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I was recently delighted to find myself a guest of a friend at Martha’s Vineyard this past Labor Day weekend. Not having been before I didn’t really know what to expect. On the whole my family and I found the weekend sublime and tasty, as lobsters are common there and very cheap to eat.

The home in which we stayed was a family cottage and there were several generations worth of books inside. While perusing the children’s section (where I found gems like 1980s Apple paperbacks of Mary Lee Hahn’s serious children’s novels without a ghost in sight) I ran across a little book of poetry called Parents Keep Out by Ogden Nash. From what I can tell it was published by Little, Brown and Company sometime around 1933 initially, though this particular edition was in its eleventh printing and was from 1951. Reading the Introduction feels like nothing so much as a dip into the world of Lemony Snicket. A sample:

“Since parents can’t keep out of anything, I resignedly address these words to them. Many parents will find that they have read some of the verses in previous book of mine. I shall not apologize. Anybody who has read previous books of mine is a trespasser in this one, which has been compiled for a younger generation. I do not regard it as a children’s book, however; I simply hope it is a book that anyone born less than fourteen or fifteen years ago many enjoy.”

It goes on to compare the speech that goes on between adults and children as akin to that of diplomats from foreign countries and says that if children like this book then “it is for the very reason that the Kremlin is gratified by any sign of the collapse of capitalism; watchful young eyes may here perceive indications of the breakup of the old people’s world.” What then follows are about 120 poems of varying lengths sporting titles like “Barmaids Are Diviner than Mermaids”, “The Passionate Pagan and the Dispassionate Public”, “Epstein, Spare that Yule Log!”, etc.

It was in my reading that I came across today’s thoroughly grand poem. One that shows that the more things change, the more things stay the same. Read it and try as you might not to think of Adam Gidwitz and his Grimm series. I dare you.

DON’T CRY, DARLING, IT’S BLOOD ALL RIGHT

Whenever poets want to give you the idea that something is particularly meek and mild,
They compare it to a child,
Thereby proving that though poets with poetry may be rife
They don’t know the facts of life.
If of compassion you desire either a tittle or a jot,
Don’t try to get it from a tot.
Hard-boiled, sophisticated adults like me and you
May enjoy ourselves thoroughly with Little Women and Winnie-the-Pooh,
But innocent infants these titles from their reading course eliminate
As soon as they discover that it was honey and nuts and mashed potatoes instead of human flesh that Winnie-the-Pooh and Little Women ate.
Innocent infants have no use for fables about rabbits or donkeys or tortoises or porpoises,
What they want is something with plenty of well-mutilated corpoises.
Not on legends of how the rose came to be a rose instead of a petunia is their fancy fed,
But on the inside story of how somebody’s bones got ground up to make somebody else’s
bread.
They go to sleep listening to the story of the little beggarmaid who got to be queen by
being kind to the bees and the birds,
But they’re all eyes and ears the minute they suspect a wolf or a giant is going to tear
some poor woodcutter into quarters and thirds.
It really doesn’t take much to fill their cup;
All they want is for somebody to be eaten up.
Therefore I say unto you, all you poets who are so crazy about meek and mild little
children and their angelic air,
If you are sincere and really want to please them, why just go out and get yourselves
devoured by a bear.

- Ogden Nash, Parents Keep Out

Today’s Poetry Friday is being hosted by Author Amok. Head on over there for the full round-up.

May I join you in the doghouse, Rover? I wish to retire till the party's over. Since three o'clock I've done my best To entertain each tiny guest. My conscience now I've left behind me, And if they want me, let them find me. I blew their bubbles, I sailed their boats, I kept them from each other's throats. I told them tales of magic lands, I took them out to wash their hands. I sorted their

#13 in an ongoing series of posts celebrating the alphabet.


photo by bitterbethany.

America's favorite humorist is 107 years old today!

Over the years, I've enjoyed his light verse and funny sayings, but only recently stumbled upon this abecedarian poem, first published in SPORT magazine in 1949. Nash was a baseball fanatic, especially loved Baltimore sports, and once said, "I think in terms of rhyme, and have since I was six years old."  

LINE-UP FOR YESTERDAY
AN ABC OF BASEBALL IMMORTALS
by Ogden Nash



A is for Alex
The great Alexander;
More Goose eggs he pitched
Than a popular gander.

B is for Bresnahan
Back of the plate;
The Cubs were his love,
and McGraw his hate.

C is for Cobb,
Who grew spikes and not corn,
And made all the basemen
Wish they weren't born.

(Read the rest here.)

I love this:

A girl who is bespectacled
She may not get her nectacled
But safety pins and bassinets
Await the girl who fassinets.

And I love a man in a baseball uniform (don't tell my in-laws, who are all Red Sox fans):
  
     photo by Keith Allison.

 Certified authentic alphabetica. Handmade just for you with love and a craving for battica in the attica.
 

DCist has a fascinating post about the relationship between martinis and vermouth. If you ever enjoy the most classic of cocktails, I highly recommend the read.

And, so, for Poetry Friday, I have a poem about martinis... I'll even invent the kidlit connection in that they drink a lot of martinis in the book I'm currently reading.


A Drink With Something In It

There is something about a Martini,
A tingle remarkably pleasant;
A yellow, a mellow Martini;
I wish I had one at present.
There is something about a Martini,
Ere the dining and dancing begin,
And to tell you the truth,
It is not the vermouth--
I think that perhaps it's the gin.

