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Viewing: Blog Posts Tagged with: humor, Most Recent at Top [Help]
Results 26 - 50 of 1,382
26. SkADaMo Day 15 (late)

chameleon

… they come and go, they come and gooooooo!

What is SkADaMo? Check it out here.


6 Comments on SkADaMo Day 15 (late), last added: 11/17/2014
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27. SkADaMo Day 15 (late)

chameleon

… they come and go, they come and gooooooo!

What is SkADaMo? Check it out here.


0 Comments on SkADaMo Day 15 (late) as of 11/17/2014 7:41:00 PM
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28. SkADaMo Day 14 (late)

Shrimpmunk

Someone’s gotta eat all those sea chestnuts.

If you’d like to know what SkADaMo is, check it out here.


2 Comments on SkADaMo Day 14 (late), last added: 11/17/2014
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29. SkADaMo 2014 Day 13

Macows

… or maybe Moocaws.
What do you think?

If you’re wondering what SkADaMo is, check this out.


7 Comments on SkADaMo 2014 Day 13, last added: 11/14/2014
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30. SkADaMo 2014 Day 12

Snark SkADaMo

Watch out for the snark. He can take a toe off!

What is SkADaMo? Check this out.


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31. The Fourteenth Goldfish, by Jennifer L. Holm | Book Review

The Fourteenth Goldfish is a clever novel that offers depth with humor while intersecting science and childhood in a memorable story perfect for sharing aloud with boys or girls.

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32. A taste of "A WEDDING" play - Jewish version


Just read a piece that Nia Vardalos is doing a movie sequel to "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". As much as I really enjoyed this film - I've seen it many times - my play, "A Wedding" which could be described as a Jewish equivalent, is as funny if not more. Here's a taste and scene out of the play to see what I'm talking about and see if you agree. It's part of one of my favorite scenes - but then they all are. Some of the formatting has been lost cut and pasting and transferring from Word.
 
THE SCENE: At the Greenberg house. The bride and groom's family are meeting for the first time for dinner. Lenor, mother of David, groom-to-be, is on the snobby side unlike his father Charles who is down to earth. Meanwhile, Sadie, mother of the bride, Rachel, is middle-class and in competition with Lenor while husband, Morty, is realistic and down-to-earth like Charles. Morty has done a lot more than taste the wine as his mother, Sylvia, arrives unannounced. The leg of a dining room chair is broken.
 
SADIE
 
Excuse me people…what kind of person visits at this time of night?
        
           SADIE EXITS                      

           SADIE re-enters with her mother-in-law, SYLVIA

 And here is the answer to that question

MORTY
(slurred speech)

Ma? Whad'ya doing here? I fought you were shtaying wiv Elaine until shummer

 SYLVIA

Can a mother visit her only son, without having to announce her arrival before? Maybe I should check into a hotel and come back tomorrow, since you have dinner guests. Are you drunk? My poor baby boy! See what living with you does to him, Sadie? The man has turned to liquor for escape. I warned you, Morty, what life would be like living with…her

SADIE

An excellent idea, Sylvia. Why don't you come back tomorrow…or maybe next month…next year? Never would even be better

MORTY

Don't talk shtupid! Shadie, put mom's shutecases in the rare shpoom. You've come jus' at the right time. You ate already?

SYLVIA

Your sister packed me a sandwich and fruit for the train but I finished that hours ago. Just make me some toast and a glass of tea and I'll go to my room until your company has left

MORTY

Nonshense! Rajel, go get a chair from the kitchen, for your…your… bubie. You heard our good news?

 SYLVIA

Does anybody tell me anything? Who am I anyway? Just a sick, old woman shipped from place-to-place, because nobody has room for me. Why should anyone share their news with me?

MORTY

Our Rachel here is… em-em-gaged to be marry, ma!

SYLVIA

Uh-huh… So, you couldn't have picked up the phone to tell me, Sadie? You forgot my phone number, maybe? After all,
…I'm onlythe grandmother. Why should you share a happy event with me? So, introduce me to your fiancey

RACHEL

David, this is Grammy Sylvia, my best friend in the whole world!

