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...or maybe that should be 'do not adjust your Kindle'.
My story collection, Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits, is currently unavailable to buy as a Kindle eBook (and my publisher's other books have also been removed from Amazon - this also affects the 52 Stitches anthologies). I don't know the full details, but hopefully the situation will be rectified soon...and if not, Strange Men is still available as a paperback in both the
US and
UK stores.
And paperbacks are prettier anyway.
It was a shock to find the book had disappeared from the store (I thought it a glitch at first and obsessively checked Amazon waiting for it to reappear) and I guess this is a little how it feels when a book goes out of print. Of course, mine is just one little book whereas my publisher is dealing with losing quite a few titles (he must be frantic).
Meanwhile... back to the story that refuses to be.
I am spending the day with dead people... We're destroying things and breaking hearts. We've also lost a sock. If found destroy it.
In other news, there's a lovely review of my story collection Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits over at Bloody Bookish. Thank to Mary Rajotte for that.
You may have witnessed a wee bit of butt-shaking excitement last night when I discovered that
Theatre of Curious Acts (the hardback) is available to pre-order on
Amazon (just the US site at the moment). Oh my!
The book will be available as a hardback, paperback, and ebook and they'll all be released (fingers crossed, things going to plan etc etc) on December 21st or thereabouts.
And there was more butt shaking this lunchtime when I read Pablo Cheesecake's review over at
The Eloquent Page..."From the battlefields of Europe, to the end of the world, this novel is a seamless blend of physical and psychological horror that will leave a distinct impression..." It's a seriously awesome review.
Me and my boys can battle anything now - dragons, war, death.
Theatre means so much to me - I love
Barbed Wire Hearts and
Strange Men but both those books had easy rides to publication (or at least that's how it felt - or rather, a magical ride) whereas poor
Theatre often felt like the book that would never be until it landed on Hadley Rille's shores. Have I said how much I love the book. And my boys, especially Daniel & Swan and poor, poor Ken. Ken breaks my heart so don't you dare hate him (okay, you can if you want). Assuming you read their story that is. I hope you do. And if you do, let me know if you love Ken (and if you don't, it's all my fault and not his).
Gef Fox is running a
competition over at his blog and one of the prizes is my book
Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits, which you can win along with Camille Alexa's
Push of the Sky. And if you already have one or both of those books, he's also running another competition where you can win the anthologies
52 Stitches and
Courting Morpheus. And if you have all those books on your shelf (I do), then erm... You are extra awesome (except in the case of me, because I'm in two of them).
Hope you're enjoying your weekend. I'm vegging out and watching old movies. Just watched
Bell, Book and Candle with Jimmy Stewart and next up is
Airport--I love disaster movies. I love old seventies disaster movies.
...or things that occured at the weekend.
I frightened my four-year-old nephew. Not on purpose. He insisted I put another plaster around the three or four plasters he already had on his finger because he was frightened the other plasters would fall off and it would hurt. They're covering a week old papercut. I did so, but told him not to fret, that the Plaster Fairy would remove the plasters when he slept and that it wouldn't hurt. This sent him into hysterics. Warning to parents: don't leave a horror writer in charge of a child. In my defence, the Plaster Fairy tale sounded cute and not freaky in my head. I have been chastisted.
Finished the second draft of 'Barbed Wire Heart' and now I get to do the pretty editing phase. Told my mum, I'd finished (while rewarding myself with biscuits) and was again chastised with, 'What do you mean it's a novella not a novel? What the 'feck' use is that?'
Drew the winner of my Space & Time and Amazon voucher competition - Gary B Phillips - who subsequently decided to do a competition where three lucky souls can win the Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits ebook. How awesome is he...
And the final chastisement came via myself...
I procrastinated and read a bunch of blogs (and blog comments) about 99 cent ebooks. I'm aware that people I respect are anti selling a book for 99 cents (and there are also others who I respect who are pro 99 cent books) and that many think that pricing a book at 99 cents = crap and not worth their time. That bothers me, of course that bothers me. The last thing I want is people to make the assumption my book isn't worth their time--I need their time.
