On the playlist at the moment... Santeria by Sublime.
I'm vaping my Pina Colada flavored e-cig, and watching the delicate rain fall softly on the back patio of my tiny, quaint beach cottage while I reach deep within, and reconnect with my long lost friend, Creativity.
It's been a long time since I've sat with her. I'm so pleased to know that she still loves me, and has missed me as well. Truth is, she's always been here with me. I've just not paid her the attention she deserved. Thankfully, she's forgiven me for dissing her for so many months.
That's what happens when we allow the care of the world and potential judgement of others come in and overwhelm us. It eats away at the foundation of who we are, numbing us to the effects of what can truly make us happy and contented.
I've been on a long journey of returning to self. I've written about this before... several times, in fact.
However, I finally feel as though I've come to the end of compromising who I really am. Returning home to Florida with my family and lifetime friends has helped me a great deal. But, the past year has really solidified in my heart, that I am who I really am.
For many years, aside from the pressures of a very mentally demanding vocation, I also conformed to what others believed I should be (or rather, acted like they thought I should act). And, that affected my creative spirit. Always looking over my shoulder (figuratively speaking, of course), questioning my choices, censoring my thoughts, just giving up. Was I looking and talking the part that was expected, or was I being authentically me?
Now, I'm not a rebellious person. Nothing I do is out of rebellion (well, maybe just a tad). I just value individuality. Constraints are so easily placed on some by others. A herd mentality beats down the free-flow of creativity, and compromises the soul. The need to please the mass at the cost of one's own expression is the demise of great thought and declaration through whatever means.
Yes, I know... I'm gettin
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