SADIE

And what am I? Chopped liver?

SYLVIA

Sadie dear, look at yourself as the pickled herring: always a hors d'oeuvre but never the main course. How many times have I told you that she always liked me better than you?

           SYLVIA hugs RACHEL

SADIE

Come again? Morty – you better tell her…

MORTY

Now ma, you know you shouldn't tease Sabie like that. You shtill ‘aven't tol' us why you here

SYLVIA

Your sister, Elaine, went on a cruise so I landed up here on your doorstep. That cheapskate husband of hers didn't even pay for my fare. I tell you – nobody has respect for the aged anymore. In my days…

SADIE

Will you be honoring us with your presence for a long time, she asked, afraid of the answer?

MORTY

She jus' got here f-fur crying out loud. You-you can shtay for has l-long has you wan, ma

                    
           MORTY gets up to get another drink and SYLVIA
           quickly takes his place

SADIE

Don't sit there ma!

SYLVIA

You want I should stand all night or maybe I should leave, better? I'm a weak, old woman…my legs don't hold me up any more. Oy! The pain! Starts in my big toe and travels all the way up my hip and stays there! Soon I'll need a wheelchair! Pain is my constant companion!

MORTY      

           Rushing over to pull chair away

 Trust me ma, you don't wanna shit on that

SADIE

Weak like a bull! Rachel honey, go get your grammy a chair from the kitchen. Morty sweetheart, you don't look comfortable. Wouldn't you prefer to drink…sit in your favorite armchair over there, so you can relax?

           RACHEL EXITS

MORTY

But…I wanna be able to…to…talk wid eberyone…

SADIE

I'm sure we can sacrifice your…witty observations of life, so that you can be comfortable!

           MORTY staggers to the armchair
                       
SYLVIA

The truth is you really don't want me to join your dinner party, do you. Don't worry 'bout old Sylvia. She'll watch television upstairs, all alone in her room, listening to everyone laughing and having a good time. Excuse me, people, for bothering you…it's past my bed time…just get me a glass for my teeth, Sadie, and I'll get out of your way

Starts to get up

MORTY

You know you're alwaysh welcome and you'll shtay 'ere to celbrate wid ush!

           RACHEL enters with chair; MORTY follows her

SADIE        

           Places TV tray in front of MORTY

MORTY Cont'd. Absolutely! There's nothing I love more than a visit from your mother. Almost as much as an appointment with the dentist. Set a place for your bubie, Rachel

MORTY
         
           Attempts to sit in armchair but jerks to an
           standing position, waving arms as he speaks

Shadie mape her besh dish tonight, ma. Roast ducky in orange sauce, wiv orange booze

SYLVIA

Duck? I couldn't possibly eat that! Too fat and it's bad for my cholester-ail

MORTY

Couldn't you gib her shomething else?

           MORTY teeters over to SADIE, tries to kiss
           her on the cheek but she pulls away

SADIE

Oh something springs to mind alright, but I could get arrested for homicide
RACHEL       

           Moves a chair in back of SYLVIA, who sits down

I'm sure you could find something for grammy, mom, couldn't you?

SADIE

I'll go check what I have in the fridge. How 'bout a cheese sandwich, ma?

SYLVIA

It's low fat, I hope?

           SADIE EXITS

…Where's your manners! Don't be so rude Morty and introduce me to your guests

           MORTY is drinking another glass of liquor

           at the bar

MORTY

Meet Dabid's parents, Lee-oree and Ch-Charmie Skybird

SYLVIA

So, what do you think of my granddaughter? Is she not a beauty?

LENOR

You have a lovely granddaughter, Sylvia. And what do you think of our David?

SYLVIA

Seems like a nice catch but he makes a living for my Rachel? She's used to good things!

LENOR

He's a corporate lawyer with a very good practice

SYLVIA

He's a partner in the firm, maybe?

