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Aspiring children's author. Love cheese, people, wine and dogs. Not necessarily in that order...
Statistics for W.M.Morrell's Musings From Down Under.
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Vietnamese say they found nothing ...
Here's the letter I have copy and pasted directly from Bob Woodruff's twitter feed - who is anchor for News.
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| Why oh why was something not done immediately? Click to enlarge. |
Links to this post:
YouTube - below. China: Satellite images may show plane wreckage.
My heart goes out to everyone concerned. Unimaginable.
Being the news junkie that I am, I found these interesting. You may too. Or not ...
1. You can determine an elephant's age by its rumble.
2. In Somalia, the word for president also means "big head".
3. French troops get four-course meals in their ration packs, with troops serving in Mali receiving cassoulet, deer terrine, camembert and chocolate cake.
4. Mattresses are draped over the side of modern warships to slow down hostile grappling parties.
5. Great British Bake-Off judge Mary Berry went to Ibiza superclub Pacha at the age of 71.
6. There is one international zipline ride in the world, between Spain and Portugal.
7. Fish nuggets served to US troops must contain only fish caught in American waters or by an American-flagged ship - but may use foreign breadcrumbs.
8. A snake can eat a crocodile.
9. According to OED, Cornish and Welsh have had less influence on the English language than Hawaiian, Swahili or Zulu.
10. Space weather can cause trans-polar flights from Europe to America to be diverted.
Ellen DeGeneres's Oscar group selfie was the most retweeted tweet ever, first to cross 1 and 2 million retweets!
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| Way to go, Ellen! | | | |
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| The following morning. Yep, been there! |
I've copied and pasted this entire article. Link to author, below.
The stars of Hollywood will be gathering this Sunday (March 2) for the biggest awards ceremony in the industry. With everybody from Jonah Hill to Meryl Streep nominated for an award, Digital Spy takes a look inside the $80,000 goody bag that all the nominees who miss out on the coveted Oscar will be taking home.
Contents include a variety of gifts, including mace pepper spray, maple syrup and circus lessons, while female nominees will also receive a vagina rejuvenation procedure. The $2,700 'Orgasm Shot' treatment, designed by Dr Charles Runels, involves an injection of blood and claims to "help women cure urinary incontinence and sex problems" while "rejuvenating the vagina".Male nominees are offered a procedure to help combat balding.Below is the full list of items that Oscar nominees such as Leonardo DiCaprio, Sandra Bullock and Dame Judi Dench will be taking home with them on Sunday night:ARTAS Robotic Hair Transplant surgeryOrgasm Shot treatmentWalk Japan tourBest of Vegas holiday packageHalo natural pet food Rocky Mountaineer train tripImanta Mexico holiday packageSteamist home spa systemKoala Landing resort stay in KauaiEpic pet health therapyGizara arts printHuntley Drive fitness training sessionsKrystal Klear filtered water systemMax Martin shoesLe Petit Cirque lessonsA house call from acupuncturist Heather LounsburyJan Lewis braceletSlow watchAcure skincareJitseu handbagsNarrative clip cameraRouge organic maple syrupCoolway Go Pro hairdryerMace pepper spray gunsPolar Loop activity trackerM3K beauty productsHorse shampoo for humansChocolatinesKnit & Co cable knit mittensSlimware portion control dinnerwareBetty Jane candiesBlossoms Blends teaHydroxycut weight loss productsDosha herbal tea lollipopsAviv 613 vodkaCannonball wineBee Free Honee, organic apple honeyWrag Wrap gift wrapSimon's Happy Pet shampoo
Wine, vodka and honey I can understand. Vagina rejuvenation and robotic hair transplantation? Dear god ... whatever next!
It is unfortunate that there are not more level-headed individuals such as Dale Hansen.
Whatever your thoughts on the matter ... live and let live I say.
Beautiful Charlotte Dawson talks about what effect bullying had on her life.
