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Are you always telling your students to add detail? This book is for you. Enter to win a copy!

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We can teach students about improving their writing process and to write with detail and voice by watching Guy Fieri on "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives."

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I just did a quick revision of a picture book that’s in progress.

Shorter. One goal was to shorten the story whenever possible. I cut out an entire page, and an entire sentence. Doesn’t sound like much? At only 700 words, the story is as streamlined as I can make it. Well, no. I just cut out one page and a sentence. Honing the text to the tightest possible is important for picture book texts.

When I’m asked to read someone’s manuscript, here’s my main comment: Cut it in half.

And a friend adds this: After cutting it in half, cut another 100 words.

Common Core. The Common Core education standards are a couple years now and their requirements are definitely on my mind. I am constantly consulting the standards for each grade level and working to make sure the picture book is useful in the classroom. Because I write for early elementary, I consider this a crucial aspect of what I do.

First, I focus on the story. Is the story itself compelling and interesting for the audience? If so, then can I add anything that will enhance it’s use in the classroom, without changing the essential story elements? For example, my picture book, THE JOURNEY OF OLIVER K. WOODMAN is now ten years old and still selling well. Part of the reason is that the story is told in letters and postcards. Of course, children’s learn about writing letters and postcards in early elementary, so this book is a natural for teachers to use as a mentor text. The story came first and demanded to be written in an epistolary (big word for letters) format. But after the story worked, then the layout and design decisions enhanced its usefulness in the classroom. Story first; but don’t ignore the book’s classroom usefulness.

Details. The Work-in-progress is about cats and I’m looking at about 20 cats that could be used in various places in the story. Which cat goes where? It’s a balancing act which requires me to know something about different cat breeds and match them to my story. I also have to carefully tabulate and re-tabulate which breeds I’ve used. I can’t use one breed twice, but each of the 20 breeds must be used. Check. No, move that one to this place. Re-check. It was a morning of detailed work!

Research.
I know–everyone loves cat videos. But have you ever seen a Devon Rex cat?

If you can’t see this video, click here.

In case you were wondering, according to the Cat Fancier’s Association, here’s the top 20 most popular cat breeds in 2013. (In other words, I am doing research to document and justify the breeds I am using in the story.)

RANK BREED
1 Persian
2 Exotic
3 Maine Coon Cat
4 Ragdoll
5 British Shorthair
6 Abyssinian
7 American Shorthair
8 Sphynx
9 Siamese
10 Devon Rex
11 Norwegian Forest Cat
12 Oriental
13 Scottish Fold
14 Cornish Rex
15 Birman
16 Burmese
17 Tonkinese
18 Siberian
19 Russian Blue
20 Egyptian Mau

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I like to look for treasures on YouTube.

It's a bit like looking for treasures at the dump. The amount of junk one must sort through is appalling. Thank heaven for decent search engines.

I want to share with you now some of my favorite YouTube goodies that I found in the last month.

1. Howard Tayler on 'Who Needs Talent?'

This is only the first part. But watch all four parts. It completely changed the way I think about writing, 'talent', and what I have potential to do.

2. Dan Wells on 'Seven Point Story Structure'.

This is an AWESOME seminar that helped me a lot. I'm a budding outliner (I used to think I was a freewriter, but I think I'm changing with age) and having only ever freewritten my entire life, I was lost as to how to begin. This helped me through. First of five parts.


3. The Definition of Steampunk


Brilliant. Just brilliant.

4. World's Fastest Gun Disarm


Because maybe one of your characters needs to be able to do this. There are tutorials, but I'm fairly certain most of us can't be as fast as this dude.

Speaking of gun tutorials: do you have a character who needs to know how to intelligently use a firearm?

5. This guy has a channel with, like, 900 videos on how to shoot a gun, for newbies. He's got stuff from the difference between smoky and smokeless powder, to reasons why not to put your thumb behind the slide on a semi-automatic... which is what the next video is about. If you want details, this guy will give you details.


Hope something in this grab bag of a post was useful to you! Tell me about it in the comments, if you did.

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The idea of description and detail has been on my mind since that conference with Kevin. When might writers pause in their narrative to describe with rich detail?

