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STATUS: TGIF! And all the 1099-misc forms are done.
What’s playing on the iPod right now? Otra Día Más Sin Verte by Jon Secada
This is so bad but I found myself just laughing and laughing.
Enjoy!
Why Men do not Write Advice Columns
Dear Mike, I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband Allan in the house watching the Raiders game as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get Allan’s help.
When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor’s daughter. I am 45, my husband is 68, and the neighbor's daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He retired 14 years ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?
Sincerely, Sheila
-----------------
Dear Sheila: A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
Mike seems like a real helpful guy. I love his answer. Just wish I'd come up with something so clever when my gfriends ask me how to deal with such-n-such.
Why's she trying to work things out with him anyway?
What’s playing on the iPod right now? LANDSLIDE by Dixie Chicks
Considering all the chatter over the last two days, today has been relatively quiet. SFWA (Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America) did issue a statement. You can find that here.
Also, the Ashley Grayson agency blogged with their response.
On a wholly different note, I have a Friday funny—sort of. Do you remember my blogging about an Eddie Murphy movie being shot on our street about two summers ago? For two days in a row they had the extras and the movie crew filming. Sara and I remember it vividly as a car alarm kept going off incessantly. With our windows open on a nice summer day, it was all we could hear for two days running.
Can’t imagine why if you don’t remember. That was a year and a half or two years ago. I only remembered a couple of weeks ago when my husband said he caught the film while on an airplane trip.
The movie is called IMAGINE THAT and no, neither Chutney or I are in the film. In fact, I can’t imagine what they were doing on our street for all that time because in the film itself, there is a brief flash of the front façade of our office in the SH Supply Company building in the scene where Eddie Murphy is fumbling in his briefcase for something while driving. About 10 seconds later, the car drives down the alley behind the building.
Exciting stuff I’m telling you. Grin.
There is one big scene where Mr. Murphy dances on a concrete wall and there is a beautiful lit up staircase behind him. This leads to the bridge that goes over the railroad tracks and into lower downtown. Very noticeable by the bridge support which looks like a ship’s mast. (You can actually see that scene in the movie trailer.)
Well, that takes place right in front of the Platte River Park where Chutney and I often go walking on nice days.
Anyway, highly amusing to watch a movie set in Denver and in Lodo where our office is located.
Only a meager three months into the Vermont College MFA Writing Program and I've already discovered there are signs that indicate such enrollment. I'm up to ten so far, and I'd love to hear any others from my fellow classmates. So, here are the signs that let you know you're really doing the VC MFA program:
1. You know your public library card number by heart. 2. Your public librarians all know you on a first name basis. 3. Dust bunnies have overtaken your house. And you're okay with it. 4. Your living spaces are consumed with piles of books, notepads, writing implements and computers. 5. You develop a taste for convenience foods. 6. You need new glasses. But won't take the time to see your eye doctor. 7. You have to ice down your writing hand nightly. 8. Your friends stop calling. 9. Your spouse actually knows what a "packet" is. 10. So does your cat.
(but you're still smiling!)
Okay, any of your Vermont College students out there, let me hear what your signs are!
4 Comments on 10 Ways to Tell If You're a Vermont College Student..., last added: 10/30/2009
STATUS: The day has just begun but I’m hoping to really finish my entire To Do list before I leave tonight.
What’s playing on the iPod right now? I WANT YOU by Marvin Gaye
This is such a classic from the New Yorker on the marketing plan. It begins with an introduction from the unpaid intern who has replaced the promotion department at XYZ books.
Need I go on from here? Oh but I must! My favorite line is this one (coffee alert!):
“Once we get back from Frankfurt, we’d like to see you on morning talk shows like the “Today” show and “The View,” so please get yourself booked on them and keep us “in the loop.” If I’m not here—which I won’t be, since after the book fair I go on vacation for two weeks—just tell Jenni, my assistant, when she gets back from jury duty.”
Grin. All in good fun, certainly, but every day I’m happy for having our marketing director.
Enjoy and have a great weekend.
9 Comments on Friday Funnies, last added: 10/17/2009
I nearly snorted coffee out my nose when I read this paragraph:
"If you already have a blog, make sure you spray-feed your URL in niblets open-face to the skein. We like Reddit bites (they’re better than Delicious), because they max out the wiki snarls of RSS feeds, which means less jamming at the Google scaffold. Then just Digg your uploads in a viral spiral to your social networks via an FB/MS interlink torrent. You may have gotten the blast e-mail from Jason Zepp, your acquiring editor, saying that people who do this sort of thing will go to Hell, but just ignore it."
However, Daily Beast writers are to be encouraged to “exercise their narrative journalism muscles” through a tie-up with Perseus Books to produce books of no more than 50,000 words.
“People’s time spans are so short, they either want a short ‘nerve centre’ piece immediately, or they want a short book they can read on a plane,” she says. “A lot of stuff about the [financial] meltdown I would have liked to be marinated over three or four months, but I didn’t want to wait a year and a half.”
The model, which will be tested in January with a book by John Avlon called Attack of the Wingnuts, will be to launch e-books for Amazon’s Kindle or Sony’s Reader, and then to print paperbacks for titles that have sold well.
I'm telling you, this is what's blowing in the wind for fiction. The day is coming, and maybe it's already arrived, when fiction will move to the e-market. The overhead for publishing fiction is just too great.
It makes sense to only go to print with books that have legs (that is the ones that would walk off the store shelf).
As a reader, I am way more inclined to take a chance reading an unknown e-book on my Kindle than I ever would be to lay out 25 bucks at Barnes & Noble.
I preordered Stephen King's book, Under the Dome in hardback so I could have a first edition of it. He's that famous and I've been reading him since I was 18 years old. But I will never open that book to read it (just once to make sure all the printing is there!). I'll buy it again and read it on my Kindle. What that means is that I haven't bought his book as a book. I've bought it as a collector's piece. I've bought it for nostalgia. I would never pay twenty-five dollars for a book for reading.
The shift to e-publishing for fiction will be greatly noticed in 2010, and will pick up a great deal of pace by 2011. By 2012, only the most famous authors will be in print, and ten years down the road, only the Stephen King's and the John Grisham's will publish in book form, and probably only in hardcover, and probably only first editions--for the nostalgia-seekers.
