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I’ve had over 50 books traditionally published in a range of genres. Can’t remember the exact number but some have been plays for teenagers and younger children. Other books tied into characters on TV (such as Brum) and were joke, … Continue reading →

Just tuning in with a few links on a lazy Monday--lazy because we're in Hawaii, at our friends' house on the Big Island, enjoying a much-needed vacation. Sadly, I did bring some work with me, but only a minimum of such, which, for me, is pretty... Read the rest of this post

This illustration was sent in by Heather Dent. Since a little girl, Heather’s dream has been to become a professional author and illustrator. Now the time has come to try to make that dream come true.  Right now she works for a small business in Berea KY called Attic Light Studios that transfers old videos and photos into digital files and makes movies for special events like weddings, funerals, and anniversaries.  Her blog is:  http://heatherdentstudio.blogspot.com/.

Anita Nolan is doing a four hour intensive workshop titled, Creating Better Beginnings on June 7th at the New Jersey SCBWI Conference. Here is the description:

It’s vital to make the first pages of your manuscript the best they can be. After all, an editor or agent might read no more than the first few paragraphs before deciding to reject. In this intensive we’ll look at different ways to begin a story and what should be included in the first few pages. We’ll consider what you are revealing about your main character, (and whether it is what you intended!) and whether the character is sympathetic. You’ll rewrite your first paragraphs of your story in this workshop. Bring a printed copy of your first chapter (at least 5 pages, double spaced), paper and pen, (and your laptop if you’d like—laptop is not necessary) highlighter, and be prepared to dig into your first chapter.

I asked Anita if she could share some tips with the writers following my blog. Anita does a great job. You will learn a lot and advance your story if you sign up for her Friday session. Below are a few things from Anita on what a first chapter should accomplish:

As a reader dives into the first chapter, he searches for clues as to what type of story he’s reading. Is it a fantasy? Historical? A fast-paced adventure or a slower-paced coming of age story? Is the voice humorous? Sarcastic? Flowery?

A story’s beginning makes a promise to the reader about what type of story he’s picked up, the pacing, and voice.

Recently I read first pages from one story that promised a fantasy but had no fantastical elements, and from another that had no fantastic elements in the beginning, but the story had an entire secondary fantasy world.

Here are a few things the first chapter should accomplish:

1. Intrigue Reader. Hook them & keep them reading.

2. Introduce either main character/s or theme.

3. Identify what Main character needs/lacks/wants.

4. Identify the obstacles standing in the Main Character’s way.

5. Establish a bond (sympathy) between the reader & Main Character.

6. Present the world in which the story is set.

7. Establish the general tone of the novel.

8. Show Pacing.

9. Show the Voice.

Remember registration ends April 30th at midnight.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

From Rosemary Wells in an essay entitled: The Well-Tempered Children's Book (From Worlds of Childhood: The Art and Craft of Writing for Children; Zinsser):

Writing about anything is a mistake. The only books that work are those which fly through the air - the ones you let happen, not make happen.

Yesterday we talked about Paper Lantern Lit, Lexa Hillyer, Lauren Oliver, who are part of this  years NJSCBWI conference and what they were doing with authors, editors, and Stephen Barbara. Today, I thought I would share a great article they wrote to help authors improve their writing. Here it is below:

Chapters are kind of like socks—something we writers and editors use ALL the time, but hardly ever think about. We all know that most novels are anywhere from 40,000 words to 140,000 words long, and we all know they’re broken up into units called “chapters.” But how often do we stop to ask why? How do you know you’re getting the most from a chapter?

We see this challenge in two parts: WHAT goes in the chapter, and HOW it goes in.

Let’s start with the juicy WHAT, first.

Chapters must give good, purposeful content that moves the story forward, that’s what! Unlike socks (ew), a chapter is something you should be able to sink your teeth into and get some real nutrients from it. Let’s consult the magic 8-ball of chapter content questions:

1) What is the main character’s goal in this chapter? How does that goal evolve? (I.e., is the main character thwarted, or does her goal get more urgent?) If there’s no goal, what would make a good goal for the chapter? It should be based on the character’s overall goal in the book! If her goal in the story is to find missing treasure, then perhaps the goal in this chapter is to first dig up the map, or confront the pirate who buried it.

2) What happens in this chapter? Is there action, and does it naturally lead to more action? If not, what new actions might lead to consequences that increase the urgency or difficulty of the goal? (Here’s the thing about goals: we should be making it more and more difficult to get to while simultaneously more and more seemingly necessary.) For instance, perhaps the pirate who buried the treasure has mysteriously vanished, and now your main character must solve the mystery of his disappearance! Or maybe the character’s mother plans to sell her home, and now she needs that treasure more than ever.

3) What new information is learned? (And why now?) If not much is learned, what “clue” might be inserted into this chapter to help set us up for the actions and reveals of future chapters?

4) Does the chapter seem urgent? Does it have tension? If not, what would make everything more pressing, more dire? What might be causing the tension to deflate? Watch out for moments where things are getting easier for the characters, where they seem to be fed the answers. Instead, there can be clues leading them forward, but there should also be obstacles keeping us interested! Remember that you are supposed to be making things more complex and challenging—that’s good narrative!

5) Unity of action. Is the action contained to one location? Does it focus on a single event? Is there a logic to where and why it comes to an end? If you close your eyes, can you easily picture this chapter? Can you describe the action in a sentence? (Think: It was Mrs. White, with the wrench, in the drawing room).

6) Is there causality from one chapter to the next? Remember that the goal in chapter A should lead directly to the goal in chapter B, either linearly (“I had to talk to character M and he told me to go talk to character N”) or because some obstacle encountered in Chapter A redefines the goal in Chapter B (“I got shot at while talking to character M and now I need to go to the hospital, which has replaced talking to character N as my immediate goal.”)

7) Where have we come from? Have the actions, revelations, and emotions of the chapter been properly “seeded” in previous chapters? If not, what would be a few specific places earlier in the book where we might get enough information or “clues” to prepare us for what happens now?

8) Where are we going? What are the elements of this chapter that you’d like to see “pay off” later in the book? In novels, unlike in life, everything must serve a purpose. Even small developments should have some impact on the plot—a.k.a. that development should cause something important to happen later, throw a wrench into the narrative making the goal harder to get to, or aid in a significant reveal later on. Otherwise, it’s simply filler!

