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I received this email yesterday. If any of you know military teens, please encourage them to share their wisdom with other teens.

_________________________________________________________

Military Child Education Coalition’s
CALL FOR TEEN DEPLOYMENT ADVICE

The Military Child Education Coalition is excited to announce its plans to print a publication about teenagers’ experiences during the deployment of a loved one. Tens of thousands of teenagers have watched their loved ones deploy for extended periods of time since September 11, 2001 and yet there are few resources in print focused on the experiences of teenagers during these challenging times. We at the MCEC know that teens are most likely to listen to the wisdom and advice of other teens, and there is no one better qualified to offer advice about deployment than the teens that have experienced it. We would like to gather their insights, ideas and wisdom in a publication that can be shared with other teens and the adults who support them. This publication will be by teens for teens!

Our intention is to gather information (via the attached questionnaire) from the full spectrum of teenagers, who come from all military dependent backgrounds: Army, Air Force, Coast Guard, Marine Corps, Navy - Active Duty, National Guard, and Reservists. We urge you to share the attached form with any and all teens you know who have weathered the deployment(s) of parents, siblings and other loved ones. The greater the number of responses we receive from military-connected teenagers, the better this publication will be.

The MCEC wants to give military-connected teenagers a great publication about deployment. Help us make this goal a success!

Please direct any questions regarding the Call for Teen Deployment Advice to Joan Barrett.

WHO: Teenagers who were between the ages of 12-20 when
their loved one deployed (deployments since 9-11-01)

WHAT: Advice and Experience regarding their experiences
during the deployment of a loved one

HOW: Fill out attached questionnaire and return to
Joan Barrett

DEADLINE: MARCH 31, 2008

POC: JOAN BARRETT
Director of Research and Evaluation
(816) 746-7966
[email protected]

Warmly,
The MCEC™ Staff

You can email Joan at the address above for a copy of the questionnaire, or if you'd rather go through me, I downloaded a copy from the original email and can send it to you myself.

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The kids and I spent the weekend chez the_webmeister up in Beantown. Saw the 3D Sun film at the Museum of Science, which was fascinating. Then we took the kids to the Planetarium to see the Laser Magic show. That was a huge success with everyone - now I want to take the kids back to see Laser Beatles and Pink Floyd and U2 and Led Zeppelin - in other words, all my favorite high school bands.

Now I knew The Webmeister was a techno-geek, but what I didn't know was that he's been holding out on me all this time - he actually has a laser thingie (I'll let him tell you the technical term in the comments) of his very own. So when we got home, he let Daughter play with it. I got to choose the CD - and of course I chose the greatest and potentially most laser-friendly album of all time, Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. Daughter has a bright future as a Laserist - she did a fantastic job creating effects.

Unfortunately The Webmeister is (or should I say "was") in possession of another, more unsavory form of technology. The Dark Side of Technology, one might say. I shall explain.

As a children's book author, I probably shouldn't admit this in a public forum, but I have a history of Furbicide. Many years ago, my former mother-in-law gave my children the most annoying evil toy ever invented - The Furby. Not just one Furby. One for Each Child. I hated the freaking things. They would start talking at the most bizarre and inappropriate times, and you had to go through some elaborate ritual to make the @$#&& things go to sleep.

One night the Furbies started talking at 1am and I'd had it. I wanted to take the batteries out but couldn't find the screwdriver. (It was 1am, after all.) So in an Anthony Perkins-esque move, I took a large kitchen knife and (cue the Psycho shower scene music) stabbed the Furbies until they were silent.

They ended up buried at the bottom of the kitchen garbage bag, never to be heard from again.

But alas...this weekend the kids were going through the Webmeister's basket of dog toys and what should they find at the bottom - yep, one of those F-words. Number 2 of Reasons NOT to Love the Webmeister (a much shorter list than the reasons TO love the Webmeister): he put batteries in the damn thing.

When we were leaving his house this afternoon, I went to put my laptop in my briefcase, and what did I find in it...The Furby. I put it back on his shelf. I got into the car and what was on my seat? The Furby. I told the Webmeister to take it back.

Then, after we left TWM's house, I stopped at Dunkin' Donuts to caffienate myself for the journey home. I opened my bag to pay and this is what I saw:



AAAAAAAAAH! My son, laughing hysterically, told me that the Furby was haunting me for murdering his relatives all those years ago.

We get home, I put on a load of laundry, go up to my room, turn on the light and:



DOUBLE AAAAAAAAAH!

