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Viewing: Blog Posts Tagged with: drunk, Most Recent at Top [Help]
Results 1 - 12 of 12
1. Drunk. Aardvark with Dandelion Wine

An aardvark getting drunk on dandelion wine, 8.5 in. x 11 in., Copic markers and multiliners with digital background. For the complete story and a progress pics slideshow, visit The Slumbering Herd!

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2. Drunk

When people get drunk they tend to says things they'd later regret.
1.Bun girl: Do I look ok? I want to make a lasting impression.
2.Blonde girl (drank too much): Well you'd definitely make it to the worst dressed list of  2012!
3.Bun girl: excuse me! you're wicked!
4.Blonde girl (drank too much): oh c'mon! I was just joking...

*Laura Kay*

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3. Alcoholic Inmates Anonymous, Hotel Heists and Odd Animals

I’ve recently been going through the UK’s daily papers and finding one or two weird news items and giving you links to them but I’m now finding myself in a position where I can’t keep up with the weird and wonderful so I’m trying a change of tack and just give you a brief rundown of what I found intriguing or amusing!

Here’s my top four for today.

Image by Jim Linwood via Flickr

I was checking out the Daily Telegraph and came across something particularly odd.  It seems that, in order to try and keep swine ‘flu at bay in H M Prison The Verne in Dorset, the governor sanctioned the purchase of a goodly supply of anti-bacterial hand gel.  As soon as it was distributed amongst the prisoners apparently one of the inmates decided it’d be a good idea to drink it rather than shove it on his hands.  I’m not sure how much the prisoner actually drank but he became a tad tiddly and started a fight.  Before anyone knew it, there was a full blown behind bars brawl.  Oddly enough, the staff at the prison took away what remained of the hand gel, presumably considering it would be easier to deal with a swine ‘flu epidemic than an alcohol poison one!

It just begs the question, who was the prisoner who actually tried the hand gel in the first place?  I’m just wondering what I’ve got under the kitchen sink that I could try?  How about a Mr Muscle Margarita for starters?

The second news item that interested me was again from the Daily Telegraph.  It gave details of some of the strangest items that had been taken from hotel rooms.  Amongst those that caught my eye were a marble fireplace; a whole room – the contents were completely stripped; a mounted boar’s head; a hotel owner’s dog; a grand piano and a selection of sex toys. 

Once again, my brain went into overdrive, particularly when it came to the sex toys.  I can’t  imagine even using sex toys provided by a hotel let alone stealing them – you don’t know where they’ve been!!

Image via Wikipedia

My next story which was reported in several papers, relates to a tortoise that was found walking along the M25 motorway (freeway).  Thankfully, for once, most of the drivers were obviously keeping their eyes on the road and the tortoise was rescued by a tortoise loving driver who, having taken a little detour to the supermarket to pick up some lettuce and tomatoes for the traumatised turtle and then took him for a check up at the local vet where it was discovered that he was chipped so hopefully owners and family pet will soon be reunited.

Quite what the tortoise was doing on the M25 I have no idea.  Maybe, like many travellers before him, he couldn’t find the right junction off the circular motorway to reach home or another alternative could be that he’d been visiting The Verne Prison and had a drop too much of anti-bacterial hand gel!!!

And finally, what would you expect a badger to eat?  I’d always considered they spent their evenings rummaging around the woodlands looking out grubs, insects, worms and the odd mouse or two but it seems it’s now been discovered that the latest badger delicacy is hedgehog.  How can a badger who normally eats small and relatively ’smooth’ food cope with the prickles?  What motivates a badger to even consider tackling a hedgehog.  Maybe their lives are so mundane that they decided they wanted more of a challenge.  It’s a mystery to me but I’m sure that some night wildlife watcher will come up with a bit of video footage to enlighten me!

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4. Alcoholic Inmates Anonymous, Hotel Heists and Odd Animals

I’ve recently been going through the UK’s daily papers and finding one or two weird news items and giving you links to them but I’m now finding myself in a position where I can’t keep up with the weird and wonderful so I’m trying a change of tack and just give you a brief rundown of what I found intriguing or amusing!

Here’s my top four for today.

Image by Jim Linwood via Flickr

I was checking out the Daily Telegraph and came across something particularly odd.  It seems that, in order to try and keep swine ‘flu at bay in H M Prison The Verne in Dorset, the governor sanctioned the purchase of a goodly supply of anti-bacterial hand gel.  As soon as it was distributed amongst the prisoners apparently one of the inmates decided it’d be a good idea to drink it rather than shove it on his hands.  I’m not sure how much the prisoner actually drank but he became a tad tiddly and started a fight.  Before anyone knew it, there was a full blown behind bars brawl.  Oddly enough, the staff at the prison took away what remained of the hand gel, presumably considering it would be easier to deal with a swine ‘flu epidemic than an alcohol poison one!