Within ten years, there will be major e-book awards and major reviewers will be reviewing them--they'll have to or they won't have a job.
This will also allow the rise of independent publishing to one again flourish. Small publishers will be able to enter the market place as a result, and as a result we may once again see the rise of great literature.
Do I book myself on The View before or after Oprah? I assume there's an appropriate order? Madonn'! Did you see JA Konrath's post on his ebooks versus his print books and royalties? Eye opening.
Enjoy the weekend. We saw our first snowflakes (albeit wet drippy ones) yesterday in CT. And now for a Nor'Easter. Good day to stay home and read. Or write.
You clearly go on Oprah first... she'll propel you to the top shelf faster. You save the view for your second printing or maybe when you go to trade paperback. The View will get you a second fifteen minutes of fame. You should also finish it off by trying to get yourself booked for a cameo appearance on Californication on Showtime.
I never really got it, sports I mean. I never really understood how people find happiness in watching sports. I guess it's the identification, identification with a team and then vicariously going to war with them. I actually saw an obituary once that said,"...a long-time Saints fan..." In that person's case, the identification became the identity.
Myself, I've always been a loner.
Yet, I look at the picture in this post, and I assume that's Kristin holding up the, whatever it is... a banner I guess, and there's all these shiny happy people around her braving the cold together like a pack of frozen hotdogs. And I get a glimpse, just a split-second impression, of how it must feel to belong to a pack.
But then it disappears, and all I see is the ludicrous nature of it.
After all, it's not real. It's ephemeral and fake. The people are happy being together for the moment, but they would never really stand by one another. It's a brothel love affair. It's something that stands in the place of real belonging, and it reminds me of how alone I am in the world, how alone I always have been, and how alone we all are if we have to pay the ticket price for a momentary touch of it.
(Sorry, my dad grew up in Philadelphia, so I was born a Phillies/76ers/Eagles fan.)
wyowriter said, on 10/13/2009 9:55:00 AM
Hey Kristen! Went to last night's (Monday) game - what a heartbreaker, but worth every second! So when we got up to leave, I pointed out a brown-haired woman to my husband. He's really good with faces. I showed him your blog pic this morning...I don't want to sound stalkerish- but I think we saw you! Exciting for me - somehow I had convinced myself that you lived in my laptop. I thought you might get a kick out of being recognized- you're a celebrity! So that overly-pregnant chick that was weirdly staring at you as you were leaving - that was a blog fan!(and my husband thought it was entirely appropriate for a girl who asked for an old library card catalogue for a bday present would get excited over something like this). Rockies - next year, boys!
Hehe, I just love the picture! The whole peeking out thing going on. Glad you had fun! I have a hard time following sports for the simple fact I can only follow so many things in my life. But, I do LOVE to go to games when I can, they're fun even when I don't know what the heck is going on.
Gordon, I can't believe what I'm hearing. You're a guy, right? Sports bring people close together. For me, it's basketball. It's not my identity but anyone who knows me knows I'm in love with the team. There's almost nothing better than the feeling that comes when the [fill in favorite sports team here] win. My bad day all of a sudden turned good. My troubles, poof, gone! I'm doing a terrible job of explaining this but that's because the feeling in unexplainable! Yeesh.
Look at early elimination as a good thing. At least the Rockies won't have to experience the severe slaughter that awaits any team facing my Yankees in the World Series!
Anonymous said, on 10/13/2009 4:25:00 PM
Go Rockies all the way! Win or lose, I'm your fan :)
Since my last post was deleted by the great sports fan in the sky, just let me say, Madison, that, no, I'm not a guy. How could I be? I don't follow sports. I must be some other form of life.
So this comment doesn't have anything really to do with anything, but I had a question about the YA market and subject matter, and I thought who better to ask than you.
I've heard from some sources that gay/lgbt fiction is more accepted in the YA publishing houses and by the agents lately than it was, and then from other people I've heard that it's still a huge roadblock and can still really limit whether a book sells or even gets an agent. Do you have any thoughts or comments on this? I'm just wondering because I know ASH by Malinda Lo just came out, and it made me want to know if there were any other books like that around, or if that book is going to become the "token" lgbt book for the next several years.
I would really like to see lgbt plots and romances come up more in YA--and not as Huge Things or in books with a social agenda, but just as romantic sub-plots... Will that ever happen?
While I grew up in Omaha, I have been a Gothamite since 1997. NYers have a different mental flowchart than most Americans. Someone out of the ordinary? Is he harmless? Ignore. Annoying? Move away. Dangerous? Move very far away.
In Times Square, the nation's flystrip for whackoes... the "ignore" factor doubles. Myself, I might grin, but usually I just keep walking.
Lessee... mariachi bands (in full regalia!), and break dancers on the subway; a man doing the tango with a manequin, human statues in the stations; the "naked" cowboy and those stupid character costumes on the street...
And I enjoy it, even though I grumble, because it makes New York unique.
You almost left the house without wearing any pants. Yep. Last week was just that crazy-busy for me.
I'd turned in my second packet, received the feedback, and was working hard to get a revision done that was due today (as Kathi Appelt says, I was "writing like my fingers were on fire"). My head was filled with research ideas, dancing animals, an Italian educator, cats and a T-ball game (yes, it was crowded in there).
Amidst all this, I wanted to see my chiropractor. So, when his office called and said they could see me right away, I ran upstairs to change clothes. I got distracted with something while changing (can't recall what it was). Minutes later, I got to the top of the stairs and thought, "What am I forgetting?" I looked down and realized I wasn't wearing any pants. OOPS!!! Yeah. Working on my MFA keeps is keeping me just that busy...
0 Comments on Have You Ever Been So Busy That... as of 9/14/2009 2:09:00 PM
Mary Cronin, a fellow student (and fabulous writer) at VC, shared this video link with a group of us. It's just one of those "feel good" kinds of things that everyone should watch.
Not a Kindle person myself, yet, but my wife loves hers. She gets that first free chapter and if she likes it, presses a button. 30 seconds or so later, she's reading the rest of the book. Keeps her nightstand pile very low, too. My nightstand pile is teetering.
To Sarah Laurenson regarding the teetering nightstand: I'm so there. I asked my husband to build me a bookshelf headboard for my birthday last year. Seriously.
