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Check out moyer_girl  's journal to view the contest details and win her book Healing Water!

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you can't get rid of a cliche' to save your life? Wait....another cliche' ARGHGH!!!

It's a chapter ending. I CAN"T end it on a cliche'. Especially one that today's teen won't understand.

Here's the sentence:

I'd lost the two most important people in my life in one fell swoop.

Swiper! No swiping! Or swooping! Egads! I can't get rid of this one. Ok...I'm leaving it for now and will sleep on it. It's highlighted so I won't forget about it. As if.

And thanks to those of you who weighed in on the drink. Scotch on the rocks sounds great. Well, not to me. I'm a Kahlua girl myself. But, more importantly, it came across loud and clear that daddy dear was drinking alcohol. Not soda. Or Lemon Lime Kool-Aid. LOL brian_ohio!

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I need some help on a tiny passage 

 

 

What do you think Mr. Green is drinking? Any suggestions? There's a reason I used the word tumbler. Your responses will help me decide if it's the right word.

I love revising.... Wheee!!!!!!

Oh...and this is a YA.

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Check out the book giveaway here at the Author2Author blog! But hurry. It only lasts this week!

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Thanks to those of you who took the time to answer my character questions. And took my poll! Coolio! Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream coming up! Hold the fudge and whipped cream. Extra cherries!

 
I thought it was interesting that the percentage was higher for those wanting to know character hair and eye color than for those wanting to know what the character was wearing. Apparently, according to the poll, character attire is important only if it is important to the plot. Interesting. Meanwhile, I'm trying to know my characters better so that they won't sound cardboard when I describe them. And I'll keep looking for creative ways to describe their physical attributes. I need to really look around more. So often a haircut says much about a person. The level of physical upkeep makes a statement about personal worth, don't you think? Oohhh. I hope not. I spend very little time on mine. Wash and wear hair. Five minute makeup.

All right. I'm off to work on the lady with the stroller. And write a reveiw. I just finished crissachappell 's book TOTAL CONSTANT ORDER and loved it! Sometimes I really hate it when a book is that good. Why? Because it was over too fast leaving me wishing I could spend more time with the characters. And...now I have to find another book. Oh wait! That's totally NOT a problem! :) 

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1) For mechanics out there. When driven for several miles, does the underside of a car get hot? More specifically, are there parts of the underside that would not be hot...so that if the vehicle was, say, on it's side, the top crushed onto a tree, a person could feasibly climb up the undercarriage to help get someone out of the driver's window? What parts?
(I looked at my son's old Hot Wheels. They were no help. Oh! Except I know the muffler's probably pretty hot.)

2) Young moms. (I'm the 2nd part of that. My kids haven't been little for a long time. And the older I get...well, the older I get.) (Oh, and dads, you can answer too. I'm not sexist.) Oh yeah...the question.
IF...you were in a park with your three-year old, and you came upon a teen walking a beautiful black lab, (and we'll assume here that you're letting your daughter pet said lab after, of course, asking permission), and said teen for no apparent reason, except for the fact that she sees you have three beautiful, albeit scraggly-haired and naked, Barbie dolls strapped safely into your stroller, said teen begins sobbing uncontrollably, would your reaction be to console the teen and ask what's wrong, or would it be to quickly snatch your daughter to your bosom and politely, yet quickly, get the heck out of there?
(And no, I do not write such ungodly long and rambling sentences in my novels! It's 1:40 am here!)

Ahhh....the promised poll. It is nearing election time after all. And being from Florida and all, I want to be sure every one gets plenty of practice before the big day, so there are no lost divots. Wait. That's golf. Digits. No...math. Ummm. Well golly darn. I forget. Just close your eyes and click.

