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I am one that will hold on tight to my emotions in order to stay in strength, but sometimes, I need some releasing of the dam to maintain balance or mine erupts. Because I’m not a crier easily, I need to jump-start the process. Perhaps, you are the same. Here are my top Crying Resources to allow me to have a good cry, release, and be back in balance. Drum roll please.
Well, there’s my recommendations. What’s yours? Or, are you the type of crier who needs no help?Add a Comment
I stopped making little films.
It hit me the other day when I felt the urge to make a little film for my social media client. The hunger to make one made itself known with familiar pangs and growls. It had been over a year since I gathered images and wrote a story and this confused me. Why did I stop?
Why do we stop doing what we love? “We lose permission” is the thought that came into my head when I asked this. When I was going to Grad School, I had permission and a structure which included definite expectations and assignments for the reward of a certificate. Most of these assignments involved making little videos to teach our message. I dove into the task with such lust that I knew this was my passion. I experimented with light animation, silly web shows, and personal stories in color pencil. I was always a storyteller, but now I had a vehicle that really matched me.
When school ended, I was left without permission. I needed to dive back into the work world and make money, and the films now seemed impractical. They needed to make a lot of money right away for them to be “worthwhile” and I didn’t know how. So I shut down that part of me.
A few months ago, I told a new friend what I did for a living. I hesitantly included creating little movies. “Oh, that’s a hobby then?” she said. I cringed down into the deep hollow of my stomach. “No,” I replied. “That’s my passion.” The words bursted out on their own before I could stuff them back in.
We stop painting, woodworking, writing songs. We stop crafting, jewelry-making, ceramics painting, doodling and drawing for fun. We become the “grown-ups” who are responsible, accountable, and serious, and if we have a teeny bit of time leftover, we let ourselves indulge. Many folks wait until they retire to have permission. All this withholding creates bitter, depressed, dried up people that take away the joy from the world.
Part of the creative process, whether by career or choice, is the PLAY stage. When scientists discover cures, they are first experimenting, which is their idea of playing. We experiment with tools, play, try out materials and techniques, and what comes out of that process can be very fruitful and helpful to others. When I made my FAIRY GUIDE I was playing in the garden. I wanted to learn about nature and healing. And what came out of those notes was a school that is over eight years old and international, and hopefully, helping many. Engaging in your creative passion is necessary. Nurturing your loves and where your creative impulses are taking you is following your intuition/gut, which is leading you to your greatest success (financially and/or emotionally) and where you need to be. It’s responsible.
I’m self-nurturing now by diving back into movie making. It feeds me like nothing else does. I feel filled up, joyful and 100% me. And it could lead to huge financial success in ways I haven’t even discovered yet, and/or it could just make me happy, and I deserve to be happy.
I give you permission to play, experiment, and dive down into your creative passion.
I am learning…Many sensitive people carry too much. We’re the responsible type and have an inflated sense of what is our responsibility and what is not. Believe it or not, even though we care deeply for others, it is not our responsibility to make sure they are happy or their needs are met, it’s their job. (With the exclusion of the responsibility of taking care of children and animals). When we stand our ground and say what we need, and someone doesn’t like it, it’s not our responsibility. We need take care of ourselves. That’s our jobs. This morning a burst of guidance came through I wanted to share. I need to say this several times a day and let it sink in. :)
I’ve been busy compiling the first lessons for the new storytelling and intuition class. We’re going to have a nice group. I’m very excited. It’s been awhile since I have been able to create a new class for the curriculum of Fairy and Empath Online School. For that little peek, lessons will include these fun sections:
a movie lesson of the week
Options to choose from for your homework
Written lesson and fun exercises
lots more. Want to join us for this intriguing class so you can reach your intuition/soul by letting it tell its story?
SIGN UP OVER HERE. Class starts on Friday.
It’s Fairy and Empath Online School Friday! Woot!
Today’s excerpt is from the Fairy Healing the Feminine class (offered in April). Our bodies are like the trees. All parts are sacred.
