What I’m Reading: Time Commentary, Traditions

Just read a commentary in the Jan. 5 2009 (!) issue of Time (last week's man of the year issue - talk about time warp!), called Listen to the Kids. Nancy Gibbs is writing about how important traditions are to kids, and it made me think about Travis and Brendan and me. She says, "Some traditions are accidents, elevated into ceremonies." That made me think of how one time, a couple years ago, Brendan and a couple of his friends came to visit here, and I happened to have a bag of socks that I'd bought, and I gave them each a pair of socks, and that turned into a tradition, that every time Brendan comes to see me, he gets at least one pair of new socks. When he got here for Christmas this year, there was a fresh pair of socks waiting for him on the bed in the spare room.

Another neat thought from the commentary was that though new traditions move us forward, older traditions "reel us back to where we came from." What an interesting idea that traditions can take us both forwards and back. That is so true for my boys and I. I was commenting to someone recently that Christmas can be difficult for Travis and Brendan and I right now because we don't really have a central gathering place, a family home. Someone else is living in our family home right now. Brendan's in a house he's lived in a few months, Travis is in a house he's about to move out of, and I'm in a trailer on the woods 150 miles away from them. But we are held together by something else, something intangible, call it memories, call it tradition.

When I see Travis, I will give him his Christmas stocking with some beef jerky in it, a tradition that started somewhere along the way. When Brendan was here on Christmas, there was little tradition about it, but all that mattered was that we were together. As Nancy Gibbs says, "It is the sense of tradition that makes us whole." I like that. I think Travis and Brendan and I have a sense of tradition, even as our lives continue to evolve and change. I hope and pray that that helps them feel whole.

As Nancy Gibbs says, "Traditions survive; they are made of love and longing for what we value, and so we hold them close and take them wherever we go." I can think of no better gift to give my sons, this Christmas, and always.

What I'm Reading: a Time essay about a failed presidency

While on my recent trip to Florida, I alternated between reading Time Magazine and Barack Obama's Audacity of Hope. I was underlining things like crazy in Hope, and will have plenty of thoughts to share on that, but I thought I'd write today about a Joe Klein essay in the Dec. 8 issue of Time. The subtitle says "Bush's disappearing act during the economic crisis is a fitting coda to a failed presidency." I love this line: "At the end of a presidency of stupefying ineptitude, he has become the lamest of all possible ducks." Late in the article: "This is a presidency that has wobbled between those two poles -- overweening arrogance and paralytic incompetence."

So what do you think Joe Klein really thinks?!!

I was just trying to think of what it is about George W. Bush's presidency that I dislike the most, and I think it is the reckless, thoughtless squandering. The squandering of good will towards America that the world was ready to offer in the aftermath of 9/11 due to our arrogance and ignorance towards the cultures we invaded, the squandering of America's financial resources that took us from a budget surplus to the deep hole of deficit, the squandering of our military's strength by overextending our reach, the squandering of American lives in a war we didn't need to have.

I see that Bush is in the headlines today, as he has been forced to react to the automobile industry crisis. It would be great if he could end his presidency with something positive. And then I can't wait for him to go away.

Florida photos and new friends

Returned from Florida on Monday - just don't ask me why. I flew from Tampa to Minneapolis and then to Madison. The flight from Minneapolis was delayed an hour because the hose from the water truck was frozen to the plane!!! Was 20 something below zero as I drove home from Madison. Drove home from work in blowing snow Tuesday night, and tonight there is a winter storm advisory, could get 8-10 inches between tonight and tomorrow.

Was looking at pictures from my trip today. Got some really good ones of John showing me some of the equipment he works on, and some glorious sunset photos at Harpoon Harry's in Punta Gorda. There's a really fun shot of me and three other ladies having margaritas at John's shrimp boil. And there's some great photos of Jenette and Thorsten, a young German couple who came to visit John while I was there. Jenette is the niece of German friends of John and had done an internship in Sarasota ten years ago. She became very close to John and Vicki and shared in the grief when Vicki died so suddenly. John has seen Jenette several times since then, and now she and her boyfriend are visiting for Christmas.