It just begs the question, who was the prisoner who actually tried the hand gel in the first place?  I’m just wondering what I’ve got under the kitchen sink that I could try?  How about a Mr Muscle Margarita for starters?

The second news item that interested me was again from the Daily Telegraph.  It gave details of some of the strangest items that had been taken from hotel rooms.  Amongst those that caught my eye were a marble fireplace; a whole room – the contents were completely stripped; a mounted boar’s head; a hotel owner’s dog; a grand piano and a selection of sex toys. 

Once again, my brain went into overdrive, particularly when it came to the sex toys.  I can’t  imagine even using sex toys provided by a hotel let alone stealing them – you don’t know where they’ve been!!

Image via Wikipedia

My next story which was reported in several papers, relates to a tortoise that was found walking along the M25 motorway (freeway).  Thankfully, for once, most of the drivers were obviously keeping their eyes on the road and the tortoise was rescued by a tortoise loving driver who, having taken a little detour to the supermarket to pick up some lettuce and tomatoes for the traumatised turtle and then took him for a check up at the local vet where it was discovered that he was chipped so hopefully owners and family pet will soon be reunited.

Quite what the tortoise was doing on the M25 I have no idea.  Maybe, like many travellers before him, he couldn’t find the right junction off the circular motorway to reach home or another alternative could be that he’d been visiting The Verne Prison and had a drop too much of anti-bacterial hand gel!!!

And finally, what would you expect a badger to eat?  I’d always considered they spent their evenings rummaging around the woodlands looking out grubs, insects, worms and the odd mouse or two but it seems it’s now been discovered that the latest badger delicacy is hedgehog.  How can a badger who normally eats small and relatively ’smooth’ food cope with the prickles?  What motivates a badger to even consider tackling a hedgehog.  Maybe their lives are so mundane that they decided they wanted more of a challenge.  It’s a mystery to me but I’m sure that some night wildlife watcher will come up with a bit of video footage to enlighten me!

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5. How You Know When You’re Drunk

How You Know When You’re Drunk

  • You’re under forty
  • You don’t usually consume a whole bottle of wine
  • You can’t wait for more than a minute
  • You continually apologise for the state you are in
  • It becomes harder to count out money to buy drinks
  • Other people start to mutter, “Don’t worry – they’re drunk”
  • Your laughter attains unnaturally high levels
  • It becomes difficult to concentrate for a sustained period of time
  • Your friends become a lot more likeable
  • Judgment becomes impaired and consequences cease to exist
  • Liquid seems to evaporate from your glass
  • People keep getting in your way
  • Unsavoury characters hallucinate that you’re interested in talking to them
  • You experience an overwhelming urge to gather roadside objects
  • You feel as if you may have eaten some bad takeaway
  • The nearest toilet is much too far away
  • Charm becomes a distant concept and the in-your-face tactics are all you can muster
  • Horrible words spill out of your mouth an alienate your former friends
  • You develop the ability to teleport and far-off places become adjacent to where you are
  • You know you’ll regret it in the morning but right now that’s not important
  • You really shouldn’t have done it but you did it anyway and now it’s too late

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6. Writers Have to Make Choices

In my critique group there are quite a few of us revising finished manuscripts.

It’s a thrilling process, revisiting your words and discovering that you can recharge a scene in ways you couldn’t imagine the last time you read the manuscript.

But it’s also a terrifying thing.

One little edit throws up a thousand edits. Injecting nuance to a previously two dimensional character might mean weeks of re-imagining all the scenes the character features in.

Suddenly the revision is not just a quick edit but a total rewrite.

One novelist friend wrote me in an email:

I’m doing really well. The only thing is it's getting so I’m afraid I’m going to have to rewrite the whole novel!
What to do?

I found the answer when I was half-watching a movie in the wee hours while contemplating my manuscript.

The film was Wonder Boys (2000), featuring Michael Douglas (pictured) as former award-winning novelist Grady Tripp who we are led to believe is suffering from writer’s block. Except he isn’t. The real problem is that he can’t stop writing – and the script has hit an unpublishable 2,000 plus single-spaced pages. His creative writing student Hannah (played by Katie Holmes) reads the tome and delivers the following critique:
Grady, you know how in class you are always telling us that writers make choices? And even though your book is really beautiful, I mean amazingly beautiful ... at times it’s ... uh ... very detailed. You know, the genaeologies of everybody’s horses and dental records and so on. And I could be wrong but it sort of reads in places like you didn’t make any choices. At all.
What to do?