Where the heck am I going? Having one of those moments? Feel like the ground underneath is shaky and changing and not sure which way to go? I am excited to share my creative and intuitive process that has helped me gain clarity. Sure, we need to do research, gain facts and information, but too much of the left brain stuff boggles your mind and wears you down. The creative, intuitive voice needs to be heard too! I remember years and years ago, when I started out as a freelance illustrator, I hated making the rounds of submitting to markets and research. But thank goodness, I found a better, more creative way to get to my destination without all the should’s and should nots!
Get a clear MAP on your skills, gifts and loves. We often lose our way and forget our unique gift to the world! Have fun discovering, playing with different exercises, and together we will create a map of making your next steps intuitively clear.
This may be the only new class I will be creating this year, so, sign up fast!
Intrigued? Need a map? Go over HERE to read details and sign up! Subscribe to the site and get a special early bird discount!
For the Sensitive and the Empath:
For the Nature/Fairy Lover:
For developing your intuition:
Classes include personal or group Schoology course page, once a week instructor check-in, fun links and add-ons, cool illustrated lessons and fun homework! Go sign up for the September Fall Session!
There are several classes to choose from and classrooms open up tomorrow! Head on over HERE to choose your class and sign up! Coming up this week, we talk to a new animal communicator/healer I know you will enjoy.
Repeat several times a day until needed:
I’m feeling in a generous mood since we are all a little cranky with all that is happening with the government and we need some fun to focus on! Big sale on Fairy Online School this month. You can sign up for that class you’ve had your eye on and then get the gift of half off another class for later or for double the fun! That’s crazy good!
OR, sign up with a friend and she gets her class half off (or you do!) Let’s spread the word about Fairy Online School so we can all be creative/intuitive and have fun.
First off, I hoped you enjoyed Animal Communication Month and I want to thank all my fabulous guests who talked of their passion regarding animal communication. Each are wonderful women who have some very important teachings to share.
It’s been a crazy last few months, and quite honestly, I’ve been hesitant to share my thoughts here as I had felt my space was invaded. That’s a yucky place to be in and I am claiming it back. And with this claiming, I want to share what I’ve learned lately. Perhaps, you can relate, and then we can all support each other.
1. Other people’s shit is their shit. Okay, this one is hard to deal with. When someone acts a certain way, I guarantee it’s their own story going round and round in their head that may have nothing to do with you at all. With one of my relatives, I had this amazing shift when I realized I had a long-standing reaction taking things personally, which HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. It WAS my shit of why I took it personally. When I realized what my shit was, after a lot of learning and figuring things out, I gained some understanding and some real peace, and I didn’t react so strongly. I was able to detach, step back and see this. So, basically, we react to others when it’s really our own shit. Unless, of course, someone is just being a shit towards us, then we are reacting to that.
2. There’s many ways to climb a mountain. That means if you are sensitive and hate crowds, don’t think the only way to go out and teach is to lecture to large groups, and it’s the only way for you to be successful. If you hate doing networking luncheons, then network one-on-one through social media that’s more comfortable for you. I had a beautiful writer friend years ago who wrote children’s books. She was truly gifted with words. But the one thing that stopped her in her tracks of being truly successful was she didn’t want to do book signings. She was dreadfully shy and this was the kiss of death for her. Because of this, she didn’t pursue publishing her own children’s books to avoid that fate.
I had a similar experience when I starred in a television show years ago. I knew then I wanted to write and publish a book. I was told, that’s not how it works. “You have to BE somebody first.” I am a stubborn mule. That was too big a mountain to climb. I published my book anyway and I’m glad I did.
3. We need to ask ourselves are my actions or behaviors giving me what I want? If I want connection, healing, resolve, love, understanding, is how I am acting bringing that about or is it bringing others further away from me? If you don’t feel heard, kindly ask someone to listen. If you are angry, let it out in a healthy way. If you need answers, go do some research and ask questions. Cruel/nasty/mean/angry result = cruel/nasty/mean/angry. Hate feeds hate. It’s a lose-lose situation, always. I’ll never forget my Verizon phone company interaction. The first customer service rep was nasty towards me, so I got nasty. The second rep heard and understood me; validating my feelings. I softened and the interaction changed. There was a healthy resolve.
