in all blogs
Viewing: Blog Posts Tagged with: spiritual lessons, Most Recent at Top [Help]
Results 1 - 25 of 112
By: Ronni A. Hall
Blog: Designing Fairy
(Login to Add to MyJacketFlap
after death communication
, Angel Guide communication
, Animal Communication
, being sensitive
, empath class
, Empath skills
, encouraging creativity
, fairy deck
, fairy lessons
, healing fairy alphabet
, lessons from the fairy
, online courses
, online fairy class
, spiritual lessons
, Empath School
, fairy online school
, Add a tag
Lots of Changes
Things are looking a little different here…
I spent my Sunday playing on the computer rearranging, assessing, playing with my websites, and cuddling dogs in my jammies.
It seemed the Empath classes really wanted their own place, and didn’t want to be confused with the fairy/nature classes. Ha ha! So, they get their own school. Seriously, I have fairy students who love the whole Nature healing thing, and then I have my Sensitive students, who think the whole fairy thing is a little crazy. So, this makes sense. Each needs their own place to land here.
For January, I’m making Fairy Online School a little more accessible and more “self-serve.” I’ll still be available once a week for each class to answer questions, and talk about your lovely homework, but it’s more a no-pressure, have fun kind of thing. There’s two start dates, each on a Friday, for your convenience. So, if you finally want to learn about flower essences, or commune with Nature, tackle those empathic skills, or dive into animal communication, this is the place. Some classes will be retired. So sad. And some regrouped, but the student favorites will remain.
I am not doing any readings anymore. Sad too. I’m focusing more on the writing and teaching others how to communicate themselves.
I’m working on new books in the HELP! I’M SENSITIVE series and the Fairy Deck, finally! Here’s a teeny little peek.
I’ve used some of the cards for my 2013 Calendar, and I really think it’s time for the cards to be, well, cards! So, if you see me on Facebook, do encourage me to finish them! I’m hoping for an early Spring launch, but we will see how that plays out with all the other creative projects I tackle at once (creative ADD).
I’ve been working diligently on my Story/Design Studio site also. I’ve been having a blast learning about video editing and storytelling used for teaching. PURE BLISS! Okay, maybe some of the program learning has been a little frustrating and filled with curse words, but the challenge of learning has been very, very fun.
Cyber Monday Through Wednesday Sale!
I want to thank all my new followers from Pinterest! My little quiz, Are you a sensitive, is practically going viral! For all of you, and my loyal friends and students, I give you Cyber Monday through Wednesday sale on classes! Sign up for January classes now at a whopping $25 off. It’s my thank you to you and to entice you to try out Empath or Fairy School. Yay! Go here to Empath School, here to Fairy Online School to sign up right away before the sale ends! These are crazy cool prices.
Take the Poll
I’m curious what YOU want to see birthed from Fairy Online or Empath School for 2014. Take the poll! I was considering creating a storytelling your life course also with all the cool skills I learned and can share with you. Would you be interested in that? What changes do you want or need? I’d love to hear from you!
Take Our Poll
from my FAIRY MUSINGS book (coming this Fall), & Help! I’m Sensitive
I’m feeling in a generous mood since we are all a little cranky with all that is happening with the government and we need some fun to focus on! Big sale on Fairy Online School this month. You can sign up for that class you’ve had your eye on and then get the gift of half off another class for later or for double the fun! That’s crazy good!
OR, sign up with a friend and she gets her class half off (or you do!) Let’s spread the word about Fairy Online School so we can all be creative/intuitive and have fun.
By: Ronni A. Hall
Blog: Designing Fairy
(Login to Add to MyJacketFlap
, spiritual guidance
, spiritual lessons
, impossible mountains
, not your shit
, uphill climb
, Add a tag
First off, I hoped you enjoyed Animal Communication Month and I want to thank all my fabulous guests who talked of their passion regarding animal communication. Each are wonderful women who have some very important teachings to share.
It’s been a crazy last few months, and quite honestly, I’ve been hesitant to share my thoughts here as I had felt my space was invaded. That’s a yucky place to be in and I am claiming it back. And with this claiming, I want to share what I’ve learned lately. Perhaps, you can relate, and then we can all support each other.
It’s not your shit*
1. Other people’s shit is their shit. Okay, this one is hard to deal with. When someone acts a certain way, I guarantee it’s their own story going round and round in their head that may have nothing to do with you at all. With one of my relatives, I had this amazing shift when I realized I had a long-standing reaction taking things personally, which HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. It WAS my shit of why I took it personally. When I realized what my shit was, after a lot of learning and figuring things out, I gained some understanding and some real peace, and I didn’t react so strongly. I was able to detach, step back and see this. So, basically, we react to others when it’s really our own shit. Unless, of course, someone is just being a shit towards us, then we are reacting to that.
