Coloring pages inspired by The Secret Garden!

I heart them.

Also at the Guardian: a cross-stitch pattern of Matt Smith.

(I had no idea they had a Craft section. Yet another RSS feed to follow. MY WORK IS NEVER DONE.)

As I always get a giggle out of Travis Jonker's One Star Review Guess Who posts, I figured I'd swipe the idea and post the occasional one-star Amazon review of a much-lauded YA title.

So, can you guess what book this disappointed reader is reviewing?:

According to my Kindle, I'm about 5% of the way through the book. I need someone to tell me if the style, the content, the dialogue, hell, if pretty much anything improves and starts to approach that which would normally pass as engaging composition. Because I'm just about to give up. I dove into this book without knowing anything about it, other than it is WWII historical fiction. After reading the first few pages I came to learn that a twelve year old girl has been captured by the Nazi's and is being subjected to the worst brutality. Those beasts are sharpening pencils in her general direction, causing painful pencil shavings to irritate her eyes! Forget waterboarding, these Nazi's are serious. They will take your knickers away!

Is it just the first couple of chapters that are like this? Does she start acting like an adult at some point? Does she ever stop feeling sorry for herself? At what point do you get over that hump of wishing she would just stop whinging and start to write an entry in her diary that reads like the words of a strong woman in a difficult situation instead of an agony letter to Teen Beat?

...have been announced, and the YA winner is Flesh & Bone, by Jonathan Maberry.

See the rest of the winners here, and the other YA finalists here!

...Alexander London letter, let's about-face and guffaw over the Smart Bitches' review of the Jude Deveraux, The Raider - Barbie® and Ken® Doll Giftset.

SO. MANY. PICTURES. DEPICTING. SO. MUCH. HILARIOUSNESS.

[View the story "Links, etc.: June 12-17." on Storify]

Head on over to Alexander London's letter at Dear Teen Me:

You didn’t kiss anyone for two years. When you got back to the states, you even dyed your hair back to brown. You stayed in a closet of your own making. You got angry and seethed in silence. You hid behind your eyes and watched reality happen to other people.

When you eventually did kiss a guy and let life open up to you, it really was all you hoped it would be and more. It wasn’t just the kiss or coming out, though that was part of it. It was realizing you could be your whole self.

Blubbering all over my desk.

...I wrote about Dianne K. Salerni's The Caged Graves, which I LOVED.

LOOOOOOOOOVED.

This is about the ongoing SFWA flap, though much of it could be applied to the article I linked to earlier today.

From Terrible Minds:

All this shit starts when we humans are tiny. I have a two-year-old son. Boys get the BLUE STUFF. Hard. Steely! Naval. Girls get the PINK STUFF. Soft. Squishy! Fleshy. Our son loves trucks. You think, “Oh, this is genetic. Boys are biologically attracted to boy things.” Until you see him playing with little girls and the girls are all like, “YEAH TRUCKS ARE AWESOME, MOTHERTRUCKER,” and that dashes that idea into itty-bits. Then you go to buy books and you see it translates there, too: the blue, the pink, the trucks, the dollies. So you realize, this boy/girl thing starts early in terms of writing and publishing. And that means it’s where you have to do some damage control early. Let your boy play with dolls. Let your girl read about trucks. Teach them early on to respect each other and everybody else. (AKA: “Hey, kid, don’t be an asshole.”)

And now I shall go out and read everything Wendig has written.

Which I'm pretty sure is a promise I've made before, but sometimes these things take time to stick.

Glamour in Glass: Glamourist Histories, #2, by Mary Robinette Kowal

I loved Shades of Milk and Honey, the first book in Kowal's Regency era fantasy series, and I mostly loved this one, too. Like, 95% loved it.

Pros:

I continue to adore the magic system: It's quiet and somewhat sedate, but in creative, inventive hands, allows for WICKED COOL USAGE.

I love that in addition to the fantasy, it works very much as historical fiction—Jane and Vincent are in Belgium for their honeymoon, and Napoleon figures in heavily—and as a romance.

More pluses: The language and the writing, the attention to detail and the pure, awesome geekery of the author. In the Author's Note—DO NOT MISS IT—Kowal talks about how she created a dictionary comprised of Jane Austen's books and ran her manuscript of Glamour and Glass against it. She researched the history of every single word that the dictionary didn't contain, and she lists some that surprised her (and some that she kept anyway). She also talks a bit about how her world diverges from our own, and about what anachronisms she knowingly included. (Which is so much cooler than a blanket "IT'S ALT-HISTORY, ANYTHING GOES!" attitude. Ahem. In my opinion, anyway.)

