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by Sally Matheny
 |
| When Life Isn't Going the Way You Expected |
Are you discouraged because you thought things would be different by now? While many people reflect on their accomplishments of the past year, we also may focus on our unmet goals. How do we avoid disheartenment when life events didn’t go the way we expected?
Perhaps we thought we’d be farther along in our work. Or we wonder why we can’t go back to the way things used to be. We expected barriers in relationships lowered, and our incomes increased. Our physical health, emotional condition, or social status are not anywhere near the levels of what we had hoped. Like the 1970’s singers in the cornfield on The Hee Haw Show we sing, “Gloom, despair, and agony on me…oh!”
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I am not a New Year's Resolution type of person. I'm not much of a goal setter, either. Everyone says to make your goals precise and reachable, but when I've done this, I inevitably fail, and then feel like a failure. I don't think that's the point of setting goals, or making resolutions, so I gave up on that. Besides, I'm not a super organized person, so making a resolution in my mind often means I can't even remember it next month, Even if I write it down, I find that I easily forget it. And if I do manage to remember it, by the time I do, the goal has often been revised or circumstances have changed in such a way that the goal no longer even applies.
Here's an analogy from yoga class. Often, the yoga teacher will have each person silently set an intention for the class session that day as we let go of the rest of the world to focus on yoga for this one hour. Usually my intention is something along the lines of "I just want to make it through the class." While I love yoga, it does push my physical limits sometimes, especially when balance or strength are elements of the pose, so sometimes getting through it is all I can hope for.
I feel the same way about life sometimes. Just getting through the day ahead--or the week, month, etc.--is my best goal.
So, I don't do resolutions.
However, my friend and fellow writer, Joanna Marple, wrote this blog post the other day, and it really spoke to me. Instead of resolutions, she suggests we choose a word that we wish to be the focus and intention for the coming year. Hers is serendipity.
I can get behind this kind of thinking. I chose the word EXPAND. In all areas of my life--work, friends, writing, music, travel, cooking, all of it--I can focus on expanding my horizons, increasing the number of new experiences, looking at things in new ways. It makes me think of expanding my mind by reading, listening, and learning. Expanding my circle of people, especially writing people.
This isn't a goal or resolution I can fail at. I can expand my life in so many ways that every day provides opportunities. Maybe it's just a mindset or a mind game, but this feels so much more useful than resolution making. So I'm on it.
If you'd like to join in, feel free to comment with your word and what it means to you. Otherwise, just keep on writing, which is what I'm going to do.
It's not exactly original, but WordGirl's Word of the Month for January is certainly fitting. RESOLUTION: A promise we make with ourselves.
I'm not all that big on resolutions, per se. But I have set three goals for myself (and my daughter) for this year:
- Sleep more/better
- Read more
- Exercise more
I'm actually finding this helpful. When I have a choice in my activities (when the things that I HAVE to do are under control), I just think: "what will help me with my three goals?". And then I choose accordingly. Resolutions can help people to prioritize.
What are your resolutions, reading or otherwise?
© 2014 by Jennifer Robinson of Jen Robinson's Book Page. All rights reserved. You can also follow me @JensBookPage or at my Growing Bookworms page on Facebook.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, while packing, moving, and unpacking, I've unearthed some forgotten things. Another thing I found was my cover letter when I applied for the editorial assistant position at Little, Brown, and also the thank you letter I sent after my interview. Here's a draft of my thank-you letter:
As the
CBC Diversity Committee has been such a significant part of my life the past few years, I especially appreciated my comment about Megan's commitment to publishing diverse books. That still holds true. By the way, the two spaces between sentences drives me crazy now.
Also, note the "Time Warner Trade Publishing"--back then, Little, Brown was part of Time Warner, and the children's division was still based in Boston. Soon thereafter, it became part of "AOL Time Warner"--I also found this:
Now, of course, we are Hachette Book Group, and the children's division is based in New York. The company has been through at least four name changes in the 14+ years I've been here.
And finally, I found this fun note. Grace (Pacy) Lin and I were roommates back then, and she left me this fun little note before leaving for vacation:
Ah, memories.
***
I did a quick
wrap-up of my vacation on my personal blog. I'm really looking forward to putting 2013 behind me, and am looking forward to and hoping for a better, less tumultuous 2014.
As always, I love making new year's resolutions. Here are a few of mine for 2014:
- No internet shopping unless it's a gift, a necessity, or for work. (I successfully kept this resolution from last year, and will try to keep it for at least one more year)
-write in my journal and/or blog at least twice a month
-go on a vacation to Europe with Greg
-achieve a maximum of work inbox 100 at the end of each week
Happy 2014, all!
Running the Rocky Steps in Philly
Even more than January 1st, I look upon the day after Labor Day as the first day of my “new year.” Children are gathering new school supplies, leaving them with that wonderful feeling of a fresh start. Along with them, I feel like starting over too. But it’s not always easy to get motivated. I am disciplined with my healthy diet and workouts, but there are other areas of my life that need some motivation. For that I’m going to take what I’ve learned from what I’ve accomplished and apply it to these new uncharted territories.
- Make a list of reasonable goals, but not too many.
- Research meeting those goals. (For example: You want to lose weight. First check the BMI Index to see what a healthy weight for you would be.)
- Write down the final goal, but also break it into steps. (For example: Lose 30 pounds by Christmas. Lose 8 lbs per month, 2 lbs per week.)