LENOR

I'm sure that will happen in the future. After all – he's got all the right ingredients – a good family background…

           SADIE RE-ENTERS

SADIE

Has my mother in law been telling you all the family secrets? Here's your cheese sandwich, ma, with low-fat dressing, just like you asked. Now close your mouth…and enjoy!

SYLVIA

So where's the lettuce? Salad greens are good for my constipation

 LENOR

I'm definitely getting a migraine!

 SADIE
(bowing)

Any particular kind…iceberg,romaine…bib…? Your wish is my command your majesty…I mean, Sylvia

           SADIE EXITS

SYLVIA

Rachel sweetheart, bring me my small suitcase. I have all my medication inside

 
           SADIE RE-ENTERS

SADIE

So what pills are you taking these days or do you have one of everything?

SYLVIA

With all my conditions, they're so many. This is for my vangina and this is for…

SADIE

…thank you for sharing, but I'm sure our guests aren't interested in all your pills

SYLVIA

I'll be at the wedding as long as my vangina doesn't act up but you never know

MORTY

How c-come n-n-nobody tol' me you 'ad am…vam-gi-na? I-I'm the son!

SADIE

Do you feel up to cutting us some more duck, dear?

           MORTY stands up and teeters over to the table.
           He grabs the carving fork, thrusts it in the
           duck and hacks away

Morty…dearest, the duck is dead already! There's no reason to keep stabbing it!

           LENOR takes her napkin and wipes her dress.
           SADIE distributes plates of duck. When MORTY
           takes his portion, he lifts the plate to his
           lips and drinks; LENOR is horrified

MORTY

My Shabie makes the bes' gravy! You-you make dood guck, honey-bunny

 SYLVIA

Did I mention I mixed up my medication and ended up in the hospital emergency room? I could'a died, y’know! Rachel dear, bring me my blood pressure thing-ie like a good girl

 SADIE

No such luck - I mean, isn't it dangerous taking your own blood pressure? You could over pump and then… Why don't you let medo that for you?

 

           MORTY puts on TV and an
           ear-piercing screech comes from the TV.
           Everyone jumps in response

MORTY

Look ad dat! My faborit all-time mooooomie is playing on our big screen TV too – Night of the Living Dead. Reminds me of our supper tonight…just a joke

SADIE

Thank you for sharing, sweetheart

MORTY

Don'chu love zombies? They scare me shi-…

SADIE

- dearest, shouldn't you close the TV when we have guests?

MORTY

Why? We could all watch it togevver. Shabie – go make some popcorn for eberyone

 SYLVIA

Let him watch his movie! It bothers you? You always were a fun killer

SADIE

I think you should close the TV – NOW – and we'll discuss this later, dearest?

RACHEL

You start clearing the table, mom, and let me take care of grammy

 
           SADIE clears the table of dishes

SADIE

Morty dearest, be a darling and help me?

MORTY gets up but loses his balance and falls backward on the broken chair, which collapses under his weight

SYLVIA

You gave him that chair on purpose, didn't you Sadie? Don't think I'm not on to you trying to collect on his insurance. Your wife wants to trade you in for a new model, Morty. Better leave now while you still can!

SADIE

Oh God! She's over-medicated herself again

           SADIE EXITS

SYLVIA

You could have married Roseanne Epstein and her family would have given you the world. She was crazy for you, Morty, and I hear she's divorced from her third husband. It's never to late to find real love

RACHEL

You're such a kidder, grammy! She loves pretending to hate mom, don't you?

           SYLVIA looks away and doesn't answer
What a joker!

MORTY

(getting up from sitting on floor)

Shabie is my one and only true love! We m-may not be rich in dollars b-but my Sadie has a lot of sense. Get it? Dollars…cents…?

           SADIE re-enters holding a cake with sparklers
           on top

SADIE

Morty…sweetheart, why don't you give your mouth a rest…I mean, relax and watch your movie. You've had a long day but not half as long as this evening has been

CHARLES

Wow! That's some cake! I bet it tastes as good as it looks

MORTY

You outdone myself, my sweet bon-bon!