Now on to the HOW!

That is, how are we building this baby? What’s the appropriate structure of a chapter? Get ready… we’re about to tell you how to win a game of writing Jenga.

1) Importance of Innies. Is the chapter “in” strong? Does the opening “hook” you from the beginning with a surprising or vivid first sentence/paragraph? Are you peeking around the doorframe or leaping right into the middle of the room? Variety is the key. Experiment with the three A’s of openers: Action, Atmosphere, or Attribution (i.e. dialogue that is quickly attributed to a character). Either start in the middle of a scene with a sound (Splat! The burger hit him in the face), or with vivid description and mood (A dark, feathery form swooped across the fading skyline like a streak of black ink across the gray) or in the midst of a conversation (“How dare you call me selfish! I’m only trying to help you,” Cindy said, raising an eyebrow at me.)

Read the Rest

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Since registration for the New Jersey SCBWI June Conference is closing April 30th (Here is the link: http://tinyurl.com/ch7sean) I thought I would announce the Guest Critiquer for May.

MELISSA FAULNER, Editorial Assistant, ABRAMS Books for Young Readers and Amulet has agreed to share her expertise with us. I am looking forward to meeting her at the conference and I will be sharing more information about her during May.

Just a heads-up: May’s submission deadline will be May 22nd, due to the Memorial Day.

Here is Melissa’s bio:

Melissa received her B.A. from Sarah Lawrence College with a concentration in Literature and Visual Arts. She worked in Consumer Products and Licensing for Penguin Young Readers Group before coming to ABRAMS, and now works on a variety of children’s books including both fiction and nonfiction picture books and middle grade and YA fiction. She’s the editor for an upcoming Cinderella picture book in Fall 2013, and has worked as part of the editorial team for the upcoming picture books The Twelve Days of New York by award-winning author Tonya Bolden and illustrator Gilbert Ford, the sequel to the award-winning early middle-grade novel Like Pickle Juice on a Cookie by Julie Sternberg, and the adult graphic fairy tale Raven Girl by Audrey Niffenegger.

This is the first time the New Jersey SCBWI Chapter has been able to get anyone from Abrams to come out to one of our conferences, so this presents a big opportunity for the attendees.

MEREDITH MUNDY, Executive Editor, Sterling Children’s Books has agreed to being April’s Guest Critiquer. If you haven’t met Meredith, you can meet her at the New Jersey SCBWI Conference in Princeton, NJ this June. She is a wonderful editor and a lovely person. She knows her stuff.

Meredith Mundy has been with Sterling Children’s Books for 8 years, following 11 years at Dutton Children’s Books. She is nuts about character-centered picture books (recent projects include The Big Bad Wolf Goes on Vacation by Delphine Perret, A Pirate’s Twelve Days of Christmas by Philip Yates, and Ten on the Sled by Kim Norman), but she is also seeking everything from funny, original board books to unforgettable middle grade novels to YA fiction. (No vampires, angels, mermaids, or werewolves, please, and she doesn’t usually acquire historical fiction.) While she enjoys editing nonfiction, she wouldn’t be the right editor for poetry collections or a project geared primarily toward the school and library market.

WRITERS Sending in a First Page: Please attach your double spaced, 12 point font, 23 line first page to an e-mail and send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com. Also cut and paste it into the body of the e-mail. Put “April First Page Critique” or “April First Page Picture Prompt Critique” in the subject line. Make sure you have your name on the submission, a title, and indicate the genre. Also let me know if you were able to post of facebook or Tweet. That will get your name in the basket an additional time, when I am choosing the four pages. If you don’t have either of these, just leave a comment and let me know. If you end up doing more things to get additional entries, then e-mail me a note by April 20th. The four chosen and their critiques will be posted on April 26th.

This first page picture prompt was done by Susan Detwiler. Susan was feature on March 9th. You can use this link http://wp.me/pss2W-6jt to view her artwork.

AUTHORS: If you have a new book coming out and want to be considered for a post, please e-mail me at: Kathy.temean (at) gmail.com

Call for illustrations for April: You can send anything, but I am especially looking for illustrations that reflect the month. I hope you will send something in. Last month, I did not receive very many. This is a good way to get your work seen. Don’t wait, I will post the illustrations as they come in. Please make sure the illustration is at least 500 pixels wide and include a blurb about yourself and a link to see more of your work. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com and put “April Illustration” in the subject box.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Today's tip is short and to the point.

Once again, I quote from Jack Prelutsky, in Worlds of Childhood: The Art and Craft of Writing for Children (Zinsser):

Alan Kingsberg was asked to be part of the New Jersey SCBWI Conference, because we a few of our member are studying with him in NYC.  The views of what they are learning from him and how he has helped improve their middle grade books are fabulous. So if you can see you book as a TV show or just want to enhance your book with more visual scenes, then you should consider signing up for this intensive workshop. Here is the description:

This intensive workshop is designed to teach children’s book authors and illustrators How To Break Into TV Writing. Topics will include: How to adapt your book or story for TV; how to structure a TV script that sells; how to build a writing portfolio to get an agent or a job; story telling for books vs. TV, and how to start writing a pilot script or improve the one you’re writing. This class is designed to teach you how to break into a growing and lucrative market with your existing talents and creative skills. The class is suited for beginners and experienced writers. Whether your goal is to turn your book into a successful TV series, get staffed on an existing TV show, or simply explore a new creative arena, this workshop will help you move forward. Clips will be screened from iCarly, Victorious, 30 Rock, News Room and Seinfeld.

In 1999, Alan Kingsberg created the popular TV writing workshop at Columbia University’s Graduate Film School.  He’s been teaching TV Writing and Advanced TV Writing to Columbia MFA students for over a decade. His students’ TV scripts have won many national contests, including the Humanitas Award and multiple first place prizes at the highly competitive film festivals.

Alan’s students have written for 30 ROCK, WEEDS, NEW GIRL, LAW AND ORDER, SMASH, LAST MAN STANDING, VEGAS, CONAN O’BRIEN, and CALIFORNICATION.

Alan has written for numerous network and cable shows including NBC’s “Law and Order: Criminal Intent” and Nickeloden’s “Are You Afraid of the Dark?”  He has been a show runner on five animated TV series including the hits “Winx Club”, “Pokemon” and “Cubix”.  As a show runner he produced or wrote over 220 half hour episodes.

