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by Lauren
Looking up some contact information in our database, I was reminded of my very favorite thing about it: small notes, devoid of context, that give a strange glimpse into our conversations with editors. The stand out stars of the “notes” section of our contacts are surely that one editor has “three tiny kids” and another (whose name is not one you’d come across often) “is a GUY!” I like to imagine the shock and surprise of the assistant who’d picked up the phone to discover a deep, masculine voice attached to a name he or she had previously assumed belonged to a woman. (I also am not entirely certain that one wasn’t me, back when I was Jane’s assistant an alarmingly high number of years ago.) I also imagine the kindly editor who sat across from one of my colleagues at a lunch meeting and showed off pictures of her miniature children, perhaps posed next to objects of regular stature for comparison purposes. That note has been in there long enough that the tiny kids are probably not so tiny any more.
Most of the notes, though, are actually quite useful
—such and such a person is obsessed with dogs or used to be a ballet dancer or absolutely cannot stand misery memoirs. When we submit our projects, we’re working not only on the parameters of a publisher’s and editor's list and our personal interactions with them, but with the company’s collective knowledge of what makes them tick and gets them excited. Excitement is the huge intangible of the publishing process. And when we just happen to have a book about dogs or dance or misery, we know where to go
—or where not to.
For authors looking for agents, I suspect the best resources out there are the blogs and websites and Twitter feeds and what have you of the agents themselves. We do suffer sometimes from too many queries quoting our own bios back to us, sending us things that are far off base because they might have a common keyword. I think all the agents who’ve been here a while have at one point or another edited a reference out of our descriptions of ourselves or our lists, because we found it led too many people down the wrong path. But more often than not, these little factoids about us and our interests point people the right way. While we do share queries amongst ourselves and know each other’s taste well, it’s always nice to look at a batch of newly arrived queries and see that several of them are on a subject that we’re already really enthusiastic about
—it doesn’t guarantee success, of course, but a book on a subject that usually bores us has to be that much more amazing to even catch our eye. Much as agents train themselves to see the difference between “I like this” and “this is good” (and “I don’t like this” and “this is bad”), we’re still human, and with all the reading at night or on the weekends, it’s a real pleasure to come across the projects that we’d happily buy off the shelves if they had nothing to do with us.
So when you’re querying us, if it’s because an off-hand reference in one of our blog entries made you realize we just might be the right advocate for your book, please do let us know! It always helps us to know why you wanted us to read your work.
by Lauren
Recently, we've been asked a number of related questions about aspects of the query process, so I thought I'd try to tackle them here to give prospective clients a helping hand.
- Which agent should I query for my work?
There are a fair number of us here and even if you're reading the blog, it can be tough to figure out just which of us might be the right agent for you. On
our website, each agent has a bio listing our areas of interest, and that's a very good place to start. Beyond that, most books have an acknowledgments section that will tell you who represented them. If you feel your book would sit comfortably alongside others on the shelf (and you should know which those are before you query anyway), try the agents who represented them. And if you're querying us because you think your work would appeal to the same readers as something on our list does, let us know in the query!
- What if I have a few options and the person I select doesn't bite? Should I query another agent at the agency for that project?
There's overlap in categories and finer points of taste that are hard to suss out if you don't know us well. Fortunately, we do know each other's taste very well. It's not unusual for us to pass a query along to a colleague because we feel they'd be a better fit. Even after we've read a partial or manuscript, we regularly share with our colleagues here to get another opinion or see if it might be up their alley. That does mean a rejection from an agent here is a rejection from the agency, and you shouldn't try us all in turn. You especially shouldn't try us simultaneously. We won't compete internally, and no one likes to spend their time reading something only to find that another of our colleagues is already pursuing it.
- What if you've already rejected my manuscript, but I've thoroughly revised it?
First, I'd caution you to be honest about how thorough your revisions are. If you've genuinely made it substantially different (and, one hopes, better) then we don't at all mind if you come back to us and offer it again. Just be up front about it when you do, and if we think that a re-read might be to our and your benefit, we'll be happy to do so. No one knows better than us how much difference revision can make!
- If you turn me down, can you give me editorial feedback?