DAVID

You baked this for us? It must have taken you hours

SADIE

It was just a little something I whipped up

MORTY

My Shadie is good at whipping things, aren't you my little pickle?

SADIE

Who wants coffee and who wants tea?

LENOR

Nothing for me since both keep me up at night

SYLVIA

I know exactly where you're coming from Leoree. Drinking liquids before I go to bed makes me pee all night too! Sometimes I think I spend more time in the bathroom than I do in bed

LENOR

Charles dear, we really must leave now. My migraine is getting quite intense      

           LENOR stands up

Sadie, it's been wonderful meeting you and Monty…

CHARLES

We have to have a slice of this special cake Sadie made or she'll be insulted. Won't you Sadie? Just a little sliver…please?

 

           LENOR sit down again

 LENOR

Remember your cholesterol, dear…

SYLVIA

…you too? What pill are you taking for that? Wanna see all mine?

LENOR

I'll take half of the sliver you gave Charles

CHARLES

Now this is what I call a supper. Everything was perfect. Why don't share your recipes with Lenor? Anything is better than the grass we eat

LENOR

We really must leave dearest. I have a busy schedule tomorrow. Call me Sadie

MORTY

But… arem't… you… Lenor? If you…you wam me to call you Shabie, than Shabie it’ll be. I got a g-good idea! I'll call Shabie, Lemor, and Le-le-more, Shabie!

0 Comments on A taste of "A WEDDING" play - Jewish version as of 11/12/2014 11:39:00 AM
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33. A Thing for Vanna White

When I was in college, I had a thing for Vanna White.

Thing – (n) An odd desire or inkling of unknown origin and without rational basis that impels one to make poor decisions.

Everyone has a thing for someone else at some point. You can’t dismiss them, nor can you describe them. Things are just things. Boys especially get things because we are so visually driven. My thing happened to be for a letter-turning model who wore evening gowns.

vwIt’s best when a thing isn’t an acquaintance. That way, you have little opportunity to make a fool of yourself. Also good is when your thing is a celebrity because they have 300 pound security officers to keep fools with things away.

I never got the chance to meet Vanna. A friend had a similar thing for her and we decided to drive to Charleston when Wheel of Fortune went on the road. Our jalopy broke down somewhere in Tennessee and we never got close. Probably best.

By the time I met my wife, I thought I was over my thing. Little did I know that Vanna would rear her finely-styled locks into my life again. Searching for something to watch, I paused on Wheel of Fortune far too long, which elicited a comment from my Future Lovely Wife, who knew about my thing for Vanna.

FLW: It’s okay, you can watch her.

Me: No, I don’t want to watch her.

FLW: Seriously, nothing else is on and I know you like her.

Me: I don’t like her.

FLW: It’s okay to think she’s pretty.

(Before I type my response, you have to understand that I am and always have been an idiot.)

Me: Oh, you’re nowhere near as pretty as Vanna White.

Yup. That is actually what I said. I fully intended to say, “Vanna White is nowhere near as pretty as you.” But I didn’t. Stupid Thing! That comment has been etched in family lore ever since. Somehow, she still met me at the altar.

 

In breaking news, my wife is HOT! I’m sorry if that offends anyone – I don’t mean it to be demeaning. I asked if I could say it and it doesn’t offend her. She got the chance to wear an evening gown a few weeks ago and WOW! I always knew she was gorgeous, but WOW! Of course, in the pictures, there is a gorilla in a tuxedo beside her who looks too dumb to know he is the poor side of the unequal relationship.

 

There is a point in this post.

 

I decided to change the background of my phone to the picture of us in our swanky clothes. Since there are six of us, I couldn’t lay it out without cropping one or two of my kids, which could cause problems (especially if it were one of the middle children who always feel cut out). So I made just my stunning wife in her blue gown my background. Now that doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it has been for me.

