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I have lots of fears and phobias, some rational, some irrational. Here is a (by no means comprehensive) list of some of them: dizzying heights, sheer vertical drops; wasps, bees, hornets, well almost anything that buzzes and gets anywhere near me; enclosed spaces like tunnels and caves; dark places – even a deserted street at night, which is more frightening because it is deserted, and then, bizarrely, becomes even more frightening when you see a lone figure walking towards you; cemeteries, at night; the woods, at night, but also in the daytime if they’re deserted. Yes, there is a general night/dark theme going on here, and a fear of bumping into someone when no one else is around. People do go for walks on their own all the time. But not me.
Although, while in Rome this summer, I actually wanted to go to a dark, enclosed maze of tunnels of death, but didn’t have time. So the Catacombs will have to wait - for a research trip for the next book perhaps...
I have lots fears and phobias where those came from, and I haven’t even started on the nightmares. I’m sure everyone has irrational phobias and fears, and some rational ones too, but I think I have more than the fair share. Am I unusual? I don’t honestly know. I’ve asked family members about theirs, and I do seem to have far more than they do. They tell me it’s down to my ridiculously overactive imagination. They tell me I’m far too superstitious, and suspicious, and that I always see the worst possible scenarios and imagine the worst possible outcomes.
Life would be so much easier, and far less scary, if my imagination wasn’t so overactive.
But I guess I need it to be that way. I’ve found a way of using it in my writing. Writing about them has not made the fears and phobias lessen in any way. They’re still very much present. I just wonder what would happen if I underwent hypnosis to sort out some of them. How would it affect me? How would it affect my writing? Would it become less dark? Would I find myself drawn to writing humorous light-hearted, heart- warming fiction? I did try my hand at writing that way, but it didn’t last long. It didn’t feel right and the words didn’t flow with the same ease. The book I’m working on at the moment is getting very dark. You’re probably not surprised to hear that if you’ve read The Long Weekend. It’s not an intentional thing. It’s just the way the book is flowing.
I would still love to be able to make teens and young adults laugh when they read my work, than cower and cry, but I fear that may never happen...
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By:
Savita Kalhan,
on 6/4/2014
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I was invited to take part in Loughborough University’s 2nd Literary Salon by Kerry Featherstone, lecturer in English. Industry professionals were invited: Walker Books and the literary agents from DKW, and another author – Maxine Linnell. The subject of the Salon was: Writing YA Fiction. We were each invited to speak, followed by a Q and A session, and, at the end of the evening, there was a Round Table. The audience comprised students, lecturers, authors and anyone in the local area interested in Teen/YA fiction. There was a great turn out and an interested and involved audience, with lots of discussions.
My talk focussed on the realities, good and bad, of being a children’s writer in the modern world, what an average advance might be, royalties, the changes in the publishing industry, and my experiences of being a teen/YA writer. I tried to give a balanced view on how difficult it is to make a living from writing, how a children’s writer today has to wear very many hats, know the industry and know how it works, while not neglecting the most important aspect of being an author: writing a book. I was a little surprised by how many students of creative writing were unaware of the realities of being a children’s writer.
I hope I didn’t put them off wanting to be writers!
The round table discussions focussed on various issues, including age banding in children’s books, the changing reading habits of children and teenagers, and diversity in children’s books. Bali Rai joined the round table and talked about how he and Malorie Blackman have been discussing the lack of diversity in children’s literature for many years, and how little has changed in that time. I’ve blogged about diversity in Teen/YA lit here on An Awfully Big Blog Adventure here and on The Edge Blog here, and for Teen Librarian Monthly here. Reading David Thorpe’s interesting post on yesterday’s blog, made me wonder about the diversity in the ethnicity of the children who had entered the 500 word story writing competition where 118,632 entries were received.
The Literary Salon was a very good event for students who were interested in pursuing a career in writing. They got to meet a publisher, agents and writers, and to put questions to them. It was the kind of event I would have loved to have gone to when I first started writing and knew so little about the publishing world.
