So if you are ALSO there, you should say hello.
See this year's list of films here!
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...rounded up by the folks at the National Coalition Against Censorship.
And, hey, Judy Blume shares a birthday with my mother: So happy birthday to you both!
(ETA: The above makes the THIRD time I've wished my mother a happy birthday today. WHEW.)
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From the Guardian:
Children's writers relish using language well; of course they do, that is an essential tool of their work. Spelling, punctuation, regular and irregular verbs and everything else about grammar underpin all that they do. (It is odd that anyone thinks it doesn't.)
None of my elementary schooling involved diagramming sentences or anything of the like. That I remember, anyway. I do remember, though, very clearly, that in second grade, our classroom teacher made little grammar books* for each of us, and every time we did something NEW and DIFFERENT (and CORRECT) in an assignment, she would chronicle it in that book. (She was VERY LIBERAL with the foil stars, bless her.)
I also very clearly remember her astonishment when I used a serial comma without any sort of prompting—she asked me how I knew to use it, and all I could tell her was that "it looked right". But now, of course, I assume it must have come from reading.
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*The covers were made from wallpaper samples.
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I had surgery last Friday – my gallbladder removed. It’s not all that serious of a procedure, but it does immobilize you for several days and is uncomfortable and painful. Today is day 5 and I’m ever so grateful for the progress I made. I was basically on the couch, horizontal for the first 4 days, which in a weird way was good. It gave me time to think, regroup and plan. It inspired me to catch up on reading, toss old emails, delete unresponsive friends on Facebook and set some new business goals. But most importantly, it made me grateful for the times when I am feeling terrific, running the stairs, doing yoga, walking the dog, laughing and enjoying life. I was even grateful for being able to carry a laundry basket and put the clothing away, water my tomatoes and dust the living room.
It also made me realize that small setbacks are often just what we need to slow down and recharge ourselves. What are you grateful for?
We are now the proud owners of this:
TSR + romance + Choose Your Own Adventure = AMAZING*.
I did dramatic readings from it all the way home.
________________________________________
*Well, amazingly BAD, but amazing nonetheless.
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Apologies for the radio silence: the new semester has begun, the students are back, and my last couple of days have been all about paper jams and showing new patrons the joys of Overdrive, Stat!Ref, Noodlebib, and every other online resource with a compound word for a name.
While you're holding your breath and waiting for my return to regular posting, feel free to peruse this NYT article about 'attack reviews' in the Amazon review system. (Or not. I mean, really, the only surprising thing about the article is that the topic hasn't been covered before. Or maybe it has. I don't know. Oh, look, a paper jam. Gotta go!)
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Anyone who has a dog knows how it works: You walk the dog. On a leash. The dog behaves perfectly. That's how it is on television shows all the time. A happy PEOPLE SEXIEST MOVIE STAR couple walk a perfectly behaved CANINE FANCY MOST ADORABLE dog down a beach. Unless, it is a comedy. In a comedy, leashes get tangled and doggies defecate in random naughty and hilariously funny places like the president's shoe or something
My life has always been a comedy. I think that's just the truth of it. If I walk the dog, the dog will defecate on top of a fire hydrant or in front of a police car. If I go to the grocery store, my skirt will fall down or something in front of everyone and reveal my Scooby Doo underwear. (I only wear Scooby on Wednesdays. Captain America is Tuesday so I'm totally safe to go to the store today).
The comedy is my own fault really and it started early. When I was little and all my s's sloshed around in my mouth so badly that everyone teased me, I taught myself how to speak. How? By listening to Muppets on Sesame Street. Yes, i was the only first grader at Bedford's Memorial School who modeled her speech patterns after Grover. It explains a lot, really. You can't have an epic life or a drama life when you chose to talk like Grover
"Carrie," one of the other second graders said after I can back from my self-imposed second grade speech program. "You sound weird."
"Yeah," someone else added, drawing on their desk with crayon, "you sound super goofy."
This hasn't changed. My voice still sounds like a Muppet, and today because I couldn't find my pants, I walked the big, fluffy, white dog outside at 7 am wearing snowman pajama bottoms and a giant parka that was layered over a monster Irish fisherman's sweater, a Vermont College of Fine Arts sweatshirt, and a t-shirt. It's cold! Really. It's really, really cold.
And I had just been thinking about how crazy I must look when two police officers in a patrol car drove by. I wondered if I could hide behind a dead lilac bush and then....
They waved.