Ms. Nelson, I know others have also commented to this effect, but I'm really enjoying the little player that shares your iPod choice w/ us. Too cool.
As a person with a paper fetish, I considered myself the last person who would ever own a Kindle, but I have one and I love it—especially since I go through so many romances. There are some things that were only meant for paperback through: like cookbooks and children’s books!
Years ago, on my first ever backpacking trip, my husband and I did a summer hike in Kings Canyon National Park, in the Sierras. We were green as the meadows (experience-wise). Not one lick of overnight backpacking experience. But off we went, ready for adventure. Well, our first night out, all of our food was stolen by a very dexterous raccoon (he managed to untie the straps on our backpacks). The real miracle was that a bear didn't get to it first, as we didn't even hang our food (I said we were green) and we were in the heart of black bear country.
So there we were, the big adventurers, with no food. My husband gave out a big sigh and said, "Well, we'll just have to catch some grasshoppers." I was taken back. "I am NOT going to eat grasshoppers!" I declared. I had my limits. After he stopped laughing, he explained that he needed grasshoppers as bait to catch trout. Oh. Heh, heh. Yeah, bait. Good idea. (can you see why I married this man?)
So there we were, in the middle of a meadow, lunging around attempting to catch the feisty little critters. And they're quick! After what seemed like hours (probably more like minutes), we caught plenty enough for my husband to catch a nice dinner's worth of trout. Okay, that was a stretch. I didn't catch any. My husband had all the success. I just wasn't quick enough. But I still got to eat that night (again, see why I married this guy?).
Okay, how does this relate to writing, you might wonder? Well, I've discovered during my brief experience with Vermont College, that researching is a lot like catching grasshoppers. VC has a fabulous library, the Gary Library, which gives students access to multiple research possibilities. But sorting through all that's out there is a lot like catching grasshoppers. At least for me. I find myself spending hours of time and energy sifting through information, getting close, almost there, that grasshopper is j-u-s-t within my r-e-a-c-h, only to let it get away because the data isn't quite what I needed. Sigh...onto the next big juicy victim. At the end of my time, I might only have one, two or even no bits of information to add to my project, but it's what I have to do in order to survive. Kinda like catching grasshoppers that summer afternoon so many years ago.
So, for those who do research with academic papers, articles or non-fiction work (like this picture book project I committed to then realized I probably have six months of research to do before I can even begin to write), happy researching!
And remember, sometimes all it takes is one grasshopper to eat well.
0 Comments on Just Catching Grasshoppers... as of 8/25/2009 8:45:00 PM
STATUS: I hit the office early today. First up, a UK contract that needs to be reviewed
What’s playing on the iPod right now? ON THE TURNING AWAY by Pink Floyd
Just a heads up that I’m on vacation all of next week and therefore won’t be blogging. If I were smart, I’d do as agent Nathan does and have guest bloggers but I have to admit that I’m not organized enough this week to make that happen. So you’ll just have to live without for a week.
And to kick off the weekend, an excellent funny to share. It’s so juvenile but I laughed and laughed. Couldn’t resist sharing. I don’t know who thinks up these skits but this one is classic.
Enjoy!
16 Comments on Friday Funnies, last added: 8/9/2009
Ah, Just for Laughs Gags. This is an offshoot of the Montreal Just for Laughs Festival for stand-up comedians, and continues much in the vein of the old Candid Camera show. Some of their ideas are absolutely hysterical.
I'm so jealous. I mean, I'm right here, just a few hours away from some serious whitewater rafting, and yet I just can't seem to get there. Oh well. :)
OMG, I'm SO jealous! It looks like you guys had a blast. I've always wanted to go. Even my kids have gone (with my parents, no less!) but not me. Do you feel sorry for me? Yeah, well you should. I'll have to add this to my sooner rather than later "to do" list.
I've never been white-water rafting and these photos don't help me decide if I want to or if I'm terrified to do it. I hope to get the chance someday, but I'm sure I'll scream the entire time.
Good for you two hanging in. I did a white water rafting trip in the Rockies and it was terrifying to me. Luckily the guide took pity on me and tucked me in near the front of the boat and I never got thrown out. My feet were very tucked in and I held on very hard....
Hooray! Looks like fun. So much better than my first time, when i fell out, got sucked under the raft for a space in time, and made very painful acquaintance with some rocks on the way down the rapids... But, hey, that's what lifejackets are for. :) [You can see why i saved comment on rafting until AFTER you'd done it.]
Awesome pictures. My husband and I just got home from white water rafting on the Main Salmon in Idaho (class III and IV rapids.) It was our first time and it was incredible. I highly recommend it.
Now that I've done it, I can write it into my main character's activities, since she is quite the daredevil.
STATUS: Tomorrow is a holiday so I won’t be blogging. Have a great 4th!
What’s playing on the iPod right now? HOUNDS OF LOVE by Kate Bush
Oops. Perhaps I should have clarified yesterday’s statistics because requesting 15 sample pages from 52 queries sounds pretty great.
That is until you hear the explanation. Be forewarned, the real statistics are daunting.
So yesterday I read 52 queries. That is true. However, these 52 queries were set aside for me to read out of three weeks’ worth of queries.
On average, the agency gets 100 to 150 email queries a day. So in the last 21 days, we received 2,625 queries (using an average of 125 queries a day). Out of those 2,625 queries, Julie and Sara set aside 52 queries for me to read and review.
Out of those 52 queries, I asked for sample pages from 15 writers. In reality, I just basically asked for 15 sample pages from 2,625 queries.
Now before you die of heart failure, that’s probably not wholly accurate either. I know Sara has also been requesting sample pages and I actually don’t know how many she has requested from queries over the last 3 weeks.
So I’m guessing the total is more like 30 or 40 requests for sample pages out of 2,625 queries.
Now you know why I’ve spent so much time teaching you folks how to write that silly query pitch blurb!
And because I can’t leave you in doom and gloom right before the holiday weekend, just remember that ‘re’ is a drop of golden sun…
This put a huge smile on my face. I hope it does the same for you!
More than 200 dancers performed their version of "Do Re Mi", in the Central Railway Station of Antwerp. With just 2 rehearsals, it is a promotion stunt for a Belgian television program where they are looking for someone to play the leading role in the musical of "The Sound of Music".