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By:
Savita Kalhan,
on 4/4/2014
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According to a study by the Cooperative Children’s Book Center at the University of Wisconsin, of the 3,200 children’s books published in 2013 in the US, just 93 were about black people. The UK fares little better by all accounts.
Leila Rasheed has blogged about the importance of non-issue based children’s books featuring children from ethnic backgrounds, and why she finds it hard to write about non-white characters. http://leilarasheeddotcom.wordpress.com/2014/03/20/permission-to-write-my-experience-of-being-a-british-asian-reader-and-writer-of-childrens-books/
Tanya Byrne has written about this on the Guardian books blog where she calls for more books featuring children of colour. https://href.li/?http://www.theguardian.com/childrens-books-site/2014/mar/20/tanya-byrne-top-10-black-characters-in-childrens-books?CMP=twt_gu
The dearth of non-white characters was raised by Dean Myers, in his article: Where are the People of Colour in Children’s Books. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/16/opinion/sunday/where-are-the-people-of-color-in-childrens-books.html?_r=1
And then again by his son Christopher Myers in The Apartheid of Children. https://href.li/?http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/16/opinion/sunday/the-apartheid-of-childrens-literature.html
There is now an increasing debate and demand for more diversity in children’s literature to reflect our increasingly multi-ethnic and multi cultural society.
Almost thirty years ago Verna Wilkins set up Tamarind Press in an attempt to redress the lack of books with children from non-white backgrounds being published in the children’s market. But ‘mainstream’ publishers have yet to catch up, and there is clearly still a huge lack of such books.
As a British Asian, who is 100% Indian in terms of heritage, but who is essentially more British than Indian, and as a big reader during my childhood, it was always a surprise when I found a book about a child who shared my skin colour. A nice surprise. Yes, often those kids were beset by problems such as racial abuse and stereotyping, but that wasn’t a problem for me because growing up in the UK at the time did in fact necessarily involve having to face those issues to a greater or lesser degree.
What bothers me now is the fact that, as all of the above authors have pointed out, there are still very few books that feature children of colour, whether or not they are issue-based or are 'normal' non-issue based stories .
Children are growing up in a society which is far more culturally mixed and diverse. But, for today's children, not much has changed from when I grew up, in terms of seeing and reading about a diverse range of children like themselves and their friends in literature.
That’s a problem.
I completely agree with Malorie when she talks about diversity of multi-cultural voices in children’s literature being of paramount importance, not least because it would promote awareness and understanding, and tolerance.
On a personal level, as a writer, I have written books featuring all white characters. People have often said that The Long Weekend could have been written by a white Anglo-Saxon. That’s fine. I find it quite amusing. It’s my fully Indian name on the spine. In another novel, Amnesia, the main character is an English boy, but his best friend is Indian and his girlfriend is half Italian. The book I have just completed is about an Asian girl and features predominately Asian characters of different backgrounds. I don’t feel that because I’m Asian I have to write about Asian characters all the time, or that I should feel obliged to.
What’s important in children’s literature is that a diversity of characters in terms of ethnicity and culture is depicted, and that their voices are heard, and that a child is no longer surprised when they find more than one book featuring someone of their ethnicity, culture or colour. Sadly, that’s not happening yet.
The definition of doubt, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction. It also defines my frame of mind at the moment, and the problem with that is that while a certain amount of it is very good when writing, too much of it is very, very bad. It’s inhibiting, and for a while it has been paralysing. It has affected my confidence in my ability to write, and my self-belief was shot. Words were written and then scrubbed. More words were written, and then rewritten to be scrubbed again and then not written at all. I got to the point where I seriously didn’t think I could write anymore.
Somehow, despite the doubts of the past year, an ending to my WIP was reached and written. That’s when the doubt sneakily crept back in and I decide to write an alternative ending. Which ending was the right ending? I didn’t know and couldn’t decide.
Was the ending the problem or was it the book itself?
Now I’m back at the beginning of the current WIP because having read it through, I wasn’t happy. It wasn’t working, the voice was lost. I tried rewriting the book, making it sharper, more immediate, but still it wasn’t working.
