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Here we go - the cover reveal and some exciting information about my newest book!
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Speak out when you can. Support survivors. Take gentle care of yourself. I do. smile emoticon
-Cheryl Rainfield, author of SCARS, STAINED, and HUNTED, and incest, rape, and torture survivor.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Speak out when you can. Support survivors. Take gentle care of yourself. I do. smile emoticon
-Cheryl Rainfield, author of SCARS, STAINED, and HUNTED, and incest, rape, and torture survivor.Add a Comment
Last fall, Tu Books released Killer of Enemies, a post-apocalyptic steampunk adventure by Joseph Bruchac. Readers were introduced to seventeen-year-old Apache hunter Lozen, a kick-butt warrior who kills monsters to ensure the safety of her family.
Set to be released next month, Joseph Bruchac has written an e-novella that’s a prequel to Killer of Enemies, titled Rose Eagle.
Rose Eagle is set in the Black Hills of South Dakota, where readers are introduced to seventeen-year-old Rose Eagle of the Lakota tribe who is trying to find her place in a post-apocalyptic world.
Before the Silver Cloud, the Lakota were forced to work in the Deeps, mining for ore so that the Ones, the overlords, could continue their wars. But when the Cloud came and enveloped Earth, all electronics were shut off. Some miners were trapped in the deepest Deeps and suffocated, but the Lakota were warned to escape, and the upper Deeps became a place of refuge for them in a post-Cloud world.
In the midst of this chaos, Rose Eagle’s aunt has a dream: Rose will become a medicine woman, a healer. She sends Rose into the Black Hills on a quest to find healing for their people.
Gangly and soft-spoken, Rose is no warrior. She seeks medicine, not danger. Nevertheless, danger finds her, but love and healing soon follow. When Rose Eagle completes her quest, she may return with more than she ever thought she was looking for.
We can’t wait to hear what you think of the cover!
This Wednesday is all about Celebrations. We celebrate the completion of my fairy deck that took ages to complete. We celebrate your own events, little or small, that may have been unnoticed. Maybe it was a missed birthday, or an achievement that no one cared about. We get to HONOR THEM. How cool is that?? And, we celebrate the November classes that start on Friday that are seriously cool, like the Telepathy class, I am writing right now. Did you sign up and reserve your space yet? We sure would love to have you here. (Here’s the catalog.)
9am (AZ time) Launch of the Virtual Balloons
11:00 (AZ time) Free Virtual Popcorn
1:00 (AZ time) Launch of Video
2:00 (AZ time) Fairy Virtual Dancing and Free Card Readings OR Fairy Dust
5pm (AZ time) We Celebrate Your Achievements with a giant virtual sheet cake and we all come down from Virtual Sugar Highs. Yay!!
Stop by here at the website on WEDNESDAY where posts will be launched throughout the day according to the Itinerary (I will at least try, but I’m not super detail oriented). There will be silly things happening I assure you, including dancing popcorn or free downloads.
Feel free to comment on posts sharing your own achievements, whether big or small, in the comment section.
Buy decks because everyone is doing it and it helps me pay bills. :) Woo hoo!
Tell a friend and drag them over for free virtual popcorn, because you know they want some.
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Comments from readers like these two–by Miracle and Annie–are a HUGE part of why I write. It is incredible to hear that my books help people stay alive and get through hard times, or stop cutting and get help, or accept their queerness and come out to others! (beaming) Amazing and so feel-good to have my books help others survive and heal and stay alive–just the way my favorite books helped me. I’m not sure I could have survived the torture and abuse I did without books, so it feels like a gift to me that my books help others, too.
I feel I can share these two letters because they were made publicly. I receive letters like this often–and they fuel me. They are soul food. On my darkest days, they give me light.
So if you have a book that helped you through hard times, don’t hesitate to let the author know!