I've been lucky, Strange Men has gathered some fantastic reviews, but the fact is, I'm an unknown writer and selling story collections is hard even for the well established. So, when my publisher asked how much I wanted the ebook priced at (my publisher is so awesome, I get 100% of net electronic sales) I was torn. In the end, I decided on the lower price scale in the hope it would tempt folk to try the collection who may not have otherwise and having liked (she hopes) the book, they may be more willing to give my book 'Theatre of Curious Acts' a try when it is published later this year.
Of course, now I'm aware it has possibly put others off.
(I'll let you into a secret: I care what people think. I care too much and thus I chastise myself)
I'll admit, seeing Strange Men on Amazon.com at 99 cents doesn't bother me (I have had twinges of 'no one will buy the paperback' now, but I think one has sold since the ebook went live - don't laugh, each sale means the world to me), but seeing it at 70p on Amazon.co.uk does. Seventy pence. God, I am cheap. I cost as much as a Galaxy chocolate bar (but I last longer).
For an awesome, more eloquent post about the price of books check out Katey Taylor's blog. I love her analogy. It had me crying 'yes' and 'oh my god' and 'I'm the cheap bottle of wine' and 'but I've gotten drunk quite well on Lambrusco and Thunderbirds and my liver survived'.
Okay, back to writing or obsessing or both.
Competition time.
My contributor copies of Space and Time arrived today. That's right--copies--which means I have a spare magazine to pass onto someone awesome (and it'll be signed by me) and I thought I'd throw in a $10 or £10 (depending which side of the Atlantic you're on) Amazon gift card so you can buy more books.
So what do you have to do to win...
Well, I figured since it's ebook week, you could maybe buy an ebook and then comment below saying you'd like to be entered in the competition. I'm not looking for proof you bought an ebook (I trust y'all). Just do it. Or perhaps you've already bought an ebook this week and in which case, consider yourself entered (but you still have to tell me).
Here are some ebook buyage suggestions:
Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits -
UK or
USA (Yes, that's my sly way of telling you my book is now available to read on the Kindle - I am made of evil things)
Some more ebook suggestions: (
I LOVE these books)
The House Eaters by Aaron Polson -
UK or
USA House of Fallen Trees by Gina Ranalli -
UK or
USA Morning is Dead by Andersen Prunty -
UK or
USA Or try something I have on my to read shelf (and to read file):
Amity by Jeremy D Brooks -
UK or
USAThe Masks of Our Fathers by Barry Napier -
UK or
USAThe Black Act by Louise Bohmer -
UK or
USATry a famous author:
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro -
10 Comments on Space, Time and The Competition, last added: 3/12/2011
Let's start in Australia, where this:
has just been released. Not only is the cover art delicious (I promised scary, right?), but lookie here...I'm sharing a TOC with Terry Dowling. (I'm humbled, to be sure.) My little story, "The Weight of Children's Stories" is about stories (and caves, and monsters, and...oh just read it). Grab a copy in PDF or lovely dead tree edition.
On to the United Kingdom, which happens to be where the incredibly talented Cate Gardner lives. I've finally formatted and uploaded Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits to the Kindle store, and you know what? Cate's generously priced the book at 99 cents. Yippee! Check it out on Amazon.
Okay, so my WIP takes place in New Mexico, way back in the territorial days. 1881 to be exact, just about a year after the arrival of the Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe railroad. Welcome again to the world of the Sons of Chaos (first seen in Black Medicine Thunder). I don't want to give too much away:
The thing had him by the throat, and the pistol fell with a thunk to the wooden floor.
So should I mention the "thing" takes out his heart? I did say scary, didn't I?
Things that have happened this week...which is a strange sort of post for a Thursday, but then I'm an odd sort of gal.
Most important news first. There's an excellent review of my story collection, Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits, by Peter Tennant in the current issue of Black Static. I was so nervous about this review because it's a) Peter Tennant and b) Black Static and c) I'm nervous about every review.