Beware Impossible Mountains
2. There’s many ways to climb a mountain. That means if you are sensitive and hate crowds, don’t think the only way to go out and teach is to lecture to large groups, and it’s the only way for you to be successful. If you hate doing networking luncheons, then network one-on-one through social media that’s more comfortable for you. I had a beautiful writer friend years ago who wrote children’s books. She was truly gifted with words. But the one thing that stopped her in her tracks of being truly successful was she didn’t want to do book signings. She was dreadfully shy and this was the kiss of death for her. Because of this, she didn’t pursue publishing her own children’s books to avoid that fate.
I had a similar experience when I starred in a television show years ago. I knew then I wanted to write and publish a book. I was told, that’s not how it works. “You have to BE somebody first.” I am a stubborn mule. That was too big a mountain to climb. I published my book anyway and I’m glad I did.
Is this the result I want?
3. We need to ask ourselves are my actions or behaviors giving me what I want? If I want connection, healing, resolve, love, understanding, is how I am acting bringing that about or is it bringing others further away from me? If you don’t feel heard, kindly ask someone to listen. If you are angry, let it out in a healthy way. If you need answers, go do some research and ask questions. Cruel/nasty/mean/angry result = cruel/nasty/mean/angry. Hate feeds hate. It’s a lose-lose situation, always. I’ll never forget my Verizon phone company interaction. The first customer service rep was nasty towards me, so I got nasty. The second rep heard and understood me; validating my feelings. I softened and the interaction changed. There was a healthy resolve.
The hokey-pokey is not what it’s all about
4. I think we all just want to be loved and to love. Love and connection is what it is all about. A world without real, honest connection is one scary, dark, lonely place. Dogs are the greatest teacher of love. It’s hard to not feel loved when a giant puppy is licking your face. Now unconditional love is their majors in life and they have so much to teach us. It’s harder as humans a great deal of time to love like that but we are learning. And we also do need to look at what unconditional love is. It’s not allowing cruelty, especially towards ourselves.
You have every right to keep out what doesn’t feel safe
5. As sensitive people, a great deal of us didn’t learn this. We didn’t know how to create boundaries. We felt we weren’t allowed to. But this is a big one. And you can leave situations that don’t feel safe and people who don’t hear you, or at least create boundaries around those. Lots of times folks write me here asking about spirits that bother them or scary situations, and it’s the same with living people. I used to walk the girls pass one house on my street with two dogs that had no fence. The one dog was a loving, loopy kind of being who in her enthusiasm knocked over elderly Sarah. I didn’t appreciate that nor did Sarah. The other dog, a puppy, was aggressive. She’d zip into the street and bare teeth at Emma. After two times of this, I had a long scream at the dog, which I’m sure the whole neighborhood heard. “No! Unacceptable!” I told her. And the puppy ran back into her house. I then had a long talk with her person. We have a right not to be bullied in our environment. My one friend has a very sweet angel group online. She’s a gentle, kind creature whose whole purpose in life is to help others. She was recently attacked cruelly on her own site by a man who didn’t believe in what she did. He clearly needed to go somewhere else then, where he belonged, but she had every right to block him from that group. And if you are in an environment that doesn’t keep you safe, doesn’t respect the rights or well-being of its members, get out of that environment. It won’t change.
And finally, avoid what feels like an uphill climb
Sometimes, we do need to fight a good fight and keep going. We may be fighting an injustice or we don’t want to give up on our talents, and shouldn’t. But there are other times we are straining, trying, putting out a lot of energy, and it means we are going against the current made for us. We aren’t getting enough support either to help us or to back what we are doing. This causes such a strong fatigue that fills your bones. Believe me, I know. Those are the times to step back and regroup. Follow what does give you energy and where there is support. That’s your bread crumbs for the new direction. Oh, and learn from me. Drowning in resentment over lack of support, really, really doesn’t work. Don’t get stuck there.
Can you relate to these? What have you been learning?
*apologies to those who don’t appreciate cursing or the word “shit,” as I am originally from Jersey and we all learn that word while learning how to drive and that word is perfect for what I am describing
And speaking of support, if this writing post has helped you, consider buying my HELP I’M SENSITIVE book, or FAIRY ONLINE SCHOOL written classes. I am also busy completing the sequels to that book. Keep posted on developments, by SUBSCRIBING TO THIS SITE.
Sharing the process of creating a book…
Yes, this will be easy. Just put the class into a book. It’s already written.
Oh, no, where’s that drawing? Does it even exist anymore?
I don’t like that part, or that part, and that part needs rewriting.
What a mess.
I need a whole new chapter 8!
Now that heading should be on THIS page, not that page. Why won’t it move?
Stupid computer program! Why the heck won’t that picture go there?
Oh, it looks good. I like this.
What do you mean the drawing isn’t 300dpi? I changed it three times. It SHOULD be 300dpi.
Head really, really hurts.