4. I think we all just want to be loved and to love. Love and connection is what it is all about. A world without real, honest connection is one scary, dark, lonely place. Dogs are the greatest teacher of love. It’s hard to not feel loved when a giant puppy is licking your face. Now unconditional love is their majors in life and they have so much to teach us. It’s harder as humans a great deal of time to love like that but we are learning. And we also do need to look at what unconditional love is. It’s not allowing cruelty, especially towards ourselves.
5. As sensitive people, a great deal of us didn’t learn this. We didn’t know how to create boundaries. We felt we weren’t allowed to. But this is a big one. And you can leave situations that don’t feel safe and people who don’t hear you, or at least create boundaries around those. Lots of times folks write me here asking about spirits that bother them or scary situations, and it’s the same with living people. I used to walk the girls pass one house on my street with two dogs that had no fence. The one dog was a loving, loopy kind of being who in her enthusiasm knocked over elderly Sarah. I didn’t appreciate that nor did Sarah. The other dog, a puppy, was aggressive. She’d zip into the street and bare teeth at Emma. After two times of this, I had a long scream at the dog, which I’m sure the whole neighborhood heard. “No! Unacceptable!” I told her. And the puppy ran back into her house. I then had a long talk with her person. We have a right not to be bullied in our environment. My one friend has a very sweet angel group online. She’s a gentle, kind creature whose whole purpose in life is to help others. She was recently attacked cruelly on her own site by a man who didn’t believe in what she did. He clearly needed to go somewhere else then, where he belonged, but she had every right to block him from that group. And if you are in an environment that doesn’t keep you safe, doesn’t respect the rights or well-being of its members, get out of that environment. It won’t change.
Sometimes, we do need to fight a good fight and keep going. We may be fighting an injustice or we don’t want to give up on our talents, and shouldn’t. But there are other times we are straining, trying, putting out a lot of energy, and it means we are going against the current made for us. We aren’t getting enough support either to help us or to back what we are doing. This causes such a strong fatigue that fills your bones. Believe me, I know. Those are the times to step back and regroup. Follow what does give you energy and where there is support. That’s your bread crumbs for the new direction. Oh, and learn from me. Drowning in resentment over lack of support, really, really doesn’t work. Don’t get stuck there.
Can you relate to these? What have you been learning?
*apologies to those who don’t appreciate cursing or the word “shit,” as I am originally from Jersey and we all learn that word while learning how to drive and that word is perfect for what I am describing
And speaking of support, if this writing post has helped you, consider buying my HELP I’M SENSITIVE book, or FAIRY ONLINE SCHOOL written classes. I am also busy completing the sequels to that book. Keep posted on developments, by SUBSCRIBING TO THIS SITE.
Things are looking a little different here…
I spent my Sunday playing on the computer rearranging, assessing, playing with my websites, and cuddling dogs in my jammies.
It seemed the Empath classes really wanted their own place, and didn’t want to be confused with the fairy/nature classes. Ha ha! So, they get their own school. Seriously, I have fairy students who love the whole Nature healing thing, and then I have my Sensitive students, who think the whole fairy thing is a little crazy. So, this makes sense. Each needs their own place to land here.
For January, I’m making Fairy Online School a little more accessible and more “self-serve.” I’ll still be available once a week for each class to answer questions, and talk about your lovely homework, but it’s more a no-pressure, have fun kind of thing. There’s two start dates, each on a Friday, for your convenience. So, if you finally want to learn about flower essences, or commune with Nature, tackle those empathic skills, or dive into animal communication, this is the place. Some classes will be retired. So sad. And some regrouped, but the student favorites will remain.
I am not doing any readings anymore. Sad too. I’m focusing more on the writing and teaching others how to communicate themselves.
I’m working on new books in the HELP! I’M SENSITIVE series and the Fairy Deck, finally! Here’s a teeny little peek.
I’ve used some of the cards for my 2013 Calendar, and I really think it’s time for the cards to be, well, cards! So, if you see me on Facebook, do encourage me to finish them! I’m hoping for an early Spring launch, but we will see how that plays out with all the other creative projects I tackle at once (creative ADD).
