How to use this Page

In recognition of the up-coming U.S. Thanksgiving holiday.

SCENE: CITY ZOO



Once again, we’re not included in Thanksgiving celebrations


Did you really expect to? I mean, why should they? Who are we? Merely the tools in which they make money. That’s all - and how do they thank us? Closing the zoo for the day so we can’t even expect extra treats from visitors. This is so typically…human
 
SOUND: GOBBLE-GOBBLE… GOBBLE-GOBBLE….

















RAT


ZEBRA






























(slithering closer)








(slithering almost directly in front of TURKEY)

Well turkey – really feel for you, in the true sense of the word. I just happen to live inside in a huge glass enclosure that has lots of hiding places.  Why don’t you come back to my place and check things out? I live alone and there’s nobody to bother or see us

That’s a very generous offer on your part –


-          Manny –

TURKEY

Manny


Anything for a friend in need.




The farmer took good care of me up until before Thanksgiving. You can see for yourself when we get back to your pit.


Oh I intend to

Add a Comment

National Friendship Day was originally founded by Hallmark as a promotional campaign to encourage people to send cards, but is now celebrated in countries across the world on the first Sunday in August. This post celebrates the friendship of two of our favorite characters from classic literature, Rat and Mole from The Wind in the Willows.

The post Mole and Rat: A chancing friendship appeared first on OUPblog.

Add a Comment

SCENE: A small zoo. Zebra, Christmas show director/producer/mentor to the lesser talented, is preparing the zoo denizens to put on their annual Christmas performance

AT RISE: Some of the performers are chatting amongst themselves while others work closely, in some cases too closely, going over lines

ZEBRA
(checking list)
...sleigh...bag of toys...jingle bells...  What's missing? Hello? Where are the reindeer?

REINDEER RANDY
(munching on moss)
I'm here, Zee (burps) There - better

ZEBRA
Did your mother not teach you it's uncouth to burp out loud, not to mention very impolite and boorish

REINDEER RANDY
Maybe she did if I knew what those words meant

ZEBRA
Why...why do I agree to do this every year?

(ZEBRA stares at himself in the mirror) 'You do it for the sake of the theatre, you talented, handsome beast...'

(cont'd.) Where, pray tell, are the others, he asks, afraid of what he'll be told

REINDEER RANDY
They're back in the barn, playing poker.

ZEBRA
(jumps back)
Say what? The show is about to begin and they're gambling?

REINDER RANDY
They're playing for some green

ZEBRA
Stop them immediately! The last thing we need is for the zoo to be raided!

(staring at himself in the mirror)' It just never ends, does it, gorgeous beast!'

REINDEER RANDY
Not to worry. There's only moss in the pot. Want me to go get them?

ZEBRA
Why must I suffer the humiliation of amatoor performers? Why?

REINDEER RANDY
Because nobody else will do it?

ZEBRA
(pacing)
Tell them to take their places in front of the sleigh, immediately. I'm a professional... I have a reputation to retain... they need me... without my presence there is no show. Go and bring them here posthaste - that means fast for your edification

(ZEBRA stares at himself in full-length mirror. Places a cloth on his forehead)

(cont'd.) I feel a mee-graine coming on...must control myself
(cont'd.)'My but those stripes are stunning! I would fall in love with you if I hadn't already!' 

(loud squawking can be heard)

(cont'd. ZEBRA) My head...the noise...Is there no peace for moi? (staring at himself in the mirror) 'What did I do to deserve to be put in charge of these...these maladroit soubrettes? Still, the show must go on. I am a professional. Hmmmm - my stripes do give my very well proportioned body a certain je ne said quoi...What are you doing after the show, handsome...

RAT
Excuse me Zeb...but there's a problem

ZEBRA
...those dark enquiring eyes...those long lashes... Rat! Why are here? You're in the opening scene

RAT
Figured you'd want to know -

ZEBRA
- we can't afford any more delays. My mee-grain is definitely getting worse so break it to me in gentle hints

RAT
Well...it has to do with Santa....

ZEBRA
- are my eyes bloodshot? There's nothing worse than a zebra with red eyes. People will think I've taken to drink, although I wouldn't blame myself. Is it the costume thing, again? I mean, really, the chicken is quite vain. She assured me she could handle the role. Nobody will even realize that the jacket won't close...just tell her to hold her mitts in front...