Make choices.

You’ve decided to edit your book.

So do it.

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7. Rewriting Your Novel (Or Moving the Deck Chairs While the Titanic Sinks)


At the moment, my thoughts are on revision because I'm revising my two novels, Ugly City and Volcano Child.

Revising, revising, revising.

I've been working so hard I'm beginning to see double. Are those two laptops I see before me?

Justine
(Magic or Madness) has wise words about revising a novel in a long, special post:

There are two basic kinds of rewriting: structural and sentence level. Most beginner writers get caught up in sentence level changes. They go over their manuscripts deleting and switching words around (what’s called line editing in the biz). They do this before they’ve learned how to fix the structure. The result is lots of shifting around of deck chairs while the Titanic sinks.
Maureen (Devilish) spiced up her blog post on rewriting with plenty of pictures of Cary Grant. She says:

It’s a good thing that the Writer doesn’t design houses—because he would move the kitchen around seventeen times, rip out all the bathrooms, add six more stories, and set fire to the roof.
Unfortunately she fails to answer a burning question: where does she get all those pictures of Cary Grant?

Scott Westerfeld (Scott is Justine's squeeze. The YA universe is a cozy one) has an even more alarming blog post on rewriting a novel (this one was Extras).

Apparently he had to face up to the fact that his ms wasn't working:
there I was, 16,000 words (65 pages) into my shiny wonderful new book. Except it wasn’t wonderful; something was deeply, deeply wrong. The voice, the plot, the structure all seemed to be sucking! No matter how much I edited the writing, smoothed the transitions, caffeinated the plot, or voicified the characters, it all just came out flat.
In the end he threw out most of it and completely rewrote it from scratch.

Which brings us to Scott's ultimate rewriting advice:
Sometimes tossing out vast quantities of words is better than letting a whole book bleed slowly to death. Don’t give up, just start over.
Could you bear to do it?

5 Comments on Rewriting Your Novel (Or Moving the Deck Chairs While the Titanic Sinks), last added: 1/15/2008
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8. Another rewriting question

Herenya asked:

One question on rewriting, about when you rewrite. I’ve read things which say you shouldn’t mix writing and rewriting. Write it all first, then rewrite it. I can understand that “creative” and “analytical” hats can be conflicting and that sometimes one has to just write crap first before improving upon it (which is difficult if you’re thinking critically), but I generally find I bounce back and forth between rewriting previous sections and writing more. Is this such a terrible thing to do?

If mixing rewriting and writing works for you then go for it!1

My partner, Scott, spends the first few hours of his writing day rewriting the previous three days work. Once he’s got that under control, and only then, does he move onto fresh writing.

Me, I rewrite (while writing the first draft) only if I’m a stuck on the next bit. On the mornings when I wake up and know exactly what needs to happen next, I dive into it. On the mornings I don’t, I procrastinate endlessly rewrite or go back and fill in the blanks where I have notes to myself like [something should explode here] or [figure out where this conversation’s happening] or [what happened to the quokkas?].

For a lot of writers the difference between the “writing” and the “rewriting” can be blurry. If you work according to Scott’s method then your finished first draft is more like a third or fourth draft because every section has been gone over at least three times. You work according to mine then you’ve got lots of actual first draft but also some second, third, fourth, or whatever.

I know some writers who really don’t read over any of what they’ve written until they’ve got a whole draft, but I suspect they’re rare. I know of one writer who burns2 that first draft and then starts over from scratch. Some writers have gone over their work so many times by the time their “first” draft is finished they don’t need to “rewrite” at all, they’re done.

That’s one of the brilliant things about the intramanets: all the writers’ blogs and essays and interviews online means it’s dead easy to see just how widely varied writing practice is and how contradictory all the gobbets of writing advice.

Whatever works for you is the way to re/write.

Just remember that can change from story to story and from day to day. Sometimes Raymond Chandler’s advice of hanging out in the one room and not having to write, but not being allowed to do anything but write will be just the ticket. Frankly, it’s never worked for me unless I have a heinous deadline and the room I’m in has no intramanets or books or telephone or packs of cards or, well, you get the idea.

  1. As a general rule be suspicious of all writing rules.
  2. figuratively speaking

8 Comments on Another rewriting question, last added: 1/8/2008
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9. How to rewrite

I get a lot of beginning writers asking me how to rewrite. This post is aimed squarely at them: the ones who are unsure how to fix a story they have written from beginning to end. Which is my way of saying that any experienced writer is going to find what I am about to say obvious, boring, and un-useful. You folks should go read Samuel R. Delany’s About Writing or, you know, get back to work.