That font looks awful. Why does that font look awful? I don’t know. Time for cookies.
It’s really coming along!
I should have added this. But if I add this, I need to add this.
Still hate that chapter. How can I fix it?
That’s what I forgot to include!
That picture still looks weird.
Now I have to move everything around again. Pages aren’t lining up. Why do I do this? Am I crazy?
I can’t even look at it today. Where’s the cookies?
Wow, I like how it’s coming along. Everything is flowing nicely. It all looks seamless.
OMG! There’s a huge typo! Why didn’t I see that? Am I blind? What else did I miss?
Two friends don’t like the title. Crap.
Cute title! That will work.
Why didn’t it upload? I sat here for hours and it didn’t upload? I need to smack someone or something.
What if no one reads it? What if ends up in the discount pile bin in Walmart? Maybe I should tweak it a little here, a little there.
Time to just jump into the fire. It looks good. Reads well. I need to stop picking at it.
One more change…
Couldn’t sleep. Wondered if I should add a paragraph to chapter nine.
I think I just had an entire dream I edited the book in my sleep.
Ah, acceptance. It’s completed. Uploading and ready to go.
Well, that was easy. Let’s do it again! Next book…
Wow. There is really a lot of dark stuff in this world and things we don’t understand. This has been on my mind a great deal lately. How do we deal with it or handle it? One thing I know for sure, the one thing we can never do, is become dark ourselves. Fighting dark with dark doesn’t work. I was heading that way with my anger, and all it does it corrupts me inside and makes me something that I am not. I don’t know about you but I’d like to follow that spark of light and hope. Isn’t that what it is all about- being here?
We bring in that beauty and what is truly good in this world. We look for it.
Like little fireflies we move towards the light and all that feels good, like being loved by beautiful friends, getting puppy kisses, and doing what we love to do and what excites us.
And we try to have some compassion for what isn’t light and those broken, hurt pieces in others.
And then there’s cake. Cake is definitely something from the light.
I love stories. I especially like how stories can help other people heal, learn and grow, or to be uplifted. We need our stories. That was a big reason why I went back to Graduate School, to learn how to technically create visual stories that teach in all the ways you can reach people.
I am often pulled into other people’s stories, being so sensitive. I have a tough problem with the Facebook Feed often. I get pulled into stories of death, illness, misfortune and pain, and my heart opens so much I can feel it like it is my own, which I know, most of you can relate to. I can’t look at a photo of a dog being mistreated even if it’s to promote a good cause. Those animal communication skills just plug right in and it’s painful. I want to run right into that photo and save the dog, or the pig, or the cow!!! I hear about grief or loss, and I feel and understand their pain. And yes, I create strong boundaries as an Empath to protect me. But I am learning, a really big lesson, that this is about Responsibility.
I’m over-responsible, most sensitive folks are. But just because I can feel your pain and your hurt spots, doesn’t mean I’m the one to fix it. I really want to, but I can’t. I use to carry everyone’s pain and my old role long ago was to be the one willingly to be the “dumpee.” I will hold your pain. Being so strong, I knew I could do it. As I’ve been in this new role for a long time of not being the one that carries and the “dumpee,” I can clearly look at why I was willing to be in this role.
I’m thinking as a sensitive, little young empath I felt the pain of those I loved the most around me and I sure didn’t want them to feel that. I wanted to make it better. As a child, I probably theorized that since the world revolved around me, which we learn that children at that age think, it was my problem or issue to do something about it. As an adult, I’ve learned it’s not compassionate for me to do this. Not only do I take away other people’s lessons to learn, but their healing to come out from it. And they aren’t getting a chance to be accountable to their own responsibilities either. As healers or teachers we can’t do the healing. I’ve also managed to allow abuse to come at me and be treated horribly, which would definitely come under self-abuse. Ironically, why was I not okay with seeing others suffer, but it was just fine for me to suffer and carry all that pain?
I did a web search today on my first book as I worked on my marketing, as I prepare to share my second book. And I had a wonderful, deep cry. The good kind. I read about a beautiful soul’s sharing how my book helped her and her story to feel not alone in her journey. Finding this, was what it is all about. And reading her story and her reflecting back to me my words that I needed to hear today, the gift came back to me full circle. Thank you!
Now, looking back, I see that I really have transformed my role. I don’t have to be the “dumpee,” or hold other people’s pain for them, and I definitely don’t have to make it better, even though it still really hurts to see anyone suffer or be in pain. It’s not my job to fix it or for it to be okay for someone to be abusive towards me for any reason. And I am not responsible for things I didn’t do–that’s not my story.
A couple of weeks back, I was really angry at being dumped at unfairly and at the injustices in the world, and I went into a dark, angry place. I wanted to be heard which is good, but that anger only polluted inside me and made me something I’m not, nor want to be. It didn’t affect the world around me I was angry at, and I didn’t want to become abusive either. I always want to achieve to understand.