Part of the timing of my visit was so that I could meet them, and I am so glad I did. They were truly delightful and it was great fun talking with them about all kinds of things. They have both traveled quite a lot and have had some very interesting experiences. One of the experiences in particular that they talked about has really stayed with me. They told about a vacation to New England about a year ago, when a man in a group of people they were talking to asked them basically how they could sleep at night knowing what "their country" did (in WWII). Unbelievable. Jenette was terribly shaken by the conversation, and, sadly, she and Thorsten both said that it has happened numerous times to them, where they are seemingly held responsible for the sins of Hitler. I know I certainly wouldn't want to be held personally responsible for the evils of slavery or the genocide of Native Americans or any of the other sins to be found in American history.

Jenette also talked about the world soccer cup tournament that was held in Germany, and how it afforded Germans the opportunity to wave flags and feel just a little proud of being Germans, something, she said, they have an unspoken understanding that they are generally not supposed to do. Wow. A lot to think about. When I left to fly home, they were traveling to Key West for a week. I hope the folks in Key West behave and welcome them!

Ok, I am so far behind now on my Time Magazines that I have started a "Time: the Lost Issues" pile, which currently includes one May, three July, and two August issues. I have two October issues to read, plus the newest, dated October 27. So I have no business being in that most recent issue, but with a cover referencing presidential history, I paged through it over my dinner this evening. (I think that maybe there's a book for me to write about presidential history one of these years. I hope so.)

I can't wait to read the articles about lessons to be learned from the Great Depression and about presidential temperament. Didn't have time to read them tonight, but I did read the Michael Kinsley commentary on The Leader We Deserve. He was talking about the qualities of leadership that we need, and that too often, the election process works against. Qualities like being able to tell us, American citizens, things that we don't want to hear.

And the quality of, dare we say it for fear of sounding elitist, intelligence. Kinsley says, "Call it intellectual curiosity, perhaps, or a willingness to engage with complicated ideas. This financial crisis is extremely complicated. Surely the best and brightest can screw up, as they famously did in Vietnam. But four decades later (and after eight years of George W. Bush), maybe we can agree that on balance it would be a plus to have a President who is smart. Maybe even really, really smart."

I couldn't agree more. Kinsley says that "Obama and McCain are both good men. But in times like these, that isn't good enough." I think that John McCain proved himself to be a strong and courageous man during his military service and imprisonment in Vietnam. I believe that he has served America well in the U.S. Senate. I do not believe that he is what America needs in a president at this time. I believe that Barack Obama's intelligence and calm demeanor, plus his multicultural background is exactly what we need at this time. I believe he has the qualities I'd like to see in the next President of the United States.

Been trying to think about what I want to record about the current and very worrisome, to say the least, economic and political headlines. Politically, I'm more and more disgusted by the system that continues to focus on ridicule and misinformation.

I believe that there are so many good reasons why Barack Obama and Joe Biden should be elected, and why John McCain and Sarah Palin should NOT be elected, but that's not what's getting passed around on the internet. (And I will admit right now that I passed along some nasty stuff about Palin last week. Couldn't help myself.) I truly believe that Barack Obama, with his intelligence, his level-headedness, and his plans, is the leader that we need at this time. I hope that enough others believe the same. And then I hope that he will be able to live up to promise.

Economically, it's very scary. I understand why people who scrimp and save are angry as hell about the mess the big spenders with the "get rich at someone else's expense" schemes have got us into. The problem is, they have gotten us all into it, we're all connected in this in virtually every aspect of the cost of living.

And with my usual flair for timing, I find myself in some major debt, not in any attempt to get rich, but only to try to make ends meet with limited income due to my change in jobs and trying to keep a family together on my own and all the unforseen expenses of life like transportation to work and mental wellness.

Read a sentence in an essay in the Oct. 13 issue of Time Magazine, that has stayed with me. Nancy Gibbs said, "In hard times, people often rediscover the peace that prudence brings." These are definitely scary times. I'm on the lookout for prudence and peace. At the folk concert last night, "Hard Times Come Again No More," the old Stephen Foster song, got the biggest audience participation.