Some background. When I read, I don't picture people. Ever. Rarely do I focus on faces. Hair, only if it's important, which it's usually not. I guess I picture headless people. Well, often I picture that they are fat, sweaty, and about to have a heart attack. Wait. Not often. I didn't mean often. Why did I say often? (I'm picturing Pete somebody here, Kay Scarpetta's helper in the Patricia Cornwell books? They're adult. Oh...and she's thin, fit and sharply dressed.) It sounds like I have weight issues. So...ok. Sue me. But I do picture them. Sort of. I guess what I'm saying is that I picture their essence. Their personality. As a result, I have a terrible, terrible time describing people. If I'm not careful, I end up with paper dolls. Really. So I cheat. I try not to describe hair color, etc. What about you?

Ok...I'm obviously sleep deprived. Or maybe just plain deprived. A multiple choice poll may not be as fully helpful as I'd hoped. So if any of you writers out there would like to expand upon your answers, please do. I would love any helpful ideas on how you make your characters physical traits come alive on paper, besides those "quirks" that we use to make them special.

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I'm getting better! My temp hasn't been much over 99 at all today and although I still have an irritating occasional cough, I haven't had to suck on a single cough drop to get it under control. I'm still glad I stayed home. I'm putting all the bedding through the sanitary cycle. I got distracted and cleaned out my son's dresser. I've picked up the house. (Just a little...I'm not feeling THAT good!) And I've been reading TOTAL CONSTANT ORDER by crissachappell . So far I love it. My kind of book. I LOVE realistic YA.

But the best part is I've been able to think about my YA a bit. You remember that in order to find the true beginning of this novel I had to cut several thousand words? I'm weaving some formerly cut scenes back into the book using flashbacks. But I'm finding that I'm still not putting in nearly as much as I'd cut. I'm only inserting snippets of former scenes. Fragments of memory as would seem natural to a teen who has suffered terrible loss.

Here's the problem. The <most recent> previous draft of this ms was already on the short side. More a mg length. Now I worry about stretching it as well as keeping the reader engaged throughout the rest of the book. So, I think I've hit on it. She needs siblings. More specifically, she needs a brother who looks up to her. She's a senior. I'm making him an eighth grader. Well for now. He may change my mind. The scene where her dad gives her advice? That will come from her new brother. She will come to realize how her behavior, and her reactions to her best friend's death, greatly affect the well-being of her brother. This will also help give the book a few new layers. Maybe I'll find a plot issue or two with her brother.  Oh yeah. I like this...

Ok...I like sick days like this.

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Cyber hop on over to Teens Read Too and check out their February contest! Teens Read Too and Simon & Schuster are teaming up to give away 30 books from S&S's Simon Pulse Romantic Comedies line!

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We're back! The Hoggetowne Scribbles AND Doodlers had a blast! The weekend was fabulous! And, as usual, our regional adviser, Linda Bernfield put together an awesome conference. I came away with so much. My head is full. It may take a while to decompress and process everything.

We started with the Writer's Intensive all day Friday. I can't even begin to list everything I learned. Let's just say that over the years I've found that the more I learn, the more I realize I have to learn to understand the complexity of writing that really great book. The highlight of the day, for me, was when we broke into groups for our 500 word critique. Normally you bring the first 500 words, but since the registration said we could bring an excerpt, some of us did, including me. The interesting thing though, is as others read, and I looked at my "excerpt", I had that "aha" moment. The other writers, including the queen of realistic fiction, Alex Flinn, agreed unanimously. I actually brought the first 500 words. Finally, I've found the beginning of my YA. Wow. Now I have much work to do.


Alex Flinn, Molly O'Neill, Joyce Sweeney

Molly O'Neill was delightful. She's an Assistant Editor at Bowen Press, a new imprint of Harper Collins. She was incredibly approachable and sweet. I found her workshops and critique to be extremely helpful. Character, character, character. Yes, I have more work to do.

Joyce Sweeney shared much of her wisdom, as always. I always learn so much from her. I'm saving my dimes to send her a manuscript or two. She has helped a whopping 21 authors get published. I'd give my right toe to be one of her credits!


Nadia Cornier of Firebrand Literary

Nadia was funny, funny, funny. I can see why their agency is sought after. Her workshop on promoting yourself was a bit intimidating. Like I said, the more you learn, the more you find out you don't know. (I never did get to see her dove trick though.)