RAT
...and one of the actors

ZEBRA
I sent her to a quiet place to go over her lines with the acting coach, although why the necessity is beyond me. I mean, really, "Ho-ho-ho. I think I hear Santa" Nevertheless - where is she? Thespian chickens tend to be peckish. I'll have to give her a pep talk

RAT
Well that's just it...

ZEBRA
What's it? Stop speaking in riddles and go get her

RAT
Seems somebody offered to give her private coaching in his den

ZEBRA
That can't be a bad thing. Wait a minute - did you say 'den'? That Cheetah! I should have known better! Last year it was Mr. Squeeze who got up close and personal with the squirrel and now this. I need some of my special tonic to help assuage my nerves.

RAT
Perhaps that's not such a great idea, Zeb. Remember what happened last year

ZEBRA
They don't pay me enough greens to direct this Christmas show. Must calm down. Is it...

RAT
(holding up feathers)
...too late

ZEBRA
No! This can't be happening! There's no time for a replacement so I, myself, will be forced to don the red costume, even though it clashes with my stripes and does absolutely nothing for my skin. The show must go on. But first, a dose of tonic....maybe two doses...down the hatch. "Places everyone! Curtain up!"

NEXT:
IT'S SHOW TIME, IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE

Add a Comment

                                                                     
SCENE: CITY ZOO.  DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT

Some of the zoo denizens are gathering together in preparation for the daily opening of the zoo. A whistle breaks the morning silence. The whistle is repeated again and again. A boa constrictor (MR. SQUEEZE) slither's out from the shadows.

MR. SQUEEZE

Hello? Anyone?

 RAT

Oh fer… That wasn`t the signal! It was supposed to be a bird call

MR. SQUEEZE

I think not! As I recall during the last meeting, we took a vote and decided on a whistle.

RAT

You left before the meeting ended. Remember?

MR. SQUEEZE

Perhaps…my memory isn’t what it used to be. Um…Ratty dear – you do have a lovely body…so smooth….so tempting…not a blemish anywhere…  I mean, you keep yourself in such good shape. Your tail is especially attractive as a nice, little snack…  I mean to say, located right there on your back

RAT

(running his hands up and down his tail)

You think so? I have been told that by many… Why are you staring at me like that?

MR. SQUEEZE

How about a nice hug, from one friend-to-another?

RAT

You have had supper, right?

MR. SQUEEZE

If you can call cat food supper. The financial cutbacks here at the zoo leave me hungry and wanting more

RAT

(backing up)

Where is everyone, anyway?

MR. SQUEEZE

Is there any more news about the zoo being on the verge of bankruptcy? What will happen to us? It’s getting to the point that everyone is looking very – um – appealing – in the looks sense of course

RAT

There’s no limit to what  changes they’ll make to save a buck. We’re at the top of the list for sure.

 (A shadow emerges into the zoo light)

(cont'd.)  RAT  

Well it’s about time!

ZEBRA

I was memorizing my lines my dear man. We must emote. We must open our mouths to properly enunciate the words like this: “loooo-loooo-loooo…la-la-la-la…Me-me-me…” That’s the secret in being an adept thespian, like me. I’ll be doing a solo in the show tonight so I have to be ready

RAT

You haven’t heard? The show is cancelled

ZEBRA

Say what?

MR. SQUEEZE

Um…zebra - has anybody told you that you have a striking body structure? Do you mind if I lick you a bit? I mean, to say of course, what makes you tick as an actor?

ZEBRA

Why thank you! Appearance if very important for an actor, y’know! Body appeal and all…audiences expect it, unlike other animals who shall remain unmentioned

RAT

Let's practice in case they want us to perform for the paying customers. Who has the script, anyway?

MR. SQUEEZE

The cheetah was supposed to make copies for everyone

CHEETAH

(bouncing out from behind a tree)

Somebody talking about me? Cheetah’s my name and running is my game

ZEBRA

Where are the scripts or did you use them to line your den, again?

CHEETAH

A cheetah needs to make renovations now and then! You are looking particularly delicious tonight, zebra baby…that is to say, very fat and luscious… Of course I mean to say, so masterful in a leadership kind of way

ZEBRA

You forgot to take your appetite depressants again, didn’t you? Ohmygawd! Run and hide!

CHEETAH

He’s at it again, accusing me that I’m off my meds! Anybody tell you you’re very appealing – in an intellectual sort of way, zebra? Why don’t we go back to my den and discuss it? I’d like to show you my etchings…

ZEBRA

Oh you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Just like the last actor you invited up. All we found of him was a paper fragment with the word HELP! You disgusting beast!

