill you both!”

10% of group Dungeons and Dragons is enjoyable. The rest consists of interactions just like that and you will end them just like I do, by threatening to kill people and being 100% serious about it. Where I’m going with all this is that while playing on your own is awesome, playing in a group is not the same experience.

Second, I am not talking about playing a new version of Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I know you’re by yourself, but show some self-respect and play like a man. You want an old as hell version, with rudimentary character classes, rules that are simple and written by guys who would have done so for free, and no character motivation other than a desire to clean out random dungeons, kill stuff, and get more powerful. It’s that, or it’s nothing at all. Role playing and using exotic characters smacks of having a tea party with dolls, and you will have none of it if you want to have a Socially Frowned Upon hobby that is Awesome and not one that sucks.

So that’s it. You are now ready to play a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons in the most Awesome way possible – one that involves no kind of interaction at all with other people. Now get out there, cover a table with weird looking dice, homemade character sheets, and some crude rulebooks that are at least 25 years old, and get to it! 

And don’t tell anyone.

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After years of name calling Morton made it his life goal to get access to the button. So don't call him yellow, nerd, or geek; he will push the button. You ask me what button I speak of? I tell you, man, it is THE one.

10.5 x 5.5 Pen and ink, and digital color.

It has been awhile and it is good to be back.

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The new challenge is:

Nerd!

Give us your illustration of a nerd or a geek.

The "Old Me" challenge is over. The new challenge is "Cute Object" and ends on September 21, 2009. The "Cute Object" challenge continues for another week and ends on September 14, 2009.

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Before I read this wonderful collection of short stories, I hadn't stopped to think about all the different flavors of geeks there are. I can now share with you that in addition to science and math geeks, there are music geeks; gamer geeks; fantasy geeks; comic book geeks; Star Trek and Star Wars geeks; role-playing geeks; technology geeks; theater geeks; fan fiction geeks, etc.

Geektastic is edited by Holly Black and Cecil Castellucci and includes stories by YA authors I recognized such as Lisa Yee, Cynthia & Greg Leitich Smith, and John Green and those I did not recognize like Barry Lyga and Libba Bray.

Advance copy invited all readers "whether you're a former, current, or future geek, or if you just want to get in touch with your inner geek, Geektastic will help you get your geek on!"

In most cases, these can be described as coming-of-age stories. Each story addresses one or more of the issues people encounter as they grow into adulthood - wanting to belong but feeling different; finding joy in interests shared with a friend; gender role development; how much self to show to the world and how much to keep hidden; family challenges; evolving friendships; honor; trust; loyalty - all the biggies.

Some of the stories are more compelling than others, but they are all worth reading. If you're not a geek yourself, you probably know a geek. What all these stories have in common is the discovery that no matter what your area of interest, everyone wants the same things - to belong; to be recognized; to be valued.

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Who needs the bathroom mirror when you’ve got a built in camera on your laptop?

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Let me start by explaining how big of a geek I am.

I was one of the first of my friends to jump on that internet thing (will certainly fail), rely on e-mail as main source of communication (never last), and build myself a little thing called a web page (won’t be around for long). I’m what you call an “early adopter.” In twenty years I’ll be like Todd Rundgren or David Byrne, exploiting new technologies before my fans know they’re available.

Oh, and I’ll have fans.

I digress.

I learned HTML and a tiny bit of Java early on because I’m an impatient guy. I want a web page up NOW, not next Tuesday. So I searched Yahoo (pre-Google days) and taught myself how to code. It was fun, because I’m a geek and I do other insane things like make films one frame at a time. I even laughed at WYSIWIG editors because they were “the easy way out.”

Then I grew up.

Nowadays I love tech like Wordpress, Freshbooks, and AWeber. I’ve learned that “automated” and “template” are not curse words. I’ve now embraced the world of WYSIWIG (What You See Is What You Get, for the uninitiated). There was a tipping point when I decided that enough was enough, I wanted to spend more time being visually creative with my site and less time learning how to code things correctly. About the same time, my mother saw a copy of Freeway at the Apple store (I know, I know, my mother… shut up). She was itching to buy me something so I let her. I already had Dreamweaver with the Adobe Creative Suite, but I hadn’t even cracked it open. So I gave Freeway a whirl and created a new version of my web site.