New Zealand born, Charlotte Dawson 47, and judge on Australia's Next Top Model was found dead yesterday in her Sydney apartment. Charlotte was outspoken on mental health issues, bullying, and the unfair treatment she received from the media.
Charlotte had a history of depression, and had previously been hospitalised after being targeted by Twitter trolls (see below). She told a current affairs program in 2012 that she received that sort of abuse every single day. Previous reports also suggested that she attempted to take her own life after being bombarded with online abuse and death threats, sparked by her involvement in an anti-bullying campaign.
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| Shame. Shame. Shame ...Despicable bullies. Click to enlarge. |
And this is what she thought of herself:
"It just triggered that feeling of helplessness and yeah, they got to me. They got the better of me. And they won. I get it for my appearance, I get it because I'm old, I get it because I'm single, I get it because I can't bare children. I get it because of botox, people say I'm ugly and my career's over and I'm ugly, just every day."
Well Charlotte, sadly I never got to meet you, but from where I stood your career was never over (far from it) nor were you 'old'. You were stunningly gorgeous with an infectious vibrant personality and a great advocate for the underdog. Something to be very proud of.
And as your dear friend Russell Crowe said on twitter yesterday: 'Charley D...Just don't understand. There's not enough kind souls as it is. Rest in peace.'
I rarely talk about myself on this blog, but depression is a debilitating disease, one of which I suffer from on a daily basis. Never be afraid to reach out. Someone will always be there to catch you if you ask.
RIP Charlotte Dawson.
BLURB
In a brand new series, Donna Hosie revisits Logres with THE CHILDREN OF CAMELOT.
Sixteen-year-old Mila Roth wants to be normal. It’s a phrase that has been drilled into her by her mother since she was born.
But Mila Roth is anything but normal. For sixteen years her parents have hidden a secret from her. For Mila was born one thousand years ago in the land of Logres, and far from being a math teacher and a housewife, Mila’s parents are the awakened King Arthur and Gorian druid queen, Morgana.
Two worlds, one thousand years apart. And those worlds are about to collide.
The spirit of the malevolent Lady of the Lake has been contained for sixteen years in the fabled Ring of Morgana. When the ring curses Mila’s younger sister, Lilly, the Roth family has no choice but to return Mila to the land of her birth as they face a battle against time itself.
Accompanied by her best friend, Rustin, Mila will have to decide whether to defy those she loves in order to save her sister. Should she trust the Gorian druids and the mysterious Melehan? What is the true cost to Mila’s heart as she strives to master the purple flame? And why have her mother and father denied the truth of her origins for so long?
For she alone has the combined power of royalty and druid magic within her.
And now only Mila can save Lilly and Logres.
THE RING OF MORGANA will be released in ebook and paperback on the 15th June 2014.
All the very best, Donna!
Author Unknown
'I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.'
Happy Valentines Day!
Think before you drop rubbish. Shameful. No other word for it ...
If only he knew!
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| Blunt ... but true ... to a point. |
Scores of passengers miraculously avoided death or injury a couple of days ago when a powerful earthquake rocked New Zealand (again) and sent a two-ton eagle sculpture promoting The Hobbit movie crashing down at Wellington airport.
The 6.3 magnitude earthquake rocked the centre of the country, damaging buildings and sending boulders rolling down hills up and down the country between Auckland in the north and Dunedin on the tip of the south island.The shudder was felt throughout most of the country but there were no immediate reports of serious injury or death. Thank goodness ... |
Miraculously no passengers were injured or killed after the eagle toppled to the floor
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| Don't panic. Gandalf the Grey is perfectly safe. |
These earthquakes appear to be making their way up the Island. A bit of a worry if you ask me ..
This short video is fantastic. Creepy, but fantastic!
Watch and enjoy:)
George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, writer, social critic, and actor who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums. He wrote this letter shortly after his wife Brenda died of liver cancer on May 11, 1997, the day before Carlin's 60th birthday.