- Research and write down your plan to achieve your goal. (For example: Do 5 45-minute aerobic workouts per week. Introduce more fruits and veggies to diet. Omit fried foods, cut way back on sweets. Drink more water. Stick to 1500 calories per day)
- Share your goals with a friend or family member and ask them to be a stickler about checking up on you. Sign a document stating what you plan to do to reach your goals by a certain date so your partner can hold you to it.
- Surround yourself with the tools you need to get the job done and get rid of the things that might prevent you from reaching those goals. (For example: You want to lose weight so you stock your fridge and pantry with fresh, whole foods and lots of fruits and veggies. You get rid of the junk food and sweets. You make a small investment in workout videos or join a class.)
- Find what motivates you best – either positive or negative. (For example: I run the steps 5 times per week, 1 million steps per year. Every day I wake up and feel like staying in bed. I motivate myself to get up and do it by thinking of my parents, who both passed away prematurely from bad health issues. That motivates me to fight my bad genetics and get moving and stay healthy.)
- Track your progress and celebrate your accomplishments, both big and small. (For example: There are days when I get to the courthouse steps and just feel lethargic or have an injury and struggle through the workout. I may do less repetitions, but I still go out there and do it. Then I celebrate that despite my lethargy, I did it anyway.)
- Concentrate on the benefits. (For example: I am 52 years old and weigh the same as I did in my 20s. I am right on target with my weight on the BMI Index. I can wear skinny jeans. I have a lot of muscle and a ton of energy. I look younger than most people my age.)
- Remind Yourself of the Consequences of quitting. (For example: If I quit this new habit of running steps, I will turn to mush and gain weight and have health problems. I will look back and remember how fit I used to be and will be so angry at myself that I didn’t keep it up.
Like everything else positive you set out to accomplish in your life, you’ve got to have a plan and find out what motivates you to get it done. If you fall off track, it’s not the end. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and remind yourself of the incredible benefits you will have when you reach and maintain your goals.
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By:
Nicola Morgan,
on 3/21/2013
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Note 1: No shed necessary. That's a promise!
Note 2: Those who came to the SAS Conference in Peterborough this year know all about this and know that it's called Stimulus Generalisation
Working well shouldn’t be difficult. Make a list of things to do; tell yourself that you will do a, b and c before lunch; apply posterior to chair; do a, b and c. But most of us know what actually happens: in the absence of a boss to enforce when and where we produce a piece of work, bad habits come into play and we (I) play Spider Solitaire, go on Twitter, answer social emails, pay bills, make more coffee, dust behind the fridge…
That was me, until May 2011. Years of self-employment and working from home had created appallingly chaotic working habits. I got the work done – never missed a deadline yet – but it felt unhappily ill-disciplined, ineffective, pathetic. Social, domestic and work tasks were mixed up; the hours spent at my desk were too long and ineffective; real writing seemed to come last, if at all. Work-life not so much balance as collapsed in a heap of tangled intentions.
In May that changed. Now, if I say “shed”, you’ll roll your eyes and want to switch off, but I promise this is not about getting a writing shed. It’s about stimulus generalisation, as I now realise, thanks to my clinical psychologist friend who nodded wisely when I told her how my working habits changed instantly, the day I got a shed. Stimulus generalisation is something psychologists harness when dealing with addictions and negative habits, she said. Hmmm, sounds like me. Does it sound like you?
I’ll briefly explain the relevant aspects of stimulus generalisation but then, more importantly, unpick the elements of what I accidentally did, in order to make suggestions that anyone can use to alter poor working habits, including internet addiction. (Disclosure: I’m not a trained psychologist, though some of my work involves a degree of understanding of how our brains work; I’m just making sense of what happened to me and what might help others.)
Stimulus generalisation is akin to a Pavlovian response, although reflexes are not necessarily involved. Behaviour (leading to habits) is conditioned subconsciously by stimuli around us. So, if you tend to have a glass of wine while cooking the evening meal, cooking the evening meal becomes part of the set of triggers to have a glass of wine. Aspects of cooking the evening meal are the general stimuli around you: the clock saying 7pm, the light falling, the sound of a partner coming home, your own body clock, the smells in the kitchen, all the cues to anticipation of a relaxing evening. Together, these stimuli subconsciously reinforce a habit; and breaking the habit will be very hard if you don’t break the stimuli. In theory, you could just say, “I won’t have a glass of wine,” but the stimuli play heavily on your desires and behaviours and you are pretty likely to have that glass of wine. Thus speaks the voice of experience.
So, let’s unpick what happened with my shed. Effectively, I had suddenly changed almost all the stimuli around me, in one go. This made my existing desire to change working habits much easier; it enabled an immediate fresh slate, allowing new stimuli to create new habits. In the same way, an addict is encouraged, as part of therapy, to remove all physical aspects of the situations in which previously he took the addictive substance. Move house; throw away posters, furniture, possessions; avoid the friends who accompanied the addictive behaviour; take up new activities; change as much about your life and environs as possible. Every repeated stimulus has a hold on the person, each one like a strand within a rope.
Let’s move away from the specific shed example and generalise the conditions which may make new behaviours possible, conditions which any of us could replicate if we wanted to break undesired working habits.
1. Desire to change. We need to know what we want to change, and to want it strongly enough that we will make effort and think positively about the outcome. Part of this may involve feeling sufficiently negative about the current situation.
2. Planning ahead. Making detailed advance decisions about the changes, and setting a date on which the changes will start, help prime the mind to activate those changes.
3. Investment. It makes sense that if we have invested time, money and/or effort in the changes, this will help motivation.
4. Rising anticipation. If we have to wait eagerly for the start date, this is likely to help.
5. Support from others. Support from partner, family or friends, and their own investment in your success, are likely to have a positive effect.