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There’s an excitement in the air! I’ve started a new novel project.
Here’s what I don’t want to happen:

I don’t want the excitement for this project to get bogged down and dribble away. It happens too easily, as life issues take over, as problems arise with the project, or just as the work drags on.

I don’t want to talk bad about this project to anyone. Sometimes, I fall into the habit of complaining. This chapter or that character just aren’t cooperating! Why is this so hard? ARGH! I hate this project because it’s not going like I want. Nope. None of that this time. I love this project and I’m excited about it. I think my readers will love it, too. Hurrah! It’s such a joy to be working on such a great project.

I don’t want this project to drag on forever. I have scheduled two months to get a first draft done and I’m working hard on keeping to that schedule.

Here’s things I want to happen:
Joy. Excitement. Productivity.

Scheduling the Project

When faced with a big project, how do you break it down into manageable pieces?
I’ve already gone through the process of deciding what kind of novel this will be. Now, I just need to write it.

Here are the steps I plan to follow:
One page synopsis. I’ve written a one-page summary of the story, knowing full well that it would need to be fleshed out when the time comes. Now that the time is here, it’s easy to see where I want the story to go. There are huge gaps in the story, of course, but the one-page synopsis grounds the story in some particular issues.

Subplots to Detailed Plot.I am taking a day to flesh out some of the subplots. For example, one subplot will involve kids planning a parade. I spent today researching fun ideas to add to the parade and parade planning. Did you know that some parades these days require horses to wear diapers? It’s true. Horse poop on city streets–though once the norm–is now a no-no. There are special bags which are strapped to horses to catch their “meadow muffins.” (Now, see, isn’t that great language to use in a book? Meadow muffins. Horse apples.) Real life can be stranger than fiction: horse diapers.

I’ll take a day to research the other subplots and layout some ideas for developing the plot lines. Then, I’ll spend a day picking and choosing scenes to include and weaving them into the main plot line to create a detailed plot. That breaks the task of plotting into steps that I can manage. By approaching it from the subplot angle, I am free to make leaps and make errors: it doesn’t matter, it’s just a subplot. But in the end, I am sure that I’ll find some unique things to add to this story to make it more fun and funny.

WARNING: THIS 24-SECOND VIDEO SHOWS A HORSE POOPING. Your kids will probably love it!

If you can’t see this video, click here.

Characterization and character continuity. With a detailed plot in hand, I’ll double check the characterization needed. Because this is a second book in a series, much of the characterization is set up and I’ll need to continue it on, create an emotional arc for this book and make sure there is continuity. The first step will be the emotional arc for the character. I’ll need to make sure the external plot echoes the internal arc. This means a detailed summary of the story that includes the plot, subplots and character issues.

Revise. With a very long, detailed synopsis of the story, I’ll look for holes in logic, characterization and plot.

Write. Finally, I’ll use the synopsis to create a full draft–by Halloween.

This is a slightly different process for me, with more upfront planning. I’d like the full synopsis to be about 1/3 of the finished book, which will be enough detail to help me get the whole story done.

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My swimmer will see the world differently than your detective. But how?

Last fall, I attended a revision workshop led by The Muffin’s very own Darcy Pattison. One of the things that Darcy emphasized was that we not only include plenty of details in our writing, but that we include the right details in our writing.

As I picked through my manuscript, something hit me. Yes, I had enough detail for the reader to experience the setting, but I hadn’t chosen the details that my character would most likely notice. I’m a very visual person with an acute sense of smell and am easily distracted by sound, thus I had sight, smell and sound covered.

What was missing were the kinesthetic details, details that focus on movement and how things feel to the touch. My character is a swimmer who is always being told by his teachers to be still. Clearly, I needed to work motion details into my story, because these are the kinds of things that my character would notice.

As I started working attention to motion into my story, I realized that my character may not see the world in black and white, but he would definitely see it in terms of constricting stillness vs glorious motion. That’s just how he’s wired.

Another character that I’ve been working with is a flashy girl who lives in a circus. She does everything with a certain flash and pizzazz so that is how she divides things – allowed to use her pizzazz vs not allowed to use her pizzazz.

