I just checked out this video made on the messages of 2012. There was a big conference in Sedona recently I missed because I didn’t have patience for. Watching this video gave me some big realizations.  I trusted my empath radar as I watched.

What was disappointing is some of the leaders I previously liked I wasn’t resonating with their messages and I’ll tell you why.

I want to feel EXPANSIVE, and the opposite of boxed in. I want to feel HOPEFUL.

I don’t know about you but whatever is going on in my life, I want to feel EXPANSIVE, and the opposite of boxed in. I want to feel HOPEFUL. I don’t want feel powerless victim, ever. When I am in that space, I shut down. As an empath, my greatest gift is trusting how I feel to guide me to my right radio dial of what is good for me and what is not so great for me. I listened to one speaker  and it didn’t matter what words were being said, I felt like that awful feeling in my stomach and I felt hide under the bed fearful. His words didn’t ring true inside of me.

I listened to the Swami, who by the way, resonates more to upbeat, fairy energy — and I felt good! I love the idea of laughing and feeling empowered. Hello! Who the heck doesn’t? And I really didn’t resonate to the channeled messages which basically said all the things I all ready knew. Why would I think a dead person or spirit would be more wiser or connected to wisdom/the divine then all of the rest of us? Aren’t we all able to tap into that?

What I hope we are moving more into, new age terms aside which are starting to not resonate with me, is going more into our own guidance and sense of what works or resonates with ourselves. We’re becoming guru-less. I see that with every person who takes a class or buys my book. They are accepting themselves and finding their own answers. Woo Hoo! Isn’t that goal?

You decide…watch the video and feel. Each spiritual teacher is talking from their own perspective and seeing through their own lens on life. And who you resonate with or hear simply matches how you see things.

Loyal to others vs. Loyal to self

One of the toughest things about being an empath is you go out of your way to not hurt anyone else’s feelings. Maybe it’s a selfish thing; if that person hurts, you feel it. But it’s also from a place of compassion. You understand pain. You would never purposely inflict it. I recently was in an argument. It might very well have been my fault and I over-reacted. I had taken an email forward personally that lamented about the dangers of technology because I am going to school specifically for technology. It was one of those ill-timed emails that just happens. But like most incidents in life, the argument illuminated a bigger issue I needed to look at. During the argument, I was quick to create harmony, please, discount what I was feeling, and apologize first. I often took this role/stance as a sensitive child. Several days later after the argument, I still had a lingering unease I’m dealing with. I created peace but I stifled my voice rather than be abandoned. I didn’t want to be the bad guy or the outcast among the crowd.

This is a big shift I am making here, seeing this. Little kids please themselves so easily. But I think little empaths never had that luxury. We’d always be tuned into what others needed and were feeling. We wanted that harmony around us.

I have a problem with a certain kind of authority. I’ll give in just to please, rather than be “naughty.” I’ve decided to treat my one dog’s chronic problem holistically which has proven the more successful route. We are seeing a holistic veterinarian who hears and respects my intuition. Wow, an amazing concept! Because I haven’t returned to my conventional vet, I feel like that little shamed kid who didn’t do her homework. This pattern has become so ingrained in my emotional landscape.

Throughout my life, other people have had no problem putting themselves first. When my husband didn’t want to go to a party or an event, he’d just say no, dig his heels in and that was it. I admired his resolve that I didn’t have. I had too many “what ifs” in my head of who would be disappointed with me.

And there’s the issue. Growing up, we were never yelled at. We were disciplined with the threat of disappointment, which later felt like rejection. I can still feel that sting whenever I displease authority.

It’s time to rewire my thinking. Does any action I do please and serve me? And that’s the best and highest me. That little girl inside is terrified of being left alone. She’s the one that is scared to have a disagreeing voice. I have this vision of me being left alone in a cave to fend for myself. But in my desire to please everyone else, I’ve managed to abandon me. I’m the one who put me in that cave.

I’m the one  who put me in that cave. 

And that little girl’s perspective that if someone is angry with me they will abandon me? Some will, then that’s not really a relationship of substance or depth, if you aren’t able to communicate feelings with each other. And aren’t those relationships reflecting back the miscommunication I am having with myself?

Hey self! What serves you? What pleases you? What do you need right now? 

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from YOUR TURTLE SHELL (Coming early 2013)

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Check out the How to Survive the Holidays eBook under the BOOKS and WHAT’S NEW section

I am venturing out and venturing forth to hosting my own teleclasses! Woo hoo! I am so excited!

Teleclasses over at Ronni’s Psychic Room will cover the topics of Exploring Psychic Communication, Healing with Fairies, and Help for the Sensitive, my specialties.

Upcoming Teleclass Call:

How to Filter out the Internet and the World To Find Focus Again

Let’s Explore Further: I recently blogged about focus and how it’s hard sometimes as a sensitive to not get so overwhelmed by so much input. It’s the main source of overwhelm when shopping in a busy mall. Often I will be very clear in the morning of my goals, and once on my beloved Facebook, I’m lost in photos, sayings and images, and I’m gone. With all the additions lately of different social fun like Instagrams and Tumblr, etc., it becomes even more confusing and more dizzying! I feel like a kid lost in a busy department store.