David Diaz, 1995 Caldecott Medal winner

Anyone who's ever met David Diaz understands. He's everywhere. What a sweet guy.



Sid Fleishman, Newbery Medalist

Wow. Sid Fleishman. An amazing man with an equally amazing story. Wow.

There were other speakers. How could I have missed getting a picture of Lee Bennett Hopkins? He was incredibly inspirational and I'm certain my eyes weren't the only teary ones as he read from his war anthology. And no picture of Adrian Fogelin? What was I thinking? Her speech was so fabulous that I found myself sitting on the floor in her workshop the next day, facing several other writers who had to find seating just outside the door in the hallway. She critiqued my YA and saw things in my characters that I'd never considered. Wonderful insight.

The one word to sum up the conference for me is motivation. What motivates my characters? Why do they feel the way they do? Why do they act the way they do? What is the thread the ties them together, these characters that seem so different from one another? I imagine if you talked to other writers, they heard something else. But that's what resonated with me. That's my focus as I begin to revise once again. I'm going to have one of my characters write a letter to the friend that dies in my YA. I need her to show me what she really feels and thinks. Thanks to Molly's suggestion, I'm going to rewrite some scenes from another character's viewpoint in my MG, so I can see how they view my main character. So many great ideas. So much work ahead.

But the one thing I really gained from this conference is the conviction that I can do this. I've come so far. I'm so close...yet so far. But I know I can get there. I will rise above the slush. I just have to keep working at it. I really don't stink. I'm even making a new tag so I can reread this post, and remember the emotions and revelations that I took away with me this year.

So, the word for the year is MOTIVATION. What's your motivation? What's the motivation for your characters? Here's hoping we all find that motivation and that this will be the year we don't stink!!!!

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Let's see.

A Jaguar win, a fabulous evening of football, roast chicken, Spades with family, and an epiphany on BES. Yep. Life is good.

Remember I said I needed to go looking for the true beginning of my YA? Well, I'm not sure I've found it, but I've definitely figured out what's lacking. And, more importantly, I realized, thanks to Mom, WHY it was lacking. Understand that my YA came from deep within, a very personal need to make sense of a horrible tragedy. As a teacher, I've seen the lives of several of my former students cut short. None impacted me more that Marissa. God, she was sweet. She was smart, always had a quick smile for everyone, truly she was beautiful. Like her mother, she was always ready to lend a hand to someone in need. She was one of those students who had everything going for her.

And her friend Ashely. Much the same. Quieter perhaps, but no less popular. She was about to begin college on a full softball scholarship.  It ended after a night of drinking. Marissa killed, Ashley, who was driving, paralyzed for life. Marissa babysat my children. Her parents attended our church and were, are, loved and admired so much. How could this have happened?

This accident happened at the beginning of my school year, just before the girls were to start college. Then, just months later, two girls, on their LAST day as seniors, went home for lunch. They were celebrating, waving at friends from the car as they drove. Antennia, the driver, didn't see the dump truck. She turned left in front of it. Her best friend since 1st grade, LaToya, was killed.

As a way of coping, I suppose, Black-Eyed Susans, originally titled, I Survived, was born. But for some reason, I didn't want it to be just another cliche book about drinking and driving. I wanted it to be about survival. So, the beginning of the book was all about my two main characters, their friendship, their boyfriends, and why they chose NOT to drink on the night of the prom. Yet, the accident still happens. One girl still dies.

Which left the ms with problems. The first, a slow beginning. And second, the feeling of, "So the girls do everything right, they make the right decision, and she still dies? What's the point then of not drinking?" So, I revise the heck out of it, over and over. Trying to fix the beginning. Rejections that say they like the voice, but the ms just isn't strong enough. Rejections that say they like the girls, that their friendship is believable, but that the accident just doesn't come soon enough. So many...I like it...but...rejections.

So yesterday, I realized, that if I want to truly make it stronger, I have to tell the TRUTH. I've seen that word sooo often lately in LJ posts. I have to deal with the drinking. The accident cannot be random.

