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Hi folks, I am continuing my series called BLOOM this week. This month my series is about how to make your work bloom. Not always an easy task. For the artist, the story isn't really always so pretty. This year has been tough for me. My stupid brain has been letting me down. I've stumbled into a period of anxious depression. I've always been this internal optimist at heart, but gray clouds have rolled in.

Here's what it feels like. I sit at down to work. I've put the time aside. I focus but the feeling of jazz is gone. Bitter feeling have replaced it, and it's really choking my soaring spirit. It feels  like my window to bloom has passed me by. The winter is here and I'm just screwed. There is no money for a hothouse to force a bloom in this cold winter's walk in my life. Has my opportunity passed me by?  I don't know but I keep working.

To tell the truth, the only thing keeping me afloat right now is the work itself. I can see the years of crafting on the page. It's a happy mirror to me. I've never written better. How weird is that? Even if the brain is sort of messed up, the work is not. I'm bleeding onto the page.right now. This blood is rich stuff. This work is  the best of me. It  dodges all the feelings and the life is on the page. More than a few tears end up on those pages too.  I am so grateful for the work. So grateful.

I refuse to pause even on these cloudy inside days. Life feels too short to pause for them, and I plan to bloom. I believe that for me and you. I know that time and life isn't always on our side. And yet, dream for tomorrow. Dream another dream. Don't let the chance to create slip away from you. I know how scary it is to feel no one is ever going to see your work. Work anyway.

I have heard a saying. "April showers bring May flowers." I'm counting on the truth of this.  Showers are here. Flowers should be coming. I hope you come back next week for more of my bloom series.

One last thing, a request.  I hope that you check out my book PLUMB CRAZY.  Please read it, share it with a friend or a library, post a review somewhere.  I put a lot my heart unto this book. It will lift you up in unexpected ways.

Here is a doodle.

Hi, folks, this month I'm focusing the blog on the writing journey of PLUMB CRAZY. I'm calling this series: PLUMB CRAZY Journey -- The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and The Transcendent.  I'm going to dig deep into the generation of my novel and dynamics of that creative journey. Be aware that I write as Cece Barlow for this work. It will be released at the end of this month.

This week I'm focusing on the the bad. That right! THE BAD! Every third person you meet ( not a scientifically proven fact but a personal observation) wants to write a novel.  They also want to spend between fifteen minutes to an hour explaining that novel to you at every event you attend.  Then they may suggest that you write it for them, for free of course, since you are a writer and basically have nothing to do. Writing a novel comes with the bad bonus that very few people respect your work. Anyone can write a book. If you are a children's writer, you work for peanuts, and that's if your lucky. Don't expect applause.

Writing a novel is no fun. Bad, bad, stuff. You sit in a chair. My sciatica is terrible. You stare at a blank page, then you write entire chapters that are totally worthless. The next day you repeat this experience. For me, I will repeat this experience 5 days a week for at least 8 months to reach Draft Number One! That draft has more holes than pumice. There will be many many drafts. I work hard. I spend months refining my work. Hours at critique group, hours reading support books, hours rewriting scenes and upping the stakes in anyway I can.  There is monotony in this work. No one  tells you when you are done. No one tells you when you should just drop this novel and work on something else. There is no way to know if anyone will ever read what you writing. And yet you write anyway.

I don't write novels in a vacuum. Novels are written in the real world. It can be very bad. I wish it were all about drinking cups of tea. I wish it were all about sitting in a beautiful spot and considering my imaginary world. It is not about that. It is about writing in a corner of a hospital waiting room. It's in the middle of a day job that is about a mindless as it gets. It's not just exterior stuff that will get you down. It's about writing yourself into a corner that there is no way out of and you have to scrap the whole draft and work on something else. It't about receiving tons of rejections and still pushing forward. It's about hoping against hope.  No easy road, folks..

I hope that you are kind to yourself this week. I get it. We all are facing battles. No work comes easy to any of us. We have to pour our our souls sometimes to find our way.

I hope this doodle makes you smile.  Yes, good work comes out of a lovely blobby brown mess.