But now I can share what I have learned and healed in my story, always with the intent to be kind and to help, so another can heal too, and that’s a much better, happier/healthier role for me to be in.
(Ah, now to to teach this to my very empathic dog )
I’ve been noticing lots of butterflies lately. Last week, while shopping with my friend Ruth, a butterfly zoomed right into our faces. I took that as a good sign.
Butterflies show up at times of big transformations and change and when you need signs of hope.
I founds some interesting links about the butterfly symbol. One fact that surprised me is the life cycle of a butterfly is only one month!
Butterfly Spirit Animal and totem
Neat butterfly website
What do butterflies mean to you?
Take Our Poll
IMAP101: Your Intuitive Map class
START DATE: September 20th; Registration open now.
What we will cover:
Where the heck am I going? Having one of those moments? Feel like the ground underneath is shaky and changing and not sure which way to go? I am excited to share my creative and intuitive process that has helped me gain clarity. Sure, we need to do research, gain facts and information, but too much of the left brain stuff boggles your mind and wears you down. The creative, intuitive voice needs to be heard too! I remember years and years ago, when I started out as a freelance illustrator, I hated making the rounds of submitting to markets and research. But thank goodness, I found a better, more creative way to get to my destination without all the should’s and should nots!
Get a clear MAP on your skills, gifts and loves. We often lose our way and forget our unique gift to the world! Have fun discovering, playing with different exercises, and together we will create a map of making your next steps intuitively clear.
This may be the only new class I will be creating this year, so, sign up fast!
The fun includes:
- 5 daily fun writing prompts to help you zero in
- Meditations to reach and hear your guidance
- Lots of fun collaging exercises
- Creative online exercises that will introduce you to new online tools that are fun
- Lots of resources you might not have known about
- Quotes and affirmations to help you on your path
- And walk away with a technique to help you next time you need a map to help you where you are going
Intrigued? Need a map? Go over HERE to read details and sign up! Subscribe to the site and get a special early bird discount!
By: Ronni A. Hall
Blog: Designing Fairy
(Login to Add to MyJacketFlap
after death communication
, Animal Communication
, Empath skills
, fairy lessons
, fairy online school excerpts
, lessons from the fairy
, online courses
, online fairy class
, spiritual lessons
, teaching videos
, Add a tag
September Offerings Start September 20th :
For the Sensitive and the Empath:
For the Nature/Fairy Lover:
For developing your intuition:
Classes include personal or group Schoology course page, once a week instructor check-in, fun links and add-ons, cool illustrated lessons and fun homework! Go sign up for the September Fall Session!
There are several classes to choose from and classrooms open up tomorrow! Head on over HERE to choose your class and sign up! Coming up this week, we talk to a new animal communicator/healer I know you will enjoy.
Repeat several times a day until needed:
“It’s not my stuff. It’s not my stuff. I don’t have to fix it. I don’t have to take it personally.”
and for something fun…What I Learned from the Movies…
I’m a big movie fan and from watching lots of movies I’ve learned a great deal. There does seem to be distinct differences between the movie world and ours.
- If you are being chased by a homicidal maniac, do not trip and fall. If you do fall, do not just lie there and shake, get the %$# up and run away even faster.
- If you ever hear scary music playing in the background, know that something bad is going to happen or someone who is evil or the “bad guy” just entered your picture. (Wouldn’t that be amazingly great if we were warned like that?)
- Everything that is playing out in your life right now is like one big story. Look at the connections and the symbolism/metaphors to figure out what’s really going on.
- Some folks are really just catalysts or bit players in your life, even plot devices, to create big action that creates big change in the end.
- We can ask for happy endings or at least work towards them.
- Some folks are just here to play the villains this time around. Be free to say BOOOOOO when they are around.
- Popcorn really does make the stories in your life look more interesting. At least it tastes really good.
- Your life might start out sad and upsetting, have lots of trauma and crisis in the middle, but in the end it all makes sense in some way (or at least makes a good movie).
- In movie world, everyone is more productive. Unfortunately, in real life everyone has to stop and take a pee or needs to eat a few times a day. I can’t imagine Harrison Ford stopping in the middle of being chased by an enormous ball to ask where the nearest bathroom is, and in some movies, you wonder if the main character ever eats at all.
- And in that movie world, everyone can go to sleep and wake up with their makeup on. I find this fascinating because the times I did this, I rashed out and looked quite wonky in the morning.
There you have it. Movies are very helpful in giving us a better perspective of our lives, and provide at the very least, a gratefulness that we can eat real food.
EPISODE 2: a story, NEW, about possibilities being born. Featured product involving fairies. And, creative idea involving visual journaling goals.