For more details of this great teleclass, go here.

How super neat cool! I’m offering new Care of the Sensitive bundle packages. Choose from the Simple package, just the class, to a FAB-U-LOUS package of an empath lesson teleclass and a private lesson or a custom flower essence! Oooooooh! Check them out and sign up anytime throughout July and August HERE.

Often, this is the question I get the most with students and other people. I even found an old email I gratefully missed seeing berating me for claiming that I could talk to my departed mother. How do I answer that?

For one thing, yes, I can talk to animals and feel spirits. The spirits more like drop in and out on occasion. I can’t conjure up. It’s more like having someone call you up on the telephone. I’m not delusional, I’ve been relatively grounded, and I’m psychologically sound even though life has really roughed me up a bit, and I’ve concluded that it was that “roughing up” that allowed me to hear or see.

Here’s one of my theories

Many of the friends I have that are truly “psychic,” which is really aware of other dimensions, or simply, what’s beyond THIS, have had in their life some kind of experience that caused them to pop out of their bodies from some kind of trauma. During that popping out they noticed “hey, there’s something else here.” No, they didn’t go into the devil’s world, which at least, I hope not. When I was a kid, I had such chronic pain that it was an easy thing to just pop out and hang out on the ceiling then feel that pain all the time (by the way, animals do this.) I was already very empathic, just like mother, and I think that’s how–the popping out–was why I also able to readily hear guidance.

Some folks need their worlds to fall apart to experience that there’s more then what’s here. GRIEF can open you up completely or…shut you down. That’s one big reason you can’t hear your loved one or your departed dog. There isn’t a thing you did wrong or something wrong with you. What I know from experience is when I am very upset and angry at the world, I can’t access any guidance. I feel cut off and stranded. I think with grief, you’re in a protective mode. You need to be insulated so you can heal. And then later on, you can hear or feel and connect to loved ones.

Some folks have had trauma and hurt early on and have always been shut down. It’s safer that way when the world is an unsafe place. But if you asked them, they will recall little signs that happened in their lives that showed them they were watched over, if they are willing to see it.

Lots of people could hear and see when they were children. But as they grew up and life got hard, they forgotten this.

Some folks are very left-brained and they experience the world solely from the mind, and therefore, won’t hear or see. (They need to rent movies like DRAGONFLY.) That’s not their path to hear.

Don’t Push

When I hear students say this, I always question if they are pushing or trying to hear/feel. That always shuts things down. Then your mind comes in and takes over. They are almost always missing the SUBTLE signs of communication and dismissing it as nothing, but it’s there. They are feeling hugged (those goosebumps out of nowhere), having songs come into their heads out of nowhere, seeing a shadow run across the room or a blink of light. That’s the communication! It doesn’t have to be a full-blown ghost giving a six page message. That’s just television! And always with their animals, they just need validation that they are already picking up a ton of information from their animals. How can they not? They are so connected to them.

I’ve always thought like a scientist. I need proof to believe and I need to experience it. Most folks are like that. So, if they don’t experience it or see it, why would they believe it? And the interesting thing is, when you have lots of experiences and you start to believe, the experiences increase.

No, I’m not special at all because I pick up things from spirits or know what dogs feel and think. I actually curse it sometimes when I have headaches from it and overload all the time, and pick up psychically what I really don’t want to or is helpful to me. I really don’t appreciate when people think I’m nuts. I don’t hear all the time, either, by the way. Sometimes, I stare at my dogs wondering what they want and can’t hear anything at all. Being sensitive can be a really big hindrance in my life, especially in my relationships, but it’s also a gift that can help others (I get to write about it.) And there are many out there who totally relate to this, who often come here.

Just Keep the Gate Open

The big thing is, if you are missing or grieving someone and you can’t feel or hear them, it doesn’t mean they have abandoned you or there’s no after-life, or worse, everyone who can is crazy. Right now, in this moment, you can’t. It’s not forever, and maybe there’s a reason, like I mentioned before. Instead, just leave that door open to possibility. That’s all you need for the world to surprise you. And boy, will it.

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If you are interested in developing your abilities to hear/see/feel, sign up for Fairy Online School to get help and info, which starts September 21st.

Which are you?

My folks are up visiting from New Jersey. My stepmother is a complete extrovert, and my Dad is a classic introvert. According to the Myers Briggs classification tests, an introvert is not the quiet and shy wallflower that you overlooked sitting in the back of the room, which is a popular misconception. How we navigate and process the world is classified by extrovert or introvert. Extroverts are recharged by being around more people or excitement and interaction. Introverts are recharged by quiet, alone time. They need time to digest what they’ve experienced and reconnect to themselves.

Classic example was after a long day visiting the local zoo, Out of Africa, my stepmother was ready to keep going. My Dad and I were cranky and ready to fall over. A little more stimulation and I would have overloaded for sure and my circuits would have fried. It’s not being “too sensitive” that does that, but the fact that I take in all kinds of information at once. A little goes a long way. I dive deep into the experience. Any more stimulation or input would be like adding more coffee to the filled coffee cup, spilling brown liquid everywhere over the table; there’s nowhere to go.

