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Congratulations on all your accomplishments! Just keeping one foot moving in front of the other must be hard many days when a big part of your life dies. Opening your heart and life to others will be healing to many people. I look forward to reading your book.

Hi Cindyja - woke up to my wonderful interview. Jodi and WOW did a fab job. But that shouldn't surprise me. They always do.
I am forwarding the links to all my friends while drinking my coffee. The dogs are jumping around my feet wanting out, but they have to wait a minute while I take all this in. Thanks for your comment and I hope you will read my book. I think it will make you smile. Barbara

Barbara, Thank you for your courage to share your experience. I, too, am a widow, a poet and writer and sometimes it is hard to share this journey with strangers. People in our culture are in denial about grief and the weird twists and turns it can take. I tried to date too soon and found I couldn't handle listening to other people's problems. I just wanted to be whisked away, not brought back to reality!

I have also considered self-publishing my memoir as I have lost patience with the submission process. I love the fact that the book would be in my control. I am curious if you have found other ways to market your book, besides the usual bookstore signings, such as grief groups or women's groups.

Hi Wendy - I understand completely not being able to handle other people's problems. Initially I found I could be out for only 4 hours, then came home to sleep. I was lucky my good girl friends kept me laughing. I did find I was not quite the caregiver I had been with other family members. I needed to dwell on how to deal with me, and they understood. Being more self-centered on my needs was strange for me, but I had to do it. I was still there for my family, but I put me first. It turned out good for all of us.
My book was released on april 12th. I have been marketing online mostly. I approached two book shops about a signing and they are reading my book to see if it fits their niche market. I found a great publicist, very inexpensive, in Florida, who is helping me market. Did my YouTube video, just took my book to a library convention, and has me online on his blog and facebook page. http://www.pageonelit.com/interviews/BarbaraBarth.html
He has been great. And only $250 for a lot of good work.
This is all new to me and I am on the computer every night reasearching where to market my book. I am on quite a few writing blogs and have several of my own. Doing it all myself is hard work, but it is great to learn the ropes.
I am having my own book lauch with Animal Action Rescue on June 26th. No one has done it for me, so I am taking charge. I've invited our local writer's club to participate. Will be in their newsletter and that goes to 2300 subscribers, so will be good press no matter what.
Don't be afraid to self-publish. An agent can always pick you up-but it is very rewarding to see your work in print the way you envisioned it. Did I say enough. I am a big talker. Thanks for your comment, Wendy. Hope I helped. Barbara

Sounds like a fantastic book to read and then pass on to my widowed mother. Sometimes I think there's more to be learned from someone who really has had to deal with loss, than a paid professional. To know someone else has been there too makes things a little easier. I'm in the beginning stages of working out a fictionalized version of my father's death, and it's so cathartic to get those deep feelings out in the open to purge them once and for all. Thank god for writing...

I would love to win a copy of Barbara's first book, Good luck Barbara!

People should be aware that writers who use Outskirts Press are NOT self-publishing, but are customers of a vanity publisher.

Vanity publishers often produce ugly, unedited, overpriced books that are seldom reviewed or sold in stores.

Outskirts often does terrible editing and promotional work for its authors. The company frequently lies to get business and makes many stupid mistakes.

Here's a link to comments from a very unhappy Outskirts author: http://bookmakingblog.blogspot.com/2009/12/outskirts-press-editing-is-like-no.html

Michael N. Marcus

president, Independent Self-Publishers Alliance, http://www.independentselfpublishers.org

author, "Become a Real Self-Publisher: Don’t be a Victim of a Vanity Press," http://www.amazon.com/dp/0981661742

author, "Stories I'd Tell My Children (but maybe not until they're adults)," http://www.amazon.com/dp/0981661750
http://www.BookMakingBlog.blogspot.com

http://www.SilverSandsBooks.com

Hi Michael - I was aware of the negative comments on Outskirts Press before I decided to go with them. If you google them, you can't miss it. My experience with them was wonderful. It was more expensive then some I researched, (i.e. Lightening Source) but they did a lot of the work for me. I did not have to submit a print ready file, which for me, the technophobe, was a big deal. I just sent a terrible word doc with all my instructions right down to photo placement and font changes at the beginning of each essay. My package allowed my own cover and a commercial designer friend submitted a print ready pdf for the cover. My book is available on Amazon, Kindle, and Barnes & Noble, which I like. The leg work to get it noticed now is mine. I don't expect Outskirts Press to work past what they have done nor did they represent they would. They do send me daily marketing e-mails which I ignore. I'm on my own path.
My finished product will hold its own againt any big publishing house. I've been complimented on its looks (the content, my writing, is to be determined by the reader)by a literay agent in NYC who thought it looked pretty slick. Can't ask for a better words than that.
The rep Outskirts Press assigned to me was wonderful. Friendly and professional. I don't know how she had the patience for my stupid questions, but she answered everything almost by return e-mail.
A class I took at Emory by a well known author pointed me to print on demand. Outskirts Press was my POD choice after I researched the different companies. If you are not in the top percentage with a traditional book publisher you can still be on your own.
I can only go by my own experience and it was wonderful. Outskirts Press stood by what they initially advertised and then my rep gave a little more.
I am a member of the Atlanta Writer's Club and have taken marketing courses and have had a NY Times best seller author critique my work.
The hardest part, I had to do my own edits. And I am terrible with punctuation. That was a time consuming, but learning, experience.
The term "vanity press" devalues the quality of the writing as well as the look of the book. I would go this route again. I am marketing like crazy. I have a professional looking product that everyone likes.
I do have a hurdle with retail book sellers and I am working on that. I have set my pricing for retail dealers to be competive with the big boys. Same standard discount, and a return program.
I personally believe in online marketing and I am doing that. Last book siging I went to at my favorite book store here had twelve people in attendance. We ate tea and crumpets. Good news, I bought three other books from the shop, not the book they were promoting.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I am happy and think Outskirts did a beautiful job for me. Barbara