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Trust yourself. You know what you need. We’re given constant messages from the media about what we need and how we should be. But we are each individuals, influenced by our past experiences–and we are not all the same. I’m queer. You might not be. I need to write, to have a voice through my writing, and to reach others. Maybe you have a voice in a different way. I need to talk about traumatic or painful things with trusted friends and a therapist–but sometimes I need time to think about them first. I also need time for fun, play, and hugs. Maybe you’re different. I love time to myself to read. Maybe you don’t. I need time with friends, but I also need quiet time. Figure out what it is you need, and follow that. Listen inside, and your heart will tell you what you need–to be happy, to be safe, to take care of yourself.
This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.
I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.
And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others.Add a Comment
If you’ve read my books or interviews about me, you’ll know that I write about strong-girl (and emotionally strong boy), and that I draw deeply on my own trauma and healing. I had to save myself over and over again until I was finally safe, and I had to draw on my own strength to survive. I believe we are often much stronger than we think we are, and sometimes we don’t know just how strong we are until we’re faced with painful situations where we have to draw on our own strength to cope.
You ARE strong. Remind yourself or let someone you love know you believe in them.Add a Comment
If you read my Huffington Post article “Unfrozen: How a Disney Movie Gave My Daughter Hope,” then you know that I have no prejudice against Disney movies. Indeed, I love a great story whether in book, ebook, or movie form, and the great Disney movies have as much power to heal or inspire as any other.
Thank you to Maria Tatar, John L. Loeb Professor of Germanic Languages and Literatures at Harvard for posting a link to Ron Suskind’s astonishing story of his autistic son Owen’s journey back to the land of neurotypicals through speech development and emotional resonance as learned by watching his favourite Disney movies, repeatedly, over many years. “No sidekick gets left behind” is a quote from Owen, an example of one of the first sentences he ever spoke. Suskind has a book coming out and the linked article is an excerpt. I promise that if you read this article, you will feel better for having done so. If not, write me and we’ll talk.
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Generational curses are sneaking up on families and many don’t even see it coming! Separation and resentfulness are creeping up on those who aren’t aware of the enemy’s tactics. The tools of the devil are devious. The word of God is powerful. Speak the Word over our family’s and claim healing and reconciliation where needed.
I have seen generational issues show up as families struggle with forgiveness and restoration. In a century of drug and alcohol addiction outpouring, families are experiencing trauma and heartbreaking issues.
Young people carelessly step into the world’s view on many Biblical issues and allow the enemy to blind their eyes to God’s view on issues such as sex before marriage, substance abuse, anger, violence, lack of forgiveness, thievery, and don’t follow the golden rule of doing to others what we would want them to do unto us.
How can we break these generational curses and have freedom in our family’s lives. Freedom in Christ is freedom that no man can steal from us. As Christians, we can make changes that will affect our family members’ lives forever. Stepping into the spiritual realm and praying for our families will open the windows of heaven. God will rain down blessings as we seek his will in our lives.
As we deal with the issues in our lives, we can make a difference by speaking positive things into place. Our words can bring healing and restoration. Helping those who are hurting find professional and spiritual assistance will allow them to get the counseling and advice they need. Many times, our family members won’t hear what we say, but will listen to someone else. Pray for God to bring that person of importance their way.
Schedule times to contact those who are astray. Pray for those who won’t respond. Speak positive words into their lives. Love and forgive. The first step for breaking those generational curses comes from our steps. Extend forgiveness, change an angry spirit, and forgive those who have been cruel, bury the anger that comes from the incident of theft, adultery. Forgive yourself. And finally, you should also ask forgiveness of anyone you’ve injured or offended.
Forgiveness isn’t a feeling or emotion; it is something you do. To forgive is to release. Forgiveness brings change. Forgiveness releases them from bondage and allows them to walk away into a brand-new life.
Finally, walk as we are called to walk; as an Ambassador of Heaven. Represent the convictions we have as followers of Christ. Live as a person with values, positive attitude and the power of a higher call. Show others God’s way. Show kindness, grace and compassion. Leave a trace of healing wherever you go. Be the ultimate agent of forgiveness in an unforgiving world. Break those generational curses in Jesus’ name!
You have no idea what kind of blessings will flow. Families are set free, forgiveness and healing will come simply because you took the role of an ambassador of peace seriously. Our Lord – the One we represent will make “all things new.”