Email Alan

TESTIMONIALS

“Alan is a phenomenal teacher, who taught me everything about TV writing, from story structure to dialogue.  In his class, I wrote and revised the scripts that launched my career in the industry.”  –– Vanessa Reisen, Supervising Producer, WEEDS, CALIFORNICATION.

“The script I wrote in Alan’s class won first prize at the Austin Film Festival, secured me an agent, and got me my first feature screenwriting job at Fox Searchlight Films.” – Martina Broner, Writer/Producer.

“Alan inspires you to write.  He is straightforward and clear.  When you take his class, you’ll end up writing a spec script for a TV show.  He is the real deal.”  – Beth Einhorn, Writer: THE TONIGHT SHOW.

“The Scrubs Spec I wrote in Alan’s class won the Humanitas award ($10,000).  Alan’s class prepared me to work successfully in the industry.”  Chris Carlson, Editorial Director, SPIKE TV.

Conference Link: www.regonline.com/njscbwi2013conference

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

In an essay by Jack Prelutsky entitled: In Search of the Addle-paged Paddlepuss (included in an anthology entitled: Worlds of Childhood: The Art and Craft of Writing for Children; edited by William Zinsser), he says:

One of the main differences between a poet and a non-poet is that a poet knows he is not going to remember what happened. Therefore he is smart enough to carry a notebook and write it down....Another secret of writing, along with taking notes, is keeping your eyes and your ears open, keeping your mind and your heart open, and being aware of what's going on around you.

I think it's important for writers to pay attention to the extraordinary in the ordinary - to notice the small things around us that the average observer might not notice or note to memory.

And when you notice those small things, WRITE THEM DOWN.

Now, granted, I have to write down, "Get up in the morning," but, still....I try to write down the little things that catch my attention.

Example: While visiting my friend, Dolores, last week, she told me that when she was a little girl, she loved going to visit her aunt in Vermont. One of her most vivid memories about those visits is what her aunt always served her three things - one of which she loved and two of which she hated.

The three things were:

• Creamed corn (the thing she loved)
• Tripe
• Moxie

This Good Friday Illustration was sent in by MaryJo Scott, a freelance illustrator and mother of three. Besides filling journals with sketches and words, she moonlights as an open mic storyteller and poet. Growing up the youngest of six and working in my parents’ coffee/gift shop, has given me an unending supply of humorous and poignant stories. My favorite things are walking out of a library with an armful of books, hiking, gardening, visiting with my chickens (the girls and one talkative rooster) and looking for salamanders under rocks with my kids. http://maryjoscott.carbonmade.com

Leading off the critiques for March is the only one who used the picture prompt. I want to thank everyone for submitting their first pages and thank Janine for taking time out of her busy schedule to critique the four pages and help so many writers in the process.

HE LOVES ME NOT  By Lauri C. Meyers – YA 

       “He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me.” Rose said plucking the lily’s purple petals.

“You’re doing it all wrong,” a voice spoke behind her. Rose turned to see a beautiful stranger approaching. Almost too lovely for real life, and certainly too gorgeous for Corning.

“I can show you the correct way, but,” the stranger paused, her eyes gleaming, “you should only try if you’re certain of his love. Though, you wouldn’t be pulling petals if you were sure.”

“I know he loves me deeply. I was merely,” Rose selected her words, “reassuring myself.”

“Delightful. Then you are indeed ready for the test. Escort me to the water.” Though Rose was not in the habit of following strangers, she easily slid her arm in the woman’s elbow when offered.  This woman felt safe, or at least irresistible.

“Water flows all around the world, across the land, down the mountains, into the sky, and through every living thing. Water courses through you right now.  If anyone knew the truth, it would be the water.”  The stranger brushed Rose’s cheek with her supple fingers. The words sounded as true as anything she had ever learned. Certainly, water did know more than anyone.

“Though my pastor says,” Rose attempted to collect the letters floating around her head into the words she heard every Sunday, but the truth was strong. The stranger’s smile dazzled.

“To ask the water, you must be in the water.” Rose didn’t remove her slippers or raise her gown as though entering a carriage, but rather waltzed right into the lake.

“Now say your words. He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me.”

“He loves me. He loves me not.  He loves me. He loves me not,”  Rose chanted.

The water rippled around her, and bubbles began to pop around her fingertips. Then the water tugged her under. She didn’t struggle as the liquid filled her mouth; she just let go knowing the answer to the question.

“It seems he loves you not.”  The stranger walked away from the water.

Here is Janine’s critique for HE LOVES ME NOT by Lauri C. Meyers:

I like how this story opens with a familiar action that immediately tells us something about the main character and creates anticipation for both Rose and the reader–will her love be reciprocated? Then the introduction of the stranger with a better solution follows immediately, breaking our expectations and adding a layer of intrigue. I love the description of the stranger as “Almost too lovely for real life, and certainly too gorgeous for Corning” because it tells us not only about the stranger but also about the setting and, in contrast, presumably, about Rose. The description could also allude to some magical or paranormal ability, which the following paragraphs lead me to believe she possesses. Was that intended? If so, I love the use of simple language to work on so many levels.

While Rose’s interactions with the woman seem strange, I’m willing to believe because the author hangs a lantern on it by saying Rose wouldn’t normally follow strangers but this woman feels irresistible. I do wonder, however what it was Rose was saying about her pastor and why she can’t recall it in the woman’s presence. Has the woman (literally or metaphorically) cast a spell on her? This may be explained in the following pages, and in that case, it’s fine to leave the reader wondering at this point. It seems that Rose has some misgivings about the woman’s proposal, but yet they never fully arise, and for some reason, I’m picturing her as Alice following the White Rabbit down the hole, which I really like. The line that I am hung up on, though, is that “the truth was strong”. I don’t know what that means, and maybe that should be made more clear.

When Rose enters the water and chants, I like the images of the water rippling and the bubbles popping around her. Again, there’s something beautiful and mystical about this description. After that I’m not quite sure what actually happens. Does the current pull her under? Is it some supernatural force? And does she come back up?

There’s a wonderfully enchanting mood set in this piece, and I would definitely keep reading to find out what happens. I do feel a bit disconnected from the two characters, though. If Rose (or the mysterious woman) is the main character, how can we learn more about her? And if neither of them is the protagonist, how are they connected to the protagonist in a way that it sets the stage for the rest of the story?