Ogden Nash

I hope everyone has a fabulous time at the kidlit conference happening this weekend. In my own backyard, the National Literary Festival is going on, which should be awesome. I had a great time last year and am bummed to miss this one, but I'm off to Raleigh in the morning to see some friends of mine get married. Very exciting. Now, I just have to figure out which books to bring for car reading. Hmmmmmm.

But, before then! Tonight's the Presidential Debate! I'm watching with some think tank people whom I suspect have different politics than mine, which will certainly be fun. We'll have to try the classic martini recipe posted in the article above!

Enjoy!

Thursday, April 17, marks the observance of the very first National Poem in Your Pocket Day, when poetry lovers are urged to put a copy of their favorite poem in their pocket and read it aloud to willing listeners–and listen to them read their favorite poems in turn.

Originating in New York City, Put a Poem in Your Pocket Day has been celebrated city-wide in April since 2002, sending New Yorkers to parks and bookstores to read poems aloud, with even the mayor reading a poem over the radio. This year it’s a nation-wide festival, a day to celebrate the pleasures of poetry.

It’s an exciting thought that across the United States, schools, libraries, workplaces, coffee shops and sidewalks could be filled with the sounds of people reading poems aloud. Children may find poems tucked in their lunch bags, waitstaff in restaurants may be handed a poem as well as a tip, and sidewalk chalk could turn a public playground into a bouquet of poetry.

A store in my neighborhood is giving away copies of a favorite poem for customers to put in their pockets on Thursday, and I’m happily choosing which poem I will read to my favorite four-year-old. It’s not an easy choice, but it’s so much fun searching for the one that will be just right. I’m almost certain that it will be Ogden Nash’s The Tale of Custard the Dragon, which has delighted small children of my acquaintance for decades–as it still does me.

Next year I plan to have a poetry party on April 17, with food inspired by sonnets and sestinas, lots of reading aloud, and ending it with tying poems to the strings of balloons, sending them aloft, and setting them free. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I can wait a whole year before doing that–poetry potluck, anyone?

It's hard not to smile out loud with some of Ogden Nash's witty poems. Some could almost be considered "poem-lets" because of their brevity. But there are lots to choose from.
Here are a few samples:

The Guppy

In honor of the start of National Poetry Month, and April Fool's Day, I give you Ogden Nash:

Reflection on Ingenuity

Here's a good rule of thumb;
Too clever is dumb.

In an effort to save more time for librarians, I have created this easy to use multiple choice donation form. Simply cut and paste the relevant pieces into your own letterhead, and you have an instant reply! [Date] Dear Donor, Thank you for your donation to our growing Library™. Please note that all materials donated to the library are now property of the Library™. Materials may be disposed

It can also help you:

• Formulate your ideas better
• Write better papers, emails and business letters
• Speak more precisely and persuasively
• Comprehend more of what you read
• Read faster because you comprehend better
• Get better grades in high school, college and graduate school
• Score higher on tests like the SAT, GRE, LSAT and GMAT
• Perform better at job interviews and conferences
• Sell yourself, your services, and your products better
• Be more effective and successful at your job

I'm chagrined to admit how late I was to the party with Robert's Snow: For Cancer's Cure. For those who don't know, it's a charitable event founded by children's author and illustrator Grace Lin in honor of her now late husband Robert. Basically, a bunch of children's book illustrators donate their artistic services to decorate a snowflake. The snowflakes are then auctioned off, with all proceeds benefitting the Jimmy Fund for sarcoma research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

I'd heard of the event, but didn't properly check it out until the last day of the auction. (I credit Fuse 8's clever marketing campaign for getting me off my virtual tuchis.) Anyway, better late than never, right? I managed to drive up the price on some snowflakes with my bids, and actually placed the winning bid on the adorable snowflake painted by Randy Cecil (click image at left for the close-up). I have but two regrets: that I didn't jump into the bidding earlier, and that I didn't plug the event before it ended! Next year, next year.

The holiday giving season is far from over, however! If you're still considering your charitable donations (good all year 'round, of course), you may want to check out Changing the Present, a nonprofit that directs your funds - however great or small - to the socially conscious cause of your choice. Some examples include funding opportunities and medical treatments for people in developing nations.

And let's not forget everyone's favorite, furry (or feathery) sustainable development nonprofit, Heifer Project. Rather than outright feeding recipients, Heifer gives livestock to be bred for wool, milk, eggs, and so on. Offspring are shared in the community, spreading the wealth. They do tree planting as well.

If you're like me and think the idea material gift for a loved one is a - you guessed it! - BOOK, check out these bloggish suggestions:

• Wizards Wireless discusses how to buy a book for a baby. Being at an age when babies seem to be cropping up in friends' families left and right, I'm grateful for the suggestions.
• MotherReader offers not one, not two, but THREE lists of ideas for pairing children's book with other items for an extra-special gift.

Some more tips for enjoying the holiday season:

• Musician Christine Kane's Functionally Challenged Family Holidays Official Self-Care Guide and Preparation Guide. It doesn't matter whether you're "functionally challenged" (though aren't we all?) to appreciate her wise advice. Via my friend C.
• 13 Tips for a Sustainable Holiday Season. In the flurry of holiday activity, take our Earth into consideration. Via my friend M.

Finally, take note: the Winter Solstice is but a week away. This means that in one week, the days will start getting longer again! I can't wait.

Author Katrina Lynne Burchett has been kind enough to donate some copies of her new novel, Choices for the Prize Bucket. Very relevant for today's teens, so go check it out!