6. Out with the old and in with the new. The tendency of the brain towards stimulus generalisation means that the more physical surroundings you can change, the better. You may not be able to afford a whole new room, or to replace all the furniture in it, but the more you can alter the physical surroundings, the better.
7. The use of all the senses. Our brains learn best when several senses are used.
8. Blitzing it. I suspect that doing it all at once makes a greater impact.
Based on those principles, there follow some specific suggestions to help change working habits. Some are small and may seem trivial but your brain will notice more than you think. Some of the larger things won’t be practical for everyone and I’m not suggesting anyone does them all: pick a few that suit your situation; plan when to instigate the new regime; then do them all at once. Remember: once you have selected your new stimuli, make sure you apply them to your working hours, not your social or domestic hours. The point is to use a specific setting to teach your brain that it is supposed to be working, not doing social or domestic tasks. Or playing Spider Solitaire… The new environment will perform the role of a boss.
Suggestions:
o Move your work-space to a different room.
o Rearrange the furniture in your work-space, including the position of your desk and your view.
o Redecorate with new colours, changing as much as possible.
o Choose new furniture, particularly chair and desk and whatever is in your range of sight while working.
o Create a time-table for arriving and leaving work; leave your office door open if just taking a break, but close it (lock it?) when your working day ends. Make sure you take everything you will need during the evening, just as if you worked away from home; use a briefcase?!
o Have a separate in-tray for domestic/social tasks, and only deal with them outside working hours.
o Even something small can help, such as using a specific mug during working hours, or a particular pen or notebook for “real” writing.
o Anything separate for “work” use will help: stationery, clothes, shelves, diary, etc. Make use of the visual element: eg if you use blue files for work docs, have only the blue files in front of you during work hours or in your work space.
o Use all the senses. The suggestions above are all about what you can see but consider the following: you might play music when working (or when not working); you might harness the sense of smell by lighting a scented candle when doing writing work, or enjoy the smell and taste of real coffee; and yes, you have my permission to eat chocolate to herald the start of a writing session… Anything that you can commit to doing every time you start what is supposed to be a proper working (or writing) session.
The more we can change, the more coherently we plan the changes and the more simultaneously we effect them all, the easier it is for our brain to break old habits and allow new behaviours.
But you’ve got to want to, as much as I wanted that shed, and you’ve got to keep wanting it. Old habits not only die hard, they can return. Be vigilant!
By the way, a new edition of my book, BLAME MY BRAIN - The Teenage Brain Revealed, is available from May, also with an ebook version.
At the end of 2012, I talked about burn out. Well, I started this year feeling re-energized (although very busy, still!), and part of the reason for my reinvigoration was that I had a small epiphany. (I may actually have had this epiphany on epiphany...)
What I realized is that during my busiest work times, when I'm feeling overwhelmed by everything I have to do, what I always wish for is the ability to stop time. (You know, like Evie from Out of This World!) What I don't wish is to be able to just sweep the work off my desk. This served as a reminder to me of how much I love my work, every part of it. (well, almost.) I actually want to do all the work. Of course, this hasn't taken away the fact that I don't always have time to do it all as quickly as I would like, but it did help me put things in perspective.
As with many (most?) of us, work-life balance is an on-going issue, and probably will be for most of my life. I don't have the solution, but in addition to some of my new year's resolutions (which are more about making boundaries between work and life, not how to handle workload), I do have some strategies to tackle workload issues this year.
I recently attended a management training that evaluated my personality in terms of leadership. One of the many insights I gained was into how I deal with high-pressure situations. During busy, high-stress times, there is one part of my personality that tends to gets disorganized, and another side of my personality that tries to do even more, take more onto my plate. Not a great combination, and I have to say, very true to my nature.
I've already known this about myself, but it was a good reminder. So I need to get back into the habit of saying "no" more, or at the very least, not volunteering up my time so easily. And I need to stay more organized--I have a few newish tools that I'm trying out, including workflowy.com, which was introduced to me by an agent.
We'll see how it goes!
Regardless, I know it's going to be a great year.
***
I'm heading to Seattle for ALA Midwinter on Friday. If you'll be there, come by the Little, Brown booth to say hi! I'll also be speaking on a CBC Diversity panel on Sunday, January 27, from 3-4. Hope you can make it!
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By: Caroline Starr Rose,
on 1/2/2013
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I have nothing to share about writing that is earth-shattering. What you’ll read here you probably already know. But like it is with all important things in our lives, it doesn’t hurt to hear certain things more than once. Here goes:
Read widely
Often writers are told to be well-versed in their genre. This is excellent advice, but reading shouldn’t end there. Picking up books in genres other than your own brings freshness to your writing and strengthens what you ultimately create. This nourishes you as a reader, too.
Study craft
None of us ever arrives. Our writing will improve if we continue to read craft blogs and books and take advantage of classes, critique groups, or conferences. Here are a few books I’ve read recently, am working on now, or plan to pick up this next year:
The Art and Craft of Writing Historical Fiction -- James Alexander Thom
Second Sight: An Editor's Talks on Writing, Revising, and Publishing Books for Children and Young Adults -- Cheryl Klein
Writing the Breakout Novel -- Donald Mass
Reading Like a Writer: A Guide for People Who Love Books and for Those Who Want to Write Them -- Francine Prose
Writing Irresistible Kidlit -- Mary Kole
Writing Picture Books: A Hands-On Guide from Story Creation to Publication -- Ann Whitford Paul
Take time away from writing
Make sure you are doing things outside of writing. Now that I write full-time, it’s very easy to stay detached from the rest of the world. Make an effort to engage your surroundings, whether that means tuning in to nature as you walk the dog or making a point to get involved in a new activity.