I’ve been working diligently on my Story/Design Studio site also. I’ve been having a blast learning about video editing and storytelling used for teaching. PURE BLISS! Okay, maybe some of the program learning has been a little frustrating and filled with curse words, but the challenge of learning has been very, very fun.
I want to thank all my new followers from Pinterest! My little quiz, Are you a sensitive, is practically going viral! For all of you, and my loyal friends and students, I give you Cyber Monday through Wednesday sale on classes! Sign up for January classes now at a whopping $25 off. It’s my thank you to you and to entice you to try out Empath or Fairy School. Yay! Go here to Empath School, here to Fairy Online School to sign up right away before the sale ends! These are crazy cool prices.
I’m curious what YOU want to see birthed from Fairy Online or Empath School for 2014. Take the poll! I was considering creating a storytelling your life course also with all the cool skills I learned and can share with you. Would you be interested in that? What changes do you want or need? I’d love to hear from you!Take Our Poll
December is a wrap-up time. It’s a time of looking at the year you’ve just gone through and sizing up and determining which way to go next. How do you do that with all the choices and opportunities? It can be overwhelming. As someone who is very empathic, I have a built-in radar system that I often curse at and ignore, which, I should be making friends with.
What’s this radar, you ask?
How I feel, especially in my body.
Now I can be slow in the intake, but the situation is improving. The time between getting upset/having an emotional or physical reaction and figuring out that I am upset has shortened. Gone is the time when I’d feel horrible for several days, even weeks, and not know why, because I am now finally noticing with the help of this tool which I will now share with you.
I was faced with a decision over the weekend when an opportunity presented itself. It sounded good and glossy and enticing, but the rest of the day THE MOOD hit. Now, sometimes THE MOOD is one of those empathic “picking up someone else’s shit and I’m carrying around not realizing it is not mine and yet I’m feeling it” kind of moods. I tuned in, and asked this time around, and got a NO from my body that this wasn’t the case.
I explored THE MOOD. I am not a big time fan of this time of year, so there was a little of that melancholy thrown in that I acknowledged. Having experienced many losses this year, I knew that grief was lingering around and was part of what I was feeling. A good cry was needed which I indulged in by watching a sappy movie, but THE MOOD persisted. What was going on?!
A big thank you to my good friends who helped me realize that I was considering go down the wrong way by possibly accepting the opportunity I was presented with. My body was letting me know that opportunity was not aligned with me! It was the wrong fit. Yes, logical mind had a ton of reasons why this choice was a good one. I’d get out of my comfort zone, tackle doing things I wasn’t good at but could be good at. I’d meet new people, and the choice would eventually lead to the direction I wanted to go, maybe. Logical mind is very good at molding me and squooshing me into boxes. But I am a soul that likes to break out of boxes. Body, on the other hand, has a direct line to my inner, empathic radar. It just reacts and lets me know: “Ronni, what the f(*%K are you doing, Girl?” Unlike logical mind, the body knows the simple answers to these questions: will this choice really make me happy? Is this a JOYFUL choice for me? Is it right for me?
We have all had experiences in our lives where we made a choice from logical mind because it looked really good on paper. How did those work out for you? Looking back, I haven’t had one that did.
Thank God and my body for THE MOOD that day. It quickly went away when I acknowledged I was compromising and heading in the wrong direction. (Another good clue). Further insight, and I realized that choice actually would have had me going backwards, not forward. (And that was a really good insight).
So look at your ‘symptoms’ differently today. That stomach ache you keep getting around a certain relative? Don’t curse it, understand what it’s saying. That persistant cold you have every Monday morning you have to go to work? Listen. When THE MOOD hits, don’t berate yourself for being too emotional. And when we bitch and complain we have no guidance and are abandoned, look again in your own backyard! Literally, your own backyard. Your body as your backyard? Get it? Oh, never mind. Just pay attention.
Oh, and incidentally, sometimes the body is saying YES to something that seems totally crazy and illogical, but is a fabulous great decision or the right road to pursue. I felt that way adopting my newest dog family member and going back to school. I’m so glad I listened.