There's been an interesting discussion on the children's writers listserve the last few days about writers' blogs: which ones they read, and what they write. General consensus is, would be nice to have more time to read what everyone is saying, there's some really good thoughts out there, and would be really nice to have more time for writing blogs, would be nice to be able to share our own thoughts more. Of course, would be nice to have more time for the actual children's writing that is at the heart of what we do. Argh!

Another interesting thread in the discussion is the idea of keeping in mind who the blogger is writing for. I've thought about this a number of times since I started blogging. Mostly, I'm writing for myself, jotting down whatever I'm thinking about, whether it relates to my writing, my reading, my job, my family, my friends, whatever. This blog started when I moved here to my place in the pines last October, and has turned into a record of the things that have mattered to me over the course of this year. I'm really glad to have this record. So, like I said, I guess I'm writing for myself, as a children's writer, but also as just who I am, and if friends, family and other fellow persons care to listen in, they're welcome.

Some of the bloggers say they try not to get into personal details in their blogs, just write about their writing. I have a really hard time with that. I've been copying my posts from another site to this one, and I just did a whole bunch of those this morning. (Sorry if any readers were deluged with a mountain of new post announcements.) I thought I would just post the writing ones here, and leave the personal ones on the other site. Well, I did skip posting some of the most personal ones, but not too many. They are all part of who I am, and much of what I do post here about my writing won't make sense without the other stuff. I figure readers can just skip any of my ramblings they don't care to hear about. That works for me. I hope it works for you, whoever you may be!

Ohmygosh, this is by far the longest I've gone between blogs ever. And it's definitely not for lack of things to write about. Besides all the "normal" stuff which already makes for very full days, I've been pushing myself hard to get as much done on the book as possible before time runs out, which is about to happen this weekend. In the midst of this I had a very strong feeling that I should go see my dad for Father's Day, which I did, and which I'm very glad about. I could be wrong, I would be very happy to be wrong, but I don't think he's got a lot of time left. And since my mom and dad live in FL, I also wanted to see my friend in Sarasota again and see if maybe the time was right for us to be more than friends. It turns out it was, it is, and I am very, very happy about that.

Last year on my birthday I bought myself a bumper sticker that says "Something wonderful is about to happen," and I put it on the refrigerator here at my place, well before I was living here full time. I went through some pretty rough times just before that and just after that, but tonight, as I think about the good things, the extraordinarily good friends I have (two of whom sat in my yard with me this evening, giggling and crying happy tears), the good fortune of finding a job that is a good match for me, the opportunity to be writing my 25th book, the wonderful parents and family I've been blessed with, the hopefulness of having a very special person move into a new place in my life, ohmygosh, life is good.

High on the list of questions I plan on taking to the pearly gates is "Why ticks?" I mean, what was He thinking?! I know that chickens eat them, but there obviously aren't enough chickens around here, and I'm pretty sure there's enough other stuff for chickens to eat anyway.

I'm supposed to be working on my book right now, but I just pulled a tick out of hair and I got distracted (not to mention grossed out). I worked outside for awhile earlier today, fully aware that the woods and meadows around here are infested with ticks, but what are you going to do? I refuse to cede the outdoors to the ticks! I did spray myself, and showered right away when I came in, but still there's ticks. What was He thinking?

Went back deep into the woods today to dig up some ferns to plant around my lp tank. If all goes well they should grow up around it and at least partially hide it from view. I have some at my old house that I dug from these woods twenty years ago and they grow at least 4 feet tall. Walked through some parts of my woods today that I don't think I've ever been in before. That is so cool.

Also worked on raking some of the driveway gravel out of the lawn that got plowed up with the snow this winter. Gonna be working at that for weeks. Trying not to do too much at once, as it is, I think I'm going to be sore tomorrow. Fought with the beat up old mower I've got and couldn't get it to start. Makes me want to cry. I think I'm just not strong enough, and that's so frustrating. That stupid thing had me in tears more than once last summer. I think I'm just going to go ahead and buy me a mower I can start. Life's too short for this kind of frustration. That's what credit cards are for, right? Now if I just knew what ticks are for.