If we haven't offered it ourselves in the rejection, no. There are times when we feel we have constructive feedback to give and in those cases we do provide it. We might say that we don't think it works, and we think we know why. We might say that we think there are key issues that if revised might make the book work
—and if we feel strongly about that, we might ask you to consider resubmitting to us if you make those changes. If we don't offer editorial feedback in our response, it's because we don't have it to offer. Either we have no vision for what's wrong and needs fixing, or we don't feel confident that we have the right grasp on the project or enough enthusiasm for it to point you in the right direction. It's too subjective for us to make pronouncements on the problems with everything that doesn't work for us, and we could easily lead you astray and send you off working on edits that will hinder rather than help your chances of finding the agent who does get what you're doing.- If you turn me down, can you give me a recommendation to another agent?
The nature of the business allows us to know what editors are looking for much more than what other agents seek. As such, we can’t offer recommend
by Miriam
The year is winding to a close and as
some of us immerse ourselves in lists of 2010’s greatest hits, I’m thinking ahead to 2011 and pondering what I’d like to see more of in that prime number year. In no particular order, I want:
Really good historical fiction. You know, like
The Alienist or
I, Claudius or
The White Queen or
The Crimson Petal and the White—the kind of thing that totally transports you to another era, giving you insights into the lives of the characters, and the cultural mores and political imperatives they were subject to, while also thoroughly immersing you in a transfixing story.
A memoir that makes one individual’s journey mirror the preoccupations, experiences, fears and fantasies many, if not most of us, share. Oh, and if that could come with a funny, self-aware but not self-important, charming protagonist whose life I don’t mind being wrapped up in for 300 pages, that’d be great too.
Gripping science narratives. I was browsing in a book store the other day and came across
The Emperor of All Maladies by Siddhartha Mukherjee. I stopped to read so long that I was almost late to my appointment. Dr. Mukherjee grabbed my interest from the very first line and I’m his new biggest fan. I’d like to see more of the kind of writing and storytelling that brings scientific or medical topics to life and creates characters out of concepts or ideas.
A political book that explains what’s going on in our crazy republic. Let’s face it, we have some pretty colorful characters running the country (or trying to) these days and I find myself frequently as baffled as entertained by their antics. I’d love to see someone put it all in some kind of historical perspective while analyzing what it is about us (and them) that would make the founding fathers throw up their hands and head to Vegas.
An edge-of-your-seat, can’t-put-it-down, scary-suspenseful-sexy thriller with a hero/heroine who’d give Jack Reacher a run for his money.
Is that too much to ask? What’ve you guys got?
by John
First off, thanks so much to Jane for
the lovely introduction, as well as for inviting me to join the DGLM family in the first place. It’s only been a couple of days, but already it feels like home. As you might guess, I’m very eager to dive into this new world of agenting, so let me give you a brief idea of where I’m coming from, how I got here, and what I’m looking for going forward.
Coming out of college, I had the dubious distinction of graduating with not just one, but two fairly useless majors for the professional world (classics and music). Not really knowing what to do with myself, I moved to Boston for a year and discovered two things: 1) How much I loved reading outside of the academic setting, and 2) there was this industry called book publishing where people seemed to read for a living!
Hence, I moved back to New York and somehow landed an Editorial Assistant gig at Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers. At the time, I knew less than nothing about kids’ books, but I figured the hardest thing about getting a job in publishing was getting the job—and that maybe after 6 months or so in kids’ books I could “graduate” to the adult side.
Very fortunately for me, I discovered that children’s literature was where I belonged, and for the next twelve years I happily immersed myself in that world, moving from S&S to Putnam and eventually editing my own list of novels, picture books and nonfiction for young readers.
As to
why I found the young readers department so appealing: For one, there’s a general consensus in kids’ books that no one wants to publish a “bad” book for kids—even the most commercial licensed material usually has an educational element or something positive to recommend it. Along those lines, in the darkest teen novels or dystopian fantasies, there’s almost always a sense of hopefulness to children’s literature, a feeling that in the end things will work out—and I’ll admit it, I’m a sucker for a happy ending. I love, too, how children’s writers use the first person, giving you an intimate connection with a young character and letting you see the world through a young person’s eyes. And on the younger level, the artwork being created today for picture books is nothing less than spectacular—if you can ever make it to the Society of Illustrators annual exhibition of picture book art here in New York, you’ll see a collection that rivals the finest museums.