RAT

Enough! Everyone – back to your cages. It’s almost dawn and the visitors will soon be arriving. Does everyone know their parts?

MR. SQUEEZE

I lay around and look hungry. No problem there.

ZEBRA

I’m supposed to run back and forth and chew what is left of the one pathetic patch of grass. The ground is almost bare and my bones are beginning to stick out

CHEETAH

I like to suck bones… I mean, that is so sad!

RAT

And we rats will be…rats. A few fights - a few deaths… Okay – places everyone. The zoo is opening

CHEETAH

Mmmmmmm – that young visitor looks quite delicious…of course I’m referring to that cotton candy he’s eating

RAT

Now Cheetah, let’s not have a repeat of last week’s incident. Okay everyone – look cute! The paying customers are here! Places everyone! The show must go on!

Add a Comment

SCENE: CITY ZOO



Once again, we’re not included in Thanksgiving festivities


Did you really expect to? I mean, why should they? Who are we? Merely the tools in which they make money. That’s all - and how do they thank us? Closing the zoo for the day so we can’t even expect extra treats from visitors. This is so typically…human
 
SOUND: GOBBLE-GOBBLE… GOBBLE-GOBBLE….

















RAT


 ZEBRA






























(slithering closer)








(slithering almost directly in front of TURKEY)

Well turkey – really feel for you, in the true sense of the word. I just happen to live inside in a huge glass enclosure that has lots of hiding places.  Why don’t you come back to my pit and check things out? I live alone and there’s nobody to bother or see us

That’s a very generous offer on your part –


-          Manny –

TURKEY

Manny


Anything for a friend in need.




The farmer takes good care of me. You can see for yourself when we get back to your pit.


Oh I intend to

Add a Comment

The zoo opens to visitors. The animals in the zoo, which has fallen on hard times, make the usual animal sounds that visitors expect them to make

CHILD


MOM


CHILD


MOM


CHILD


MOM


CHILD


MOM


ZEBRA


CHILD


MOM


CHILD


MOM


ZEBRA


MOM




MOM


ZEBRA


MOM



ZEBRA



MOM


(opens purse, takes out five dollars and enters it in the slot. She smiles broadly)

I’ll go along. See? Putting five dollars in the machine. Here honey – feed the zebra

(boy feeds food to the zebra who gobbles it up immediately)

What’s the name of the TV show, anyway?

ZEBRA


MOM


(the mother and her child move along. A rat enters the zebra cage)

RAT


ZEBRA


RAT


ZEBRA


RAT


ZEBRA


RAT


ZEBRA

Add a Comment

5 Stars Geronimo Stilton #11: We'll Always Have Paris Lewis Trondheim Nanette McGuinness Papercutz 56 Pages    Ages: 7 and up .......................... .................................... Back Cover:  Geronimo Stilton is the editor of the Rodent’s Gazette, the most famous paper on Mouse Island. In his free time he loves to tell fun, happy stories. In this adventure, Geronimo [...]

Add a Comment

I've got a brand new painting and it's a bit left over from Halloween but there ya' go... I'm working on an Xmas painting right now that I hope to have finished for Thanksgiving... stay tuned and hope you dig the Rat!

http://www.imagekind.com/Rat-as-Mutant_art?IMID=38f731cf-adca-4e6b-b0b1-a7d33605a867

-MC

Add a Comment

Urban Tribes

Display Comments Add a Comment

Apparently this place  is just oozing with office crushes! The fun part is letting you guys extrapolate on the viability of the relationship, etc. I appreciate the laughs!

Add a Comment

Dang! Is it already Day 4? What the heck am I going to do with myself once Nerdery Week is in our rearview? How ever will we cope?

Somehow, I think we'll manage.

You know, I don't think I'll promise that this installment will be shorter, because, let's face it...they never are. So, pack a lunch or a snack and let's take another peek at TKT HQ or, as we affectionately call it: THE NERDERY.

Today, I'm going to take you to Fridge Corner.

You're thinking: Hey's it's just a little corner in the nerdery. This won't take long. No sweat.

Right.

Well, as you probably surmised, this is the entry to the Nerdery. It's kind of a little nook where I've got concert posters, the fridge and a couple other little nuggets of nerdy goodness. I tried to shoot it with the desk corner there for perspective, so you can sort of get your bearings. Dang. I'm gonna have to shoot a video, aren't I?

