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Got a terrific nonfiction project you’re trying to sell? Wondering if you have what it takes? Here are some signs of potential future success as a nonfiction author:
 
1. You’ve previously written a book that was at least mildly successful… maybe something like The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
 
2. You have a recognizable name. For instance, Bradley Cooper. Or Oprah.
 
3. You are currently a top candidate for President of the United States.
 
4. You have recently won several gold medals in the Olympics. In a sport people care about.
 
5. You have come up with a life-changing, magical method of organizing people’s stuff. And it involves talking to your stuff.
 
6. You are the founder of Microsoft.
 
7. You are the…. what’s that? you don’t like this list?
 
(Hey, Bill Gates might be reading this blog, you never know.)

 
Okay fine, here’s a list that might help you a little more.
 
10 Things Editors Look For in Nonfiction
 
(The dead serious version.)
 
1. Established platform (built-in fans and potential bookbuyers).
 
2. Expertise and/or credentials in the subject area of your book.
 
3. A new and exciting idea, with a terrific title. (Yes, they do exist.)
 
4. A fresh take on a familiar idea. (How many parenting books do we need? Make yours uniquely compelling, and it’s possible we’ll need at least one more.)
 
5. A strong writing voice that compels readers. Yes, the craft of writing counts, even when your message is primary.
 
6. Felt-need takeaways that matter to the reader. Answer the question: What will I get out of this book? What’s in it for me?
 
7. A sellable concept – something people can’t already get for free elsewhere. This can be a tough one considering everything that’s on the Internet.
 
8. An author’s availability and commitment to playing a strong role in the marketing process.
 
9. A concept that could birth logical, sellable ancillary products, should the book take off. (Study guides, DVDs, specialized editions, etc.)
 
10. An author who is already famous (at least in his/her niche or subculture), or knows the right famous people who will offer endorsements or write the foreword.
 
How many can you check off your list?

The post 10 Things Editors Look for in Nonfiction appeared first on Rachelle Gardner.

1.  Arrive at the airport ridiculously late and then insist on jumping every queue because your plane is about to leave.  Even better, get a luggage trolley and use it as a battering ram.

2.  Wait until you get to the very front of the queue at the check-in desk and then suddenly remember half a dozen banned items in your carry-on luggage.  Open all your cases and begin re-packing procedures, making sure to spill most of your belongings all over the floor.

3.  Get one of those carry on cases with an extra long extendable handle and be sure to hold it behind you at arm’s length where you can be certain of tripping up the most people.  This is especially effective in the shopping area.

4.  Fill your arms with as many miscellaneous items as you can carry at the duty free shop.  When you get to the cash register spend ages fiddling in your purse/wallet until a major queue has built up and then ask if you can pay in a really obscure currency.  When you receive a negative answer from the cashier, simply say, “Oh, never mind then,” leave all the items on the counter and walk away dragging your over-sized carry-on bag precariously on its 8 foot handle.

5.  On the way to security, stop at Starbucks and order a bucket of whatever coffee suits your fancy.  Then try to take it through security.  When you are refused entry, insist on standing there holding up the queue until you have drunk the entire thing.  After all, you paid for it!

6.  Alternatively, stuff your carry-on bag with as many jumbo-sized bottles of shower gel and shampoo as you can carry.  When security stop you and refuse to let the items on the plane, offer to go to the bathroom and empty some from each bottle down the toilet until they all only have 100ml.  This should get everyone laughing along!

7.  Bring along a mobile phone, ipod with leaky earbuds, hand-held games console and any other potentially noisy electrical gadget you can find in your house.  Then go to the part of the airport where all the frazzled long-haul transfer passengers are trying to get a couple of hours sleep and turn them all on.  If you can listen to a humourous audio book on your headphones and occasionally laugh out loud, not only will it annoy people, it will also make them a little afraid of you, thus ensuring you those coveted empty seats to put all your bags on.

8.  Head purposefully towards every travelator and walk onto them with speed.  Then immediately stand stock still and put your bags down so that nobody can get past you.  At the end of the travelator it is imperative to dither while stepping off the walkway and then immediately stop to extend the handle on your bag, causing a pile up of disgruntled travellers behind you.  Then walk off, oblivious to the carnage.

9.  About ten minutes before your plane is due to board, randomly stand somewhere close to the embarkation point.  This will cause other nervous and sheep-like passengers to stand behind you forming a pointless queue when in reality they could all have stayed in their seats until the flight was actually called.

10.  When boarding the aircraft, make sure to take your time putting things in the overhead lockers while everybody else waits behind you in the tiny aisle.  If possible, change seats at least twice, moving all your belongings each time, and be sure to smash your enormous hard-edged carry-on case into somebody’s laptop bag in order to make it fit into the compartment, thus damaging their screen.  They won’t realise what’s happened until they get to their destination and by that time you’ll be long gone.

The sad thing is that most of these suggestions are drawn from things I’ve really seen at various airports around the world!  Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments below.

