It's a new level. Or maybe a new refuge, simply renamed. I am the eye of the tornado. More than merely 'inside' of the eye of the tornado. What I mean is that I AM the eye. Here inside of mine, it is rather serene with no sound louder than the quiet hum of a faraway vacuum.
But the question that begs to be asked is this: When you go here, if you do, if you are able, is it because you are really calm and away from the absolute violence and the unpredictable nature of the winds and the rain and the hail that really hurts? Or, safe from the lightning that once it strikes you, is so stunning and damaging that nothing is ever the same? You are not the same. Or, because in that calm center, the winds and rain can't lash at you and pull at you and rip you all to shreds? So, is it a temporary respite and healthy, like meditation? Or, is it avoidance, because it's just all too much at once?
It seems to help, at least temporarily. But to inure oneself from the unpleasant too often is to miss life. Or worse, accept what is not so good. So, I will take three deep breaths to decompress, let the storm close to me dissipate and allow the swift, dark and angry clouds to swirl about until their energy is spent.
While I am not sure I completely answered my original question completely, there is at least something to consider. Personally, I opt for the former. As a temporary defense mechanism, it may be a good tool and certainly not pharmaceutically addictive. Maybe the eye is an okay place to be. Once in awhile.