31 Comments on 15 Out of 2,625 & Friday Funnies, last added: 7/24/2009
Whew, I read your post earlier and thought, wow - it was a good week!
The video was absolutely awesome - thanks for sharing it with us.
Hannah said, on 7/2/2009 6:37:00 PM
I was in Antwerp when they filmed that...saw a commotion around the station but tragically didn't go and investigate until it was all over! That'll teach me to put essay writing over satisfying my curiosity!
The numbers are ever so slightly less positive now...not that it matters because after all, if something is good enough it'll be picked up no matter how many other queries it's mixed in with!
sara said, on 7/2/2009 6:38:00 PM
Oh man, I was liking the odds of 15/52 a whole lot more! LOL! Goes to show how your hook needs to be completely, overwhelmingly awesome to stand out against those odds.
What makes a YA paranormal book stand out against such fierce competition? Do you see that market dropping anytime soon?
I thought that 15/52 seemed unusually high, even for a generous requester. Now I think we can all go back to freaking out over, and trying to figure out, how to be part of that less than one percent who even get a partial request.
Thanks for the feel-good video. Made me want to do the happy dance. And what a nice way to start the holiday weekend without worrying over impossible odds and dreary times. Have a wonderful weekend.
The video hit the spot. Happy Holiday. The statistic info also hit a different spot. Being in the sample pages group and not moving forward yesterday was discouraging. Now its kind of exciting. Being somewhere within the 30 out of 2,600 doesn't feel so bad. Also the explanation of the categories in yesterday's post proved very illuminating since I write YA. Thanks for the look into your world.
I've watched this movie every Christmas since I was about five... how could I have missed that hip-hop break in the middle? And what would Mother Superior think?
I didn't realize you had a filter system of others who read queries before you even looked at them. So, I wonder if having a contact(i.e. "so-and-so you know recommended I contact you") makes a difference. It sounds like those things get into your in-pile even if they're not something you accept. And you even recommended them to others!
No, Kristin is not easy, and Sara is not a rejection machine. (After reading 52 queries in one evening, you might be confused and forget the 2600--or think that is what you are doing at the time)
Happy 4th of July. I am going to beautiful downtown Jackpot, Nevada--the Fun Spot South of the Border. One of my friends lives there. She has a job at the casino counting the money that comes out of the slot machines.
Tori said, on 7/3/2009 2:13:00 AM
The only thing this makes me feel is more detremined. Ok, maybe a little freaked out as well, but I'm holding up ok. I already knew that agents request very little of the queries they receive. But there are many reasons for that. One: The writer sent a project to an agent that does not deal with that particular genre. Two: Story well written, but perhaps not right for the agent. Three: Query or sample pages were utter crap. And on it goes. Yes, the odds are against us, but when you think about it, it's not as nearly as bad as we think it is. All we need to do is focus on writing the best dang book we have in us. Then worry about agents.
Being a bit of a number nerd I had a thought....I read somewhere (Probably here or Nathan's, Jessica's or Janet's blogs) that a high percentage of queries are rejected straight out because the queryer basically didn't format or mentioned they'd killed their parents recently or put in a copy of their acceptance speech for the Booker prize - or some other horrendous faux pas. These mistakes are erased by reading agent blogs and seeing what makes them run howling for a pillow into which they can scream out the demons in their minds telling them to find said queryer and dismember their family.
My point being that to temper that staggering 99.5% rejection stat (15 from 2615). So in essence if 75% screw up their query with poor formatting, etc, that means it's actually 15-in-654 or 1-in-44.
I like those stats much better
Word verification: Gnaei - the noise a gnat makes when it sneezes
Speaking as a reader, as well as a writer, let's all be thankful agents are picky. I mean, what would it be like if half of those 2600 queries turned into published books? Egad. What tripe would be on the shelves at Barnes & Noble?
So far this summer, I've picked up and read 15 or 20 published books, read them all, and have enjoyed each read. Agents filter for the best interest of all.
Mariana said, on 7/3/2009 4:57:00 PM
Oh, dear... I really fooled myself on that. Thanks for the clarification, though. And have a great holiday!
Were those 2,625 queries from people who had never pitched before, or from the same people who write you a query letter every three weeks in the hope that THIS next time they'll figure out the secret formula that leads to a request for a sample?
I ask so I know how long to wait before trying to trick you into thinking I haven't pitched to you before.
I was so close too! Well, at least I get to feel special, being one of the 15 to be asked for pages (though now that I think about it, I believe I sent my query to Sara, so maybe I wasn't one of the 15).
Either way, seeing the stats gives me a boost of hope anyway (even if the answer was eventually "No thanks."). :)
STATUS: Chutney and I are heading to Central Park. Or maybe we’ll do Riverside today. Either way, I should take at least one picture of her in Manhattan. What’s a New York trip without one gratuitous Chutney pic?
What’s playing on the iPod right now? SILLY LOVE SONGS by Paul McCartney & Wings
Today’s funny courtesy of Sherry Thomas—who despite writing emotionally wrenching and beautifully written historical romances, has a keen sense of humor. Today’s post is perfect coming from her.
TGIF! Enjoy your day.
8 Comments on Friday Funnies, last added: 6/19/2009
LOL! Only Norwegians can figure out something like this. * Collapses*
Kate said, on 6/14/2009 7:01:00 AM
I love the rants. But I was confused about the last publishers' list....they still WANT this stuff? I was hoping your including "underbid" meant they weren't head over heels in love with the same old things. I was hoping you meant that's what they were seeing, but not what they were looking for. Confused.
Great video! Thanks for sharing. I live with an IT (worked with them too) and can state the same is true in reverse... "I left a pair of shorts on the floor, where'd they go?" "That was last week, check your drawer." "Wow, it's magic. They're even clean."
STATUS: I’m going to be on a plane all day tomorrow so no blogging.
What’s playing on the iPod right now? RIDE LIKE THE WIND by Christopher Cross
I should probably say Friday Inspirational as not all the videos or links that I share on Fridays are funny per se but that’s the tag label so I’m grouping them together.