Since 2005, more than 80% of Americans have rated nurses on a Gallup poll as having “high” or “very high” honesty and ethical standards. In fact, nurses have topped the list since 1999, the first year Gallup asked about them with the exception of 2001. (That year, Gallup included firefighters on a one-time basis, given their prominent role in 9/11 rescue efforts.) What many people don’t understand is that their nurse’s level of education is a life or death matter. In a study just published in Health Affairs, a nurse researcher found that a 10-point increase in the percentage of nurses holding a 4-year BSN degree within a hospital was associated with an average reduction of 2.12 deaths for every 1,000 patients. For more seriously ill patients, the average reduction in deaths was 7.47 per 1,000 patients.
For anybody who has experienced health care, these statistics aren’t surprising. Nurses are the glue that holds much of health care together. Nurse practitioners can effectively manage 80% of primary care with outcomes that equal or exceed physician care. Nurse anesthetists manage care during surgical procedures, nurse midwives deliver babies, and nurses provide care in homes, clinics, senior living centers, schools, and hospitals.
One of the things that excites me these days is that in all of these settings, more and more nurses are practicing integrative nursing – care that focuses on the whole person and uses integrative therapies and healing practices to manage symptoms, ease suffering, and improve quality of life. What does this mean? If you’re experiencing nausea because of your illness or the effects of treatments such as chemotherapy, you might be offered aromatherapy or acupressure before resorting to a drug that’s more expensive, may be less effective, and may cause side effects. If you’re anxious or having difficulty sleeping, you may be taught ways to breathe and relax or be encouraged to practice mindfulness meditation. Nurses practicing from an integrative perspective are eager to help you learn how to better manage your own health and wellbeing, not just deal with the crisis or problem you’re facing at the moment.
Integrative nursing is good for nurses as well as patients. I’ve observed that care settings that embrace integrative nursing are finding that nurses are attracted to work in their organizations, find their practice more fulfilling, and are more engaged and less likely to leave. For the past five years, I have co-led a new educational program at the University of Minnesota – a doctorate of nursing practice (DNP) program in integrative health and healing. This program prepares nurse leaders who work in clinical — as well as in community and corporate — settings. As the first program of its kind, it’s attracting students from around the United States.
Mary Jo Kreitzer is the Director of the Center for Spirituality & Healing, and a Professor for the School of Nursing at the University of Minnesota. She is also a co-editor of Integrative Nursing, a title from the Weil Integrative Medicine Library.
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Image Credit: U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Eddie Harrison, Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons.
Whether one chooses to use prayers, dreams or intuitive methods as a practice to invoke the power of intuitive healing, there are eight steps the person seeking healing may do to shape his or her attitude and ability in a way that encourages receptivity to healing. The first five steps prepare and bring the practitioner to the necessary trusting, child-like intuitive heart space which is the healing center, no matter if the healing is done for oneself or for another person. The last three steps help accomplish and follow through with the mission. This means relaxing, getting out of the head and seeing with the “eyes” of the heart. Only then is one open to receive the intuitive healing information that may come in many forms such images, sounds, voices, sensations, smells, or memories.
According to energy healing practices, healing is said to originate in the “heart” as opposed to the head. This is the heart chakra located in the chest, the energy node responsible for sending and receiving loving energy. According to Hindu tradition, it is also the meeting place for the transcendent energies coming from the higher chakras of the throat and head which mix with the lower energies coming from the base of the spine, pelvic area and solar plexus. Some consider it the place “where heaven and earth meet” as in the expression in the Lord’s Prayer, “on earth as it is in heaven.” Only when human beings connect with each other from this open, expanding and loving region of the heart center which holds all these energies together can a divine, healing and “making whole” experience, like heaven, be recreated in the human realm.
An appearance of my own inner healer, portrayed in one of my revelatory dreams as a towering, well-built gray-haired male physician practicing in New York, told me that when he heals he heals from a space just above and to the left of the physical heart. While I did not understand at the time why I was given this dream, I understood it was conveying important information to me. I made sure to write it down. Not long after, when I was studying intuition under Dr. Henry Reed of the Edgar Cayce Institute for Intuitive Studies, I learned that the “heart space” is the receptor and sender of intuitive information which can help heal. I realized my dream had confirmed for me that the heart chakra, the locus for loving energy, was also the location for sending and receiving healing energy either to me or to others.
