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Back when I was practicing law, I had a sign hanging in my office that said: Perfectionism is an elegant defense against real life.

I kept a separate note inside my desk that read:  If I don’t win your case, I’ll eat a bug. I leave it to you to decide how those two things matched up.

(And for more adventures of being a law student and lawyer, you can read my lawyer romance LOVE PROOF. It’s lots of fun.)

The issue of perfectionism haunts a lot of us. We’re never quite there. Wherever “there” is. And sometimes that feels like a moving target.

It’s why I was interested in this TED talk by Sarah Lewis about success versus the “near win.” About success versus mastery. I loved her stories of artists and writers who knew their work was never complete, but who put it out there anyway. (Or who ordered their friends to burn everything after the artist died, but too bad–friends hardly ever obey those crazy wishes.)

It’s why even though I know some of my novels aren’t perfect, I still let you read them. Because I like the stories and want to share them with you, even though sometimes when I look back at them I might wince at this line of dialogue, that awkward scene, some weird way of putting something that at the time I thought was cool. Oh well. I did my best. And I’m going to keep moving forward and write the next one, rather than constantly mess around with one I’ve already “finished.”

Which is my way of saying that if you don’t love every single word I write, that’s okay–I probably don’t, either. But overall I’m happy with the idea that you and I sat around a campfire one night and I told you this story from start to finish. And we had fun. There were marshmallows. And then the next night we moved on to some new story instead of me saying, “You know last night when I told you the girl in the story’s name is Rose? It’s Giselle instead. And that part about her hating her mother? Forget it–her mom died.” Etc. Etc. BORING. Move on. We already got to The End on that one–give me something new.

With that, I give you Sarah Lewis and her talk “Embracing the Near Win”:

My boyfriend shared this with me recently, reminding me that writing is a process. We need to make room for our imperfections to turn into creative assets!

My boyfriend shared this with me recently, reminding me that writing is a process. We need to make room for our imperfections to turn into creative assets!

Our free teleclass Become a Confident Writer last Friday went great! We had our biggest turnout ever — more than 110 people on the line, and our attendees asked some super questions via Twitter chat.

Diana and I discussed how to get over writer snafus like perfectionism, fear of rejection, fear of pitching, underconfidence, and more.

Missed the class? Don’t worry — you can listen to the recording here. (Unfortunately, the file isn’t downloadable, so you’ll need to listen to it online.) I hope you enjoy the class, and please drop by here and let us know what you thought!

Also: Don’t forget that Diana’s Become and Idea Machine and my Write for Magazines e-course start on Monday, April 9…that’s one week from today!

Diana’s students have broken into some impressive magazines with the ideas they generated in her course, including the New York Times, Parenting, Saveur, and Woman’s Day. And my students have landed assignments from publications like Spirituality & Health, Today’s Parent, Working Mother, Weight Watchers, and E: The Environmental Magazine.

Want some of that success for yourself? Check out our e-courses and sign up today! [lf]

I think God has been trying to get something through to me.

It's in books I'm reading, sermons I'm hearing, video ads I'm viewing, conversations I'm having, counsel I am receiving.  I am beginning to get the message, I think, although it has a ways to go to sink down from head to heart.  I'm not even certain of all the implications.  But I think God is telling me I'm looking at myself the wrong way.

I'm not a sinner, in need of God's mercy and grace.  I'm a sinner, already saved by grace.

The distinction is subtle, but critical.  The first perspective puts the burden on me, the sinner, to come to God, to repent, to ask for what I need.  The second viewpoint puts the emphasis on God, on what He has already done, and not just for me, but for all sinners who have put their trust in Him.  It's not even something that "I just need to embrace," as I wanted to write just now.  It's already embracing me.  If there is anything I need to do, it's just to be thankful.

As Brennan Manning says in The Ragamuffin Gospel:

The saved sinner is prostrate in adoration, lost in wonder and praise.  He knows repentance is not what we do in order to earn forgiveness; it is what we do because we have been forgiven. It serves as an expression of gratitude rather than an effort to earn forgiveness.  Thus the sequence of forgiveness and then repentance, rather than repentance and then forgiveness, is crucial for understanding the gospel of grace.