We are vulnerable when we create
When we create anything, whether a piece of writing, a crayoned drawing or succulent dish, we are vulnerable. We reveal a little part of ourselves that was tucked safely away. As we grow stronger, we are able to bring even more and more of our creations into the world. What helps the most is having Validating Souls surrounding us. These folks mirror our worth back to us and support us when we stumble and step into potholes. They remind us who we really are under the costumes of what and who we think we should be.
Those potholes are the opposite of Validating Souls. They come in the form of people. They aren’t bad people by far, just different species then you. It’s like you came from the tribe of Ookie Dookies who all loved music and liked to write and were round and short. Some time long ago you wandered off from the tribe to find berries and got lost. You were found and taken in by the Ipsy Lipsies. They loved and cared for you but still look at you like you are a little strange because you aren’t into science and math and have long arms and legs. This whole other tribe doesn’t even think like you — their vision and perception have a whole other view because they wear very different glasses to see through — big red, solid frames with angular curves.
It’s hard for a sensitive person to not feel rejected when their Ipsy Lipsie tribe comes to visit and looks at you like you have three heads. They just can’t see you, not with those glasses that they wear, and that’s hard not to take it personally when you feel everything so deeply. You just want to feel accepted and that you belong.
The other day I sent out Episode 3 into the world of my web show. Those web shows are a part of me that have long been forgotten and want to be heard. I ran into an old acquaintance the other day. I sent her the link to my show that is on my new video Tumblr blog. On that blog, I share all my video creations, my sketches and my process. So far, I only share other folks’ videos there if I am truly inspired and out of all the blog posts so far, I only shared one. She wrote back thanking me profusely for sharing the link–she loved the video I posted, the video I didn’t create! My stomach fell to the floor. There wasn’t one comment about my work. I was back to being that little girl being raised by Ipsy Lipsies who had blended into the wallpaper and wasn’t seen.
To the rescue, was a few members of my Ookie Dookies. They heard my distress call from far away and came swarming in. “Loved the bird drawings, they are perfect,” my beautiful friends said. “I love your way with story.” They saw what I saw and showered me with shared visions. They speak my language.
I will remember this whenever I step into those potholes and fall deep in for several days. I will call out my distress call for my tribe. And of course, I will keep creating as I continue to grow strong.
I love to share what I’ve learned through story that usually has some whimsical illustrations or two. If you like my writing, consider taking one of my written classes, or buying my books. You can see my story studio here.
what I DO like – my Girls
We are all trying to “find” ourselves underneath the masks, the mud, the shoulds…
I am discovering… that a very strong voice inside of me is emerging. It’s vocal right now, and it’s loud.
We all have that voice. It’s our soul, sometimes whispering, sometimes screaming. And screaming can be through our bodies’ cries of illness or through the complaints from our rebellious spirit.
I am discovering…that there are a lot of things I should like that I really don’t like, and I’m tired of saying I like it. Perhaps you can relate. In no particular order here’s a small list:
- I should like Twitter, but I don’t. It’s like a fast-moving escalator with everyone screaming at once with no real connection to each other. Sometimes, there is a voice that comes through the madness you can hear but it’s like finding someone waving in a crowd in an airport. That’s too much work to find them. I also hate new followers that already have 300,000 followers and don’t give a crap who I am or what I do.
- Many vegetables. I eat broccoli, but it doesn’t taste great. I only like green beans that come in the can and have salt in them. I do like salads because you can add all kinds of yummy things to them and they are interesting visually.
- Being friendly to people I don’t like. I have come to the conclusion from age and experience that you don’t need to be nice to mean or jerky people. They don’t understand it and they don’t appreciate it. Often, being nice is an invitation for them to take advantage of you.
- Parties. I HATE small talk. I bore easily which is probably not a good trait. I like to talk about things in depth or hear people’s stories.
- Okay, I don’t like hearing stories about health issues. Really don’t like that. I am visual and empathic so I don’t need to hear about your last stay in the hospital where they cut into your stomach and ripped out all the bloody parts.
- Insensitive sensitive people. These folks may not be truly sensitive, or maybe they are and they become so hardened to protect themselves they have become the insensitive people who say ridiculously insensitive stuff that comes out of their mouths like projectile vomit.
- Surrender. It’s probably the definition I don’t like that is incorrect. And there’s lots attached to it including TRUST, but when you’ve trusted and it went horribly wrong, it’s super hard to do. Goes along with the one line I hate more than anything, “God only gives you what you can handle.” Bull poopy. The biggest bull poopy I’ve ever read. Then you feel guilty you are strong.
- I always bitch about this. I was even thinking about making a weekly post of spiritual sayings I found that don’t really say anything, or worse, are unrealistic. They usually fall into the category of “don’t worry and just be calm and at peace even though your house is on fire,” or “think and be like a monk even though you have bills to pay and a ton of responsibilities.”
