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Yesterday morning during my (short) commute, I was listening to Dear Sugar, which is one of my favorite podcasts.

In the 13th episode, the subject was about money.

One of the letters was about how a young woman felt bad that she was rich and wondered if it was her wealth privilege that gave her access to being able to be an artist.

It’s true that making art — especially writing — requires a lot of time, which many people don’t have because of family responsibilities, jobs, or bills.

Growing up working-class, it wasn’t even an option for me to even think about writing until I was on my feet financially and well into a career that could support me.

On the podcast, the hosts talk about the importance of having a patron. It got me thinking: Does being an artist require you to have a patron?

When I think of patron, I think of a rich person who sponsors you or getting an endowment or residency from an arts program. But maybe for people who don’t have access to such things, it could be as simple as a supportive critique partner or a writing mentor maybe even getting a scholarship to a MFA program. Cultivating an artist takes time, which in most cases also involves money.

It can be done of course. Anything worth having isn’t easy. It may take longer and require lots of discipline and focus to get where you want to be.

But I always think about the obstacles. I often wonder how many talented novelists we’ve lost due to them not having access to time and money.

Still in the revision cave. The middle is a rough place to be but there is light at the end of the tunnel of this current novel project. Still on track to be finished with this particular novel this summer.

Currently I’m reading The Writer’s Guide to Persistence by Jordan Rosenfeld. She’s also the author of one of my favorite craft books Make A Scene , which I also highly recommend.

This book is for writers who want to start and preserve a writing practice. Persistence is the key along with finding ways to balance writing with the rest of your life.

I’m really loving the book so far. When I’m finished, I’ll be sure to share any gems that may also be helpful to you in your writing practice in another post.

For those of you on Twitter, you can follow the author @Jordanrosenfeld. She has a great hashtag #WritersGuide2Persistence where she gives great motivation and advice for keeping your writer’s practice on track.

Hope everyone is writing and that life is treating you well.

The year is coming to a close.

When 2014 first opened up, there were shiny new ideas, bursts of energy, and an overall hopeful outlook of a clean slate. It was a chance to get things right, get things done, and end the year with a feeling of accomplishment.

There were the things we thought we would manage: distractions, obligations, responsibilities.

But then there were the things we never saw coming: illness, social injustices, death of loved ones.

The year may have worn us all down. It could have been small cuts. Or devastating blows. Or deep wounds that are still quite not healed.

Either way, you’re standing on the cusp of a new year and you may not feel that you’ve done what you wanted. Now at the end, you may be left with the feeling that another year has slipped by. One more chance has been wasted. The initial evaluation of the year looks like another wash-up. No real successes. Another failure.

Maybe not.

Maybe it wasn’t at all bad. Let go of evaluating the disappointments, lost battles, and setbacks. Maybe instead concentrate on all the good things that happened to you in 2014. Focus instead on the intangible successes and give gratitude for your blessings — no matter how small. Make a list.

For me, here are some things from my list:

• Being recognized and valued for my skills at my job
• Selling my house and moving to the city
• Developing a morning writing routine
• Creating a total of 45K new words
• Keeping the promise to travel for quarterly vacations
• Making beautiful memories with my father
• Listening to my heart and giving it a voice

I’m sure you can make your own list as well. Write it out. Glow in its truth and then get ready to face 2015 not as broken and bitter but as open and optimistic.

NaNoWriMo is finished. I didn’t win but I did get more words down than I had in a long time. Winning was not my ultimate goal but to get back in the habit of facing the blank page and to start writing again.

Another thing that I’ve learned is that writing in the morning is where I got the best results. In the past, I wrote at night but my day job responsibilities have changed dramatically and my brain cells are low by evening.

It’s wasn’t very appealing at first but once it became a habit again, I loved the boost it gave me because it meant I was putting writing as a priority — the first thing I do in the day and word by word I found myself getting my confidence back.

It’s very hard to get back into your story after distractions or any kind of emotional trauma. And if you have a perfectionist bent like me, it can be even more discouraging because you know there is still work to do as well.

The point is, you must keep going. You can’t give up. You are not in competition with anyone else. You are unique and you also have a story to tell. You can only do this one word at a time.