After prayerfully requesting or intending a healing for myself or someone else, I use a simple meditation that will get me into the relaxed, open and trusting heart space like that of the intuitive small child. While I feel the expansion of the positive energy which occurs in this state, I imagine healing energy coming from an infinite source above my head, and allow it to enter through the top of my head. I visualize it flowing down to the heart and then mixing with the expanding energy of the heart chakra where it can ride on the wave of expanding energy. Then I release it, by either imagining it going where it needs to go or letting it go where greater wisdom determines.
At this point, I may expect a response, knowing that it will come in any number of ways. The answer may come in the way of an event totally outside the body such as a serendipitous phone call or an accidental meeting. When the response comes through intuition it can come through sensations in the body, memories, thoughts, insights, an inner voice, or a dream.
According to Hindu tradition, the energy field of the human body is made up of seven major energy centers called chakras. There are more chakras, but for the purpose at hand these are the main ones that seem in my experience to get reflected in dreams. Each of these energy centers generates its own kind of energy to deal with certain life issues. If there is a wounding correlating to one of these issues it affects the quality of the energy in the chakra and can cause disease to a part of the body related to the chakra. Thus, any disease or emotional imbalance is viewed as relating to one or more of these chakra areas.
As with any other kind of issue, once you are aware that a chakra and its energies are presenting themselves in a dream, you can work with that chakra and any relevant issues through dreamwork. You just need to know what to look for in terms of symbolism and metaphor. A good book on chakras can help provide you with the usual colors for the chakras as well as corresponding issues. A good book on dreams may provide the commonly held symbols for the chakras in dreams. On-going dreamwork will reveal the colors of your chakras that are unique to you and your private dream vocabulary. Your colors may appear in different color tones, often depending on the type of energy manifesting from the chakra.
From the many different sources I’ve read on the subject, the following colors of the chakras are usually given in the manner of how they appear on the spectrum of the rainbow:
1st Chakra: Red
2nd Chakra: Orange
3rd Chakra: Yellow
4th Chakra: Green
5th Chakra: Blue
6th Chakra: Purple
7th Chakra: White
In my dreams chakras usually present themselves as big round buttons on a tunic I am wearing. They sometimes need to be polished; a hint that I have some spiritual work to do. Also, I have found that a predominant color in dreams (other than black) on a major symbol such as the walls of a room is a good indicator that a chakra issue is present. For example, in the following dream the bright red of the walls was so odd and overpowering it immediately drew my attention to it. Since the wall indicated a space of that color I took it be the “space” of my 1st chakra.
Example (Dream): I am entering a bathroom that is oddly decorated with big, bright red tiles on the walls. The tiles are hard to miss. I start to pee in the toilet.
Peeing in the toilet naturally made me associate with the words “pissed off,” suggesting that perhaps I had a 1st chakra issue needing release. Reflecting on this possibility raised several concerns related to 1st the chakra such as finances and my place in the world that perhaps I needed to work on.
Since the days of the ancient Greek healing centers called aesclepions, dreams have been associated with health and healing. Keeping a regular record of your dreams will clearly demonstrate the special relationship dreams have to health. It will produce many health related benefits to include:
During times of crisis, especially when serious health related issues are at stake, the occurrence of visions or other paranormal phenomenon is not as unusual as one might expect. Many people have been led to believe that seeing a vision either indicates saintliness or insanity—not a comfortable point of view to hold when an angel drops by! As a result, people tend to be very cautious about sharing their experience of visions. However, I found that quite a number of average people have visions. In my classes, many students recounted seeing visits by supernatural beings like Jesus or angels or the presence of a comforting divine light. For the most part, these experiences come at traumatic or life changing times in someone’s life.