It’s not a right or wrong situation, although for years I’ve had to try to explain myself to extroverts who had no idea what was wrong with me when I pooped out early on long, interactive days, or needed alone space after experiencing a party of people. I definitely internalized that I was flawed or “wrong” until I discovered the classifications and felt deeply liberated! The world needs both. The big key here isn’t that we are like each other and change, but we respect each others’ needs.

And incidently, I understand the needs of both types. The last time I took the Myers Briggs test, I had an interesting revelation. My scores were smack down in the middle between Introvert and Extrovert! This would explain my continuous struggle for balance even within myself. I could see my need for people and interaction, but too much of that, and I usually got sick, anxious or headache-y, and desperately needed space. Not enough people interaction, I get lonely and moody. Add all that extra sensitivity, and I am thinking I lean more towards the Introvert side in terms of needs. Perhaps, you can relate.

Resources to check out:

The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D

My Care of the Sensitive class, of course

Myers Briggs test

Another kindred spirit…the lovely Melissa and her inspiring Spiritgoddess website! Hear what she has to say about Help! I’m Sensitive.

February 29th Wednesday: (US) http://www.spiritgoddess.com/1/post/2012/02/the-intutive-empath-sensitive-creative.html (Melissa’s blog website: Creative and soulful space for wild-earth women, nature spirit lovers, goddess protectors for the Fae-Folk and sacred space for the “sensitive seers.” )

Follow me as we pack our bags and head on over to Australia again! It’s the lovely and very wise Monique Williams and her blog and coaching site. Monique addresses Tip and Tool #49 and she does it beautifully.

http://moniquetwilliams.com/2012/03/01/a-tip-for-the-sensitive-just-walk-away/

Did you order a copy of your book yet? You can get the book right here from the Author!

Designing Fairy mouths off…

I’ve been pondering a lot of messages floating about on the internet and social groups lately. Even my old church promoted just loving everyone and seeing their higher selves. I think that is an excellent idea, but there needs to be disclaimers with these types of messages.

Do you love the person who is abusive to you? Just smile and see their higher self? What about the jerk pushing over your boundaries and walking right through them? Some of this line of love thinking feels very hippy-I’m-high-on-something kind of crap when I am encountering these kind of individuals, so I am guessing, that’s where my anger comes in.

Here’s my advice: yes, love them. See their higher selves and RUN! I mean frickin’ run for that damn exit. Let them bother someone else then, and run past their boundaries and treat them like crap. Honey, I am not going to sit there and see the good they could possibly be, or that they are souls just like me underneath. Yes, so true, but right now they are toxic to me and I’m going to RUN!

I think the bottom line under all of that teaching about love is, do you love yourself? Do you love yourself enough to want to be surrounded by people who really care about your feelings and needs, and truly care about your boundaries? Do they hear you when you speak about your concerns, or, do they act like they hear you, but then trample over you anyway? Do you love yourself enough to not be abused by someone else’s bad behavior, that you might understand underneath why they are acting the way they are, but right now you will keep yourself safe and out of the line of fire?

So, yes, it is all about LOVE. Just love you, and love them enough to let them learn their own lessons, but far over there.

As a sensitive, do you have the habit of popping out? I mean, do you find yourself leaving your body a great deal when either under attack or on overwhelm? Many of us developed this “skill” as child empaths either from an abuse situation, or in my case, from having an illness. As a child, to avoid feeling pain, I’d often find myself “sitting on the ceiling” looking down. I do believe today, this trick allows me to communicate with spirit so easily, or even talk to animals that are halfway across the world. But how do you control this gift? It’s not conducive to many conversations if one moment you are there and the next you are blurry-eyed and vacant, right? (Although with some threatening or clueless people, they don’t even notice you leave.)

I look to Tool #38 from Help! I’m Sensitive.

Problem 38: Leaving your body

Sensitive tool: Grounding

Lisa Campion has a great article on her blog about grounding and shielding for Empaths. She says that empaths, when overloaded, leave their bodies. I can attest to that!

During a period of time, whenever I felt emotionally attacked I’d find myself seeing a symbol and leaving my body to some astral place. From some detective work, I realized that this was a skill I learned in childhood when I had bad stomach problems and I didn’t want to be in my body in pain. So, I’d find myself sitting next to the ceiling looking down.

This skill helps me in my work locate a lost animal or talk to someone who has passed, but doesn’t need to be there in my everyday life. The tool needed here is grounding. I am stronger when I stand tall and firm in my space. Once I felt less vulnerable and stronger and was able to speak my feelings, I left less and less.

Feeling your legs and reaffirming that you are safe is the tool to use here. Carry a tourmaline rock in your pocket. Its healing qualities will pull you right back in and keep you on the earth.

It’s also important to notice, where and with whom you feel this urge to leave. Why are you feeling unsafe? Can you speak your mind or your fears to that person? Perhaps, empathically you are registering that this person is unsafe for you. Honor this as best you can, limit your exposure, and then always make sure there is extra protections for you put in place whenever you have to deal with this person.

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