I love the TV show Britain’s Got Talent. Last year, I shared the video clip of Paul Potts, a rather rumpled looking mobile sales men, auditioning by singing Nessun Dorma and just stunning the audience.
On April 11, 2009, a rather rumpled Susan Boyle decided to take on Simon and the Gang and sing I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserables. She did, indeed, dream a dream. Here’s the link as the clip couldn’t be embedded.
I admit. I’m a sucker. These types of moments make me tear up.
And speaking of dreams, an agent friend shot me an email to say that the Guys Lit Wire Blog is promoting reading for boys. They’ve learned that the LA County Juvenile Justice Center has no library whatsoever. Nada. Here they’re trying to rehabilitate these kids and they haven’t got a single book for them to read to show them other options for their lives. So the people running the blog are doing a two week drive to try to get the beginnings of a library for the juvenile prison there. Click here for info. They’ve got a wish list set up at Powell’s Bookstore and information for how to purchase and where to send the books, etc.
Because we all have a dream…
17 Comments on Because You Have A Dream--Friday Funnies Early, last added: 5/17/2009
Megan, Thanks for that link. Talk about not being able to judge a book by its cover!!! Speaking of books, thanks for the link to the library for the juvenile justice center, Kristin. I'm all over that.
Thanks! I love this industry! Great links and keep up the good work! Story will never succumb to the bottom line of profit margins and marketing requirements.
Kez said, on 5/15/2009 1:12:00 AM
My favourite from Britian's Got Talent so far this year...
Thank you for the information about LA County. I was born there and know something of its politics. It's important for information like this to become public.
Kids will read. This nonsense about the end of reading ignores the fact that the mind stays relatively the same from generation to generation. Whatever it was that started us writing is still imprinted in our childrens' minds. They just need something to start them off.
Thanks for the link to the Powells wishlist for the LA County Juvenile Justice Center library. I was very happy to see many of the books they'd listed were already sent! I added a couple of course. It was a lot of fun to send books from authors I knew, or that were edited by pals.
If 10 days might be 'too slow' to get a great manuscript/ author (who might hear back from someone else sooner, etc)...
do you think 10 days is too soon to expect/ hope to hear back from editors when your MS is out on submission, or does not hearing anything pretty much mean that your manuscript may not be picked up?
Thanks for any thoughts about this.
A Writer on Submission (by a fabulous agent, actually, so no complaints there at all).
I promised some ideas for teachers (and parents) on how to incorporate humor into a learning situation. Here's one that's fun to try:
Spelling Words: Incorporate spelling words into a joke, riddle or funny paragraph. Have each student get in front of the class and use one spelling word in a joke or riddle (their choice of which word). For example, suppose you’re a 2nd grade student and the word “teacher” is on your spelling list. Read through a joke book (or use the index) and find a joke that uses your work, such as:
What did the fish teacher say to her school? "Attention, gills and buoys!" (from Greatest Goofiest Jokes, Sterling Publishing Co., Inc.)
What a FUN way to learn spelling words! You'll have kids begging to get their new spelling list!
What an amazing video. As someone who works in Occupational Therapy, there are so many people who I know that find hope in seeing things like this. Thank you.
Kristin, Thanks so much for sharing this beautiful video. I worked at Craig Hospital in Englewood, CO for over 12 years (right next to Swedish Hospital). At Craig, they care for spinal cord and head-injured patients only. Many of the folks there were paralyzed in wheelchairs. They were also inspirational and dynamic. They reminded me every day how precious life is and how, no matter your situation, you can achieve what you want and make a difference in the world. Whenever I doubt myself, I close my eyes and listen for their precious words. I visit Craig every time I'm in Denver.
I've never seen anything like this. Very cool. Where did you find the video? I want to share it via Facebook but can't find a YouTube or video source link.
The dancers were superb. The person directing the camera work needs to be throttled. I hated it when they kept cutting away to show the audience. Who cares about the audience!
Still, this was beautiful. Thanks for the inspiration.
Anonymous said, on 4/3/2009 11:55:00 PM
Very beautiful and inspiring. You said it perfectly 'Know no limitation.' A wonderful reminder to everyone.
Tsuki said, on 4/4/2009 2:35:00 AM
Am I the only one these videos don't show up for? I haven't noticed anyone else mentioning a problem. Maybe one of my Firefox add-ons is eating them or something. =/ They work fine in IE, though, so I just have to switch browsers to watch them. I thought I'd bring it up in case anyone else IS having problems and hadn't tried using a different browser yet.
But yes, awesome video, once it showed up. =)
HeatherM said, on 4/4/2009 10:07:00 AM
No limitations indeed! That was very inspiring. A great way to start the weekend. Thanks!
That was one of the coolest things I think I have ever seen.
R.J. Anderson - me too - I didn't notice her arm until nearly the end! I think partly it's because of the flowing sleeves and partly because I think the way she used her legs I was focused there. Also, as she doesn't have the apparatus like a crutch like him, nothing foreign draws attention to it.
Or, you know, I'm just a bit dense today!
I think I'm going to have to link to this. Hope you don't mind.
Wow, watching something like this makes it hard to complain about any little problems I might have had lately. Except maybe if I lived in Denver, and the I would complain about snow in April.
It's that time again--National Humor Month--where we focus on the joy and therapeutic value of laughter. Not only is laughter the best medicine, it also reduces stress, creates endorphines (those "feel-good" hormones in our bodies) and is a great tool for classroom teachers.
This month, I'll be posting some humor-related activities for teachers (so stay tuned), but to start off, I'd like to announce a Joke/Riddle Writing Contest for Kids that I'm running on my website. I welcome students, teachers and parents to visit my site and join in the fun! Please click HERE for details.
In the meantime, here's a funny story that I shared in response to an interview I did for Stories for Children Magazine.
SFC: What was the funniest thing that's ever happened to you in your writing career?
Okay, this one is a funny sort of writing-related story. One day I decided to go to my local coffee house and do some writing. I threw on some clothes and headed out. I hung out there for a couple of hours, even meeting my husband for coffee on his lunch break.
