SCENES FROM LIFE: A short playette
THE COFFEE DILEMMA
SCENE: A WELL-KNOWN FAST-FOOD OUTLET BEGINNING WITH LETTERS “Mc”. A MAN AND WOMAN STAND IN LINE, WAITING TO PLACE THEIR ORDER WITH COUNTER PERSON
HE
Whad’ya taking? The usual?
SHE
(examining menu choices)
Not sure...
HE
You always end up taking number five
SHE
Well...I just might be daring and opt for something different for a change
HE
I’ll stick to the usual. The Big M. So?
SHE
What’s the rush? I haven’t decided yet...
HE
It’s our turn (to COUNTER PERSON) ‘Number 8’
COUNTER PERSON
The full meal?
HE
Yup.
COUNTER PERSON
(keying in order)
Soft drink with that?
HE
Right. So? (to SHE) What’s it gonna be?
SHE
O-kay...I’ll take...
HE
...let me guess. Number 5
SHE
So what? At least chicken breast is a healthier choice. Too much beef is bad for your heart
HE
Is that a fact? Then I guess you won’t be taking the full meal ‘cause it has fries. Right?
SHE
A few fries now and then don’t hurt.
HE
Okay. She’ll have the full meal, fries included...
SHE
...and a coffee
SERVER
(stunned look on her face)
So you want a soft drink AND coffee?
SHE
No. Just a coffee please
SERVER
That won’t work.
SHE
Why not?
SERVER
The full meal comes with a soft drink.
HE
Can’t you replace the soft drink with a coffee?
SERVER
Uh-uh. If you want a coffee, then you can’t have the full meal. That’s the way it works
SHE
What? Never heard of that!
SERVER
I’ll have to order each item, separately
HE
That makes no sense, whatsoever, not to mention cost more
SHE
I mean, we could keep it between the two of us. We wouldn’t have to tell the computer. Really – it will never know
SERVER
You can order a full meal WITH a medium soft drink AND a coffee. That’s okay
SHE
What? But...I can’t drink all that liquid! I’ll float
HE
Just say yes and we’ll throw away the soft drink.
SHE
No – this is like...soooo stupid. All I want – all I need – is a coffee. Periiod
SERVER
But you can have a small coffee AND a soft drink
SHE
What type of crappy rule is that? Just like your dumb no refills on tea rule.
(manager is watching the server and listening to conversation)
HE
Our food is getting cold. Please make the necessary adjustment
SERVER
(very unnerved)
I’ve...never had this happen...before. I’m going to have...to...speak with someone. If you take a meal...you have to have a soft drink...
(she starts to turn around and is confronted with manager. They have an animated conversation)
Um...my manager says you can have coffee instead of a soft drink.
SHE
Oh goodie!
(COUNTER PERSON computes total. HE checks bill)
HE
You’ve over-charged us by a dollar
COUNTER PERSON
Really? Let me see the bill... You’re right. Now I’m going to have to place the order all over again. So that would be a full meal Big M...a full meal chicken breast...two soft drinks...
SHE
Coffee...
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Blog: NOTE TO MYSELF (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: food, diet, kosher, soft drink, Christmas Pack, latke sodas, miscellaneos, Hannukah Pac, ham soda, Apple sauce, Hannukah, Jones Soda Co., Add a tag
NOTE TO SELF: Is this story kosher?
Perhaps it's just the cynic in me but I find this a little hard to swallow.
Jones Soda Co., a Seattle-based purveyor of offbeat fizzy water, is selling holiday-themed limited-edition packs of flavored sodas. What makes this story intriguing is that they are proposing a ham-and-latke-flavored soda.
Talk about trying to be everything to everyone!
Jones Sodas Christmas Pack flavors include Sugar Plum, Egg Nog, Christmas Tree and Christmas Ham. They are also claiming that their newest product will be kosher - including the ham!
Actually, the packages are divided up according to the holiday with the Christmas pack featuring such flavors as Sugar Plum, Christmas Tree, Egg Nog and Christmas Ham. The Hanukkah pack will have Jelly Doughnut, Apple Sauce, Chocolate Coins and Latke sodas.