Got all the way through chapters 1 and 2 with pen and paper, AND got all those changes put in the computer. Put 1 and 2 together and split 3 into 2 and printed those 30 some pages out. Started going through those pages with pen. Will finish that tomorrow night and input those revisions, and then the first three chapters will be in pretty good shape. I'm feeling very good about the progress made this weekend. There's still a long way to go, but I'm in much better shape than I was on Thursday, so that's a good thing. And I did take a break this afternoon to transplant a few ferns and join Tom and Ann on the dog walk. Time for a glass of wine now, and gonna tackle the mountain of laundry that needs putting away.

8 p.m.


Revision Progress and a Wonderful Dinner

I've made some good progress on the revisions this weekend, and plan to keep at it today. Friday evening I got in a couple hours of typing the revisions I'd done on paper into the computer. As Snoopy would say, it was a dark and stormy night, which made it a good one for working. Saturday's weather wasn't much better most of the day, so I kept at it, and by 3:00, I'd finished typing in the thirty pages of chapter 3 revisions. I think I'm going to combine chapters 1 and 2, which are both very short, and split chapter 3 into 2, becoming chapters 2 and 3, and then all three will be about 12-15 pages. I'm going to work on chapters 1 and 2 today, making the revisions on paper by hand. Maybe I'll post back later with a progress report. The weather's going to be nicer today, so it will be much more difficult to stay focused, but I'll try.

But I also need to record the fact that it has not been all work and no play. I joined Tom and Ann for dinner last night at a marvelous restaurant in Wautoma called the Duck Crossing. It's owned and run by two very interesting and talented ladies who prepare a special Saturday night menu, and then you sign up for a reservation if you are interested in that menu. It's a very small and charming place, usually about 4 tables of 2,4, or 6 diners. They had a full house last night for a Cinco de Mayo dinner; I think there were at least 18 people. It was wonderful. We had homemade guacamole with chips for an appetizer, and wonderful salad with melon and a mexican vegetable I can't remember and a wonderful homemade dressing, chicken with mole sauce which I'd never had before and really enjoyed, pork enchiladas and I love enchiladas, shrimp with a wonderful bean and tomato sauce, and a wonderful corn souffle. And a wonderful made from scratch margarita. And strawberries and fresh whipped cream on a homemade sugar biscuit for dessert. Absolutely incredible meal. Unfortunately, but as one might expect, it costs a lot. So it's a rare treat, but one I enjoyed immensely.

In addition to Mexican independence, we were celebrating, sort of, Derby Day, which was a very exciting race, with tragedy mixed in. And it was Tom and Ann's anniversary, two of my very best friends, who are each other's very best friends, and who are absolutely wonderful together. Happy Anniversary you two!

8 a.m.

I'm listening to a Steve Gillette and Cindy Mangsen cd that I bought last night at their concert and reliving a wonderful evening. Thanks, of course, to my friend Tom, the folk music wise man (and wise guy) of these parts, I learned about the upcoming concert sponsored by the Black Hawk Folk Society at the delightful Mt Morris Town Hall. (Actually, I think it might have been his wife Ann who first told me about the concert, but I'm sure she would have no trouble with attributing knowing about Steve Gillette, not to mention being a wise guy, to Tom.)

It was a snowy April night, and we wondered if many people would come out, but the cozy room (known for a highly imaginative old-time wall painting and great sound) was full to overflowing and it was well worth the trip. Steve has a very animated style of playing guitar while singing with a wonderful rich, smooth voice that doesn't hint at all of the many years he's been singing. Cindy played guitar and English concertina, that was so much fun to watch her play and to listen to, and I think her voice and style is a perfect compliment to his.

