My sister in law gave me some of the best advice I have ever been given on how to be happily married. At the time she gave it to me she had not even been married yet, and is also almost 15 yrs. younger than me. So what was this advice? She told me to accept my husband who he was.
Now I don't know about you, but as a woman that was SHOCKING to me. Try not to improve the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with?
We had many years of fighting and trying to figure out how to get along. We tease now that the only reason we don't fight like we used to is because we are just too tired and old to fight anymore. But the truth is I kept hearing those words, "Let him be him." The more I tired to back off and try to understand why he said or did certain things the more I began to understand and appreciate him. In fact, it was only then did I realize how really funny and wonderful my husband was. That he actually could handle life on his own without my input and that he was a better human in ways I had never thought to be. Seems I'm not always right! Go figure?!
Have you heard? Jack Sprat could eat no fat. His wife could eat no lean. And so between the two of them, they licked the platter clean. Or even the saying "opposites attract"?
Recently we have been stocking our new camp trailer, getting it all supplied with the necessary equipment needed for our new adventures. My husband was looking for the camping fold out table, when he asked me where it was. I replied, "you mean that one we won at the company Christmas party yrs ago. The one we never even used yet?" He says "yeah". I had to remind him that HE HAD GIVEN IT AWAY! As we continued to look for things I had to keep reminding him that he had gotten rid of the items he was looking for.
Now instead of getting upset about having to go out and buying these things again, I stopped and thought about who he was. He was a man who came from a home were his mother kept everything, and things where not always put away or even kept in an organized way. Me? I had a mother who NEVER kept ANYTHING! She didn't even have knick-knacks in our home because they were considered clutter. So for me I keep things around like the camping stuff because even though we don't use it everyday, I know we will use it when we go camping. But when my husband decides to clean he starts throwing everything away.
This made me realize we really balance each other out. He keeps me from collecting too much, and I help him have more toys and things to play with. LOL.
So you see, if I tired to make him change to my way, we'd probably need a bigger house, and garage. But, if he tired to change me, he'd have no toys and things to play with.
Being opposites is a good thing for us. We compliment each other, we keep each other balanced, and definitely we keep each other guessing.
2 Comments on Some Of The Best Advice For Marriage, last added: 11/1/2011
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that is so true....I always say marriage is hard work..never mind the inlaws, siblings & friends...but when you marry young as I did you actually grow up in your marriage! I truly beleive opposites do balance each other... its just getting through those early years as you say.
Oh Denise you are so right! Yes, inlaws, siblings..... wow, I have forgotten about those from the early days. Oh my. Yet, we made it. Now we are like a good wine, aged with yrs.