The Heming Way: How to Unleash the Booze-Inhaling, Animal-Slaughtering, War-Glorifying, Hairy-Chested, Retro-Sexual Legend Within… Just Like Papa! by Marty Beckerman
Review by Chris Singer
About the author:
Marty Beckerman, America’s Luscious Beacon of Truth, has written for Esquire (where he served as an editor), Playboy, Salon, Discover, Gawker, Huffington Post, the Daily Beast, and every other worthwhile publication of our time. He has been quoted by the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Atlantic, Fox, ABC News and MSNBC, all of which mistook him for a serious pundit.
Aside from The Heming Way, Beckerman’s literary masterpieces include Generation S.L.U.T. (MTV Books / Simon & Schuster) and Dumbocracy: Adventures with the Loony Left, the Rabid Right, and Other American Idiots (The Disinformation Company).
You can follow him on Facebook and Twitter. And you can find shirtless pictures of him at www.martybeckerman.com.
About the book:
Fifty years have passed since the death of Ernest Hemingway, history’s ultimate man, and young males today—obsessed with Facebook, Twitter, and Nintendo—know nothing about his legendary brand of rugged, alcoholic masculinity. They cannot skin a fish, dominate a battlefield, or transform majestic creatures of the Southern Hemisphere into piano keyboards. With chapters such as “For Whom the Beer Flows,” “Death in the Afternoon… Lunch is Served,” and “The Old Man and the See You in Hell,” Marty Beckerman demonstrates how modern eunuchs—brainwashed by PETA and Alcoholics Anonymous—can learn from Papa’s unparalleled example: drunken, unshaven, meat-devouring, wife-divorcing, and gloriously self-destructive. The Heming Way is a difficult path, and not for the weak, but truth is manlier than fiction.
My take on the book:
Many of you may not realize this, but I happen to have a bachelor’s degree in Literature (from SUNY Purchase). This alone tells you a couple of things about me. One, I had a penchant for making really bad decisions as a young adult when it came to choosing a career. Second, the fathers of girls I dated around that time weren’t exactly keen on me dating their daughter. Finally, I got to read lots and lots of books in school. Many of which were written by Ernest Hemingway.
I always enjoyed reading Hemingway, and was happy to receive an e-mail from Marty Beckerman asking me to read this parody. I’ve been eager to check it out on my Nook, and finally got the chance this week to read it.
I wasn’t disappointed at all. I laughed out loud throughout much of my reading and was spouting out passages to my wife almost the entire time. Mind you, she didn’t find it quite as entertaining as me. Here’s a few samples of passages I shared with her:
* The Heming Way: Hunting — “As a toddler you cried whe