I have made many mistakes in my walk with Christ. Especially with my own teenagers. Sometimes patience eludes me. Sometimes I forget where I came from. And I forget that my teens are facing the same troubles, the same pressures, on a much higher level than I did growing up. I am sorry guys. Forgive me. Please help me to be a better mother to you. I don't want you going down that same path of destruction I was on. Sometimes I forget to show you the same mercy and grace the Lord shows me. I am forever sorry for those times.

Parents have a hard time reaching their children these days. Children are shutting down from the real world, and living within a screen. It breaks my heart. Please children, hear the voice of someone who has been there. Done that.

Wearing those razor blades around your necks will not make a fashion statement. It will show the true pain behind your mask of, "Everything is okay with me."

Cutting yourself will not make the pain go away. I promise you that. I know, because it never helped me. All the pain I caused myself and others. It just made more guilt.

I did so many things, in the name of wanting to help people, that only made things so much worse in their lives. But God has given me a second chance. I am grateful. And that second chance (His name is Jesus) that He gave to me, He can give to anyone who wants to feel loved by a true father, parent, friend, Savior. I just had to say that today. He changed my life.

I LIVED at the bottom of the pit for so many years, looking up, feeling like every time it rained I was going to drown. Every time the leaves fell off the tree, I was frightened because the season of death was coming. Where life ceased, went to sleep, and so did my emotions. All I knew for so many years was pain and agony. All I knew was darkness and no hope of escape.

But Jesus took me away from that. He lifted me out of that hole I lived in and moved me to a much better place in my life. Where I could realize my parents DID love me. That my FATHER did love me. That I didn't need a man to prove I was worthy of love. I found myself in abusive situations over and again because I just wanted love so freaking bad. Jesus gave me that love I hungered for.

He gave me the courage to find my way out.

To chase my dreams of becoming a published writer. I may not have made a million dollars on my first book, but its IN PRINT! Not a failure...just STEP ONE.

I am not doing this anymore to see my name on books. I am doing it to see less names under suicide on the obituaries. Less untimely names on tombstones. And to see MORE NAMES in the Lamb's Book of Life.

Jesus helped me to realize that I am worthy. I am good enough. And now that my children are older, they are going through the same struggles I had.

Not sure if their father loves them.

Not sure if Mom loves them.

Not sure if they are okay, good enough.

I need to be there for them. And I intend to.

I am putting a stop right now to Satan's trap. In the name of Jesus Christ. I am taking back what the devil stole from my kids. From the children of others. You can't have these kids devil. They belong to someone much stronger than you. And if you try to take them away, HE will just show up at EXACTLY THE RIGHT TIME and snatch them back from you. So eat my dust devil. I am going out in the streets again, starting with the houses which hold MY OWN... AND I AM TAKING THEM BACK FOR THE KING.

I am starting by participating in an event I found on facebook.

It is an event where we can write LOVE on our arms between Friday November 12 @ midnight and November 13th 11:30 p.m. Join me in my efforts, for ourselves, and for the love of others. I love kids, teens, youth, young adults. I want to be there. I want to show my support. And I am going to. Because I know what it is to feel alone. To not belong. To feel unloved.

http://www.twloha.com/