How do you nurture your writing life?
A Happy New Year to you! Here’s to the hopeful days of early January, at least for those of you old enough to be over the angst of adolescent despair and weeping at Auld Lang Syne.
No matter how often I’ve seen one year moving through to the next, I can't help loving the few deliciously lazy days that run from Boxing Day to that itchy evening in January when we get ready to go back to the Real World.
For now, the tree is still twinkling, there's enough food – though possibly in odd varieties - and any visitors can jolly well ignore the state of the house.
From a writing point of view, these quiet days are a gift, offering a space for clearer thinking, for hopeful decisions, for the construction of sturdy To Do lists and – maybe - the gathering up and cosseting of projects abandoned during 2012 in case they can be coaxed into good humour once more.
I’ve tidied my desk and put the in-tray in order. I've glanced at the remaining paperwork heaps and book piles and planned how to sort them and stow them. I've pondered about re-arranging my working space, again, again.
So now, for a very short while, there’s an illusion of positive order- but how that feeling feeds the sou! And nearby I spy that other solace: the empty diary, ready to be filled but still mostly under my control.
I opt for the forward gaze of Janus, not that retrospective face. Far too many things not done last year, far too many distractions that distracted during 2012. The New Year will be better, I promise myself, and just for a few days I can almost believe that.
So, here are my Notes to Self, my resolutions, for me.
That lightweight Christmas laptop? Now’s the time to test it out in the library or in local cafes, where the nagging everyday stuff has no choice but to hush down and the brain has space enough to work.
Set the timer. Open the folder, or the notebook. Keep on doing the small bits of writing that add up to the bigger thing.
Do nice things. Fill the well. Make time to actually meet that “artist date”, not just mourn about its absence. (And do plan such activities and outings into the diary.)
Oh, and don’t be a hermit. Plan time for meeting people, positive people, those whose company you enjoy. Beware of those other Meetings with a capital M that mean come away with even more Things to Do – especially when they need not be Your Things to Do.
Go out for walks or more. Move. Don’t let Rigor Scribis set in over the WIP. How will you come over as bright and dynamic at any agent meeting/ networking event /publisher’s party/award ceremony if writing toil has petrified the body? Think of those inspiring writers who frequently go walking, or to the gym or to swim.
Don’t neglect the smaller ideas. Don’t let that troublesome Big Idea blind you in its headlights. Looking back – which I won’t, I won’t - maybe I could have made time for smaller, more easily workable projects instead of being mesmerised? Let the good small ideas in, make them welcome. Build them a home.
On the other hand - and I'm not sure who said it: The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.
Let the writing, not the tweeting and networking, be the main task of the day. Give the inspiration room to fly.
Had enough of my resolutions? Just let me mention one last one, please.
Resolve to BE JOYFUL. The writing life can be grim and horrid and soul-sapping and lonesome and tricksy and financially unprofitable BUT there are far, far worse things to be doing than writing. Make the most of it. Yes, be sad and angry when there’s a need to, but don’t waste energy endlessly grouching.
That’s my Final Note to Self. Try and make 2013 as Happy a Year as it can be. (And keep calling back to read the posts on An Awfully Big Blog Adventure and Awfully Big Reviews, of course.)
Now, how about your 2013 resolutions?
Penny Dolan
www.pennydolan.com
A Boy Called M.O.U.S.E (Bloomsbury) Shortlisted for the West Sussex Children's Book Award and the Stockton Children's Book of the Year.
By: Caroline Starr Rose,
on 12/31/2012
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On Friday I posted about the books I've read in 2012 and mentioned I have only two reading goals for this upcoming year. Both are a result of some soul searching and a longing to nurture my reading life. Curious now? Here they are:
The Lucy Maude Montgomery Journals Read Along:
I first read these journals a decade ago and firmly believe they will be books I re-visit throughout my life. Already a number of you have told me via blog comments, email, or even Christmas card that you plan on reading along. Watch for details in the weeks ahead.
Forgo Goodreads and a public "Currently Reading" list for the year:
I love the opportunity to talk about books.
Goodreads has been a wonderful place to both get recommendations and comment on friends' selections, but this, along with my easily accessible currently reading page, has left me exhausted, friends. I know few of you are so interested in my reading that you check in regularly to see what's going on, but just the thought that I've made this very special aspect of my life so public has drained me considerably. I've talked a bit about this
here and
here.
Part of being an author in the age of social media means maintaining a public persona. I'm finding that while I enjoy this, right now, I'd like to reclaim my reading as something private, something for me only. I will be beholden to no one this upcoming year and am already relishing what this will mean for me as a reader.
I'm an introvert, remember? I crave privacy and am trying to intentionally build it in where I can.
This doesn't mean I won't blog about reading! I can't imagine never talking about books. There will be
On My Nightstand posts, posts that highlight books in various ways, currently reading discussions on my
May B. Facebook page. What you won't get is a blow-by-blow of everything I'm reading. That I'll keep in a
journal I started and have faithfully kept since 2005. I'll continue to read your recommendations over at Goodreads. And I know I'll click over just to see the pretty covers in my own collection. But there will be no new postings there.
What are your reading goals for 2013?
Happy New Year to you! I had a pretty awesome 2011 but am really excited about the promise of a brand new year and loving that 2012 is the National Year of Reading. Also really excited about my role as local ambassador for Bunbury, WA.