- And finally, I’m supposed to like Facebook Biz pages…
I bitched the other day here about Facebook and ended up in the New York Times Small Business page “freeing myself from Facebook”. I think my rebellious, inner spirit called out to the rebellious spirit of the writer of that page. It was an interesting nod from the Universe/God that it’s okay for me to object to things I “should” like because everyone else says I should like it. It’s even okay to be negative! Wow, what a spiritual concept! It’s freeing. It’s empowering. Because by doing so, you walk your own path, and you learn who you are under all the mud.
Messages arrive in interesting ways…
The library had a ten cent book sale! They are demolishing the discount book building to build a brand new library building. There wasn’t much left when I arrived, but I was very attracted to this workbook immediately.
I flipped to this page.
Development of creative thinking? Elf language and create elf food? This is my kind of book.
I had goosebumps…looking at this fun book I felt back on path after getting a little knocked off. I remembered, Oh yeah. THIS IS what I love to do. Make learning fun. Engage the imagination. Drawings with stories. Maybe it was elf magic. But it gets weirder…
Last night I had a dream. I was moving out stuff from a room. I remarked how I didn’t have much furniture to move, only boxes. Inside a box I found a paper lantern. I thought in the dream, I didn’t know I had this. I forgot. I wrote in my journal the next morning:
Here I was in the 10 cent store with few books to choose from and I had this book in my hands — the elf workbook, and on page 160 there was the exact paper lantern I held in my hands in the dream. Interesting, eh?
Spaces available in several classes. To see the catalog and sign up, go here.
Anger is a good, healthy thing. It let’s you know when things are not right in your world.
Yesterday I had a pissy attack. I don’t usually care much for Twitter but it proved to be an excellent way to discharge my anger and frustration. I figured although I have over 400 followers, most of which are folks who don’t give a hoot what I do and who I am, that I was safe and could dump on my feed comfortably. It did seem to help.
Today I have some clarity. Do you ever notice that if you have one of those days, usually there’s a theme lesson that is happening. I was super angry at Verizon. This isn’t the first time my needs were ignored and I found myself with a huge overage bill that I did try to rectify but since I had upgraded online the new plan was in effect “incorrectly” so I had an extra $70.00 tacked on my bill. Not cool. I have a real problem with corporations that have different rules that don’t make much sense and don’t hear the individual. They did not earn my money nor they deserve that amount.
I was also very upset when I heard news of a situation with a former friend that was another “everyone is all happy and smiling but underneath is massive dysfunction that I can see but they won’t even talk about.” It’s the old Oleander experience I have lived with in the past. Everything is just fine, just drink the Coolaid. My usual response with both these situations is to want to scream and educate and show everyone, Hey! There’s a problem here. I want to warn people so they aren’t hurt! And I’ve lived in too many situations where I felt like I was in the middle of one of those horror movies where you are the only one seeing the evil alien behind the mask who is trying to take over Earth for destruction and no one believes you, because the alien looks just fine.
With the second situation, unfortunately, it’s not my problem. If someone’s lesson is to deal with an unhealthy individual, I can’t interfere. Unfortunately, in time, they will find that out–the mask will fall off. With Verizon, I could continue to try to convince them that there is an issue and jump up and down or I can…find a new phone company.
I often wrote about my problem with finding a good veterinarian and that situation finally shifted. I found a very kind one that will listen and is reasonable after kissing many toads that didn’t hear me or were very shaming. I guess when I look back at that situation when I was in it, I felt stuck in that endless cycle of discomfort until I got super pissy and realized I deserved to have what I needed and wanted. I didn’t have to play that dance anymore.
If my phone company doesn’t hear me I can look for one that will and that fits my needs. I don’t want to pay for a Share Everything Plan to save money when it’s just one phone!
And that toxic friend–obviously, I was in the middle of the lesson thinking I didn’t deserve more, and at the first signs of creepy behavior and red flags I should have ran the other way. Far away. Maybe that’s what I’m really upset about now. And that means no arguing, no trying to show or point out the alien in the mask, no trying to fix, or worse, heal them.
I still am fighting the urge to put up billboards for folks to stay away from certain organizations. So I finally learned that important lesson in that playing field. And some folks are still there–in school, so I need to have compassion, and not take away their schoolyard.
(screenshot from Leonie Dawson’s amazing website you need to check out)
Leonie, I just love your energy and your site. You are so filled with energy and magic and you always sound like you are having a party we all need to be a part of.
I am not a Leonie.
Here’s the thing. When I read one of Leonie’s posts and see her site, I think, “I need to do my marketing LIKE THAT.” I need to have that cute sign up form and be so smooth in my marketing, and and and…
I now have a headache. I have that feeling you get when you have a dentist appointment later in the day. I’m not an extrovert. I can be very social but there’s a difference. If I had my choice I’d probably spend most of my days in an art cave surrounded by forest and fairies and dogs just creating stuff. I have moments where I don’t even want to be near people. It’s too exhausting.