I was emailed this several weeks ago and never read it until today. I wish I had taken the time. I hope you do too. You won't regret it...
“The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.
Remember, to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember, to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”
George Carlin #RIP
Firstly, I'd like to know where exactly 2013 has got to. Anyone have any ideas? It's as if Hagrid has charmed it under the carpet with his wand concealed inside his pink umbrella! Honestly, the older one gets ...
Anyway, Happy New Year to you all!
Secondly, my friend Roland Yeomans, has written a new novel - DEATH IN THE HOUSE OF LIFE. Can I hear a collective gasp? "Another one!" Yes. And I think this one makes it 19. Well, that's what Amazon says at any rate! How Roland manages to work full-time, blog everyday - and tweet is an enigma to me. Superman springs to mind! Book Description:
Samuel McCord is a man cursed with death in his veins, with an outdated code of honor, and with a mysterious wife who is older than the Sphinx.
In fact the Sphinx was modeled after her.
Follow Samuel McCord to
the living nightmare world of a 12 year old Sammy Clemens in Missouri.
to –
a nocturnal campfire visit from Pele beside a 31 year old Mark Twain in the Sandwich Islands
to –
a cursed archaeological dig in 1895 Egypt with Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, Nikola Tesla, and his alien wife, Empress Meilori Shinseen.
Ancient Egypt murmurs mystery. And well it should. Excavating ruins tempts so many. So many die from venturing where mystery kills.
Samuel McCord has seen untold horrors.
The worst is yet to be unveiled: the monster within the woman he loves with all his heart.
The End is coming. The portents murmur in the stars. Death is on the breeze, and madness dances in the darkness.
Awakened Evil slithers from its opened crypt.
Can one cursed Texas Ranger manage to save the world AND his marriage?
The answers are in the next SAMUEL McCORD adventure:
DEATH IN THE HOUSE OF LIFE
H. Rider Haggard’s SHE (Who Must Be Obeyed) fascinated both Freud and Jung.
In Freud’s own words:
“Louise N., the lady who was assisting me in my book on dreams, had been calling on me.’Lend me something to read,' she said. I offered her Rider Haggard's She. 'A strange book, but full of hidden meaning,' I explained; 'the eternal feminine, the immortality of our emotions...'”
Jung wrote in the preface to Anima as Fate:
“For Rider Haggard the significant motif of the Anima unfolds in the purest and most naive fashion. He who seeks understanding and insight will find rich fare in She, just because of the simplicity and naiveté of the views which lack deliberate psychological implications.”
I have wondered what trials must be entailed in being married to such a person as SHE. I have always been fascinated with the excavations of the Egyptian tombs in the late 1800’s. As a child I thrilled to tales concerning the Curse of the Pharaohs and mummies and aliens landing in Ancient Egypt.
I combined those interests with my fascination for Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, and Nikola Tesla in DEATH IN THE HOUSE OF LIFE.
I wanted to sketch in a sense of Twain’s life being intertwined with an epic mythic life of my hero, Samuel McCord – so I placed two incidents in Twain’s life earlier to the main adventure of my novel. Both chapters play important parts in the climax of the novel.
Sounds good to me. All the best, Roland!
Tis that time of year again when rotund, bearded little men in bright-red suits bounce children merrily on their knees. Ah, to be a child again! |
| Not too far from the truth! |
The weather is sunny and warm in Middle Earth. Soon I shall be swatting away mosquitoes (little bastards) and wearing ear-defenders to stop the incessant noise of the cicadas, which are so loud in and amongst the trees backing my home, that at times I can barely hear myself think. Truly. If you don't know what they sound like, click on the link (above). Apparently it is the 'males' that make the racket. Figures!  |
| Try and imagine the cicada without the Santa hat! |
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I hope that whatever you do this Christmas, you will be safe, warm, and happy. Those of you who follow my blog know how much I love and respect animals. So, I shall leave you with this delightful photo, which, to me, sums up how precious and vulnerable animals are - no matter their size. Be kind to them. They are voiceless without us ...