Here's an excerpt from the review: ...is a smorgasbord of the surreal with strands of absurdity ripping through its core, each quirky story riffing on an internal logic with echoes of Monty Python at its most bizarre and informed by a delight in language that matches the exuberance of Bradbury at the height of his powers... There is an addictive quality to these stories, so that as soon as you finish one you want to rush on to the next...
You can read the rest of the review in Black Static. I shall have to secure my subscription copy behind glass when it arrives.
Next up... My story The Sound of Sharp Voices which appears in The Tangled Bank anthology is now available in print. The book originally appeared as an ebook last February and I'm really happy to be able to add the print version to my 'me' shelf. Yep, I have a me shelf. I guess my me shelf is an ego shelf and thus my ego is small.
And talking of Tangled... A Disney Store bag* freaked me out. It's one of those big numbers with a huge saucer eyed Rapunzel on the front and I'd left the darn thing hanging over the back of my door. It got dark. I hadn't drawn my blinds because I often don't. Something caught my eye in the window. EEK! For a millisecond I thought a giant eyed something was staring at me through the window. Thank god, I didn't pick up a Mickey Mouse bag.
*Note to concerned readers - the bag contains pressies for my talented niece and swashbuckling nephew and isn't a fashion accessory.
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By: Aaron Polson,
on 12/6/2010
Blog:
The Other Aaron
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JacketFlap tags:
strange men in pinstripe suits,
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As promised, I bring you a small shopping list for the weird reader on your list. (click on the images for purchasing info)
Yes, it may seem a little self-serving (being a Strange Publications book and all), but Cate's collection is wonderful. Check out www.strangemeninpinstripesuits.com and read the reviews.
I'm a big fan of just about everything Kim Paffenroth has written. If you haven't taken a peek at
Valley of the Dead yet, you should grab a copy (or buy two and send one to a loved one). Smart horror, folks.
When I was seven, my sister gave me one of the best gifts she could: a subscription to the Star Wars comic book (then produced by Marvel). How about giving that fantasy lover a subscription to a nice small press mag like
Shimmer?
Or, for the horror fan on your list, a subscription to
Necrotic Tissue, a magazine which never fails to entertain.
Okay, so some people like poetry. Some people like their poetry weird (and somewhat dark). Stuff
A Mouth for Picket Fences by Barry Napier in their stocking.
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9 Comments on Weird and Creeepy Shopping List, last added: 12/7/2010
I've always loved Bonfire Night, and I especially love November 5th this year.
Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits racked up two gorgeous reviews.
"This land may be called Wonderland or Nowhere, but whatever the name, Gardner maps it with careful, melancholy strokes..." Read the rest of the review by E. Catherine Tobler over at
Shimmer. Yes,
the Shimmer.
"Another gem of a book! Reading this book was like walking into a curio shop filled with wondrous treasures..." Read the rest of the review over at
VVB32 Reads.
NaNoWriMo catch up:
Today's Word Count: 2142 (go me!!!)
Total Word Count: 9007 / 523 (other projects)
Time Frame: Hello 24th Century, the Darling Girls have arrived
Googled: Weird Museums
Oops: Excessive swearing this session (in manuscript and without). My characters however have an excuse. They're sitting in a time-travelling submarine, the power has fizzled out and 'The Breaker' (freaking gigantic killer robot) is stomping about outside.

Do I have the coolest brother? Look what he sketched for me. Of course, having made its appearance at a family get-together, the poor Strange Man above suffered much ribbing. I mean... He's obviously lost a bit of weight recently, why else would he need to grip onto his pants?
Sorry, one needs to be evil to ones brother at least once a day - 'tis in the contract.
And to be fair, he'd already attacked me. Observe...
Bro: Read one of your stories online... Strange Tooth. Impressed. Reminded me of a Twilight Zone episode.
Me: Wow, you actually read one of my stories. (Jaw flaps open).