Was it time to shelve it and walk away? Well, I did for a while.
With the end of the summer looming, I managed to push all the doubts aside, and by now there were very many of them, and started again. It hit me straight away. I was writing the book in the ‘wrong’ person. I rewrote the first few chapters quickly, setting the ‘I’ aside for the third person, and I think it’s working. It’s got to be done quickly, before I change my mind, before I let the doubts creep back in.
I’ve been wrestling with the question of why I’ve been experiencing so many doubts this year for a while now. Writing is a solitary occupation; there are lots of rewards, few of them financial, and lots of knocks, which I’ve weathered as best I can. But recently I’ve been wondering whether it’s the right occupation for me. The problem is that there isn’t anything else that I’d rather do. So I’m writing again. And hoping and working towards being published again. I’m persevering, another word which, like doubt, I’d rather scrub from the dictionary.
I was going to write a nice little post on Dr. Seuss, which would have been far more uplifting, interesting and fun. So when I find the right frame of mind, that’s what I’ll write - next time.
Twitter @savitakalhan
When I wrote my teen/YA thriller, The Long Weekend, I was very much a novice in terms of my knowledge of the publishing industry, and in terms of book marketing and publicity, and also the internet. All have undergone considerable changes over the last few years, and a writer now must be far more savvy about the workings of the publishing industry than ever before.
This is a list of the ten things I wish I had known before writing a book. There are many other things I could have added to this list, but I had to stop somewhere...
1. Join a writers group. Most full-time writers write in long periods of isolation, so it’s good to know other people in the same situation. It’s a great support network!
2. Research your publishers, so that you know exactly who they are, their reputation and what they will do for you.
3. Find out where and when your book will be placed in different markets – and make sure your publishers adhere to the plan.
4. This one links to the above two – maintain a good relationship with your publishers and as far as possible, work together on a publicity plan for when the book is published.
5. Get a good agent – an agent is invaluable in fighting your corner. They’ve got contacts with publishing houses, they’ll promote your book, and they’ll decipher your contract if you’re lucky to get offered one.
6. Get on the internet and research all the book magazines and papers that review books and make sure review copies have been sent out. This is usually handled by the publisher, but it’s always worth checking up on.
7. Stay on the internet and research all the book blogging sites – this may take some time as there are so many and they are spread right across the world! Most publishers are now sending review copies to book bloggers on your behalf – if they are not then you may have to do this yourself, but it’s money well spent. Ask the bloggers to review your book – that’s what I did! They are wonderful, committed readers who love books and love reading, and if they like a book, they do a lot of shouting out about it for you. A public profile is very important, especially for publishers.
8. Before your book launch make sure you have told the world about your book and when it will be published. Surround the event with as much buzz as you can – raise your profile on social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter.
9. Arrange to have your book launch in a book shop – if you’re very lucky your publisher will pay something towards such an event. Make sure the event is well-publicised. Invite everyone you know, and people you don’t know too! Invite your local librarians, school librarians, any teachers you know, any book reviewers or book bloggers, local press. Publicity is the key factor to success, and the more you can generate for your book the better.
10. Don’t give up the day-job, but don’t stop reading, and never stop writing! And did I mention about not giving up the day job...?
For experienced ABBA authors, much of the above will be old hat. But as a new author, it is all too easy to be overwhelmed and make mistakes, just as I did. So if you are a new or aspiring new writer and you’ve found this website, then in all likelihood you’re already a step ahead of where I was when I was first published!
Anything you wished you’d known before writing a book?
For both the reader and the writer, endings are extremely powerful things. I know I feel like celebrating when I’ve typed the words THE END on a manuscript, even though I’m fully aware that in the life of a finished manuscript the hard work has only just begun. Which type of ending did I go for? Fairy Tale, Hollywood, Bollywood or Hopeless?
Fairy tale endings represent the typical ‘happily ever after’ ending, as in the Hansel and Gretel variety.
