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My Quiet Blog...

The 2010 Writer's Market is going out the door tomorrow, so I haven't had time to post this week (which, hopefully, you have noticed).

I hope you've all checked out the new (and much improved) SCBWI website and registered for the August conference.

I'll be back next week.

Robert's Poem-A-Day Challenge for National Poetry Month...

April is National Poetry Month and to celebrate Robert Brewer (poet, Writer's Market editor, and Poetic Asides blogger) challenged himself to write a poem every day of the month--and he wants other poet's out there you to join him.

Robert kicked of his Poem-A-Day Challenge yesterday. The goal is to simply get poems on paper without worrying so much about quality as just doing the writing. For those who'd like to join the PAD Challenge but need a little kickstart, Robert is offering a poetry prompt each day on his blog. For more inspiration, view the comments on Poetic Asides posts and read the poem's submitted by poets who are participating in the Poem-A-Day Challenge.

If you're not a poet you can still celebrate National Poetry Month by reading poems (kids love em!). Here's an Amazon list of children's poetry books to give you some ideas--heavy on the Prelutsky, of course.

Punkfarmspace: How Social Networking is Transforming Fandom
by Cluck Roosterman

On Monday I wrote about how Punk Farm is quietly undermining the oppressive foundation of the corporate music industry. And while it is true that the creative force of the band is the engine that drives this movement, the deeper reality is that without their fans, Punk Farm would be stuck in neutral. Any great movement, needs a critical mass of support in order to gain the necessary momentum towards lasting social change.

So, does Punk Farm must have a critical mass of fans?

You have no idea.

As I followed the band on the road, I was struck by the hysteria that greeted us at each site. As a rock historian, I haven't seen a group of fans identify this closely with a band since the Phishheads of the early 90s... and before that, the Deadheads who followed the Grateful Dead all over the world. I couldn't wrap my chicken little head around this... how did a small underground farm band gain such a loyal and downright obsessive fanbase? How did the Punk Farm Nation come into being, let alone reach such a feverish pitch?

The answer was simple: Social Networking.

We are in the Age of MySpace and Facebook, an age where an army of similarly-minded people are but a few clicks away. Whereas before it could take years for an upstart band to gain any sort of traction, today you are just a cool website or a hipster doofus music video away from superstardom. People can debate the positives and the negatives of this evolution of human interaction, but there is no debating this: Social Networking is a force to be reckoned with.

The Punk Farm Nation started out with a few loyal fans but spread like wildfire with the launching of Punkfarmspace, a an on-line community where fans could convene to discuss their favorite thing: the music of Punk Farm.

This has had a revolutionary effect on the very nature of fandom. No longer are fans just anonymous faces in a crowd of adoring and screaming Beatlemaniacs. Through the power of these social networks, fans are no longer just observers, they shape the destiny of their favorite band by engaging in what is being dubbed "participatory fanhood."

But that's enough from me. I could go on for days, but rather than listen to me describe the Punk Farm Nation, I decided to do what any intrepid reporter would do and go straight to the source. So while Punk Farm was on stage, I waded through the crowds and interviewed some of the citizens of growing Punk Farm Nation. Here's a sample of what I found.

Fan 1: Isaiah (Colorado)

CR: As a Punk Farm uber-fan, do you ever worry that your adoration will undermine the punk rock spirit of the band? Is popularity at odds with punk rock?



Isaiah: N'aaaah. I wouldn't say. It's more of a movement than anything. As long as the dudes and dudettes of PF don't let all that love go to their heads, they'll be fine. They've been rocking the underground scene for so long now, if a little success goes their way, that's cool. As long as they keep true to their spirit and they continue to share that spirit with others, it's all good.


Fan 2: Shep (Wisconsin)

CR: Describe the experience of hearing Punk Farm for the first time. What is it about Punk Farm that appeals to you?