Be sure to check out my book Help! I’m Sensitive and new book on animal communication, Speak Woof and Meow. And for further tips and tools for being sensitive, sign up for the January session of the EMPATH SKILLS ONLINE CLASS. And one more, keep your eyes on the lookout for my new book, YOUR TURTLE SHELL.
There’s some seriously powerful energies been brewing up lately. Can you feel them? On one hand, I feel my intuitive abilities have just leaped up a notch. I’m feeling much like young Superman who burned holes in the wall from not knowing how to control his superpower vision. On the flip side of all this psychic mojo is a lot of STUFF is releasing that I’m guessing really need to be released. A step up must move a ton of crud out of the way.
Back when I was in high school, I was pretty dedicated to my dancing. And in the process of dancing in lessons after school and in high school dance classes, I was overusing my dominate leg tendon too much. When I was forced to run several miles around a track in a gym class I hated (still have nightmares about gym classes) I seriously pulled that tendon to its breaking point. For the first time in my life, I was on crutches trying to navigate my life until it healed.
I’m thinking that when we get hurt emotionally in life, whether from someone else’s actions, or from loss, or just from life circumstances, we are injured and have a wound, much like my hurt tendon.
The other day I got triggered. My emotions were set to high and you would think I was injured that day, but it was that old wound just getting re-injured. You know that saying, salt in a wound? That’s just what happens after big wounds. Some wounds don’t heal properly the first time around. Or, maybe, we just couldn’t feel at the time. It wasn’t safe and now that we are, it can truly heal. And just like any injury, the best thing is to stay off the leg for awhile so it can bring itself back into balance, and that means looking at the trigger and deciding what needs to be expressed, or felt, or even avoided what can trigger for healing’s sake until we are off the crutches. (Interesting how my dance injury did keep me out of gym class for several months, but forced me to miss dancing).
Years later, I am still dancing whenever I get the chance to, even spontaneous bursting into steps when the radio plays, but that leg still carries a small throb as a reminder to take it easy, and be extra careful with my soft spots.
Happy to report that since I expressed my upset on Social Media with how I had been treated with Customer Service at Verizon, I received a phonecall from Verizon trying to remedy the problem! Ed, my new customer service rep, was in contrast, very kind and helpful. He explained to me that he tries to put himself in the customer’s shoes and how he/she would see things. I attracted another empath! Unlike the first rep who was very shaming and assumed I did something “wrong,” he was very understanding. He corrected the problem.
This whole experience has shown me how far I’ve come in how I want to be treated in the world. A part of me would get lost in that shame space even if I had done nothing wrong, so I probably accepted that behavior in the past. (Perhaps because as a sensitive, I am very over-responsible.)
I remember a year ago or so taking Emma to the old veterinarian who was excellent in knowledge but known for her cold approach. She shamed me for going to another veterinarian and even the holistic vet prior to her. She frowned at me and said kangaroo dog food would be the only food option we had and if I didn’t take her suggestion I was “wrong.” And then I was shamed at the reception counter when I complained of the extra charges that were added that I was unaware of.
I went home that day feeling like the little girl who forgot to do her chores and was punished. I had one hell of a migraine that night.
My entire adoptive parenting experience was about dealing with folks who didn’t hear me and shamed me for what they felt I “should have” done. I was treated horribly by the child, and most everyone involved, and that’s an understatement.
But obviously something huge had shifted this time around.
I found the new veterinarian and when Sarah was gravely ill, I had TWO wonderful veterinarians (including her holistic vet) aiding her in her care and HEARING me. I was told “you are doing a great job.” I had all the support on all levels I needed to take care of her in the end.
Big chunks of my life broke away where I wasn’t getting my needs met or heard. I broke away from organizations that didn’t hear me at all. This time around when I ask for help or assistance, it’s there and it’s excellent support.
I attracted a part time job I love to do that feeds me in every way and I’m told “Just keep doing what you are doing. We love it.” What a change!