It would also be beneficial to check for common spelling and grammar errors, which can distract readers. Overall, an engaging first page.
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YA Novel  BABY  by Kathleen Elken

            “Ain’t no way to come into this world.”

That’s what most people say about me bein born in a Port Authority toilet bowl.  That ain’t how I feel about it though.  Givin birth to me in that dirty, ol’ pot was the second best thing my Mama ever done for me.  The best thing was her leavin me there.  Nobody, not nobody should be with someone who don’t love ‘em.  Least that’s what Nell always said, and she be the one who found me.

Hittin that cold water must a been like the slap most babies get ‘cause Nell said I was bawlin like a banshee when she opened that stall door.  She stuck her hands right in and scooped me out.  Used a ribbon from the flowers she was carryin to cut my cord.  Then she wrapped me tight in her coat and held me close.  Back and forth, back and forth she rocked, waitin on that other lady to bring back help.

Those transit cops, they said I was so blue, so cold, I’d never make it.
“Hush!” Nell said to them.  “Go find this baby girl’s Mama!”

And they did.  Just followed her blood trail out a that bathroom.  Past those statue people, down those steps, all the way past Hudson News, right up to the Greyhound Ticket Counter.  Mama was just gettin off line, grippin a ticket to Pittsburgh.  She must a used up her whole life savins ‘cause they don’t find no other money on her.

It was good the cops had a hold a her by the arms since her knees buckled right then and there.  They ended up takin both a us down to St. Vincent’s.  We was in that hospital a week, and every day the nurses ask her don’t she want to see me.  But she never did…

Here is Janine’s critique for BABY by Kathleen Elken

What’s most intriguing to me about this main character is not her dramatic birth but her unique perspective on it. I think most readers can agree being abandoned in a public toilet is “no way to come into this world”, but the main character holds no grudges and wants no sympathy, finding herself lucky to have at least been given a chance at a life with someone who loved her, which presumably she found in Nell. Immediately, I’m drawn to like this character who sees her own bad fate in the best possible light.

I love the imagery in this first page, from the baby hitting the water like a slap, to the transit cops following the trail of blood “past those statue people…”, to the mother gripping a bus ticket to Pittsburgh. The voice is compelling, and I’d definitely want to keep reading.

As I’ve noted, the story about the main character’s birth is interesting and sweeps me along, and it certainly tells us a lot about the character. However, at the end of this page, I have very little idea what the novel is about. I assume the main character is now a young adult and I wonder what’s going on with this character at present. Perhaps this first page is actually back story that could be worked in later once we’re better grounded in the plot? Or maybe one paragraph could come before the first line to set up why this information is important for us to know right away?

One general thing to keep in mind here is the dialect. While I enjoy the element it adds to the narrator’s voice, I think the level of dialect may be a little intense for some readers. I found it distracting that in some sentences there were multiple words in dialect. It might sound more natural if less dialect were used to greater effect; for example, adding the “g” back in at the end of words ending in “ing” but keeping more impactful expressions like “ol’ pot”.

The first page has great writing and a strong protagonist.
__________________________________________________________________________________________

Picture Book   Ants in My Pants by Linda Bozzo

Amy Sue whirled into Room 13 waving a note. “This is from my mom.”
She bounced up and down on her left foot. Then she bounced up and down on her right foot.

Dear Mrs. Diaz,
Amy Sue can’t stay still today. I hope you’ll know what to do.
Mrs. Jitters

Amy Sue plopped down in her desk. Her toes tapped. Tappity, tap, tap. Her hands clapped. Clappity, clap, clap.
The class could not help but notice.

Amy Sue pulled out her book and tried to read. But her backside grew fidgety. Her desk shook. Smack! Amy Sue’s crayons crashed to the floor.

“Amy Sue, why can’t you stay still today?” asked Mrs. Diaz.

“I’ve got ants in my pants and I don’t know what to do.”

“Oh, my!” said Mrs. Diaz. “Be a dear and give this to Mrs. Water and ask her for new crayons.”

Amy Sue zigzagged to the art room. She dashed from one side of the room to the other before she dropped the note on Mrs. Water’s desk.

Dear Mrs. Waters,
Amy Sue needs a new box of crayons. By the way, she can’t stay still today. Can you help?
Mrs. Diaz

“Amy Sue, why can’t you stay still?”

“I have ants in my pants and I don’t know what to do.”

Here is Janine’s critique of ANTS IN MY PANTS by Linda Bozzo:

This story has the potential to be a really fun read aloud. I love the verbs here: whirled, bounced, plopped, tapped, clapped, shook, crashed, zigzagged, dashed… I can see Amy Sue moving and I think young readers would be drawn in by her actions (and perhaps able to relate in not being able to control their fidgets). I would definitely keep reading to find out what else those ants will make Amy do and how she’ll get rid of them.

As engaging as the narration was, I was a little less enthralled with the notes and the dialog, and I found they pulled me away from Amy’s motion that was otherwise propelling the story forward. I wonder if those interactions couldn’t be summed up in the narration? Taking this a step further, as written now, the grownups are trying to solve Amy’s problem, when it might be more interesting to see the main character search for her own solutions. How does she try to control the “ants in her pants” and what other trouble does she cause enroute to succeed?

This is a strong first page. I think if you continue developing the main character and the action, it could be even stronger. Again, I’d read further to find out what happens here.
______________________________________________________________________________________

MG Novel  FOURTEEN AND FEELING LIKE POLLYWOG POO by Doris Stone    

As I opened the screen door I sensed tension. Something was wrong, but what?   Dad sat at the kitchen table- normal.   He had a cup of coffee- normal.  His head was down like he was reading or deep in thought- normal.  I dropped my backpack onto the floor with a thud. He didn’t look up – UNUSUAL!

“Guess who aced her Algebra test?”  I said, trying to sound cheerful. But for some reason, it felt like cockroaches were gnawing on the insides of my stomach.

“Jilly,” Dad said letting out a mournful sigh.  The tone in his voice stopped me in my tracks.

“Huh?” I said slipping into the chair across from him.  He sucked in a deep breath and whispered. “I have to go.”  His blue eyes looked faded, lifeless and his face taunt. “I got my orders. I’ve been called up.”