I was like, "Hm. That's just two people that saw me, right? I am totally good and safe"
When I got back home, one of my neighbors sent me a message on Facebook. She said she thought about cat calling when she saw me this morning, but she didn't want me to fall down and get hurt, which was kind of her because then the ambulance guys would have seen me too.
All I could think when I read it was, "YAY! She didn't see me fall down."
Because I had already fallen down on the ice. Twice.
But that doesn't make my life a tragedy (not yet at least) because the truth is that we all fall down sometimes. We make mistakes like wearing our snowman pajamas out to walk the dog, or modeling our voice after Sesame Street characters or putting gerbil love affairs in our necromancer novel, but that's okay! Because a lot of time there is a humor and a smile and joy in those mistakes, right? Plus, we can always revise. I will take the gerbil love affair out of my necromancer novel and tomorrow I might actually find warm pants for when I walk the dog.
Please say, 'right.' If you don't it makes my whole life theory all sort of fall apart.
So, I hope you find comedy in your day and remember to wave back at the flabbergasted cops when they drive by. It's only polite.
Ask anyone who has created something original – written a song, penned a book, acted out a part, designed a new product – and they will all tell you just how much they’ve been critiqued, criticized and essentially torn apart by one person or another. This holds true for everyone, from the most successful people to the least.
I’ve experienced criticism in many ways as a children’s book author, blogger and writer. Most of it has been positive, but some of it has been downright cruel, almost comical in a sense.I wrote and illustrated a book, recorded it on CD, have spoken to thousands of children and even sewed my own costumes.
Once, a miserable old schoolmarm actually took the time to write and mail me a nasty letter disputing something in my book. Another woman critiqued my awesome librarian writing contest, that attracted tens of thousands of views because in one of the winning entries, there was an overlooked typo. There were 43 long essays, and one typo that was created during the layout and posting process. The email from this reader stated, “I thought I would thoroughly enjoy reading what my fellow librarians wrote, but as soon as I saw that typo, I was completely turned off and would never read any of those unprofessional essays from a publisher like you who posts errors.” This was my response to her:
“Thank you for pointing out the typo. There’s really no excuse for our error. While we strive for perfection here, we have yet to figure out how to achieve it each and every day. It is a shame you are choosing not to read these exceptional essays. The entrants really took a risk by putting themselves out there, expressing their feelings and taking the time to write and rewrite, knowing they’d be evaluated by judges and readers. Where is your essay?”
The cliche, “No risk. No return” surely holds true for whatever you do. It takes courage and confidence to live through criticism and process it in ways that are constructive rather than destructive. So if you are thinking about creating something original, and you should, work on your resilience to take criticism. You’re going to need it.



You know: OMG, I'M SO FULL I'M GOING TO DIE, OH LOOK, I NEED TO EAT THAT TOO.
I am so happy.
Now I just need to figure out how to pronounce it.
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HE’S OKAY! (Grandma!)
But yes, Jazz rear-ended someone yesterday. Yes. It was his fault.
I had no idea. nobody called me.
Hmm …
I came home from work yesterday, pulled into the garage (because I’m spoiled and get to park in the garage whereas all three of my guys have to park outside Heh), and noticed someone had thrown a Sonic cup out of their window and it was lying in our ditch. Since I’m a good neighbor *cough-as-opposed-to-our-slobs-for-neighbors-cough*, I took the time to pick it up. As I’m walking back into the house, I see it …
What. The. Hell?!?
I walked over to his car and just sort of stared at it. I blinked, then blinked again.
Yep. Jazz’s car was munched up.
I kept my cool mainly because I was in shock. You always think this is a possibility in the back of your mind, but you don’t really think it’ll happen to you … until it does.
I walked into the house and hunted Jazz down. He was on his bed, with his pillow pulled over his head. He wasn’t crying, but I could tell he was close.
“So. Tell me what happened.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” came a muffled voice from under the pillow.
“Tough. Sit up and tell me what happened,” was my sympathetic answer. I’m like the most mean mom, ever.
Apparently, Jazz left school and was on his way to Kevin’s office to help out when he looked down, just for a second (that’s all it takes!) to make sure he had gotten his name badge. When he looked up, BAM, he hit the SUV in front of him.
And it was loaded down with other students, from his school. Awkward! (Though he didn’t know them).
Jazz called Kevin and when Kevin found out no one was hurt, told him to call the police. Kevin sort of had a work emergency and couldn’t leave so Jazz called the police, waited for him to show up, got his ticket (because it was his fault), then drove (because thankfully, the car still drives and the air bag didn’t deploy which leads me to believe he wasn’t driving that fast, thank God) to Kevin’s office.