Shep: Oh man, oh man - I was there! I was there at one of their very first shows in Wisconsin. It blew my mind, shattered my sense of reality. I've seen every Punk Farm show since. And what appeals to me... What doesn't? The drumming, the bass....all the chicken feed you can eat!


Fan 3: Jesi (Texas)

CR: Has listening to Punk Farm had any effect on your relationship with your farmer?





Jesi: OMG - I like totally snuck out of the barn with my BFF to see the show when they were in town. The farmer caught us when we were trying to sneak back in and he made us do all this extra work. So yeah, it put a strain on us and now he has trust issues, but like - it's Punk Farm. I saw them live! I touched Pig, I took a picture with him! That's stuff I'll be telling my grandkids!

(Note: In this author's opinion, Jesi is definitely the frontrunner to win Pig's portrait in the Punk Farm Raffle. She's got #1 Pig Fan written all over her... literally. Seriously, I think she took a magic marker and wrote "#1 Pig Fan" all over her arms and hooves.)


Fan 4: Jerome (Maine)

CR: Is Punk Farm better recorded or live?





Jerome: Oh man, it's no comparison. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love PF's tracks and the sound that they are able to achieve in the studio, it's like putting a genie in a bottle, but you just can't fully replicate the experience in a recording. Seeing PF live is so wicked cool and I highly suggest it to any animal who may be reading this right now. You get to get your groove on with like minded individuals and just soak in the rock!


Fan 5: Tammy (Florida)

CR: If you could choose another band/artist for Punk Farm to collaborate with, which band/artist would that be?




Tammy: I listen to a lot of obscure bands, some stuff from overseas, so I'd love to see PF take a route less taken. What about Puffy Amiyumi? That would becool. Though they wouldn't understand each other. Or maybe the Groovie Ghoulies? I don't know. I just think it would be cool to see a collaboration no one would expect!

...and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Go to Punkfarmspace and you'll see that the Punk Farm Nation extends far beyond the fences of any barnyard, beyond any artificial boundaries... in fact, if I've learned anything on this long strange trip, it's this: Once the rock gets rolling, it cannot be stopped.

-CR

Cluck Roosterman is a renowned rock critic and best-selling author os Sex, Drugs, & Chicken Feed and Last One is a Rotten Egg: The Merciful Death of Glamrock. His newest book, Dark Meat Only: The Resurgence of Goth Culture will be released in the Spring.

Is Punk Farm the World's Most Dangerous Band?
by Cluck Roosterman



Cluck Roosterman here, reporting from the road with Punk Farm. I'm crammed into the back of the Rock Van, pecking away at my laptop. It's been a long strange trip. We started in Maine, zipped down I-91 to Miami, journeyed west to Texas and then finished the tour in Colorado. It's been a whirlwind to say the least. I don't want to go into detail, so I'll just say one thing about Sheep's driving: I'm glad I brought a large supply of Dramamine.

But I'm not here to tell you about life on the road. That was well chronicled in Punk Farm on Tour. My job as a reporter is to dig deeper and offer the broader cultural analysis that you don't hear at the water cooler or slop trough. So what don't you know about Punk Farm? How about this:

Punk Farm is the most dangerous band in the world.

This is not just overzealous reporter's hyperbole. It is a fact. Punk Farm strikes fear in the hearts of record executives everywhere. If you listen closely, you can hear them shaking in their designer Italian boots. Here's why.

A few months ago, the powerhouse band Radiohead made headlines by releasing their album, In Rainbows directly through their website, effectively cutting out all middle men (and/or middle women). They offered it essentially for free, allowing their fans to decide how much they wanted to pay (if at all). The gamble paid off and the band made a tidy profit off this revolutionary brand of optional capitalism. The press hailed it as a breakthrough in the struggle between artists and the exploitative music industry. The times, they are a'changin'.