I did Pointer rescue for a decade. I think the most I ever had at one time was twelve. You must take very good care of your dogs to have a 14 yr. old.

Dogs are good at drawing us out of our grief. They still demand to be fed, walked, loved. You are lucky to have them.

I would like to win your book.

[email protected]
http://blog.stephaniesuesansmith.com

One piece of advice just hit me between the eyes..."Worrying what others think will paralyze you." Absolutely! I needed to remember this at this moment. Thank you!

Also, thank you for what you are doing for our four-legged friends. We need more folks like you!

Can't wait to read your book. It sounds great.

I read the excerpt on Amazon and this is a MUST READ book! Normally, I'm all for fictional dective stories and mysteries, but for Barbara, I'll make an exception. The excerpt I read was so well written, informative, and she just drew you into her story!

Smiles~
Marilyn

Hi Stephanie - everyone wants to come back as one of my dogs. I had a 95pound German Shepherd that lost the use of his back legs and was incontinent. He lived out his days happily taken care of. I learned to move him with a rear end sling. He actually had acupuncture. He road in a wheel barrow. He was a happy camper. Jake is a part of my book, he kept me a bit of a caregiver after my husband died. I'll do most anything for my dogs. Twelve dogs is a lot of wuf wuf. Six is about my limit at the moment. Good for you with Pointer rescue. Those dogs grab your heart. Thanks for the nice comments. Barbara

Thanks Marilyn for such kind words! Barbara

Hi Joann - I think unless you personally deal with the loss of a loved one you can't imagine what it is like. I had been blessed most of my life with little death around me. So this was a definate eye opener. Paid professionals have their place and can be very helpful. I chose to dump on my dear friends and was fortunate to have a good support group that first year. I have a best friend who hangs with me on the phone still. For me I chose not to go the professional route, but each person has to make their own decision on that. I bought a vintage corvette, started dating too soon and rescued dogs and kept my journal. It is whatever gets you through the night, day by day. I hope your mother is doing well. Keep that bond with her because support of your family and friends, even way after the fact is so important. Barbara

Hi Linda - I think my dogs rescued me. I have to thank them! They are a riot to be around. Five in less than a year, and my old girl. They are all great buddies and we are couch potatoes some nights. Thanks for commenting here. Barbara

Hi Lizzy - if you don't win the book I'll let you buy it!!! Thanks for leaving a nice comment and the good luck wishes! Barbara

I look forward to reading your book. I know several people recently who have lost husbands, my mother-in-law among them. I live with the everyday fear that my husband won't wake up. He has a congenital heart problem that is progressively getting worse despite treatment. Congratulations on working through the pain and grief. I admire you greatly. :)

I enjoy Barb's blog and am looking forward to reading her book!

Barbara,
Seven years ago, my husband passed away suddenly at age 39. How does one react when you lose the one you share your life with? I acted recklessly several times, and I'm sure my attitude was misconstrued by those I worked with.

Like you, I wrote several essays about my escapades. It was a time of personal growth and loss, but I learned that life continues, and because one part of my life disappeared, I didn't need to feel like I'd lost my entire life. I still had goals and needs, and I did what I needed to make a devastating situation tolerable.

Congrats and good luck with your blog tour. I'll be tagging along!

~~Annie

We need to start a Barbara club! I admire your pluck. You definitely personify making lemonade out of lemons life sometimes hands us.
I am a studio painter and give art works to SPCA and other animal rescue groups to support their valuable work. PBS in our area showed a program last night on the bond between pets and people, you should have been one of the interviewees! I laughed over your comment on your "six pack."
Best of luck on your book tour. I know you will have fun. I hope you will keep on journaling so you can share what a book tour is really like.

It's always nice to hear about people who have suffered loss and come out the other side of their grief successfully. Writing can be a great catharsis and I'm happy to see you turned to it rather than so many other more self-destructive things in which you could have lost yourself.

Good luck promoting your book. My sincere wishes that you do well. I look forward to reading your work.

Aw, what a great idea for a book, and a great lesson for kids.

Thanks for stopping by, Lindsay. I'll be reviewing this book pretty soon.