Background.  The little book Lulu that I have written and illustrated for my daughter has taken over my daily life.  I am obsessed with it.  Are the draws OK?  How about this word, or that?  Oh heck, lets take out that whole slide.

I have sent it out to many people.  The one thing everyone says is, "It's so sweet." Which is nice, but this morning I got a great critique by a young mom of a little boy.  She thinks it is more than one story and mentioned some writing issues.  So, as any writer I take it all in.  Agree with some of it, pond those issues and then go to my very dark place.

It's a picture book.  If I can't write a picture book, well, without writing issues, what the heck am I doing?  Never mind the mid grade novel hanging over my head, or all of the other little books I have written.  Does it really come down to- "You have great idea's" but, "you really need to work on the writing."

Now, I have no problem putting in the work to make things better.  Some days are better than others for that, but if I can't see the problem how am I going to fix it?  I never understood punctuation. I wrote poetry to avoid it.  I can't spell, I have trouble with my tenses and the list goes on and on.  Some of the problem is my dyslexia, some of it has to do with I just didn't learn the proper way to do things.

So, even thought I have some good idea's and I am imaginative, do I keep pushing forward?
Has my writing gotten better over the last year, yes.  Will it ever get to the point where I can stand up in front of people and take bullets for it and survive... not so sure.


And this is where you find me today.  Suck between yesterday's joy of doing a first print of Lulu for my little girl and the ugly darkness of, should I really keep going?

Time will tell.  Maybe today I should just move furniture around and be content using big muscles and leave the day where is stands.

Until next time.

-Laura