Growing up in a tradition that didn't emphasize regular repentance, there was something about weekly confession in the liturgical service that appealed to me, that felt right and good. I'd like to say that it was an expression of gratitude, as Manning says, but in hindsight, I'm thinking it appealed more to the "good girl" in me, looking for ways to please God and earn his approval...and my own.

I'm not sure what it is in me that thinks I must earn what I could just have...or thinks I need to judge whether I deserve it or not.  But it's been a revelation to discover that in fact, that's what I've been doing...when I could just delight in what is already mine.

For those who feel their lives are a grave disappointment to God, it requires enormous trust and reckless, raging confidence to accept that the love of Christ knows no shadow of alteration or change.  (Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel)


More pleasing to Me than all your prayers, works and penances is that you would believe I love you.  ~Jesus' words to Marjory Kempe in 1667 (quoted by Manning, TRG)


Preoccupation with self is always a major component of unhealthy guilt and recrimination.  It stirs our emotions, churning in self-destructive ways, closes us in upon the mighty citadel of self, leads to depression and despair, and preempts the presence of a compassionate God.  The language of unhealthy guilt is harsh.  It is demanding, abusing, criticizing, rejecting, accusing, blaming, condemning, reproaching, and scolding.  It is one of impatience and chastisement.  Christians are shocked and horrified because they have failed.  (Manning, TRG)

That's me...so upset with myself because I fail on a daily basis. I fail to be the wife, the mother, the daughter, the neighbor, the pastor's wife, the parent, the teacher I feel I could and should be.  And how else am I going to be any better, I think, if I don't reproach and scold myself about the way

Even if you didn’t participate in this year’s November National Novel Writing Month, you can still have access to their NaNoWriMo pep talks that were sent throughout November to participants. Many of them are excellent!

Here’s what it says on their website: “We recruited an all-star team of authors to share their advice and thoughts on writing. Their pep talks will be emailed to participants throughout November. We hope their insight and encouragement help you on your way!”

Here you’ll find pep talks from some of the finest and best-selling writers of our time. Some are serious nuts-and-bolts advice talks while others are tongue-in-cheek funny. Either way, they’re an encouragement to those of us who are challenged on a regular basis with our writing.

Here are a few quotes to whet your appetite:

From Chris Baty: “Incite change. If your story is losing momentum, juice it up by inflicting some major changes on your characters. Crash the spaceship. End the marriage. Buy the monkey. Change is scary because we have to figure out what comes next. But feeling afraid is ten times better than feeling bored, and your book will benefit from your risk-taking. Go big this week! You won’t regret it.”

From Aimee Bender: “What we hold in our heads before we write is RARELY in sync with what shows up on the page, and if I were standing and saying this in front of you with a megaphone, I would say this next part especially loud and clear: The Page is All We Get. What shows up on the page? Well, that is your writing. The full-blown perfectly-whole concept you may have in your head? Is just thought.”

From Holly Black: “Here are some things I wish someone had told me when I was writing my first book. I want to say them to you in the hopes they will help and encourage you. Even if you’ve heard them before, it doesn’t hurt to be reminded.” And then she follows this with seven tips that are right on the money.

From Lindsey Grant: “You’ve been carrying around a story for a while now and you finally started writing it. Getting started is hard enough, but then you went on to write for a full week, bringing your story to life and making your noveling dream a reality. You’re well on your way, writer, and you have come so far already! Don’t let your inner editor convince you that this isn’t worth your time, or that you should start over, or-even worse-that you should start over some other time. For this novel there is no “later.” There is only now.”

From John Green: “All of us harbor secret hopes that a magnificent novel will tumble out of the sky and appear on our screens, but almost universally, writing is hard, slow, and totally unglamorous.”

From Mercedes Lackey: “I can’t think of anything more intimidating than a blank page. Especially the firs