Ok...so I'm talking to my mom. God Bless Her. She listens when I ramble, and does a pretty good job of showing interest even when I'm beginning to see the glaze and forge on anyway. We're talking about Marissa. Here's what she said. "You know, I remember you saying, very adamantly, that you did NOT want this book to be about Marissa. You didn't want to hurt her mother." OMG! I can't explain how that affected me. Is affecting me as I write this. I cried. I felt so foolish, but I couldn't stop. That's why I didn't have them drinking. I didn't want anyone thinking I was capitalizing on this very awful night. Especially Marissa's family. Mom just looked at me, like, "What? What did I say?" That's it. That was why the book wasn't working. So, painful as it will be, I MUST tell the truth. Much as I love my characters, they MUST be flawed! NO, it's not Marissa's accident. It's totally fiction. But, it must come from the TRUTH I know inside.

So, there you have it. I'm ready to tackle this book and make it what it needs to be. I have a feeling it won't be easy.

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Have you guys heard of Nothing But Nets? Check it out. It's a campaign to slow the spread of malaria among African children.



Meanwhile....
I'm out of here to work on BES. I sent the first page to cynthea   and need to get back to work. Somehow, I need to find the real beginning.... Read the rest of this post

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That's it for me. My Christmas break is over. I go back tomorrow. So do my students. I'll probably disappear into whirl of life again. I won't be able to play here as much.

Perhaps I should apologize in advance. My blog has turned into a rash of drive-by review posting. I can't help it. I love to read. And I'm finding the reviews have been surprisingly helpful to me in a way I never expected.

As soon as I finish a book, I begin to write the review in my head. I won't let myself start the next book until I've written that review. I don't want to lose the flavor of the book, the feelings it has evoked in me. The unexpected bonus? I don't dread writing a synopsis nearly as much as I used to. They're very similar except in the review, of course, you don't want to give away the ending, or too much good stuff in the middle either, for that matter. But the purpose of both the review and the synopsis is the same, to get the reader to want more.

So, when you see I've posted, heavy sigh, another review, skip it if you must, share it if you wish, but either way, know that I believe with every book I read, every review I write, I'm learning more about the market. I'm getting a feel for publisher tastes, and I'm improving my ability to market my work. I hope.

Wanna know what I'm reading now? Thirteen Reasons Why, by Jay Asher. You know what? It's really hard to read. Not what you're thinking. Those of you who've been friends for a while will remember my posts about my student from last year who shot himself in the head. He survived. I don't know more than that. Another student took pills. Fortunately, she took "happy pills" and was discovered in time. So, for me, this book is way too close to home. But wow, it's good. Really good. That will probably be my next post. Until then....

Keep writing!

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There's a thread at VerlaKay's predicting the next Newbery. I loved A CROOKED KIND OF PERFECT by Linda Urban (lurban  ). I was fortunate to be able to read and review an ARC of this wonderful book. I'm thrilled and none too surprised to see the title in the running.

Here's wishing her good luck. I'm sending her Newbery vibes!

Jump on over to Verla's to read and join in.

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Here's an interesting link I just found.

http://www.vistacomp.com/pub_moves/pub_moves.html

I think it includes all genres, children's and adult publishers. But still interesting.

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How do you like my new icon? It's in honor of my online critique group, you guessed it, The Feathered Pens! Three of us are LJ'ers. When you have time, hop on over to boreal_owl's place. Then take some time to visit with susansee.  Thanks, Barb for the icons. Love my critique groups!

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I finished revising the first third of Black-Eyed Susans and sent it to the Feathered Pens. I got a review posted here and on my MySpace blog...AND...I finally started on the additional chapters I want to add in the middle of Black-Eyed Susans. Yay!

Now I have to go pick up the kids from their cross-country party, pick up my son's shoes and jacket he left at a friend's house, and then come home and pick up the clutter in the house.

Hopefully, I can get back to Black-Eyed Susans tonight!