I had toyed with the idea of a reading meme for the National Year of Reading, but there are so many other really good ones already that I hesitated to add
By:
Annie Beth Ericsson,
on 2/1/2011
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Finished revising one of the color pieces for Ollie And Logger, which is the first dummy book I’m polishing up for submission (my New Years’ resolution due date: April 1st!). And… well… it’s an improvement. I’m happy with Logger, the brown turtle, since he’s in the style of the first color piece I revised. But wow, painting a plastic bag floating in the ocean is CRAZY hard!!
I heard a quote recently of an artist who wouldn’t accept any manuscripts that contained “horses or bicycles” (smart move). Well, from now on, no more stories about amorphous objects in water, either. Just say no.
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When Alvina’s entry last week mentioned the tradition of BRG’s to post their New Year’s resolutions, it got me thinking about tradition.
Every New Year’s Day since that day in 1995, I have placed a new, daily Disney calendar on my nightstand and ripped off the cover so January 1st showed. Why my mother decided I needed or wanted a Disney calendar for Hanukkah at 16 years old, I can’t say. I also can’t explain why it became clear that she should buy me another the following year. In 1996, the calendar came with me to overnight camp and that summer while she was becoming my best friend, my co-counselor and I would turn the page together at midnight. Starting that summer, the calendar became a sort of horoscope; it was always easy to start the day with the image of Cinderella’s fairy godmother, but when Queen Maleficent greeted me, I approached the day with trepidation. Through the years the calendars have followed me…to college, to my first apartment, to New York.
(Please still take me seriously as a professional literary agent)In December, my mother called and said she had bad news, “Rebecc, I can’t find the Disney calendar. “ Still on the phone, we went online together and confirmed—there is not a 2011 daily Disney calendar. Now I know that so many have faced much greater losses. Still, without a choice, a tradition that I’ve maintained for half my life ended.
When I was at my mother’s house between Christmas and New Year’s she had the local news on TV (for some reason she still doesn’t believe me that the Daily Show provides more news that he local NBC). There was a “man on the street” segment in which people were asked what their New Year’s resolutions were. One woman exclaimed, “If I tell you it won’t come true!” and the newscaster responded, “No! That’s a wish!”
It was a funny moment, but it also made me think. While it’s pretty obvious, I had what my 2010 gift bestower, Oprah, would call “an ah-ha moment.” A wish is hoped for and beyond one’s control. (I realize Alvina and Grace also mentioned this in their 2011 posts, but I needed to realize it for myself and in my own way). A resolution is an achievable goal that can only be reached by the efforts of the list maker herself. So here are my resolutions…*
1. By the end of each business day, respond or have my assistant respond to every email or call from a client, a publisher’s office, or within Writers House.
Now it may seem a given that I would do this, but days are quickly filled with the most urgent matters and on projects that were already on the calendar for the day. At times, the emails I receive between the time I leave the office and enter the next morning could fill my entire day. My goal is not to answer every inquiry posed to me daily, because it would be impossible. I will respond and give a realistic timeline for when their email or call will be addressed
Thank goodness it's finally 2011. I swear, 2010 had some good things and bad things in its suitcase, but I could not wait to see it out the door!
Harper Lee and I have been busy getting the apartment cleaned of holiday stuff (though I've yet to take the wreath down because it's so pretty) and I'm finally working on my new story, which I hope will be my 2012 book. It's about sisters, one of whom has left the family -- and how the remaining sister deals with facing her first real heartbreak alone. No explosions or car chases, but there is an unrequited love and touches of prophecy throughout. So excited to dig into a meaningful story!
The beginning of a year is always a great time for lists - so here's mine.
Things to remember in 2011:
- You can only control what you do, feel, & think. You are the captain of your own ship.
- Family and friends can make a huge difference in your life, so treat them kindly.
- It's important to "pick a point" on the horizon. Decide where you'd like to go before you leave.
- Help others - especially with their dreams and goals.
- You deserve a clean house, efficient workspace, good appearance, a home cooked meal. Take care of yourself as you would for others.
- Leave room for spontaneity and fun in your plans.
- Life is short so don't put off doing the things you want to do.
- Trying is never stupid. Not trying is ridiculous.
- Continue to be courageous, honest, and open - even if it means you sometimes get hurt.
- "Stay golden, Pony Boy."
Do you have any thoughts to remember for 2011? I would love to see what you're holding in mind as we start the new year...
Love and light,
Heather
www.heatherdavisbooks.com
Wherever You Go - Harcourt Fall 2011
The Clearing - Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Never Cry Werewolf - HarperTeen
We continue with our discussion of New Year’s Resolutions:
Do you have any tips for keeping true to your goals?
To keep true to your goals, really believe they are possible and work toward achieving them. Look for those moments that seem inspired by the universe, and use these moments to help launch your goal achievement forward. Don’t just expect things to land in your lap. Make a plan, and use it to move forward in life.—P. J. Hoover, author of the middle grade science fiction novel, THE EMERALD TABLET.
I think one sometimes overlooked element here is knowing what you really want and being realistic about what is required to get it. A lot of people “want” to be writers or to have a published book, but they don’t actually want to spend much time writing. In that case, a goal isn’t going to do much good, I don’t think, unless that goal is more process-oriented, such as, “spend an hour a day writing” or “come up with a book project that I enjoy so much, I don’t want to do anything else.”—Joni Sensel, author of THE FARWALKER’S QUEST and other middle-grade and YA fantasies.