For a moment, I couldn’t comprehend what he was talking about.  But then it was clear.  Dad was going to war and I was going to live with Aunt Karen. A sick feeling coiled around me like the tentacles of a massive squid.  My chest hurt. Every bit of life was being squeezed out of me.  It was a panicky feeling I knew all too well.

Dad stood up and walked to the kitchen window. “This isn’t what I planned.”   He looked over the driveway- staring blankly as if somehow- someway the answer to our problems could be found, written in the asphalt.  A few seconds later he walked over, put his hand on my shoulder and said “We’ll be all right. We’ve been through worse.  You and me kid, we always make it through.” But his voice sounded weak.

I needed it strong. What could I say?  No problem.  Everything will be fine.  I don’t mind changing schools again.  Keppler and Cruze will be fine without me. I really wanted to make him feel better.  I wanted to say, everything will be all right. But damn it! Things were different this time.

Here is Janine’s critique for FOURTEEN AND FEELING LIKE POLLYWOG POO by Doris Stone:

I’m torn about this first paragraph. I like what it tells us about Jilly’s relationship with her father: they’re close enough that she can immediately sense her father’s tension, even if she doesn’t know how she knows. It rings true to me that she takes stock of the situation

to try and figure out what’s different. However, the mental checklist format feels a bit unnatural as she would make those observations more quickly and running through it that way gives a bit of a detective feel, which doesn’t seem to fit with the scene that follows.

The author uses great metaphors to show how the main character’s feeling, such as, “A sick feeling coiled around me like the tentacles of a massive squid.” With such a strong sentence, I don’t know if the next two sentences are necessary because they essentially say the same thing but less effectively. I also feel the father’s emotion when he stares out the window and speaks reassuring words in a weak voice. I would be careful to keep the girl’s voice age-appropriate, though. It seems out of character for a young girl to observe “His blue eyes looked faded, lifeless and his face taunt”. What does the father do to show his feelings? What subtle things would the character more likely notice, like in the above example? It also felt out of voice to me later when the character says “damn it” in a way that seems too adult. Most of the things Jilly does, says, and feels seem believable and age appropriate, so I wouldn’t want to pull the reader away from her story with these more adult lines.

I’m intrigued that apparently the father has been deployed (or at least transferred) before but this time things are different. I want to know more about that. What’s different? And just who are Kepler and Cruze? I like that these facts are dropped in, and I’d want to keep reading to find out the answers. However, there are some details I feel need to be filled in sooner. I’m unsure how many times Jilly’s father has been deployed; Jilly doesn’t comprehend what her father means at first, but then she says she knows the feeling all too well and that she’s changed schools before. These statements seem to contradict each other. Additionally, I wonder what worse things the father and daughter have been through before? And has Jilly lived with Aunt Karen in the past or was there a mother (or someone else) in the picture before? When too many of these questions creep in without any answers, I start feeling like I’m observing a private conversation, and I want to be more in the loop so I can feel fully invested in the characters.

As a note, the fourth paragraph should be split into two so you don’t have two characters speaking in one paragraph. Another great first page that would keep me reading!

____________________________________________________________

Remember you can meet Janine Hauber from the Sheldon  Fogelman Agency at the New Jersey SCBWI Conference in June. For more details, or to register go to: www.regonline.com/njscbwi2013conference This is a great opportunity to get to know Janine. Thanks again Janine. It is very appreciated!

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

A large part of revision involves CUTTING.

DELETING.

TRASHING.

But I know it's hard to know what to cut, delete, and trash.

One thing to look for is fake dialogue.

Here's what I mean by fake dialogue: Dialogue that is inserted for the sole purpose of informing the reader of something that the characters already know.

I hate that.

Here's a made-up example:

"I'm kind of nervous, aren't you?" Katherine said. "I mean, this is our first time on the middle school bus and since we're in the fifth grade, we'll be the youngest ones."

"Yeah, I'm pretty nervous, too," Mona said. "And we have soccer practice today. We've never been on a real team before. And all the others will be better than us because they went to soccer camp while we had to stay home and babysit."

I hate that.

It's fake dialogue.

The characters already know this information.

If you've got to convey the information to the reader - figure out some other way to do it.

CUT.....DELETE.....TRASH.....FAKE DIALOGUE.

What do picture books and sonnets have in common? Simon Kaplan from Picture Book People knows. Here’s Simone:

There are the obvious connections: wonderful language, the distillation of a concept, the rhythm, the (sometimes) rhyme.

And the fact that both are made up of fourteen units.

The sonnet is essentially a fourteen-line poem. That’s the important thing about a sonnet.

And a picture book is essentially a fourteen-spread form. That’s the important thing about a picture book. There are, of course, other important things. There’s never just one. But the one that might just be of most help to writers structuring their work is to think in terms of fourteen spreads.

Here’s how I get to fourteen spreads.

Standard picture books are thirty-two pages long. Printing presses work in sheets of paper each of which yields eight pages—the most commonly used for a picture book is thirty-two pages. Go and find a picture book, then count the pages. Really, do it. I’ll wait. Maybe I’ll go and make a cup of tea. . . .

Are you back? Did you count the pages? You might have found that some books are twenty-eight pages long, some might be forty, but most are thirty-two pages—excluding the endpapers. Please keep the book with you. I’m going to refer to it again in this article. Because although a book is many things that aren’t tangible, the physical object—paper, ink, glue, binding, cardboard—is one thing that is. And this physical object—and how its constraints affect the making of the book as a piece of art—is an important part of the process of writing one.

There are certain conventions of book making that come into play too.

The reader wants to know what the book is called, who wrote it, and who illustrated it.

Readers also might want to know when the book was published, who published it, and how you can reach the publisher. There’s the technical information that needs to be included: ISBN number and Library of Congress cataloging details. And legal information such as copyright notification. Then there’s the dedication, which gives book creators the opportunity to express love and appreciation.

All that information is called “front matter” because it goes, well, at the front of the book. The front matter usually takes up three pages: the half title, title, and copyright/dedication pages. Look at the book you have plucked from your bookshelf and examine it. Count the pages in the front matter. There are probably three—the minimum would be two.

Here’s another thing the front matter does. It acts like a curtain. You know how, when you go to the theater, you look at the stage and it’s—often—hidden by a curtain. There’s the wonderful moment when the house lights go down. Your attention is directed to the stage, and the theater becomes hushed. The lights shine on the curtain and then it rises. The performance begins. That is kind of what the front matter of a book does. It separates the experience of reading the book from your everyday experiences. It sets the tone of the book. It says: what follows is different from what happened before. It focuses your attention on this book, this moment, this story, and these pictures.

