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My son, Max, turns ten at the end of the month. In December 2011, only about a week and a half after his youngest brother, Elliot, was born, we rushed Max to Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri because of blood in his stool, a positive test for malicious bacteria, and some joint pain. Five days, several blood tests, a colonoscopy, and sundry medications later, Max was discharged with a diagnosis of Crohn's disease.

He's had struggles over the last four years, little Crohn's/Colitis related things that anyone familiar with this monster will know well. Things took a nose dive this past December, and between mid-December and the end of January, Max spent five weeks in the hospital. The doctors tried new meds and more meds, but in the end, my almost ten-year-old had his colon removed on January 20th. All of it.

I do not like to live in fear. Show me the monster, and I will meet it head-on. Now that Max has had a very necessary surgery, he's living with a "temporary" colostomy bag. Temporary in quotes? Yes. He's had one subsequent surgery to resection/restructure his small bowl, and we should have another to "reconnect" his "parts" down the road. Here's the fear and frustration part: his GI specialist and surgeon disagree as to the timing of this final surgery. The GI doctor is full of "what ifs" and "possible problems." Talking to him is a lesson in bodily horror, something with which I struggle, both as a writer and a human. Yes, there are possible problems if we reconnect. The surgeon is more optimistic. Neither agree--neither have even spoken to each other as of this writing--but we are faced with a decision: When to do the final surgery.

I do not like to live in fear.

I've learned all too well that life will bring tragedy regardless of what we do. I lost my father to brain cancer, my first wife to postpartum psychosis, and Max has this awful disease. None of them "asked" for it with dangerous living. This isn't another story of someone "getting what he deserves." I cannot and will not believe in a prosperity gospel when two good, caring adults and one innocent child face such monsters. Bad things happen to everyone, and we are defined by how we respond.

So what to do about Max? In two hours, I'll listen to his surgeon make a case for re-connection. Max has expressed his lack of love for the bag--something that if things do not go well after re-connection, he may have to live with, anyway. I've always been one to steer into the storm rather than trying to run. The storm is coming either way, and when we lie to ourselves about having control... well, that's a fast track to fear.

I will not live in fear.

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Check out some of Max & Bella's, Rufflife Mascots, fun experiences on tour in the South of England.

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Watch Ruff Life Mascots - Bella & Max's Pesky Moment at Loughborough GCR.

Come and see us at The Solent Shopping Centre Kids Club, Portsmouth, PO6 4TP, Thursday 30/07/2015

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We can hardly wait for the super hero humanoid, canine mascots Bella & Max to arrive. We've been planning the area and the activities we're going to film first before we leave for our crazy week at the end of July / beginning of August starting off with:

The Felixstowe Carnival - Sat - Sun
Teddy Bears Picnic - Tues - Wed
Port Solent - Marina Shopping Centre - Thursday
Bournemouth Fun Day - Saturday

So if any of you are in the vacinity of theses areas - we'd love you to pop down and day hello to the Ruff Life Mascots.

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Someone who read my book, Life with Jesse Daniels, emailed me and asked if I put my giant malamute Max in my book under the name "Manny." My book, of course, is pure fiction; but if you've read it, you may be wondering this as well, so I'm going to attempt to explain. The short answer is: No.

But it's complicated.

I wrote Life with Jesse Daniels in 2006, during my last semester in college. My Max is only 3 years old today. When I got him, I was not actively looking for a giant malamute just because I wrote about one in my book. I stumbled across an ad for him. His first owner had a stroke and could no longer handle him due to his large size, and the fact that he was expected to get bigger. My husband always wanted a large dog, and — being taller than your average Great Dane — this one was perfect. So we brought him home.

He was ten months old and had zero training. He was hyper and could not even sit on command. He could not fit in the largest kennel at Petco, so we had to order a jumbo for $200+.

He was taller than our couch.



His original owners kept him outside so he wouldn't destroy their house. They told us he'd terrorized his neighbor's ducks. To us, he had to be an indoor dog.

He could not fit in the tub. The first bath was a disaster because, well, he's stronger than me, and he could barely even fit in the bathroom.

And ever since, he grew taller. He is actually the tallest malamute our vet has ever seen. Even taking him to the vet is a task, because it's nearly impossible to get him in the Jeep. His head comes up past our extra-tall baby gate, making him about 42" tall.

But oddly enough, he acts just like Manny in my book. He is mischievous. He loves his treats. He loves his ball (he's destroyed several). He sticks his nose in everyone's business, and — Max, at least — thinks he's a lapdog.

He also gets excited about, plays with, and chases nothing — every once in a while.

I'm sure it's just a coincidence that I stumbled upon him, but he's just like I imagined him. Well, aside from the obvious coat and color difference. lol (For the record, Max was born all-white; now he's cinnamon and white.)