Or for some more gentle humour, try these articles by the same author:

Fans Who Love Their Team Too Much

Famous for all the Wrong Reasons

BARBIE, KEN AND THE REST IN PLASTICVILLE
(The continuing story about life among the plastic people)
BY ELEANOR TYLBOR

SCENE: A WAREHOUSE… SOMEWHERE. ROWS AND ROWS OF BOXES COVER THE FLOOR SPACE. HANGING LIGHT BULBS CAST SHADOWS ON THE WALLS. IT IS THE PLACE OF SOLITUDE AND EXILE FOR BARBIE, KEN, G.I. JOE AND OTHER DOLLS, WHO HAVE HAD TO ADJUST TO LIFE IN A CARDBOARD BOX


BARBIE
(muffled voice)
Hel-lo? Like…can anybody hear me?

G.I. JOE
Yeah – me babe! Your best buddy and boyfriend and love of your life, G.I. Joe, here to save and serve you! Is the enemy near? I can smell the bad guys!

BARBIE
First of all I’m not your girlfriend…why am I bothering when we’ve gone through this a zillion times, already. Like…we are friends. Just friends. Got that? Gee whiz I hate this place!

G.I. JOE
(laughing)
…just friends. Sure babe. I get it! You don’t wanna tell that douche bag, Ken, we’re shacked up. Right?

BARBIE
Say what? How can we be shacked up when we’re living in boxes?

G.I. JOE
Well…see… Uh-oh…I hear something!

BARBIE
(sighing)
You’re always hearing something…

KEN
(sobbing)
Is…that…you…Barbie? I-I’m so scared!

G.I. JOE
Ten-shun! Get a grip, sissy boy! You’re a marine!

BARBIE
Like…G.I. – it’s Ken! Think back! Ken? Surfer dude? The summer house?

G.I. JOE
Ken…Ken… I knew a Ken. Always walked around wearing underwear. A filthy pervert

BARBIE
That’s him. I mean – he’s not a pervert! He’s always prepared for the next big wave

KEN
When are they coming to get us? I’m sure surf’s up!

BARBIE
There are more important things in life than surfing, Ken!

KEN
Oh? Like what?

BARBIE
Well… like getting out of here. I’m so sick of living in a box. Like…my outfit is soooo passé and those Bratz have probably taken my place opening night clubs and everything. Ohhhhhh I’m so depressed!

G.I. JOE
Hey! I can do something ‘bout that with this here hand grenade I just happen to have on me. If I can just…get…at…it… I’ll just pull the string and blow our lids off

BARBIE
Oh fer… You do realize you’ll blow us up, too

G.I. JOE
…if I can just move my arm across here and…almost there…

(lights suddenly go on. There is the muffled sound of voices getting closer)

BARBIE
They’ve come to get us! I knew they’d find us sooner or later! Better fix myself up for the press… Hello? It’s us! Thank goodness you’re here!

VOICE
…yeah. These are them. Been here for a while now… We need the space so we better bring in the big shovels.

BARBIE
What do you mean, ‘big shovels’? You-you can’t do that…

G.I. JOE
…just a little more…I can feel the side of the grenade…the string is right on top…

(WILL THE GANG BE RESCUED FROM THE WAREHOUSE OR WILL THEY FACE A FATAL FATE?)

TO BE CONTINUED…

Writers & Friends

www.jrslater.com/forum

A Christmas play and story for children and families

Sometimes things happen for a reason although you may not know or realize it at the time. Only later on do you see some type of plan in the works. Or perhaps fate taking a hand.

As a youngster attending afternoon Hebrew School, it was an activity I dreaded or at least disliked. After a full day of regular classes at school, an hour of having to learn a new language wasn't something I relished. Watching TV was definitely a more interesting option. However, go I did, balking all the way and trying to come up with new and creative excuses to stay home. Most didn't work.

In addition to my mother's determination to ensure that I get some type of Jewish educational background, my teacher who also happened to be the school's principal, did everything in his power to make sure I attended classes. This included the actual physical act of coming to our home to find out the reason for my absence, on occasion unbeknownst to my mother. In restrospect I thought it was a conspiracy between them to prevent me from enjoying life as a kid.

Obviously, the experience left a lasting impression since I wrote and sold a number of short stories based on my experience.

Every year I bring out my favorite story, "The Dreidel King" a.k.a. "The Chanukah King" and post it in the various forums. For me it's a "feel good" story that transcends religion. Another story about how the simplest act of lighting Chanukah candles brought an unexpected response from seniors, comes a close second.

It occurred at this stage of my life that I have the makings of a children's/family play and will use the content of both stories to this end. There are few plays that I'm aware of focusing on Chanukah, especially aimed at children so it's a labor of love.

As I wrote - sometimes things happen for a reason. At least I'd like to believe it.

Shades of "Hair!" and "Oh Calcutta"...