You can start to tell your story in the front matter. Mo Willems does it beautifully. But mostly the front matter sets the tone of the book. And what follow the three pages of front matter are twenty-nine pages—fourteen spreads and a single page at the end. That last page—page thirty-two—serves the same kind of function as the front matter. It ends the story, ideally, with a satisfying click; it ties it up with a bow. The story itself unfolds between the front matter and the last page. That’s twenty-eight pages, fourteen spreads. If you think of your book in those terms and use the information to structure your story—scaffold your manuscript—you can save months and years of work. I invite you to try it.

Editors and publishers are always looking for wonderful manuscripts to publish, but they don’t have the time or resources to cultivate talent in the same way that they used to. Editors need you to know your craft before you send them a manuscript–and the best way to acquire this knowledge is by obtaining great editorial feedback about your writing. It is precisely this feedback that Simone Kaplan offers you.  www.picturebookpeople.com Simone is part of the faculty for the New Jersey SCBWI Conference in June.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

We’ve invited Karen Sandler, author of Tankborn and the sequel, Awakening, to the blog to share her wisdom about how to plot a trilogy. In her first guest post last week, “The Trouble With Trilogies,” Karen shared the challenges she experienced while plotting the second two novels in her Tankborn series. Today she shares five useful tips for writers taking a stab at trilogies:

Five Tips for Writing Trilogies

1. Keep notes on the culture, including governmental structure, societal structure, flora and fauna, religion, and local calendar. You’ll want to refer to it often. 
2. Draw a map and keep it up to date. In my case, the Tankborn series takes place on a planet called Loka, in which there are different regions called sectors. I added sector names to a map as the stories progressed. I had to keep track of the fact that, for example, Daki sector was northwest and Sona sector southeast. 
   

   The continent Svarga

3. Keep a list of character names. I didn’t do this as much as I should have, which meant I had to constantly search the previous manuscript for a particular name. 
4. Keep track of your invented terminology and other names unique to your story. While some of this I scribbled in a folder (for example, the names of the trinity moons on Loka are Abrahm, Avish, and Ashiv), most of my invented words were incorporated in a glossary that appears in Awakening, the second book. I’ll keep adding to this for the third book, Revolution.
5. In the end, sometimes you just have to let story take precedence over continuity. I know some readers will exclaim, “Wait, she never talked about this in Tankborn!” But some things are just too good to leave out even though I hadn’t thought of them while writing the first book. Nothing I have added directly contradicts the Tankborn world (GENs—genetically engineered nonhumans—aren’t suddenly being genned with wings, and Svarga’s Got Talent! isn’t suddenly the new hit TV show). The additional material fits the current society/culture, it just wasn’t highlighted before. 
   

   A drom, one of the fictional animals that inhabits the Tankborn world

Further Reading

How to Plot a Trilogy Part I: The Trouble with Trilogies

From author Elizabeth George:

Anything that attracts attention to itself within your writing is something that's going to take the reader out of the story. Remember: Your objective is to do everything possible to keep the reader in the story. But you have to do it without calling attention to it. A tricky business.

I love this quote and all I can say is: Amen, Sistah!

A real life example:

I critiqued a manuscript for a friend once. A terrific writer. A terrific story. I was reading along and came across a phrase that I loved.

I subconsciously made a mental note of it - in a hey-I-like-that kind of way.

Maybe 50 or 60 pages later, there was the same phrase!

This time, my reaction was: Uh, oh....the writer likes this phrase, too.

Now the writer has intruded into my reading.

The writer has made her presence known.

Which pulled me out of the story.

Not. good.

So, my advice for today is: Be very, very careful about attracting attention to your writing. Don't overuse particular phrases or even words. (Trust me, easier said than done. I've been saved by brilliant copy editors on more than one occasion.)

Once again, I'm quoting author Elizabeth George:

I develop a place that I can own on paper because I want the reader to experience the setting right along with the characters.

Ms. George placed the emphasis on the word "own", but for me, the key word in that quote is "EXPERIENCE".

Setting is critical to enabling the reader to experience the story.

In order to experience the story, the reader must experience the setting.

That means seeing all the little things there are to see: hubcaps in the weeds, dogwood trees in bloom, a bullet-riddled stop sign.

And feeling: the gooey tar on a hot road; the coarseness of a wool blanket.

And smelling: burned toast; honeysuckle; lavender talcum powder.

And hearing: the sprinkler in the yard; the crickets in the garden; the clickety clack of high-heeled shoes

It's critical for the writer to become so totally immersed in the setting that the reader can experience each scene perfectly - like a movie.

Sometimes I find myself with a setting that is very clear to me - in my mind - but is often hard to translate onto the page so that the reader can see it, too.

In order to help me maneuver the character throughout the physical setting, I sometimes draw a little sketch.

Here is the sketch of the setting of The Fantastic Secret of Owen Jester:



This may come as a shock to some of you, but I am no artist. :-)

But that simple little sketch is a big help to me as the main character moves around from place to place.

It helps me to help the reader EXPERIENCE the setting.

Chuck Sambuchino who writes the Guide to Literary Agents Blog from Writer’s Digest had another good post and is sponsoring a book give-a-way of Kathy Leonard Czepiel, author of A VIOLET SEASON
(Simon & Schuster), named one of the best books of 2012 by Kirkus Reviews.

She is the recipient of a 2012 creative writing fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts, and her short fiction has appeared in Cimarron Review, Indiana Review, CALYX, Confrontation, Brain Child, and elsewhere.

Czepiel teaches writing at Quinnipiac University in Connecticut, where she lives with her husband and two daughters. Learn more about Czepiel
and her work at her website.

As an added bonus, Chuck posted five of Kathy’s tips on writing the first draft of your novel. So read and learn, then visit Chuck to leave a comment and maybe win a copy of Kathy Leonard Czepiel’s award winning YA Fantasy Novel.

1. Make an outline. Then be willing to leave it behind. Writing an outline forces me to think through some big questions before I begin. But I follow it the way I travel with my husband sans kids: “Hey, Honey, look at this weird little mountain on the map. Wanna check it out?” And pretty soon the story has taken a turn. Sometimes the side trip changes everything, and I revise my outline. Sometimes it’s a dead end. Then I have my outline to get me back on track.