While I still relish editing and working with authors and illustrators, finding new talent has always been my favorite part of an editor’s job, and so I’m thrilled for this new opportunity to directly encounter fresh, distinct voices and to help authors transform their voices into books. And while my first love will always be kids’ lit, I’m looking forward to exploring the adult genres that have always interested me—perhaps not quite a “graduation” to adult, but more like a Junior Year Abroad?
For more information on what I’m looking for specifically, please
check out my bio and
essay on the DGLM website. And then, please query me about your projects—I know there are authors out there waiting to be heard, so let me help you broadcast your voice to the world. Looking forward to reading your work soon!
By: DGLM,
on 8/10/2010
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by Stephanie
Hi blog readers! Now that both
Jane and
Chasya have so kindly introduced me, it’s my turn to chime in. I guess the best way to begin is to give you a little information on my background here. I may be new to
the website, but I’m
not entirely new to the blog. In fact, I have actually been puttering around this office for longer than you think.
I began at Dystel & Goderich over a year ago as an intern. I was determined to find myself an internship in publishing, particularly during the latter half of my college career. I hadn’t had much luck early on, so by my third year at NYU, nothing was going to stop me. I applied and interviewed for the internship with DGLM all while living in London, where I was spending the spring semester of my junior year. Fully aware that my geographical gap could create a handicap, I knew I had to be persistent. And luckily for me, according to Lauren, I was persistent enough that it exhibited my determination, but not too persistent that it made her want to burn my application and any remaining evidence of my existence. So with that, I was offered the chance to join DGLM that summer as an intern. The semesters passed, I continued to stay with the agency, and before I knew it about a year and a half had gone by and I had graduated from NYU. Then I was lucky enough to be given the opportunity by Jane and Miriam to take over for Chasya as she looks to begin a new chapter in her life. I knew that the timing was right; I felt comfortable here, and I had spent enough time working on the less essential tasks that I had developed the desire to explore the business further and carve out my own place in it. And as clichés go, the rest is history.
In giving this blog post some thought, I remembered something Rachel had said
in her welcome post: “I think the one thing I truly love about working in a literary agency is that I get to see the entire process of publishing, from a rough manuscript to a finished book on the shelves.” I might make fun of Rachel for her love of Vegemite, but her words are very true. I’m very excited to finally get the chance to dive in and take on my own work. My time at DGLM has allowed me to expose myself to an industry I have always wanted to be a part of, and now it’s allowing me to embark on a new journey in my life—one that will allow me to build the career I’ve always wanted.
The bottom line is, I’m excited to take on this new responsibility within Dystel & Goderich, because now I get to hear from you. Yes, you. I look forward to hearing your ideas, your thoughts, your opinions. You all have stories to tell. Trust me, I’ve read a lot of them. But now I’m ready to do something with them. Turn them into the books they deserve to be. There are certain subjects I’m particularly interested in reading,
which you can find in my bio on our website. So let me hear from you. I can only rearrange the pens on my desk for so long….
By: DGLM,
on 2/23/2010
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by Jim
Story time! In January 2008, I received a query for a historical romance novel from an author who was friends with one of my clients and critique partners with another client of the agency. I do represent romance novels and have expressed that I’m open to historicals, but it’s not a subgenre I work in often. That aside, the author, Darcy Burke, had crafted an excellent query, and it didn’t hurt that she had references. So I requested and read her novel
Glorious.
The novel was quite strong, but I decided to pass. For a real peek behind the curtain, here’s the letter I sent Darcy passing on the project:
Dear Darcy,Thanks much for the opportunity to consider Glorious
, which I read with great interest. Unfortunately, I’m going to be passing at this time.This was a tough one for me. You’re obviously a talented writer, and this could very well be a marketable manuscript. That said, historical romance is a category that I really don’t know. When I venture into new genres for the first time, it has to be with a book that I’m completely blown away by. Without that driving passion, my inexperience in the category prevents me from being the best possible agent for the project. Though I did very much enjoy this read, I’m not ultimately convinced enough in my own ability to place this successfully in order to offer you representation.Sorry not to have better news on this one. I do hope you’ll keep me in mind in the future.
All best,
JimHappily, Darcy did keep me in mind. Over the next year or two, she worked on a new novel, still historical romance, called
The Earl's Obsession, and she queried me anew on December 21 of last year. I requested it the day before we closed for the holidays and read it over Christmas in Colorado.