Hollywood endings are much more sugary, (sometimes sickly) sweet happily ever after endings with everyone riding off into the sunset.
Bollywood endings are happy endings too, but tempered by the extreme tragedies that have taken place; and they’re happy because everyone, who hasn’t died, is reunited at the end.
Hopeless endings are few and far between, and rarely have a place in children’s literature.
I don’t tend to write light humorous stories, oh, okay, I’ll be honest – my writing is actually quite dark. The Long Weekend was a story of two boys who are abducted after school. It’s labelled by the publishers as ‘not suitable for younger readers’ without stating a specific age on the back of the book. The boys are eleven years old, so you might think it was suitable for perhaps ten year olds to read. Well, it might be for a few. It’s the kind of book that cannot have a hopeless ending because it is for kids and because of what happens in the book. My agent actually asked me to write an epilogue because she was of the opinion that you could not end a children’s book, particularly a book like The Long Weekend, without some element of hope for the reader to take away at the end. I think she was right.
When I read books as a child ...and they lived happily ever after, was an ending I expected. I read lots of fairy tales from all across the world and they always ended like this too, no matter what terrible things had befallen the main characters. Years later when I read books to my young son, little had changed. They nearly all had happy endings. I remember once finding a book in the library that didn’t end happily and reading it to him. When we reached the end, he was really angry at the writer for not writing a proper ending. He’s a teenager now and although he still reads teen/YA fiction, he also reads adult books. I asked him about a book he read recently – Aravind Adiga’s Last Man in Tower, and he said, “It’s full of broken dreams,” but it’s really good. I haven’t read it yet, but I guess its ending must not be so dark, or maybe because he’s a little older he’s more ready for the occasional ‘hopeless’ ending.
I guess we’re generally conditioned to expect the happy ending. I suspect it’s what most children want, and perhaps what most adults want too. Imagine reading lots of books where the whole book is dark and grim and the ending no less so, the outcome so hopeless that you wonder what frame of mind the writer was in, or what he or she had gone through in their life, to end a book in that way.
Numerous studies have shown that a person’s reaction to a traumatic event can be significantly leavened by an ending that is positive – as long as the peak pain felt during the experience is less than the pain experienced at the end.
Recently, debate has intensified with regards to the darkness in teenage literature, specifically the supposed rise in ‘Sick Lit’. Alongside the waves of paranormal romances and dark dystopian thrillers, are readers looking for escapism or to be protected from dark issues and themes? Is it time for a return to ‘lighter’ teen/YA fiction? Or should we be encouraging authors to continue to explore the dark themes that teenagers need help coping with?
I’ll be interested in hearing what other authors and industry professionals have to say, but regarding endings specifically, I think most people would want an All’s Well That Ends Well ending.
www.savitakalhan.comThe Long Weekend book trailer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14TfYyHgD6Y@savitakalhan
I used to always start a new book in the autumn, when nights became longer, trees began to bunker down for winter, and the chill air meant the blanket draped over the back of my writing chair would soon be in use again. While summer died a quick death, one of the ideas percolating on the back burner would burst into life and solidify into a story. I would write solidly every day, sparing little time for my allotment, (well, apart from the big dig and manure spreading!), and it was probably my way of dealing with any Seasonal Affected Disorder because there was simply no time to be SAD. The first draft would be finished early in the New Year with the snow falling all around me, and by the time the yellow daffodils trumpeted the imminent arrival of spring, rereads and edits would be well underway. That was my routine, tried and trusted.
I’m not sure when that changed, but it has, at least for this year. I began writing my current WIP in early summer. With the long school holiday, our holiday away, the allotment bursting with life and craving a lot of attention, the WIP did suffer a bit. It is now autumn and I’m two thirds of the way through the manuscript. Already one of the ideas that has been simmering on that back-burner is begging to jump onto paper, but I will have to make it wait. It is tempting to write just a couple of chapters, let the characters begin to speak, see how the story might work. But I’m resisting the temptation until the current WIP is finished. Or should I resist? Perhaps I should just dip my toes in the story.