First up is my framed poster for the Fountains of Wayne show I saw at First Avenue back in June of 2007. Dang. Has it been that long already? It's hard to see, but I'm a nerd in that I frame my concert ticket right in the frame whenever possible. What's cool about this poster is that it was a limited run of 250. At least, that's what I was told.

If you look past the door and right above the little fridge, you'll come across a trio of concerts pretty much rocked my world. Starting from...

The Top - Well, here's where I lose all street cred and admit that I'm a pretty die-hard Bjork fan. If you only know her as 'that wacky broad that wore the swan dress' then...SHAME ON YOU! I won't get into how much of a musical and visual genius she is (including the swan dress, haters!) but I will tell you that my friend Dirty and I went on a road trip to see her at Red Rocks. That's right, Colorado. I'm not a religious fellow, but that experience was, well...religious. This poster was a limited edition, too. Blah, blah, blah...

Bottom Left - The greatest band ever, which you probably already knew is Eels. This would be show #2 for me. This was the infamous 'Eels With Strings' tour where frontman E (Mark Oliver Everett) toured with a 4 woman string ensemble and stripped down all his rockin' tunes to something completely different. This poster was hard to come by. I actually pestered the Pantages Theater days later until they said: "Fine. Come and get the @#%*-in' poster." Persistence pays, kids.

Bottom Right - There was a time when Nelly Furtado was more hippy than she was pop-y and sort of like every other Britney Spears wannabe. Anyway, this was that show. She was young, new and had something to prove. Legend has it that during this show at The Quest she was sick as a dog. She'd sing two songs, jump backstage, barf her guts out and come back to sing some more. Awesome. Also, I was in the front row and she slapped my hand. Like a groupie, I didn't wash it for like 2 hours or something. Also, I got one of her guitar picks. You read that right: She ACTUALLY plays the guitar!

Fun fact about the fridge...it was actually an after thought. When my dad (What up, Bruce!) and I sat down and planned how to make this unfinished room rock hardcore, we never even thought about a fridge. As we were sheetrocking and wiring the joint, I got thirsty. I thought about how awesome it would be if I didn't have to go upstairs to the fridge to get liquid refreshment. Thus, the fridge cubby-hole was born. I'd love to say it was an easy thing to build, but it actually took us a long time to get it right. Well worth the trouble...right, Dad? Er...Dad?

Now, if you turn to your right from the fridge, you'll see this small little wall. Of course, since there's space on there, I gots to put more crap up, right? Right?

Answer: Right.

Let's take a closer look!

Okay, okay... So I'm not as obsessive about Bjork as say a certain Iowan is with Madonna *cough Dan cough cough* but this puts me on the map a little. You see, I spotted this thing on Ebay a number of years back and I had to have it. Had. To. Have. It. It's got a CD single of one of my favorite songs in there (Bachelorette) and if you squint, you can see the Icelandic Princess signed it, too. I got into a MAJOR bidding war with someone and well, it's...uh...mine. Final price? I don't want to talk about it.

Now despite the sack of garbage on legs in brown featured in the picture, this is one of my favorite concert-going experiences ever. I got to see Tracy Bonham (she sang 'Mother, Mother'...yes, you've heard it) in concert. The crazy thing? There was a typo in the ad for the show and like, literally 20 people showed up for it. Thankfully it was in the Ascot Room (which is part of The Quest), so it wasn't totally humilating for her. I scored two guitar picks, her set list and another nerdy fan was nice enough to take my picture with Ms. Bonham AND e-mail me the picture from her camera. Now that's value! She signed it To Kingsley. You probably figured out that's my middle name and (another fun fact!) is what my closest friends call me.

Another year, another Eels show. Actually, this is a poster from the first Eels gig I saw. My roadtrippin' concert-goin' friend Dirty and I hit this one together in Madison, Wisconsin at a sweet place called Luther Blues. Don't look for it, it's not there (always wanted to say that), but man...what a blast. E came out onto the stage on the shoulders of one of his bandmates, playing the harmonica. Oh, and did I mention that he walked through the standing room only crowd? Awesome. Anyway, I scored a guitar pick from the man himself and upon returning to Minneapolis, I realized I didn't have a poster to remember the show by. A quick call to Madison took care of that. Heck, she even sent me some extra tickets with a note that said: Thanks for coming out to Luther's! Come back again soon! Dang, I wish I could.