When I got home, I walked past a mirror and noticed something. Hanging out of the back of my pants was a strip of leopard print faux-fur. Apparently, in my rush to get dressed, I had grabbed a pair of pants that had been lying on my bed, where apparently, one of my cats’ toys had also been laying. I grabbed the pants along with the toy and threw them on, not realizing that I had a cat toy hanging out the back of my pants! I supposed that if anyone would have said anything, I could have just said that I was writing a story about a cat and was getting into my character. ;-}
0 Comments on It's National Humor Month! as of 4/5/2009 2:33:00 AM
Ahoy, me buckoos, once again it's Talk Like a Pirate Day! So pull out yer pirate dictionaries and be ready to gab in pirate-speak or walk the plank! Need a little sword tip to move ye forward? Try these pirate puns on fer size:
What did the pirate's dog say?
Arrrrrf
What did the pirate do when it rained for forty days and forty nights?
He built an arrrrrk.
What's a pirate's favorite subject in school?
Arrrrt.
Really, ye seadogs, ye must pull out the Chase Calendar of Events and discover more treasures of fun worth celebrating!
0 Comments on Arrrr! It's Talk Like a Pirate Day! as of 9/19/2008 2:29:00 PM
STATUS: TGIF! And I’ve got a lot to celebrate as I’m almost caught up—if we don’t count the fact that I haven’t looked at queries in 3 weeks and that I’m still behind on reading requested sample pages. If you are waiting to hear from us, please wait just a bit longer…
What’s playing on the iPod right now? SH-BOOM by The Chords
Sara & I are still compiling the tallies of our Tuesday’s poll so look for that on Monday. Also in regards to the handwritten manuscript we received this week, we decided to go with the happy compromise outlined by many of you in the comments section. Today we sent a letter requesting that the sender send us the return postage if he/she wants the manuscript materials returned.
We’ll await that response and as to your other question, no, I have not read it and don’t plan to. It could be the best and greatest next American novel and I wouldn’t really care. I have a terrific current client list right now and I’m positive that I don’t want to work with an author who isn’t computer savvy in this day and age when it’s imperative (for my communicating with him/her and for author self marketing and promotion). I did that once early in my career where I had an author who didn’t/couldn’t email and once was enough.
Now for today’s funny. Two reasons why I’m sharing. 1) Thought this youtube vid was hilarious and 2) dang these authors are savvy in terms of promotion. What a great and fun way to get the info out that your book has been nominated for a RITA! It’s all about the promo baby!
14 Comments on Friday Funnies, last added: 6/23/2008
I'm one of the ones who encouraged you to read the handwritten manuscript(maybe the only one?). But I can see that you have a system that works very well for you, and why muck that up?
Hooray for email only submissions and reading manuscripts on your Kindle! It makes things much simpler all the way around.
You're right - it's definitely important for a writer to be computer savvy these days. E-mail is the one of the quickest communication devices there are, and not knowing how to type is nearly just as bad as not knowing how to write.
LOL! I want the sword! If only utube were capable of clickable links to each of those books' pages. *going back and writing those links down*
Anonymous said, on 6/23/2008 11:20:00 PM
I guess the video was funny. The sound was atrocious. That said, I wish my book was up for a RITA--or a Quill--or a Nobel. Thank you for your decision for the now-infamous hand-written manuscript. It's kind of a no-brainer, but who knows what circumstances moved that poor soul to send it to you. You're a doll.
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. -Sue Grafton
STATUS: Smile. Because it’s TGIF and it’s supposed to be a gorgeous weekend in Denver.
What’s playing on the iPod right now? TAKE THE LONG WAY HOME by Supertramp
Brooke Taylor’s debut UNDONE releases in August. She, along with several of my other debut clients, is doing promotional counseling with Bella Stander (and the agency picks up the tab).
She couldn’t resist sending this youtube video my way. If you are a soon-to-be-published author, big beverage alert.
Today is a twofer. Ally Carter sent this video my way. Some of her savvy fans did a mock movie trailer for I’D TELL YOU I LOVE YOU BUT THEN I’D HAVE TO KILL YOU as their project for film class. So fun and clever. Enjoy. (And no, we don’t have an update to share on where this project is in the film world. Maybe this will inspire Walden Media.)
16 Comments on Friday Funnies, last added: 5/19/2008
The first video is definitely funny. It was GREAT! I laughed out loud! I felt the guy's pain and delivered a believable performance. The second video... I guess it was--cute? contrived? "please read this book?"
The trailer seemed a little long-ish. I'd think they could have compressed it down to half the length easily (that's when I started getting bored).
I've always wondered why people didn't make more commercials for books. I've been planning my own for a while (I have a degree in multimedia) and I keep wondering that if I do a very good job of it how effective it could be.
Lindsay said, on 5/16/2008 4:42:00 PM
I have 2 websites going live in mid-June, and was ROTFL at the first one. I've gotten a crash course in social networking sites in the past month. Extremely funny.
As for the trailer- what initiative! It's really great when a book inspires such devotion that fans will go the extra mile for it.
Have a great weekend, all.
Anonymous said, on 5/16/2008 4:58:00 PM
I loved the first one!!! Laughed and laughed.
The second one was way too long. I thought the rule of thumb for book trailers was don't make them any longer than 2 minutes, ideally 1.5 minutes. I'm sure the book is great though.
For the sake of clarity, I just want to mention that the second youtube clip is not a book trailer.
It is a clip made by fans of Ally Carter who needed to do a project for their film class (as in for school--middle or high school as I can't really guess at their ages) and decided to create a film trailer for this book that they loved.
I personally got a huge kick out of it and was pretty impressed with their savvy.
I think the girls did a great job on their assignment. It's entirely possible their teacher required a certain length film and they chose to make it a trailer even though a real trailer would be much shorter. I hope they got a good grade 'cause I think they deserve it.
The first vid had me cracking up, but the second one very much impressed me! Now those are some dedicated fans.
I haven't read the book yet (been meaning to pick it up once I reduce my To Be Read pile a bit), and now I'm certain that I'll be seeing those girls' faces for each character as I read it. :)
Okay, for a hilarious example of perfect wordplay, go to Mary Hershey’s blog. I never knew the Pillsbury Doughboy could be so funny, and leave it to Mary to show us just how much there is to poke fun at!