So now you know — Max and I were just meant to be.

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Hi Everyone

Just a quick reminder that we are in the FINAL countdown for you to enter the FREE book competition to win the only signed copy of Ruff Christmas, the 6th book in the ground-breaking children's K9 spy, action Ruff Life series.

Don't leave it any longer! The link to enter is just below and the book is ready to mail as soon as the competition ends.

Good Luck  Bella & Max

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Christmas is coming and we are getting very excited at everything that's happening around here.

Everyone is mad busy preparing for 4 days of Christmas fairs of everything Bella and Max. there'll be Bella & Max cakes, Bella & Max snow globes, Bella & Max book marks, as well lots of fabulous coloured balloons with me and Max  printed on them. It's such a shame that he has to get in on the act; anyone would think he wanted to be a celebrity or something. But he should know by now that I'm the ONLY celebrity at Ruff Life. There'll be free sweets and a free colouring activity.  B R Tracey will also be there to sign 'It's a Ruff Life' books you buy.

If you're in Loughborough on 13th -14th December visit us at the Grand Central Railway, or on 20th - 21st December in the newly revamped Silver Arcade, Leicester.  Come along and join in the fun!

Don't forget to check out our cute sleigh ride Youtube video and to enter our FREE book competition to WIN Ruff Christmas, here's the link.

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Hi Everyone!

We've been told to tell you that if you want an extra special gift this Christmas you need to get you stakes on.

Time is getting really short if you want to be in with a chance to WIN the only signed copy of Ruff Christmas by B R Tracey: an edge of the seat adventure that's enjoyed by both kids and adults.

It's very entertaining and hilarious, a real page turner.  Enter NOW into the FREE competition to WIN this great Christmas gift.

The book is ready to be sent to you as soon as the competition ends, so that you get it in time for Christmas.

Don't forget to check out our fun Youtube Video - 'Sleigh Ride with Bella and Max'.

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We finally finished our fun, little Christmas video that has now been uploaded to You Tube.


Let us know what you think.

Don't forget you have less than 8 days to enter to win this immensely funny and exciting book, that your kids will love.  The link is below

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Hi Everyone

Bella and Max here from Ruff Life. Do you like our bellasome Christmas Sleigh?

Christmas is just around the corner, so they say, and we have a bellatastic FREE book promotion for you to enter.

We are giving away one signed copy of our crazy, new Christmas book - Ruff Christmas.  It's a full on action packed, comedy extravaganza that will have the whole family in stiches.

Below is the link for you to enter to win. It will make a great Christmas gift or stocking filler.

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Hi Everyone

The CMC Event in London was great, and Ruff Life got some brilliant feedback and 'exceptional bellasome' ideas of how we can grow even bigger.

We have been asked to come up with a cartoon script that a large international TV company wants to look at.  Who knows what else will come up in the near future.  Keep checking to find out.

Don't forget the Goodreads FREE book competition where you can win the signed copy of Diamond in the Ruff. There aren't many days left for it to run.  So enter now before it's too late!

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Things are going to go crazy at Ruff Life.  There are so many fantastic things happening. It means more work for me. But I don't mind doing anything to make me more famous.

I mean a girl has to do anything she can to get what she wants. And I'm a great achiever in getting what I want.

I want fame, fashion, limelight and a peaceful life without a nosy, smelly brother that's always interfering.  So far I've only managed the first 3.goals, I'm still working on the 4th, but Max doesn't get any of the subtle hits I leave for him. He's just one stubborn mongrel.

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The Sunday that has just passed was a great day; I got to see the first ever Ruff Life character Rover.  I hadn't seen Rover for a long time, but as soon as I walked in my friend's house, her beloved Golden Retriever, who I spent so many years walking when he was younger, struggled up on his back legs and came over for a hug, stroke and a kiss.

He's an old dog now and not able to get around very well.  He certainly couldn't get up to some of the crazy things he used to, but my eyes lit up as soon as I saw him.  We had spent many hours walking the fields of Rothley and Mountsorrel when my daughter attended Primary school.  Rover used to live at my house during the week and go back to my friend's on weekends.  This suited everyone as both my friends worked during the day.

Rover and I used to love our time together outdoors; we would meet up with other dog owners and the dogs would run off and play.  I miss those days. But life changed when my daughter went to high school and my friends' began a family of their own. I changed my job to work during the day, instead of at night, and my daughter, whose school was located close to where Rover lived, would walk him during her lunch hour.

He became a great inspiration for me, especially his unique and funny character traits that I've included in the books.  He's always been my canine hero, who is always affectionate and funny and he has made a terrific main character (Max) for the Ruff Life series of children's spy action books.

