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It’s funny - when I was packing up our 20,000 books and all of the
associated detritus that collected along with them over the past five
years, I swore that had to be the worst part of the move. Before that,
when I was pulling down pink plywood, plastering over holes, sheet rocking
and painting, I pretty much figured that was the worst part. It should
surprise no one then, given my track record, that the worst part is the
interminable unboxing and reshelving of books. Adding to the
unpleasantness is the fact that we’ve decided to rationalize (that’s a
euphemism for make some vague sense out of) our internet cataloging
system. This brings me, somewhat obliquely, to my first bits of advice:

1 - Make sure your system of arranging books that you sell online makes
sense and is scalable (not in the arranging them in the form of a ziggurat
sense, but in the functions well under large numbers sense) ; it’s going
to be a pain to fix five years down the line

(you’ll notice that much of this “advice” is of the “I climbed a water
tower and fell off and now travel high schools telling kids not to climb
water towers” variety).

2 - Don’t put a box of books in your basement unless you’re pretty sure
you want to carry them back upstairs, load them into a truck and move them
across town. Also, don’t put 200 of these in your basement.

3 - Be organized in your move - stack sections together and in the order
you’d like to use them. I actually thought of this one beforehand, but
I’m constitutionally incapable of this level of organization - if you can
do it though, your present self will owe your past self a debt of
gratitude (as a friend of mine likes to say).

All of which adds up to the fact, some may say obvious fact, that moving
something as heavy as a used bookstore should not be done without the best
of reasons. Ours were complicated - rising rents, static foot traffic
(static at a bad level - the U.S. obsession with growth has made static a
bad word when it could be lovely. Why does no one ever say statically
good?), and a commercial district that has begun to favor restaurants.
Now, I love restaurants as much as the next guy who can’t afford to go to
them very often, but a certain percentage of restaurants in a commercial
district is pretty much a death knell for traditional retail. The hours
are just too different for them to work together - it’s possible all those
mom and pop shops should just be open from 5 PM - 12 PM, who knows. I’ve
worked in too many restaurants though - those hours will really mess with
your head.

So with rents and changing dynamics, it was time to go - luckily we
actually learned a few things since our first opening.

Don’t settle for two many “this should be ok”s when choosing a space. If
you leave yourself enough time to look, you should be able to find the
right space (this goes for opening the first time as well, of course).
Our first shop was a good size but had too many strangely shaped spaces
and quirks that we were paying for - we also were about 200 feet from
where we needed to be and when those pedantic jackasses say that the three
most important concerns in retail are location, location, location,
they’re not JUST being annoying.

Try not to cut too many corners - this can be difficult when working on a
shoestring budget, but try to do things properly or not do them at all.
Half-assing a few things here and there (e.g. buying an area rug to
disguise an ugly floor instead of replacing the floor) is appropriate,
but, at least for me, these half measures get a grip on you after a while
and start being too obvious - eventually the enterprise takes on the dull
sheen of half-assedness. If you think the color of your walls is ok,
paint them the color you really want, you won’t regret it (joyfully, the
pink walls at our new store left me no half option on this one).

And oh yeah, lift with your legs.

Here’s a few pictures as order begins to emerge from the chaos:

Aisle one of internet books in the basement. We enlisted the help of
local street urchins to shelve the books.

Aisle 2. Anyone looking to purchase 500 slightly used boxes?

Street urchins are also useful for book cataloging.

Not so much for the hauling of heavy boxes as my brother apparently notices.

This last is from our moving fundraiser. This, which I must admit I was
skeptical about, turned out great. We had a bunch of silent auctions,
collected donated items from local friendly businesses (and gave them
great advertising - or tried), local urchins ran a hot dog cart, and we
had a keg of beer and a band (pictured - if you have kids at your party,
get a guy with a pink suit, they went nuts). All of our intensive studies
show that customers purchase at least 30% more when drinking.

– Pazzo Books 4268 Washington St. Roslindale, MA 02131 pazzobooks.com 617-323-2919

Next weekend Scott Westerfeld and yours truly will be guests of honour at the 2008 High Voltage ConFusion science fiction convention. It’s our very first time being guests of honour and we are stoked. TOTALLY stoked. In fact I’m so very stoked I’m thinking of celebrating with the purchase of a new dress. Surely, being guest of honour requires new clothes, right? I gotta look pretty, don’t I? If you have an opinion on this Very Important Matter please to express it in the poll to your right.

I’m thinking this one, though with black gloves not white:

Vivienne Westwood’s Watteau ball gown

Here’s Scott and mine’s schedule. Because we are joint guests of honour we are doing everything together:

FRIDAY 18 JANUARY:

1900 Den 1 Interview: Author GoHs by John Scalzi
Tee hee! Mr Scalzi will ask us questions and we will plead the fifth and get away with it because we know where he buried the bodies. I suspect zombies will be mentioned.