Jazz will have to go to court February 25th – Kevin will be able to go with him.
That should be an experience.
I was a little miffed that no one called me, but at the same time, I was relieved. Because really, what could I do? No one was hurt. The police were called. All I would have done was make the situation worse by coddling him.
Welcome to the real world. (Though I did tell Jazz that if that EVER happens again and he IS hurt, CALL ME!)
Kevin called our insurance today and the insurance adjuster wants to talk to Jazz to hear his side of the story. I have no idea what will come of that. We only have liability on the car and there is no way it’s totalled so … ??
I just hope the guy he hit doesn’t cause us any problems. Jazz said that his car was only dented, but then again, that’s what he said about his car too.
As you can see from above, it’s a little more than a “dent.”
Insurance will go up, of course. But that’s par for the course, I suppose. Kevin has already told him that the money he would have been making helping him at the office will go toward repairing the car. I have no idea how long that will last, I’m leaving that part up to Kevin, but Jazz is pretty bummed – he was hoping to save for a new computer.
We have no intention of getting it fixed any time soon. One – we don’t have time to be without the car – Jazz needs it for school and no one has time to run him around town right now. And two – Kevin wants him to drive it around as a reminder to BE CAREFUL.
At least the air bag didn’t deploy – then we’d have to total it because the cost to replace an air bag would have cost more than the car is worth. We’ll see how much it’s going to cost us to replace the hood and grill .. that will be enough to hopefully resell it someday, I suppose.
Neither Kevin nor I freaked out about this – I mean, it’s a done deal, there’s not much left over to get freaked out about. As I told Jazz, “it’s only a car.” The most important thing is, he was wearing his seat belt, he wasn’t hurt, and no one was hurt in the other car, either.
God was watching out for him because it could have been so much worse.
In some ways, I’m sort of glad this happened. I’ve never had to worry about Dude’s driving, he’s a good driver and he’s very aware of his surroundings, but Jazz is cut from a different cloth. He’s sort of in his own world most of the time and yesterday, he got a healthy dose of reality.
I just wish his reality check hadn’t cost us so much money.
Um. I never shoplifted, actually.
I'm one of those revoltingly honest Marge Simpson types. ("And two grapes!")
So, you know: I'm boring.
But click on through to The Awl for confessions from some of the biggest names in YA lit.
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Resolutions.
Bah. And humbug.
Who keeps them anymore? Making them seems like such a waste of time, especially since it takes me about two weeks to fully break them. But writing something down does keep me somewhat accountable so I’ll take the lazy way out and simply copy/paste the same goals I had set for myself last year. Because my goals never really change, the journey does.
Manage my energy levels. Which is really a round-about way of telling you I need to exercise. (I know – wash, repeat – BORING). Now that I’m working full-time, I must, must, MUST maintain my energy levels. My new job (I’m a scheduler for eight neurosurgeons – I know, you’re impressed, stop denying it), is mentally EXHAUSTING. It doesn’t SOUND like it would be exhausting – how hard is it to schedule appointments?? But. BUT. It’s so much more than that. It’s making referrals, it’s pre-certing tests with insurance companies, it’s answering calls from patients, it’s answering flags (requests) from nurses … well, you get the idea.
So, I’m tired. All. The. Freaking. Time. My body is breaking down. Day. By. Day. Since I sit all day, every day, my body has grown stiff and unused. Body parts are creaking, popping and groaning and I know it’s mainly because I’ve been physically inactive. Sure. Some of it is age, but most of it is because I’m not USING it.
Use it or lose it.
The thing is, I LIKE to exercise. I know. That makes me even MORE weird, but there you go – I like to sweat. As long as I’m in a position TO sweat (pre-shower, dirty hair, no where to go, time to get cleaned up), I’m COOL with the whole notion of abusing my body. I like how it makes me feel. I like what it does to my body. My problem is, finding the time to devote to it. Because if I’m going to do this, it has to be done right. If I’m going to exercise, then I want to EXERCISE. I don’t take the half-ass route, I’m in it to get results. Because if I’m going to devote the time to do something, then damn it, it BETTER pay off.