Throughout the concert, they alternated between playing together, and each playing individually, and whether performing on their own or together, it was just right, and wonderful. I love how they talk about other folk singers they know and whose songs they perform. It makes the folk music world feel like the family it is. And looking at their website this morning, I see that many, many singers, from John Denver to Waylon Jennings to Ian and Sylvia have performed Steve's songs. I'd have to say my favorite song was The Old Trail, "Ah but I take the old trail every time," but it's closely followed by several sad ballads and several very silly songs and the beautiful Bed of Roses.

Of course my review would not be complete without mentioning the delightful pre and post concert gathering at Tom and Ann's. Neighbors and friends gathered around the kitchen counter sipping beer and wine, and enjoying snacks (Ann makes the best guacamole!) and ham sandwiches and lively conversation. It just doesn't get any better than this.

The day job requires extremely focused and intense mental energy all day every day. I'm usually so mentally fatigued by about 3 p.m. it's all I can do to blunder my way till 4:30 or 5, and then how I find my way home through the mess of county highways F and U and FU that I'm taking these days is a wonder in and of itself. What I'm trying to say is, that's why I haven't written all week!

But there was a fun thing that went round the Read 23 (Book Club) diehards this week. Anne posted a poll as follows:
Harris Interactive surveyed American adults to find out "What is
your favorite book of all time?" The answers:

1. The Bible
2. Gone with the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell
3. Lord of the Rings (series), by J.R.R. Tolkien
4. Harry Potter (series), by J.K. Rowling
5. The Stand, by Stephen King
6. The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown
7. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
8. Angels and Demons, by Dan Brown
9. Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand
10. Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger

I responded that I was glad that my all-time favorite was on the list, and at least I'd read all but 2 1/2 of them. Joel, very kindly, took the bait and asked, so what was my favorite. My typically long-winded response is as follows:

My favorite book of all time has always been, since I first read it, probably in 8th grade or early high school -- To Kill a Mockingbird. The best example I know of where an incredible movie perfectly compliments an amazing story (in my humble opinion). I'm sure I read it about the time I was forging an identity as a bleeding heart liberal (raised, proudly, on Chicago's southside).

I loved The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings a little later in high school and into college. I think the Harry Potter books are wonderful, and I think Rowling tells a good story, but I don't think I'd put them in the same category. Close, but not quite. Anne, you may be sorry to hear this, but I did read and enjoy both Dan Brown books. Angels and Demons I read on a trip to Canada, and I have a wonderful memory of reading it at Buchart Gardens on Vancouver Island. The murders were a bit grisly for my taste, but I enjoyed the Roman setting, papal history, and science vs. religion theme. And thought it a richer story than DaVinci Code, but in that one I did enjoy the art history, the French countryside, and of course, the ending in Ireland.

Catcher in the Rye, read in high school, didn't do much for me.

Oops, just realized I didn't read 3 1/2 books, not the 2 1/2 I claimed. I'm sure my husband read The Stand if it was published before he died, maybe that's what I was thinking. He adored Stephen King's writing, bought each new book as it came out, hated waiting for the next, and was always trying to get me to read them, but I just couldn't handle the scary parts. The other two not read are Gone with the Wind, liked the movie, never read the book, and Atlas Shrugged, dare I admit, never heard of it. And yes, Anne, you guessed, the Bible is probably generously estimated as half read.

It would be fun to try to put together my list of favorite books. Maybe sometime when I have a little more mental energy. But it's Friday night, it's half raining/sleeting/snowing out, and I'd rather be reading!

If memory serves (and that’s a big IF), when I started this blog, I had in mind that it might be a way to communicate with other writers, particularly children’s writers, and that I would be journaling about writing. I guess that coincided with moving to my land and trying to make it with freelance work. Given various factors in my circumstances, that didn’t work very well. I’m afraid I’ve never been very good at making money. Not that I don’t work hard. I think I do. I just don’t have a knack for doing work that will pay well. Sigh.

But I do have a passion for writing, and I enjoy the fellowship of writers. Which brings me to today. The Wisconsin branch of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (hereafter referred to as SCBWI-WI), held their annual spring luncheon in Oconomowoc today, and I was able to attend. It was a nice day for a drive, and though I left the house late this morning and the drive took longer than I thought it would, it was a good day for a drive and I just thought, I’ll get there when I get there. Fortunately, they were just starting as I arrived, and my friend Anne, whom I met at the luncheon last year, had saved me a seat, and that was nice.