The Earl's Obsession did exactly what it needed to do for me. It introduced me to two incredible lead characters—the arrogant Earl of Saxton, Jasper, and the orphaned seamstress Olivia—who registered so fully and naturally that I couldn’t help rooting for them, even as they often provided their own biggest obstacles. They were flawed, passionate, obstinate people, matched in the strength of their convictions, if not the convictions themselves.
But then Darcy did herself one better: rather than just give me characters that felt fresh and new, she conquered the greatest challenge of genre writing: making the outcome of the plot unpredictable while also managing to satisfy the reader. It might come as a surprise in a romance novel if the two romantic leads don’t end up together, but it wouldn’t be a
happy surprise. On the flip side, if you’re slogging through 300 pages just waiting for the inevitable, you’ll be bored silly. Darcy kept me on my toes with enough flips, twists, and turns to keep me fully engaged all the way, while also knowing that I was in the most confident of hands.
I offered to represent Darcy the day we got back from the holidays. Happily, she said yes! Right now, she’s working on some light editorial feedback that I sent her way, and we’ll be taking the project out to editors shortly. Fingers will remain tightly crossed.
Now, I don’t want to give the impression that I only sign on people who were referred. Sure, Darcy knows one of my clients. Still, if I didn’t love her novel, it wouldn’t be to either of our advantage for me to offer to sign her on. Most of my clients did come straight from the slush pile. What I think this particular story illustrates, though, is that if an agent leaves a door open to resubmit in the future, they mean it. Trust me: I’m not asking everyone to send me more material. Just because the fit isn’t right yet doesn’t mean it won’t be.
I’m excited to share Darcy’s work with editors in t
by Miriam
The publishing business is weird. That’s a given for those of us who toil within its ranks. It’s also unpredictable, quixotic, and often baffling. One of the things that never ceases to amaze me is the phenomenon of serious author turned “rock star.” Joshua Ferris,
according to Jason Pinter, is the latest Jay McInerney, J.D. Salinger, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Lord Byron, etc., and no disrespect to Mr. Ferris, whose first book I thoroughly enjoyed and strongly recommended, but what is it about him that people find so, well, sexy? And, should that be a reason to rush out and buy his sophomore novel?
Over the years, I’ve come across many very attractive authors, many not so attractive but highly charismatic authors, and some who, attractive or not, were so shy or self-conscious or socially inept that it made perfect sense to me that they’d chosen to become writers – traditionally a solitary and vaguely misanthropic pursuit. Except, of course, nowadays even the most retiring of authors has to glam it up for the cameras, both physically and personality-wise in order to get attention for his or her work. We at DGLM have always been aware that this is a reality of the media-driven age we live in but still cringe at the thought of having to advise authors to “maximize their assets” by working with a p.r. coach on finding ways to become more telegenic, for instance. Personally, I prefer my writers to be reclusive, eccentric and odd-looking and more interested in crafting beautiful sentences than looking beautiful on
Oprah, but in the tabloid era that type seems to be a dying breed.
Does an author’s looks or celebrity status influence your decision to buy his/her books?
by Lauren
Just came across this really handy item that SCBWI's Kathy Temean posted on her blog:
Top Ten Questions Dutton Editors Ask Themselves When Looking At A Manuscript. Very useful for all writers, especially novelists, whichever market they write for and whether or not Dutton would be interested. I recommend you consider these points about your own manuscript before you share it, because most of these are questions that'll be asked down the line throughout the publishing process, in many cases all the way up to readers buying your book.
(via
Janet Reid)
by Miriam
Every once in a while a celebrity news story morphs into a veritable hydra-headed monster of a tabloid saga. And, given my love for that particular brand of infotainment, I am usually sucked in right along with the other readers of
Us Weekly,
People, and, yes,
Star. So, you know I’ve been bouncing from one blog to another for the last couple of weeks following the supernova of a meltdown that is the Tiger Woods saga. Same thing happened with the Eliot Spitzer, Mark Sanford and John Edwards gossip fests. The rubber necking fascination for grown men behaving badly never seems to wane, despite the fact that at this point it seems more the norm than the exception. Fame/Money + Unbridled Ego = Tabloid story in the making.
So, whenever one of these events turns into the usual circus, my colleagues and I immediately think “Is there a book in this?” And, of course, there usually is. In fact, there are usually 10 books. So, how do you decide whether to jump on the ambulance chasing wagon, track down a writer and loose them on the story or take a chance on the “insider” account by one of the members of the disgraced figure’s entourage, his ex-whatever, or his second grade teacher or simply keep watching from afar. The answer is tricky and it depends on what kind of agent/agency you are.