I ordered Zumba Fitness 2 for the Wii last year and used it precisely three times. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it … okay fine, I didn’t like it. I almost feel guilty confessing that to you because Zumba seems to be so popular nowadays (I actually work with a Zumba instructor and her “RAH RAH GO ZUMBA” enthusiasm is well … annoying). And it went beyond the awkward I have no idea what I’m doing phase, I just didn’t feel like I was getting anything out of it. *Braces for the Zumba fan screams* For me, personally, I like the treadmill. I like swinging my arms in the most unattractive way, while holding hand weights, and walking at speeds just beyond my physical capabilities. I like the fast, unforgiving, monotonous pace and the fact that I have to wipe the treadmill down afterward. I also like watching “my shows” on Netflix because it takes my mind off the fact that my heart is in my throat, my lungs are bursting at the vessels and I can’t quite keep up with myself.
And that’s the key to a successful workout program, my friends. KNOWING YOURSELF. Find something that you can enjoy, or at the very least, tolerate. Do you like the water? Then do some aqua therapy. (I’ve heard good things about aqua therapy from our patients). Do you like to dance? Try Zumba. Do you like to walk? Invest in a treadmill and watch your favorite programs while walking.
In other words? Try different things and find out what works for you. THEN? Reward yourself whenever you meet a personal goal. It’ll give you something to work toward. As I tell Dude, ALL THE TIME, humans need goals. They need something to work toward. Otherwise, we get fat and lazy. Both figuratively and literally.
So. Improve energy level. Check.
Write. OH MY GOSH. I haven’t written one word of fiction – save for the occasional 100-word challenge. The problem is? It takes MENTAL ENERGY to write. And MENTAL ENERGY is something I don’t have a lot of right now. (See above point). How do you squeeze more juice from an already dry and withered tomato??
Exactly. You don’t. So I need to find a way of re-hydrating that tomato. I need to find a way to replenish my mental reserves, reach deep down into that reservoir that I KNOW has to be there somewhere and coax those creative juices to the top.
I thought I could get up early and write, but honestly people, I’m not a morning person. It takes me a full thirty minutes to function, let alone form a complete sentence. I honestly sit in front of my computer, from 6:00 a.m. to 6:30, catching up on Facebook, checking my Google Reader and updating school websites. Then it’s time to get into the shower and spend the next hour making myself look presentable for work.
Mornings will not work for me.
So that leaves the weekends. When I have chores and family obligations (and Kevin demands a little attention – spouses are funny like that), so I don’t have a lot of “awake” time to actually get any writing done on the weekends, either. I want to write, I need to write, I just haven’t figured when to write yet.
It’s an ongoing problem, but one I haven’t given up on … yet.
Take more pictures. I really enjoy reading blogs where they take pictures of small, everyday things. Because life is not only about the big things, it’s about the small things, too. I want to start a habit of reaching for my camera at every turn.
And now, in today’s technological age, it’s easier than ever to take pictures anytime and anywhere. There are portable cameras, and phone cameras, and phone video cameras, and all kinds of cool filters to make your crappy pictures look better … there’s really NOT an excuse NOT to take more pictures when the tools are so easily accessible.
I’d love to post a picture a day, and I tried the post-a-picture-a-day challenge a few years back but honestly? I don’t see the beauty in everyday things. I wish I did. I try to see it, but beauty has to slap me upside the head to get my attention sometimes, or it has to be AN EVENT for it to register with me that, “OH. I should take pictures of this.”
But I’m going to try. I’m really going to try to take more pictures of things around me. Now that I’m on Instagram, (I know, I fought Instagram for years and well, here I am conforming to the masses), it’s FUN to take photos and instantly post them. My problem is, my life is so mundane and monotonous that I just don’t see the point of taking pictures of the same things over and over and over again. (There are only so many cattle and Basset Hound pictures a person can take in a week/month/year. And yes, I’m referring to The Pioneer Woman, but don’t yell at me, I ADORE her, I just get so sick of the same stuff over and over and over again …)
And my boys? Are men. And they don’t exactly appreciate my snapping pictures of every little thing they do (which isn’t much since they’re chained to their computers all day) and exposing their private lives to the hundred or so people who read my blog every day.
And work. Well. It’s work. It’s taboo territory. ESPECIALLY since I work in healthcare and privacy issues rule the land.
So my subject matter is severely limited on any given day. But I’ll try. For you. And because if I don’t train myself to stop and enjoy the small stuff, I will wake up old(er) one day and mourn the passing of time.
Travel. Which seems impossible since Kevin and I both work full time. But I earn some pretty awesome time off hours through my job and Kevin is self-employed, which equals flexibility, and I don’t want to grow old and look back on my life and say, “Wow. I really worked way too much and didn’t experience life NEARLY enough.”
You know? I’m sure ya’ll can relate.
And all work and no play is such a BORING way to live one’s life. In my opinion. Traveling gives me a point of reference, it gives me a goal, something to work toward, and look forward to, so that the mindless, stressful, every day stuff all seems … worth it somehow.