And then there was Ed to show me this. Some folks say that the Universe gives you tests. In this case, I got a little taste of what I used to experience. I needed to stand my ground and ask for the new energy where I am now comfortable living at, and by doing so, it gave me confidence I won’t have to have those negative experiences anymore now that I had the new game plan or map for how I want my life to be like.
Sometimes, things may be hopeless and you need to grieve. When Sarah got sick, I knew in my gut, this wasn’t something I could heal in anyway. She was very old after all, and the diagnosis was bad. It was time. You can feel that energy of endings, and you just submit to it.
Then there’s the miracles.
Whenever my friends are facing hopeless situations, I tell them about Cowboy Dave.
Years ago, during the time everyone had crazy adjustable mortgages, when the housing crisis occurred, we were faced with the challenge of selling our beloved home. We’d be there for four years, and truly loved it, but we felt stuck in an ever-expanding payment that was growing unreasonable. To make matters worst, my husband quit a job he truly enjoyed, but he had to make a tough decision, because he was being treated so horribly and unfairly at work, he felt he had no choice.
We went through what most folks had to go through–the awful feeling of threatening letters coming in the mail, and the overwhelming worry about losing our home. We decided to try and sell our home and went through two different realtors. Things were getting closer and closer to the wire where we were running out of time and the house would be in foreclosure.
Help arrived! A couple came to the door and handed us brochures. With smooth-butter voices they promised to take the house off our hands and hand us $10,000 to run away and start a new life. My head ached at the time, like it does when negativity is sqirming around me. I protested.
The wife’s smile turned into a straight line, and her fists gripped the couch. Her husband turned on his bully button. “You have no choice!” he yelled. He explained they were the only option and we were crazy to turn down this deal. “This is reality and how things are. You’ll walk away with nothing,” he shouted at us.
When they left, we felt bullied and destroyed. It was like a huge hole grew into the ground and we fell right down into it.
And I then got weird guidance.
We were to expect more. Expect miracles. We called the bully couple back and told them no. We were throwing ourselves into the mercy of God and the Universe. It was crazy and illogical.
Two days later, we got a phone call from the realtor. A man wanted to check out the house.
Cowboy Dave, we later affectionately called him, was another realtor from a different company. He was a little old man with a big cowboy hat and a smile that lit up the room. He let his buyer in and then explained to us that this man was given a long list of houses to consider and he pointed to ours. “This is the house I want,” he had said. He lovingly went room to room and the air popped with his excitement. We waited in anticipation for his decision.
Only a few days later, we got his offer. We made over $80,000 in our sale. This was at a time when the house crisis just began, and houses were not selling, much less for the asking price.
When I am feeling like a situation is looking beyond hopeless, I ask myself if it has that ending energy and I need to acquiesce and accept, or do I need to ask and wait for a Cowboy Dave moment.
I had a good rant the other day about expecting more from people in regards to how things are handled, including their own responsibility, and being decent and fair with other people. We expect companies we deal with to act ethically and to listen to their customers’ concerns. We expect the authority we go to for help to listen to us and be honest. We expect the law and the judicial system to be fair and unbiased. We expect when we ask things from God we’ve been dreaming for, that good things will come, not horrible, ghastly things.
And then we are deeply disappointed.
I have clarity on a BIG LESSON. You shouldn’t expect something different from people or systems who are very dysfunctional and have no desire to learn, grow or change. My problem has been that I expected a different result, whether from a messed-up phone company who isn’t interested in what customers want or need, the judicial system who looks the other way when people lie and are dishonest in the courtroom, or a dysfunctional church that isn’t interested in the real concerns of the congregants.
But you know what? It felt too easy to fall into hopeless mode and swim around in depression and powerlessness.
You can expect more. Not from the same dysfunctional system. No, expect more however it comes. I expect more from God. I expect more miracles. I expect more support. I expect more help. I expect more from my life and better people in it. When my life doesn’t work or things are awful, instead of being stuck there, I expect better. I expect that God wants me to be happy and have what I need. Because without that expectation, we have nothing at all, and then we have our power taken away from us from all those dysfunctional people and systems who don’t listen or care.