You see, every time I finish a call or close an app, no matter what I’ve been doing or seeing, I go right back to my wife. Remember our visual nature. Wherever I allow myself to wander, this picture on my phone gets me revved up about my wife… which is kinda the way it’s supposed to be.

Take note guys. Find a picture where your wife, fiancée, girlfriend looks absolutely gorgeous and put it as the background on your phone. Too often, we get stuck looking at other things.

Things aren’t real and will get you nowhere. Just ask me about Vanna.


Filed under: Learned Along the Way

5 Comments on A Thing for Vanna White, last added: 11/13/2014
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34. SkADaMo 2014 Day 11

Piguin 2

March of the Piguins!

What is SkADaMo? Check it out here.


4 Comments on SkADaMo 2014 Day 11, last added: 11/13/2014
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35. SkADaMo 2014 Day 10

bunnehdillo SkADaMo

I’m really just having way too much fun here.

What is SkADaMo? Why this is SkADaMo.


8 Comments on SkADaMo 2014 Day 10, last added: 11/13/2014
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36. SkADaMo 2014 Day 9

Crockadoodle SkADaMo

Cuddly with an edge.

What is SkADaMo? Check this out.


7 Comments on SkADaMo 2014 Day 9, last added: 11/11/2014
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37. Naughty Kitty!, by Adam Stower | Book Review

Adam Stower follows up his Silly Doggy! book with another winner, Naughty Kitty!

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38. SkADaMo 2014 Day 8

hawktopus 2

Tentacles can be a real pain!

What is SkADaMo? Check it out here.


4 Comments on SkADaMo 2014 Day 8, last added: 11/9/2014
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39. Puppies(!) for Sale? Read This First

Shake Puppies contains an almost unsettling amount of cuteness. There is a good chance after looking through its pages you will get puppy fever and be thrown into an unwavering quest for your next pet. Here is my sound advice if you are indeed afflicted by this condition: Rescue your next dog! Hear me say [...]

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40. Justice

Justice is a matter of belief that fairness has won the day, that truth and honesty has prevailed …

But alas, Justice is only a perception that many times is corrupted by greed …JDMartRedRoadJustice11520142


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41. SkADaMo 2014 Day 6

Crabrador SkADaMo

The breeding process to achieve the hybrid, Crabrador was not exactly a smooth one.

Ok, so internet sensation, Meowls and Dirds got me to thinking. What other animal combinations could one come up with.

Oh, and if you’re wondering what SkADaMo is, check this out.


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42. SkADaMo 2014 Day 6

Crabrador SkADaMo

The breeding process to achieve the hybrid, Crabrador was not exactly a smooth one.

Ok, so internet sensation, Meowls and Dirds got me to thinking. What other animal combinations could one come up with.

Oh, and if you’re wondering what SkADaMo is, check this out.


10 Comments on SkADaMo 2014 Day 6, last added: 11/8/2014
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43. Ungifted by Gordon Korman

UngiftedNo one would ever call Donovan Curtis a gifted student. In fact, even average might be considered a generous label for Donovan’s academic abilities. However, when a seemingly harmless prank goes horribly wrong and there is a mix-up with some paperwork in the Superintendent’s office, Donovan Curtis finds himself on a very prestigious list of students who are being transferred to the Academy of Scholastic Distinction. Not wanting to ruin a good thing (or face the consequences of his actions), Donovan does his best to skate by under the radar in his new school for as long as possible, but being ungifted in a class of geniuses is not easy to hide. As his teachers and fellow classmates grow more and more suspicious, Donovan must work harder to become an indispensible member of the robotics team and his class in general or face being found out as an impostor or worse. Along the way, Donovan’s new classmates, teachers, and even his family come to realize that people are gifted in a variety of ways, and sometimes it can be the least likely addition that can make all the difference. Donovan may not be book smart, but he knows plenty about being average, and average may be exactly what the students at the Academy really need.