I should apologize for the poor, poor quality of this picture. You see, one of the nerderies downfalls is the lack of a light right above Fridge Corner. I did all I could to make it look all nice n' neat for y'all, but I've failed you. Friends? Anyway, this is a set list from the Jem show I saw back in 2004. She was in the same small room where I saw Tracy Bonham, but the crowd was a bit bigger for ol' Jem. Again, it was one of those shows where you won't see her in a small venue like this again. She went on to have her songs in all kinds of shows (Grey's Anatomy, The O.C., etc...) so she's gotten along famously. Jem was cool enough to talk with me, compliment me on my name (why thank you!) and sign her set list for me. I wish she'd hurry up with that follow-up album, though. And in case you were thinking it: Yes, Jem is truly outrageous.

Final stretch, I swear. This is the little guy I've got above my door. He's a stone face of some sort and I can't remember what his deal is. I think he's some wind god or something like that, but I've always had him hovering above the door of my respective nerdery/workspace/garbage dump. This picture doesn't do him justice. You'll have to come over to see it, I guess.

Lastly, hanging on my nerdery door knob are these two items. The top one, is my baseball cap from the Woodbury Fire Department. I never wear it. I look like a complete a-hole in baseball hats, but it's there for decoration. It's actually the 2nd generation hat and I'm not a big fan of the design. I think it looks kinda wussy. Below that is the free Resident Evil: Extinction action bag that came with the purchase of the DVD. It's hardly big enough to hold a lunch let alone any zombie survival gear, but whateva...

Whew. No wonder I don't feel like editing after each Nerdery Week daily installment (but I do anyway!) I'm happy to consider myself over the hump at this point. I think by Day 7 we'll be looking at the dust bunnies under my futon. Stick around for that, maniacs!

And hey....check it. Our numbers are growing! New nerdery additions include...

The Musings of Wendy Withers
Uvulapie and His Amazing Hillbillies
Angela - The Bookshelf Muse
Unhinged

And, of course our returning cast of favorites with new updates:

Dan - This Man's World - Spiders and Madge-tastic
Matt - Blue Birdland - The Oaks
CG/PR - The Poisoned Apple - Her Bookcase

Am I missing anyone? Hey, you...the lurker! There's still time to get in on history. Don't let your nerdery fade into obscurity...bring it.

We wanna see the goods!

Display Comments Add a Comment

Scene: Tuesday, December 11th, 2007: right orchestra seat, middle school winter concert, husband and daughter to my right, and a spanking brand-new best friend to my left.

Did I mention my new friend is 7 years old? (I felt guilty talking to a little kid but her family ignored her throughout the entire concert; small wonder she turned to me for companionship.)

On our laps were the playbills from the show. We discovered we were both waiting for the 7th grade concert choir to sing. Her eyes sparkled and she took my hand, sharing a moment of instant sisterhood bonding. (If only it was always this easy.) I told her my daughter's name; she told me her big sister's name. She asked me to check off my daughter's name in her playbill. We went through the list of 7th graders, talking about the kids we knew and checking their names off with a giddy glee, proud of all the singers we knew in the show.

My Little New Best Friend knew the ropes, whispering her questions rather than talk over the 6th grade orchestra performance pieces. Quieted temporarily, the little girl studied my nails, admiring my nail polish. She leaned on my shoulder and we gently sang the words as the band played the Disney blockbuster medley. Someone this little hadn't thought I was this interesting since my own daughters were that little. (Makes you miss the days when your children thought you were the end-all and be-all of people on the planet. I used to be a Something Beyond Beloved to Them.)

I put my finger to my lips when I thought she was talking a little too much for the people around us to tolerate. (How old did I feel just then? 5000?)This did not stop her from needing to talk to someone. Without a moment's hesitation, My New Little 2nd Grade Friend took my pen and began to write notes (up and down and across the sheet, g-d I miss those note-passing days!) to me on the back of the playbill. She wanted to know how and what I knew about my daughter's friends.

Girl: How do you know L?

Me: L and S are best friends.

Girl: How were they...from first grade! (I think she meant a question mark here.)

Me: Since 5th or 6th grade.

Girl: Okay. I have a friend but she has another friend.

Me (with my heart breaking into tiny pieces): That is good to have more than one friend.



I hope I said the right thing.

I know she did.

She hugged me.

Now she has a friend-- and another friend too.

Add a Comment