It has been a very odd year for me and I don’t think writing ‘out of season’ has helped. Now I feel the pressure (completely self-inflicted of course) to finish this WIP as soon as possible, so that autumn isn’t too far out of the door before I begin the next story.
Do the changing seasons affect anyone else’s writing habits, or am I the only odd one?
Protect Yourself
Earlier this year I suffered a major knockback – the book that was supposed to have been published in Spring 2013, with ARCS and cover ready by this summer was returned to me when a signed contract was cancelled abruptly after a takeover. From all the wonderful messages of support I received, I know that this has happened to many writers and that I am not alone.
In seconds, my glee, excitement and anticipation of the amazing year ahead was crushed by an overwhelming gloom and despondency that surprised and shocked me. I allowed myself to wallow in it for about a week. Of course I know that there are far worse things that could have happened, but, professionally, this felt like the worst. Even though it was not down to me but a business decision made by the not very far-sighted suits who took over a wonderful publishing house with an exceptional list and great authors, didn’t make it any easier.
Eventually, I did what I knew I had to do - I picked myself up, dusted myself down, opened a new file on my laptop and gave free rein to my imagination.
This year has felt much like being on choppy seas, but luckily I have a life jacket. When I first met my agent, she said, “Develop a thick skin – it will protect you,” and she was right. It’s very hard to protect yourself against professional disappointments, but I know that without a life-jacket it would be impossible. Being part of the SAS and getting to know other teen/YA writers who have become friends, I have discovered a support network that is incredible and I am very grateful for it.
So, yes, it is important to find ways to protect yourself as far as you can.
I’m at the Olympic Park today, watching the athletics, so forgive me if I am late responding to any comments.
Yes, I have one. I’m told that a lot. In a light-hearted question and answer session with a group of authors (The Edge) where the question was – Who is the most likely to have a body buried in the basement? – the majority vote was cast for, yes, you’ve guessed it. Me. I don’t happen to have a basement at home, and it’s probably just as well... But then I probably wouldn’t use my own basement should that kind of need arise...
I have written about the darker side of life even though my main audience are teenagers or young adults. I don’t spare them the dark themes, sensitive issues, or molly-coddle them in any way, but I do spare them any gratuitous gruesome details, extraneous graphic imagery, and from endings with no hope. The Long Weekend is pretty dark. All the teens and young adults who have read it have finished it with no problem, but the same isn’t true of some adults. A book reviewer very apologetically said she could not finish it – she was the mum of two kids.
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| Hell Wood |
My current work in progress is, once again, very dark. When I finish it I’ll put it in a drawer for a few months and then reread it because only by taking that step away from it can I judge if it’s any good. I like to work with a title, but that title can change by the end of the first chapter. It started as ‘Fly Away’. Now it has become Hell Wood, which feels so right that I’m hoping it will be the final title. The name is real – I didn’t have to make it up as it exists in the area the book is set in, although I didn’t know that when I set about writing the story. The research came after the book was halfway through – it sometimes works that way.
Here are a few more pictures of Hell Wood, just imagine it darker...
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| Scum Pond |
4 Comments on The Dark Side... Savita Kalhan, last added: 5/25/2012
What do you do while you’re waiting for your readers to get to you about your first draft (or second or third...), your agent to get back to you about your WIP, your publisher to get back to you about your submission?
Do you use the time to write blogs, do some promotion, catch up on admin, on friends, films and books? Or do you chew your nails to the quick, pace an indentation into the carpet, dig up every weed in the garden, clean everything you can lay your hands on, climb a mountain, cook three course gourmet meals...
And does the waiting become any easier the more books you have had published? Or is it just as hard to forget that you are waiting and get on with things.
I try to get on with things, sometimes I’m very successful – my allotment will be utterly without a single weed, I will have discovered some amazing recipes, and cooked them, and several ideas will be buzzing around for the next piece of work. But sometimes I can’t. Occasionally, despite my best efforts, I’ll have turned into a complete horror to be around. So thank you to my nearest and dearest for putting up with it all. I’m hoping more experienced Sassies will tell me not to worry and that the waiting gets so much easier that you’re almost blasé about it....
