Troll I: “My nose is so big sometimes I trip on it.”

Troll II: “It’s honorable to have a huge nose, sir.  It means you’re above average with the smelling.”

Troll I: “That’s true.  And, right now I’m smelling fairy with a little bit of aluminum.”

Troll II: “Oh I love fairy.  Lead the way.”

Troll: I “There’s something else, too.  Something I can’t quite identify.  I’ve never smelled anything like it before.”

Troll II: “Great!  A surprise for dessert.”

Eep thought to Gleep’s brain, “She sure has a good set of lungs”

“The moment she felt threatened, she felt increasingly more strong and powerful physically.  My medicomonmeter indicated this immediately,” Gleep thought to Eep’s brain.

The scream continued. “Are we frightening to look upon?” Eep thought to Gleep’s brain.

“I did not straighten my glasses or wash my face this morning.  Admittedly, I was not at my best,” Gleep responded to Eep’s brain.”

“And my belt was crooked. That might be it.” Eep said.  ”Let’s improve our appearance to see if that will help.”

“Even so, I think we should wait until the screaming ceases before going back over there,” Gleep said.

The screaming stopped seven minutes later.  Eep and Gleep stood like soldiers waiting for orders.  The screamer peeked out from under the sheet of aluminum.

“Hey!  You!” she shouted.  ”What are you doing?”

“We are standing.”

They measured the stranger sleeping under the sheet of aluminum to be three inches long.”

Gleep put his measuring tape back into his tool belt, “This being is a female.”

“She is very long,” Eep said seriously.

Eep took out his high-tech medical equipment. He proceeded to scan and examine the subject one centimeter from her  to determine what, if anything, was wrong with her.  The spectrometer whirred loudly.

“She is breathing,” Eep said, “She is full of light.”

Gleep took out his high-powered mobile microscope and began to study the black ground where they stood.

“I wonder if we can keep the aluminum,” said Eep as he worked.

“Her eyelids are fluttering,”said Gleep. “She is waking up.”

When the girl woke up, she looked at Eep and Gleep and then opened her mouth wide and screamed at the top of her lungs.

Her teeth transformed from pretty white regular human-like teeth into pointy triangles.  It frightened Eep and Gleep.  They used their jet packs to fly to another black hill a short distance away.  The scream continued from under the square piece of aluminum.

(To be continued…)

The land outside the spaceship was very different from Eep and Gleep’s home planet, Cogna. Using their jet packs to fly, they were able to make a wide 500 mile sweep in a matter of minutes.

“I enjoy flying fast,” Eep thought to Gleep’s brain.  ”It makes me very happy.”

“Look down,” Gleep thought to Eep’s brain and peered through his Super-Scope. He saw a twinkle on the black barren landscape. He wondered if it was the source of the twinkle they had spotted earlier. Both Eep and Gleep slowed their jet packs and moved closer to the shiny spot.

“My Mini-Computer indicates we have located aluminum,” said Gleep.

“Aluminum?” Eep asked.  ”This is amazing.  Alumina is our most valued element.”

“It is Atomic Number 13 on the Periodic Table of Elements and that is why 13  is my favorite number,” said Gleep.

“Alum has been known to stop bleeding,” said Eep. “I packed some in our first aide kit.

The aliens landed on the black surface next to, what seemed to them to be a, king-sized sheet of aluminum, but really it was only the size of a soda cracker to the creatures on this planet.

They took out their high-tech instruments, calculated weights, measurements, and discovered that hidden under the valued aluminum was a life-form…   (to be continued)

A shiny red spaceship lands in the kingdom.  

The aliens behind the spaceship do not know this, but they are the size of ladybugs.  They think they are large and mighty. Maybe it’s because they are high-tech aliens.  The technology makes them feel big.

Eep:  This is an unusual place. Surprisingly, I think  you have landed the spaceship on a plant.  I would not believe it, but my high-tech scope indicates it is a life-form filled with chloroplasts.

Gleep:   And these chloroplasts, of course, are filled with chlorophyll.  It is a plant!  A mighty plant.  What inhabits this land?

Eep and Gleep ponder that question for exactly 7 minutes, and then they confer for a few minutes more. Gleep defined the word “few” to be two.  

The aliens wearing white toolbelts with “Scientific Method” printed on them, wonder where to begin exploring.  Gathering and studying information is what they do.

 A twinkle is spotted by Eep.  Eep and Gleep run to the window of their ship.  

Eep says, “I see black hills.”

” I think we should use our jet packs to fly to the hills and have a look around.”  Gleep had his serious look on his face.  ”It’s odd we saw a twinkle.”

To be continued…

Flowers in the kingdom are wilting…This is especially sad because fairies live in the flowers. The soft petals protect the tiny beings from the harshness of the world. And, believe me, the world is harsh because witches live in the land. They live in dark castles built on tall hills. Witches are selfish and rude. They like to pinch, burp, and wiggle their butts.

As I have mentioned in a previous post, I am both a fairy and a witch.  It’s tough.  I’m also a regular.  A regular is someone who lives in the Kingdom and is average, ordinary, and boring.  It’s comfortable to be that way, but it has the tendency to make others yawn.

Right now I’m a fairy.  Both fairies and witches are passionate if you know what I mean.  Anyway we fairies can’t be bothered with that when the flowers are dying.

It is ordinary people killing the flowers, but why?

The Queen: “I think life, at times, is very, very tough for the peasants.  Relationships can be difficult.  They hurt.”  She looks down from her tower. It is a beautiful land: there are rollings hills, crops of wheat and corn, fields of sunflowers, and little houses. She ponders on this trouble the peasants have  with pain.  She turns to the king and says:

“That’s it! Books must be written and read to teach and entertain the peasants. We need to issue a Royal Proclamation for this is a matter of great importance.”

The king responds in his sleepy manner, “The elves have been storytelling verbally for a very long time.  We’ll have them write their stories down.”

“Yes, that’s a good beginning.  They can make the books and deliver them too.”  The queen smiled.  ”I think we’re on to something here. There’s nothing more powerful than imagination.”

And so the guy standing by the well with the pierced eyebrow, and baritone voice was ordered to ride into the kingdom to spread this Royal Proclamation.

He sang the message and it was well received.

” Read!!! It’s difficult in these times to find time to relax, to get the dirt out from under your fingernails, and to free your minds from pain. So at the end of the day, sit around the fire and read.  So it is ordered…”

I’m in transition.  I’m a witch turning into a fairy;  the kind of fairy that laughs and makes others laugh. The poem below is me as a lonely child wishing to be a fairy.

If I were a Fairy 

If I were a fairy, I would be beautiful, smart, and sassy.

And I probably wouldn’t have to have a nap.

If I were a fairy, I would use my wand to sprinkle sparkly stuff mixed with happiness everywhere.

If I were a fairy, every bad thought would be caught in my magic fairy web and I would blow out a warm happy thought instead.

I would be twinkling sweetness you might say, I could save the world that way.

If I were a fairy, I would breathe in the sweet smells of flowers.

And, I would laugh out loud while swimming with the wind; I would be wild and free.

If I were a fairy, I would wear lots of jewelry; I would have pretty wings and pretty things.  I could be beautiful silly me.

At night I would snuggle in a cloud and peek out at the stars

Moonbeams would glow and soften the earth while I had sweet dreams

And I would twinkle

If I were a fairy, I would watch the sun rise at the tippy top of a very high tree and then I would dance.  I would drink the morning dew and sing with my heart.

If I were a fairy, I could do anything.  I could even fart.

I am home. Home is different because our kitty is gone.  He never did make much noise, even so the house seems so much more quiet…

My husband bought me a very nice Coach Purse for Valentine’s Day.  The fairy wings nearly sprouted full-out on me.

I’m one of those passionate beings.  Lot’s of emotion all tangled up inside me.  That’s why I write. I write to express the feelings; sometimes through characters. Too bad there isn’t a little punctuation fairy, though. I envision one wandering around my stories/writings collecting extra commas and putting them where they are needed.  I can imagine a fairy kick the wrong tense outta there and put the right tense in. That would be so cool. I guess that’s what editor’s do.

As I drove home from my rescue mission, I thought about Jesus being called “The good shepherd.”  There are people in our society that need a shepherd for sure.  They have slipped through the cracks.  The system has failed them.  Their families feel helpless and sorrowful.   The man on the sidewalk with a can…  He is dirty, smelly, his teeth are bad, and he does not think clearly.  Whether or not he deserves it, give to him because he is a human being and he might be my brother.

I am amazed at my brother’s ability to spin his head around.

If I were a mouth, I would be stretched wide open.  All my teeth would be showing and there would be a loud sound whooshing out of me.

My broomstick is full of salt and muddy snow.  It’s disgusting.  It is -17 and I have to wear my warm stuff for sure.

I was especially witchy today and I’m sorry about it I really am.  I guess it was frustrating thinking how to help my brother who is now out of a deep dark dungeon without anywhere to go.  He has been cursed with a plague upon his brain.  He does not see that it is there, but it is obvious to all that know him well.

Right now I am green, have a pointy nose and sharp chin; it’s not pretty.  I wish to be very powerful.  I wish to flatten a mountain, shrivel skin, or cause profuse drooling on someone.  When we walked before the judge who sat upon the high thrown with his mighty attitude and tight muscles around his mouth, I needed to inflict on him  those calamities and wanted also to take all cookies he might have in his possession away. However, the only power I have is a cold stare and curt responses. I’m weak, little and pathetic.

My brother’s curse is very powerful.  I do not know how to reach him.

I hate to admit this, but my witchy spirit flew from my body and hit my sisters.  I’ll have to make it up to them somehow.  They shook all over from the impact.

Tomorrow is another day.  maybe I can put my broom away and sprout fairy wings.

Today someone was nasty to me.  She caught me unawares sending a painful nasty missile at my unprotected heart. I was stunned. I stood in front of her desk trying to blink my perplexity away, my brain battling at the knot of confusion. There I was wearing my winter boots and pink sweater thinking Do I have a sign on me somewhere that says “She’s a creep”?  She continued talking, as she did,  I could swear her eyes moved closer together, her skin took on a yellowish green color and her nose hairs pushed out her nostrils.

I don’t want to say where this took place. Just know it was a nice place. Pretend it was a bubble gum factory.  Let’s say I’m used to going to the bubble gum factory and hanging out with the people that work there.  I mistakenly thought I had good relationships with them because we all like bubble gum and all the many flavors.  The lady behind the big desk continued to talk.  Her mouth opening and closing.  I’m told “we’re tired of you asking about the flavor of the gum we’re chewing. You can get that information off our website.”  As her face changed color, I heard the truth.  I don’t even know if she knew she was speaking it. “We have a hard time with your questions.  We don’t like to work.  We don’t like to open our mouths and say words.  We want you to stop coming to the bubble gum factory so we can relax unless you can blow a big, big bubble; a bubble that would benefit us.  If you can’t do that, I’m going to kick you with my pointy shoes.  I looked at her feet.  She was wearing black pointy shoes.

I left.  Did she know my brother was in a dark damp dungeon with spiders because he was magically touched in the brain?  No.  Did she know I would be traveling a long distance tomorrow to attend his hearing?  Did she know my brother would probably get out of this dungeon only to be thrown out into the cold, cold elements without a place to live? No.

I’m going to have a cookie.

I enjoy cookies.  Who doesn’t?  I don’t think I’ve ever met a person that dislikes a cookie. That’s why I think of it metaphorically.  The “cookie” is all that is good and wholesome in the world.  It is sweetness and love.  After all, we give Santa cookies.  Girl Scouts sell cookies.  “Cookie” Monsters are everywhere.  I am one such monster and proud of it.