And for the second time in my blogging life, I’ve been tagged by a fellow writer, Patty Palmer. We bloggers are a playful bunch, aren’t we? And since my hubbie is teaching class right now and my cats are sleeping, I’ve got a few minutes to play along. So, here goes:
Rules for the game: 1. Put these rules at the beginning of your post. 2. Then answer each question (see below) in your post. 3. Tag five people at the end, then post a comment on each of their blogs letting them know you've tagged them, and ask them to check your blog for details.
What was I doing 10 years ago? Ten years ago, I had just received my 1st degree Black Belt in taekwondo so I was in much better physical condition than I am now! Professionally, I was in my 21st year of teaching at the Montessori pre-primary level and my first thoughts of writing for children were surfacing in my mind. Personally, my son was finishing with middle school so I was very involved with his life.
Five Snacks I Enjoy: 1. Fresh blackberries. 2. Freshly picked cherries from Hood River, Oregon. 3. Movie popcorn (which I only eat about once a year because it’s got like a bazillion calories and way too many grams of fat and salt). 4. Edamame beans. 5. Oatmeal chocolate-chip FiberOne bars.
Five things I would do if I were a billionaire: Well, if you’re going to fantasize, go big! 1. I’d buy a summer vacation home in Hood River, Oregon where I could eat fresh cherries every summer until my stomach would feel ready to explode. 2. I’d buy a winter condo in Mammoth so my hubbie could snowboard and not have to make the long day drive to do it. 3. I’d donate a large part of it to D & S Animal Rescue Center (in Ridgecrest) so they could build a full-service facility to house and adopt out the hundreds of animals that they save annually. 4. I’d surprise my husband with a trip to Palau so we could scuba dive and swim in Jellyfish Lake. 5. I’d hire Stacy and Clinton from TLC’s “What Not to Wear” to find me a pair of jeans that actually fit. Of course, that might take all of the money because it wouldn’t’ be an easy task for them and I’m sure they’re expensive.
Five jobs that I have had: 1. Counter girl at Jack in the Box. 2. Temp-clerk. 3. Substitute teacher (all grades). 4. College teacher. 5. Montessori pre-primary teacher.
Three of my habits: 1. Checking my email way too often—I’m obsessed, what can I say? 2. On-demand petting and playing with my two cats (and my cats are very demanding but since they’re the world’s cutest and sweetest cats they deserve it). 3. Writing with my blue Hello Kitty pencil. I’m a fanatic about it. Any writing I’ve done for younger children has always started out with this pencil and a notepad. I won’t write with anything else, unless I’m away from home and caught without it—and then my creativity is less than stellar. Hello Kitty really motivates me, I suppose.
Five places I have lived: Just five??? Here are the main ones: Fort Worth, Texas. Rochester, New York. Mercer Island, Washington Manhattan Beach, California. Ridgecrest, California.
Five people I want to get to know better (i.e) TAG! Catherine Ipcizade at Fresh from the Oven (Catherine is a fellow Sylvan Dell author) Barbara Bietz at Jewish Books for Children with Author Barbara Bietz (Barbara is from my SCBWI region and one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met). Greg Pincus at Gottabook (Greg is a poet who invented a unique poetry form called, “The Fib.”) Tina Nichols Coury at Tales from The Rushmore Kid (Tina is from my SCBWI region and has her first book coming out soon). Greg Trine at Melvin Beederman Superhero (Greg is a softspoken superwriter with a sharp wit).
Thanks for tagging me! This is going to be fun! By the way - I never knew you had lived in Rochester - that's where my family is from ! And I LOVE Stacey and Clinton!
Talk soon, Barbara
Gregory K. said, on 4/23/2008 12:11:00 AM
Eeeps. I don't meme (and particularly not during Poetry Month!), but I will say "New Jersey, New York, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, Virginia, California"
A bonus place lived!
Patty P said, on 4/24/2008 12:31:00 PM
Hiring Stacy and Clinton! So funny. Yeah, I could use a day of their time, too. Happy writing...
STATUS: Answering emails, reviewing royalty statements, working on some contracts, and typing up notes for client manuscripts. Just a typical Friday morning…
What’s playing on the iPod right now? CALL ME by Aretha Franklin
Okay, this entry doesn’t have anything to do with publishing but I think the Improv Everywhere artists rock and I just have to share. I totally want to be an IE agent.
Have you ever noticed that the main characters in musicals just spontaneously burst into song? Well, now it happens in real life too.
And IE at the little league game is just a blast as well.
Nothing to do with publishing I know but I’m sure it brought a smile to your face and hey, it’s Friday!
16 Comments on Improv Everywhere, last added: 4/12/2008
My favourite street improv is this one: http://kcimprov.com/missions/02.php
It totally wins.
Also, I'm from Australia, and our Chaser's War On Everything do the If Life Was A Musical segments all the time. Search them on youtube, you'll have a laugh. I like the medical centre one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1La0wlMYw8
Sera Phyn said, on 4/11/2008 11:58:00 AM
Oh. My. Gosh. I love it so much I don't know what else to say! Why can't that happen when I'm in the mall?!
Anonymous said, on 4/11/2008 12:19:00 PM
That had to have made those boys' entire year. A memory they'll never forget. Very cool. :)
pjd said, on 4/11/2008 12:54:00 PM
These are hilarious.
The first time I became aware of the "spontaneous musical" concept was as a child watching one of the stupidest McDonald's commercials ever. Remember McD (clap clap) L. T.? I always wanted to see a few dozen people around me spontaneously break into dance and song about a hamburger. The hot stays hot and the cool stays cool! (Bonus young celebrity sighting in this commercial.)
DeadlyAccurate said, on 4/11/2008 1:26:00 PM
Those are two of my favorite IE scenarios. The Little League one even brought tears to my eyes by the end. Talk about something those kids will remember.
Jean said, on 4/11/2008 1:43:00 PM
That's just FUN! Thanks. :)
Heidi said, on 4/11/2008 2:00:00 PM
These are great! Prankstagroup does a few like this as well. My favorite is when they break out into song in a lecture hall. It's here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SwhzFsuvQc
I also wanted to let you know I sold two Ally Carter books this week. I was looking through them at Borders when two teenage girls came down the aisle browsing for something to get. I had to reach past them to return the book to the shelf and they immediately picked it up. I told them they were great books and basically summed up the blurb, and they wanted to know which book came first in the series. Then they both picked one up and said, "I'm definitely getting this one!"
