I am honored to have two of my books–SCARS and STAINED–included under PTSD/Abuse & Assault in “Bibliotherapy for Teens: Helpful Tips and Recommended Fiction” by librarian Erin E Moulton on School Library Journal’s site. Erin wrote a moving and insightful article on the need for fiction to help readers, and she put together a fantastic list of books librarians, teachers, and readers can turn to for various mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, PTSD especially from abuse and assault (and resulting in self-harm), dissociation, eating disorders, bi-polar, and more!
I used books to survive my own abuse and trauma as a child and teen–and I still use books to help me cope with the effects of trauma. So it always feels so good to hear from other readers and from librarians (and teachers) who recommend my books to others, or who read my books themselves and find them helpful. Thank you Erin for helping others find my books!
.
Our
Carmela is out to make trouble. I swear...she's a full-blown cyclone blowing through Poetry Month!
(Actually, she's not. I'm just playin' with you. I've been on the look-out for metaphors all month
on my website, and that was a metaphor, blowing by...
the poem on my site today compares writing to a challenging walk...)
Carmela has
posted (and reads aloud) two versions of one of my poems, and she suggested I talk about the process of writing and revising it.
So...here's the story behind HOW TO READ A POEM ALOUD:
I was asked to help organize a poetry coffee house night for teens, and I wanted to teach them how to read aloud. Could I smush all the information into a poem, I wondered? My teacher
Myra Cohn Livingston always read poems aloud twice; I knew I wanted to include that in my instructions.
I've found nine versions of this poem; there may be more. But don't panic--I won't make you read every draft! Here's the very first version:
2/8/07
READ ALOUD HOWS
Take a sip of water.
Read the title to your daughter.
Pause.
Read the poet’s name.
Read the poem.
Read it once again
Take your time.
Say each word slowly
Let each word shine.
Take a breath and sigh.
Then think of how the poet put her hand to pen
and why.
=========================
and here are the next several versions mashed together so you can see the ideas I tried and discarded...
HOW TO READ A POEM ALOUD
[Sit down in a meadow with a friend.
Tell the poet’s name and the title—
Now begin.]
[Stand up in your kitchen with your friend.
Tell the poet’s name and the title—
Now begin.]
[Walk home from the bus stop with your friend.
Tell the poet’s name and the title—
Now begin.]
[Take a sip of tea.
Tell the poet’s name to your friend.]
[Take a sip of tea.
Read the poet’s name
and say its title deliciously
to me.]
[To begin,
say the title
and the poet’s name
with a small smile.]
[To begin,
announce the title of the poem
and the poet’s name.
Make sure to pronounce it clearly]
[To begin,
read the title of the poem
and the poet’s name.
Be clear.]
Now—[your job is to] completely disappear
Say [taste] its title
deliciously.
Tell the poet’s name to me.
[Tell the poet’s name to me.
Taste her title deliciously.]
Pause.
[Be sure you’re heard
so I can savour every word.]
Now:
savour [polish]
every
word.
Let
each
shine.
Then—read it one more time.
Next, take a breath
and sigh.
Then think about the poet
at her desk
late at night
picking up her pen to write—
and why.
* * * * *
And here some of my moods as I write
and rewrite and write and rewrite (can you relate?):
...confused...
...determined...
...patient...
At some point on this journey, I read Marilyn Singer's prose,"
How to Read a Poem Aloud"...and though it's a terrific list, it made my head spin, so I decided to stick with just the few points I'd been working with.
* * * * *
And finally, here are the two versions Carmela posted (they've been floating around the internet, passing each other in the night, for years)...which do you like best?
Version #1
HOW TO READ A POEM ALOUD
First, read the title of the poem
and the poet’s name.
Be clear.
Now completely
disappear.
Let each line
shine.
Then read it
one more time.
When the poem
ends, sigh.
Think about the poet at her desk,
late at night, picking up her pen to write--
and why.
* * * * *
HOW TO READ A POEM ALOUD
To begin,
tell the poet’s name
and the title
to your friend.
Savor every word—
let
each
line
shine.
Then—
read it one more time.
Now, take a breath—
and sigh.
Then think about the poet,
at her desk,
late at night,
picking up her pen to write—
and why.
© April Halprin Wayland. All rights reserved.