Cons:

You know that storyline where the heroine gets deliriously happily married and everything is awesome and so on BUT THEN she starts thinking OH NOES, MAYBE HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY REALLY LOVE ME? It's one of my least favorite storylines, and that's much of what goes on with the romance thread in Glamour in Glass. To be fair, Vincent is EXTREMELY withdrawn and irritable and distracted—which is especially bad considering they're on their honeymoon—so it's understandable that Jane would have those feelings, but it's not my fave. That is, of course, MY STUFF, and it totally works in terms of characterization—even drawing on the first book, because for various reasons, Jane doesn't have loads of confidence in herself as A Lovable Person—so really, unless you also dislike that storyarc, it's not much of a Con at all.

Also, while I love that the cover art incorporates bubbles (there's a whole important thread about using spheres of glamour), I can't help but feel that the model is WAAAAAY more conventionally attractive than Jane. I loved the cover art on the first book because I felt that it really captured that. Her dress, though, is BEAUTIFUL, and I have no beef whatsoever with it. Except that I don't own one.

Recommended to:

Fans of the first one, fantasy-loving fans of Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer, anyone who likes fantasy that really delves into the mechanics of magic systems, fans of any of the above who also have an interest in artists and their techniques.

Sapphique: Incarceron, #2, by Catherine Fisher

I finally, finally got around to the sequel to Incarceron! Finn is now outside the prison, but is not really any less of a prisoner: he's suddenly living in a world of strict social protocol and every misstep he makes acts to further convince everyone—including Claudia, who until now has been his strongest supporter—that he's an impostor, rather than a long-lost prince.

Meanwhile, Finn's allies within Incarceron are still searching for a way to escape: they're hunting for Sapphique's magic glove, which might not even exist... but the prison is working against them, and it wants to find a way to escape itself.

Pros:

Like the first book, the world-building is HUGE and RICH and DARK and COMPLEX. The cultures on the inside and the outside of Incarceron are distinctly different, but it's always clear that regardless of what side of the wall each character resides on, every single one of them is a prisoner in some way. Including Incarceron itself, which is a mindbleep and a half.

In addition to the world-building, the storyline is exciting, and the characters are worth caring about, the pacing is, like, BREAKNECK, and the whole thing is BANANAS in the best kind of way. Incarceron was super, but Sapphique was even better.

Cons:

Erm. None for me, though it's not going to be an across-the-board crowdpleaser: see above about the DARK and BANANAS.

Recommended to:

Fans of the first one. I wouldn't recommend it as a stand-alone.

_________________________________________

G&G: Amazon, Publisher.

S: Amazon, Publisher.

_________________________________________

Book source:

G&G: ILLed through my library.

S: ARC provided by the publisher a looooong time ago.

At the New Statesman:

Even picture books that are intended to appeal primarily to boys reflect the tastes of the mother or grandmother that will usually be buying them as well as the child they’re bought for. Picture book pirates are less prone to combat than their counterparts in other media, monsters and aliens less frightening, vehicles and machines less technically detailed. Elements of danger and threat are tamed or omitted altogether on the grounds of being unappealing or inappropriate. In short, picture books with boy-friendly themes tend to be cuter and tamer than similarly themed TV shows, films or video games.

So, on the one hand, I know that it would raise my hackles if an awards committee was comprised of all male judges.

On the other, I wanted to punch this article in the face. It's so, so entrenched in gender binarism and the idea that women are somehow incapable of appreciating books that incorporate elements of "combat, peril, villainy and technology". Barf.

No, I'm not pregnant.

(It seems that every single time I say that I have Big News, people immediately jump to that conclusion. So I figured I'd cut you all off at the pass this time.) 

The news is:

Earlier today, I was offered the position of Head Librarian at my town's public library, and I accepted.

I can't even express how happy I am about it: it's a library that the town's residents LITERALLY built themselves, and so the community is really actively invested in it, and I'm so excited and pleased that they are trusting me with it.

SO VAIR VAIR EXCITED AND PLEASED. 

Anyway, starting in early August, that's what I'll be up to in my library-life.

First item on the agenda? Building them a website.

Going forward? We shall see what we shall see, but I'm sure it will be awesomesauce unchained.

(I might sound somewhat blasé about it (for me), but I am SO. EXCITED. And, as Josh, Amber, my sister, Amanda, and a few others can attest, I've been so revved about the application/interview process, etc., that I've been a tad difficult to be around. So thanks to everyone for A) putting up with me and B) being so amazingly supportive. YAY!)