Whenever I pick up the books, especially the first one 'It's A Ruff Life', I am reminded of just how unique Rover is, and so really the biggest dedication for the success of the book series and everything else that is exciting and about to happen at Ruff Life goes ultimately to my beautiful four legged friend Rover.

B R Tracey

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Congratulations to our Goodreads' winner.  We hope you absolutely love It's A Ruff Life.

Thanks to everyone who took part. Don't worry if you didn't win because you can have a chance of winning the only signed copy of our second book Diamond in The Ruff.

I've been told that the Ruff Life team's been pulling out all the stops to get our phenomenal Christmas book ready - We'll let you know when to expect it.

Here's the Diamond in The Ruff link

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It's Crunch Time!

You have less than 13 hours to enter to Win the Only Author signed copy of It's A Ruff Life.

Click below to enter

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Things are really getting exciting around here.  We don't know if you're aware but... get this - we have launched our first 5 ground breaking comedic spy novels for ages 9-11. It's A Ruff Life, 2nd edition, Diamond in the Ruff, Ruff in Hollywood, It's A Ruff Life Dognapped! and Ruff Resort

The books are fast, furious, exciting, 'bellasome, bellatastic' and filled with pizazz, not to mention high class canine fashion.

Don't forget our Facebook like button at the top of this page

Click on the Amazon links at the side of this page and take a sneaky peek at what we've been up to.

Don't forget you can still enter the Goodreads competition.  The link is below and you have just 3 DAYS left to enter.


When you've done all that visit our website Ruff Life Online

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Max the Giant Malamute

As many of you know, I have a Giant Alaskan Malamute named Max. Something very odd has gotten into poor Max recently. At the ripe old age of 2 and 1/2, he is exhibiting some very strange behavior.

He has:

- Stopped prancing on the couch
- Stopped chewing DVDs
- Stopped peeing on the floor
- Stopped eating shoes
- Stopped scratching the carpet
- Stopped eating socks. STOPPED EATING SOCKS!!!
- Stopped destroying things. Anything. Everything. (I'm almost certain I am jinxing myself here.)

Instead he is:

- Taking orders from my 2-year-old. Sometimes even before he takes orders from me.
- Lying around like a very expensive throw rug (see photo above)
- Sniffing things and leaving them alone. Well, except for moose.
- Not eating socks. Come on, our feet don't smell any different....
- Super affectionate "good boy".
- And he doesn't step on my feet. (Too often.)

Like I said, very odd behavior. I'm almost worried. Almost.

I'm not entirely worried because he still steals my popcorn, so I know it's still "him" in that big goofy head of his. He hasn't been abducted by aliens or anything. Whew! 

You can follow Max on Facebook here.

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I feel another "significant" post brewing, but it will wait for another day. Today, I bring pictures from our recent trip to Rocky Mountain National Park and one of my favorite stories about Aimee.

National Parks were/are an obsession of ours--I still have our map of all National Parks hanging in the basement (with color-coded pins indicated which family member has been where). In 2000, Aimee and I took a road trip to Yellowstone and Grand Teton. We camped for five nights--four of them in Yellowstone--and enjoyed all the sights. The view of the Tetons from Jackson Lake... spectacular. We rented a boat, a small craft with an outboard motor, and headed onto the lake. The boat's owner gave us a bit of advice which caused contention:

Stay within a mile of shore.

Of course, Aimee (being the adventurous type she was), aimed the boat for the mountains and gave it the gun. My knuckles whitened as I clutched the gunnels.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Staying a mile away from shore like he said," she said.

"No. No. No." I glanced over my shoulder at the swelling waves. The tiny boat would easily capsize in the middle of Jackson Lake. "He said within a mile of shore."

She didn't agree, of course, but the look of sheer-animal-panic on my face convinced her to turn our ship around. Aimee and I weren't able to share enough National Park adventures before her death (could there ever be enough National Park adventures?), but the boys and I will keep going...

I hiked to Fern Lake early on Saturday morning, the date which would have been our 11th wedding anniversary. Aimee and I made the same hike on our 6th wedding anniversary (June 16, 2007), just over a year after Max was born. I was early enough to miss the crowd (it's a tough hike, but a popular one) and have some alone time with the lake, the trees, the mountains, and my thoughts.



Elliot was not impressed by the lack of oxygen above tree line.



Max, Owen, and I on top of the world. Okay, at least on top of a granite formation on Trail Ridge Road. 


Max and Owen showed me how to scramble on the rocks near a waterfall. Going down was easier than up.

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And I spent it in Colorado with my sons. Owen, Max, and I climbed rocks for a beautiful waterfall view, played our third round of mini golf, and snapped photos of a bull elk outside our cabins.

Pictures forthcoming. I promise.

Many folks have already read the article in yesterday's Lawrence Journal-World, but for those who haven't, here's the link: Lawrence Father Recounts Wife's Eight Year Battle...