Will Sarah Ever Escape The Curse of the Furby? Stay tuned.... Read the rest of this post

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As you know, last week was a majorly crummy one, mostly spent crying about having to put the dog down, or comforting crying kids about having to put the dog down. I struggled to meet my column deadline on Friday, because I just couldn't concentrate.

Well, on Thursday afternoon, I got an e-mail from the_webmeister asking if someone was going to be home between 3-5 on Friday afternoon because he was sending us a surprise. I replied in the affirmative, and then immediately started wondering when he'd sent.

Friday morning was crummy again, because daughter's blood sugar was through the roof (I HATE DIABETES) and it meant I couldn't get to the gym for a much needed workout. I texted The Webmeister telling him I needed a hug.

He texted me on Friday about 3:30 asking if the surprise had arrived yet. Nope.

At 5:30 I texted him saying that UPS still hadn't arrived. He wrote back saying he had "every confidence" that the parcel would arrive that evening, and that he'd let me know when he got the delivery confirmation.

At about 6:30 daughter and I were leaving through the garage to go see a movie. I'd told son to text me as soon as the parcel arrived. Across the street was a UPS truck. I was just saying to daughter, "Hmm, I wonder if they're going to deliver our parcel?" when a car pulled into our driveway. I'm half looking at the UPS truck and half thinking, "Who's that? We're not expecting anyone?" when all of a sudden I notice the make of the car and the Massachusetts plates and realize - it's HIM!! It's the Webmeister!

He'd come to deliver my much-needed hug in person. There are times when the ((((((((hug)))))) won't do, and he obviously realized that this one one of them, bless him.

Anyway, he and daughter and I went to see "27 Dresses", which I really enjoyed. Last night, he and I went to see "Atonement". I'd been half anticipating and half dreading seeing the film, because I'd loved the book so very much - I was utterly distraught when I read the last chapter and spent the next half hour crying my eyes out.

I'd grabbed a huge wadge of tissues before heading to the cinema, because I figured I was in for another sobfest, but I was curiously dry eyed. Curious because I normally cry at the drop of a hat, and also because I'd been so emotional at the end of the book. But although the film was beautifully done, and well acted (after seeing this and The Last King of Scotland, I now have a major thing for James McAvoy) I just didn't connect to the characters the way I did in the book.

More proof for my theory that with the possible exception of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, the book is ALWAYS better than the film.

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# 130- He bought my daughter a Farting Fun Kit for making honor roll. Ok, it's not the typical kind of present one would expect for academic achievement, but it's provided HOURS of fun for the entire family.

Of particular amusement: the Remote Control Fart Machine. We were all in complete hysterics the other night at dinner, as various windy noises emitted from the sofa, where the machine was hidden. Then the_webmeister, Daughter and I were watching “Rear Window” and when the ballet dancer woman was lifting her leg, Daughter pressed the remote control button for a perfectly timed fart. We almost had to stop the DVD we were laughing so hard.

This reminds me of an amusing anecdote I forgot to mention in my school visit blog from Friday.

During my author talks, I show a slide of this cunning adaptation by my son when I talk about why I like writing for middle school age kids:



and when I talk about how the way to write better is to WRITE a lot, I tell the story of how my daughter was looking over my shoulder when I blogged about Jane Yolen’s “B-I-C” (Butt in Chair) keynote and designed this:



Then, when I was speaking about revision, I read them the original opening line of my middle grade WIP and then the new opening line after I’d realized I’d started the story in the wrong place. The new opening line has the word “butt” in it.

So this kid raises his hand and asks: “Well, you seem to talk a lot about butts in your presentation. Is there something in your past that makes you so…you know…obsessed?”

After I was able to stop laughing, I told them all about the Farting Fun Kit. I assured them that I really do have a deep intellectual side, but it just wasn’t in evidence at that time.

But, as usual, I digress.

On to #131 of Reasons to love The Webmeister

Yesterday my family came over for latkes and presents. We had a lot of fun with the little ones and then The Webmeister gave me my Chanukah present:

It started with a big box:


In which there were several smaller boxes:



and a bag:



At this point, I start thinking there must be a bag of peanuts at the end, because the day before he’d told me about the time he gave his mother a Tiffany box in a Tiffany bag and she got all excited except that it contained a bag of peanuts.

But I opened the final box or two:



and inside, found something MUCH better than a bag of peanuts:



YES!!!!!

I’ve been coveting The Webmeister’s iPhone since the day he got it, and he obviously noticed. Can you tell I’m excited?