And one more thing…
I will say this now and then I’m finally moving forward because it’s out of me and MY VOICE IS HEARD.
1. Judge Cele Hancock of Yavapai County, I witnessed you blacken records or prosecution did and you allowed it that would support the defendant’s story so you silenced his voice and took away his power. This is a fact. In your courtroom, I witnessed several people in the prosecution lied on the stand repeatedly and there is evidence to that fact that you refused to look at. I saw this. I witnessed this. I know this. Not lies or made it. I have evidence. You know they lied, and you don’t care, or you justified it. You based your decisions on their testimony. You believed things that weren’t factual but expected from others facts and evidence. If it was my courtroom, and there was that accusation, I would at least want to look into it. You will continue to look the other way and allow your own emotional bias, issues and emotions get in the way and many, many people will suffer and have their lives stripped from them.
2. Adult Probation in Yavapai County, I witnessed you lying, avoiding, covering up and treating people horribly and getting away with it. You constantly broke the law and didn’t have ethics, and yet you represented the law. You live with these facts and dishonesty everyday. It’s your karma now. I can’t imagine what quality of life you have knowing this. You will continue to abuse the abusers with no resolve. Who is worse?
3. Verde Valley Guidance Clinic, you were well aware we were dealing with a child who had a personality disorder and more serious mental illness because the records I was mysteriously not allowed to see, read you were watching for an AXIS 2 illness early on but neglected to mention it to the parents. When we wanted another psych evaluation, or thought this, you denied us and dismissed it. You also ignored and didn’t listen to my voice and my concerns. You will most likely continue to take in serious cases you can’t handle and then when things fall apart, deny it or do damage control, rather then refer them out to qualified professionals.
3. DES in Colorado, we told you we were first time parents and what we could handle, and you knew there were serious issues but you had no problem adopting the child out. You will do it again I am sure just to get the kids out the door. You did us a disservice but you did nothing to assist the child and her life.
Unless these organizations learn, grow, and change the cycles of dysfunction they will continue over and over. I wanted to educate them, but that doesn’t work! All we have are our voices even though they want to stifle them, so we need to speak out and speak up.
And we can expect more…be able to see dysfunctional systems quicker, move away from them, and move towards healthier support.
Yes, this will be easy. Just put the class into a book. It’s already written.
Oh, no, where’s that drawing? Does it even exist anymore?
I don’t like that part, or that part, and that part needs rewriting.
What a mess.
I need a whole new chapter 8!
Now that heading should be on THIS page, not that page. Why won’t it move?
Stupid computer program! Why the heck won’t that picture go there?
Oh, it looks good. I like this.
What do you mean the drawing isn’t 300dpi? I changed it three times. It SHOULD be 300dpi.
Head really, really hurts.
That font looks awful. Why does that font look awful? I don’t know. Time for cookies.
It’s really coming along!
I should have added this. But if I add this, I need to add this.
Still hate that chapter. How can I fix it?
That’s what I forgot to include!
That picture still looks weird.
Now I have to move everything around again. Pages aren’t lining up. Why do I do this? Am I crazy?
I can’t even look at it today. Where’s the cookies?
Wow, I like how it’s coming along. Everything is flowing nicely. It all looks seamless.
OMG! There’s a huge typo! Why didn’t I see that? Am I blind? What else did I miss?
Two friends don’t like the title. Crap.
Cute title! That will work.
Why didn’t it upload? I sat here for hours and it didn’t upload? I need to smack someone or something.
What if no one reads it? What if ends up in the discount pile bin in Walmart? Maybe I should tweak it a little here, a little there.
Time to just jump into the fire. It looks good. Reads well. I need to stop picking at it.
One more change…
Couldn’t sleep. Wondered if I should add a paragraph to chapter nine.
I think I just had an entire dream I edited the book in my sleep.
Ah, acceptance. It’s completed. Uploading and ready to go.