However, Radiohead was not the first band to strike a blow against the corporate fat cats. Punk Farm had been releasing their music for free on their website for over a year now. Well before Radiohead shocked the mainstream media, Punk Farm rattled the nerves of record executives across the nation. It was such a shock to the music industry that legendary record mogul David Geffen released a cryptic memo in 2006 which simply read "Punk Farm must be stopped."

Last week I called up my good friend Naomi Klein, author of the anti-corporate No Logo and the anti-evil The Disaster Doctrine. She told me that she considered Punk Farm to be "the first truly anti-corporate band in the world. Most bands claim to be revolutionary, but they are really just amped-up collections of false bravado and simplistically inflammatory lyrics. Every band at heart is slave to their sales numbers. By releasing their music for free, Punk Farm broke free from those shackles and haven't looked back. Without the burden of financial compensation, they are free to create art in its purest form. Because they are not beholden to 'the man' is why they are the only band that can truly 'stick it to the man'. 'The Man' in this case being the corporate music industry... and Farmer Joe."

I was intrigued by this, so on our way from Colorado back to the farm (a trip made in record time... again, a big shout out to the makers of Dramamine), I took a minute to ask the band about their status as the most dangerous band in the world.



CR: Whose idea was it to release your music for free?

SHEEP: It was pretty much a mutual decision. I mean, we didn't really have any contacts at any record labels and we were picking up a decent Wi-Fi signal from one of our neighbors....so we just went with it.

COW: We wanted to get our music out there, you know? What is music worth if it doesn't have ears to listen to it?

CR: Did Radiohead contact you for advice before they released their album? Do you think Radiohead's new strategy has the potential to revolutionize the music industry?

GOAT: Thom Yorke and I are tight. We email. He wrote one day and was all, "Hey Goat, are you cool with us doing this?" And I was all like, "Whatever dude, whatever floats your boat." So Radiohead put their stuff out for free and got massive publicity for it.

CHICKEN: It might revolutionize the industry, but who knows? It sure is a nice thought, though.



CR: Aren't you the least bit tempted to go corporate and cash in on your popularity? Just imagine what you could do with those millions of dollars...

PIG: There are millions of dollars in CD sales? Seriously? Man, maybe we should see about...

SHEEP: Pig, come on man. Don't be so naive. There are millions of dollars to be made, but for the corporate big wigs. Not us little livestock.

CR: Since the animals are the ones that do all the real work, does Farmer Joe share any of his agricultural profits with you?

PIG: No, all we get is some stacks of hay and feed. Not even good feed, how about something with some spice to it? A little kick, a little something!

CR: I hear that you are raffling off original artwork this week. What will the money be used for?

SHEEP: Yes, this is true. We sat for portraits by artist Jarrett Krosoczka. The money raised is going to go to two places. Most of the money will go to this non-profit group called the Central Massachusetts Arts Assembly. This is a group that is important to our man Scott Cambot, and he produced our latest tracks. Another part of the money will go to paying for the costs of recording the music and to the people who make our songs possible. People like Scott, Thom, and Erik who tune our instruments and stuff.

CR: Whose painting do you think will raise the most money? Doesn't this have the potential to create tension between you all? Is there any behind the scenes betting going on between the band to see who can drum up the most interest?




PIG: Mine!












SHEEP: Oh, here we go!











COW: I don't know, I wouldn't underestimate the popularity of Goat.











GOAT: Oh shucks, I'm totally blushing, dude.










CHICKEN: People like chickens, don't they? I hope someone tries to win mine. Oh.....what if they don't? Oh....







PIG: I don't think it will cause any tension between us. Just as long as people understand that I will get the most tickets sold....

COW: Well, I don't plan on advocating, but if people would like to help boost my self-esteem...so be it!

CHICKEN: I'm not going to get any sleep all week....


To buy tickets for a chance to win one of these original band portraits (the ones pictured above), go to the Punk Farm Raffle website. And remember, rock memorabilia is a great investment. Clapton sold one of his guitars for $959,500 and he wasn't half the guitarist that Pig is. With the dollar being as weak as it is, this may be the last worthwhile investment opportunity of the decade.