And traveling is not really all that expensive for us since we earn frequent flyer miles through American Airlines. We charge all of our bills, pay the balance off every month and collect points, which we cash in and use whenever we go on our trips. So our flight, to wherever, usually only costs us the check-in baggage and taxes.
We can’t forget the taxes. *snort*
And now it’s January. Which is the month that Kevin and I start planning where we want to go for our vacation. We’ll probably go on another cruise, to Alaska, if I get my way. Because we LOVE cruises. It’s not as expensive as you might think, especially when you take all of the “extras” into consideration – ports, food, etc), but I’d also like to take some long weekends, like just me and Kevin. The boys … are getting older and don’t seem as excited about taking vacations with us anymore. I mean, they’re 19 and 16 – would YOU want to hang out with your parents for a solid week at that age??
Exactly.
And taking long weekends to a few places might be more fun than taking a solid week to cruise somewhere. At the very least, it’s different. I’d like to go back to Washington D.C, back to New York, Seattle, the Colorado Rockies (would LOVE to rent a cabin in the mountains and explore the hiking trails), Phoenix, Las Vegas …
At any rate, we’ll end up doing something, I’m just not sure what yet. And I’m excited. Because I look forward to these trips every year. (See? Working toward goal equals a happy human).
And I think I’ll stop there. Because really, isn’t that enough?
So my mom did something fun this year – instead of giving the boys an envelope with money, she put the money in a plastic stocking ornament thingie and hung it on their tree. The boys then had to hunt for their stocking.
(I’m asking mom how old I am in this picture):
Also. The boys are wearing the skull caps that mom made them.
Mom also made me some fingerless gloves – the girls at work are going to be jealous. Our hands get really cold!
Or, rather, to MY LIVING ROOM.
Bookshelves specifically for mass market paperbacks:
Also, despite the best efforts of Lemon, I finally finished that beastly jigsaw puzzle:
Sorry the pictures are so dark. I apparently HAVE ISSUES when it comes to using the correct settings on the camera.
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These are not action shots, by the way. SHE JUST LIES AROUND LIKE THIS:
Oh, walnut brain. I do love you.
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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 5,000 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 8 years to get that many views.
Click here to see the complete report.
So we had a good time at Kevin’s family last night.
Kevin’s mom made brisket and we brought (bought) a honey-baked ham. *drool*
There were about twenty people there.
After we ate, we cleared out the tables to make room for the gag gift exchange game.
WARNING: We really get into this game. You might want to turn your speakers down.
Here we are, sitting around and waiting to begin. It’s that period of time when you all sort of sit around and stare at each other.
Awkward.
The smorgasbord of gag gifts to choose from.
My sister-in-law and her crazy family – never a dull moment with those peeps around.
My other sister-in-law has just picked her gift (I can’t remember what it was) and my niece’s husband (the dark-headed guy sitting on the love seat) breaks out into song after someone else asks where the “pooping moose” is this year.
That kid cracks me up.
And the story behind the pooping moose – it was a gag gift that first made it’s rounds in 2005.
TWO THOUSAND AND FIVE!!!!
We got it one year and it spent several years in our garage. Then it resurfaced, and my sister-in-law’s family got it; it spent some time in their garage and then resurfaced.
So this chocolate moose has been passed around for seven years and you can imagine how gross it’s getting. I’m not sure if we’ll continue the tradition next year or what, but I’m pretty sure we’re going to re-gift the gag gift that Jazz received this year – a bobble-head Yoda wearing a Santa hat. haha!
Another popular gag gift this year was the “Forever Lazy.” It’s basically a snuggie with feet and a button-down bottom. One of my nephews was the lucky winner of that one and had to model it for everyone.
We ended the night with another one of my nephews picking one of our gag gifts – a set of five presidential Pez containers.
It was a really fun night. Kevin’s family is always a lot of fun and I’m blessed to be part of such a great family.
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 5,000 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 8 years to get that many views.
Click here to see the complete report.
Well.... at least you didn't have to see him again! Someone is related to him!
Love the story and love even more that this wasn't about your husband. Lol. That is creepy! I will now look at plates with food still on them a little differently now. Please write stories of how you met Jeff, he had it easy, anyone after this happy plate guy is going up. Lol. Leslie
Seriously!?! He licked the bowl!!!
I can't believe you didn't bolt at that sight. Sure makes for some good chuckles now though. Too funny.
I've read about (and had) some pretty bad dates but this really takes the cake...or apple crisp.