I can’t wait till I get my service transferred from Verizon and I can activate my new present!!!

Anyway, just a few more reasons to add to the ever-growing list.

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Because he is willing to allow my daughter and her friends to turn him into a sundae.

Um...what?! you might well be saying, and I'm not sure I'd blame you.

So let's back track a little. My daughter is a big fan of the Disney Show i Carly, which for those of you out of the Tween Zone is about this girl called Carly who has an online called, funnily enough "iCarly".

Well, daughter and friends have been doing their own little webshow called, funnily enough, iMarly.

For the most recent episode, which will be uploaded once we've edited out a few uses of someone's real name (which I will not allow under any circumstances), they had the brilliant idea to make The Webmeister into a sundae.

And amazingly enough, he agreed. Daughter and friends couldn't believe their good fortune.

They started off with cookies on his eyes (which fell off, see his shirt), then progressed to whipped cream, followed by chocolate syrup:



Topped off by some Ghirhardelli Double Chocolate Chips:



Then, they "showered" him off with their Super Soakers:



Notice how they were kind enough to put a towel over him first...



He's a pretty special guy, isn't he?

And he looks good in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, too! (she says, emitting a wicked cackle)

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When people ask me why I chose to write for teens, I say that it's because I was so traumatized by middle school and it's cheap therapy. I'm only half joking.

So ask me why I would voluntarily choose to relive middle school by spending a WHOLE DAY going back to middle school, attending classes and eating lunch in the cafeteria? Ask me double why when you learn it was a GYM DAY...(cue scary music)

Well, here's the answer:



Yes, it was parent visitation day, so yours truly had to revisit the site of her tween angst. Well, actually, this site is infinitely nicer than where I went to middle school, or junior high, as it was called then. The cafeteria food was quite good. There weren't crowds of girls smoking cigarettes in the bathroom.

The only time I really freaked out was here:



I swear, just walking into a middle school gym class made me feel that sick "I'm the loser who's going to be picked last" feeling all over again. And my tyrant of a daughter wouldn't let me leave during gym for a Dunkin' Donuts run.

Which reminds me of what I was wondering all day long: how the heck did I ever survive school without coffee?

I tell you, after spending a day at school, I was exhausted. But I survived. And I managed to avoid mortally embarrassing my daughter. Plus,it obviously was good for my writing, because I came home and churned out 700 words on my middle grade WIP in two hours. Guess my brain was in the right mindset. Hmmm. Maybe I should go back to school more often...

Meanwhile, on the Sandy Front - turns out ole Flowerpot Head (Mary Poppins and I have christened her "Pot Head" which might well be apt if you look at the way she's bashing into doors and legs and walls) does not have Cushings Disease after all. The blood test came out normal. So we're left with liver function problems, which involves on her having to be on some expensive medication for the rest of her life, plus another 6 weeks of antibiotics plus a change in prescription dog food.

But there's life in the old Pot Head yet, which is a good thing, is it not?

Oh, and Webmeister - here's your mention ;-)

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This weekend the Webmeister celebrated a birthday. Well, actually more than one birthday – just only one of them was his. The kids and I joined him down south Jersey for some birthday celebrations en famille (his, that is).

Now that he’s such an old guy (do you think I can still call him my toy boy?) we figured we’d better keep him young by indulging his inner kid. First we hit the New Jersey Aquarium .

We saw all sorts of cool fish

and sharks

and the Webmeister took this awesome video of the jellyfish:


We were really disappointed with the 4D SpongeBob Squarepants ride, even though Daughter and I looked rather Mod Squad in our 4D glasses (6D in my case)



Take my advice. Don’t waste the $5 a person. The thing lasted about 4 minutes and was a complete ripoff. But other than that, the Aquarium was awesome. Although I did rather wonder where this guy fits into the whole Aquarium theme:



I mean, I know he can survive underwater for periods of time, but he’s hardly what I consider fishy. Still, he looks kinda how I felt after all I ate over the weekend.


Speaking of which, that evening, we had a delicious birthday dinner with The Webmeister’s parents. Mom Webmeister cooked really awesome “Spherical meat” as my daughter calls them – that’s meatballs to the rest of us mere mortals. She also made these incredibly delicious truffle brownies that tasted like molten chocolate cake but in square rather than semicircular form. (See! I can speak food geometry, too!)

The following morning we hit the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia where I almost met Brian Selznick. More on that later. But first, I risked life and limb and $2 to ride the Sky Cycle:



The Franklin Institute is a really cool place and I highly recommend a visit.