Told from multiple points of view, Ungifted is more than just the story of Donovan trying to keep his head above water at the Academy of Scholastic Distinction. Unlikely friendships are formed, fences are mended, and stereotypes are smashed in this clever, funny and often heart-warming story of friendship and acceptance. Gordon Korman does a wonderful job giving each narrator a distinct voice. Donovan and his classmates are the stars of the story, but even among those stars, super-genius Noah Youkilis is a stand-out with his quirky fashion sense, obsession for trying to get kicked out of the Academy, and a newly ignited passion for wrestling. This is a fun, fast-paced read for middle school students looking for realistic fiction along the lines of Wonder without the heavy subject matter.

Posted by: Staci


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44. Comic Fiction Competition: The Robert Reeves Prize in Comic Fiction

The Robert Reeves $1,000 Prize in Comic Fiction, judged by distinguished author and editor, Daniel Menaker

Submit your short comedic fiction (no more than 5,000 words) to The Southampton Review’s first annual Robert Reeves Comic Fiction Contest! We won’t even try to tell you what we’re looking for. The comic impulse is so widely and variously expressed in fiction that it resists definition. But if your comic muse has led you to a story that you consider a match, throw caution to the wind and send it to us.


Entry fee is $15 per submission. Winners will be notified on or before January 15, 2015, and will be honored at the Manhattan launch of TSR: The Southampton Review’s Spring 2015 issue.


Submission Period: September 1st through October 31st. Submit here.


1st Place: $1000 and publication in the Spring 2015 issue of TSR: The Southampton Review. Finalist stories will be considered for publication in TSR Online.


Notably irreverent contest judge Daniel Menaker has been the fiction editor at The New Yorker, and Executive Editor in Chief of Random House. He is the author, most recently, of the memoir My Mistake.

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45. SkADaMo 2014

SkADaMo 2014 post monkey

I realize I waited until the very last minute to get things started this year. But flying by the seat of the pants is SkADaMo tradition, afterall!

Sooooo, it’s November First! That means all the cool challenges are upon us.

There’s NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month)

NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) and

PiBoIdMo (Picture Book Idea Month), of which I am a participant of again this year.) Wouldn’t miss it for the world!

There are probably a bunch more, but suffice it to say, November is a busy month for some. So now, for the past three years, SkADaMo “Sketch a Day Month” has also been thrown into the mix.

I really started SkADaMo as a personal challenge and gave it the name as a bit of a spoof on all the other November challenges. I even jokingly made a badge, thinking I would be the only participant. But lo and behold, several other wonderful artists, doodlers and sketchers threw their hats, or pencils into the mix.

So if anyone wants to join in, they are more than welcome to grab this badge, off to the side here and start sketching.

(Oh, by the way, I count this as my first sketch, so neener neener!) We play it fast and loose over here at SkADaMo!

SkADaMo button 2014 monkey220

 

SKADAMO RULES:

“What are the rules?” You may ask.

1. THERE ARE NO RULES! NO SIGN UP! NO REGISTRATION! NO GIVEAWAYS OR GUEST POSTERS!  No regulations, themes, daily words, Facebook pages or anything else resembling organization. Just lots of sketching, commenting back and forth and hopefully lots of inspiration and craft honing!
SkADaMoers are scoff-laws and Mavricks! (Actually, the truth is I’m just not that organized.) The only code we live by this month is SKETCH! SKETCH! SKETCH! Sketch everyday from November 1 to November 30,or at least try to.
You may not sketch every single day, but by golly you will have tried and you’ll have more sketches in your sketchbook at the end of November than you might have otherwise.
So, there’s that!

2. In the past I kept a running list of participants right here on my blog. This year, however, if you post your sketches or links to your blog on facebook, twitter, instagram, tumblr, flickr or pinterest, why not go ahead and hasthtag it with #SkADaMo. I believe this would be a much more efficient way to keep track and follow fellow SkADaMo participants.

Oh, and did I mention, I’m not very organized?