The guest speaker was an editor from Greenwillow Books, and she gave a talk about the journey a writer and a book take in getting published. Some of it I’d heard before, but I didn’t mind hearing it again, in this particular context. Lunch was in a lovely room overlooking a small lake, and though the lake was still ice covered, it was still a lovely view. I chose the French salad (greens with roasted vegetables) as opposed to the Caesar salad, and it was wonderful. The others who joined Anne and me at our table were very interesting, and we had a great conversation over lunch. That’s a big part of the value of this occasion. When I met Anne last year, she introduced me to the organization of freelance writers in the Milwaukee area that I joined, and the book club that I now participate in is a subgroup of that. It will be fun to see what lingering effects this year’s luncheon has in store for me!

I was able to talk to a few people to try to find out why I haven’t heard from the editor of a book I’m supposed to be working on. Didn’t get any answers, but the discussions were good anyway. And there’s a friend, Sharon, that I hadn’t seen since last year, and I enjoyed talking with her a little bit. We made some plans to get together this summer, between where she lives and where I live, and I truly hope to follow through on that. Between the stresses of my new job, and the money worries, my writing life doesn’t get much nurturing these days. But today was a day to feed my writer’s soul, and it was good.

My new Time Magazine arrived on Friday, and I added it to the pile, which now includes issues dated March 17, March 24, March 31, and April 7. I’m used to being about a week, maybe two behind, but this is ridiculous. When I was teaching, I would fall behind because I really had to work almost all the time to keep up with the lesson planning and paper grading. At least I now have a job that I pretty much leave behind at the end of the work day, but the roughly ten hours a week I spend commuting is a bummer, and I just don’t have enough time for reading. Oh well, I do what I can, and here’s some thoughts about what I have managed to read lately.

Because I’m so far behind, I’ve taken to paging through the new issue when it comes so I can hopefully catch something that’s particularly timely. In the newest issue’s Verbatim column, there was the quote from Chelsea Clinton in response to the question about whether the Monica scandal had damaged her mother’s credibility. I think "I do not think that is any of your business," is a marvelous answer, and I’d like to see a lot of people use that answer more often. More on that, perhaps, another time, but I was glad I’d seen this blurb, because my friend Ann and I talked about it while driving to a garden show yesterday.

The next most recent issue is the one with the cover story about the Dalai Lama, and I will be looking forward to reading that as I’m very interested in him and Tibet. But the only article I’ve read so far was a short one by/about Jimmy Carter and the fight against guinea worm disease. My book on Human Rights has a chapter on Jimmy Carter and the work he and Rosalynn have done through the Carter Center. I respect and admire them both very much. In fact, I couldn’t resist sending off another email letter to Time Magazine in response to that article, saying that Jimmy Carter is my hero. I think he is a magnificent example of one person using the power of their position to make the world a better place.

A couple weeks ago I saw a blurb on the Yahoo website about the degree to which the war in Iraq is about oil. I sent a copy of the article to a friend, and in the process, I got signed up for washingtonpost.com. Now I get a daily email with a list of articles I don’t have time to read, but wish I did. I did read one this morning about the World Wildlife Fund’s Earth Hour, honored in a number of cities last night. Good article, and way cool idea. No, that hour’s dimming of lights and shunning microwave ovens isn’t going to save the planet, but I’m a big believer in enough people each doing a little, and then a little more, adding up to a big difference. While driving to the garden show yesterday, Ann and I were talking about this too, and I was noticing solar panels at various spots along the interstate, and that’s neat. Ann and I are going to go to a renewable energy show this summer and keep working on trying to make our own lives a little greener.

