1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'llserve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
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By: Joe Sottile,
on 5/7/2011
Blog: Joe Silly Sottile's Blog
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A number of years ago, I read this at my mother's funeral mass. I am sharing it today with you to honor my mother and sister. It was the last gift that I could send upward to Heaven dedicated to her.
Our Mother, a Gift of Words
If my mom were alive today, she would thank you for coming here. So her family thanks you today. Besides prayers, the last gift that I can give our mother is a few kind words. She used to say, “If it makes you happy, do it.” And I am happy to share these words with you.
Our mother is gone, but she’s here in our hearts and memories—like Father Jim said. She’s here in her children and their spouses, grandchildren and many others. Yes, she’s here in her grandchildren. She was a “grand” mother to all of them. Whenever we closed a long distance phone call, she would add, “Give everyone a kiss for me and tell them that I love them.”
She even included our dog, Rosco, in her good wishes. Dogs held a special place in my mom’s heart because they asked for so little and gave so much. Dogs like Rudy and Lucy. Mom is here in her nieces and nephews and her friends.
So, who was this woman we call mother, sister, grandma, great-grandma or friend? She was an angel on Earth. That’s who she was. Those who used to watch “Touched By An Angel” know what I mean. This earthly angel wasn’t perfect, but she was as perfect as a person can be. She earned her angel wings by spending most of her teenage years without a father, a father who died in a fire. Her oldest brother, John, became her rock of Gibraltar, her substitute father. This lovely lass fell in love with a hard-working macho Italian man. It was a classic case of “Romeo and Juliet,” except that the relationship survived growing up in two different houses, with two different cultures and lifestyles.
In the first year of marriage, there were challenges and the background of World War Two. Out of love, my mother gave into her groom in many ways. She waited hand-and-foot on a man used to European ways of living. That’s partly how she earned her heavenly wings today. She pleased this tough macho man as much as she could because she knew that he would love her all the days of his life; that he would work hard for her and their family, as long as he could.
She knew a profound secret about him that escaped the minds of his children, even as their lives unfolded into adulthood. She knew that he wa
Just ONE example of why English is SO difficult to learn . . . . . Think about it. The author is unknown... Read until the end.....you'll laugh.... This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word
is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].
It's easy to understand
By: Joe Sottile,
on 1/19/2011
Blog: Joe Silly Sottile's Blog
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By Carrie Graham Donaldo
Subject: MATHEMATICS
Loveof Mathematics and the Love of God! This is TOO cool!
Just the math part is good enough, the end is even better. I bet you won’t be able to read it without sharing it!
Beauty of Mathematics!!!!!!!
1 x 8 + 1= 9
12 x 8 + 2= 98
123 x 8
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After I retired, my wife insisted that Iaccompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I foundshopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equallyunfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the followingletter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs.Clifton
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