3. Go ahead and grab this small badge if you’d like and use it as you see fit, on your blog or what have you.

4. Most important rule of all… SMILE! This is fun!

Sketch on my fellow SkADaMoers, (should there be any this year!)


11 Comments on SkADaMo 2014, last added: 11/3/2014
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46. SkADaMo 2014 Day 2

fowl weather Skadamo

Friday night, Halloween night, it rained for the first time in, like, forever!

It poured!

It was miraculous and life affirming!

It was marvelous!

Was looking forward to more precipitation, but nooooooo. The sun shone mockingly back at me today.

Maybe tomorrow we’ll get some “fowl” weather.

What is SkADaMo? Check it out here.


3 Comments on SkADaMo 2014 Day 2, last added: 11/4/2014
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47. SkADaMo 2014 Day 3

bear vote

VOTER FLOOD

 


10 Comments on SkADaMo 2014 Day 3, last added: 11/4/2014
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48. SkADaMo 2014 Day 4

skadamo voted bear

What is SkADaMo? Check it out here.


2 Comments on SkADaMo 2014 Day 4, last added: 11/5/2014
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49. The Art of the Snot Rocket

I have no idea when I perfected it. The snot rocket is an art boys learn early on. We had our share of cold winters in Kentucky where I grew up. Winter, where the snot rocket is born…

You might say there is no skill involved in expelling phlegm from your nose. That’s where you are wrong. Anyone’s nose can run. The question is: can hold your nose just right, tilt your head and force it out properly so that it doesn’t land on your face or clothing? Because that would be embarrassing. Further, can you aim it while on the run so it doesn’t freeze and become a dangerous icy patch to those who come after you?

I can.

sr

I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty good – darn good. I feel like if we could get this added as an Olympic sport, I could medal. Where is the SRAA (Snot Rocket Athletic Association) to champion this cause? Imagine that, a Southern boy winning gold in the Winter Olympics.

I got to test my skill Sunday. It dipped to freezing in Georgia for the first time this winter. I love cold runs. In fact, I planned on doing 8 miles and stretched it into 10. There weren’t many people on the greenway with me while I plied my phlegmy craft. Unbeknownst to me, there was a new factor at play.

Kylie has decided that she no longer likes the shape of my head and wants me to cover it with hair again. In fact, she decided she would like me to cover my face, as well. I don’t know what that says, but I am happy to comply. Just like I had always wanted to shave my head, I have always wanted to try to grow a beard. My lovely wife objected to both, but we do pretty much whatever Kylie wants while she is in treatment. So I have a week’s worth of stubble on my head and face.

I think it is going to come in. It looks slightly patchy on the cheeks, but a goatee will not be a problem. All the online beard-growing advice I’ve found says you have to give it a month before you decide. I can hold out. I’m actually kind of excited about it. Right now, with stubble all over, I feel dangerous – like a European bad guy in a James Bond film.

This new growth plays havoc with the snot rocket, however. I didn’t know it when I started running. I launched away for the 5 miles out. When I turned around, more people had joined the run and I noticed quite a few stares. I chalked it up to my new shady appearance. They must be afraid – wondering if I was planning dastardly deeds that only MI6 can thwart. Dangerous.

Little did I know until I got to the truck that I was stockpiling snot rockets on my new facial hair. Like twin demented antlers, they had collected and grown in a downward spiral shape from my upper lip. Yuck…

I have a challenge before me this winter of adapting the game to my new look. Don’t worry, part of being a professional is overcoming obstacles that stand in the way. And if the SRAA comes calling, I will shave and probably wax my upper lip to be competitive. Nothing can get in the way of an Olympic dream.


Filed under: Learned Along the Way

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50. SkADaMo 2014 Day5

meowl

MEOWLS AND DIRDS

Inspired by this and this.

I mean, just saying the words make me smile!

By the way, wondering what SkADaMo is? Check this out.


8 Comments on SkADaMo 2014 Day5, last added: 11/6/2014
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