Bro: I thought, she's good and then I read another one (shan't mention here to save the story's blushes) about (blah) and (blah).
Mum: Have I read that one?
Bro: Wouldn't bother, Mum. I mean WTF!!!
Still, I'll begrudgingly add, he can draw and I cannot.
This is my weekend. This pretty pile of paper. Draft two of a story with ugly sentences in red and notes on things to fix in the margins. By the end of Sunday, I want to have almost no red and most of the comment boxes deleted.
I need this story out the door by next week so I can concentrate on finalising my NaNoWriMo plans. Walter (my dictaphone) is also holding three stories for me--one most definitely pants, one WTF, and one shiver-down-my-spine-creepy. I'd also like to edit one or two of the stories on my jingle bell line before hibernating in my new book. Ooh, new book. Excited now. Excited is so much better than overwhelmed.
In pretty news,
Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits is now available to buy at
Amazon.com - treble the excitement. I expect to be a millionaire by next week. In the ranking sense that is. My book's rank started (okay, first time I checked in) at 97,677, and has steadily dropped to 153,853 during the day. Boy, those guys sell a lot of books. That's 60,000ish shifted in about 7 hours. Bloody hell. Of course, I might be getting the math totally wrong, but still, they're mega busy and that's good for us right. People are buying books. Now I need to torture people into buying mine.
Something is wrong with that last sentence.
Some pretty contests for you today.
First off a Strange Men contest. Sorry Gef, but sometimes you have to put yourself first (even if your contest is cooler than mine).
Prize: Triangulation: End of the Rainbow anthology, which features my story The Meaning of Yellow, along with stories by Aaron Polson, Eugie Foster, Marshall Payne, Jamie Lee Moyer, Cat Rambo, Brenta Blevins, Mark Onspaugh and others.
Pretty Picture of Prize
Rules: send an email to me at catephoenix(at)gmail(dot)com (subject line: Rainbow Contest) by midnight Saturday 25th September (your time) for a chance to win a copy.
For every twenty-three entries, I'll give away one copy.
How to enter multiple times:
1. One entry = email me as above
2. Two entries = email me as above and Twitter a link to the competition (let me know you've twittered by either including @categardner in tweet or by mentioning in your email). *Alternatively, if you don't have a twitter account, you can blog about the competition.
3. Three entries = email me as above and pre-order Strange Men (let me know you've pre-ordered the book in your email - and this is open to anyone who has already pre-ordered plus any new orders, but you have to let me know - sorry.)
4. Four entries = email as above, pre-order Strange Men and twitter or blog a link.
The book will be dispatched by Amazon.com or .co.uk.
***
Now onto Gef's contest and an opportunity to
win five books:
The Black Act by Louise Bohmer / Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill / Vlad: The Last Confession by C.C. Humphreys / Audrey's Door by Sarah Langan / Red-Headed Stepchild by Jaye Wells.
Gef's contest is only open to residents of America or Canada.
You've possibly already seen my link via twitter, but Strange Men has notched another review in its starched pants. This one is by Joshua Reynolds. I think I yelped when Google sent me an email link to the review and I possibly didn't breath until I'd read every single word. As I said last week on Simon Marshall Jones' blog, 'Reviews are scary.' They're also kind of awesome. Many thanks to Joshua for such a delightful review.
And talking of pinstripe suits...
I saw a strange little man wearing one yesterday. To be fair, he may only have been strange in my imagination. He was brushing up outside a tobacconists in the city centre, was about nineteen or twenty, most definitely overdressed in his pinstriped suit (which looked slightly too big). His colleagues were wearing jeans and t-shirts. He looked so tired and weary as if he'd worked there for years or as if he knew he'd be there forever, sweeping that same street. A Groundhog Day ghost in a world that kept moving about him.
Or he could have just been hungover and gone to work straight from a wedding. But there's no oddness to be weaved from that.