A character who can speak to wolves notices more to do with scent and sound than do her fellow humans.

The character who is an incarnation of Persephone is still giving me fits. Obviously, she’s going to be tuned into plants and the natural cycle, but I’m not sure how it will color her perceptions of those around her.

Do you know your characters well enough to know how they see the world? What details would they notice that you would overlook? What is their good vs their bad? Remember, you are answering this for your character. If her answers too closely resemble your own, you might have a bit more work to do.

–SueBE

Read more of SueBE's writing at her blog.

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Earlier this week, while I proofread a few chapters from my current WIP, a scary thought raced through my mind.

'It's so....white.'

Translated, it's completely vanilla and filled with cream-colored references. Even the main female character is decked out in white in almost every scene. (And no, she is not a doctor, and trust me, she's no angel.)

Now, I'm not saying the writing is bad, it's just lacking color in these chapters.

Kind of disappointing coming from a writer with "Mango Crush" on her office walls.

But the revelation reminded me of an exercise I would use with freshman English students who struggled to bring color to their writing.

Perhaps I'd asked them to describe the sun, bring it to life through color. What would I get? Yellow. Plain ol' yellow.

I would ask them to describe the shade of yellow. Is it the color of butter? Of a buttercup along a country road? The yellow of a middle-of-July sunflower? Post-it note yellow?

"Just yellow," students would reply.

The next day, they would be in for a surprise. Paint samples littered a tabletop. (Thank you, locally-owned hardware store.)

"Show me what kind of yellow."

Once they saw the connection between a concrete example and word choice, their writing improved.

I don't want my writing to be 'just yellow' - or just plain ol' white - for that matter. I want vibrant words to run down the pages.

After a trip to the lumber yard, Eros Pink, Adriatic Sea, and Jargon Jade complete the scenes, along with a tinge of Crescent Moon White.

by LuAnn Schindler. Read more of LuAnn's work at her website. 

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This last week I have been doing a last look through of a manuscript I am sending out for publish soon.  Something kept nagging me and I knew some little but significant tidbit was missing, but I couldn't grasp what it was.  Since I was looking at the hardcopy and not the computer file, I was slow to realize the problem. 

I've always kept my hardcopy in three sections, one on top the other in a criss-cross pattern.  Only when I was stacking the papers did it dawn me.  In my mind the book is in three parts, but I had yet to do a Part One, Part Two and Part Three in the computer to signify the division in the book.  That little detail makes a big difference in my story.  It will keep readers on track and not wonder why the big transition without some indication of a shift in the book. 

In my everyday life I was lacking a small detail as well.  My granddaughters and I are going swimming today and they requested chicken wraps for our picnic.  I liked their thinking and thought what a treat that would be come lunchtime.  Except I forgot my kitchen is still under construction.  I have no stove to bake the chicken and I was feeling too lazy to go to the store to purchase cooked chicken.  After the storm passed last night, I grilled the chicken and all was well, or so I hoped.

This morning I had to wait for my girls to arrive because I couldn't remember which they preferred on their wraps: mayo or ranch dressing!  I sure didn't want to go to all the trouble of making a fresh chicken wrap and have the wrong sauce on it!  Little details make all the difference.

So for those looking for an easy and tasty lunch, below is my simple recipe for chicken wraps:

2 cooked/grilled chicken breasts, season as desired, shredded
one avocado
bacon, cooked, crumbled or sliced into small pieces
spinach or your favorite lettuce, (paper towel to dry)
onion (opt) my girls said NO to that!
ranch dressing or another dressing of your choice
black olives
grape-size tomatoes
tortilla shells (I prefer the refrigerated ones)
shredded cheese (I prefer a blend of cheddar and jack)


Assemble:
spread dressing over tortilla
layer ingredients starting with cheese and spinach
add the other ingredients: the trick is not to fill it too full.

Fold the ends in and roll, secure the edge with a dab of dressing or stab with a toothpick.
Cut in half about 3/4 way through
store in a water/air tight container and refrigerate until time to eat
This usually makes 4-6 wraps, depending on the size of the chicken breasts.
Serve with more sauce if desired.

Enjoy!

Don't forget the napkins!