Merry Christmas!!! xoxox
As Ralph Waldo Emerson once (more or less) said, "you are what you read, you guys." If the books we read shape our character, the books we read when we were kids did doubly so, because everyone knows children possess heightened neuroplasticity. It makes sense, then, that the series you devoured under the covers, way past your bedtime, flashlight in hand, offers insight into exactly who you are today, now that you're a real person ("adult").
Here is what your favorite children's series says about YOU.
Encyclopedia Brown
You're detail-oriented, and might have been somewhat of a child prodigy. You're prone to thinking before you speak, and you could be classified as opportunistic. Your motto could very well be, "if you're good at something, never do it for free!"
The Baby-sitters Club
You might be a little cliquey, but you can't help it - you just adore your friends! You weren't the lazy sort of preteen who never did as you were told. Au contraire - you're hardworking, innovative, and a great problem solver.
American Girl
You're warmly interested in people, and the well-being of others; stories about overcoming hardships are likely to move and inspire you. You're a bit of an idealist. You may be drawn to more calming activities than, say, adrenaline-inducing adventures.
Nancy Drew
You might have lived somewhat of a charmed life. So charmed, in fact, that you have to complicate your otherwise quotidian routine by solving other people's problems. You're also a renaissance woman (or man) - you excel at just about everything you try your hand at, especially sports and other physical activities.
The Boxcar Children
You're fiercely independent, and sometimes a little stubborn about holding onto your beliefs. You're imaginative, and are likely to enjoy passing time engrossed in your own personal flights of fancy. Because you spend a lot of time in your own head, you're prone to nostalgia, too.
Animorphs
You may feel as though you have a deep, personal connection with your pets, or other animals. Or, you may be a person plagued with paranoia. You are constantly worried that you're running late, and you're terrified of bugs, especially those of the slug-like variety.
The Chronicles of Narnia
More so than your peers, you have a tendency to classify things as "right" or "wrong," and you, more often than not, try to do what's "right," even if that means sacrificing immediate comforts. You are close with your family, and may feel wise beyond your years.
His Dark Materials
You're prone to philosophizing, and often get frustrated when reality doesn't align with your idealistic vision of the world. You also read a lot of Milton.
Goosebumps
You like to get your heart rate up, be it from feeling scared or from constantly changing your surroundings. You're usually the first to explore unknown territory, and you're far from risk-averse. You're drawn to more secluded places, rather than crowded, popular locations.
Dear America
You spend a lot of time thinking about the past. In fact, one could say you tend to dwell on it. But that's okay! You're also open to going on new adventures! You have a strong capacity for empathy, and love asking questions.
Redwall
Forget Star Wars, you defend Lord of the Rings like Théoden defended Helm's Deep. You're somewhat predictable, but far from dull - you're always up for an adventure!
Hank the Cowdog
You're judicious, and are likely not only to abide by the rules, but to enforce them as well. You may have an inflated sense of self, but you're not self-centered. In fact, you're incredibly loyal, and will do just about anything for your loved ones.
Harry Potter
You may feel isolated by society at large, but these feelings of isolation have brought you closer to your friends and family, who you have an intense bond with. You're a little irreverent, and you fight to support the underdogs. Feeling out of place has led you to believe that you were born in the wrong time period.
A Series of Unfortunate Events
You have a dark side, and a taste for the macabre. You have a wry sense of humor that isn't always understood by others. Your life hasn't been easy, but you've made up for it with your skills and grit.
Little House on the Prairie
You might be a hypochondriac, because you've been overexposed to the possibility of tragic maladies. You also really like food and cooking, and the classic video game "Oregon Trail" (again with the sudden, fatal diseases!).