(Learn how to start your novel.)

2. Think of your first draft as the clay, not the sculpture. Imagine that what you are doing is digging up clay, just a hunk of stuff from which you’ll create something later. Much of it will be messy and unrefined, but that’s not your problem now. Your job is simply to get from the beginning to the end. Keep digging! When it’s time to write a second draft, you will have your raw material.

3. Every time you think about how pedestrian and clumsy and downright awful your first draft is, remind yourself that no one else has to read it. I don’t show my first draft to anyone. I already know it needs a lot more work, and I even know what some of that work will be, so asking someone else to read it would be pointless (and embarrassing). If you don’t know what your first draft needs, then by all means, ask for help. But if you decide not to show it to anyone, it may be best not to tell anyone about it either. Otherwise, your well-meaning friends will keep asking you how it’s going, and you will have to distract them with beer or chocolate or witty conversation on another topic (my personal favorite).

4. Don’t let a lack of research slow you down. I write historical fiction, so I do a lot of research, but I only do a little bit to get started. When I began drafting my debut novel, A Violet Season, I needed to know that violets were grown in the Hudson Valley beginning in the early 1890s, and that wet nurses had become somewhat obsolete by the turn of the century, when infant formula was invented. As for the details—how to pick violets, how much wet nurses were paid—in my first draft, I made them up! If I’d been concerned about research too soon, all those trips to the library (and the violet farm, and the Lower East Side of New York City, and so on) might have prevented me from ever finishing that first draft. Instead, I use CAPS in my first drafts to indicate where details need to be filled in later.

(Read author interviews with debut novelists.)

5. Set a deadline. A Violet Season was written over four summers—each summer, another draft. This was a crazy schedule, I know, but in some ways it was perfect. There was a clear end to the summers (sadly), and to my drafts. If you don’t have a deadline, you run the risk of one draft spilling into the next, and you may never feel a sense of closure or accomplishment. This is really important in a business in which we often work alone and without recognition. When you finish your draft, celebrate! Then start the next one.

GIVEAWAY: Kathy is excited to give away a free copy of her novel to a random commenter. Comment within 2 weeks; winners must live in Canada/US to receive the book by mail. You can win a blog contest even if you’ve won before. (Please note that comments may take a little while to appear; this is normal).

Deadline for leaving a comment ends on March 20th, so don’t delay.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Good dialogue needs good beats.

What are beats, you ask?

Beats are small pieces of action interspersed throughout the dialogue.

For example, from Moonpie and Ivy, the beats are in bold:

"My mama just up and left." Pearl flung an arm in the direction of the road. "Just perched her butt behind the wheel of that crappy old care and drove away. What do you think of that?"

"Who know. Last I heard, she was running wild over in Macon." Ivy's face got redder. "Makes my blood boil," she said.

From Fame and Glory in Freedom, Georgia:

"If you had a kid who needed glasses and you didn't have any money, what would you do?"
Miss Delphine tapped her fingernail against her coffee mug. "Well, I suppose I'd start with school," she said.

I LOVE beats! They are critical to the rhythm of the dialogue - and I love rhythm.

Using beats for rhythm takes practice - and reading out loud (or at least hearing the dialogue).

Let beats work for you.

Use beats to:

• Identify who is speaking (to avoid the use of a dialogue tag)
• Develop character (especially if the action is unique rather than common)
• Show the emotions of the speaker
• Break up the dialogue
• Allow the reader to visualize the action
• Vary the rhythm
• Move the story along

So, I thought I'd continue the theme of "not every rule/process/technique is right for everyone."

Sometimes (well, okay, a lot of times) writers say to other writers, "Don't worry about that messy writing right now. Just keep going and you can fix it later."

Or

"Writers should write every day."

Or

"You need to practice writing. It doesn't matter what - just jot down stream-of-consciousness stuff or whatever - it's the practice that counts."

Or

"Writers should keep journals."

But you know what?

That advice just doesn't work for me.

Trust me, I've tried all those things.

Like my post about character development exercises, I feel strongly that every writer is different.

What works for one doesn't work for everyone.

I think it's important to try new ways of doing things, but to ultimately find your groove and your style.

I can't just "keep going" on a piece and "worry about it later." I need to tidy up as I go along. That's the way I work.

I hate, loathe and despise writing for the sake of writing.

I write when I have something worthwhile to write that feels good writing.

I don't want to "practice" by writing crapola that means nothing to me.

That kind of writing does absolutely nothing to help me as a writer; it only frustrates me and makes me want to watch Judge Judy reruns or vacuum my closet floors instead.

AND - I don't feel that I have to write every day.

Some days I need to think about writing.

Thinking about writing is part of the process of writing. My BEST writing is a product of much thought.

And some days I need to watch Judge Judy reruns.

That's my style. That's what works best for me.

As for journaling? I've tried it.

I've bought the most beautiful journals you ever saw - leather ones and satin ones and embroidered ones. I even have some I got in Italy with buttery soft leather covers and little straps that wrap around them and handmade paper.

Those journals end up saying stuff like: "Dang, today I ate way too many potato chips." Or "Got this adorable jacket on sale at Nordstrom. Woohoo!"

Maybe it's because I'm just shallow like that, but journaling does NOTHING for my "real" writing.

So my tip is this:

Listen to advice from other writers. Learn what processes/exercises/habits work for them - especially writers whose work you admire.

Try those processes/exercises/habits.

Then decide what works best for YOU.

If that means writing every day, then by all means, do it.

If that means journaling, do it.

If that means writing only when you have something you want and need to write about, do it.

If that means watching Judge Judy reruns, do it.

And my final thought?

If you don't write every day, I say:

SO WHAT?



P.S. to teachers: Keep in mind that some of the tips I offer here won't necessarily apply to youngsters. Most of my tips are intended primarily for my fellow grown-up writers who write for children. I understand that 4th graders may very well benefit from journaling, for instance. And fifth graders may need to write every day. And sixth graders probably need to practice writing by just writing "stuff".

But like many things in life, the "rules" that apply to children don't always apply to adults, and vice versa.

Sometimes kids need to just "do as I say and not as I do" until they are "fully cooked" enough to do it their own way, right?

There - that's my disclaimer.

:-)

When it comes to novels:

Just because it really happened doesn't mean it "works."

Just because it really happened doesn't make it interesting.