Til next time ~

DL Larson

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It's kind of hard to believe, but now that I've put in the trees, I feel like I'm nearing the end.  I still have work to do in each panel, but at this point, it's details, fine tuning, and fairy minor adjustments.  If all goes well, I'd say that I have about a week of additions and "fixings".   I'll have to move the panels around in order to finish some parts - to make sure that the continuity from one panel to the next is accurate. Then, I'd give myself another week of obsessively staring, analyzing, and more fixing.  After that, I guess it will be time to put the protective top varnish on and seal it.

Yesterday, I put in several more trees and shrubs and extended some of the yellow flowers.  I may add a few more in, but probably not much.

I also started to put in the pumpkin stems, although I think I'll switch them to the browner side.  But, as you can see, this panel has really come together!

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Reread your story.
Does it surprise you at any point? Does it keep YOUR interest?

Recently I reread a story that I had not read for a while, long enough for me to start to be fuzzy on details. Here are some things that struck me.

Interesting details. Stories which leave behind generalities in favor of specific, telling details are winners.

“To see Mrs. Lopez’s smile was to understand the amazing abilities of a mouth: her mouth was as wide as a whale’s and everyone knew her business–and the silver in her molars.”

Emotions. Characterization is hard, especially making emotional connections throughout. You should never have to guess at what a character is feeling, because a story should Show-Don’t-Tell-Then-Tell it. Remember, you can’t TELL until you’ve first SHOWN. But then, you can add enough to make the situation or emotions specific.

“My heart went skippety-skip. A sideways glance: Marj’s freckles looked friendly enough, even if she wasn’t smiling. But she didn’t answer the question, didn’t say she was my mother.”

Scene cuts. The story has several strong scene cuts, leaving out the “boring bits” and jumping to a new setting, new character dynamic or something that at first seems to be a total nonsequitur, but spins the story in exciting new ways. Too often a scene dribbles along with weak conflict or poor dialogue. Too often the next scene is expected–and boring.

Escalating Conflict that Never Relents. Finally, the story keeps the conflict front and center, you never get relief. Which means the reader keeps turning the pages. “Conflict on every page,” preaches agent Donald Maass. He has me converted!

What are you noticing afresh in your reading these days?

Nook Kindle PDF Look for it in the iBook store.

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Well, I've finally made it into panel 5 (and it's turned against the side wall of the garge - hence, turning the corner)! 

Just started mapping out the floor tiles and fixing some proportions.  While the projector was incredibly handy, working from a very small original painting means that little distortions are increased in my tracings - mole hills become mountains.  So, some adjustments to the chef are necessary.  Also, the floor tiles are taking a little bit of time to get a sense of fairly balanced visual perspective without being overly hard-edge and mechanical.  But, I'm enjoying working on something different for a while.

The toasting figures are in a good place for now - I'm content with the direction that they're going.  I was not able to capture much detail in the original proposal because the scale was too small, so I've been making them up as I paint.  I'm not working from any models either - they're basically imaginary composites.  

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Today we bring you another installment of Youth Media Movers and Shakers. We’ve culled through industry publications looking for the recent executive placements we think you should know about. If you have executive news that you want us to... Read the rest of this post

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I've been thinking about how we writers use words, and what those words memorable. What fixes a passage, or a character, in a reader's mind?

I've decided it comes down to details and generalities, and that there is a place for both of them in a book. A need for both of them.

Details bring life to a scene, but maybe it is the generalities in a scene that connect it to the reader's life. Connection. That's what it all comes down to, isn't it? The ability to cut right through the crap of verbs and nouns and the occasional shining adjective and show with piercing clarity a problem, or a thought the reader had on the edge of her tongue or in that place that Kipling called the back kitchen of consciousness.

Consider these opening passages:

"My small Southern hometown is beautiful in the haunting way an aging debutante is beautiful. The bones are exquisite, but the skin could use a lift. You could say my brother, the architect, is Ivy Spring's plastic surgeon.


I shuffled through a relentless late-summer downpour toward on eof his renovation projects... our home. I couldn't care less about the weather. I was in no hurry. My brother might know what to do with feng shui and flying buttresses and other architectural things, but with me? He had no clue."