"As always, both packs are kosher and contain zero caffeine," Jones said in a statement.
The packs will go on sale Sunday, with a portion of the proceeds to be given to charity, the company said.
Jones' products feature original label art and frequently odd flavors. Last year's seasonal pack was Thanksgiving-themed, with Green Pea, Sweet Potato, Dinner Roll, Turkey and Gravy, and Antacid sodas.
For its contract to supply soda to Qwest Field, home of the Seattle Seahawks, Jones came up with Perspiration, Dirt, Sports Cream and Natural Field Turf. The company -- fortunately or unfortunately -- prides itself on the accuracy of the taste.
Excuse me while I gag...
Jones also makes more traditional flavors, including root beer, cherry and strawberry. I dunno - call me silly but I'll pass on the ham soda.
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By: Lizzy Burns,
on 4/12/2007
Blog: A Chair, A Fireplace and A Tea Cozy (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: YA, ya author's cafe, sex, Add a tag
Speak now or forever hold your peace. (OK, not forever...) But right now there is a pretty cool convo going on at the YA Author's Cafe about Sex in YA books: YA Authors Cafe: Open Discussion: Let's Talk About Sex
To recap my own comments to that post:
-- we need a wide array of books about sex, including books without sex. I want books that support teen choices; and take those choices seriously. I want a wide range so when a kid asks, I have a number of books to offer, whatever it is they are asking for. And it's not my job to challenge their choice. It's my job to match the reader to the book.
-- while the YA Cafe is talking about what the reader is asking for, there are readers who read not to duplicate experience but just out of curiosity. There is nothing wrong with a teen who wants to read (or is not bothered by) sexual content; and there is nothing wrong with a teen who doesn't want that. Both should be respected.
-- in terms of Reader's Advisory, I 'd love more non-Christian publisher books that have the viewpoint of wait till marriage for sex.
-- in terms of Reader's Advisory, what I want to know is which of these is OK or not OK in terms of sexual content:
---- John and Mary hold hands. It's clear and explicit that there is no sex.
---- John and Mary disappear for a few hours. It's never said that they do have sex; it's never said that they don't. It's up to the reader to decide.
---- John and Mary have sex. And that's the entire description. So it happens; but it's not explicit.
---- John and Mary....page after page after page. Explicit.
So which of these is OK or not OK for the reader? Is it only the first two? Or is the third one OK? Is the last one OK if the two are married? These are the things I'd want to know in matching a reader to a book (and then I dream of a catalog that helps me match the reader and book.)
Sex and teens are inseperable. When I turned 13 in 1970 (gasp!)I perused the adult section of my library looking for romance books that contained "adult content"--there was no such thing as YA books.
I believe we must offer teens good books to read. And give them the credit they deserve--most are intelligent with the ability to differentiate between reality and fantasy and right and wrong, depending on there own moral upbringing. Only parents can say no and choose to censor their reading material, no one else--not librarians, authors, bookstores, etc..
As the parent of three teen sons, I have never censored their reading material, only made myself avaible to openly discuss what they've read.
"...in terms of Reader's Advisory, what I want to know is which of these is OK or not OK in terms of sexual content:
---- John and Mary hold hands. It's clear and explicit that there is no sex.
---- John and Mary disappear for a few hours. It's never said that they do have sex; it's never said that they don't. It's up to the reader to decide.
---- John and Mary have sex. And that's the entire description. So it happens; but it's not explicit.
---- John and Mary....page after page after page. Explicit."
I believe all four options are OK, it all depends on the content of the book and the reader.
As long as most of those Reader's Advisories don'tget turned into those stickers on the spines of books, to, erm, advise the reader :).
I suppose you could have stick figures of John & Mary (or I guess John & Gary), and in the first instance, they're holding hands, standing up. In the second, they're horizontal. In the third, they're upside down. Sort of the way the hands of a clock go 'round.
Heavens, I must still be OD'ing on the Easter chocolate...