Joni makes a good point. This also brings up the difference between goals and tasks. A goal is a big step, like, “Become a published writer” or “Make over $20,000 by writing this year.” Tasks are the small, specific steps you need to take to get there. Even if you complete every task successfully, you may not reach the goal because some aspects are out of your control. Still, if you have a goal, you’ll have a much better chance of reaching it if you identify the intermediary tasks. They can also act as a reality check. For example, let’s say you’re a beginning writer who wants to sell a book manuscript this year. The first step might be to research what it takes to be published. You might learn that most writers have to spend several thousand hours studying and practicing before they get published. You realize that to study and practice writing for 2000 hours, you would have to work 40 hours a week for a year. You can’t do that. Maybe you bump back your goal of selling a book to five years and set a new goal of having two or three short stories ready for submission by the end of the year. Your tasks could be to spend five hours a week on writing, read a different children’s magazine every week, and take a summer writing class.—Chris Eboch, author of the middle grade HAUNTED series about kids who travel with a ghost hunter TV show.
The group was pretty quiet on this one, so Readers, help us out. Do you have any ideas?
Tomorrow: We wrap up with How do you celebrate success? What happens when you fail to achieve the goal?
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Roundtable Tagged:
goal setting,
goals,
resolutions 
4 Comments on Resolutions (Part 4), last added: 1/7/2011
At the beginning of the year, I made eight work-related New Year's resolutions. It's been a while since I looked back at them, and since there's less than a month left of 2010 (eeeek!!!), I thought I'd check in and see if there isn't anything I can firm up my resolve about in these final days of the year.
1) Learn how to say "no" more.
Hmmm. Oh, gosh, I totally forgot about this one, and I don't think I achieved it at all. I find it hard to say no to speaking requests that are based in NY, like the NYPL panel I did last month, or the school visit I did at a High School in Brooklyn a few weeks ago, or the panel on digital publishing that I'm doing tonight at a Middle School! And I've said yes to a bunch of guest blogs and interviews, although I've realized that I've also dropped the ball on a few. I guess that was why I had this resolution, because I found myself saying yes, and then forgetting or not having time to follow through...ugg. Oops...
2) Stop counting on weekend and vacations and holidays to "catch up" on work.
I think I've been better about this than in previous years.
3) Don't stay at the office past 9 pm.
I think I've only broken this one two or three times, on nights before leaving for a trip. But I've never stayed past 10, so that's an achievement.
4) Work towards "Inbox Zero"--I think this is probably too lofty a goal, so to be a little more realistic, I'd like to have under 20 emails in my inbox by the end of each day (Let's call it Inbox Twenty).
For most of the year, I actually achieved this, and it's been amazing. Life changing, even. But just in the past two weeks my workdays have been filled with back-to-back meetings even more than usual, and I've had more after-work engagements than usual as well, and so I've failed to do this at least four days in the past two weeks alone. Darn it. I'm going to try to keep this up, though, because it's such a weight off my shoulders knowing that I don't have hundreds of emails waiting to be dealt with.
5) While at work, work. Less socializing and web surfing.
Yes, I think I've achieved this, although I've fallen off my "only check Twitter in the morning, at lunch, and after 5"--I've definitely cheated.
6) Acquire at least two picture books, two middle grade, and two young adult projects this year.
This really has been a year of acquiring YA for me. Although I have a few picture book projects in the works/close to acquisition, I haven't actually contracted new picture books this year. But I have acquired more than two MG and YA projects.
7) Read a little before bed at least five times a week. Read at least one published book per month.
I've definitely read more published books this year, averaging at least one per month. I've also read more in bed before falling asleep, although I don't think it's averaged five times a week. Sometimes I conk out right away, or need to veg out watching TV.
8) Tidy my office at least a little bit once a week.
Ummm....this one would be a definite NO. I coworker walked into my office last week and said, "Gee, and I thought my desk was bad." Oh well.
Maybe in January I should resolve to review my resolutions more often. Ha! But overall, I do think I've achieved a better work-life balance than last year. I hope I'm at least headed in th
A Different Approach to Setting Goals
I’ve been
all about goals and resolutions this year, inspired in part by reading
The Happiness Project and in part by my desire to make progress with my writing. After reading a challenge from the folks at Teaching Authors, I even wrote up
a six-word resolution for the year (Write. Create. Revise. Complete. Enjoy. Repeat.) So when the Vermont Novel Writing Workshop opened with a session on setting goals, I felt like I was in good shape.
YA Novelist and writing teacher
Sarah Aronson, who organized the retreat and led the goal setting session, urged all of us in the audience to think realistically about how we use our time before setting our goals.
How much time do we have to write? How much time do we spend caring for families, working at jobs, driving kids around, volunteering, cooking, cleaning, watching TV, and even, um…, blogging? Write it down, all of it, she said.
Since I write while my kids are at school, I have about twenty hours a week to devote to writing—all of my writing. That includes my novel, blogging here, blogging at
StorySleuths, and writing short stories. Twenty hours is a good chunk of time, and I’m grateful for it.
Then, Sarah asked us to consider how our schedules match up with our priorities.
Oh, I realize there’s nothing new to the idea of comparing time with priorities but I had never looked at it in the stark light of basic numbers. Twenty hours a week and maybe one or two hours spent on my novel? The rest spent on… what? Blogging? “Research”?
Holy crap.
New resolution: Spend two hours a day working on my novel before working on any other writing. Ten hours of focused novel writing a week should add up to real progress over time.
On Friday, I’ll talk about how the first week has gone. In the meantime, how do you allot your time? Do you set daily writing goals? If so, how does that work for you? I’d love to hear about challenges, tips, and ideas!