The Hardy Boys
You laugh in the face of danger! You also watch a lot of "Law & Order," and like to spend time with your friends who, aside from their physical appearances, are exactly like you. You're impulsive, athletic, and have great hair.
A Wrinkle in Time
You may be a bit of an outcast - a savant, even - due to your esoteric interests. You have a big family, or you wish you did. You root for the underdog, and you definitely believe in magic. Er, science. Yeah, science.
Ender's Game
You're ambitious, almost to a fault, but deep down you have others' best interests in mind. You may feel like you have something to prove.
Anne of Green Gables
You're witty and incredibly imaginative. You're chatty and care about seeming distinguished. You might jump to conclusions about people quickly, and can be stubborn about trusting your own intuitions.
What is says about me, is that I'm confused!
(This post was brought to you by one of my favourite websites. The Huffpost Books)
Before there were selfies, twerking and Lorde,
There was one clear creator of word.
We rely year round on Dr. Seuss's wisdom and reason,
Especially the Grinch for the holiday season.
Let's remember his story as Christmas draws near,
And perhaps we too will grow our hearts three sizes this year.
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"The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!" According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a Grinch is an “unpleasant person who spoils other people's fun or enjoyment”. Today “grinch” is as much a part of our holiday vocabulary as Kris Kringle and eggnog. And without Dr. Seuss, it would never have existed!
- 2 - Always be open to growing your heart during the holidays.
"But I think that the most likely reason of all, may have been that his heart was two sizes too small." Though Dr. Seuss suggests that the Grinch’s head wasn’t screwed on just right or that his shoes might have been too tight, we all know that the real reason he hated Christmas was that his heart was too small. No matter how busy and crazy the holiday season may feel, don’t let a too-small heart ruin the holidays for you.
- 3 - Friends can come from the most unlikely places.
"So he called his dog, Max. Then he took some red thread. And he tied a big horn on the top of his head." The best reindeer wasn’t a reindeer at all; it was a four legged furry friend. Max is the Grinch’s loyal and lovable sidekick and just like Max, sometimes we have to love and support those who need us, especially during the holidays.
- 4 - Don't forget about the holiday trifecta: Noise! Feast! Sing!
"And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!" In How the Grinch Stole Christmas!, Dr. Seuss boils the holidays down to three key things: noise, food and singing. These may have been the things that the Grinch hated the most about the holidays, but they are definitely the things we love the most!
- 5 - The holidays are all about the importance of community.
"The last thing he took was the log for their fire!" To ruin Christmas, the Grinch knew he had to get EVERYTHING, every last speck from the Whos’ houses. But guess what? They didn't care that everything was missing because they knew that material things are not the point of Christmas. Christmas may but come once a year but the essentials of the season, like coming together as community and giving back to those in need, stay with us all year long.
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No presents doesn’t mean no Christmas.
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!” The Grinch is shocked when he discovers that Christmas has continued despite all his best efforts. And this message is just as important as it was in 1957, when the book was originally published. No presents doesn’t mean no Christmas. (This isn’t an excuse, however, to not get that gift your girlfriend has been hint-hinting all year about.)
- 7 - Good food and good company makes everything better.
"And he….he himself! The Grinch carved the roast beast!" In the end, the Grinch makes it up to the Whos by coming back with all their toys and holidays goods. And his final gesture of goodwill is to sit down to eat with them. No matter how grumpy or cranky we feel about the gift buying, the long lines, hours traveling home and nosey relatives, sitting down and having a delicious feast with your family is the best part of the holidays.
For more information on How the Grinch Stole Christmas! and ways to grow your heart three sizes this year, click here!
Images and text courtesy of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! by Dr. Seuss, credit of Random House Children's Books, division of Penguin Random House LLC.
The world has lost a great human being. South Africa's first black president and anti-apartheid icon Nelson Mandela has died aged 95.
Mr Mandela, led South Africa's transition from white-minority rule in the 1990s, after 27 years in prison.