With my morning sessions, I have a few things I do and I thought I would share them with you:

• Coffee Meditation: The fact for me is that I need coffee to become conscious. After I make my coffee, I sit and sip and think about what I want to write or revise or on most days I sit in silence and wait for my mind to wake up. After the caffeine has kicked in and I can go face the page.
• Reading Selection: I read a chapter from my always huge TBR leaning tower of books. It gives me the inspiration I need or if I’m reading fiction, it can give me an example of how a particular scene can be done. This week, I’m reading Imagine This by Maxine Clair.
• Writer Journal: I’ve had a writer journal for years. This is the place where I write about my progress or story ideas. It’s a hodgepodge of things related to the writing process only. This is the first writing I do. It’s almost like a warm-up in a way.
• Word quota or Revision Goal: If I’m writing draft, I usually set a 250 or a 500 word quota if I’m a drafting a scene. No editing, no correcting. Just getting words down on the page. If I’m revising, I set a goal to revise a specific chapter or a specific scene.
• Next Day Prep: I think about what I want to work on the next day. It gives me something to look forward to and gets my subconscious percolating about ideas.

My writing session usually is around 2 hours (5:30 am to 7:30 am). Usually the sun is just starting to rise when I’m done. The city starts to wake up and then I go about my day feeling like a bad ass who has worked on her novel.

Morning sessions are what work for me. Do you have a structure or specific time that you work on your writing?

She woke up torpid each morning, slowed by sadness, frightened by the endless stretch of day that lay ahead. Everything had thickened. She was swallowed, lost in a viscous haze, shrouded in a soup of nothingness. Between her and what she should feel, there was a gap. She cared about nothing. She wanted to care, but she no longer knew how; it had slipped from her memory, the ability to care. Sometimes she woke up flailing and helpless, and she saw, in front of her and behind her and all around her, an utter hopelessness

From Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

When I read this passage in the above novel, I thought that this was probably the most accurate description of what depression can feel like. Depression can be a relentless and elusive entity.

There has been a lot of talk lately about depression due to recent death of Robin Williams. As writers with our creative spirit, we tend to live inside our heads. It can be very easy to go into a downward spiral. Between writer’s block, rejection letters, dealing with envy and comparing yourself to other writers, it’s easy to fall into depression’s grip.

The thing about our society is that everyone feels that they should be happy all the time and then feel guilty when they don’t. Social media doesn’t help much either because we tend to only share our sunny days instead of our stormy ones.

Then there’s the stigma that people with depression are weak and need to get a grip. This is probably the most common reason that people hide their feelings. Sometimes the happiest people can be the saddest people. Emotions are sticky and private. They can be overwhelming. It’s messy work and makes people uncomfortable. It’s hard to share when the possible reply could be a brush off instead of empathy. It’s hard to be vulnerable with your emotions. It’s much better to fake it and pretend that everything is okay.

The most important thing is that you shouldn’t ignore the feelings. It could be more than a case of having a bad day or melancholy. Events like heartbreak, death of a loved one, or other personal losses can have an effect over a prolonged period of time.

So don’t ignore these feelings. They are real. Don’t feel guilty that you should feel happy. You are not weak. And most important, don’t feel like there is no hope. The trick of depression is that it tells you that you don’t matter and nobody cares. But that is a total lie: You do matter and there are people who care. Ask for help. It is waiting for you.

We are six months into 2014. It’s June. Isn’t that crazy?

2014 Goals: Revision, Revision

Summer is my favorite time of year. For one thing the software geek job tends not to be “as crazy” as it is during other times of the year and I can get more writing done. My goal is to finish my revisions. Morning writing sessions are helping a lot as well as not giving myself such pressure to be perfect. Basically I’m trying to “fail better” and “write from the heart.” Instead of trying to write what can sell, I would rather write what I would want to read. Much better.

Doing More in 2014: Vacations

I recently went to my favorite place — the beach — and mostly ate shaved ice and read books. Works for me. It was sultry and hot — just the way I like it!


One of my dream vacations is to go to Bali. This Travel Noire post Bali: Island in the Sun just made me want to book a ticket. I’m going to try and make that happen soon. Maybe in 2016? *crosses fingers*

Recently Read Books

I finally got a chance to read the sweeping, thick novel The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert and also the provocative and stunning An Untamed State by Roxane Gay. Both are excellent reads.

Inspirational Gems

Here are some gems that I’ve found in cyberspace that you might find interesting.

YouTube Video: Inspire Her Mind – Promoting More Girls to go into STEM

Shonda Rhimes’ Real Talk for Dartmouth Grads: Dreams Are for Losers

It’s been awhile since my last post. Hope everything is OK with everyone!

I’ve slowly managed my way back to civilization and “real world” life. Last month, I spent a week in the Caribbean and I must say it was the best thing I could have done for myself.

I was off the grid too. No access to my phone. No access to social media. It forced me to enjoy right what was in front of me.

I also didn’t do any writing. Usually when I take off and travel, it usually involves some type of writing – working or revising a current WIP but this time I literally did nothing but relax, read, and enjoyed the ocean, the sun, and the sand.