Generally speaking, we take on books that we think we’re going to be able to sell because we don’t get paid for our efforts unless we do. Given that simple premise, it doesn’t make sense to run through hoops in order to try to make a book about one of these scandals happen unless (a) that book is going to offer revelations that are truly not to be found in the 24/7 coverage by blogs, magazines, newspapers, and tv shows (b) there is serious analysis of the situation and its more universal implications by a writer who has strong credentials and who is not just going to do a clip job restating the obvious and (c) one of the main players is willing to sell out his mother for a book deal and really does know where the bodies are buried. Ultimately, though, it’s one thing to be titillated by these kinds of stories while eating your Cheerios and quite another to spend the time, energy and dedication it takes to get a book published on a narrative that will soon be supplanted by the next celebrity/politician/sports star behaving badly. And, sometimes, despite the potential monetary windfall, the subject is just too distasteful to pursue--I don’t think anyone here would have repped OJ Simpson’s book (
except perhaps Jim), even though we all would strenuously defend an agent’s choice to do so.
If you were agents would you try to sell a Tiger Woods book right now?
by Jessica
In light of
Miriam’s post on good holiday gifts, and
Stacey’s elaboration on what she’s looking for, I figured I’d post my own holiday wish list, the projects that I’d love to discover in my virtual stocking, the visions of submissions/sugarplums that dance in my head.
- Popular science or history of science, in particular, neuroscience, medicine, natural history and biology, but if the writing is good, I’m open to most any discipline. I’m looking for today’s answer to Lewis Thomas.
- Plot-driven literary fiction, books that contain both gorgeous writing and a well-constructed, dramatic narrative arc.
- Literate, John LeCarre-style spy thrillers
- Novelistic/narrative retellings of pivotal chapters in world history—modern or ancient—with strong contemporary resonance.
- A modern gothic novel, like Donna Tartt’s The Secret History
- Polemic/muckraking narrative, a la Barbara Ehrenreich
- Psychology and sociology growing out of original research, with either a “big think” or prescriptive orientation.
- A surprise
by Stacey
As some of you might know, I had identical twin girls 10 months ago, and have 2 "older" girls at home (3 and 4 1/2). So, while I have continued to work throughout my entire pregnancies and maternity leaves, my life has had a lot to do with topics like dirty diapers, play dates, and nursery schools lately. Listening to some of the respondents from
Lauren's earlier post, I wanted to give a little insight into what I'm looking for right now. For obvious reasons, I'd like to see more smart, unique, well-told parenting titles. The category is really overcrowded, so it's important that the authors have a strong platform, a fresh message, and a voice that resonates with today's overstressed, exhausted parents. It doesn't have to be practical either. There are some great narrative books out there that aren't in the parenting category per se, but appeal to that market, books like the one I just recommended on our site,
One and the Same by Abigail Pogrebin. I'm also always looking for more narrative nonfiction, like a project I represent,
The Widow Clicquot, which tells the little known story of the dynamic French woman who created the champagne brand. Another category I'm very fond of both personally and professionally is memoir. Also overcrowded but when it works, it's so satisfying , like
Come Back by Claire and Mia Fontaine,
which I've blogged about before, and which I sold after sending the proposal to 54 publishers before finding the right one! It helps for memoir to have a platform already in place, like Shreve Stockton's
The Daily Coyote, based on
her very popular blog. In the practical area, I am always interested in working with how-to authors on craft books and cookbooks. And finally, I've had some good success recently with young adult fiction, and I'd love to see more smart, quality work in that area. I hope to hear from you soon with new submissions!
(Now seems a good time to point your attention to our relatively new sidebar: "I wish I saw more..." We'll use it as a way to keep you all up to date on the "Why can't someone just send me a query for X?" conversations that go on 'round the DGLM offices. Check it out to the right! -Lauren)
By: DGLM,
on 11/17/2009
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by Chasya
One of our readers asks: “How important are previous publication credits to an agent? Do you prefer [to] receive queries from writers who were already published in a literary magazine/journal?”
Answer:Having really good literary credentials may get you noticed, but it’s not the only thing we’re looking for. As Michael pointed out in
his post about queries, we’re looking for a great many other things. Among them a strong voice, an original idea, etc....