He had been receiving intense home-based medical care for a lung infection after three months in hospital.
In a statement on South African national TV, Jacob Zuma said Mr Mandela had "departed" and was at peace. "Our nation has lost its greatest son," Mr Zuma said.
He also said Mr Mandela would receive a full state funeral, and flags would be flown at half-mast. BBC correspondents say Mr Mandela's body will be moved to a mortuary in Pretoria, and the funeral is likely to take place next Saturday. A crowd has gathered outside the house where Mr Mandela died. Some are flying South African flags and wearing the shirts of the governing African National Congress, which Mr Mandela once led.RIP Nelson Mandela. 
Two giant eagle sculptures, one carrying a likeness of Gandalf, have been unveiled at Wellington Airport as part of a huge promotion push for the latest Hobbit movie.
Yesterday, the first eagle, Gwaihir the Windlord, with a 15-metre wingspan caught the attention of travellers. Today, the second eagle carrying Gandalf, was revealed.
Yesterday, airport visitors were in a flap over the massive bird of prey that appeared above the foodcourt.
The work was the creation of Weta Workshop and boss Sir Richard Taylor said today he was "thrilled" to be involved.
"What could be more suitable for an airport in Middle-earth than Gandalf the Grey atop a giant eagle swooping into the terminal, such an evocative image from The Hobbit and a fantastic and challenging project for our artists to design and build."  |
| FOWL SWOOP: A giant eagle from the Hobbit has been erected at Wellington airport. Flight attendant Philip Dunn cowers in fear. | |
Hobbit fans can finally see the most-anticipated character in the movie trilogy, the dragon Smaug. While Smaug has previously been glimpsed in part, his full body has never been revealed. Ahead of the premiere of the second part of the Hobbit trilogy, The Desolation of Smaug, Air New Zealand on Monday unveiled a 54-metre long image of the dragon on the sides of a Boeing 777-300.
Air New Zealand chief executive Christopher Luxon said the airline had worked with Weta Digital "to reveal their star to the world".For the last premiere, the airline created another Hobbit-themed plane which carried stars to the Wellington premiere. Director Sir Peter Jackson said he was proud to debut Smaug in New Zealand.More ... go here or here
The following article I have copy and pasted directly from Janet Reid, Literary Agency - one of the best blogs out there for writers. If you're in the throws of submitting your manuscript, I'm sure you will find this advice invaluable. You will also find Janet on twitter @Janet_Reid
1. True or False: Literary agents sell your work to publishers.
FALSE. You license your work to a publisher. An agent makes the deal on your behalf. Selling implies ownership transfer, and you always always always own your work UNLESS you sign a deal that is work-for-hire.
It's VERY important that the word license is used in the contract.
2. True or False: Publishers register and own the copyright on books they publish.
FALSE. Publishers may register copyright but should always be on behalf of the author. Any contract that requires you to relinquish copyright should be re-negotiated. The contracts should specifically say "on behalf of the author."
3. A literary agent's standard domestic commission is:
a. 10%
b. 15%
c. Depends on the amount of the deal
Answer: b. Domestic sales are 15%. Subrights sales overseas are most often 10% but that percentage varies.
4. True or False: a good place to find out about agents are the ads in magazines like Poets and Writers, or Writer's Digest.
FALSE. Ads touting agents or agencies in magazines are most often list of places to avoid querying. Reputable agents don't advertise. They don't need to. Lists of agents are available on the AAR website, QueryTracker, Absolute Write and other similar places. A quick google search will do the job, as will a search of agent members of Publisher's Marketplace.
4. True or False: You need to hire an editor to go over your manuscript before submitting it to an agent or publisher.
FALSE. It doesn't hurt to have a second set or even a many-set of eyes on your work before it goes out but you don't need to hire an editor.
If you do elect to hire an editor make sure you know the difference between a developmental editor and a copy editor.
If you do elect to hire an editor get independent references.
