Let's just say, I'm pretty amazed at the timing of this particular question. I just finished writing the following in my personal journal:

I need help but I don't feel like I can turn to god anymore since I no longer believe in god as I did before. But I do believe there is some sort of power or energy or resource available that will help me move out of this tunnel vision I'm in and find a more enjoyable way of being on this earth. Whoever and whatever that is, I call to it now … I call to it to please help me find my way out of this funk and into the light of gratitude and cheerfulness.

I then went to my email where this blog entry from Confident Writing by Joanna Young sat waiting for me. It contained what I consider to be a direct response to my rather pathetic and pitiful plea! She was writing it in response to a post from Ken Allan, the blogger in middle-earth who is asking on behalf of the Green Pen Society*.

Five years ago, when I turned 50, I decided to obtain my bachelor's degree. It's been on my list of unfinished projects my whole life and I figured it was now or never. I've been stacking up classes and credits ever since. However, just when I thought I knew what direction I was going, something would happen to make me shift my course. The last time this happened, I decided to put the degree on hold and concentrate on writing. I signed up for a creative writing course nearby and actually started a novel. I scheduled my writing first thing after my coffee in the morning and so far that has worked very well. I actually have 50 pages and almost 10,000 words down! Whenever I feel ill equipped to begin, I tell myself I don't need to make it pretty, I can always go back and do that. For now, I just need to write something down. It seems clinical to me at this point but that's ok. It's words on the paper.

However, yesterday I attended the first session of the second six week series of classes and came away feeling disheartened. I know the instructor is trying to get us to write something that will sell and I completely understand that. Of course, I want to see something I've written on a best seller list. However, I am asking myself what my true motivation is. Ms. Young's blog entry provided me with one answer to that question. One I hadn't necessarily identified yet. What I write in my journal consistently is that I want my words to inspire the reader. I want them to come away from what I write feeling better about themselves and the world around them. I want my words to cultivate and plant seeds that will grow crops useful to this universe. I want them to open new windows of possibility and to raise provocative questions.

Ms. Young's post and the quote from E.M. Forester** have done just that for me today. They have replenished my flagging resolve and given me renewed energy to keep at it. For that, I extend my deepest gratitude.

* The Green Pen Society is a group of writers/bloggers who are developing their voice in writing about the world around them.

**“Only connect! That was the whole of her sermon. Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer” ~ E.M. Forster