I think it's the first time I've convinced a stranger to buy something, especially something that wasn't mine! Of course, the book basically sold itself!
Anonymous said, on 4/11/2008 2:08:00 PM
that was so awesome.
big smiles.
your blog is the best.
iAn.
D. Robert Pease said, on 4/11/2008 3:20:00 PM
Oh man that's awesome! I always wished life was a musical. Too bad stuff like this only happens in the big cities.
Adaora A. said, on 4/11/2008 3:34:00 PM
LMAO! Oh God that is full of win.
I would be so tempted to sing along with them. Why can't I live in California?
I love how the girl is swaying as she sings about lemonade.
Brilliant.
Anonymous said, on 4/11/2008 6:00:00 PM
I must not have the YouTube gene, or maybe it's a recessive or something. There just seems to be so much dreck on it, and I have to admit I'm getting tired of 'viral videos' and other things that were rejected from America's Funniest Home Videos.
To me, this looks like another bunch attempting to be 'discovered' by Lorne Michaels. I've got a cousin who does the same thing. He's a talented production artist, and he and his two friends spend seventy percent of their time coming up with theoretically funny skits for YouTube in an effort to 'get their names out there'.
The other day as I drove to pick up my son from elementary school, I passed three high school boys. One had a camera in hand, the other two had a shopping cart. They were standing at the top of a flight of stairs. You can see where this is going. I pulled over and watched. Fortunately, they chickened out on pushing the cart (and kid) down the concrete steps, instead opting for the 'safer' route of sending him down the hill next to the stairs. I watched in my rear view long enough to make sure the professor didn't need a ride to the hospital.
In the words of Patton Oswalt, "Porn degrades women... YouTube degrades us all."
Denise said, on 4/11/2008 6:19:00 PM
IE has a global network http://improveverywhere.ning.com/ where you can get involved locally. I'm involved with our Columbus Ohio group and we are planning a few missions this year. Love 'Nise
Lady Heidi, Duchess of Kneale said, on 4/11/2008 11:03:00 PM
I spontaneously break out in song in public, but most of the time it's just me without a chorus line.
Alas.
(Consider it the musician's equivalent of the eccentric writer talking to themselves.)
I'd love to see something like these videos live.
M. G. Tarquini said, on 4/11/2008 11:05:00 PM
I've seen that one at the food court several times. Everytime the gal with the baby throws the little darlin' over her head, I choke.
I totally wish I'd written it.
Julie Weathers said, on 4/12/2008 8:27:00 AM
Those are hilarious.
I especially like the little league one, though. I went through that with my two older boys and that would have been a memory for a lifetime.
It makes me wonder how many of those kids seriously pursue baseball after that.
Thanks for posting these.
Dorothy said, on 4/12/2008 10:40:00 AM
What fun!!! Thanks, Agent K. I read your blog daily and was tickled to see these two non-publishing entries. The Iprov group really does a good job. With all the seriousness in the world, it's refreshing to see such off the wall goings-on by talented people. Thanks for sharing.
Kim Kasch said, on 4/13/2008 12:48:00 AM
AWESOME!
karen wester newton said, on 4/13/2008 5:30:00 PM
What a hoot! My admiration goes out to anyone willing to sing in public. And the Little League game was a wonderful idea! I loved the comment from the coach that the rest of the season would be a let down by comparison.
We could all use a little levity and spontaneity in our lives.
Brenda said, on 4/14/2008 12:04:00 AM
I loved the little league one. Thanks for posting these Kristin. I so remember sitting in the stands when my own boys were in baseball. Improv with heart. :)
Well folks, I’ve come to the decision that all of the fame that I’ve gained from writing for children is just too much for this little introvert. I mean really, how many pairs of dark glasses and wide-brimmed hats can one hide under?
And the wealth I’ve acquired in these past nine years has been so unexpected compared to what I thought it would be prior to becoming a children’s writer that I just can’t say enough about it!
Soooo, I’m packing my bags and moving to the Bahamas. The bag will include sunscreen, swimsuit, sundresses, flip-flops and enough cat food to last for my two spoiled feline traveling companions.
WHEN am I bailing on the writing world (and the rest of society too, I suppose)?
Let’s see, let me check my calendar...
Oh wait...it’s April 1!
Happy April Fool’s Day! ;-) (hee-hee)
For further goofiness ala Terry, click here to visit Tina Nichols Coury’s blog for more April Fool's Day fun.
2 Comments on Calling It Quits?, last added: 4/3/2008
This story really is writing-related. I promise.
That was hilarious and absolutely spot on.
That's hysterical :)
Enjoy the weekend!
That's the best laugh I've had all week, thank you!
Haha. *snarf* That's hilarious. :)
Don't feel bad, Kristin. I laughed too.
I hate that I'm laughing so hard at that.
And great song. I haven't heard it in ages and now I'm going to have to cue it up on my ipod!
Ophelia book giveaway!
That's terrible, but hilarious!! :D
I so needed that laugh today. Thank you! Sue Harrison
hahaha, that's hilarious!
and typical. so typical.
This cracked me up! I read it to my husband. He said, "That's good advice."
She might also be out of petrol and have a faulty fuel gauge.
Hope this helps,
Gary
Hahahaha, and sadly, I can actually see a guy really responding like this.
Are you sure Allan doesn't have a pen name?
Okay, that one had me laughing out loud. Thanks!
Mike seems like a real helpful guy. I love his answer. Just wish I'd come up with something so clever when my gfriends ask me how to deal with such-n-such.
Why's she trying to work things out with him anyway?
Oh my god. That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time. So true!!
That is fantastic!!! I actually know men like this. Car guys, I mean.
*dies laughing*
Lol, that's class!
This is excellent advice. Get the car fixed before the divorce.
The first clue should have been that he's a fan of the Raiders. I mean, come on! Who does that?
Too funny! My husband and I got a good laugh.
That's what I always say, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." And, while the car needs some work, hubby definitely ain't broke!
Too funny. LOL.
Ha ha brilliant. Hope you are having a lovely weekend and thanks for the laugh
Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com
Oh, that's hilarious!
Like Sheila is going to know where to find the intake manifold. His reply is falling on deaf ears. I totally see what you mean.