It certainly can’t hurt you to get your work placed in literary journals, but being published in one is by no means the deciding factor in who we choose to represent. We’re on the lookout for all sorts of fiction, and limiting queries to authors who have any specific type of credentials really restricts our ability to search for great projects in a broad range of categories.
We hope you’ll continue to send questions! Please send us an email at
[email protected].
By: DGLM,
on 11/10/2009
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Thanks to everyone who sent in their questions! As I mentioned in my post last week, I’ll be choosing one or two of your questions a week and answering them here. There were a lot of really good ones and I hope to answer as many of these as I can, so if you don’t see yours here today it doesn’t mean that we won’t be responding to it later. What I mean to say is, stay tuned!
If you have a question, please send it to [email protected]. All questions will remain anonymous:
One of our readers asks:
“I have a novel (debut) that was read by 6 editors 5 years ago (2004).
They praised it but were also consistent in why they didn't want it.
I have (after have children, etc. etc.) fully revised it, and in
effect it is a completely different narrative, but with the same
characters, setting, tone. The agent who shopped it left the agency
and we parted ways--we had no formal agreement (the deal was, if they
weren't successful placing my novel we'd have no contract). My
question is, when querying agents now, do I mention the novel's past
in the query, or wait until the agent has had a chance to read it and
connect to it? I am afraid of turning them off....concerned that they
won't read the novel with the same eye if they are aware someone else
rejected it, even if it was five years ago and quite different.”
Answer:
A quandary, indeed. How much does one disclose when it’s tough enough getting any attention as a first-time author?
The answer is actually pretty simple: It’s very important that you are completely up front about the history of your project when approaching an agent. The surest way of “turning them off” is by not being honest about the manuscript. And you don’t want an agent to think that you are being dishonest.
If you’re waiting until an agent calls with interest in the project to inform them of the history behind it, they will want to know why this didn’t come up in your initial query. Even if you mean no harm and your intention is to let the work speak for itself, it comes off as underhanded. We’re not just assessing if we’re interested in or in love with a book--we’re reading it to figure out if we feel we can sell it. If it’s been seen before, that’s an important factor. In some cases, it may help to know that a project was strong enough to get an agent once before.
If you are, in fact, letting the work speak for itself, then disclosing this information shouldn’t really matter. We understand that fiction is very subjective, and we know that a manuscript that doesn’t necessarily speak to another person’s taste is not any reason to not give it due consideration. We also understand the business, and can tell you that if your manuscript has been to every fiction editor out there and hasn’t undergone any changes, they most definitely do not want to see it again. Editors are swamped--buried in reading and juggling more hats than ever before. If they’ve turned something down it’s usually for good reason, and they don’t have the luxury of giving something a second read. A prospective agent will have to make a judgment call about whether they think that the number of editors who have seen something (and the kinds of changes) make a difference in whether or not they think they can sell. However, if an agent truly does see your talent, even if they don’t think they can sell that book, they might recommend moving on to another project first, and if that succeeds, going back and trying to shop the original manuscript.
We must rely on our authors to be forthcoming about their work in order to serve them best. Being evasive or holding back really only leads to feelings of mistrust and can put an agent in an awkward position. It’s not a good way to start, so be sure to provide these details from the get-go.
Another reader asks:
“This is probably a no, but does anyone in your organization represent children's book authors?”
Answer:
In fact, the answer is a yes. Michael Bourret represents young adult and middle grade, along with a very select group of author/illustrators. Jim McCarthy, Lauren Abramo and Stacey Glick all represent YA and middle grade, as well.
-Chasya
I've done that phone thing but I actually said: "oh, I thought you would be a wo/man." :-j
This reminds me of when I was a sales assistant at a newspaper and the outside rep would call me and say something like "Joe is a sports fan!" and I'd jot it down in the folder in case the info would come in handy one day. I also did phoenetic spellings for some names. The notes were always small and random, but they really helped us out.
In my job, I had to call a customer who was named Chris. Most of my customers are male, but I wasn't certain and thought for sure I would know once I talked with him. It didn't help. The person could be a man with a high pitch voice or a woman who smoked cigarettes for years. I worked hard at keeping pronouns out of our conversations. Never found out.
I keep notes on my customers like birthdays, number of children, etc. They appreciate it. I know I do too.
Ha, lovely! I'm glad I'm not the only one. -Lauren