It may be Wednesday but there's no WIP post from me today, I'm too hyper to string more than eight words together. I've been a total pimp this week... And the worst sort, it's all me, me, hey have you heard about me. Thank you to everyone who's played along (or intends to play along) with my cheeky meme contest. Your support is much appreciated and I hope you all win. erm...
Anyhow, apologies for yet more pimpage (it ends here), but Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits just received its first review from Simon Marshall Jones over at Beyond Fiction and it is fanblinkingtastic. Many thanks to Simon, Mark Deniz and all the guys over at BF who've seriously made my week.
Eek! Late addition to the post...
Thank you to everyone who preordered a copy. I can't believe I left that part out.
True story.
When someone told me the driving test laws were changing and that, from September, anyone taking the test would be required to take a 10 minute run, I said...
"Well I'm stuffed. I can just about run for the bus."
Doh!
And in unrelated 'I'm a tree' news. The website for my short story collection,
Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits, went live yesterday and there's a contest and freebies. Problem is, for the first 6 hours or so I had the wrong email address up on the site, so if you entered the
competition or ordered any
bookmarks and didn't send the entry to catephoenix(at)gmail(dot)com, then I never received it. You may throw rotten tomatoes at me now.
Clipart from Clipartheaven.com
First there was the artwork for The Sour Aftertaste of Olive Lemon which made feel incredibly fortunate to have such a pretty little chapbook. I thought, second time around (assuming there would ever be a second time), I wouldn't be as fortunate. A nobody doesn't get to have two kick-ass covers. Guess, I was wrong. How beautiful is this...
Aaron Polson (publisher and cover designer) is now officially upgraded to demigod.
As threatened in my previous post, I bring to you the delights of my one and only attempt at mashing together a picture using Photoshop. And quite pleased I am with the effect (note to reader, that last sentence must be read in a Yoda voice).
I think you can tell it contains a fellow wandering amongst trees and crows, but then perhaps my eye sees what it wants to see - wouldn't be a first time. Just agree with me, it's for the best.
Anyhow, you'll find yonder fellow over at my
Strange Men website when it goes live (it's shrouded in mystery at the moment) and he may have a couple of little tales to tell you about the folk who inhabit my little book. Beware though, he's an egomaniac and is mostly interested in his own needs.
Excuse me one moment....
*Liverpool thinks its suffering an earth tremor, people rush outside, see girl jumping up and down on the spot and squealing, think 'not her again' and head back into their homes for a cup of tea and a jammie dodger*
..I'm back.
Strange Publications, run by the most wonderful person to ever visit this blog (sorry, but today that is true) -Mr. Aaron Polson- are going to publish my short story collection,
Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits. It will be a mix of previously published and new stories. There will be many strange men in pinstripe suits. None of them will be as handsome as the fellow to the left.
That is all.
Whaaaaaat? That's crazy. Maybe Aaron's redoing some stuff?
I know. Madness.
It's Amazon themselves who removed all the Strange Publications and Aaron's books (something about a change in their policies). Aaron is trying to get them to reinstate them but no joy so far.
I'm only missing one book but I feel sorry for Aaron as he's spent most of the past year getting his catalogue onto Amazon. Hopefully all will be sorted soon.
Wait -- ALL of Aaron's books are gone too? WTF? Yeah, hopefully it will be sorted out soon.
That's...peculiar. And he has no idea why they took the books down? I sure hope this all gets settled soon.
All the best to Aaron, hope he gets it sorted. Apart from anything else, everyone in the world needs to own a copy of Strange Men...
I trust in Aaron, Robert :D
I'm sure they gave him some explanation, Tony. Whether it was one that made any sense or was right is another matter.
Nah, Simon. Everyone in the world just needs to own a strange man.
How odd. Sorry to hear this for both you and Aaron.
Well, I've been told I'm pretty strange. And it's only a short commute to Liverpool, I suppose... :P
Thanks, Deborah
Oh, I could never own you, Simon. You're too much of a free spirit.
Scary. Amazon have too much power.
True.