In an odd surreal way, it was like putting on a play with all of your best friends. For 4 days we worked on publicity, set design, scripting, stage managing, music and video to show the depth of our affection for the patriarch of our large extended family. One of ten, with ten siblings on my mother-in-law's side as well (my husband has 60 first cousins) Dave, Sr. was loved by a lot of people. How could we show that love and comfort people at the same time?

We did it through photos, hundreds and hundreds of them. And it worked. People found their own photo connections to Dave, and memories in the dozens of parties he held over the years. They laughed at their own images in the 1950's and 60's and marveled at how cute everyone was as babies. They were mesmerized by a video display, mere transitions making the images come to life as the camera scanned across the photos or faded in and out. And we brought in props, spreading hockey uniforms and volleyballs around the room in order to prompt stories of the first time they were allowed in the adult games....

My husband, the writer who has to type things out before he truly knows what he thinks, wrote an amazing eulogy. And while his brothers have always outshined him in sports, this time his skills outshone the rest as he found the words they wanted to say, but weren't able to express.

I had always thought I would write poems when our parents died. But my teacher/organizing skills were more powerful than my writing skills, and a poem just wouldn't come. I know it will, some afternoon when the world is quiet and I am alone with my memories. So for now, I'll let them churn, surrounded by the love I brought back with me from all our families and friends. And though my tribute to Dave, Sr. will be late, it will not be absent. Dave, Sr. has been with me almost as long as my own father, and his lessons, though quietly taught, will stay with me forever.

I will end with a toast to my dear father-in-law, as he said for so many years "here's to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast".