It has been several months since I have written anything in this blog.  Life sometimes gets in the way.  But now I'm back ready to start a new adventure...an adventure of the soul. 

A week ago, I began reading a book by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell titled A Thousand Names for Joy, in which Ms. Katie takes Stephen Mitchell’s English interpretation of the contents of the Tao Te Ching and speaks to them in her own words and her own experiences in order to help explain what she believes were the author’s intentions. The Tao Te Ching is a collection of verses written by Lao-tzu during the 5th century B.C. The title loosely translated means, The Book of the Way. It is theorized that Lao-tzu was the archive keeper in a small kingdom of what is now known as China. Whether this was his true profession or not cannot be verified over so many centuries, but no matter what his profession, what I know in my heart, is that he (or she) was an extremely wise person. Many believe (as do I) that The Tao Te Ching is one of the great wonders of the world.

After reading the first chapter of A Thousand Names for Joy, I sat and meditated on what I had read, which is my usual practice. In this particular meditation I was guided to begin a new spiritual practice in the New Year. I will read the Tao interpretation by Stephen Mitchell and listen to a recording I also possess of Wayne Dyer’s interpretation and explanation of the Tao and then read Byron Katie’s interpretation. I will study and meditate on one verse each week and will then write a blog each Monday (although in my flexibility I won’t hold myself to a strict schedule) in order to describe how each verse pertains to me. I am not writing this blog because I want others to read it. Those who do read it will come to it because they are curious or because their own spiritual guides have brought them here. Instead this is an exercise in spiritual growth for me; a way to channel my thoughts and actions throughout the week in order to help me change or not change, to make me think and analyze whether I agree or not with the Tao and to examine what I may be resisting and why, or what may resonate with me and why.  So on and so on, or as the King of Siam said in movie, The King & I, “etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.”

If by chance a reader feels so inclined, I would love for them to share their thoughts, comments, concerns, etcetera, with me as your agreement or dissention is a great way for me to expand my own perceptions of this illusion we call life. So today I will begin my reading of Verse 1 and start the meditation and growth process. I will see you next week as I expound upon my personal experience with the Tao. With excited anticipation I say to you, let the journey begin………….

     Today I continue my journal on my experience at the Thich Nhat Hanh retreat in Estes Park, CO in August.  I begin with my usual gratitude list.
     I am grateful for Thich Nhat Hanh, for a beautiful day in Colorado, for the sleep this a.m., for the nourishing food, for beautiful people.  For these and all my blessings thank you Creator.
     Today is day 2 of the retreat and I've gotten off to an interesting start.  First I had trouble getting to sleep last night but I didn't allow myself to be stressed.  Everything is always fine just the way it is.  Then my roommate woke me at 5:30 a.m. because we'd overslept.  Well there was no way I was going to be able to get dressed and be at the sitting meditation in fifteen minutes so I rolled over and went back to sleep.  1 hour later, I dressed and went to breakfast.  I thought I was doing pretty good on my mindfulness eating until the coffee overflowed my cup and I spilled it everywhere.  Ah such is life :)  But the day is improving.  I'm sitting out in the sun looking at beautiful Longs Peak.  Gorgeous!!!  If there is no God I wonder who dreamed up these mountains. 
     One of the things waking up late did for me is remind me that I'm a metaphysicist, a believer in New Thought, not a Buddhist.  I don't have to get up early...I'm pausing because the teens are on a walking meditation and have paused behind me to look at the magnificent mountains...An way, back to my new thought...I believe that life doesn't have to be hard if you just go with the flow.  I'm not a morning person so getting up at 5 a.m. is grueling for me.  But I CHOOSE to get up because I love the energy of being in a room full of like-minded people who are meditating.  But then, if the alarm doesn't go off, who am I to get upset because I didn't meditate in a room full of people.  I can meditate anytime.  Which I plan to do right now...Back in a few minutes....
     Now I am in the Assembly Hall.  Like me, many people came early to get a good seat.  Of course the only really good seats are right up front where you have to sit on pillows.  Not for me.  I'll come back to my writing soon since they have started the singing.
     Teachings of Thay:
      Every home should have a bell to ring occasionally and when the bell rings everyone should stop, cease talking and breathe in and out 3 times.  In the 21st century every home should have a meditation hall with a bell, cushions & a pot of flowers.  Call it The Breathing Room:  it is the territory of the Buddha.
      Pebble Meditation (the 4 pebbles): 
      Breathing In I see myself as a flower
      Breathing out I feel free
      Breathing In I see myself as a mountain
      Breathing out I feel solid
      Breathing in I see myself as water
      Breathing out I feel myself reflecting what is true, what is real
      Breathing in I see myself as space
      Breathing out I feel freedom
Thay took a drink and said "Yesterday it was a cloud, today it is my tea."
      Sidebar:  While I was eating I would set my fork or spoon on the tray and wait while I chewed.  Crazily at first my hand kept twitching as if it wanted to touch the fork.
       Back to the teachings:
       Meditators can see many things that others can not see:  They can see the seed of corn in the tall stalk of corn.&nbs

     Today's blog is a continuation of my experience at the Thich Nhat Hanh retreat at the YMCA camp in Estes Park, CO from August 19th - 24th, 2011.  The following is from Saturday, August 20th, Day 2 of the incredible retreat as I wrote about my experiences in my personal journal.  At the start of all my journal entries I write 5 items that make me grateful.  So I will begin with my gratitude list that day. 
     I am grateful for a wonderful night's sleep, for a new friendship, for the clear, awesome mountain air, for all these peaceful people, for love in my heart.  For these and all my spectacular bounty I thank you Creator. 
     I had a wonderful night's sleep, early morning rise and meditation, then yoga.  Now I head to breakfast and "COFFEE."  I'm not used to this early morning stuff but hey, it's good for me.  Without my Internet I didn't stay up so late so I received plenty of sleep.
     It's interesting how I get this sense of Catholicism in the Zen practice.  I wonder if this is how the early Christians practiced and the dogma just slowly got out of hand with the church's power and greed.  I have to admit I'm not overly fond of the ceremony side of all this but then I've never been a big "ceremony" type person.  I didn't even go to my 3 college graduations because I dislike ceremony.  I must admit that I do love the silence though.  I'm off now to mindfully eat.  More later.
      Here's a mind dump from Thay's talk.  No being and being - Suffering & Happiness - Father, Son & Holy Spirit is the same as Buddha, Dharma, & Sangha, and the same as Body, Mind, & Environment.  Here's an exercise Thay stepped us through:  Breath In - Breath Out, Follow Your breath In & Out, Be mindful of your body while breathing in and out, Touch the sorrow inside you, Bring yourself to Joy, Bring yourself to Happiness.  (I'm missing one step: oh well, I'll get it later).
      Observations during walking meditation with Thay.  I wished that my husband, Gary, were there with me.  I felt the sadness that he was not here.  I felt the gratitude to him for if I had not met and married him I would probably not be at a Buddhist retreat.  Not that he was Buddhist but he did open my perspective to eastern spirituality.  I loved being in the middle of a group of people who are mindfully walking.  The nonconformist in me had to step outside the crowd for awhile and follow my own path.  Following Thay felt uncomfortable from this recovering Catholic.  I don't follow any One person as I am eclectic in my spiritual pursuits.  There are lots of people taking pictures.  I have to wonder:  If Jesus were alive today would lots of people be taking his picture? 
      When Thay stopped, sat on the ground and mindfully meditated with the children I got the sense of what it must have felt like when all the people came to listen to Jesus.  Thay certainly has touched the Buddha (Christ Spirit) within him.  After the thought crossed my mind I became uncomfortable because he is a human like ALL the rest of us.  He's just better practiced at touching the Universal Spirit inside him.  I watched how the other monks & nuns protect Thay and it reminded me of what I have read about the disciples protecting Jesus.  Those humans who have touched the Christ/Buddha Spirit so deeply are vulnerable to those who would take advantage of them. 
      I am sitting in a wonderful moment as I watch this extremely fat chipmunk on the patio below my room's balcony.  I hope it doesn't starve this winter when the tourists are gone because obviously it has become a junk food junky.  Oh wait, there are tourists here all yea

     I spent the last 5 days in the Rocky Mountains at the YMCA camp in Estes Park, CO.  I was attending a Mindfullness Retreat presented by the buddhist monasteries of Thich Nhat Hahn.  It was an incredible experience for me and I would like to share all of it with you. I wrote nonstop in my journal those 5 days and I will regurgitate each day's information in a journal entry every week over the next several weeks so that I can savor the information for awhile.  In this blog I will present the teachings of Thay (as his monks and nuns call him) from my perspective (since it's the only one I have first hand) then I'll give you my own commentary of what is going on, mostly based from my own beliefs as a non-buddhist.  I think Buddhism is an incredible practice and I am going to "steal shamelessly" from it.  But I also do not have a great understanding of it and since this retreat was my second exposure to Buddhism (my first being to sit with a Zen Buddhist groups for a couple of months), please take anything I say as it is meant to be...my experience as a non-buddhist having a buddhist experience.  So let's begin.
   August 19, 2011:    I am up at the Rocky Mountain YMCA in Estes Park @ the Thich Nhat Hahn retreat.  I was feeling that I wasn't going to be able to decompress and not use all my electronic equipment but now that I'm here I think maybe I can.  I want to take advantage of this wonderful place, these incredibly spiritual people and the peacefulness that's in my heart.  The setting here in Estes Park is incredible.  I can see Longs Peak from everywhere, even my room.  I'm sharing a room with a friend I met while working for the military in El Paso last summer.  I don't know her well but she seems very nice and I believe we will both honor the space needed to be here these next few days.  I want to dig deep into my soul and feel the presence of the Universe inside of me for the whole 5 days. 
     There are 2 elk on the hillside having their dinner.  Thank you God for this spectacular view.  There's a wagon (horse drawn) heading down the road.  Actually the closer the animals get the more I'm not sure if they are elk or deer.  It doesn't really matter, they sure are beautiful.  Thank you Source for an incredible life.  I am so truly blessed.  The most important thing for me right now is to stay mindful and enjoy the moments of these next 5 days and absorb the energy of this spectacular event.  Life is almost too good for words.  I love living in peace and harmony and love and want to have love in my heart forever and ever.  Amen.  Aho.  Thank You Jesus. 
      Dinner is in silence and while we eat we are asked to think mindfully of every bite we take.  We will continue silence after the talk this evening until after lunch tomorrow.  They call it Noble Silence.  I like that (smile).
     Tonights opening orientation was very interesting and beautiful. Thay(TI) as they call Thich Nhat Hahn is a very gentle, quiet man,  His message was about the 3 energies we need to work with in order to find the kingdom of heaven within.  Mindfulness , concentration & insight.  These, he says, are the Holy Spirit.  I resonated with that and I will spend time over the next few days as I'm here at the retreat thinking about these 3 energies.  The mindfullness I understand, the concentration for me will probably take a little more practice especially if I'm getting bored.  The insight I would think comes from the mindfullness and the concentration.  All is well in this awesome world of mindfullness. 
     Sangha is a new word.  It means the group (like a church) or this group of people at this retreat.  Too Cool!  I'm learning all kinds of cool things about Bu

I know I haven't set foot on this terrain in awhile.  But today, from a newsletter I receive on honing my writing skill I was asked to write about something that took my breath away.  I thought I would share it with you.  Hope you enjoy.

Did you know there are no historical facts to link Saint Valentine to romantic love, especially on February 14th? If one is to step down the path backwards to find where this love holiday originated one would find that the three Saint Valentines that are linked to the February 14th date were martyrs and had no significant behavior that would also link them to the hearts, flowers and cupids we see today. 

There have been several fantastic legends which may have started all this hullabaloo.  One such is where a Valentine (and it's not sure which one) defied the Roman emperor and performed marriage ceremonies even though it had been decreed in the law that young men could not be married because they were needed on the battlefield.  Then there is a legend that one of the Valentines, on the night before his execution, wrote a love letter to a young girl.  None of these legends have any basis in historical facts.  They are pure works of fiction.  And the best known link to the present day Valentine Day is another work of fiction.  Chaucer's 14th century work of fiction titled, Parlement of Foules,  is a poem written in honor of the first anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England and Anne of Bohemia where the great poet wrote:

For this was on seynt Volantynys day

Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.

Translated to modern English this means: "For this was Saint Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate."

Oddly enough the belief among historians is that the Saint Valentine's Day Chaucer referred to was actually on May 2nd, the saint's day of another bishop named Valentine orinigally of Genoa.

Fiction, fiction, how powerful is fiction.  As seen here in this highly celebrated holiday, writing fiction can create new worlds.  It can change the world (just listen to every politician).  And it can destroy old worlds (as did Hitler in his fiction about saving the Aryan race).

Why am I writing about fiction?  Because I love fiction.  I've been creating fiction my entire life.  From the imaginary friend my mother said I used to talk to out on the swing in the backyard, to the pretend family I used to imagine I belonged to, complete with a multimillionaire father and fifteen brothers and sisters, to my more recent dabbles with creating the great American novel, my life has been steeped with fiction.  So today I not only celebrate a day of love, filled with cupids, hearts, candy, flowers and romantic dinners but also as one of the birthdates of fiction. 

Happy Saint Valentine's Day to you all!

Even a week after the SCBWI winter conference I'm still psyched about the inspirations I received.  As if I have a jet pack strapped to my back, I have not stopped writing.  Though I've heard or read almost every idea that was spoken last week many times before, the morsels of information that have sunk into my brain have catapulted me to a new level of writing.  So much so that I pulled Kiva and the Stone Nation back off the shelf and revamped her first few chapters.  I want to give this new round of literary agents the very best product I have to offer.  I even rejoined the SCBWI critique group in Naples to receive timely feedback on my work.  Yesterday I provided them with the revised first chapter of Kiva and they loved it.

I believe I have some strong ammunition to lob at the publishing world and in the next few days I will e-mail 5 more agents on my list whom I believe might fall in love with Kiva.  Keep your fingers crossed.

On another note, I just returned from a wonderful stroll along the beach at low tide.  I realized this morning that I plan my entire day of writing around low tides, sunsets and swim schedules.  Can you tell I live in Florida? 

So here's the revised Chapter 1 of Kiva and the Stone Nation.  Hope you enjoy! 

CHAPTER 1

If I had met Scout the year before, when forests still harbored a red caped girl and a devious wolf. In the time when munchkins and elves were still heroes and helpers, not childhood fantasies, I would have foreseen what was about to happen. For with Scout's wisdom I could have leapt beyond the world of the definite, the absolute, and the hard and fast. I could have moved into that place between the real and the fantastic. That place where premonitions are possible. And not just possible, but everyday occurrences.

But I had not yet met Scout. At least not that I remembered. And until that time when her presence was made known to me, l was lost. Lost in a fog of unknowing. A dark cloud of uncertainty. For a great shadow had surrounded my spirit and had muddled every thought in my brain. Blinding me to the mysterious message delivered to me that first day.

It was the day I graduated from elementary school. A day hailed as a rite of passage into a more adult world. A more logical world. And I was proud to be standing on that cliff of sensibility, for practicality flowed through my veins. At least from my father's side anyway. So how could I have grasped what was about to happen. It was illogical.

But logical or not, it occurred. Started right there on the playground. Right in the middle of the big city. Right in front of my teacher, who could not have predicted it either. Nor my classmates. But Hotta could have foreseen it. And most likely did. I would not be surprised if she dreamed the whole incident the night before it happened. With vivid colors, symbolism and metaphors dancing in her slumbering head. And she would have felt how humiliated I was, splayed against the dirt in front of my entire class, my elbows and knees skinned and bleeding. Hotta would have known my horror and embarrassment. Like she did with the other incident. The one at the beginning of the school year. When the merciless teasing had begun and the fanciful beliefs had vanished.

My lungs grasped at the tiny sliver of breath keeping me from passing out. As gravel slid down the back of my throat my teeth crunched on bits of stone and grit. I raised my body off the ground. My kneecaps throbbed. At least the other incident had not physically hurt.

A low growl-like voice whispered, "Are you okay, Kiva?"

I fought to focus on the speaker but could not uncross my eyes. The view in front of me was blocked by something. Several somethings. Long and skinny. And furry?

"Don't move!" cried my teacher off in the distance. Classmates backed away. I heeded the terror in her voice while I

     Expectations from attendees to the Society for Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) conference were as varied as the participants.  For me it was to legitimize myself.  To stop feeling like an interloper in the children's book world.  When I began my counseling career I remember attending the American Counseling Association conference in Montreal and absorbing that sense of camaraderie from other counselors, who in turn, welcomed me into their ranks.  My expectation for the SCBWI winter conference in New York City this past weekend was met and my image of myself was transformed from an illegitimate child into a welcomed daughter in just two glorious days. 

     My hat goes off to the staff of the SCBWI for they are extremely professional, genuine and down to earth, as they welcomed everyone, especially the new writers.  Didn't hurt that they were down right funny too.  My brain was a sponge for two days straight and what I came away with was the knowledge that I have so much more to learn about my new profession yet I am exactly where I need to be.  The speakers and events ranged from long time established writers such as Lois Lowry and RL Stine to newbies in the award winning and best seller world like Sara Zarr and Linda Sue Parker.  From each I learned something new and exciting and all of this knowledge has stirred my creative juices and brought them to a boil.

     One of the greatest lessons was from Lois Lowry who taught us the single most important question on the minds of every child that writes to her.  On the screen up front the audience read over and over, with every handwritten and e-mailed message sent to the famous author, one burning question.  Do you have a dog? Obviously having dogs is a must for every children's book author.  All kidding aside (sort of), Lois Lowry inspired me to learn to write to her level of creativity and mastery.  So a new entry on my to do list says, "Obtain Lois Lowry books, whether from the library, from Kindle, or from the local bookstore and read, read, read."  I wrote the following in my notebook at the end of her speech.  "If I get nothing else out of this conference, being inspired to the level of Lois Lowry is monumental.  It is a daunting task, but I am up to the challenge."

     The Picture Book panel taught me that picture books must have lyrical sensibility, for the lines will be spoken aloud to the child.  I also learned that although many picture books do not have children in them (often animals, inanimate objects and adults) the emotions must resonate with the children.  The panel explained how the words must be carefully chosen, as if writing poetry and how it is not necessary to "dumb down."  Yet making up a word or two can often be fun.  Although picture books is not my forte, the panel's gifts of wisdom will aid me even in writing my Middle Grade and Young Adult novels.  Make the characters unforgettable.  Make the reader laugh or cry.  Discover a story worth telling.  A writer must touch the child within.  And most importantly, Let Go To Story.  I did not know what that phrase meant at first but was pleasantly reminded that letting go to story means to get out of my head and into the heart of the story.  Find the "stuff" in the deepest part of me and wrap it up as a gift to the reader.  The story must have attitude.  And to create attitude I must find the pulse of it, the sass of it and the rhythm of it.  See story as a narrative wave, something the child in me can ride and visualize beyond the text.  Amazingly the discussion was wonderful food for fodder and though it is low on my priority list I started formulating an idea for a picture book.  Maybe a future project?

 &