"The other ship hung in the sky like a pendant, silver in the ether light cast by the nebula. Waverly and Kieran, lying together on their mattress of hay bales, took turns peering at it through a spyglass. They knew it was a companion vessel to theirs, but out here, in the vastness of space, it could have been as tiny as a OneMan or as immense as a star--there were no points of reference."


"Good girls don't walk with boys. Even good boys--and Zenn is the best. He strolled next to me, all military with his hands clasped behind his back, wearing the black uniform of a Forces recruit. The green stripes on his shirtsleeves flashed with silver tech lights, probably recording everything. Who am I kidding? Those damn stripes were definitely recording everything."

"It starts with a crack, a sputter, and a spark. The match hisses to life.


'Please,' comes the small voice behind me.


'It's late, Wren,' I say. The fire chews on the wooden stem in my hand. I touch the match to each of the three candles gathered on the low chest by the window. 'It's time for bed.'


With the candles all lit, I shake the match and the flame dies, leaving a trail of smoke that curls up against the darkened glass."



What do these passages have in common? Metaphors. Similes. Images painted in words. Detail that lends authority. We have a very specific view into each of these worlds, not a with a generic town, or a generic boy, or even a generic match. The specificity in each of these openings lets us trust the narrator. We know immediately that we're in good hands, preparing to hear the truth rolling out in the guise of fiction, and--perhaps most importantly--that we've never heard truth, this truth, stated in quite this way.
Look at these:
"Aunt Prue was holding one of the squirrels in her

Lesli Muir Lytle said, on 9/5/2011 10:27:00 PM

Great kick in the pants!
(Now I'm going to have to read Beautiful Creatures again to see where I missed that one.)

Thanks!

Lester D. Crawford said, on 9/5/2011 10:59:00 PM

This interesting topic has caused me to pause and consider what I write that reflects the concept (I think). The following passage I wrote a few hours ago is structured in a fashion that allows the reader initially to visualize someone needing to have his hair brushed. It then moves into a description that implies the protagonist is responsible for doing the brushing and that he intends to do the brushing as best as he can. However, the kicker is that this is part of a brushing ritual. The passage moves from generalization to specifics, I hope leading the reader to have an image in their minds of a brushing about to occur, and then to ask, "Where are we that they have a brushing ritual?"

The problem is that without having readers tell me how they reacted, I will never know if I achieved my goal.

"If not brushed regularly, and properly, the Risirid began to look shabby. I did not want Broechi to look less than his best because I did a poor job; always I strived to leave my brushing ritual partner with a perfect coiffure."
~ Lester D. Crawford, The Dragon Universe

Natalie Aguirre said, on 9/6/2011 3:28:00 AM

You picked great examples. I need to focus on these details more in my own writing. Thanks.

Kenda Turner said, on 9/6/2011 6:38:00 AM

I especially liked the examples of universal truths found in the narrative--I'll be looking for more of these in my readings. Thanks :-)

salarsenッ said, on 9/6/2011 7:02:00 AM

Best quote: Details bring life to a scene, but maybe it's the generalities that connect it to the reader's life.

Carol Riggs said, on 9/6/2011 4:05:00 PM

Thanks so much for the fresh wow of quotes! It makes me want to go off and fiddle with my opening lines again now, ha. ;o) Great article, great examples.

Andrea Mack said, on 9/7/2011 4:03:00 AM

This is an interesting perspective, Martina. I'm glad I found this post!

Adventures in Children's Publishing said, on 9/8/2011 7:12:00 AM

Thanks so much, everyone. Aren't these amazing quotes? There is so much great YA lit out there.

Lesli, there are so many great lines in that book, aren't there?

Lester, that technique could certainly work, I imagine, but it really depends on how you've set up your character and your world. Voice is in the details, right? :D

Sheri (((hugs)))! So good to have you back from your summer!

Carol, this stuff is always so humbling, isn't it? Just when I think I might have my opening right, I read something great and rethink. For me, that's the best thing about the connection between reading and writing. I can read great stuff and call it work :D

Martina

Ghenet Myrthil said, on 9/8/2011 12:23:00 PM

These are fantastic examples!

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