As for who will raise the most money... based on my time with the band, the safe bet is for Pig to rake in the most cash, but I'm inclined to agree with Cow. My money is on Goat as the silent-but-deadly dark horse candidate.

Okay, that's it for now. If I don't stop typing now, I'm going to get sick all over the backseat of the Rock Van. For the rest of the Punk Farm Interview series, check out the BSB archives. And be sure to check back in on Wednesday for Part 2 in which I explore the social networking phenomenon known as punkfarmspace.

Until then: Rock on, Rock off, I don't care. As long as there is Rock involved.

-CR

Many of you know Max and Pinky from their first book, Best Buds. Well, now they are taking off (literally) in their new roles as Superheroes. And given their new superheroic status, there is only one logical thing for them to do now: apply to the Justice League.

The Justice League is a legendary collection of superheroes whose mission is to serve and protect humanity. The League first formed in 1960 and like any quality organization, is always looking to recruit new talent. However, being the most exclusive collection of superhuman talent in the industry, each applicant must endure a lengthy and arduous interview process. Max and Pinky are the latest in a long line of daring-doers to present their credentials to the prestigious Justice League hiring panel (made up of the founding members of the JL). Below is a transcript of their interview.


Justice League Interview: Max and Pinky
Application Number: 1013b
Date: 23 November 2007
Location: Secret Sanctuary

Superman: First I'd like to thank you both for coming in today. As the leader of the Justice League, I would like to congratulate you. We have had a particularly strong applicant pool this year, so the fact that you've made it this far in the interview process is impressive in and of itself. So let's get started, shall we? First of all, tell us why you're interested in joining the Justice League and what skills you would bring to our organization.



Max: Why don’t I start? I’ll begin by listing our attributes. First of all, I’m a young child and have just used the word attributes.

Pinky: That’s more a creepy anomaly than an actual skill.

Max: Anomaly?

Pinky: Geez! Now I’m doing it!

Max: Anyway, here’s what we’ve got going for ourselves. Sweet capes and masks.

Pinky: Homemade, mind you.

Max: Right. Also, we can fly.

Pinky: With surprising precision.

Max: Pinky, can you think of anything else?

Pinky: Um, that’s about it.

Max: Ok, to recap. Masks, capes, and flying.

Pinky: And a freakish vocabulary for a five year old and an underdeveloped pig.



Batman: As superheroes you have a lot of strengths, but what are your weaknesses? For example, it's widely known that you, Pinky, have a soft spot for marshmallows. What steps, if any, have you taken to safeguard against an evil villian who might use your love of marshmallows against you?





Pinky: Who told you I like marshmallows? Anyway, I’d like to think of my love of marshmallows as a strength rather than a weakness. Maybe even an extension of my superpowers? After all, can anyone else in this room eat a metric ton of marshmallows before breakfast? Just give my dentist a call and I think you’ll find I’ve never had so much as a sore tooth.

Max: He’s right. It’s pretty ridiculous really.

Pinky: Of course, Max does have one major weakness.

Max: Yeah, it’s my sensitivity to overhead sunlight. Let’s just say there isn’t a lot between my scalp and the direct rays of the sun. But a liberal application of sunscreen usually does the trick.



Wonderwoman: Do you work well in groups or do you prefer working individually? I ask because we had this problem early on with Batman. His vigilante nature did not translate well to team work at all. Getting him to restock the copy machine was such an ordeal.





Batman: Hey, I didn't get a Master's in Criminal Psychology to be your freakin' copy boy!

Superman: Please Bruce, this is not the time. Max, Pinky, please answer Wonderman's question.

Max: I’m not going to beat around the bush. We’ve had our problems in the past. One incident was fairly well documented in a stunning piece of reportage called The Adventures of Max and Pinky: Superheroes. I don’t want to spoil the ending, but we’ve since worked through our differences and have struck a compromise of sorts.

