I have a mighty vision.  I have an ideal that seems impossible, yet I believe it is possible.  Only time will tell if I was right.

Lord, my God, what have you called me to do?  If what I have learned from others about you is true, you have called me from all eternity.  What is my mission?

It must have been you who made me as I am, you who gave me the dreams I dream, the visions of the future that catch up all the enthusiasm of my young heart.  It must have been you who directed my childhood, even when I was far from you, and it must have been for some purpose of yours that you let me become as I am.

Now all I ask is to find that purpose.  Work the wonders you are proclaimed to be capable of.  What are you calling me to do?

My secret thoughts, please don’t go! Do not fade back into the darkness you came from.  I fear that to speak you aloud is to lose you.  You are a dream, a fragile mirror, a floating sea of pictures without edges.  To frame or to name you seems to shatter the dream, destroy the mystery of your charm.  The moment my emotions hit the paper, they seem to become just another thing I’ve written. This is the nemesis of my dream.  I want to communicate how I think and feel, how I dream, how I was lost, how I found, how I continue to search.  I need you who read to feel what I felt, cry and laugh as I did, yet so much is lost in the leap from mind to mind.  I want to find the perfect vehicle for my thoughts, to transmit them exactly as they are in my mind without any loss in the translation.

At the end of my last post I promised to talk of my past, of my experience in the seminaries of the Legion of Christ, my struggles, what I witnessed and why I left.  I’m still trying to put that all into words.  I can’t seem to find a place to begin.  Once I do I will be at peace -I hope.  Please bear with me as I ramble and pray aloud.  I appreciate and welcome anyone’s thoughts on how to open up and tell the story of my journey.