Do I like one version better than the other? Depends on what day you catch me. That's the trick in creating something, isn't it: sometimes I know, I just know when it's finished: there's that satisfying click of the lasts puzzle piece...
 |
| from morguefile.com |
But just as often, I just...get...(yawn) t i r e d...so...I stop.
And that, dear campers, is the story behind HOW TO READ A POEM ALOUD!
Now, go outside and play.
posted with a glue gun by April Halprin Wayland.
(p.s: I've just been interviewed by author
and Seminar on Jewish Story organizer Barbara Krasner here.)
In the video below, I talk about Scars being challenged, why I wrote Scars, and the need for “dark” books – for Banned Book Week. I read banned and challenged books, and I hope you do, too!
Here are some of my favorite quotes about banning books and censorship:
“Books and ideas are the most effective weapons against intolerance and ignorance.”
- Lyndon Baines Johnson
“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them. ”
- Joseph Brodsky
“If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed.”
- Benjamin Franklin
“Where they have burned books, they will end in burning human beings.”
- Heinrich Heine
“Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too.”
- Voltaire
Do you have a favorite quote about banned books or censorship? How about a favorite banned or challenged book? Let me know! 
This week's Poetry Friday is hosted by the delicious poet
Heidi Mordhorst over at
My Juicy Little UniverseSo...rewriting. Can't we just skip it? Can't we just write something brilliant and then jump to that thick-carpeted Hollywood office where we're signing the movie contract based on our book?
I've been feeling discouraged this week, so here's a poem about my work-in-progress, another novel-in-poems which I'd hoped would be finished when I turned in the April 14th draft in my novel writing class.
Finished? Heaven's no! Now that I have notes on this draft, I'm messing with it again. My book clearly needs a little more curry or cumin or molasses or heaven-knows-what. *Sigh*
NOVEL THOUGHT
by April Halprin Wayland
I'm walking quickly on this path
I edit words I see are chaff
I'm making characters three-dimensional
I've integrated the high school staff
(the stereotypes were unintentional)
I've cut the zoo scene and giraffe
though it was beautifully unconventional
I'm trying not to be inflexible—
and keeping it was indefensible
(though parts of it were quite exceptional)
If only I can reach that raft
and climb aboard, untie the rope—
I'll sail off with the final draft...
at least I hope!
x
Reasons Not To Hurt Yourself
by Cheryl Rainfield
- Because you do not deserve to be hurt, not by anyone, not even yourself;
Because you deserve the same compassion, kindness, and love that everyone else does, and that you would give to a friend;
Because if you hurt yourself, you are repeating and reinforcing what your abusers or people who put you down told you, and none of that is true;
Because any relief you may get from hurting yourself is only fleeting and will not last, and because you will need to keep hurting yourself more frequently and worse to get that tiny bit of relief, and may end up doing permanent damage or may even inadvertently kill yourself;
Because you have already been through so much pain and do not need more pain added to that;
Because you have a voice and have a right to be heard;
Because you deserve to have compassion for yourself, the way others have it for you;
Because there are safer, gentler ways to find some relief and you deserve to find those ways;
Because even if you do not believe it, hurting yourself will hurt the people who truly love you;
Because you deserve to be treated gently and with love, not with hate;
Because you are not to blame for anything that happened to you as a child;
Because you will hurt your body and your body is not to blame for anything;
Because hurting yourself is abusing yourself, and you do not deserve to be abused;
Because it’s better and kinder to reach out to others and get support, or to find inner resources to rely on, rather than to add to your own hurt and torment;
Because one day you will see the beauty in yourself and know that you should be treated with care;
Because you are lovable and loved, and deserve to be treated with love; and
Because things will get better, and you will find more of what you need.
By Cheryl Rainfield, author of SCARS
Drawing by Cheryl Rainfield, part of the Love Yourself affirmation cards
Scars. Cheryl Rainfield. 2010. WestSide Books. 250 pages.
"Someone is following me." I gulp air, trying to breathe.
Kendra has had a hard life. She's in therapy now. And she's trying her best to recover her memories, recover her life. But when the novel opens, she can't remember her abuser. She remembers the abuse--the sexual abuse. But something is keeping her from seeing the face of her abuser. The face of the man who had tormented her for over a decade.
Kendra is convinced that this man is not finished with her yet. She feels that she is being followed, being stalked. That this man is leaving her messages, leaving her threats. Reminding her that if she tells, she'll die.