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I had the priviledge of hearing Bruce Hale speak at the 2007 Florida SCBWI Conference. He's the author of the Chet Gecko mystery series. He's an amazing speaker. I took his workshop and learned quite a lot. But you've just got to check out this link.

http://www.brucetalks.com/content/blogcategory/59/60/

Talk about a marketing guru! By the way, I received this email from Roxyanne Young at Smartwriters! I tell ya, Bruce Hale is brilliant!

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I know a lot of you already do this, but I just discovered Merriam-Webster and have signed up to have a word of the day emailed to me every day. Kinda cool! I either 1) feel really great when I already know the word, or 2) get really excited to learn a new word! Wish I'd known sanguineous last week. Sanguineous costumes were not allowed at the Halloween dance. Yeah, I know. I teach math. But it's still fun to throw new words at my eighth graders! I still have three days to work that one in.

The other new word I learned?

imbricate \IM-brih-kut\ adjective

: lying lapped over each other in regular order

I haven't figured out how to work that one in yet, but don'tcha just love it?

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I've been so neglectful of my LJ friends. Life has been busy. I gave my very first in-service workshop yesterday! Two sessions. I've never led a workshop for teachers before but it went beautifully! What a rush.

AND...really great news!!! I attended a grand opening yesterday. For our new county LIBRARY!!!!!! It is sooooo beautiful! The children's section is as big as the entire old library. We went from ~4,000 sq. ft to ~20,000 sq. ft.! The teen section is awesome. They have their very own computer center and tons of books! They also have a lot of empty shelf space to allow for growth. Here! Here! I've already spoken to the new teen librarian several times and yesterday asked him to put me on the teen advisory committee! Sweet! So many titles that are missing. Let's hope the book budget doesn't get cut now. We're still waiting to hear.

There are several large meeting rooms. I'm picturing writing group meetings....and.....author signings! Yes...I can dream. My goal has always been to be the 1st author to speak in the new library. We'll see. Have to sell a book first. There's also a huge computer lab since they are also the new library for the local community college.

The very first book I checked out? The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. Can't wait to start it! Right now I'm reading The Boy in the Striped Pajamas by John Boyne.

On the writing front.
I'm slugging through my YA. My crit group brainstormed revisions with me this week. I'll admit, I left quite disheartened and feeling like a newbie all over again. Perhaps I wasn't ready for suggestions yet? Or maybe too sensitive? I'm not sure. Some of the suggestions were major changes. Well, actually most of them were. I'm going try some of their suggestions. The rest...well, perhaps as my subconscious tosses them around a bit I'll be able to look at them more objectively.

Meanwhile, I'm preparing to submit my mg to the editor that rejected BES and so kindly offered comments. I was thrilled to see I'd reviewed one of their October releases for Teens Read Too. Perhaps I should mention that in the cover? Anyway, I'm reworking the synopsis. I'll re-read my revisions tomorrow and see if it's ready to send Monday.

I just found out that I'm required to do a course for the Florida Math Initiative that is worth 60 inservice points. It's similar to taking an online college class. Since we're just starting, I have until March to finish it, but still, what's next:? My life is way too full.

I love it when I get a weekend like this one to read and write. Hubby and son are away camping. Ok...back to writing!

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I'm pretty psyched! I got a great rejection today. I'm finding something else to send her while she still remembers me! YES!

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Yes, life is still somewhat crazy. But I think I'm getting a handle on work. Maybe. I could have brought tests home to grade, but I left them at school. I spent yesterday chaperoning the cross-country team to the Disney Classic. Both of my kids did well. I'm such a proud mommy. But the encouraging part is that my brain still wants to write. To create!

While riding in the back seat of the bus I pulled out my spiral notebook. I'd brought it along so I could write a review if I finished my current book I"m reading. Instead, I found myself jotting down various sensory details of middle schoolers on a bus. By the time I finished, I had a page and a half of notes, a protagonist, complete with a name, a problem, several scenes, including the climactic scene, and a bare bones plot. How cool is that? Yay! I'm still a writer. Well, okay, now I have to write it. And I have another YA I've barely started. It's plotted out but I've only written a couple of chapters. Today, the computer is mine! I vow to write!