These phenomena can be thought of as expressions of pure intuition, healing energy that breaks through when the veil between this world and other realities is made thin by the magnitude of a mind-bending reality a person is facing. The reality to be encountered can be traumatic such as life threatening surgery, a sexual assault, or death of a loved one. However, it may not necessarily be negative. It could be something profoundly wonderful such as the gifting of a special and life changing calling as Mary experienced with the visit of the Archangel Gabriel who heralded her role to be the mother of Jesus.
At these times, visions come to tell the distraught person that the overwhelming reality encountered is not all there is and will not have to be born alone—that something more abides giving comfort, love and insight. In Mary’s case, she was told she had found favor with God and that the power of the Most High would overshadow her.
Some people may be confused by the difference between visions and hallucinations. According to Morton Kelsey, in Dreams: A Way to Listen to God, Paulist Press, 1978, visions and hallucinations are very different and easy to distinguish. He says the vision is “attributed to the inner world” by the beholder while a hallucination is “attributed to the physical world.” Visions can be very practical and helpful, tending to bring gifts like guidance and comfort. Hallucinations, on the other hand, are taken to be actually there in the physical world when they aren’t perceived by others, and tend to instill fear and other negative feelings into the beholder. Hallucinations can come as a side effect of certain drugs or medications.
After working with dreams for nearly forty years, I know that even the worst nightmares contain a kernel of hope or healing. The following nightmare took me a long time to understand. I had several repeats until it finally “hit” me what this dream offered as its healing insight. The dream took a while to sink in perhaps because it chose as the motif of one of my greatest fears: hitting a person while driving. To make things worse, in the dream the feeling of hitting a person was so realistic—as if it really did happen.
I am driving very slowly because I sense some danger. Then, a group of kids surges in from the left. I see a young boy of 4 or 5 years old either fall or lunge into the left front of my car. Although I slam on the breaks, I hear the thud of something hitting my car. A shock wave of raw realization explodes from my chest as the force of emergency breaking flips the car on its side, throwing me on to the ground.
Stunned, I jump up and grab the child my car struck, looking for injuries. He has a little welt on the right side of his forehead, but otherwise seems well. A huge sigh of relief surges through me and I embrace him in my arms. I see his mother, the other kids and his father at a distance. Oddly enough, they just look at me and smile. They do not seem to be worried so much about the child as about me. Somehow, I know that they won’t take this matter to the police.
On waking the first impulse was huge relief from the realization that this was just a dream! Then, the fear arose that this might be an event which will happen in the future because so many of my dreams, especially the realistic ones, often manifest in the material world just as I dreamed them. I reviewed the dream, looking for clues to indicate this wasn’t such a prophetic dream. While the dream was extremely realistic, especially the feeling I had when hitting the child, there were elements that seemed symbolic. For example, I noticed that in the dream my car was red. I don’t own a red car and probably wouldn’t buy one since I find the color too intense to look at for long periods of time. So I decided that this dream wasn’t prophetic of actually hitting a real child and left the dream alone.
For a long while, and after several repetitive dreams which clearly were begging for attention, I finally summoned the courage to look at this dream. I chose to use the dreamwork paradigm of everything in the dream as being a part of myself. The young boy in the dream, because he was male, represented something work related, and because he was young, represented creative potential that was still developing. The age of the boy indicated a work related project that has gone on 4 or 5 years. I thought of my creative and meaningful work in teaching dreams which had gone on for about 4 or 5 years. A sinking feeling in me told me I was hitting on the correct interpretation. At the time, I indeed felt like this child of my creative labors had taken a hit, not by anything deliberate on my part but just because of the choices I felt compelled to make as I tried to earn a living. Each time I had this dream of hitting a child, I was considering putting my major efforts and energy into taking a well-paying but less than desirable job that would meet my financial needs. However, in doing so, I would endanger the growth of this child. The guilt, grief, and horror were rising to consciousness. Fortunately, the kid’s parents, perhaps representing my higher self, were telling me not worry. They understood. Indeed, when reflecting on this dream while still in bed, a voice from my intuition said in a gentle but informative way, “Don’t make a big deal of this!” Just getting this message provided an odd counter balance to the guilt, grief and horror.
While the child took a minor hit, it was OK. After I felt the child was safe and comforted, I wondered how I would upturn my car to get on my way again. Now, the real problem was how to get back on track after such a near disaster.