Thanks to Karrey Britt and Nick Krug for their professionalism and care in putting Aimee's story together.

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Every summer, I go through a period of "existential crisis." Not a big, scary crisis as in "life has no meaning," but a baby one, as in "I no longer have a job to do and feel lost." I'm sure it's a common feeling for many teachers, although most might not choose the term "existential crisis."

Again, I defer to Wikipedia if you're unfamiliar with the phrase "existential crisis." While the wikis have their shortcomings, it is a good source of group think and common knowledge. Let's examine the first line of the entry:

An existential crisis is a stage of development at which an individual questions the very foundations of his or her life: whether his or her life has any meaning, purpose or value.

I'm not very fond of the word "crisis." It sounds too much like "emergency," as in, if you don't resolve this crisis, bad sh*t is going to happen. Soon.  Guess what... Bad sh*t has already happened.

I doubt there is any way to be truly prepared for a loved one's death, especially a spouse. Aimee and I chose not to include a unity candle lighting at our wedding because we both felt the idea of two people becoming one was a bit old-fashioned. Here's what I learned after nearly eleven years of marriage: you will become pretty damned entwined with your partner. If not exactly "one" flesh, the you learn the other's moves before he/she makes them. Losing Aimee has caused a major rift in my thinking about myself and my place in the world--in addition to the pain and grief of her death.

All relationships change over time, regardless of how intimate the relationship. But most changes are gradual, even if at times marked with periods of sudden, but small shifts. A death is a sudden, violent change. Think a football thrown to a receiver--the ball follows a perfect, arcing path to its target, and then a defensive player reaches up to tip the ball, sending it into an awkward, end-over-end spin out of bounds. Or think of what might happen to a planet should another object knock it from its orbit.

I'm out of my orbit. I'm the football tumbling out of bounds. Sure, I have plenty of meaning in my life--right now my boys, especially Owen and Max, need me to be emotionally present. Elliot's needs are fairly simple (although ever-present). Fortunately, he's going to day care during the summer to keep a consistent schedule. The other guys really need me right now.

And that is good--it is as it should be.

But my life, my meaning, is more than father to those boys. I've spent so long as Aimee's friend, lover, partner, and yes, caretaker, that I have to reexamine myself. And by "have to" I mean I have no choice. The change has come, regardless of my wishes, and here I am.

So this year's existential angst (a little more accurate than crisis) brings a good measure of "who am I, now?" with an eye toward the future and "what will my life be like a year from now?"

Baby steps, Aaron. Baby steps.

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This week I got a lovely package in the post - a whole heap of goodies that accompany the children's motivational book 'Why Am I Here?'. I illustrated and did the layout for the book in 2009 for Simon and Schuster bestselling author Matthew Kelly.

Author of several NY Times bestselling motivational books for adults and top class motivational speaker, this is Matthew's first book for children, published by his own publishing company: Beacon Publishing. Matthew is head of a phenomenal organization and the book itself has sold thousands already. To go along with the book his foundation has developed a whole teaching pack, including dolls, lesson plans, posters ... and I worked on the design  and layout of everything you see in the photo ... including the packing boxes and hang tags on Max the doll. It was great fun, and even more fun to see it all together like this ... I feel quite proud!

So here's how you can win a goodie bag ... please be a follower of my blog and leave a comment on this post and you will be in the draw to win one of three packs including the book. Max the doll, pencils, badge, fridge magnet and a couple of other goodies! Good luck.



Other goings on in the life of The Wacky Brit ... next weekend on my way to the NE SCBWI conference in Fitchburg. Going to be entering the poster showcase again (last year I won 2 places, I am not expecting to replicate that though!). Here's my entry (this year we had to recreate a landmark children's book cover)
If your going, come say hello :-)


Meanwhile, working my way through the finals for the 'Hidden New Jersey' book for Charlesbridge Publishing. I love it when I get to the colouring stage, that's the most fun. The deadline is mid June so It's coming up shortly.

And in between I am putting together the school project for the local elementary school 4th grade that they have illustrated and written (it's about The Seasons in Maine).

So - heck it's been busy. Trying to stick to a good routine of bed early and up early. A bit like being a long distance runner .. pacing oneself.

Right I'm off - hope you will enter the competition!

Toodles
Hazel
aka The Wacky Brit

Lot's of book on the bedside table ... too many to mention right now.

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Flying Poodles, A Christmas Story is now available from the author's website and will soon be an iPad app. Karen Morss ,the talented author, wanted you all to have color pages as well.

The free downloads of the POODLES are now available online.  This is little Max, one of eight flying poodle dogs. You can download and color all 8 doggies and a couple of extras at
FLYING POODLES COLOR PAGES

This is little MAX. He is wearing a hand knitted nose warmer. You will need to read the book to find out why.

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