(It’s also a really LONG post. Hence the cut.)

“How can I learn to rewrite?” is an incredibly hard question to answer. It’s sort of like asking a pro tennis player (or coach): “How do I improve my tennis?”

(more…)

56 Comments on How to rewrite, last added: 1/9/2008
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10. Another Week

I seem to have missed the Friday post I promised, but really had nothing to report. We had Thanksgiving yesterday, so Thursday we spent a leisurely day on the golf course, and then cooked steak on the grill for dinner to celebrate our 43rd anniversary that we DIDN'T get to celebrate last Wednesday. I even had one of my better rounds, breaking ninety, which is a very infrequent thing for me.

Am still working on rewrites...got stuck for a day or so this week, because I couldn't make up my mind if I want to stick with the first version, or to go in another direction completely, which will involve writing several new chapters and dumping the many of the old ones. A hard thing to do, especially when some of them are quite good--or maybe I should say I am quite attached to them, but they definitely would not fit into my 'new version.' I think I have decided to go in the new direction...it ties various parts together better, and cuts down on the great number of characters needed to send the MC from one environment to a totally different one. So progress is being made.

On Wednesday I had fun making a 'Thanksgiving craft' with my grandson, which started with going into the woods in search of brown pine cones. We found quite a few old weathered grey ones, but not too many brown ones, so it is a good thing I had some good ones from the craft store to back up our efforts. We made turkeys from pine cones and colored pipe cleaners, although O. insisted I call them by their correct name--chenille (whatever), which he read off the package. We stuck name tags on a post in each one to be used as place markers on Thanksgiving Day at his house. Today he was going to take one for show and tell at school. And now we can start on Christmas craft projects, since he likes to do a project each week.

I have just returned from our monthly Children's Writers' Club, where our presenter talked about the availability of grants for writers, and gave us several good websites for them...if anyone is interested in obtaining such a grant, let me know, and I'll send you the websites she gave us.

Have a good week, and have fun preparing for the holiday season.

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11. Moving Along

It is such a relief to have finally completed my WIP...but now the hard work begins... made easier, of course, by my awesome online critique group. One of the reason it took so long to write, is because I was not happy with the ending I had in mind. Finally, I wrote it anyway, and now I can see WHY I don't like it, and where the changes need to be made. It is so much clearer, once the whole story is down on paper.

So now I am in the middle of deleting whole chapters, writing new ones, and moving some chapters or parts of chapters around. I don't remember having to do that as much with my first book, but I guess every book is different, and I really knew what the first one was about from the beginning.

The other thing I have been doing is working with the speakers for our
Space Coast Writers' Guild's (SCWG) January conference. It's fun to write back and forth with all our speakers and get things set up...am really looking forward to the conference...AND to the SCBWI-FL conference, also in January, where I will be on the First Books panel.

Last, but not least, hubby and I are going on a trip to Germany for two and a half weeks in September, to visit my son and family who are there courtesy the US ARMY, and to see some of the surrounding countryside. We were there twelve years ago, and I could not get over some of the castles. 'This is a relatively new/young castle,' the guide says...'built in the 1300's.' Our whole COUNTRY isn't that old!

Oh, and I have a new release date for Knowing Joseph...in February.

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12. Editing...and editing again

Moving right along here...grandkids were in school all day, so had time to spend on the computer. I've already gone through my KNOWING JOSEPH MS once and made some corrections...nothing major--mostly commas and such. Then I decided I should go through it again, so that is what I am working on now.

It's amazing on how easy it is to miss something when reading the same thing for the umteenth time. This time I found a missing period at the end of a sentence. I wonder how many times I have proof-read that MS and missed it. Have found many more things the second time, too. Whenever I am reading a book, I tend to find one or two errors in it, and wonder how people can publish books with such obvious errors...now I know.

Of course, there are whole sections of the book I would like to change/improve, but I guess we are beyond that now. I wonder...when we write, are we EVER finished with revisions?

Everything else is going along relatively smoothly...it was an 'at home' day today because we were waiting for the movers to come and get some of the stuff that needs to be shipped to Germany first (my son is in the military), and then shopping for birthday cake and a few other incidentals for Matthew's birthday, then off to Karate for Jay and Speech for Matthew. Only a couple of meltdowns, which we all survived.

Tomorrow is a golf day again...and hopefully the end of the editing for the second time.

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