On her inspiration for Fudge's Turtle Incident:

Read it in a newspaper. No kidding -- a real toddler swallowed a tiny pet turtle. Wrote a picture book about it and got back great rejection letters. "Very funny but this would teach small children to swallow turtles." Great editor suggested writing a longer book (chapter book) and using that story as the last chapter.

On how to get kids to read:

If you want them to read my books don't tell them so. Maybe just leave around a paperback with a new cover and say, "I'm not sure you're ready for that."

On her favorite books as a child:

The Betsy-Tacy books by Maude Hart Lovelace. Still wonderful books.

And at one point she answered "Have you ever gotten high with Gordon Korman and hooked up?" with "Not yet."

Judy Blume, you rule.

Click on through for loads more!

Here's my favorite one, but check out the rest here:

(via Book Patrol)

Jodi Picoult's first YA novel—which she co-wrote with her daughter, Samantha van Leer—is $1.99 today.

I bought it, because A) I've never read a Jodi Picoult book, which seems vaguely silly as she's so popular with the teen demographic, B) even if I detest it, I'm out less than $2, and C) because of this. 

WIN WIN WIN!

[View the story "Links, etc.: June 10-11." on Storify]

As I always get a giggle out of Travis Jonker's One Star Review Guess Who posts, I figured I'd swipe the idea and post the occasional one-star Amazon review of a much-lauded YA title.

So, can you guess what book this disappointed reader is reviewing?:

[Title], by [author] is a book that does not deserve its Newberry. The story has a terrible plot, involving a girl named [heroine] who has a drunken father who is looking for a husband for her. She has some close calls and a big one with suitors, but is repetitive and sulky about her life. The entire story is written in diary form about her life, and it seems like something is going to happen, but nothing really does. [Heroine] really does not enjoy her life. She is mad that suitors are coming and just wants to be free. She sometimes drives you to insanity with her complaining. This book does not deserve its popularity, and it is not written in a suitable way. It is written with only one point of view [Heroine]'s so if your favorite character is not [Heroine] you are IN DEEP DO DO. You just never get someone else's opinion. The book only takes sides with the main character in arguments so it leaves you hanging. What does her father think? To bad, you will never know.

There is one positive about this book. The setting takes place in Briton in the Middle Ages on a farm. It was an exciting place, but in this book nothing happens. The topic of the book stays the same the whole time, so you only have to read to page 60 to know what happens, because in children's' books they all turn out the same. Go ahead and read the book if you feel like it, but remember if you don't like it I said dont read it.

Click on through for the answer!

*puts on Johnny Carson's turban*

I PREDICT...

...that this story will result in much hubbub.

Janet Gurtler's Who I Kissed is $1.99, and I totally bought it: I've read two of her other books and enjoyed them wholeheartedly.

It occurs to me that I've never written about her books, and I shall have to rectify that situation soon, but in the meantime, know this: she'd make a great pick for fans of YA contemporary romance/friendship stories a la Sarah Dessen, Deb Caletti, and Elizabeth Scott.

Me, too.

(I especially love this one-->)

Through June 21st, check out The Neighborhood School's Save the Library Auction for that and lots and lots of other stuff, including pieces by Maira Kalman, Sophie Blackall, Paul O. Zelinsky, Nancy Carpenter, Javaka Steptoe, Disney, Betsy and Ted Lewin, Emily Arnold McCully, Raina Telgemeier, Beth Krommes, Greg Pizzoli, and more.

PLUS, it's for a good cause:

Oh, it is ON like Bilbo's Song. The Neighborhood School's Save the Library Auction runs from June 10 (Maurice Sendak's birthday) to June 21, 2013, with proceeds going to The Neighborhood School to help save our beloved library. You can get one-of-a-kind art and autographed books from some of the greatest children's book artists working today, so alert the kids, buy new-baby gifts, decorate a child's room, find the perfect piece for your favorite hipster, and LET THE BIDDING BEGIN.

More items will be added throughout the auction.

From the Chicago Tribune:

Legendary author Judy Blume joined the fight against the book's removal from Glen Ellyn District 41, and maybe her clout helped turn the tide. School board members voted 6-1 Monday evening to reinstate the book.

...

Blume mentioned the Glen Ellyn controversy while appearing Sunday at the Printers Row Lit Fest, where she accepted the Tribune's Young Adult Literary Prize. Blume said she planned to donate the award's $5,000 prize to the National Coalition Against Censorship, which also opposes the book's removal, in the students' honor.