Seeing as that it was the Webmeister’s birthday, we made him use this machine that takes a picture of you and then shows you what you’ll look like when you’re old.



I looked like an old hag. But lucky him - he looked pretty much the same. Now is that because he already looks old or because he’s ageless? Hmmm….

Anyway, I had to go out to the car with daughter to attend to some diabetes matters and on the way back in I saw that none other than BRIAN SELZNICK was giving a talk and then signing books. I was completely bummed because I was too late for the talk, but I was hoping to meet him at the signing in the Science Store afterwards, especially since we are now Scholastic sibs. But this is what the line looked like:





So this is about as close as I got to Brian Selznick (taken through the window of the store):



I’m sure we would have been best buds if we’d like, you know, actually met. BFF’s, in fact. Oh well. Maybe next time.

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Following a night of door slamming and being told that I am the "WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD!!!!" I wake up and attempt to give kids breakfast, eat breakfast myself, then get dog to vet by 8am so she can have the exploratory surgery and biopsies.

Kids fighting. Daughter's friend calls and says she can't walk to school with daughter today, so I must drive her. Make daughter's vegebacon and son's waffle. Start to make my own breakfast and coffee, but have to race to drop off daughter. Race home, finishing making my breakfast (vegebacon and cottage cheese in a pita) and realize I don't have time to eat it so wrap in a paper towel and pile son, sandwich and dog (not to mention self) in car and drive to carpool rendez-vous.

Get out of car to ask other mother if son can stay with her so I can get the dog to the vet in time for surgery. She says yes. I get back in car. Reach for sandwich. It's gone and dog is licking her chops. The same dog who wasn't supposed to have any food or water after midnight. Yes, that dog. Who has now eaten 3/4 of a vegebacon and cottage cheese pita sandwich. MY 3/4 of a vegebacon and cottage cheese pita sandwich.

Call the_webmeister in hysterics. Complain about the injustice of it all, because if I hadn't had to drive daughter to school I would have eaten breakfast at home and there wouldn't have been a sandwich in the car for Sandy to consume. He tells me to shut-up and call the vet. I shut up and call vet. Vet says that it would be dangerous to perform surgery if she's eaten.

Me: :-(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Take dog home. Will need to return dog to vet the following morning to board over the weekend while we go to New Jersey to celebrate The Webmeister's birthday with his family. Dog's surgery will take place on Monday morning, and she will be at the vet's already so no chance of her eating my breakfast.

Meanwhile, while the Webmeister (aka, Mr. Handyman) is in town, I'm taking the opportunity to get him to do those little chores for which men are so useful. Not that, you dirty minded so-and-so's! (ok, maybe that, but we won't discuss that here, this being The Clean Blog.) No, I'm talking about things like fixing the plastic thingie on the shower door so it doesn't leak.

We take a little jaunt to Norwalk, heading for Home Depot in search of plastic thingies, although the Webmeister isn't sure that Home Depot will have the right stuff. But lo! Right before we get to HD, there appears before me a sign, like an oasis of serendipity in a previously unserendipitous morning:



For some reason, TWM and I found this rather hilarious, as well as being serendipitous. I mean seriously - how often does it happen that you happen to be looking for, say...a specific size of widgit to fix your thingie, and then you're driving along wondering where the @$#^&& you're going to find that size of widgit and figuring that with the way your morning has been going with the Pita Plundering Pet there's no way you're going to find it and then, all of a sudden you see "MR WIDGIT"!!

I don't know about you, but in The Surreal Life of Saraclaradara, this sort of fortuitous happening is rare.

Meanwhile, on the dog surgery front...successful happened this morning and nothing obvious found. We're awaiting the results of the biopsies later this week for more news.

And thanks to The Webmeister and Mr. Shower Door, my shower door is now water tight.

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First, the bad news. Woke up this morning and went to wake up the kids. Came back into my room to find that dog had peed on my bed. On the new custom made coverlet thingie, which thankfully is washable. Realize that there is something seriously up with the dog, as if the events of the last 24 hours weren't enough to give me that clue.

Vet calls around 11:30. Sandy's bloods came back abnormal, with very low proteins. He needs to do more tests, but it appears this aggression might well be the result of a serious underlying medical condition. Here's what an internet search for low proteins in blood turned up as possible causes:

Low albumin levels may be caused by:

* A poor diet (malnutrition).
* Severe burns.
* Kidney disease.
* Liver disease.
* An autoimmune disease, such as systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE) or rheumatoid arthritis.
* Gastrointestinal malabsorption syndromes, such as sprue or Crohn's disease.
* Hodgkin's lymphoma.
* Uncontrolled diabetes.
* Hyperthyroidism.
* Heart failure.