But that little voice persists. That’s how you do your marketing!
No. That’s the wrong shoes for me.
I need do everything in a way that works for me and IS me. I’m a sensitive, and an introvert and I love one-on-one connections and networking. I overwhelm with too much of anything.
But, Ronni! Everything I read about marketing says I need to do X and B and have podcasts, and….
If that works for you, I say go for it! The biggest lesson I am learning is that things should be simple, with everything. They need to flow. And flowing is different for every person.
But that voice in my head persisted. So, I did what I do–be the detective. I found evidence. Even Leonie Dawson, who started her blog in 2004, was way different and took awhile to find her shoes. You can check out her earlier 2004 blog posts on her blog.
You need time to find your own shoes.
After years and years of trying on different shoes and growing out of some, I feel I am finding the things that are easy for me and are fun that match. And hopefully, you are too. Keep doing those things. And remember to just be you.
Hey, if you liked my post, be sure to subscribe to my blog/website, order my books and just have fun here.
I am learning…
Happy to report that since I expressed my upset on Social Media with how I had been treated with Customer Service at Verizon, I received a phonecall from Verizon trying to remedy the problem! Ed, my new customer service rep, was in contrast, very kind and helpful. He explained to me that he tries to put himself in the customer’s shoes and how he/she would see things. I attracted another empath! Unlike the first rep who was very shaming and assumed I did something “wrong,” he was very understanding. He corrected the problem.
This whole experience has shown me how far I’ve come in how I want to be treated in the world. A part of me would get lost in that shame space even if I had done nothing wrong, so I probably accepted that behavior in the past. (Perhaps because as a sensitive, I am very over-responsible.)
The Bad Little Girl Syndrome
I remember a year ago or so taking Emma to the old veterinarian who was excellent in knowledge but known for her cold approach. She shamed me for going to another veterinarian and even the holistic vet prior to her. She frowned at me and said kangaroo dog food would be the only food option we had and if I didn’t take her suggestion I was “wrong.” And then I was shamed at the reception counter when I complained of the extra charges that were added that I was unaware of.
I went home that day feeling like the little girl who forgot to do her chores and was punished. I had one hell of a migraine that night.
My entire adoptive parenting experience was about dealing with folks who didn’t hear me and shamed me for what they felt I “should have” done. I was treated horribly by the child, and most everyone involved, and that’s an understatement.
But obviously something huge had shifted this time around.
I found the new veterinarian and when Sarah was gravely ill, I had TWO wonderful veterinarians (including her holistic vet) aiding her in her care and HEARING me. I was told “you are doing a great job.” I had all the support on all levels I needed to take care of her in the end.
Big chunks of my life broke away where I wasn’t getting my needs met or heard. I broke away from organizations that didn’t hear me at all. This time around when I ask for help or assistance, it’s there and it’s excellent support.
I attracted a part time job I love to do that feeds me in every way and I’m told “Just keep doing what you are doing. We love it.” What a change!
You won’t go backwards
And then there was Ed to show me this. Some folks say that the Universe gives you tests. In this case, I got a little taste of what I used to experience. I needed to stand my ground and ask for the new energy where I am now comfortable living at, and by doing so, it gave me confidence I won’t have to have those negative experiences anymore now that I had the new game plan or map for how I want my life to be like.
Sometimes, things may be hopeless and you need to grieve. When Sarah got sick, I knew in my gut, this wasn’t something I could heal in anyway. She was very old after all, and the diagnosis was bad. It was time. You can feel that energy of endings, and you just submit to it.
Then there’s the miracles.
Whenever my friends are facing hopeless situations, I tell them about Cowboy Dave.
Years ago, during the time everyone had crazy adjustable mortgages, when the housing crisis occurred, we were faced with the challenge of selling our beloved home. We’d be there for four years, and truly loved it, but we felt stuck in an ever-expanding payment that was growing unreasonable. To make matters worst, my husband quit a job he truly enjoyed, but he had to make a tough decision, because he was being treated so horribly and unfairly at work, he felt he had no choice.
We went through what most folks had to go through–the awful feeling of threatening letters coming in the mail, and the overwhelming worry about losing our home. We decided to try and sell our home and went through two different realtors. Things were getting closer and closer to the wire where we were running out of time and the house would be in foreclosure.
Help arrived! A couple came to the door and handed us brochures. With smooth-butter voices they promised to take the house off our hands and hand us $10,000 to run away and start a new life. My head ached at the time, like it does when negativity is sqirming around me. I protested.
The wife’s smile turned into a straight line, and her fists gripped the couch. Her husband turned on his bully button. “You have no choice!” he yelled. He explained they were the only option and we were crazy to turn down this deal. “This is reality and how things are. You’ll walk away with nothing,” he shouted at us.