Pinky: I thought we agreed not bring that up.

Max: We’ll talk about this later, Pinky.



Flash: Hollywood is currently on a tear making superhero movies. After the Ben Affleck/Daredevil debacle, I have assumed responsibility for all negotiations with Hollywood. So, if we were to work out a movie deal, who would you choose to play the roles of Max and Pinky? And who would be your first choice for director?



Pinky: I’ll take this, Max. Actually, I’ve given this quite a bit of thought. The choices are simple. I’ve already discussed it with his agent over lunch and we’ve arranged for the role of Pinky to be played by Daniel Day Lewis. It’s an obvious physical match, and as far as acting goes it will really take a thespian of his skill and experience to capture the depth and subtlety of my character.

Flash: And who would play Max?

Pinky: I was thinking Ben Kingsley for obvious—

Max: Hold on! I think we’re still discussing this. So let’s not lock ourselves in, ok? But as far as directors go, Pinky and I were thinking of co-directing and producing.

Flash: Producing?

Max: Let’s just say things on the farm have been going fairly well and we’ve got the necessary resources to put this project into motion.

Pinky: We got in on marshmallows when they were a nickel a ton.




Aquaman: What are your long term goals? Where do you see yourselves 5, 10 years from now? And also, do you have any interest in joining the company waterpolo team? We've got a big game against the Xmen next week and we could really use some fresh blood.




Max: In ten years, I suspect I’ll be trying to explain to my teenaged friends why I’m having a conversation with a sarcastic talking horse named Chuck. And the waterpolo team sounds great, but don’t bother ordering me a swim cap.

Pinky: Are inflatable swimmies allowed? I’m not a strong swimmer.




Martian Manhunter: I don't have any questions. I can read minds, so I already know all I need to know about the two of you. Wait, actually, I do have one question: Can I have one of those marshmallows you have hidden in the folds of your cape?




Pinky: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Superman: Well, those are all the questions we have for now. Are there any questions you would like to ask us?

Max: Just one. Did we get the job?

Superman: We have your information, so we’ll be in touch. Thank you for coming in.

Pinky: We didn’t get it, did we.

Batman: The man said we'd be in touch. This interview is over. Our secretary will show you out. Robin! Show these two to the door... and get me some more coffee while you're at it!



Note: The Justice League is an equal opportunity employer and will consider all applicants regardless of race, gender, or planet of origin. All are encouraged to apply... as long as you have superhuman powers, that is. Please direct any questions regarding our hiring policies to the Justice League's Diversity Coordinators: Green Lantern ([email protected]) and Hawkgirl ([email protected]).


For more information on the applicants, check out the Max and Pinky website or read Maxwell Eaton III's interview with Bottom Shelf Books. And if you want to send them a good luck message while they await the results of their interview, you can send them (or anyone else) a personalized Max and Pinky eCard.

Also, check out Eaton's sketch-a-day blog where you can find pictures like this:



Man, that's awesome. I don't think I'll ever get tired of that. In fact, if I ever got a tattoo, this would be it.

Today, we are pleased to welcome Kyra Hicks, the distinguished author and quilter extraordinaire to the Bottom Shelf. I could try to list all of the Ms. Hicks' accomplishments and distinctions, but that might leave me with carpal tunnel syndrome. Seriously, the woman has done a lot! So here is the link to her impressive bio.

She joins us today to discuss her book, Martha Ann's Quilt For Queen Victoria, which is based on the true story about a former slave who moves to Liberia with her family, and whose determination leads her to a personal meeting with the Queen of England (back when being the Queen of England actually meant more than just wearing funny hats).

But enough from me, let's get down to business. Without further ado, here are Five Picture Book Related Questions For Kyra Hicks.

BSB: What inspired you to turn Martha Ann's story into a children’s book?