One of the most common tips given to aspiring writers is read, an easy rule for me since I love reading. I read middle grade novels, YA, mysteries, magazines, recipe books, memoirs, the New York Times, writing books, articles about education reform, blogs, The Horn Book, and research materials for my novel.
But I don’t typically read short stories. Why? Probably for the same reason that many people don’t:
- Limited time to read a large and constantly growing pile of books.
- The disappointment that lingers after reading a dissatisfying story.
- The sense that some short stories seem pretentious or contrived.
- And most importantly, to me, the frustration of connecting with a character just before the story ends.
However, I feel compelled to read short stories given my goal to write two per month. The problem is that whenever I pick up a collection of stories, I invariably set it aside for something else.
I discovered that I am not the only person who doesn’t read a lot of short stories.
In a September, 2007, essay that appeared in the New York Times, Stephen King bemoaned the shrinking audience for short stories. He wrote,
In too many cases, that audience happens to consist of other writers and would-be writers who are reading the various literary magazines… not to be entertained but to get an idea of what sells there.
An audience of writers and would-be writers. That audience category would include me, only rather than conducting market research, I am more curious about what a short story looks like.
- How long is a good story?
- What makes it different from a chapter in a novel?
- And the big question, when I find a short story I really like, what makes it work? Why do some stories hold my attention while others don’t?
In search of answers, I pulled a few short story collections from my shelf.
Then, after weeks of guilt when looking at the unopened stack of books, I decided on a new approach, one inspired by Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project. She says that
“By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished," and
“What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.”
I decided to read one short story a day.
It’s an easy commitment to make, just fifteen to thirty minutes out of the day. A short story is perfect reading for a solo lunch or while waiting for my daughter’s gymnastics class to end.
Since taking the story-a-day tack, I’ve read—and enjoyed—more than thirty stories. Turns out that just like chocolates from a box of See’s Candy, short stories aren’t meant to be consumed one after the other. Instead, they’re individual treats, bon-bons to be savored in the moment.
In the coming weeks, I’ll share with you some of my favorite collections of short stories as well as some of the writing lessons I’ve learned from the stories.
Every time I encounter the quantity vs. quality debate, I vow to write more. One of my resolutions this year was to write two short stories a month. Sadly, I have not made much progress on that front.
Turns out, it takes a long time to write a short story. The first draft of my Geektastic-inspired short story, which I began for the StorySleuths StoryChallenge in January, is about 95% complete. It just needs an ending.
Although I’m off to a slow start, I’m not going to give up. I assume that the more stories I attempt to write, the more I will improve. Some may not work out, such as the other story I began in January. But some will.
Anton Chekhov, a master at short stories, gave this advice to his brother, Alexander:
To have as few failures as possible in fiction writing, or in order not to be so sensitive to failures, you must write more, around one hundred or two hundred stories a year. That is the secret.
A hundred or two hundred stories a year!
Wow.
Better get typing.
(Note: The Anton Chekhov quote comes from Bob Blaisdell’s article “A Few Words of Advice from Anton Chekhov, The Writer, September, 2004).
In the coming weeks, I’ll be posting here about writing and reading short stories for middle grade and young adult readers. I would love to hear from you. What are your experiences writing short stories?
***
First of all, I added a few pictures to my ALA Midwinter post when I cross-posted it on my personal blog. Check it out
here.
And here's a picture of what I came into my office to see after the news was announced. My assistant made the huge medal to adorn the book (the Al Roker is from another coworker after we found out the book would be Al Roker's Book Club pick on the
Today show, and the stars are for the starred reviews the book received). The beautiful flowers are from my Publisher. They smelled fantastic, too.
I'm still basking in the news of Grace's Newbery Honor, and I can't express enough my gratitude to the
Newbery Committee who recognized
Where the Mountain Meets the Moon. As I mentioned in my post, as an editor, it is my dream to acquire and edit a book that becomes a classic. Of course, a Newbery Honor, or even a Newbery Medal, does not ensure that a book will become a classic, but it sure the heck doesn't hurt! Grace, your books are all classics in my book.
****
So, now that we're over three weeks into 2010 (not a bad year so far, I must say!), and I thought I'd check to see how I'm doing on my
work resolutions.
Yes! I turned down at least two conference invites this year already, as well as a few requests for meetings.
2) Stop counting on weekend and vacations and holidays to "catch up" on work. I'm sorry to say that I haven't kept this up. In fact, I went into the office both days this past weekend. Then again, I didn't feel bad about it. I enjoyed the work I accomplished.
3) Don't stay at the office past 9 pm.Yes! I think two days this year I stayed till just before 9 pm, but overall I've managed to leave the office at a decent time each evening.
4) Work towards "Inbox Zero"--I think this is probably too lofty a goal, so to be a little more realistic, I'd like to have under 20 emails in my inbox by the end of each day (Let's call it Inbox Twenty). Yes! I'm the most amazed that I've been able to keep this up. The closest call was the first Monday back at work after the break, because I was dealing with weeks of emails that had piled up over my vacation. As 8 pm passed, I realized that resolution #3 would at times be in direct competition with #4...but for now, both resolutions have been achieved.
5) While at work, work. Less socializing and web surfing. Yes! Limiting Facebook and Twitter use while at work has worked wonders. I should probably cut out Gawker, too, though.
6) Acquire at least two picture books, two middle grade, and two young adult projects this year.I'm working on it! Just finalized a two-book deal for two YA novels--more on that after the deal is announced. Also have a three-book middle grade deal in the works...
7) Read a little before bed at least five times a week. Read at least one published book per mont
Cross-posted from the Blue Rose Girls.