From NBC Chicago:

"In this ultra-connected age, young people face countless challenges and temptations. Books like "perks" help kids to anticipate what they will likely encounter," said Brett Cooper, a teacher at Hadley Junior High School, speaking in support of the book. "Parents may benefit, too, by reading the book, discussing it with their kids and contemplating alternative responses to similarly challenging circumstances."

Previously.

From Showbiz411:

 “Esiotrot” is tortoise spelled backwards. It’s also the title of a very popular 1990 Roald Dahl illustrated children’s story that involves a love story between two mature adults. And I can tell you that Dustin Hoffman and Dame Judi Dench are going to play the main characters. “Esiotrot” will film next month in England. Hoffman told me he’s a little nervous. “She’s Judi Dench!” But something tells me these two will hit it off famously.

(via 100 Scope Notes)

After all of the descriptions of Emily's 'red ropey hair' in the first book, the model on the cover doesn't really jive with the image of her in my mind. Ah, well. Anyway.

It could be argued that I was hard on the first two books in Kady Cross' Steampunk Chronicles. So in the interest of being all fair-minded and whatnot, I will say that they do have some attractive qualities:

• They're fast-paced and often quite exciting.
• While the characters haven't moved beyond their basic trope-types (see my column about the first one for more on that), they are mostly quite likable and enjoyable to be around. (I could do without Finley and Griffin, but I suspect that that's more due to a personality conflict on my part than on anything objective.)
• Cross' use of similes are generally entertainingly in keeping with the world and the genre: A sound like breaking ice followed as pressure from the outside pushed against the glass, demanding to get inside like a rowdy drunkard at a tavern door. (That one's a bit long for my tastes, but you get the drift.)
• There are rapid and regular switches in perspective, which speak to some amount of confidence in the reader's ability to keep up.
• Automatons are always cool, and there's a thread about What It Means To Be Human that will appeal to anyone who's spent far too much time combing through Data fanfic. (I ADMIT NOTHING.)

Fans of the first two books are likely to like this third installment which, as you've probably gathered by the cover art and the title, focuses mostly on Emily, the Girl Genius Who Can Control Automatons With Her Mind. She gets kidnapped by a Bad Robot (<--heh) who wants her to use her Mechanical Prowess to move the Machinist's brain out of his mostly-dead body and into a fancy new automaton-human hybrid.

It's an undertaking that, not-so-surprisingly, she has issues with beyond the whole abduction thing: bringing the Machinist back would be bad enough, but worse for soft-hearted Emily is the fact that the automaton-human hybrid is a sentient being whose mind, personality, and soul will be destroyed when her body is co-opted by the Machinist. (All of which also serves to allow Emily to come to terms with the sexual assault she survived back in Ireland.)

Yet again, for me, the major issue—beyond the lack of character development—is the repetitive language. Emily continues to 'wee' this and 'wee' that, which is grating, but once again, it was the eyebrows that killed me. I read The Girl with the Iron Touch in review copy form, so I double-checked the following quotes against the Google Books preview and the Amazon preview, and it looks to me that they all made it into the finished copy:

Jack arched a brow at her bad manners. (p. 37)

Mr. Isley arched a brow but wisely remained silent. (p. 51)

She arched a brow, and didn't care that he saw it. (p. 149)

Jack raised a brow at Sam. (p. 157)

Jack raised one brow ever so slightly as his gaze locked with hers. (p. 161)

Emily's heart skipped a beat even as her brow gave a dubious lift. (p. 170)

She arched a brow. (p. 180)

Emily arched a brow. (p. 206)

He arched a brow. (p. 247)

She arched a brow. (p. 256)

Finley arched a brow. (p. 299)

He arched a brow. (p. 321)

Now she was the one whose brow rose. (p. 321)

Griffin swore—the kind of language that made Finley arch a brow. (p. 326)

And, of course, keep in mind that I didn't count any of the 'lowering' or 'pulling together' or 'shooting up'. All in all, these characters expend more energy waggling their eyebrows around than you or I would while working out to a Jillian Michaels DVD.

So, there you have it: if that sort of thing drives you bananas, I'd say give the series a miss and wait for the (hopefully inevitable) CW show.

____________________________

Author page.

____________________________

Amazon.

Publisher.

____________________________

Book source: Review copy via Netgalley.

(via Marjorie)

...and I'm only a week late in linking up!

Rotters!

Carter Finally Gets it!

Grave Mercy!

Enchanted!

The False Prince!

I AM FROTHING WITH EXCITEMENT, AND I DON'T EVEN REALLY LISTEN TO AUDIOBOOKS!