There were calls for the blasphemy laws to be overhauled yesterday after a group of Christian evangelists failed in an attempt to prosecute the Director-General of the BBC, Mark Thompson, for blasphemy over the show Jerry Springer – The Opera.

In a landmark decision, judges at the High Court ruled that the Theatres Act 1968 prevents any prosecution for blasphemy over public performances of plays, and the Broadcasting Act 1990 prevents any prosecution in relation to broadcasts. Human rights lawyers described the decision as “a very important point of law” that would have a widespread impact.

The judges ruled that a district judge had been entitled to find that there was no prime facie case of blasphemy against Jerry Springer – The Opera as it was not aimed at Christianity but was a parody of the chat-show genre.

Lord Justice Hughes and Mr Justice Collins said that the musical “was not and could not reasonably be regarded as aimed at, or an attack on, Christianity or what Christians held sacred”.

The case had been brought by Christian Voice, the evangelical group, which condemned the satirical show as “an offensive, spiteful, systematic mockery and wilful denigration of Christian belief”.

Stephen Green, the national director of Christian Voice, had urged the judges to allow the private prosecution of the Director-General to go ahead for permitting the show to be screened on BBC2 in 2005.

He also wanted to prosecute the show’s producer, Jonathan Thoday.

Mr Green had applied for court orders overturning the refusal of District Judge Caroline Tubbs to issue summonses at the City of Westminster Magistrates’ Court in January. Mr Green’s lawyers argued that the show “clearly crossed the blasphemy threshold”.

Mark Mullins, QC, representing Mr Green and Christian Voice, said the effect of yesterday’s ruling was that “no prosecution for blasphemy can be brought against the BBC”.

He added: “That is tantamount to saying that blasphemy is of little, if any, relevance in today’s society.”

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/stage/article3007291.ece

SUBMISSION OPPORTUNITY: AN ONGOING DIALOGUE WITH SELF
BY Eleanor Tylbor


PLAYWRIGHT
Oh look! The Blankety-Blank Theatre is asking playwrights for plays. Hmmmm...interesting... Wonder if they're accepting plays from outside the U.S. Probably not...

INNER VOICE
There you go again! Negative. Always negative! Maybe they are!

PLAYWRIGHT
Yeah... Could be. Neh. I mean, this is a well-known and substantial theatre. They have enough playwrights domestically

INNER VOICE
So? What does that have to do with anything?

PLAYWRIGHT
Nothing but somehow I have a feeling they don't

INNER VOICE
You and your dumb feelings! How many opportunities did you let slide by based on your "feelings"?

PLAYWRIGHT
Let me read the guidelines, here... Hmmm and mmm - course I'm right. All the people and judges involved are from the U.S. Why would they waste time reading a play from an un-American? I suppose it would be a similar situation if it were reversed. You know - a Canadian theatre holding a playwriting competition? 'Course I wouldn't know having never won...anything, anywhere, anyway at any time. Oh to see my work actually up on a stage!

INNER VOICE
It doesn't say anything one way or the other. Why don't you query them and find out at least?

PLAYWRIGHT
Yeah... I could... I suppose... Maybe... I guess it would be a good idea. Let's see if they have an e-mail address... Hmm... Says here they have a lot of people reading all the entries. Well - that just about screws me. Wonder if they specialize in drama...or comedy...

INNER VOICE
So query and find out!

PLAYWRIGHT
Know what? It really scares me that lots of people will be reading my play. People who don't even know me or anything about the history of my play! How can they judge the merit of my intellect?

INNER VOICE
Nobody in Canada knows anything about it - or you either, doofus!

PLAYWRIGHT
True... It's just the idea of strangers reading my play and passing judgment on it. 'Oh look', they probably say to each other. 'This is laughable! She calls herself a playwright?' I bet they do that! Have a good laugh at our expense!

INNER VOICE
You're creating barriers again!

PLAYWRIGHT
Perhaps...Let me read some more about this theatre. Just as I thought! I could end up having a reading and not a production!

INNER VOICE
So what's wrong with that?

PLAYWRIGHT
What do I have to gain from a mere reading? I want a production! No - I need a production! I could just as easy get a group together and have a reading of my play. I don't have to spend who knows how much on postage and wonder whether anybody even read it.

INNER VOICE
So do it! Stop complaining for heaven's sake and do something. Your play will never see the light of day by sitting at a computer reading theatre submission guidelines.

PLAYWRIGHT
I'm sick and tired of submitting and daring to hope that maybe - just maybe - the play will be produced! All the while waiting and waiting for news. Checking the mail and the Internet for some response and all the while doubt creeping in and over-taking hope. What else do playwrights have to live for but hope?

INNER VOICE
You're telling me this? Me who shares your anxieties?

PLAYWRIGHT
What happens though if I can't find anyone who wants to read?

INNER VOICE
What happens if you do find people who want to read? If you don't take the first step, you'll never know. Go for it!

PLAYWRIGHT
Oh look here... this looks like just the theatre I've been looking for. I got a good feeling about this one.