When they left, we felt bullied and destroyed. It was like a huge hole grew into the ground and we fell right down into it.
And I then got weird guidance.
We were to expect more. Expect miracles. We called the bully couple back and told them no. We were throwing ourselves into the mercy of God and the Universe. It was crazy and illogical.
Two days later, we got a phone call from the realtor. A man wanted to check out the house.
Cowboy Dave, we later affectionately called him, was another realtor from a different company. He was a little old man with a big cowboy hat and a smile that lit up the room. He let his buyer in and then explained to us that this man was given a long list of houses to consider and he pointed to ours. “This is the house I want,” he had said. He lovingly went room to room and the air popped with his excitement. We waited in anticipation for his decision.
Only a few days later, we got his offer. We made over $80,000 in our sale. This was at a time when the house crisis just began, and houses were not selling, much less for the asking price.
When I am feeling like a situation is looking beyond hopeless, I ask myself if it has that ending energy and I need to acquiesce and accept, or do I need to ask and wait for a Cowboy Dave moment.
By: Ronni A. Hall
Blog: Designing Fairy
(Login to Add to MyJacketFlap
, DES of Colorado
, expecting more
, having a voice
, judge cele hancock
, stifling your voice
, verde valley guidance clinic dysfunction
, yavapai county
, Yavapai judicial system corruption
, Add a tag
View Next 25 Posts
I had a good rant the other day about expecting more from people in regards to how things are handled, including their own responsibility, and being decent and fair with other people. We expect companies we deal with to act ethically and to listen to their customers’ concerns. We expect the authority we go to for help to listen to us and be honest. We expect the law and the judicial system to be fair and unbiased. We expect when we ask things from God we’ve been dreaming for, that good things will come, not horrible, ghastly things.
And then we are deeply disappointed.
I have clarity on a BIG LESSON. You shouldn’t expect something different from people or systems who are very dysfunctional and have no desire to learn, grow or change. My problem has been that I expected a different result, whether from a messed-up phone company who isn’t interested in what customers want or need, the judicial system who looks the other way when people lie and are dishonest in the courtroom, or a dysfunctional church that isn’t interested in the real concerns of the congregants.
But you know what? It felt too easy to fall into hopeless mode and swim around in depression and powerlessness.
You can expect more. Not from the same dysfunctional system. No, expect more however it comes. I expect more from God. I expect more miracles. I expect more support. I expect more help. I expect more from my life and better people in it. When my life doesn’t work or things are awful, instead of being stuck there, I expect better. I expect that God wants me to be happy and have what I need. Because without that expectation, we have nothing at all, and then we have our power taken away from us from all those dysfunctional people and systems who don’t listen or care.
And one more thing…
I will say this now and then I’m finally moving forward because it’s out of me and MY VOICE IS HEARD.
1. Judge Cele Hancock of Yavapai County, I witnessed you blacken records or prosecution did and you allowed it that would support the defendant’s story so you silenced his voice and took away his power. This is a fact. In your courtroom, I witnessed several people in the prosecution lied on the stand repeatedly and there is evidence to that fact that you refused to look at. I saw this. I witnessed this. I know this. Not lies or made it. I have evidence. You know they lied, and you don’t care, or you justified it. You based your decisions on their testimony. You believed things that weren’t factual but expected from others facts and evidence. If it was my courtroom, and there was that accusation, I would at least want to look into it. You will continue to look the other way and allow your own emotional bias, issues and emotions get in the way and many, many people will suffer and have their lives stripped from them.
2. Adult Probation in Yavapai County, I witnessed you lying, avoiding, covering up and treating people horribly and getting away with it. You constantly broke the law and didn’t have ethics, and yet you represented the law. You live with these facts and dishonesty everyday. It’s your karma now. I can’t imagine what quality of life you have knowing this. You will continue to abuse the abusers with no resolve. Who is worse?
3. Verde Valley Guidance Clinic, you were well aware we were dealing with a child who had a personality disorder and more serious mental illness because the records I was mysteriously not allowed to see, read you were watching for an AXIS 2 illness early on but neglected to mention it to the parents. When we wanted another psych evaluation, or thought this, you denied us and dismissed it. You also ignored and didn’t listen to my voice and my concerns. You will most likely continue to take in serious cases you can’t handle and then when things fall apart, deny it or do damage control, rather then refer them out to qualified professionals.
3. DES in Colorado, we told you we were first time parents and what we could handle, and you knew there were serious issues but you had no problem adopting the child out. You will do it again I am sure just to get the kids out the door. You did us a disservice but you did nothing to assist the child and her life.
Unless these organizations learn, grow, and change the cycles of dysfunction they will continue over and over. I wanted to educate them, but that doesn’t work! All we have are our voices even though they want to stifle them, so we need to speak out and speak up.
And we can expect more…be able to see dysfunctional systems quicker, move away from them, and move towards healthier support.