We can rule out the first two, because she eats prescription dog food and hasn't been burned. None of the rest are good options. I'm wondering how I would cope with a diabetic dog on top of a diabetic daughter, if that is the cause. She (the dog, not the daughter) is going back into the vet on Thursday, because I'm looking after my nephews, ages 1 and 3 this weekend, and I don't want to risk having an unpredictable dog around. Plus it'll give the vet a chance to do more tests.


Sandy, in better days

Oh, and any of you who are or know therapists? Tell them they are totally in the wrong field. Because I heard back from the Dog Therapist office, and do you know how much the dog therapist gets an hour? $220!! That's more than I pay for my kids' therapists!

There goes my winter vacation...

But it's not all gloom and doom chez Saraclaradara.

Because I came home today to these:



In the heat of all the dog related trauma, I'd completely spaced that today is the one year anniversary of my first date with The Webmeister! And he remembered! And I forgot!!!

To say this man is brave (foolish?) is an understatement. He took me on, baggage (of which blog readers will know there is plenty!) and all. He entered the Surreal Life of Saraclaradara, and instead of driving away screaming, never to return (which I wouldn't have blamed him for doing, in the beginning) he stayed. And boy, am I happy he did.

Webmeister, you are amazing, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life.

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1) Thirteen Reasons Why by my favorite cross-dressing dance partner, Disco Merman Jay Asher. It arrived in my mailbox on Saturday morning and I finished it Sunday afternoon. I probably would have finished it earlier except that one of the other things I'm loving, the_webmeister was visiting from Boston for the weekend.
It's really wonderful when you read a book by someone who you adore as a person and you finish the last word and sigh, "Wow," because their book is just as awesome as they are. When you're two thirds of the way through the book and part of you wants to finish because you're desperate to know what happens but another part of you doesn't want it to end because you are so involved with these characters. You know the feeling. Jay's book reminds us of how our smallest interactions with others can have a profound affect - both for the negative and the good. So Jay - you done good.

2) My daughter decided to crack open the fantastic kids cookbook I bought her for Chanukah two years ago, and she made these yummy chocolate crossaints AND between her and The Webmeister they rustled up "Smoked Gouda and caramelized onion quesadillas", which were also scrummy, despite the slight "learn by doing" gaff of putting a tablespoon of vinegar into the caramelized onions instead of a teaspoon. The best part was that I just sat on the sofa engrossed in Jay's book while all this was going on, emerging only to taste the delicious results.

3) I've been interviewed! Check me out on Barbara Bietz's blog. (Nice alliteration there, Barbara!) It was really fun :-)

4) Even though temperatures in the 70's make it feel distinctly unseasonable, the leaves are turning and it's gorgeous.

5) It's my first Halloween in on a street where people actually go to trick or treat. (At my old house we had a total of 1 trick-or-treater in the 8 years we lived there.) My kids are really into it, and if I must be truthful, which of course I must with my dear blog readers, so am I.

I'm going to be be something writing related for Halloween. You'll have to wait and see.

Funny story though:

I was in Party City yesterday buying that fake spider web stuff for the bushes outside the house and the guy at the cashier was dressed as Little Red Riding Hood, but with boobs.

I asked him if the boobs came with the costume and the cashier next to him said, "No, they're his." Hmmm. O-kay.

So as part of the checkout he asks for my phone number and when we walked away, my daughter (whom I'll remind you is 11) said, "I'm not sure I would give my phone number to a guy dressed in women's clothing."

I'm not sure how wild old me ended up with such a sensible, practically puritanical daughter.

6) The Netflix movies I watched last night: Best in Show, Christopher Guest's hilarious send-up of the dog show culture and a real surprise that I'd not even heard of prior to the Netflix recommendation, Greenfingers, starring the scrumptious Clive Owen.

7) When you've been trying to deal with a problem with your book and you're somewhere not thinking about your book and the solution pops into your head.

Speaking of which, I must get a) write my column and b) get on with said book!

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Wow. I can’t believe it’s already this weekend (well, almost) and I haven’t even blogged about last weekend. Work, political activities and kids (well, kid – my daughter was away at Nature’s Classroom all week, the lucky thing) have really taken away from my blogging time.