2000 Salon FGH Opening Ceremonies
We will say a few words but there won’t be an actual speech speech. Some of my words will be “quokka”, “zombie”, and “oscillate”, or maybe not. Depends.

2100 Salon FGH Dessert Reception
Where we eat dessert and natter with folks what want to natter.

2200 Den 1 Originality is Overrated
There’s this idea that writers work entirely alone and create their work out of whole cloth. That’s rubbish. If a work were wholly original no one would be able to read it. All writers are influenced by those who came before them. Most writers talk to other writers. Many are in writers’ groups and even those that aren’t frequently read and comment on each other’s work. Let’s talk about the influence and community that writers share. Even when they don’t know each other. Justine Larbalestier, Scott Westerfeld (M), Patrick Nielsen Hayden, John Scalzi, Patrick Rothfuss and Doselle Young.

I confess that I wrote this description on account of it’s something that drives me crazy and I’m looking forward to talking about it with such esteemed and smart companions. Especially Doselle. Everything is better if Doselle is involved.

SATURDAY 19 JANUARY:

1100 Den 1 Fantastic Sports
Organized sports are a vital part almost every culture on the globe. But sf and fantasy novels tend to overlook this key aspect of world-building. We examine what sports are and what they tell us about a culture, and dig up some good examples in sf and fantasy. Justine Larbalestier (M), Scott Westerfeld, Steve Ainsworth, Dave Klecha and Catherine Shaffer.

Mmmm . . . sport. If I weren’t moderator I would just spend the session teaching USians cricket.

1300 Salon G Juvenilia
Writers dust off the storage trunks, turn off the shame meter, and read from their 5th- through 12th-grade works of unalloyed proto-genius. A great way for young writers in the audience to feel much better about their own efforts. Justine Larbalestier (M), Scott Westerfeld, Merrie Haskell, K. Tempest Bradford and Marcy Italiano.

I can’t tell you how disappointed I am that Scalzi is not on this panel. Laughing at his early writing efforts was the whole reason I agreed to go to ConFusion!

1400 Den 1 SF Is Not Dead
More sf is written and consumed these days than every before, in the form of manga, video games, rpgs, and YA lit. Yet our beloved field constantly bemoans its own demise, while ignoring those 100,000 crazy kids down the road at Comicon. How do we connect these two worlds of sf? Justine Larbalestier, Scott Westerfeld (M), Anne Harris, Jim Frenkel and Peter Halasz.

Because me and Scott are sick to death of hearing the folks in the old sf people’s home whingeing about the death of sf. It ain’t dead! It’s doing just fine, thanks.

1500 Den 1 Golden Age of Young Adult Lit
Some argue that the YA books being published now are some of the best the field has ever seen. There are more of them, the quality is better, and the authors are being paid more. Is now the Golden Age of Young Adult Literature? And if so what does that mean for the next generation of readers? Justine Larbalestier (M), Scott Westerfeld, Steve Climer, Suzanne Church and Peter Halasz.

I think it is. I also think it’s just going to get better and better and better.

1700 All-Author Autographing Session
If you have books you want strange author types to scribble on here’s your chance.

2100 Concierge Literary Beer
The only thing we’re doing that you have to sign up for. It’ll be me and Scott sitting around with a smallish group of interested folks and answering their questions while we all drink beer (or water or whatever you wish to drink. I wish to drink Krug—I hope the ConCom is on top of that!).

SUNDAY 20 JANUARY:

1100 Salon H Gluten-Free Fantasy
Most medieval cultures didn’t have chainmail, swords, horses, or wheat. Yet the overwhelming majority of medieval cultures in fantasy do. What do we stand to gain by breaking the bonds of Europe on our collective imagination? And what’s so scary about bolas, sled-dogs, and rice? Justine Larbalestier, Scott Westerfeld, John Scalzi, Karl Schroeder, Jim Frenkel.

This panel is also something me and Scott came up with. It has a backstory. Way back in the dark ages we were on a panel together about fantasy where we panelists suggested that there were other settings for high fantasy other than mediaeval Europe. Scott went as far as to say that wheat is not essential to high fantasy.

The audience turned on him. “We LOVE wheat!” they proclaimed. “We hate fantasy that isn’t set in mediaevel Europe. We hate wanky literary fantasy. In fact, we hate you writers on the panel who are trying to take away our wheat!”

Scalzi was in the audience along with the wonderful Karen Meisner and they both say it was one of the most extraordinary things they have ever seen. Karen even sent Scott a Canadian license plate wth a beautiful picture of wheat on it. Scott still contends that we were caught in the wave of an Atkin’s diet backlash.

Here’s the con’s full schedule.

Hope to see some of you there! I mean if this wussy Aussie girl can brave the dead of winter in Detroit. Surely some of you can?