Being of the off the grid has benefits. Here were some of mine:

• You can bring focus back to yourself. Self-care is something we don’t do enough of and having limited access to the outside world allowed me to access and remember all the simple things I love that bring me joy.
• You can get back in touch with nature’s beauty. Just the simple things like the frosted wave caps of the ocean, the melody of a tropical bird, or even the sun baked warmth of the sand was a natural endorphin that gave me calm and peace.
• You can practice the art of doing nothing. Everyone has a “to-do” list. It’s always “Go, Go, Go!” Sitting and doing nothing usually makes me feel guilty. But in reality it was a small gift that I gave to myself.

I know that not everyone can take off for a week and chill in the Caribbean but there are some small things everyone can do to take time off the grid. Maybe take a day and not use any smartphones or social media. Take pleasure in staying in your pajamas and sleeping in for as long as you want. Reserve a day to have a binge-watch party or read that book you’ve been trying to complete in snippets. Go to the park and have a picnic with no timeline of how long you stay.

Or make it a daily practice. Get up an hour early when the house is quiet or stay up a little later at night when everyone is asleep. Or for the busy person whose schedule is overflowing, how about just 10 minutes in nature? Put your bare feet in grass, close your eyes to the sun, and take a deep breath?

Have any of you been off the grid? Do any of you incorporate it in your life as a practice? I would love to hear about it!

Dear Novel,

First, I owe you an apology. Over the last couple of months, I know that we haven’t spent much quality time together. I’ve been so busy at work and I’m sorry if you felt that I was neglecting you.

I really appreciate your patience. I know that we’ve talked about our future and exciting plans. I haven’t forgotten. Sometimes it’s the only thing that has kept me going over these last few crazy weeks. Please know that you’ve been close in my heart all this time.

I’m excited about our upcoming vacation together. My hope for us is that we can rekindle the creativity and passion again in Hawaii. I look forward to spending quality time with you on the beach in the shade of palm trees. You will have the full attention you deserve and I will listen to you and we can move forward.

I want you to know that I haven’t given up on us and please know that you are a very important part of my life.

Love always,
Karen

If you could write a letter to your novel, what would you say?

I know as writers, we tend to spend a lot of our time writing and reading. These two main components are very important, but also having outside interests. I was talking with a writer friend about some of our other interests — things that have *nothing* to do with writing and how they balance our lives, keep us learning, or just are plain fun.

Here are some of my non-writing interests:

Nails. I have a minor obsession with manicures and pedicures. For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may have seen pictures of some of my favorite nail colors and manicures. My current favorite thing is the the Gelish manicure which stays on your nails chip-free for up to 2 weeks. Love it! I also love the fact manis and pedis can very be soothing and it’s always fabulous to have pretty hands and feet.

Fitness. I’ve always been into some kind of sports but fell out of habit after college. In the last few years, I’ve renewed my love of the gym — in particular — spinning, which is basically an instructor-led class on a stationary bike. I love these classes! They always fill me up with lovely endorphins and challenge me to get stronger. Plus it has also led to me losing 30 lbs in the last two years, which has helped out a lot health-wise as well. Now I’m starting to focus on the world of strength-training.

Needlepoint. My craft of choice is the cross-stitch. I have several “masterpieces” that I’ve made over the years. It was one of the easier crafts to learn being left-handed. There is something very therapeutic about cross-stitching. It helps me calm down and gives me pleasure plus I love displaying the final results in beautiful frames and giving them as gifts to friends and family.

What about you writer friends? What are some of your non-writing interests? What kind of pleasure or learning experience do you gain from them?

I was watching this show on TV about social networking and how much it’s changed our every day lives. It is amazing how different things are than just even two years ago. However, there is a downside to all of this new stuff like lower productivity and ironically more isolation and loneliness.

Being a software geek, I delve in all things technology but there are some things that I’m still lagging behind. Like for instance, I think I’m like one of the last eight people on Earth who doesn’t have a Facebook account.

I do understand the value of social networking. Blogging can be considered part of the medium. Without blogging, I wouldn’t have met nearly half of the writer friends that I know today. And I’ve definitely have seen the effect of Twitter. I have learned a lot of things and even met some great writers using that tool as well.

But sometimes, ugh, it can just get so overwhelming. A total time-suck. Then it starts to feel more like an obligation rather than something fun.

When it gets like this, at least for me, I know I need a social timeout. Just a disconnection from all things social networky for a period of time.

This is what I did this weekend and it was really nice — although I did sort of miss Twitter. Did anything happen? Ha.

Writer friends, do you take social timeouts? How do you manage the balance between life, writing projects, and social networking?