So the kids were with their dad last weekend for the first time since the end of July, so I got to go up to Boston and visit the Webmeister.

What with it being a bank holiday weekend, a journey that normally takes me 3 hours max took me FIVE, which ended up being rather stressful since we had theater tickets for 8pm. I left CT at 3, thinking I’d have plenty of time to toodle up to Boston, change clothes, relax and drive to the theater together. As it turned out, I arrived drove straight to the theater and arrived with about five minutes to spare.

It was a rather fun Boston Center for the Arts production of “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum”, which I haven’t seen in yonks, and thoroughly enjoyed.

Afterwards, we walked past the Mills Gallery on the way to dinner. It had an installation by British artist Martin Creed called “The Lights Going On and Off”, which is apparently one of Creed’s most well known works, for which he received the Turner Prize in 2001.

Basically the entire gallery was painted white, with a little white sofa and table in one of the windows. And…you guessed it – the lights kept turning on and off every few minutes. As we stood in front of the windows watching a man walked by and expressed my opinion perfectly – “What a load of cr*p!”

Ok, I’ll admit that I don’t “get” all modern art. But I was practically rolling on the pavement laughing when I read the explanation of the work on the gallery door:

The title is descriptive – in the work the lights go on and off, like someone flipping a switch, repeatedly and at set time intervals. Using the existing track lights in the Mills, it will fill the entire 2200 sq. foot space for an installation that is pointedly spare and quietly provocative, with a touch of humor and wonder at the role of inspiration in the creative process. Ultimately, The Lights Going On and Off is an experiential art viewing event, one that is both challenging and poetic.

”Quietly provocative”?! “Challenging and poetic”?! Give me a break! How about ANNOYING AS HELL? I was facing the gallery when while we ate dinner (al fresco, in the Northeast, in October…amazing!) and the only thing it inspired me to do was to blog about how ridiculous I found it.

On Saturday evening we had dessert at this amazing place called Finale. It specializes in my favorite food group, dessert. The Webmeister and I each had one of the Signature Molten Chocolate desserts.


To say it was awesome would be an understatement. I was glad that we weren’t sharing, otherwise I might have had to stab the Webmeister’s hand with my fork. I mean love might be love, but all’s fair when it comes to molten chocolate desserts.

Continuing our modern art theme, we went to the DeCordova Museum and Sculpture Park on Sunday. If you’re ever in the Boston area, I’d highly recommend a visit. This is modern art I “get” – or at least kind of get.

For example, there were many days during the Never Ending (but Finally Ended) Divorce that I felt like this:




The Webmeister and I had a fun time walking around and trying to guess the names of the sculptures. I nailed the “Trojan Chicken”



and with a guess of “Trojan Pig” came really close to this one:



(real name: “Trojan Piggy Bank” – not sure about the obsession with Trojans but maybe the artist had just drooled over the delectable Eric Bana

in Troy, or something)

But there were some that really had me flummoxed – and like “Lights Turning on and Off”, somewhat annoyed.

Like this one:




Ok, so what do YOU think this is called? No cheating now…but when you’ve made your guess,

Ok, so was called “Butterflies”. Go figure. My guess was “Cannonballs”. If I were getting really avant garde maybe I’d go with “Rabbit Turds”. But ”Butterflies”?. Go figure.

I can’t remember the exact name for this one, but I wasn’t far off with “Coneheads”.



And I was going to suggest The Webmeister and I take a romantic photo a deux next to this one:



till we got closer and realized that maybe it was quite so romantic after all:



There’s something about pickaxes and body parts that kinda takes the romance out of things, no?

It was a fun weekend – just the right amount of culture, activity, chocolate and napping.

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Just returned from wet but nonetheless fun trip to Hershey Park with the kids and the_webmeister. Yes it was. The first trip which we've all taken together, that is. It went surprisingly well. Maybe because I turned green on the first roller coaster, so Daughter ended up going on all the really fun ones with The Webmeister.

The WM also took the kids on the flying swings, which make me feel queasy just to watch people on them. I did manage to take this picture of The Webmeister's rather sexy legs as they went around.



Pretty much the only ride I was able to go on without feeling vomitous was the Fender Bender bumper cars (we were rained out of all the water rides - seems ironic doesn't it? - and those are the only ones that don't make me ill).

My son looks way too happy about preparing to smash his mother to smithereens:



It's unnerving to think that he'll be eligible to get his license for real in (gulp!) two years.


