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NOTE TO SELF: Is this story kosher?


Perhaps it's just the cynic in me but I find this a little hard to swallow.

Jones Soda Co., a Seattle-based purveyor of offbeat fizzy water, is selling holiday-themed limited-edition packs of flavored sodas. What makes this story intriguing is that they are proposing a ham-and-latke-flavored soda.

Talk about trying to be everything to everyone!

Jones Sodas Christmas Pack flavors include Sugar Plum, Egg Nog, Christmas Tree and Christmas Ham. They are also claiming that their newest product will be kosher - including the ham!

Actually, the packages are divided up according to the holiday with the Christmas pack featuring such flavors as Sugar Plum, Christmas Tree, Egg Nog and Christmas Ham. The Hanukkah pack will have Jelly Doughnut, Apple Sauce, Chocolate Coins and Latke sodas.

"As always, both packs are kosher and contain zero caffeine," Jones said in a statement.

The packs will go on sale Sunday, with a portion of the proceeds to be given to charity, the company said.

Jones' products feature original label art and frequently odd flavors. Last year's seasonal pack was Thanksgiving-themed, with Green Pea, Sweet Potato, Dinner Roll, Turkey and Gravy, and Antacid sodas.

For its contract to supply soda to Qwest Field, home of the Seattle Seahawks, Jones came up with Perspiration, Dirt, Sports Cream and Natural Field Turf. The company -- fortunately or unfortunately -- prides itself on the accuracy of the taste.

Excuse me while I gag...

Jones also makes more traditional flavors, including root beer, cherry and strawberry. I dunno - call me silly but I'll pass on the ham soda.

Does anyone have a leper bell I could borrow for a week or two?

I broke down and went to the doctor this afternoon. We're all sick, but I have the added bonus of having some weird giant sore on my nose. I had one just like it about six weeks ago.

Because my day job is in health care and I can correctly use words like "febrile" I think I can diagnose myself. Kids, don't try this at home.

Six weeks ago, I decided I had a cold sore on the edge of my nose. Since Thanksgiving, I have been under stress like you wouldn't believe. I treated it with Abreva, lysine, and Acyclovir. Eventually, very slowly, it went away.

Then we went to Europe. My daughter got sick in Paris, something I figured out only after I had finished off her baguette. I got sort of sick in London, and have been feeling kind of grotty since Saturday. We got back to the States Monday.

And yesterday the thing on my nose came back. And I decided it was impetigo.

Guess what? The doctor says it was worse than that. It's cellulitis. As in, take these horse pill antibiotics and use this topical cream antibiotic for the next 10 days. Or else.

The "or else" part looks like it could be bad. Like meningitis. When I was in college, my roommate's dad had had meningitis and his left leg dragged. Or cavernous sinus thrombosis, which causes "bulging eyes, severe headache, drowsiness or coma, seizures, a high fever, and abnormal sensations or muscle weakness in certain areas."

All I know is I feel crappy. So crappy that when the pharmacist told me I couldn't eat for two hours before or two hours after taking a pill, it seemed pretty clear to me that I was not going to be eating for the next 10 days.





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