So yes, Kendra has had a hard life. And her home life is challenging to say the least. Her relationship with her parents is tense. She doesn't get along with either her mom or her dad. Kendra is angry that her mom has failed to support her in many ways. That her mom failed to listen to her as a child the few times Kendra tried to let her mom know she was being hurt. Her mom also has a hard time accepting that her daughter is a lesbian.
One way she copes is by cutting. Cutting herself numbs her emotionally. Whenever she feels overwhelmed, whenever the pain becomes too much, Kendra resorts to hurting herself. Another way she copes is with her art.
While Scars is a fast-paced novel dealing with hard issues, it's also a love story. Kendra has fallen in love Meghan, and Meghan has fallen in love with her. With Meghan she is able to be herself, to talk and have someone really listen, really understand.
Scars is an emotional, compelling novel. Kendra's story is haunting and the threats she faces are all too real. Scars is a book that is hard to put down.
© Becky Laney of Becky's Book Reviews
<!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]--> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Georgia; panose-1:2 4 5 2 5 4 5 2 3 3; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:647 0 0 0 159 0;} @font-face {
.jpg?picon=980)
.JPG)
Exactly!! WHY can't we just get it perfectly 100% right on the first try?? This revision business is a pain sometimes! ;) For a while there I was really enthused by it. Now I'm a burned out husk of a former writer. LOL.
I tend to be very self-critical, April, so I really need positive feedback. If not for compliments, I'd probably edit out the good stuff along with the not-so-good in the revision process. :-)
I'm glad you dug those notes out. Breathe them in. Savor them. Then, when you're ready, you can go back to the revision. Although the process is tough, your next round of changes will make the story so much stronger. YOU CAN DO THIS!
I love it! Best wishes on your final draft!
Glad you can relate, Trisha...oy! And thanks for being supportive cheerleaders, Carmela and Ruth.
Last draft? Probably best to think of this as a lovely place to swim around in for awhile...not focus on whether or when it's done...that feels like a happier place from which to write...
Loved the poem and really enjoyed seeing a bit of your process. Thanks for sharing and be encouraged. It is progress. Best wishes on your WIP.
It's easy to toss out the compliments. We, as humans, tend to be self critical. BUT when the compliments are from someone who's writing expertise you respect. HOLD OUT YOUR HANDS AN TAKE THEM. They are a valid part of the critique. Pay attention and just say Thank you!
Sending the Versatile Blogger Award your way.
Kelly Garriott Waite
http://writinginthemarginsburstingattheseams.blogspot.com/
Doraine, Thanks for your kind words. Pen & Ink gang, yes--I am holding out my hands, letting the water of "this is darn good writing" wash over them...
And thanks for the award, Kelly!
Very nice! Good description of your process. (I never ever recycle the compliments - never ever ever!)
xxx
This is good LIFE advice, too, when everything seems too negative, when all the news is bad news.
I receive many compliments at work about my writing, and people are always asking me to review and edit their work. But I'm a writer who absorbs thoughtless and critical comments more than affirmations. I will take to heart your comment, "Listen to the good stuff, too."
I find it can be helpful to get good feedback as well as bad. Someone in my critique group just pointed out some hidden symbolism in a passage of my WIP I wrote a while ago. I'd forgotten about the deeper meaning -- which I might have written by instinct. Now that it's been pointed it out to me, I may expand it into a little thread.
I'm feeling discouraged about a chapter I'm in the process of revising -- what perfect timing to read your post today. Your poem is wonderful. Thank you, April.
Hello, April--
First, I apologize for slightly mischaracterizing your post over at mjlu. I was delighted to arrive here with my full attention and enjoy your poem--my favorite lines are the ones about the beautifully unconventional giraffe. Your rhyme scheme is wonderful--also beautifully unconventional!
In the classroom, I always emphasize (because kids are so likely to start with the critique) beginning with compliments that help the writer/reader know what she did well. Perhaps for adults the check marks are enough, but I prefer a nice meaty, specific compliment any day!
Thanks for stopping by, everyone!
I do save particularly moving compliments in a file...and I've made a decision not to keep all the copies of my drafts except on my computer... so no handwritten comments from colleagues for posterity. Decluttering keeps me sane!
Heidi...I couldn't figure out where the listing of Poetry Friday was on your site...I know it's there...but where? In the comments section?