Just because it really happened doesn't make it credible.

Writers draw from real life.

Of course.

That's often what sparks our imaginations.

That's what adds "life" to our writing - gives it the sensory "glow" it needs, the characters who seem so real, the dialogue that draws the reader into the story, etc.

But fiction writing is still fiction.

It usually needs a heck of a lot more "spark" than real life.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard a writer respond to a negative critique or questionable comment about their story by saying, "But that's the way it really happened."

My response to that is: "Yeah. So what?"

If it isn't interesting...

If it doesn't "work"....

If it isn't believable (even if it really happened!) ...

It might need a dose of FICTION.

So my advice today is: Draw from real life. Use real life for your spark, your seed, your first breath. But if you're writing fiction, add a layer (or two or three), twist it in a new direction, shake it up, throw in some spice, take it farther.....

You're writing FICTION.

• Have you appealed to a variety of senses, described not only what things look like but also how they sound, smell and taste?
• Have you selected details beyond the obvious?

Yogi Bera said: You can't hit and think at the same time.

I would amend that to say: You can't write and think at the same time.

By that I mean, sometimes (most times), your best writing will come when you don't think so hard about it - when you let it just flow out of you in a zenlike way.

That is certainly true for me.

I can feel when my writing sounds forced - when it doesn't flow well.

And those times are almost always the result of thinking too much.

Natalie Goldberg calls this writing with your monkey mind - as opposed to your wild mind (in her book, Wild Mind: Living the Writer's Life).

Katherine Paterson says: Send your inner critic off on vacation and just write the way little children play. You can't be judge and creator at the same time.

So my advice is to save your monkey mind for revising - but while you are creating, use your wild mind.

Don't think too hard about it.

Make sense?

How to Make Money Marketing Articles

From writer Elizabeth George in her book Write Away:

1. The primary event that will get the ball rolling in the novel
2. The arc of the story containing the beginning, the middle, and the ending OR (and please note that word OR)
3. An intriguing situation that immediately suggest a cast of characters in conflict.

I have met authors who have spent over $25,000 to self-publish their own book in print. Not counting the content of the book, the quality of the illustrations, paper, cover was beautiful. This was before print on demand, so that same person now could self-publish the same book for less than half that amount.  But still that book had problems. Two many pages, too young of story for the writing and format.  This is something many new authors make and the reason I tell you not to rush your book out the door.

To have a good selling enjoyable picture book the illustrations and design has to go along with the text. Many times a new author will go with a Vanity/Subsidy publisher who offers to publish their book, because they can forego an agent, graphic and interior layout designers, editors, printers, advertising, distribution,  marketing specialists, and book publicists. But buyer beware, what type of artwork will they provide? The books I have seen have used low level artists or the pay so low, that an illustrator can’t give the book the time it needs to shine and the results are awful. I don’t know about you, but I buy most of my picture books because I love the artwork. Of course I have an art degree, so illustration is a big part of my life, but in my opinion a picture book must have enjoyable art or it will fall flat on its face. So spend a lot of time making sure you hire someone who can make it happen. But don’t be a control freak. You will stiffle the artist and not get the best out of them.

So hear I am preaching about the steps you need to take to help lift up the reputation and quality of Self-Published books. These are the steps you need to take even if you want to snag an agent or pique the interest of a mainstream publisher.

The First draft – just the beginning. This is where you write your story and then get your critique group to read it and give you their thoughts. They should be able to point out if they see any holes in your story. Whether they like your main character. Is he/she sympathetic? Too mean? Too dumb? Are there places in the manuscript where they were pulled out of the story?
Are their holes in your plot? Here is a list of questions you can ask them to answer:

Is the conflict strong, or is it contrived and something a conversation could resolve?

Setting? Does it seem real?

Are the senses involved? (description of smell, touch, taste, etc.)

Does the story hold your interest? If not, where did you lose interest?

Accuracy and consistency: Do the facts seem accurate, (no cell phones in the 1700s, for example) and are they consistent (blue eyes don’t turn green somewhere along the way.)

Were you able to suspend disbelief?

Does the story work? Do you want to read more?

With characters, ask yourself: Are the main characters three-dimensional? Sympathetic? Are other characters well drawn? Are motivations strong and clear?

Writing Style

Voice: Strong? Too passive?

Any problems with point of view? If there are multiple points of view, are the POV changes handled well?

Does the dialogue sound natural? Is the dialogue of each character distinct, or does everyone sound the same?

Does the dialogue move the story forward?

Were there too many “he said” dialogue tags, or awkward substitutes for “said?” (snarled, hissed.)

As to back story: Is it woven into the story, or are there any info dumps or “As you know, Bob”s (use of dialogue to dump information into the story.)

Is there too much narrative? Too many flashbacks?

Are the sentences clear, or do they need to be reworded to improve clarity?

Is the story well-paced, or does it slow in places?

Is there plenty of white space, or is the writing dense? (In other words, are the paragraphs short and interspersed with dialogue, or are they long blocks of type running a half page—or more.)

Second Draft – This is where you go back and correct the problems that rang true from your critiques.
Then you get your critique group and if possible, a few different people to read your story to see if you improved the story. Just because you rewrite doesn’t mean you have made the manuscript better. If you have, then it is on to the third draft.

You could also hire a consultant to read and critique your story to help you through this process, but that is additional money you will have to spend. This can run you $150 – $5000, according to the amount of pages, the amount of time, and the amount of expertise.

Third Draft – This is where you read every line and decide if each line is written to the best of your ability. Can the sentence be tighten? Have you repeated the same basic thought in more than one sentence? Have you repeated the same word a number of times? Have you overwritten a scene? Do you need every word? If you are writing in first person. Have you avoided starting your sentences with “I” as much as possible? Have you avoided the use of dialog tags where you can? Do your characters act age appropriate? Does your first page hook your reader? Do you have a sagging middle? Do you have a subplot? Do you have tension that builds to the climax? Are there words that can be changed to be more interesting word?  After making these changes, it is on to the 4th draft.

Fourth Draft – This is where you read the book aloud. How do the sentences sound? Do you hear anything that breaks the tension. Do you hear anything that takes you in another direction?

There are many roads to take to get to this point. Now you should be ready to submit your manuscript to publishers or decide on the plan you are going to follow to Self-Publish. Next week we will talk about your plan of action.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy