How to use this Page

SCENES FROM REAL LIFE
A SHORT PLAY-ETTE: "HAIRDRESSER"

SCENE: HAIRDRESSER SALON. IT'S A UNI-SEX SALON SERVING BOTH FEMALE AND MALES. A FEMALE CLIENT IS SITTING IN THE CHAIR AS A STYLIST BLOWS HER HAIR DRY. THE STAFF IS OF GREEK HERITAGE


CLIENT
Hi there! Know I'm early.

HAIRDRESSER
Hi sweetie. Be with you soon.

CLIENT
D'ya want me to waste time until you take me? I can wander around the pharmacy next door. Need a few things anyway...how long should I take? Five minutes?

HAIRDRESSER
Make it 10 - no 20...

CLIENT
Sure. Can't stay there longer, though. Last time I was getting some wierd looks like I was a prospective shop lifter.

(female client returns 10 minutes later)

HAIRDRESSER
Another five minutes, okay sweetie?

CLIENT
Fine. Quiet today, huh?

PETER (MALE STYLIST)
Been quiet all week

CLIENT
People aren't making appointments for the holidays?

PETER
(glumly)
Very quiet...

HAIRDRESSER
Okay sweetie. Come sit in the chair. I'm ready for you, now.

CLIENT
Same color like always

HAIRDRESSER
Eyebrows too?

CLIENT
Yup

HAIRDRESSER
I don't know why you want to dye them. There's hardly anything there.

CLIENT
(chuckling)
Geez - thanks. You sure know how to make a customer feel good!

HAIRDRESSER
I meant, of course, that you hardly have any grey in your eyebrows

CLIENT
True...but sometimes a few sneak through

HAIRDRESSER
You could just pluck them

CLIENT
Much easier to color them and besides, I end up taking off chunks of skin with the hairs. Nothing like walking around with red scabs on your eyebrows

(CLIENT is sitting in chair, reading magazine with hair covered in dye)

HAIRDRESSER
Haven't had a full cigarette all day

CUSTOMER
Healthier for you. Progress - the magazines are up to the year 2009 now.

HAIRDRESSER
I'll be back. Need some nicotine in my blood

(Hairdresser leaves salon to smoke. Stella, another hairdresser, sits in chair next to customer. Other hairdresser returns from her nicotine break and cuts the hair of a male customer)

STELLA
Did you notice how thin blank-blank (name of hairdresser) is?

CLIENT
She's lost a lot of weight... 'Hey blank-blank (HD) - how come you lost so much weight?'

HAIRDRESSER
I dunno. Nerves I guess - and hard work. Been busy and sometimes I skip meals

CLIENT
Not a healthy practice. Wow - I never saw you so skinny. Sure you're okay? I mean, no health problems?

STELLA
She's too thin! She should gain some weight!

HAIRDRESSER
I eat healthy, that's why I'm slim - not skinny! Don't eat junk food

STELLA
(who is on the plump side)
Me neither - and look at me! It's just not fair! I watch what I eat and even work out 5 days at the gym and still I don't lose a pound! Some people are soooo lucky!

CLIENT
Why don't you try writing down everything you eat for a day or two? Maybe you don't even realize. You have to watch portion size

STELLA
I do, I do! Look at me! It's just so unfair! Blah-blah on the other hand is too skinny, don'chu think? She doesn't have a bum anymore or boobs

HAIRDRESSER
Are you two talking about me?

CLIENT
We're discussing your weight loss, girl!

STELLA
You gotta gain weight! Really!

CLIENT
Where is Stavros (salon owner)?

STELLA
He went to Ikea to buy a stand so we can make real coffee. Send a man to get something and he takes hours to make a choice. Who knows what he'll come back with

CLIENT
(looking around)
I don't see a coffee maker, here. Since when did you get one?

STELLA
He's hidin