LuAnn with her muses: her family. "Yes, I'm oversharing. Again." |
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Grandma and Grandpa Schindler with the two writing "distractions" who are visiting this week.
Writer mamas: I salute you!
Seems like I've always been a writer. When my kids were young, I'd write after they went to bed or were down for a nap. It wasn't ideal, but it worked.
As we all grew older, the writing schedule changed. Now, while they stayed up till all hours completing history projects or geometry homework, I'd be right there with them, composing like crazy or editing short stories.
And then, they were all gone. I quit full-time teaching and began freelancing full-time. And I could set my own office hours and work whenever inspiration - or deadlines - hit.
But this week, my 23-year-old baby is home from Arizona with Jorden and Walker, our 15- and
5-month old grandsons, respectively.
Whew! (I imagine mom says that more than grandma!)
I don't mind the distractions. Really, I don't. But it seems in a week filled with newspaper deadlines and blog posts, this grandma needs more naps than the babies!
Squeezing in writing time presents challenges, too. Write then those three take a nap? Tried that yesterday and I wrote 2 sentences. Erased. Rewrote. Edited. Erased. New sentence. Erased.
You get the point.
Write while Jorden stands by my chair blowing kisses and saying "Gamma..."? Just can't do it.
Write after they go to bed? I tried last night and decided I'd wake up early this morning and work for a few hours while the boys slept in.
Right.
It's tough being a writing mom - or grandma! You learn to prioritize and juggle babies and bottles and diaper changes while you write a lead paragraph in your mind, hoping you remember it when you actually get to the computer.
But, I also wouldn't want this week to be any other way. I'm blessed to have a supportive family who understands my crazy writing schedule. And, I'm grateful that I get to spend a week with these little boys who will be little men before I blink.
So deadlines and blog posts: beware.
You will get completed and written.
And you may even get a handful of blown kisses from Jorden or a coo from Walker.
But I'll get to you when I find time in my precious schedule.
by LuAnn Schindler. Read more of LuAnn's work at http://luannschindler.com.
Erma did it, and you can too! I've been published in 16 Chicken Soup books, and more than half involve stories about family members. Write on! Stop by and visit http://lindaoconnell.blogspot.com
LuAnn: I agree with Linda! What else are we supposed to be inspired by? Parents have been embarrassing their children for centuries. So, just because the whole world can read it now, why should we stop? :) LOL!
I think it depends upon what your own feelings are about your family, and who reads about them. Personally, I don't read blogs and/or Facebook etc. about family events, and so on. When I don't know someone as a personal friend, I'm really not interested in what their kids and grandkids do. I have kids and grandkids, and I love them dearly and am very proud of them, but I don't write publically about them. My family is private, and I am going to keep them that way. I don't think writing about one's personal life, including family, is something that should be done where the whole world can read about you and them. The Internet is not a safe place, and there are 1000s of people who can attest to that from a personal standpoint. Of course there are also 1000s more who do this every day of their lives and nothing happens as a result of the Internet. I'm just not one who sees the point of exposing my children and grandchildren to the view of the entire world. JMHO, however.
Margo, I don't write to embarrass my kids. I hope their stories have universal appeal - parents from all walks can relate.
My biggest concern, as they've grown and now, a couple have children, is where does their right to privacy begin?
LuAnn, as a writer with two grown children, I lean towards protecting the privacy of these individuals. It is a line to cross that takes a lot of consideration, seems to me.
LuAnn:
I know you don't write to embarrass your children or grandchildren. You are very loving. What I should have said was that it is EASY as a parent to embarrass our children, even when we don't mean to. I used to be embarrassed when my mom wore these one polyester slacks to the mall to take me shopping. As a parent, I now know that she was comfortable in them AND she was not buying herself new things, so she could buy them for me.
On this entire topic, I honestly and seriously think it depends on the family and person AND what you are revealing. If you are revealing a cute story about your child in a restaurant--that's one thing. Other parents can relate and smile, too. If you are revealing intimate details about your teenage daughter's drug abuse, that's a whole other ballgame. Again, I am not saying that you shouldn't write about it--it depends on the family and the audience.
In my opinion, we are often given joys and struggles to learn from them and to share with others who will learn from them. That's why we were given the gift of writing.
Finally, I don't believe a writer should ever use their words to hurt someone. If you are hurting your child/grandchildren by writing about them, of course, I don't think you should.
My two cents. :)
And then there's memoir writing! I say as long as you're not revealing intimate moments of what people do in the bathroom or bedroom, or something else you know will be horrifyingly embarrassing, and it's in the good-natured spirit of universal bonding, it's a go.
I think writing about your friends and family is fine as long as (a) you're not divulging anything that could damage their reputations, (b) you're representing them truthfully, and (c) you stop if they say they don't like it. Too many older relatives believe that they have the "right" to do and say whatever they want, as if their kids/grandkids/nieces and nephews aren't independent human beings who deserve to have a say in how they're represented to the world. A friend of mine, for example, cut off contact with a certain family member several years ago, but she still posts old photos of him on her Facebook profile calling him "my Johnny," sometimes accompanying them with lies. He has told her in no uncertain terms that their relationship is over, but she continues to do it. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if she's doing it on purpose, just to prove that she can and he's powerless to stop it.
But as long as you're sensitive to the opinions of the people you're talking about, it should be fine. I may be a little hypersensitive, actually, because there was an incident over the first novel I wrote in high school. I wrote about a troubled girl with a borderline abusive mother, and my own mother showed it to her book club with pride. But they declined to read it because "they knew the people in it" and said it made them uncomfortable. The mother in the book was not based on my mother, but they thought she was and might have made damaging assumptions about her because of it. So now I'm very careful to make sure that my characters are not traceable to people in real life, accept to people who know me very, very well.