***
I always make New Year's resolutions, including my "no candy" resolution of eight or so years ago. One of my resolutions this year (and last year, too, although I didn't achieve it) is to blog at least once a month on my personal blog. (Cross-posts from the Blue Rose Girls don't count.) Well, to get in the habit, I posted my first original bloomabilities post in a loooong time on Wednesday--I looked back on my Oughts here.
So now it's 2010 and it's back to work. Vacation is over--it passed so quickly! I got more than 50% of my very lengthy work "to do" list done, so I feel okay about starting the work year. However, because of the work, it wasn't a true vacation. It never really is, right? I think we all struggle with maintaining a work/life balance.
Around New Year's, agent Barry Goldblatt tweeted (or retweeted, rather) this:
Definitely! RT@DaveMcKean Resolution? More unequivocal days, that is WORK days and PLAY days, not guilty play days and distracted work days.
That really resonated with me, because if I had to pick two words to describe how I felt last year, they would be "busy" and "guilty." I felt guilty all the time because of all of the things I had to do and wasn't doing. All of the submissions yet to read, the unanswered emails and calls, the people to get back to. I felt guilty all the time about not working, even when I wasn't supposed to be working. And that needs to stop.
So, in addition to my usual work goals, in 2010 I'm going to try to set some boundaries and make some changes in how I work. Here are a few of my work-related resolutions I've come up with so far:
1) Learn how to say "no" more. Last year I really did try to say no to favors and requests that I really didn't have the time to do, but if someone insists and says "Are you sure? Please?" I often fold and say yes. I need to stop that. Because this past year, I've said yes to things, and then have not followed through with the task in a timely manner, and that's contributed to this constant sense of guilt.
2) Stop counting on weekend and vacations and holidays to "catch up" on work. Weekends and vacations are "me" time! And it never really works, anyway. (This is an example of "guilty play days.")
3) Don't stay at the office past 9 pm.
4) Work towards "Inbox Zero"--I think this is probably too lofty a goal, so to be a little more realistic, I'd like to have under 20 emails in my inbox by the end of each day (Let's call it Inbox Twenty). If you're curious as to what Inbox Zero is, watch this (rather long)
video:
5) While at work, work. Less socializing and web surfing. Sure, Twitter and Facebook and blog reading are also work-related for me, but I need to stop checking the sites throughout the day. Once in the morning, once during lunchtime, and once after 5 pm will suffice.
6) Acquire at least two picture books, two middle grade, and two young adult projects this year.
7) Read a little before bed at least five times a week. Read at least one published book per month.
8) Tidy my office at least a little bit once a week.
And, of course, I resolve to keep all of my resolutions! Really! And if I
I always make New Year's resolutions, including my "no candy" resolution of eight or so years ago. One of my resolutions this year (and last year, too, although I didn't achieve it) is to blog at least once a month on my personal blog. (Cross-posts from the Blue Rose Girls don't count.) Well, to get in the habit, I posted my first original bloomabilities post in a loooong time on Wednesday--I looked back on my Oughts here.
So now it's 2010 and it's back to work. Vacation is over--it passed so quickly! I got more than 50% of my very lengthy work "to do" list done, so I feel okay about starting the work year. However, because of the work, it wasn't a true vacation. It never really is, right? I think we all struggle with maintaining a work/life balance.
Around New Year's, agent Barry Goldblatt tweeted (or retweeted, rather) this:
Definitely! RT@DaveMcKean Resolution? More unequivocal days, that is WORK days and PLAY days, not guilty play days and distracted work days.
That really resonated with me, because if I had to pick two words to describe how I felt last year, they would be "busy" and "guilty." I felt guilty all the time because of all of the things I had to do and wasn't doing. All of the submissions yet to read, the unanswered emails and calls, the people to get back to. I felt guilty all the time about not working, even when I wasn't supposed to be working. And that needs to stop.
So, in addition to my usual work goals, in 2010 I'm going to try to set some boundaries and make some changes in how I work. Here are a few of my work-related resolutions I've come up with so far:
1) Learn how to say "no" more. Last year I really did try to say no to favors and requests that I really didn't have the time to do, but if someone insists and says "Are you sure? Please?" I often fold and say yes. I need to stop that. Because this past year, I've said yes to things, and then have not followed through with the task in a timely manner, and that's contributed to this constant sense of guilt.
2) Stop counting on weekend and vacations and holidays to "catch up" on work. Weekends and vacations are "me" time! And it never really works, anyway. (This is an example of "guilty play days.")
3) Don't stay at the office past 9 pm.
4) Work towards "Inbox Zero"--I think this is probably too lofty a goal, so to be a little more realistic, I'd like to have under 20 emails in my inbox by the end of each day (Let's call it Inbox Twenty). If you're curious as to what Inbox Zero is, watch this (rather long)
video:
5) While at work, work. Less socializing and web surfing. Sure, Twitter and Facebook and blog reading are also work-related for me, but I need to stop checking the sites throughout the day. Once in the morning, once during lunchtime, and once after 5 pm will suffice.
6) Acquire at least two picture books, two middle grade, and two young adult projects this year.
7) Read a little before bed at least five times a week. Read at least one published book per month.
8) Tidy my office at least a little bit once a week.
And, of course, I resolve to keep all of my resolutions! Really! And if I don't, I won't feel guilty about it, because I hereby declare 2010 the Year of No Guilt.
What are some of your resolutions if you make them? Wha
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Love the LBYR stuff!
And I recommend Athens :)
I still have my relo packet too! Packrat mentality...
Fun to see this and my goodness that was a long time ago! Those offices seem like another life and we seem like other people in it.