Meanwhile, here's my daughter and Hershey Bear preparing to knock the Reese's pieces out of me:



And speaking of Reeses Pieces, here's the Man (the Candy Bar) himself with the kids:



Meanwhile, when the kids and I got home last night (the WM spent the evening with his parents in NJ) I found my toilet blocked. I got the plunger and started plunging, but to no avail. So being the intrepid soul that I am, I decided to search the Internet for help.

And lo and behold! I discovered this on Videojug:


VideoJug: How To Unblock A Toilet

Of course, when the Webmeister arrived to find me checking out a video about unclogging a toilet...well, let's just put it this way...I will be hearing about this for a LONG, LONG time. I'd been plunging the $#@#&&** toilet for half an hour and then the Webmeister arrives and gives two quick plunges and gurgle gurgle, the thing clears. I bet it was just all the elbow grease I'd put in before he got there. Yeah. That was it.

Anyway, Videojug.com has all sorts of entertaining videos. After the toilet was duly unclogged, The Webmeister and I decided to do some relationship work by watching these two fine pieces of cinematic and romantic merit:

1) How to be a perfect boyfriend


VideoJug: How To Be The Perfect Boyfriend

and 2) How to be a perfect girlfriend


VideoJug: How To Be The Perfect Girlfriend

There are all sorts of amusing and informative things on this site...I can see it will be the source of many happy hours of procrastination in the days to come.

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Last week, the Webmeister helped me go pick out a new hybrid bike. Bear in mind that my buttocks had not been on a bicycle saddle for nigh on 25 years. Well, except for the one time I tried a spin class about 8 years ago and ended up with two extremely painful black and blue marks on my butt, one on each cheek. I couldn't sit comfortable for a week and never darkened the spin class door again.

Four things made me risk getting back in the saddle. 1) I was inspired by all the people I saw commuting by bike in Germany, including several extremely well dressed and slender women. 2) Given that beer and apple strudel consumption has wrought havoc with my waistline, I figured I need to up the cardio. 3) I now live in a relatively FLAT part of town. The hills are mild, not murderous like they were near my old abode and 4) I actually live close enough to places I can bike TO, like the library, the grocery store, Dunkin Donuts etc. You know, the essential destinations.

This week I'm also doing an hour a day tennis clinic put on by the Town of Greenwich for a very nominal fee. I haven't played since before the move, and I've missed it a lot, so I'm really enjoying it. Well yesterday I biked to the tennis court for the clinic. It was a lovely ride and I felt nice and warmed up by the time I got there. While this all was fine and dandy, I forgot about biking home. Well, I didn't exactly forget, but it's kind of like labor - you know the baby has to come out somehow, but you'd rather not think about the specifics.

By the time I got home, my legs were jello-erific. Fortunately, J, my Number One Fan who lives down the street, was running a lemonade stand in her driveway, so I was able to gather some delicious and much needed refreshment before cycling the home stretch.

Bottom line: Riding a bicycle is like...well...riding a bicycle. You don't forget how. You just forget how much fun it is, that's all.

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Tonight, my final holiday blog. I don’t mean to shortchange Canada, but since the trip there was mainly to visit the Webmeister’s wonderful relatives, not to mention the fact that we were kind of museum’d out, we kept sightseeing to a minimum.

But we did go to the Royal Ontario Museum , affectionately known as the ROM, with it’s new addition, “The Chrystal” designed by none other than Daniel Libeskind. It’s a beautiful space, but most of it wasn’t opened and the gallery that was open seemed to be an underutilization of the space. Not that I’m an art expert or anything. But that’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it.

In the older part of the museum, they had a really cool exhibit of old typewriters. Can you imagine writing your novel on this?



Frankly, I love looking at the old typewriters but for writing I’ll take my MacBook any day.

Afterwards, I convinced the Webmeister that we should go see the new Harry Potter movie, as my kids had already seen it in the UK so I didn’t have to wait until they got back to see it myself. On the way to buy tickets, we stopped at Indigo Bookstore so I could buy HP7, because despite the fact I had my Amazon copy waiting for me at home, I just.couldn’t.wait. And yes. I’ve finished it. And I won the $5 bet I had with my son about whether Snape is good or evil. But I won’t say who bet what just inc case you haven’t read the book yet. I’m not one of those mean spoiler people. Well, except when it comes to American Idol viewers on the West Coast :>)

After I’d made my HP purchase, the Webmeister said, “You should check if they’ve got your book.”

“Nah,” I said. “They won’t.”