Like any new app, I was at first befuddled by the menus, toolbars, key commands, windows, etc. Once I got into it and started seeing results, I was blown away. I’ve upgraded twice since then and I’m still loving it. However, I decided to combine my thoughts on Freeway itself and my review of Softpress’s latest version, Freeway 5 Pro (I’m using v 5.3.1 for this review).

Crack it Open

Installing Freeway on the Mac is pretty simple, as I would expect. By the way, I’m impressed by nice graphics on a software install because it usually means they don’t believe in afterthoughts on a product release. It reeks of careful planning and strategic branding, which I appreciate as a visually-oriented person. There’s also a very nicely formatted PDF help guide and I recommend doing the tutorials. I did it backwards (skipping them) but I probably would have learned more quickly that way.

Build Something

It’s pretty easy to get started building a site, even if you’ve never done it before. You can select templates for different themed sites if you prefer. I can see how it makes it easier to start, but the templates don’t appeal to me personally. If I wanted to get my 10-year old daughter building her web site, I would probably guide her towards a template. Savvy site builders will probably enjoy tinkering with a blank page to start.

I am the Master

If you’re familiar with master pages in PowerPoint or Keynote, then you already understand Freeway’s master page feature. The best use of Freeway is by choosing the CSS layout and using master pages. For example, I have a client who uses Freeway. I create his graphics (headers, icons, and such) and set up his pages for him based on a master. Then I just shoot him the necessary folders and Freeway source file so he can add his text, photos, or tweak things at will. If he gets stuck, I can guide him as long as he hasn’t messed with the master page.

Previewing and Uploading

Freeway has a nice preview feature. You can either preview your pages directly in the Freeway window (see also Improvements), or you can choose a browser and see it “live.” You can also upload the necessary files directly from within Freeway using the built-in FTP feature. Personally, I publish the site and upload my files using an FTP app, but I usually have other things I need to mess with on my site (client proofs, downloads, Wordpress stuff). I figure as long as I’ve got the hood open, I may as well clean the spark plugs.

Drag n Drop and Site Tweaks

Here we go. This is the number one, top-of-the-charts-with-a-bullet reason I love Freeway. Like I said, I’ve become more of a visual designer in recent years. One thing I like to do is create my site layouts in Adobe Illustrator. I can try things out visually and then figure out how to engineer them later.

When I found out that I could take the header I created in Illustrator and just drag the file right into Freeway, I was blown away. Seriously, astounded. This means that later, when my ever-changing creative mind goes wacky and I want to put a robot image in there instead of a pixie, all I have to do is tweak my Illustrator file and it automatically updates in Freeway. Then I just republish my site and it’s done.

As an artist with a gallery, I often go back in and update images on my site. This tool is just awesome for me.

I was also able to drag both the Quicktime movie of my demo reel and some Flash movies onto my animation page. A few control and quality settings and Bob’s yer uncle.

As an example of how quickly I can change something on my site, I recently decided to add a members club. In about four hours, I created a plan, set up the new pages, found some Actions (more on this later), inserted images, and had everything uploaded to my site.

In my world, I need to act quickly on these kinds of ideas and get back to illustrating and animating stuff. If I had to hand-code these updates, I would never do it. However, I should mention that because I have some hand-coding skills, I can look at the source file and at least understand where a trouble spot might be.

Meta and SEO

The buzz these days is SEO. It used to be that you would throw some keywords, a description, and a summary using META tags and you’d call it done. That’s still something you want to do and Freeway gives you an easy way to do it. However, that’s not the end. For a site to be truly searchable, you have to get key words and phrases integrated as part of your content.

As a visual designer, this is my main frustration. Without standards between browsers, my HTML text is going to look different on a Windows machine using IE than it will on a Mac using Safari, or an Ubuntu machine using Firefox. Using graphical text (users can’t select it in their browser), you have a lot more control over how your text will look across platforms. The rub is that search engines won’t find you with all graphical text, and HTML text is a crap shoot, unless you have several different machines to test on. There’s a section in the Freeway User Guide that states it succinctly: “…that’s the way life is with web design.”

Freeway gives you great options for choosing graphical or HTML text. I try to strike a balance between the two. One thing Freeway lets you do is go back and switch between graphical and HTML text in a block without changing any code. I can choose which text I think is important for search engines to pick up and which text I just want to control more closely.