After getting home last night, I finished reading a book that my book club friend Anne had given to each of us in the book club, Isn’t It Romantic, by Ron Hansen. It was a very enjoyable read, sort of a "cleansing of the palette," after the depressing short story anthology we read last month. A French girl finds herself in a small Nebraska town, having to choose between her French fiancee who has pursued her there, and a small-town Nebraska fellow. Described as "charming entertainment" on the back cover, that’s exactly what it was. I’m going to see if any of my friends around here want to read it, and then I’ll give it back to Anne and she’ll pass it around, which is another very cool idea. Joel, another book club member, says that his family and friends pass books around like that until they finally fall apart and "expire" on someone’s shelf. I think that’s just how a good book would like to go!

Our next book club selection is Mark Twain’s Innocents Abroad. What fun! Joel picked this one, from the genre of humor, and I’m really looking forward to getting into it. Not sure if I’ve ever actually read any of Twain, besides Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer and a couple of short stories. I’m very glad to have this opportunity to remedy that! And so, on with reading.

Talking things out

After writing about some of the things on my mind last night, I got to thinking, I hope it doesn't seem as if I'm looking for someone to tell me what to do or solve my problems for me. I know that everyone has their own problems, and I know that there are plenty of people with problems much worse than mine. But it sure can help to "talk things out," and I'm grateful for friends that I can talk about these things with. But I certainly don't expect, or even want, friends to solve my problems for me. Some of them I brought on myself, and some of them are just part of life, but either way, my problems are mine to solve.

As a problem solving strategy, I have always found it helpful to write things out. Way before there were personal computers and blogs, I used to write in diaries, and write letters, to write out my thoughts and in doing so, sort things out in my mind. I guess I sort of think of these blogs as being like those diaries and letters, left around for people who might be interested, to read. I'm mostly talking for my own benefit, to try to see my way through things, and it does help. And it's more socially acceptable than talking to myself!

Enough with Winter Already!

I am seriously sick of winter. I'm not kidding. I know that it does no good to complain about the weather, and I know everybody else in these parts is sick of it too, but goddamnit, how much more of this can we take?! I woke up this morning to the sound of rain. It was actually sleet, and it coated everything with ice. Then, at exactly 7:41 this morning, it started turning to snow, and by 7:45, it was snowing like all get out. And it kept snowing all friggin day. I went out several times to shovel my porch and scrape ice off the car windows and doors. We had over a foot of snow by 4:00, when my neighbor came over to plow my driveway (thank you, John). Where I shovel next to my porch, the snow is piled up as tall as me. This is crazy! It's still snowing as I get ready to go to bed. I don't know if I'll be able to get out in the morning to go to work. I'm going to start looking into a ticket to FL. Get me outta here!!!

What do you do when you have too much stuff?
Current mood: trying to get organized

I've got some big time simplifying to do. That's what I call having to clean out and get rid of "stuff." I've got a lot of stuff, and now that I live in my little place in the woods, aka, a trailer, I'm not going to be able to keep it all. I've packed my place with just about all the stuff from the old house I can get in here (actually, there are a couple more things I'm going to try to squeeze in), and because I'm good at it, I've probably managed to find room for a lot more stuff than most people could fit in a trailer.

But there's still a lot of stuff back at the old house, including a "front room" packed full of boxes of stuff I brought home from my classroom when I quit my teaching job, and boxes of stuff from my years of writing nonfiction books, and boxes of stuff that was my husband's, and boxes of stuff that was my kids' when they were little, and just plain boxes of stuff. I'd really like to try to get that house on the market soon, and in order to do that, I'm going to have to face the question, what to do with all that stuff.

Some of it I know I'm never going to want to part with. But want to or not, I may need to. Fortunately, I recently read an article in Experience Life Magazine, Jan/Feb '08 issue, that might help. The article was "Stop Storing Stress," by Karen Olson, and the main idea is that storing up a lot of stuff is not only expensive, it creates stress. An organizing expert says an overaccumulation of stored-up belongings demands a lot of space, both mentally and physically, and forces us to invest some measure of our current resources in the past.

That really hit me. While I really like stuff, and I have a penchant for old stuff (I was a history teacher, remember), I pride myself in living in the present. The article says, ask yourself "What life do I want?" Then look at the stuff around you and ask, "Does this help me create the life that I want for myself? If you're tripping over items from your past or those saved for the future, it's tough to create a peaceful, organized life in the present." A peaceful, organized life in the present sounds really good. I think I'm going to have to get rid of some stuff. Sounds like there's a rummage sale in my future.

Seems like just about everybody in these parts has a "frozen pipes" story somewhere along the line, and now I do too. Now that I'm living in my trailer, I needed a washer and dryer. I bought a new highly efficient wash machine, which should let me get away with using a second-hand dryer that my neighbors gave me awhile back. In the process of putting in venting for the dryer, another neighbor discovered that there was a spray of water shooting up at the underside of my trailer from the pipe leading to my outside faucet, and it probably has been since freezing some time last winter!! Yikes! The only good thing is that when I wasn't here over the spring and summer, I had my water shut off, but ohmygosh, when I was here, that's a lot of water that has been shooting up at the bottom of my place. Thanks to an incredibly kind neighbor, the leak has been stopped and I now have fans placed under the house in hopes of drying it out enough to get through winter and deal with repairs next spring. As stressful as this situation has been, I count myself so blessed to have wonderful friends as neighbors who are here to help in all circumstances. Plus, the people at the place I bought the mobile home from have been very helpful with advice about taking care of the place even though it's been several years since I bought it. That's what I love about living up here -- the birds and the trees are great, but the people are the best!

It's been a very challenging year and a half or so. I was working as a middle school social studies teacher. I loved teaching history, but I worked too hard and I cared too much and for a variety of reasons I decided that I needed to quit that job to retain my sanity. I figured that there had to be something else that a hard-working, reasonably intelligent person with a variety of skills and experiences could do. It turned out to be a lot harder to find another job than I thought it would be. Maybe I'll explore that some more another time. At the moment the feelings of inadequacy, rejection and failure are a bit raw. I tried a couple things that didn't work out. I sent out lots of resumes that were responded to with "thanks but no thanks" or were never responded to at all. (I'm honestly not sure which is worse.)

In the midst of this my sons were both going through some rough times as well. One went through a pretty intense battle with depression and the other went nose to nose with alcohol and the law. Money got tighter and tighter. But I had a wonderful "significant other," and we had a lot of good times. Then that ended. Swell.

During all of this I was spending more and more time at my property up north, where I had a cozy little trailer home in the woods. It's where I'd always found I could "put myself back together" when life seemed trying to pull me apart. Why not stay here then? Good idea. But life had become so difficult this summer, that even here I was sometimes finding it difficult to smile, and sometimes I was downright down in the dumps. But yesterday morning I noticed something. I'd had a good week here; it's been over a week since I've declared myself "moved in," and I had a wonderful visit with my son Brendan. Yesterday morning I was puttering around, getting ready for a "ladies' adventure" with my friend Ann, and I noticed that I was doing a sort of happy dance that I do when I'm in a "life is good" mood. Life is never all bad. And I know that this doesn't mean that it's going to be all good. But I'm getting my bounce back. And that's a very good thing. :)

The move to my place in the pines has been a process, maybe even an evolution, that has been going on for many months as I shifted my focus from home in Fontana to my trailer home. I now consider myself "moved in" because my Cindy cat is with me and I haven't been back to Fontana for over week. Cindy cat, who doesn't travel at all, was not happy about the two-and-three-quarters hour drive here, but as I hoped, once we got here she was very excited about exploring her new digs, and there was plenty of purring when she snuggled next to me for the night to let me know it was going to be okay.

And it's been more than okay since. I'm making progress on trying to find work that will help pay the bills and on getting my place ready for winter. Last weekend my friend Ann and I had a wonderful day "accessory" shopping at a furniture and appliance store with a 60% off sale. 60% off!, followed by a delightful "ladies lunch." My friend Tom introduced me to the rituals of the local dump, and I actually came away with a "new" cooking pot that I will probably use for flower planting next spring. My friend Debbie stopped by for a glass of wine, and I talked a little Aldo Leopold with my friend John while he was making wood between my property and his in the cool fall sunshine yesterday. Life is good