Well, that was easy. Let’s do it again! Next book…
Wow. There is really a lot of dark stuff in this world and things we don’t understand. This has been on my mind a great deal lately. How do we deal with it or handle it? One thing I know for sure, the one thing we can never do, is become dark ourselves. Fighting dark with dark doesn’t work. I was heading that way with my anger, and all it does it corrupts me inside and makes me something that I am not. I don’t know about you but I’d like to follow that spark of light and hope. Isn’t that what it is all about- being here?
We bring in that beauty and what is truly good in this world. We look for it.
Like little fireflies we move towards the light and all that feels good, like being loved by beautiful friends, getting puppy kisses, and doing what we love to do and what excites us.
And we try to have some compassion for what isn’t light and those broken, hurt pieces in others.
And then there’s cake. Cake is definitely something from the light.
I love stories. I especially like how stories can help other people heal, learn and grow, or to be uplifted. We need our stories. That was a big reason why I went back to Graduate School, to learn how to technically create visual stories that teach in all the ways you can reach people.
I am often pulled into other people’s stories, being so sensitive. I have a tough problem with the Facebook Feed often. I get pulled into stories of death, illness, misfortune and pain, and my heart opens so much I can feel it like it is my own, which I know, most of you can relate to. I can’t look at a photo of a dog being mistreated even if it’s to promote a good cause. Those animal communication skills just plug right in and it’s painful. I want to run right into that photo and save the dog, or the pig, or the cow!!! I hear about grief or loss, and I feel and understand their pain. And yes, I create strong boundaries as an Empath to protect me. But I am learning, a really big lesson, that this is about Responsibility.
I’m over-responsible, most sensitive folks are. But just because I can feel your pain and your hurt spots, doesn’t mean I’m the one to fix it. I really want to, but I can’t. I use to carry everyone’s pain and my old role long ago was to be the one willingly to be the “dumpee.” I will hold your pain. Being so strong, I knew I could do it. As I’ve been in this new role for a long time of not being the one that carries and the “dumpee,” I can clearly look at why I was willing to be in this role.
I’m thinking as a sensitive, little young empath I felt the pain of those I loved the most around me and I sure didn’t want them to feel that. I wanted to make it better. As a child, I probably theorized that since the world revolved around me, which we learn that children at that age think, it was my problem or issue to do something about it. As an adult, I’ve learned it’s not compassionate for me to do this. Not only do I take away other people’s lessons to learn, but their healing to come out from it. And they aren’t getting a chance to be accountable to their own responsibilities either. As healers or teachers we can’t do the healing. I’ve also managed to allow abuse to come at me and be treated horribly, which would definitely come under self-abuse. Ironically, why was I not okay with seeing others suffer, but it was just fine for me to suffer and carry all that pain?
I did a web search today on my first book as I worked on my marketing, as I prepare to share my second book. And I had a wonderful, deep cry. The good kind. I read about a beautiful soul’s sharing how my book helped her and her story to feel not alone in her journey. Finding this, was what it is all about. And reading her story and her reflecting back to me my words that I needed to hear today, the gift came back to me full circle. Thank you!
Now, looking back, I see that I really have transformed my role. I don’t have to be the “dumpee,” or hold other people’s pain for them, and I definitely don’t have to make it better, even though it still really hurts to see anyone suffer or be in pain. It’s not my job to fix it or for it to be okay for someone to be abusive towards me for any reason. And I am not responsible for things I didn’t do–that’s not my story.
A couple of weeks back, I was really angry at being dumped at unfairly and at the injustices in the world, and I went into a dark, angry place. I wanted to be heard which is good, but that anger only polluted inside me and made me something I’m not, nor want to be. It didn’t affect the world around me I was angry at, and I didn’t want to become abusive either. I always want to achieve to understand.
But now I can share what I have learned and healed in my story, always with the intent to be kind and to help, so another can heal too, and that’s a much better, happier/healthier role for me to be in.
(Ah, now to to teach this to my very empathic dog )
I’ve been noticing lots of butterflies lately. Last week, while shopping with my friend Ruth, a butterfly zoomed right into our faces. I took that as a good sign.
Butterflies show up at times of big transformations and change and when you need signs of hope.
I founds some interesting links about the butterfly symbol. One fact that surprised me is the life cycle of a butterfly is only one month!Take Our Poll