by Margaret Norton
“You should write a book,” my friends said to me after reading my journal. In 2004, eight people I knew died, including my mother-in-law and brother. As 2005 began, I was paralyzed with grief. A counselor suggested I write about my feelings. Cheaper than therapy, I thought. I went from journaling to writing a book, with nothing in-between. I didn’t know that this would be one of the hardest things I ever did.
Once I started transforming my journal notes into a manuscript, I knew that I was in over my head. In my middle fifties, it had been many years since I attended school. I knew little about writing. This can’t be much harder than doing a church bulletin or Christmas letter. But I was wrong. I immediately signed up for online writing courses and joined a local writers group. Then I started to look for an agent and a publisher.
It was difficult writing about my personal life. I relived the experiences I wrote about. Sometimes this was fun, but mostly it was painful. I found myself doing a lot of deep soul searching and self analysis. I had made a lot of mistakes. Why? I wanted to know. Eventually, I discovered the positives in my story and felt that others could benefit from my experiences.
Even though I was willing to share my life with others, some of the people in my book were not ready to have their actions revealed in such an honest and permanent way. It’s one thing to have disputes with your family--everyone does--but it’s potentially explosive when they find out you’re going to immortalize the family. Some family members and friends supported me, while others openly expressed their opposition. It was my story, but I was sensitive to the feelings of others. I changed the names of everyone in my book, as a courtesy to them. I left out personal, painful details that I felt would not dilute my message.
Writing is good therapy, but telling true life stories is hard. Even when you take the advice of experts and do what you believe is best; nothing prepares you for what happens once the book is published. Seeing it in print forced my family to deal with how they treated me, and the reactions varied greatly.
“Would you do it again?” I am often asked. Yes, I think so. It’s hard to honestly answer that question. I made a lot of mistakes--like picking the wrong publisher and not fighting for the cover I really wanted. I have thousands of hours and dollars invested; sometimes, I think maybe I should have lived abroad for a year, instead of writing my memoir. But then I get an e-mail from a stranger telling me how much my story touched them and the changes they are making because of my book. No, it’s not a bestseller, yet, but it does touch one person at a time. This makes it all worthwhile.
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I am so happy to launch my good friend and great author, Margaret Norton’s, blog tour today for her book, When Ties Break. Margaret Norton is a writer, speaker, personal life coach, and It Works! distributor. She blogs about her life at http://healthy-n-fitgranny.com. Her first book, When Ties Break: A Memoir About How to Thrive After Loss, is available as an e-book for just 99 cents on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com. In her spare time, she enjoys spending time with grand kids, reading, traveling, photography, and dancing.
**And even more exciting, Margaret is giving away fabulous prizes to go along with her Celebrate 60 blog tour and re-launch of her book. Here are details: **
Leave a comment on this post to enter into Margaret’s Celebrate 60 blog tour contest. Margaret is celebrating her 60th birthday by giving away three grand prizes: a 30-minute FREE life coaching session (by phone—for U.S. residents only), her memoir in paperback (for U.S. residents only), and her memoir in e-book (for anyone!) format. Each blogger participating in the tour will randomly select one winner from all the comments and enter that name into the grand prize drawing. Margaret will contact the three grand prize winners for their choice of prize the week of 2/27 and announce winners on her blog on March 2.
***For extra entries into the contest, please tweet about the contest, using the hashtag #Celebrate60 OR tweet about why you love being the age you are! (Don’t forget to use the hashtag.) Anyone who tweets with #Celebrate60 will get an extra entry into the contest for the three grand prizes. Any questions? E-mail ME, Margo, Margaret’s publicist, at margo (at) margodill.com .
Now here’s a guest post from Margaret herself!
Never Give-Up on Your Dream to be a Writer
Several years ago, at the age of 58, I published my first book. It was the first thing that I had written – except for church bulletins, family Christmas letters, and business correspondence – in 35 years. During my book tour, I did a signing in the town where I attended high school and had lunch with my best friend from the 9th and 10th grade. My contact with her had been sporadic through the years for various reasons. As we spent time together and talked about school events, memories came flooding back. She told me that in the 9th grade I had wanted to be a writer.