Kyra: I’ve spent more than five years researching Martha Ann Ricks’ life and wanted to share her inspiration with a younger generation. I was inspired by many elements that are not traditionally written in picture books such as the African American experience in Liberia or about Black folks meeting British Royalty or about a Black father purchasing his family out of slavery.

BSB: Is there a strong connection between quilting and storytelling?

Kyra: I believe there is a strong connection between quilting and storytelling on two levels. The first is the creation of story quilts where the quilt is the canvas for the story itself. The story is sewn onto the quilt. Many kids and librarians will recognize Faith Ringgold’s famous Tar Beach story quilt as an example of this kind of connection.

The second connection is in the transmitting of the story behind a quilt. An example is when a family member shares insights about who made a family quilt, points out familiar pieces of cloth within the quilt or share the reasons why the quilt was created in the first place. The Patchwork Quilt by Valerie Flournoy is an example of the oral quilt tradition.

BSB: Was quilting introduced to Liberia by the African Americans who came through the American Colonization Society? Is quilting part of the culture in Liberia today?

Kyra: There were dozens of indigenous tribes in Liberia before the first American settlers arrived in the 1820s. I haven’t researched the textile traditions of the various tribes to know if they included quilting techniques. I do know, though, that many black folks who emigrated to Liberia in the nineteenth century quilted. In fact, there were monetary prizes given for quilts at the first National Fair in Liberia in 1857. Yes, quilting remains apart of Liberian textile arts today.

BSB: What lessons do you hope children will take away from your book?

Kyra: The primary lessons I hope kids learn from Martha Ann’s Quilt for Queen Victoria are that dreaming huge is permissible and that achieving one’s dreams takes work. Martha Ricks spent 50 years, or if you’d rather five decades or 18,250 days, pursuing her dream in the face of ridicule and a low bank balance. Yet, she achieved what few in the world did. She had an audience with Queen Victoria.

I’ve been to a few school visits and continue to be amazed by what the boys and girls pull out of the book. I tried to capture many of their questions and comments in a free discussion guide.

BSB: Do you have any plans for more picture books? Are there other famous quilters that you think would make for good characters?

Kyra: Yes, I do plan to continue to write picture books, with an emphasis on historical characters. I am researching my next picture book now. As for other famous quilters, I’d love to see a picture book about the nineteenth century quilter Harriet Powers, creator of the Bible Quilt, which is part of the Smithsonian National Museum of American History collection. I’d also love to read a picture book about the nineteenth century African American Siamese twins Millie-Christine.

And now, a few non-picture book related questions:

BSB: If you were making a quilt to send a message to the next president of the United States, what would you put on it?

Kyra: HOPE!

BSB: If you were forced to be on one reality television show, what would it be and why?

Kyra: I can’t sew clothes worth a darn, but I’d LOVE to be on Project Runway for its creative energy and inspiring assignments. And, what quilter wouldn’t LOVE to be given x dollars and let loose in a fabric store?



So there you have it. Thank you Kyra! To read more about Ms. Hicks, check out BlackThreads.com and her blog about kid's lit. Also, look for more of her work in your local bookstore... and tune into Bravo and see if you can find Kyra matching wits with the devastating (in oh so many ways) Heidi Klum on Season 3 of Project Runway. Watch what happens.

Here's a link to an interview I did with Jules and Eisha, the dynamic duo over at Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast.

(Warning: The interview has been rated PG-13 due to strong language and brief nudity.)

by Cluck Roosterman

On Monday I sat down with Punk Farm as a group to ask them about their newfound fame. Today, I had the opportunity to take each member aside to get a little more personal... and to address some of the rumors that have been making their way through the internet and into the gossip magazines. Does Punk Farm care about these rumors? No, because they are punk. Do we care about these rumors? YES, because we are fans. It is our job to care. And so, I give you Part 2 of my interview: Punk Farm 1-on-1.


This question is for Goat: Who are your most prominent musical influences?