Forms and Scripts

The time finally came when my site grew beyond the static brochure-type and I needed to make it more interactive (hence my new membership thingy).

The forms and actions included in Freeway 5 Pro are pretty handy. For example, I placed a Google map directly on my page with just a few settings to show where in the world Sparky HQ is. I figured it out in about five minutes after scrolling through the Actions panel for cool things I might want.

I also created PayPal Add to Cart buttons for the image licenses I sell on the site. Once I got the code from PayPal it was fairly easy to create the buttons. No graphic design necessary.

 

There’s a site called Actions Forge that’s specifically for creating and distributing Freeway Action scripts. At the time of this writing, there are 126 actions available, from rollover functions to password protection.

There are also options to insert markup language in your page. If you find a bit of code somewhere that you want to use, there are options for placing it (see also Tech Support). If you have no idea what I mean by markup language, then you probably won’t even use that feature. However, as your skills grow, you’ll discover it and love it.

 

Improvements

I’m sure that Softpress has an improved feature list on their web site and marketing materials. However, I specifically avoided looking for it because I thought it would be more fun to showcase the improvements that I noticed in my own work. Wasn’t that nice?

iPhone Support: The iPhone and Blackberry aren’t going anywhere. Handheld devices are just going to get better. Freeway has a new iPhone panel that helps you optimize your site for the mobile web.

Shape Menu: It’s small details like this that make my visual designer eyes perk up. My site has lots of rounded-corner boxes. When I want to make a shape in Freeway, I want it to be easy to manipulate. The updated shape menu makes this easier.

View Menu: I got used to the old way of previewing my pages in Freeway 4, but I wasn’t thrilled with it. Now the preview menu is right up top and easy to click. I preview my pages often, so this is a nice change for me. I can also access my master pages and link maps in the same bar, as if I were in a browser. For my efficiency, this small change is huge. Besides, it looks nicer.

Google Actions Suite: I mentioned Actions before, but this is new. I use Google Analytics and this integration is just awesome.

Blogger and MobileMe capability: I don’t use either of these services anymore, but I noticed they are available. Gives me hope for WordPress.

Stability: I used to get at least one crash per session in Freeway 4, but I put Freeway 5 through it’s paces and it seemed to hold up. 

User Guide: This just gets better with every version, as it should. If you’re new to creating web pages, the User Guide even has a section called, “The World Wide Web and Freeway.”

Tech Support

The Softpress web site has pretty good support options. The usual Knowledge Base, Manuals, contact stuff… simple. If I had to research something, it’s all there. The real test of support for me is the people.

If you recall my new member area project, I had chosen a password protect URL action from Actions Forge. It was easy enough to install and set up and when I tested it on my local machine, it looked like I was in business. However, when I uploaded the new pages to my domain server, I got… bupkis. Zero functionality. Oxford, we have a problem.

After doing some research and attempting to alter the code (geek), I decided to put in a support case. Joe from Softpress Support contacted me the next day and gave me some suggestions. Later I heard from Keith in Support who gave me more suggestions. He also gave me an option of sending him the Freeway file itself so they could take a look at it, which I did. As of this writing, they haven’t found the issue yet. Of course I need my issue resolved, but during the process it’s all about the people and their communication; Softpress Support does an excellent job.

Since I’ve seen the Action working on other web sites, I’m certain it’s an issue with my server or something I’m doing (or not doing) on my end. In the meantime, I found a similar javascript that I was able to implement quickly. I had members signing up and the password they were getting was useless, so I had to take care of those people before playing with the Freeway Action.

Did I mention I’m a geek?

Freeway is simply an excellent web-building tool. At different times I’ve thought about trying out Dreamweaver just to see how the other half lives, but then I move onto other projects that are more important. The thing is, Freeway lets me do everything I need to for my web site. As I’ve grown the site I’ve found new features that I hadn’t touched before. I tend to use things as I need them rather than explore every feature just because it’s there. So I’m confident that I know where to look for an action or feature when I want to do something totally new.

I’ll be using Freeway to maintain my site and build others, as well as recommend it to my clients for the foreseeable future.

Below are some screen caps from my recent site update:

 

 

 

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my first entry for Art Jumble

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deborah c johnson illustrations
www.deb-johnson.com

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By Liz Goulet Dubois
www.studiodubois.com/liz

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By Michelle Lana

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Anette Heiberg
www.wynlen.no

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