And now, with recent good news, the nature of the waiting has changed. It’s infinitely better. It’s a less pressured kind of waiting, and I’ll even be able to work while I’m waiting...
Why write if it's not to be read? I’ve been writing for a number of years, almost solely for teens, and so far I’ve had one book published. I’ve written several books, and I have ideas for several more. In my last blog I talked about my need to start on a new book each Autumn. It’s now January and yes, I am deep into my new story and loving the main character, although I’m not sure the main character loves me for what I’m putting her through! Regardless, I’m writing and I know I’ll continue writing until the book is finished when I’ll read it through and edit it, and agonise over it before sending it off to my agent, who will cast her critical eye on it and deliver her judgment, and if it’s a positive one it will get sent off to the publisher who will do the same etc, etc...
But this is just one aspect of being a writer – of intrinsic importance, of course, and you can’t call yourself a writer unless you are prepared to go through all of the above – there are other aspects that might be perilous to ignore.
To be a successful writer these days, several other hats should be donned once the writing has been done. The same is true even to be a moderately successful writer. There was a time when writers did not have to don any other hats – there were people who did that for them. These hats include  upping your profile, trying to get (hopefully rave, but no guarantees!) reviews – online and in the press, making sure everyone, including the right people know about them, doing signings, visiting schools, blogging about your new book, blogging about yourself, being active on twitter and facebook, getting interviewed, networking, courting bloggers and librarians, speaking at conferences, and finding as many platforms for yourself and your book as possible. (Even Margaret Atwood maintains an active Twitter profile)  Creating a bit of a buzz for your book is important. The books that find their way onto all the shortlists and often win prizes haven’t got there all by themselves, unless their authors have been extremely lucky. The writers have been doing all the above and more to ensure their book’s success.
Not as many people read my first novel, The Long Weekend, as I would have liked. There are so many factors that contributed to that. I’m putting my hand up and saying that one of those factors was my naivety as a newly published author. No one knew about my book and as I wasn’t shouting it from the rooftops or even holding it up for people to see, things stayed that way. I didn’t know about all the other hats I needed to wear if I wanted my book to reach its readers, I just assumed that others were donning them for me. Consequently my book was only in a few book shops and found by very few readers.
 Offending a vocal minority, or arguably even a hostile majority, in the areas of politics, religion and morality can result in your book finding itself on the banned list. Banned Books week, launched by the American Libraries Association, ALA, to celebrate the freedom to read and to highlight the dangers of book censorship, has just come to an end. When I read Anne Rooney’s piece, "Banned: The Hidden Censorship of Children’s Books", it all brought back memories of what it was like living in a society where 95% of published books were banned.
For most of us in the UK, it’s an alien concept. Yes, we know that in the distant past books have been banned here, but not in modern times. We’ve got used to the choice, knowing that if a book is out there, the librarian or bookseller only needs the ISBN number and, hey presto, the book will arrive in the library, or in the bookshop, or through your letterbox in a matter of days.
Imagine a place where there are no books, no fiction to speak of, no poetry, no comics, no magazines, unless they have been vetted and deemed suitable by the Ministry of Information. It’s a terrible vision, too awful to contemplate.
For several years I lived in a country where there were no public libraries to speak of and only one bookshop. It would be two or three years later before the second bookshop opened.
This was back in 1991. Most books were banned. You could pick up the work of a few lucky authors – but the choice was limited. I remember John Grisham being stocked, but I think the covers of his books were pretty uncontroversial. If you wanted to read a half-decent book you had to bring it in to the country yourself. And that was a tall order. You had to smuggle it in.
So, my once or twice yearly trip to the UK involved buying lots and lots of books, and when I went through a phase of reading fantasy epics, well, you can imagine the problems that that caused. The trilogy was out of favour. Several thick books in a series were common. Yes, it gave me headaches, and I hadn’t even got as far as thinking about how heavy my suitcases would end up, the excess baggage payment, or the sweaty-palmed dread as I walked towards customs at the other end.
