Things to talk about. I'm in the last class of my first year of Grad school and I've somehow to managed to keep straight A's. If only my high school teachers could see me now. I'm pretty proud of myself for it too. Its still stressful and its hard to figure out where you need to go when you keep getting teachers telling you to be this kind of a teacher or that. This last time I had one telling me I needed to be a special education teacher. Sigh, I have nothing against it but I really want to teach Art and now there is a possibility that the whole time I've been going through this program I might be in the wrong one. Ahhhhh can't someone just explain things to me clearly. I've tried talking to my Advisor on the subject but she gets pretty nasty with me. The last time we talked she told me I just need to stay where I was at because she felt that I would be more marketable in it. Isn't it my choice weather or not I want to be more marketable?
Anyways, the printmaking class is interesting. I enjoy the process of blending and mixing the ink, roiling it out on the boards and seeing the images on the paper. I"m not so fond of my teacher's lack of clarity when it comes to projects. I have a hard time using extremely good, expensive paper on "trial runs" and not actual art. Otherwise I'm having fun.
I finally get to go to see my dad and his family. My grandfather isn't doing so well, and its been way to long since I've seen them. My grandmother has told me that my father himself has been sick to, but he won't admit it to anyone. I'm a bit uncertain of how the whole trip is going to go. How will I feel when I see my family? Will I be able to keep my composure if its to much of a system shock? I've found that the older I'm getting the easier I cry. I blame stress...and hormones. Goodness I wish I could be seven again. The age where all you cared about was playing, eating candy, and not having to worry about much.
In the last two days I've also had two people who's backs have gone out. My print making teachers and my friend Wendy in KS. They are both near my age, and now I am having a dreaded fear that my back too will go out. Working at the shoe store has been hard on my back. Yesterday I just wanted to go home and lay down and not move for at least 6 hours. I wonder if I can mentally cause a back blow out. I hope not. I don't think I could take it. well I believe this is enough rambling for today.
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