Wanted to be a writer? How did I forget that? What happened to that dream? How did I get so far off course? My working life included a combination of owning my own businesses, working for non-profit agencies and 17 years trying to climb the corporate ladder. There was very little writing and very little encouragement to develop my creativity. I married young, had a family, and then divorced. And repeated that several times. Life got in the way. I needed to earn enough money to raise my family and sought jobs with the highest income potential rather than following my heart. My life came to an abrupt crossroads in 2004 after the death of eight individuals connected to me.
Write to heal is what my therapist suggested. During the first few months of 2005, I poured all my thoughts onto paper. Why did bad things happen to good people? One thing led to another. I found myself going all the way back to my childhood,
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By: Annie,
on 7/28/2010
Blog: WOW! Women on Writing Blog (The Muffin) (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
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Blog: Margo Dill's Read These Books and Use Them! (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
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Today, I’m so excited to tell you about this book When Ties Break: A Memoir About How To Thrive After Loss by Margaret Norton. I’m so excited because this is a book that I helped Margaret edit from its first manuscript stages, and now it’s a reality. It’s official release date is August 3 from Tate Publishing, although you can already order it here from their website. (Once you are on Tate’s website, click search our store in the left-hand side bar, and then type in When Ties Break.
But there are even cooler things about this book besides the fact I saw it in its early stages! When I decided that not only would I talk about children’s and YA books and education issues on this blog, but also I wanted to share ways to help women and children around the world, I knew Margaret’s book would be a great addition to that goal. You can read Margaret’s book When Ties Break and really use it (the purpose of this blog, of course!). You can learn from her life story. You can see how someone actually took terrible situations and turned them into positives. You can see how someone made it through those tough life transitions, and you can do all this by reading her book! That is what is REALLY so cool about Margaret’s book.
*****What’s even better is that she has agreed to give away one PDF copy of her book to a lucky winner. To enter the contest, all you have to do is leave a comment or question for Margaret below. One person will be randomly chosen from these comments. Contest ends Friday, July 9 at noon CST.
So, what will you learn about in Margaret’s memoir? Well, here are just some of the issues that Margaret has faced and learned from in her life: sibling abuse, family estrangement, spousal abuse, abortion, divorce, death of loved ones, drug recovery, financial duress, illness, sexual exploration, and career change. If you are experiencing or struggling with any of these issues or know someone who is, Margaret’s memoir can serve as a guide through these difficult times. And she made it through with her faith. When Ties Break is a memoir that explores the universal themes of loss and recovery, and answers the question: “Why do bad things happen to good people?”
In the foreward, Janet Grace Riehl, author of The Sightlines collection, states: “Margaret turned the lessons gained during a tumultuous life into a source of wisdom for women struggling with past pain and future directions.” So, if you have a question for Margaret about any of the issues she faced, writing a memoir, or even about her life coaching business (Life Transitions), leave it in the comments, and you might just win a free copy of the book. We’ll also just take comments or even “PICK ME!”
(By the way, did you know you can read PDF copies on a Kindle? Just found that out–so maybe I’m behind the times!)
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I have known Margaret for a few years now. She was one of my first real editing clients, and I worked with her on When Ties Break. When I was first reading her story, I was like: "How could all this happen to one person? She has to be making this up." But it did, and she is still here today to tell her story and hopefully help other women stuck in situations they need to get out of. But what I admire most about Margaret is that she is one of those special people that doesn't take NO for an answer. IF she doesn't like something in her life, she is always looking for a way to change it and she acts on it. She doesn't sit by and complain! She is always reading and learning, and I think that's why she is a good life coach too. Great job, Margaret! Keep it up!
I wasn't prepared for the rush of emotions that I experienced writing my memoirs. I identify with this more than a non memoir writer can understand. Kudos to you Margaret. This genre takes guts
No wonder women are so good at it :)
We can absolutely identify with you on the harshness of writing your memoir, Margaret. My husband and I are both alcohol and drug addicts, and twenty years ago we recognized this about ourselves and went through the 12 Step program.
The thing about the 12 steps is that you already go through the act of revisiting all your actions and confronting your mistakes. So, when we sat down to write our book, we at least had some practice bringing back these old memories.
While going through the 12 Steps ourselves, as well as sponsoring hundreds of others through them the past two decades, writing the book was absolutely fulfilling and healing for us. We hope it offers the same help to those who read it.
Margaret--Yes, memoirs are sometimes tough to write, but as you're composing them, you're reflecting and becoming stronger and working out things in your head (hopefully). Thanks for the post.