Fortunately, the Webmeister has more confidence in me than I do. He ran a check on the in-store computer and lo and behold:



Funny, you didn’t know that Confessions was written by David Lubar, did you?

Of course, I couldn’t block David’s book, which was the one that was really face out



So I left my book face out next to David’s blocking the spines out section of C.S. Lewis. I figured I need the sales more than he does (CS Lewis, that is) him being, you know…dead.

Liked the movie of HP5 more than the book, which seems like heresy for me but HP5 was my least favorite book of the series.

Across the street from our hotel was this amusingly named pub:



Oh no, you dirty minded Yanks! It’s not that…Spotted Dick is an English pudding made of suet which has caused much mirth to visiting friends from across the Pond. My cousin Paula caused mirth to the Brits, however, when the waitress came for the dessert order and she asked for “A spot of dick.”

Ok, enough of that. This is the clean blog, after all.

We also went to Pardi Gras at the Distillery District which as a real blast. Or at least it was till we went back to the garage where we’d parked the car to go to visit The Webmeister’s cousins and found this:





Fortunately, they only grabbed the Webmeister’s overnight bag, which was bad enough, but we both were having palpitations over the thought that they might have taken our computers, which were in the back along with the rest of the luggage, but weren’t immediately visible like his overnight bag was.

Anyway, we had a marvelous time visiting the relatives, and even went to Canada’s Wonderland for our last day. I sat and read HP7 while the Webmeister went on the barf-inducing roller coasters.

This officially ends my holiday blogalog. Now it’s back to my basement lair, which now that I’ve finished my freelance piece, I plan to take the time to finish unpacking and organizing. Pictures of that another day!

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as in "I feel Good...dadadadada...like I knew that I would now".

It's been a really long and arduous three and a half years (well, actually more like closer to nine years - but who's counting?) but these days I find myself walking around humming James Brown. We moved into our new house a week ago today and I've already unpacked most of my books and arranged them on my brand new bookshelves, made with tremendous skill and speed by wonderful carpenter Scott Hayward. There's something about being surrounded by my beloved books that makes me feel like it's really home.

My study is looking awesome - with the slight problem that the desk and filing cabinets I ordered aren't scheduled to arrive for another 6 weeks. (!!) Still, the books are on the shelves, so I'm going to put up a little bridge table and settle down to writing something other than checks. I'll post some before and after pictures when I get a chance, as well as some photos of our new digs.

The best thing of all is living in a real neighborhood. I lived in my old house 8 years and saw my neighbors once. Now there are kids running in and out of my house constantly. G and A, who live behind us, brought me over a plate of cookies the other day as a welcome present. Two other neighbors gave us plants.

My friend Miriam has been giving me a bottle of champagne each year for the last three years, and I kept saving them for a happy occasion - "when I finally get divorced"..."when I sell my second book" etc. Well, on Saturday I had an impromptu barbecue and finally popped the corks of some rather lovely Tattinger and Pol Roger. The kids were running from my house to next door, where the neighbors were making Smores. I'm so happy with our new home; even the Webmeister, who's not into all that airy fairy stuff, said that the energy in the new house is better than in the old house.

And speaking of the Webmeister, I'd like to give him some public kudos for helping me to get the Airport Express I bought yesterday set up to work as a network extender, so I now have a good wireless signal in my bedroom. I'd been on the phone with Apple Customer support for 20 minutes unable to solve the problem - they had to transfer me to an expert specialist and there was at least an additional 15 minutes wait on hold. About 10 minutes into the 15 minutes, I got disconnected (scream!) and when I called back I got the "it's past office hours" recording. (Double scream!) I called the Webmeister in dismay, and within 5 minutes he'd got the problem sorted. "That's why you should call me first," he told me.

Lesson learned. Next time I will. And now that I've got Bedroom Wireless I'll hopefully be able to keep up with my blogging a bit better.

What else? Well, today I had lunch with my new editors at the House of Clifford, David Levithan and Jen Rees. I love them both, and I'm so excited about working with them. So I still don't know the new title of the book, but the tentative pub is early spring 2009. I'm looking forward to getting stuck back into writing again after weeks of packing - and then unpacking - boxes.

Last but not least, a funny anecdote. My fourth grader neighbor, J, is convinced that I'm a really famous author, despite me saying, "Actually J, I'm not *that* famous" on more than one occasion. The other day he asked me, "Do you go places in a limousine?" Hahahahahahahah! He must have me mistaken for Nora Roberts or something. I go places in a dented, dirty Mom- Mobile.

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