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Word of mouth generated by Eat Pray Love is that it’s a film you love to hate.  I had to see it.

In fact, all films are an education. See how the writer crafts a protagonist with a strong ‘object of desire’. See how she establishes the story’s central question. I recall Liz (Julia Roberts) lying on the floor beside her bed and saying to her lover, “I don’t know how to be here.” In that tell-all confession, the film finds its heart.

“How to be” is certainly a question worthy of being the story’s centre of gravity.  And knowing that the answer lies in acceptance of ‘what is’ doesn’t make the question any less profound. Despite warnings against obsessive “seeking after fact and reason” (see my last post), accepting ourselves “as is” is not something our minds are wired for. It would appear to be true what they say, that it’s easier to die than to accept ourselves as imperfect beings.

Yet, fictional protagonists (as a rule) rush headlong into such a crisis at the end of Act II—emerging like the butterfly from the cocoon to take the story to its triumphant conclusion. You’d think that fictional heroes were all infected with some kind of evolutionary impulse. (Indeed I do believe that.)

Liz’s escape to Italy-India-Bali in search of eating, praying, and loving with the passion of a Zorba (and/or the peace of a Buddha) would suggest that she, too, has surrendered to this strange upward gravity that characterizes a fictional hero’s ‘awakening’. She’s been trying hard to levitate, but (if you ask me) her enlightenment is a few lifetimes away. Even as the film ends—fresh from her final tete-a-tete with her toothless guru—we find her once again rushing headlong after the solace of meaning.

“Off-balance in love, this brings balance in whole life,” the teacher told her.

Liz is meant to accept the uncertainties that come with a relationship. But she doesn’t strike me as being wise enough to understand that the larger balance of which the guru speaks may concern the whole cosmos, not her puny life. Can she live with that? Can anyone? Can we accept that our own life may need to be off balance in order to serve the greater good?

That’s a tall order. On the human level, perhaps we can’t do better than Julia Roberts’ big fat gastro-religious pilgrimage. Eat pray love and then we die. Maybe it wasn’t such a pointless film after all.

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I know Brian Hedge via his work on the website Bradmouth. He’s a good writer and a funny dude. Last Monday, I wrote a review of the film Eat, Pray, Love. I mentioned that guys should see this movie, too, and Brian scoffed at this suggestion, saying no self-respecting MAN would see this movie. Then, he said he would write a review of Eat, Pray, Love, if I would post it on my blog. I adamantly agreed, because in order to write the review, he would actually have to pay for and sit through the entire movie. HA!

So without further ado, I present Brain Hedge’s review of Eat, Pray, Love, entitled …

Eat Pray Snooze

A good travel story needs conflict. It requires developed characters and harrowing adventure. It needs a quest, exotic locales, and a refreshing perspective. Without it, a journey across the globe to new and foreign lands becomes a never ending gauntlet of train stations, airports, hostels, churches, and museums. It becomes just as monotonous and boring as any life you are trying to escape.

An expert backpacker creates conflict. They get blackout drunk, pick fights in bars, show up at bus stations at 3 AM, trust complete strangers, and push the envelope of allowable activities. They are the types that tell their backpack stories as adventures. They go skydiving, visit prisons, experiment with legal drugs, hike in cocoa fields, and develop long lasting relationships in mere seconds. They take risks and of course have some epic failures (most of them involve robberies or gonorrhea), but they live. And when they tell a story about their travels (and their friends pay attention for more than 3 minutes), it can be very exciting.

Liz Gilbert of Eat, Pray, Love is a poor backpacker. She rarely leaves her comfort zone. She lives alone in the same accommodations for months at a time. She does not travel to other cities and cops out of activities like a fat girl eyeing the stairs. Each destination, whether it is Italy, India, or Bali just feels like a new car added to a slow moving train. There is no buildup. It is just Liz Gilbert walking through life, often times representing the least exciting thing in the scene (think plants).

Understandably (I have a Y chromosome … I think), I never read the book that this movie is based upon. As a rule, I do not read travel books. I find them embellished, self-righteous, and really boring. Eat, Pray, Love does not disappoint in that regard. It is all those things with a little bit of Ambien mixed in.

The first 45 minutes is Julia Roberts going through two breakups (one was more than enough), and then trying to convince all her friends that she has to leave for a whole year. (Just do it already. Why are you asking for permission?) Despite some cool scenes with Billy Crudup, this was not in any way enjoyable and I really wish studios would just ban drawn out divorces fro

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We only have one week left in August, people. ONE WEEK! Oh, the agony…

Here are some things that don’t make me sad.

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On. It might be the most delightful video I’ve ever seen. [Vimeo]

Dinner Party Download needs your help! Because “it’s not really public radio if you don’t beg your listeners for money.” [APM]

Ah, home… This Day in History: Record Setting Tow-Truck Parade Held in Washington State [History Channel]

I’m sure this was staged, but it is delightful. [YouTube]

Cute item of the week: Puffin. [Next Web]

Our colleagues at Oxford Fajar have a treat for you! [Save the Words]

Kindle vs. iPad close-up showdown [Wired]

It’s about time we had a Silly Bandz anthem! [Urlesque]

#EatPrayWhatever [Twitter]

This is one “epic” parking garage. [GalleyCat]

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The New York Times has a piece on Elizabeth Gilbert’s much-awaited follow-up to EAT, PRAY, LOVE. Her upcoming book is titled COMMITTED: A SKEPTIC MAKES PEACE WITH MARRIAGE and is due to be released in January by Viking.

According to the Times, “the book is a memoir of a tumultuous year that came 18 months after “Eat, Pray, Love” leaves off, as well as a meditation on wedlock.”

We will certainly keep you updated on this eagerly anticipated release.

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