I spent several years hiding books in the lining of my suitcases, folding them inside clothes and secreting them about my person, so having to wear the voluminous black abayas did have a use! It was no laughing matter. A few hundred pounds of books were hidden away in our bags, and so much more. To be caught red-handed meant the books would in all probability be confiscated. If you were lucky you would get some of them back. It really depended on the covers, the book title and the mood of the customs man. If he found some of your books and he wasn’t feeling magnanimous, they would be sent straight to the Ministry of Information, where they disappeared in a bureaucratic black-hole while you desperately applied for the books to be returned to you. To be caught meant being deprived of several months of reading and that was a horror that I didn’t want to contemplate. It was a situation that faced us each time we disembarked with our bags and headed towards customs.
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I sympathise madly. Someone suggested I should change something from third to first. I couldn't do it but I hope the opposite works for you!
Wishing you better times, Savita. Sometimes a mixture of small things attack the confidence, each almost easily brushed away, but theys it there present in your mind all the same. Besides, the demands of home & family don't stay constant either, so when things like that meet a complex Work In Progress, there's all sorts of unsettling, conflicting feelings. Wasn't there a post about Not Giving Up the Day Job here on this blog about a week ago? It made a lot of sense.
You could change your perspective. What job worth doing doesn't need constant reevaluation. Can you imagine a doctor or scientist who didn't constantly go over their methods, the way they do things? This book may or may not work but what you're doing is right. Try it like this. Give it that one more go. Then if you're still unhappy start something else and shelve it for a year. Then you can look at it with fresh eyes.
What Anne C said! And I'll be in London one day next week (think it's next week), all being well, so shall we meet for a gossipy, writerly coffee? I can push positive vibes at you :-)
Thanks for this post. Your experience of rewriting to find the right voice chimes with me. Take Anne's advice!
As Shakespeare said, 'Modest doubt is called the beacon of the wise.'
The Bard was right; doubt is the unfortunate friend of writers and philosophers. Perseverance is 75% of success. Good luck.
I went looking for David's quote and found this: "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." Bertrand Russell. YAY!
It's horrible, this doubting, isn't it, but it will pass. Impossible to believe when in the midst, but true nevertheless. Here's to that!
The comment I made a week ago is apposite here too:
http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=7780182174577095197&postID=1589578625247270941
Feeling for you here... I too got to the point where I considered that life might be better if I just stopped trying. But I never quite managed to stop! I suppose there's your answer?
Thank you all! I'm still working away at the WIP with the third person finally working. I may change my mind again on that when it's finished... Sticking the doubts where the sun don't shine for the moment, and hoping not too many of them escape.
Stroppy - Yes please! Only problem is that on Wednesday I get injected in the gammy leg for the second time, which means bed rest for four days, so I hope you're in town on Monday or Tuesday!
Anne - you're right about the constant reevaluation, but when it seems to be leading to the same conclusion, then it becomes a problem. However, I'm not allowing it to completely bog me down, just yet!
Joan - I'm going to write that Bertrand Russell quote in block capitals and stick it up in my study! Thank you.
Really glad you've stuck to this, Savita! Self-doubt is always the default setting for the gifted, but when it starts to get crippling, it can be a real destroyer of talent. But you have persevered, and your strength of character is shining through. And what Anne C said is right, of course. Finish the draft, give it another go, and be proud of yourself for an impressive achievement--not giving in to doubt, just as you haven't given in to the unfair hand you've been dealt recently. Fight on! xx
Jane - Thank you. I'm still fighting...just!
Good Luck with your writing xx
Sympathies, Savita. I'm pretty sure every good writer has doubts (except Patrick Ness), usually on a smaller scale than yours but you're not alone. Anne's advice is great - good luck with third person swapover and don't be afraid to start something new.
Damn! I'm in London on Thursday :-( Next time - and good luck with the leg xx
Stroppy - thanks, and definitely yes to next time you're in town!
Anonymous - please don't be anonymous so I can thank you for your kind wishes.