Since then, I noticed that every time I considered taking a paying job rather than taking the financial risk of continuing to do the creative but less financially reliable work of writing, teaching and life coaching, this dream of either hitting or nearly hitting a child would repeat itself. My dreams were telling to trust more and continue to nourish and not endanger the creativity within me. Later, as if to confirm my interpretation, I dreamed of three children telling me they want to take me some place I considered special. It gave me hope and made me realize that failing to nurture my creative endeavors would be as traumatic as hitting a child.
I have another whirlwind moment to share.
After I turned this blog back on yesterday I felt the need to get away for a while. To draw near to the Lord. And as I pulled out of the drive it was very obvious there was a power struggle going on. I could feel it in the air. As if there is a battle heading up in huge proportions. I felt as if I were in the middle of it.
I got a milkshake and I did a once through of the thrift shop- went on my way praying over a bed (frame) that would cost about one tenth of the one I had dreamed up in my head for her majesty's birthday present in two weeks. I prayed it would still be there when I had money in hand, and the price would be down to one I feel comfortable paying for a used item.
I was just minding my own business.
No, not for a bed.
For the Lord.
I turned onto the main street, and I began to go up the hill by the hospital (on my way to the river to be alone with the Lord). As I began to accelerate up the hill, a trucker pulled up in the left lane (had his left turn signal on, so I thought, Okay?!). I was in the right lane.
Something said to give that truck the once over so I could identify it. Couldn't figure out why I need to do that, until it began to pull over into the right lane (left turn signal still blinking).
He didn't even see me.
He kept pulling into my lane where I was.
Fear and anger almost overcame me.
Finally there was a parking lot right across from the hospital.
With nearly 40 years of dreamwork experience, one thing I can say for certain about my dreams is that the archetypal energy of healing at all levels, spiritual, psychological and physical has been expressed in myriad symbols, processes and themes, indicating to me that the primary purpose of dreams is to heal and make whole.
Learning to recognize when and how healing is at work within is a fascinating aspect of the study of dreams. It was one of the first benefits I clearly saw from keeping a dream journal. (See my blog 6 Health Related Benefits of Keeping a #Dream Journal.) As I grew more adept at working with dreams, I learned that they could be used to diagnose, treat and monitor the progress of any kind of ailment. Over the years, I learned to request information about a piece of health information prior to getting the specific lab results to verify the accuracy of that test. I have found my dreams to be up to this point in time 100% accurate and I have been doing this for more than ten years. And last but not least, I saw healings take place within my dreams which then manifested in my body.
If you want to become adept at exploring your health from the dream perspective, do the following:
Many doctors now are beginning to see the helpfulness of dreams in staying healthy. My doctor always takes my health dreams seriously and so should yours! Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine, is said to have learned about the value of dreams and their relationship to health at an asclepion, an ancient type of hospital which was dedicated to the god of healing, Asclepius. The caduceus, the symbol of medicine which comes to us from this ancient era, depicts snakes wrapped around the rod of Asclepius.
It’s not that I’m too sensitive, I just have an excellent radar of what gives me energy and what takes it away. The problem is I need to listen to that radar as the built-in gift that it is!
My Radar showed me this week the 10 things that send me backwards into a radio dial of YUCK vs. YAY while on the Internet.
Okay, now that you are annoyed and bothered with me, let’s go for the opposite.
I check on the little babies every day.
The last two weeks have been crazy and emotional and well, WTF days. I grew up in New Jersey and have spent many days down the shore. Seeing boardwalks washed away and hearing family has no power has been adding to the crazy. Then there’s animal health issues and …you understand. You are going through the same crazy and wild stuff right now. I am so grateful for flower essences right now and some I’m guzzling! So, here’s
Bach Remedies can be found in most health food stores. And the other flower essences I mentioned can be found in my Essence store here.
Ironic that Nature and the environment is the one acting out with the storms, and yet Flower Essences, straight from Nature, is what can help us heal and deal with those changes.
I haven’t blogged for awhile and I apologize, dear readers. I’ve been busy with Designing Fairy Cinema and writing my next book; not to mention adjusting to Giant Puppy’s needs. (Okay, I just mentioned it.) Actually, she’s been really good.