5. True or False: It's who you know that gets you an agent.
FALSE. Being in NYC or knowing people who work in publishing can help, but it's not the one and only path to representation.
6. True or False: if you don't earn out your advance, you have to pay it back.
FALSE. You have to pay back your advance only in certain, very terrible conditions: you didn't deliver the book, you delivered a book that's not publishable. Those circumstances are, thankfully, rare.
7. True or false: The best way to meet agents is in person.
FALSE. Like all reptiles, agents are more afraid of you than you are of them. It certainly doesn't hurt to have met an agent at a conference but I signed most of my clients without meeting them.
8. True or false: agents are too busy reading queries to answer all of them
FALSE. Reading queries is a very VERY small portion of the daily workload.
9. True or false: agents are looking for the next hot category
FALSE. Agents are looking for work they can sell. Big hot category busters (like 50 Shades of Gray) are most often not-replicable. Chasing trends for your first novel while you're trying to break into publishing is a recipe for disappointment.
10. True or false: if you get an offer from a publisher, an agent will be more likely to take you on as a client.
FALSE. A small deal offer from a wet behind the ears publisher is often more trouble than it's worth. A contract offer that has been accepted by the writer can't be further negotiated either and that can hamstring an agent from making a better deal for you.
Now, that's Christmas done right!!
Trying to use direct word-for-word translation can result in some rather ... funny (to say the least) expressions!
1. Private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
2. Hotel bedroom, Japan: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
3. Doctor's surgery, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
4. Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
5. Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
6. Hotel airconditioner instructions, Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
7. Zoo, Hungary: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
8. Restaurant, Nairobi: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
9. Car rental brochure, Tokyo: WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.
10. River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
11. Men's lavatory, Japan: TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT
What more can I say?
The following post was written by Heather Hummel from the Huffington Post and thought it may be interesting to other like-minded writers. You'll also find Heather on twitter @HeatherHummel
Did you know that 96% of authors seeking agents are rejected? Flip it around, and it can be said that only 4% of them land an agent. Peruse through Writer's Market and you'll see that right alongside an agent's address is their acceptance rate.
The reason for rejections typically comes down to a few key issues. Follow these solutions, and my bet is doors will start opening.
1. Problem: Failure to Follow Submission Guidelines.
Every literary agent has their own, specific submission guidelines. Failure to adhere to these guidelines will often put your query letter in the trashcan, either the virtual one or the metal one, faster than a shooting star disappears into the galaxy.
Solution:
Pay close attention to each agent's individual submission guidelines. Visit their website and click on Submission Guidelines. Read them in detail and find out the answer to these types of questions: Do they only want a query letter? Do they want a query with the first five pages? Do they want a query and the first three chapters? Do they only accept queries via e-mail or via snail mail? Are the submission guidelines the same for e-mail as they are for snail mail?
Once you know their guidelines, follow them to a T. Remember that each agent has different guidelines, so expect to spend a lot of time researching them.
2. Problem: Genre Confusion.
Not all men prefer blonds and not all women prefer tall, dark and handsome. The same rings true here. Not all agents want whatever genre you're selling. Sending a query for a romance novel to an agent who only accepts nonfiction genres is a huge waste of time. Not finding out what genres grab an agent's attention will only set you up for rejection.
Solution:
Use resources such as Writer's Market or AgentQuery.com and perform a search of agents who represent your specific genre. From there, visit your selected agents' website and verify that their bio matches what the resource says. Agent information from an outside resource can differ from the agent's website; therefore, always defer to the agent's website.
3. Problem: Let's Face It: Your Query Letter Sucks.
A bit harsh? Consider that in a recent informal survey I did on Facebook, 10 out of 10 people said they hate writing query letters. The reason was unanimous...because they simply aren't good at writing them. If someone is not good at writing them, I am certain agents will agree.
I am the minority in that I embrace the query letter challenge like a kangaroo to her joey in the pouch.