I hope you guys have all been posting wonderful news. I'm sorry but I have had absolutely NO time to read any posts. Life will slow down. The kids only have two more CC meets. And the computer issues are getting better. When you want to write...you will find a way!

Happy writing all!

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I finished my revisions for Vanishing Teachers today. Now if I can just find the time to read it straight through. I'm hoping I'll be able to next weekend.

I got three rejections in the last two days. One was personal from an editor on a ms that I'd forgotten I'd sent her. The other two were on LJ. LOL. Really. See, some of my friends have been pruning, and I got pruned. It's ok. I understand. But I mention it just because I'm wondering if my reaction is a writer thing. I get friended and it's like, "Cool, they like my journal." Then once I'm back at school, rarely posting, and even more rarely commenting, naturally, I become a casualty of pruning. But, it's like, I've been rejected. They hate me. My journal is sooo boring. Are all writers this neurotic?

The kids are away for the weekend with family friends. I miss them, but I've gotten so much done. I'm going spend a few hours tomorrow doing more submission research and get my work back out there. I send stuff out and forget about it. Then I realize the rejections have been coming in, and I only have two or three submissions out there. I won't sell anything if I don't submit it. Back to the grindstone. Yep. My least favorite part of writing. I love writing, revising, reading, and critiquing. Researching agents and editors, not may favorite.

Have a relaxing Labor Day, everybody!

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Whew! It's been a busy week! I even brought work home this weekend so I can give students their averages on Tuesday. Lots of changes at school that are taking tons more time. Hopefully, we'll see improvement in student learning as a result.

Meanwhile, my 13/yo son has decided NOT to play soccer. That's big. He LOVES soccer. But there's no team at our middle school or at his high school next year, at least not now. So he has to play rec ball. He was recruited to play on a traveling team, the coach a former Brazilian soccer player. It takes about 25 minutes to drive there. Gas is so expensive that I sit and wait in the hot parking lot till they're finished rather than return home. (Not much else to do. It's a small town, tiny library,etc. so I read.)So basically 3-4 times a week we'd be driving or at soccer practice from about 5:30 till 9:00. Once school started, even my son found it to be too much. He had no time to do homework with out staying up late and he was rarely home. It was a tough decision for him, and I'm proud of him that he could make it. He's now running cross-country (along with his sister) at his school. Practice after school every day till 5, then home. I'm so relieved that we'll be home more evenings this year.

This weekend I'll finish revisions of Vanishing Teachers, thanks to input from my critique group, and I'll prepare more submissions to send out Tuesday. If I'm lucky, I'll get to start on my YA that I've plotted out. I sure miss summer already. But I'm enjoying the interaction with students again. Especially my son!

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Yep. My summer is officially over. I start pre-planning in the morning and my kids start back Monday. I did none of the school related planning that I intended to this summer.

Instead, I read to my heart's content, signed up to be a teen book reviewer, became much more proficient with web sense and even learned some html,  finished my mg, submitted it, as well as my YA, to several publishers and agents, and roughly plotted out my next YA. All in all, a fabulous, productive summer. I'm sorry to see it end, as I know my muse will go into hibernation for a while. Back to late night weekends, cramming in as much writing as I can, taxiing my 13yo son to soccer, my 12yo daughter to cross country, and all that fun stuff. It's all good. I'm ready. Well, as ready as I'll ever be. It will be a good year. And as a bonus, I get to teach my son Algebra One.

I will still post here, but I'm sure I'll have much less time to comment on all of your wonderful blogs. (Not to mention that we have only one computer at the moment and we'll all be competing to use it in the evenings.) I'll miss you all, and will try to stay in touch best I can.

Happy writing to all of you who can't wait for school to begin, so you'll have peace and quiet at home!

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I've never done Teaser Tuesday. But mandywriter  's post inspired me to play.

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