"There are so many. Jimmy Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Douglas Colvin, AKA Dee Dee Ramone…"

And what do you say to critics who say that punk rock began and ended with The Ramones?

"On one hand, that argument gives The Ramones the credit they deserve. On the other hand, it discredits too many good bands. I really don’t concern myself with such thoughts."


This question is for Pig: An anonymous source in Hollywood told BSB that you were originally chosen to play the lead in School of Rock (a role that eventually went to Jack Black), but that you turned down the part at the last minute. Is this true? And if so, do you regret that decision?


"You know, Hollywood is a rumor-mill. You can’t believe everything you hear. I took a few phone calls and that’s it. Good for Jack Black. I think he’s a brilliant actor and an even more brilliant musician. If I had landed the part, I wouldn’t be in this great band with my best friends, so no regrets."





For Chicken: Due to your subversive keyboard style, you are being hailed in the mainstream media as the Anti-John Tesh. Are you comfortable with that title?


"I’d rather be the Anti-John Tesh than the next John Tesh. If my keyboarding can cancel out the John Tesh-ness in the world to create a John-Tesh-neutral environment, I can die a happy hen."







For Cow: The drums are often considered to be the instrument that takes "the most guts" to play. Do you think the fact that you have 4 stomachs is a key to your success as a drummer? Or is it purely coincidental?


"Hmmm, I’ve never thought of it that way before. I would say that was coincidental, because I never think about any of my stomachs when I’m playing. There’s something primal about the beats, the bangs, the clashes… I’m able to release all of my pent up aggression."





For Sheep: Is there any truth to the rumor that Julian Casablancas (the lead singer of The Strokes) stole his look from you? If it is true, do you have any words for Julian?


"Julian. Hmph. I love Julian, I really do. I don’t know where he got his look. There are the rumors he stole his look from me, but I don’t concern myself with these things. I like to rock, Julian likes to rock. We met once and it was brief. Being the lead singer in a band can be stressful and I wish him the best."







This concludes the interview. I'd like to give one final shout out to Punk Farm's publicist, Jarrett Krosoczka for giving us time with the band... and for creating a diversion to distract Farmer Joe during the interview. As for me, Cluck Roosterman (for my bio, see Monday's post), I will be taking a brief sabbatical to work on my next book, Dark Meat Only: The Resurgence of Goth Culture. After that, the band and I hope to meet up again for another interview when they are on tour in the fall. Until then, Rock On.

by Cluck Roosterman

In April, Bottom Shelf Books wrote a review of Punk Farm... a review that was admittedly based mostly on rumors, hearsay, and conjecture. In an attempt to get to the truth, they sent their most awesome rock critic (me) out to track down the elusive Punk Farm and get the band's side of the story. I found them at their barn in Wisconsin prepping for their upcoming tour. Here is a partial transcript from the upcoming article, Barn Burning: A Conversation with Punk Farm.



(Cluck Roosterman is a renowned rock critic and best-selling author of Sex, Drugs, & Chicken Feed and Last One is a Rotten Egg: The Merciful Death of Glamrock. This is his first time interviewing Punk Farm.)



CR: Does the band's newfound fame leave you any time to do the normal everyday things that an animal does? Do you ever miss the simplicity of your pre-fame days?

SHEEP: Do I miss coming out of the barn at midnight without all of the flashing lights – yeah, sometimes. But do I want to put down my microphone? No way!
GOAT: You know what is an animal supposed to do anyhow? It’s all just society’s way of trying to hold us back.
COW: I want to make art, not just give milk. Fame is the trade off. It’s the sacrifice we make as artists.
CHICKEN: Look, if I wanted to live my life laying eggs, I wouldn’t be in this band.

CR: A recent article in SPIN Magazine said that your most recent concert "blew the roof off the barn." Was that just a figure of speech or did the roof actually get blown off? If it was, who is going to pay for the damages?