Solution:
A rock solid query letter needs a few components to grab the attention of an agent.
The opening paragraph should not rave about how your book is the next (fill in the blank famous book/author). Instead, the opening paragraph is meant to stylistically make a pitch regarding your protagonist and book in a way that the agent will fall in love with them.
The second paragraph ought to provide the synopsis. Do not include every little detail like the color of the protagonist's hair, what day of the week she gets her manicure, or all the friends she meets along the way. The synopsis is meant to summarize the essence of the obstacles she overcomes. Stick to the big picture details.
The third paragraph is all about you. What relevant credentials, honors, and awards have you or your books achieved? In other words, why you and not the next author in their inbox?
Lastly, the closing paragraph should recognize the agent's submission guidelines, why you felt they were a good fit for your novel, and an action to take...i.e. requesting the full manuscript.
Note: Include all of your contact information: address, e-mail address, and phone number.
4. Problem: Nonfiction is a Different Beast than Fiction.
Did you know that 70% of nonfiction books are ghostwritten? What most people don't know is that rather than hiring a ghostwriter to write their entire book, what they really need first is a complete book proposal, three sample chapters, and a cover letter. A book proposal is made up of many components, such as an overview, competitive titles, marketing, etc., and runs at least 10 pages.
The problem in this case is that most people don't know that to pitch to an agent, they need a proposal and only three chapters written, not the entire manuscript. Once the book sells to a publisher, the rest of the book is written.
Solution:
If a nonfiction author is going to write their book rather than hire a ghostwriter, they're best served educating themselves on how to write and pitch a proposal to an agent. Alternatively, they can hire a professional ghostwriter to write their proposal and sample chapters. Because 70% of nonfiction books are ghostwritten, agents expect a nonfiction author with a big platform to hire a ghostwriter for their book(s).
5. Problem: Spelling and Grammar
I shouldn't have to state this, but I will. If you're submitting a query letter to agents, ensure that all spelling and grammar issues are resolved. This industry thrives on the written word, and typos or shortcuts are a turnoff.
Solution:
Hire a professional (not your Aunt Rose) to read your letter. You should also read it out loud. It is amazing how many errors you can catch when you read material out loud.
The query letter editing and reworking that I have done with clients has increased their agent response rate from almost 0% to at least 75%. Many of them have gone on to land agents and multi-book deals. Following these five guidelines ought to help increase your odds of landing an agent.
One last note. Patience and persistence are a huge part of being successful in this industry. I'm sure you've read enough about all the big authors who were rejected, but, it was their persistence that paid off in the long run.
Invaluable advise. Thanks, Heather!
I was positively outraged when I read this just a couple of minutes ago in the New Zealand Herald. Outpouring for ex-homeless US man's good deed.
 |
| James Brady of Hackensack |
Offers of support have been pouring in from around the US for a formerly homeless man whose good deed proved costly.
James Brady of Hackensack, New Jersey was notified recently that his government benefits were being suspended after he failed to report as income the $US850 ($A902) he had found on a footpath and handed in to police.
Brady, who was homeless when he found the money on a sidewalk in April after leaving a local shelter, turned the cash over to police. He was allowed to keep it six months later after no one claimed it during a mandated waiting period.
But the Hackensack Human Services Department denied him General Assistance and Medicaid benefits through December 31 because he failed to report the cash as new income. The director of human services said the agency was just following the rules.
The 59 year-old Brady is a former photographer and market data analyst who has suffered from depression since losing his job a decade ago, according to The Record of Woodland Park newspaper.
Brady told The Record that he hadn't realised he was required to report the money. Formerly homeless, he had recently found housing and was seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist and taking medication, but was unsure he'd be able to afford continuing care after his benefits were cut off.
The newspaper says offers of support for Brady have been pouring in from readers.
Bergen County's United Way has also set up an account specifically for Brady through its Compassion Fund.
Give me a break....
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