I wanted to write about overwhelm, which is one of the biggest issues sensitive folks encounter. I thought, why not write about the topic when I’m feeling the least overwhelmed? I’ve pretty much had gotten so used to that frantic state I miss the adrenaline rush. Back last year and half of this year I was dealing with taking care of an incontinent elderly beagle, Grad School classes, my business, and a part time job. I was stuck in the fast lane to get everything done and pretty much lived on sugar to keep my natural humming bird energy up. I loved the classes and I miss Sarah, but I’m starting to adjust to enjoy the calm, natural energy.
It’s easy to overwhelm when you are sensitive. We take in so much information at once at a deep level that it’s easy to tip that balance in the red. And if you are in a vulnerable space emotionally, it’s really easy to blow your fuse.
I remember a few years back going to an outdoor concert with a friend. I took one look at the huge crowded line in front of me and almost blew a gasket right there. My breathing quickened, and I forgot about my feet. The line was moving at a caterpillar pace to the ticket booth. We weren’t even in the stadium and I could feel panic rising. We made it in and there were lines of chairs on the lawn in front of the stage and bleachers everywhere. Thank goodness the stadium was outside otherwise I’d have felt trapped.
I asked my friend if we could sit in an aisle so I wasn’t sandwiched in and he didn’t understand and ignored my request. I needed some air and psychic space around me. More and more people took the seats surrounding us. I couldn’t breathe. What made things worse, was the performer wasn’t on time! So the waiting went on and on with me stuck like a sardine. This was too many damn people! All this energy around me. I could feel hopes, dreams, thoughts, issues. Yeah, sure I put up some protection, visualized a couple bubbles. But that was a lot of people. I could even shame myself for not being able to stand firm against all these energies. Yeah, that’s realistic.
Once the concert finally started I was in better shape. Focusing on something fun really blocks out the noise. I sang, I tried to dance in my chair, but I still felt boxed in.
And then even my friend started to crowd me. My friend wanted to go in the casino afterwards. Hey, why not? Let’s see if Ronni can blow a fuse in public and explode in little pieces all over the flashing little light machines. Thank goodness for my body. I got a migraine that tried to push out all those visiting energies. I had to go home. I tried to explain, but I wasn’t being heard, so I stormed out.
Is there something wrong with me for not enjoying that? Shouldn’t I toughen up? Heck no! Part of being deliciously sensitive, is knowing yourself. If you were allergic to peanuts, would you scream and tell yourself that you needed to toughen up? No! You’d frickin’ avoid those peanuts at all costs. If I were put into that situation again, I’d do a few self care things:
Overload happens not just in crowded situations. I can feel crowded by other people. If I have a lot of demands coming at me, I will try to please everyone around me, make them happy, do a good job, and then I can overload on that pushing energy. I will take on way more than I should.
I remember teaching book illustrating with a fellow artist at a Montessori school. The kids were so lovely, creative and open-eyed. I fell in love with them. But those teacher hours are slightly insane. There was rarely a break away from the energies of these kids who each individually demanded a great deal of attention, which I was trying to give. I hadn’t learned at that point how to know my limits and regulate my energy. I would come home at the end of the day either bursting into tears or having signs of physical overwhelm.
Now keep in mind, being sensitive doesn’t mean I can’t handle a lot or am “delicate.” That’s super important to point out. Honey, I’m stronger than most people I know. Ask my closest friends. The amount of stuff I can handle emotionally far outweighs my physical sensitivity.
There’s nothing wrong with us. No, we shouldn’t be living in bubbles. We are what we are. We’ve got that fine-tuned nervous system brilliant for some things (and amazing gifts that come with that sensitivity, that you will notice the non-sensitive flock to for answers) but it just comes with some special care instructions.
A little note about upcoming classes. I will only be offering the core classes this November. The Empath Skills class now comes with a little yummy twist (a mini reading). Check out and sign up for it here. If you want to be informed about the upcoming books in the Sensitive series, do subscribe to this site (sign-up found in the right sidebar).