PIG: Oh man! That was a crazy show! Just outside of Wheatland…
SHEEP: It was Kenosha.
PIG: Right, Kenosha. Anyways, yeah it was nuts!
COW: There was so much rock, just so much ROCK, the pressure sent the roof flying!
[At this point, a horse in a suit enters the room and whispers in Sheep’s ear.]
SHEEP: Actually, our lawyer has advised us not to discuss details of this event. Next question, please.


Left: The Infamous Kenosha Concert. Police have yet to locate the roof of the barn. Eyewitnesses last claim to have seen it somewhere over Des Moines.




CR: How has Farmer Joe reacted to your success? Do you see him as a threat to your career, or does he merely provide fuel for the fire that rages within Punk Farm?

SHEEP: Whoa, whoa whoa, WHOA! Keep it down! Farmer Joe doesn’t know a thing and that’s how we intend to keep it.
GOAT: Yeah man, don’t blow up our spot!
SHEEP: Farmer Joe has been very good to us. He feeds us, he provides a place for us to play…he shovels our poop…
PIG: Yeah, but Farmer Joe also expects us to work. He has very high expectations of us and sometimes I feel like we’re never good enough for him. I mean how can we work when we rock all night long? I think the guy needs to chill.
CHICKEN: If Farmer Joe ever found out we were even giving this interview, he’d be so mad. And he’s a pretty even guy, but I don’t want to send him over the edge, ya know?
COW: It would be like his whole world would just come crashing down around him. We’re all he’s got.
SHEEP: So I guess it’s a catch 22. In many ways, yeah he is a bit of a threat to our career. He would shut down this Punk Farm party so quickly.

CR: As Punk Farm prepares to go on tour, is there any worry that leaving the farm will be detrimental to the band's creative flow?

SHEEP: Sure, there will always be that fear. We need to continue to write, but we also need to get out there and play for our fans. This is going to be an important tour for us. It’s our first.
PIG: I can’t wait to get out there and meet some of the fans in person!
GOAT: I’m pretty psyched to see the country. I’ve never been outside of Wisconsin before.
CHICKEN: There’s so much at stake. What if no one likes our new music? What if I mess up when I’m playing the keyboards?! This whole tour thing stresses me out!

CR: What do you see in Punk Farm's future?

COW: Rock, rock, and then more rock.

CR: Do you think it is possible to have mainstream success and maintain true to your punk roots?

[Everyone looks to Sheep]

SHEEP: I’ll take this one. Yes. We decided early on that if success came before the rock, then that was it. Punk Farm would cease to exist. So Punk Farm will always exist as an entity that will remain true to its punk roots. If we had a million dollars in the bank and we didn’t need to live on this farm, if farm animals were allowed to open up bank accounts in the first place, we would still maintain the attitude of - we love to rock, we’re here to rock, now get out of the way so we can rock. Sure, there will be haters. There will always be haters.
PIG: Let them hate, let us rock.
SHEEP: Exactly.
PIG: You go whine in the corner, I’m plugging in my amp.
SHEEP: Yup.
PIG: It’s like, go crying all you want, hate, hate, hate, I’ll be playing my guitar so hard, I won’t even care.
SHEEP: OK, I think they get it.


"...Punk Farm will always exist as an entity that will remain true to its punk roots... we love to rock, we’re here to rock, now get out of the way so we can rock."




TO BE CONTINUED: Check back on Wednesday, when we get up close and personal with your favorite banyard rebels with some one-on-one questions.


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A big thanks to Punk Farm and their publicist, Jarrett Krosoczka (left) for letting us backstage for this interview. Be on the lookout for Punk Farm On Tour, which comes out in October and the Punk Farm rockumentary that is being produced by Dreamworks. Critics are already raving, saying that "What Ratatouille did for food, Punk Farm will do for music. Prepare to be blown away."


You can read more about Punk Farm and download their music at their website, or you can visit them at work in Studio JJK.